• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,464 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 141 - The Nightmare Night Arc

Author's Note:

There are actually people who enjoyed this chapter...

I hated this chapter...

I have no idea why I wrote it...

Enjoy it as you will...

You fly above Ponyville, circling it a few times in blistering speed until you are sure you see BonBon's house from overhead. Also because flying is fun. Why wouldn't you fly?

Once you spotted it. You enter a free fall. Just outstretching your legs as you let the wind run through you as you drop from dizzying heights. And you just don't stop. You plummet to the ground right in front of her house. And land on your feet as if it was all good. A smile stretches across your face as you chortle. "God this horn rules, I don't even care that I'm talking to myself. I can do anything with this fucking thing."

After a little self admiration. You look to Bonbon's door. There were some lights coming from inside. So she had to be home. And that made you think. It would be officially Nightmare Night soon. Why not show them the full awesomeness of your costume?

You lift your eyepatch and hold out your hoof as you shoot out your eye into it. Then upon feeling the gooey viscous liquid upon your hoof and seeing your own eye look back at you. It makes you gag heavily and toss away your eye. "Ok...that wasn't as cool as I thought it would be.....yeesh...ok..." You sigh and walk over to the door to knock. "Man, this is gonna be great. ..I mean I know...I'm being a bit of an attentionfag. But hey, cute horses." You knock on the door. "Bonbon, hey Bonbon...can I come in please? It's me, Anon"

No answer.

You look at her front window...and there she is...or was. The moment you took a look, she ducked down. Is this episode related? What was she afraid of? Even more peculiar, the lights in the house suddenly dimmed. You could hear movements coming from the other side of the door. No voices though.

"Bonbon? You ok?" You looked around to make sure there wasn't an evil entity around you. Nothing seemed to be around.

You knock again, and as you do, the door slowly opens from your tapping. But nobody was behind it, and the setting sun's light only lit what was in front of you. You pop your head in and look left and right… Nothing.

You light up your horn and cautiously step inside. "Bonbon?...Lyra?....Anypony?" You step into the house completely, and as you do. the door shuts completely behind you. "Woah what?!" Before you can even turn, a dart hits your neck. "...agh geez! what was that?!"

You can't even see it, you spin in circles a few times trying to look at it. But it was stuck on a blindspot on your neck. And as you tried to find it, you started to feel woozy. "....ugh...what the hell?...wait....right...hoof"

You take your hoof and pull out what hit you. It was indeed a dart. ".....guh?" You look up, and see in your blurry vision, Bonbon. Hanging from the ceiling with some sort of device. a Blowgun on her hoof. She was staring down at you with a serious "You're pretty fucked" look. ".......why?"

You try to focus on using your magic. But you fail and fall over, hitting your head. "..g-goddammit...m....my......uhhh" Your body and mind gives up as you fall unconscious.

Just as quick as you were knocked out. You awake with a light flashing in your face. Whatever light it was. you thought you spotted three little fireflies within them. You had to turn your head away as the light was tilted slightly away from your eyes.

"Ughh....what happened?" You were still in a woozy haze, you tried to move, but you found yourself unable to. You were tied up. To a chair, it seemed.

You looked around, the room you were in...was empty...save for a single door. And then finally...you hear a voice coming from behind you. "Thought you could just waltz into my home, did you?"


The voice neared your ear. "You heard me. You must have thought I was a real dainty pony. Didn't you?"

someone walked in front of your view from behind. And yes, it was definitely Bonbon. "Bonbon! What gives?!"

Bonbon just smirks at you and starts rubbing her hoof on the strange, bug filled light. Looking at it intently. "Very convincing voice of a foal, and a body size to boot. Whoever hired you did a pretty....decent...job. But a uniform that good can't be any Nightmare Night costume. What? did you think you could just pretend to be Anon and just invite yourself in? You may have had a better chance pretending to be my bestie."

What...the fuck....was she....talking about. You shook your head to try to get a little of that haze in your brain out. "I AM Anon. And this is my costume! I wanted to show it to you guys"

Bonbon shook her head and gave you a sarcastic smile. "Suuuuuuuure, and I bet you wanted to have tea too." Bonbon then scoffs. "Nice try, but you should have really put some lotion to your coat if you wanted to fool me. Waayyyyyy too rough. I mean, you didn't even bother to put in a matching glass eye. You're by far the sloppiest criminal I've ever seen"

........Seriously?.....Christ. You just wanted the scare the girl a little. Instead she has mistaken you for some sort of mastermind or something.

