• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,239 Views, 2,757 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 217 - Twilight Week Arc

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Discord gets mad.
Lyra is cute.
And Anon tells a secret.

"Then at least ask Spike to go with you. I don't want you going by yourself." Twilight didn't want you to walk through town alone. Not in your condition.

Spike? Hmmnnn, y'know. You did need to get closer to that guy too. He did help you out. You might as well also use this as an excuse to hang out. Sad you couldn't go bowling with him today though. "Alright, I can do that. Do you know where he is by any chance?"

"He said he was working on something in the castle library. So he should be in there."

Welp, then time to go back in. Wait...you had to anyway. Pinkie wanted you to try something out. But before you could even do that. Trixie stops you one more time. "Ahh, Anon. Erm, before you go. Really..." Trixie sniffles as a tear comes down her right eye. "Thank you, for trusting in me when nopony else would"

You nearly cringe at that. You didn't, you were the one who originally trusted her the least. Ugh, one tiny lie won't hurt. It's for her. It's for her well being, you didn't need to break things up now by telling her how it really went down. "Trixie, heh, no prob. You're one cool pony"

"Ahrm" Trixie clears her throat nervously. "And you too. That is the right thing to say, right?" You nod, with a tiny chuckle. "Then yes. Trixie thinks you are cool too. I....think you're cool. And a great friend." Trixie then takes another bow. "Goodbye Anon. You stay..erm..cool!" She tried to be less boisterous and more "hip" like you would be. It was cute.

You say goodbye to the practicing pair and head back inside. and two seconds into stepping back into the cutie map room. Pinkie calls out "Nonny!" while she sits on the chair above the tank.

"Heya Ponk! so, is that thing ready to go? I mean..." You look at the tank of water...or. It wasn't water anymore. it was fucking red...like. Your pupils shrink at the surprise. "P-Ponk?! W-what's in that tank?!"

"Gelatin! And it's cheeerrrryyyyyy flavored. I realized that maybe some ponies wouldn't want to just get wet. So then I thought. Woooo gelatin! Everypony loves gelatin! And it's even better when you can swwwiiiimmm in it! Now come on! Let me have it!" Ponk swings her leg around in an excited manner, ready for the plunge of the day.

Well...if she wanted to. You weren't too big on swimming in gelatin. You could still remember the early days of coming to Equestria and falling right into Discord's gelatin. Tasty...but not very breathable. You spot some balls on the cutie map table, waiting to be tossed at the target at the right end of the room. "Alrighty then...this should be easy...." You take one of the balls and get ready to toss. "Here we go!"

You toss the ball at the moving target beside the tank....and miss… You grump at the entire toss. Considering the target wasn't that far away, closer than the targets on the flim flam brother's booth.

"C'mon Nonny! I know you can do better than that!" Pinkie cheered for you.

That cheering..that cheering from one as pure as ponk...now you knew you could do it. So you try again....and again...and again.....and you're walking up to the balls to pick them up so you can try again… And...Pinkie is asking you to take a step closer so you can get a better shot.. And...another step..

"Nonny...Maybe I don't know as much as I think I know. But, maybe another step might help?" Pinkie's enthusiasm was now nearly exhausted.

....Dammit..you were nearly at body's length at this point. "...ok...and..." You toss another ball...and miss.

Pinkie cringed at that toss. "...I-it's not so bad...erm..maybe another step?"

........

You take another step...you were nearly face to face with the target now. Sure, it wasn't as big as the first targets the flim flam brothers had. But did it make that much of a difference?!

.....

......

You toss the ball and easily hit the target this time. Pinkie let's out a small yelp as she drops into the gelatin, she then pops her head out and reaches to the edge of the tank to pull herself up so she can look at you. "Nonny...are you ok?" Pinkie was worried that your pride may have been hurt.

"It's fine...I just need to practice a little more is all." You look at the target with much disdain. You could feel it's spirit laughing at you. You let out a low growl. "Laugh while you can now...I'll destroy you one day with one hundred percent accuracy"

"What?!" Pinkie looked at you, confused.

Oh...shit..you were talking to yourself again. "Oh errr....I was just saying I'll do better next time. hehe"

"Okie dokie loki! Thanks for testing the target with me Nonny! Looks like I'm just gonna have to make it a little bigger."