"Bonbon, listen to me! It's me, Anon. I swear!"

Bonbon took the light and shined it in your eye. Geeeeez, did it get brighter?! "Gyah! HEY, DON'T DO THAT!"

Bonbon turned the light away, keeping her eyes on you. "Ok, if you'll level with me. You play nice, and I won't have to resort to more.....torturous methods." Bonbon says in a dark....yet...at least to you...enticing way.

...ugh, your dick wanted to actually know what she meant...given your position. But no, nooooo. It probably meant bad shit. "Fine, ask me anything."

"Ok....what's your name?"


She shines the light on you again. "Wrong answer"


"Wrong answer" Bonbon says as she shines the light on you again.


"See, was that so hard?.....Big Boss huh? Kind of an odd name, considering it sounds like.."

You immediately cut her off with a growl, if you had to hear it ONE MORE TIME! Geez, you don't know what it was. But it was like. they saw the costume, and somehow couldn't connect the name to anything close to what it should be. "Don't say it..."

Bonbon looks at you, legitimately confused. "Say what?"

"....you know what..."

Bonbon smirked at you. "Ohhhhh, you mean what I think of your name?"


Bonbon's ear twitched as she looked at you confused. "What? Don't flatter yourself. The name you have just makes you sound like you're compensating for something. I mean, Big Boss? come on. That's the kind of name reserved for only the best agents. You, you probably got it because of how small you are."


Seriously?! Only now that you're her fucking prisoner for whatever reason do you get the answer you wanted to hear. But nooooo, she also had to throw in that the name apparently also meant you had a small dick....or something about your actual body size....whatever, it was insulting either way. You'd rather she'd have just said the mob boss thing. But nope, you got exactly what you wanted. The thing that made it truly insulting is that she figured it out WHILE you were captured. As she said, reserved for the top agents. If you knew she was going to go all Sweetie Drops on you. Then you would have fought back.

Bonbon had no idea what you were getting THAT excited about. It was confusing to her. "What's wrong with you? Or did I actually hit a nerve with that whole compensation thing?"

"Yes! actually. You could have just said the whole top agent thing and I would have been happy. But why'd you have to throw that in? Do you know I haven't even seen my own dick since I got here! I just lean over the toilet and bam!"

"You're....what?...What's a dick?" Bonbon was confused and intrigued. If it was a secret gadget or weapon. She wanted and needed to know. Obviously a pony's grasp on sexual lingo was pretty awful. You should have said penis. In fact...

"What?! REALLY?!..You know..A dick...A schlong..MY FREAKIN' PENIS!"

"You're....WHAT?!" Bonbon was thrown aback in surprise from such lewdness. "I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT! WHAT KIND OF SICK PONY CARES ABOUT THAT SIZE OF THEIR PENIS!"

"I DO, YOU S.....wait...did you actually say the word penis?" Noooo way. did she actually say the word? As angry as you were. That struck you as hilarious. In fact, it lightened your mood almost immediately...you had to get her to say it again. Forget being prisoner. YOU NEEDED THIS.

"What else could I have said? What are you...some sort of pervert?" Bonbon says. Which makes you think of something even better.

You wiggle your eyebrows at her. and smirk. "Maybe, maybe not. Why don't you let me out of these ropes and I'll show you why they call me Big Boss"

Bonbon cringed hard "...Creepy...especially since you're still imitating a foal's voice."

"Oh come on, don't beAHHGHH! CAN YOU STOP THAT!...ugh...." You cry out

Bonbon, disgusted by your advances, shines the light upon your eye once again.

"No! Not only was that the most pathetic pickup line I've ever heard. But you're my prisoner, remember? Now answer my questions!"

You smirk at her, oh yes. You were going to milk this now. You don't know what it was...or maybe you did. But actively sexualizing a pony was really fun. Besides, it wasn't like she was going to put a bullet in your brain. "Ohhhhhhh.....I wasn't aware you were into that stuff"

Bonbon raised an eyebrow "What stuff?"

You tried to lean is as much as your bondage would allow. "Y'know, domination...." You say your next words slowly, seductively. "Sexxxxuaaalll domination"

Bonbon got really angry, you could swear fire came from her nostrils as she came up and physically slapped you. "I am a MARE! Not whatever hussie you're used to. I already know you're from some organization called FOXHOUND. Fitting, considering how much of a dog you are. So what are you here for? Larseny? Foalnapping? Or did you come for the Princess herself?"

Geez, that actually hurt....but one more....ooonnee more. You could take it. This was too good to pass up. You'd never ever get another chance. "Only thing I'm guilty of is how much I want that sweet butt of yours. And considering that cutie mark, it must be extra sugary"

Bonbon went into overload. Geez, she must have never been hit on before. Then again, most ponies were 9/10s to you.

But while she turned red with rage. You just wiggled your eyebrows again. Finally, she got up and turned away from you. Trying to act cool and calm. She was even cursing herself in her mind. Losing it over just words. "Well, since you don't want to cooperate. I'll just leave you here to starve. And don't even bother escaping. I don't know if you noticed or not. But I put a high end magic inhibitor ring on that horn of yours. You're not getting out anytime soon unless you tell me everything you know. If you ever heard about how you should never mess with Sweetie Drops, then you're going to learn it now"

....Ohh shhiiitttt....that's right. Your horn....yeah.......the horn on your head....the one you could have used the whole time....right. Must have slipped your mind when you got darted. You also couldn't let her leave. Oh god...OH GOD. Fuck scaring her, you were going to wig her the fuck out. You were going to fucking record this. What could stop you? You had god magic. But...did the ring stop you?

You try...and sure enough. You make a camera sneakily appear overhead as a small black hole in the wall. You smirk a very wide and evil smirk. You loved Nightmare Night.

"So agent Sweetie Drops, you're just gonna let me die here huh?" She wouldn't , it was just a scare tactic. And she slowly turned, hoping you'd talk.

"Unless you start talking, then yes. I'm going to leave you here."

"But I'm hungry, can't I get a little something?"

Bonbon shook her head "I told you, you aren't getting anything. Not unless you talk."

"....But Sweetie Drops....I'm hungry...for you!" Before she could say another thing. You blast off from your bindings and jet right to her lips. Giving her a kiss before flipping backwards.

Bonbon was stunned. She couldn't believe it "N-no way..how did you..." Then it hit her as a little of your drool dripped from her lips. "DID YOU JUST KISS ME?!"

"You know it!"

"Who are you?! Nopony has that kind of ability. Nopony but an alicorn or a.....oh no" It finally hit Bonbon. She just realized everything she did was wrong. Her eyes, her pupils. They couldn't contain the astonishment. The only horn she had learned of that would even be able to bypass that kind of ring was... ".........You're really Anon"

You nod as you revert yourself to normal. "Yep, I got you good. Didn't I?"

But she failed to realize the joke. Instead, to her. This was serious. "ANON! ARE YOU INSANE?! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE JUST DONE?!"

"Woah woah, relax. I won't tell anypony. And I'm not angry about the whole slap or light shine thing. Or the fact that you put a dart in my neck."

"ANON!...AGH" BonBon put her hoof to her face and pulled down. She was having a hard time with the situation. "Anon...." She took a breath "Anon...Nopony is supposed to know about this. About my secret!"

"But you've Told Lyra, right?"

"Yes...I MEAN NO!...I MEAN....AGH!" Bonbon didn't know how to handle this. "WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING IN THAT KIND OF GETUP!?"

You narrow your eyes at her, and start rolling your front hoofs around to emphasize your next words. "...Nightmare Night...you know..costume"

"....right..." Bonbon slapped her face with her own hoof "...right.....and you have that horn that let's you use draconequus magic. I really screwed up. "

"Hey Bonbon..." You move up to her, and give her a gentle hug. The fun was kind of over now. And it was worth it. It's not like knowing her secret was going to change anything. You already knew before.

Bonbon didn't know what to do. She didn't know your history. And she knew she messed up big. "Anon...you have to forget everything you saw here today. Ok? You can't tell anypony. Not a soul..promise me Anon...Please. It's not just because it's a secret. It's for your safety."

"I promise, you're just Bonbon to me anyway. My friend who helped me out when I was in trouble."

Bonbon sighed. She still didn't know. She'd have to keep a closer eye on you. But for now, it'd be fine. So she did her best to relax and hugged you. But she really really hoped you could keep a secret as good as Lyra could. She was still running the situation in her mind. How she could make such a mistake. Then another thing hit her, which made her break the hug. "Hold on a second....Anon"

Why did she break the hug? What was wrong now? "Yeah?"

"............you hit on me. Do you even realize how vulgar your come ons were?"

You look up at her, first with a look of remorse. "But..." And you gave her a gentle look. A gentle look of sorriness.

It makes her drop her guard a little. "Anon..."

But then you smirk. "But the only come on that matters is when I come on you!"


Ok..that was enough fun. You jump away from her and shake your hooves in forgiveness and worry. "Hey hey, It was just a joke ok? Woah, you gotta relax. I didn't mean any of it. You're wayyyy too old and I don't even think that kind of stuff is good. It's gross and nasty and stuff." What a lie, even though telling that kind of lie didn't bother you.

Bonbon scans your face to see if you were lying. She felt she'd have to go to Discord himself as a concerned mare if you were actually that vulgar. Still, she wondered where you even learned such things. ".........."

She couldn't detect any lying from you. So, she slowly began to cool down again. "....I believe you. But...where did you learn to talk like that?"


"...uhhhh...some weird magazines I would find back in Phillydelphia"

"Well Anon, you need to forget about what you read. That's not the kind of thing mares like to hear from a colt like you. Do you understand? it's things even proper stallions would never say."

You nod. But Bonbon wouldn't take just a nod. She came closer, and looked down right at you "....do you? Because I will tell everypony if you don't"

....geez, harsh. "...I do..." Sheesh.

Bonbon nods, and goes and gives you her own little hug. Then leads you out of the room. "Come on, I'll take you back upstairs. I've got some candy to give out for the night, you can take some if you want."

"I do, Kind of want to start ahead of the curve before Nightmare Night officially starts....you're really not mad at me?"

"No, as long as you're not mad at me. Still....you never pulled any of those "moves" on your filly friends....right?"

You shook your head deftly. "nononononono, it'd be....rude...and bad...and nasty if I ever did."

Bonbon nods with a happy, understanding smile "That's right, good for you. I guess I can't be mad. Because I was in the wrong first."

"Don't worry about it. We'll just say it's even. Oh hey, where's Lyra?" You say, as you cast a final bit of magic. Hoping you did it right. It was a magic to make a disc appear in your saddlebag with the footage you taken. Where your saddle bag was. You didn't know in all actuality. But just the same. The magic should work. Hopefully Bonbon would actually know where the bag is.

"She's in Canterlot. She knows I get a little antsy around this time so she goes spends her time there. I don't mind." Bonbon leads you into a room full of low tech gadgetry and papers. Folders and files, cabinets, all sorts of shit. And she walks to the wall and knocks on a certain part of it as a secret door opens.

Bonbon leads you upwards through a secret staircase which leads into her kitchen. Right through the pantry door. Bonbon looks to the side as she heads through first. and points. "And there's your saddlebag.....I feel really silly too. I should have had a look inside it. But I thought it could have been boobytrapped. Nothing but school supplies in there right?"

You nod. "Yep....hmnnn"

You really wanted to show Lyra your costume. You still could...but you wanted it to be on Nightmare Night itself. Because as you looked outside. It looked like it'd begin very soon.

Bonbon went and opened a cabinet and pulled out a bag of candy and slowly poured some into your saddlebag. "There you go, that should get you a little bit of an early start."

"Thanks Bonbon, And umm...sorry about the come ons...they were pretty good though, right?"

Bonbon stopped to actually think about it. But then she shook her head. "Good?...I wouldn't say that. Clever? Yeah, you had some pretty snappy ones......now never do it again. Those are things you shouldn't know about until you're older."

You nod, showing her you had an understanding. "Yes ma'am....can I ask you one more question?"

"Ok...what is it?"

"....What exactly do you do again?"

"........Anon.....if I told you, there'd be a search party looking for you tonight. " Bonbon gives you a very....very serious look.

....man..was it that serious?...fine....boring....would have been cool to know. "Y-yes ma'am...well uhhh..." You secure your saddlebag, and start to walk towards the door. "...so....just to uhh..make sure. None of this ever happened?"

Bonbon nodded. "Right". And as she said that. You could swear the devil itself appeared in her eyes.

"..Just making sure" Oh, it will always be a rather permanent memory either way.

And with that. You bid Bonbon..or rather Sweetie Drops. a farewell. Considering it was now getting dark. It'd probably be best to find your friends.

...Damn that was fun...and scary.

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