"Huh? N-no, it's fine. Like I said, I just need some practice. Don't make it any easier. I'll get this mastered for tomorrow ok? I'm sure everypony else can do this just fine."

"...Ok, if you say so....WHEEEEEE!" Pinkie falls backwards back into the gelatin and starts eating as she swims around.

....goddammit....were you really..REALLY...that bad? "..yeah....ok.." You sigh as you go through the hallways and stairs of the castle. looking for the castle library.

As you do...you hear a familiar voice in your head. "Anon...you're being foolish."

Your ears perk up as you look around. You could already tell who that was. "Discord?...ugh..really? Now you're getting annoying."

"Me?! Annoying?! How DARE you! I'm trying to help you. Do you not realize what's happening at all? Are you truly that dense? Anon, how can you not see what's happening?"

You look around. But you couldn't see him...but you could hear an annoying buzz. "What are you talking about?"

"Pardon the human words Anon. But you are becoming a PUSSY! Mrrrooweerr" You hear Discord meow, it came from the ceiling.

You look up...well then, how wonderlandian. He was a purple cheshire cat painted on the ceiling, it looked rather....discordian.

You let out an heavier sigh. The fuck did he want now? "Discord....will you just go? I'll see you when the week is over. I don't even know what you're talking about."

"I could do that. But I won't. I CAN'T. As for what I'm talking about!" Discord zoops through the walls like a living blob of paint and heads into the ground. Becoming your shadow, but much more....wussified, it was shaking and skinnier than your current form. "You're becoming like every other pony ever. A goody goody, nice, friendly sort who doesn't want to cause any trouble whatsoever. Or do you not see that?"

You let out yet another dismissive sigh as you continue walking. "Not every pony is like that you know. And I'm certainly am not, I can still pull off a mean prank. If you mean me telling the truth more. Well...that's because it actually makes things better."

"Do you even listen to yourself?" The discordian shadow says, looking at you as if you were an idiot. "Think Anon, THINK! What tends to happen to every episode antagonist that gets stuck with a pony, NAMELY Twilight, for any prolonged period of time?"

They get reformed...easy. But, you didn't really need reforming. Nor did you feel you were being reformed. "Yeah....those are always the assholes getting reformed Discord. I'm not one of them. If anything, you're being the pussy. I don't know if you realize this or not. But you do remember that the only reason you're Fluttershy's friend is because it was pretty much forced? You may not fully be reformed, but you had to go through the process. I don't. It just so happens that being cuddled, nuzzled, and treated well happens to cause a good feeling. It's NORMAAAALLLLLL" You put an annoyed and slightly angered emphasis on the "normal" to display that you were already sick of his insinuations.

"Just because it's not the show doesn't mean the same rules apply. They do, and you're being reformed just like the rest of them. Me? I can still do what I wish, Fluttershy is the only MAJOR exception for.....reasons I won't discuss here." Discord slips out of your shadow and back to the wall as a disgruntled cheshire cat, his eyes warping about angrily as he spoke. "The point is, you're changing for the worst. You aren't taking the right risks. You aren't putting your hoof down when you should. You aren't causing as much mischief. You're not even getting back at ponies who deserve it. Did you forget what Twilight nearly did to you?"

Clearly he didn't know what he was talking about. Because you were sure it wasn't that extreme. "No, but I forgive her for it. Was it a huge mistake? Yeah, but I know now that I hadn't been honest with her in the first place. She was suspicious because I was lying...hell, I still have to lie about that part. But only because of the subject matter. Otherwise, I don't need to lie about everything else. When I don't lie, everypony treats me better. It makes me feel better. Everything is just.....better that way"

"You THINK it's better that way. Yes, I admit the adoration can sometimes feel....nice.." Discord scuttles up back to the ceiling. "But...." A shadow of a colt appears under him. "That is because they think you are truly a foal. So of course they are going to be nicer and shower you with love and adoration while forgiving you for everything you do...." Then a shadow of a stallion appears above him. "But if you were an adult. Things would change. You'd be held accountable for everything you do, eventually ponies would get fed up with you. Even Fluttershy, your dear Aunt, would get sick of you eventually....all you would have is me." The shadows then meld into Discord as he pops his giant mishapen cat head out of the ceiling and yells at you. "I OWN YOU ANON! YOU ARE MINE!"

You step back, a little startled from the sudden head lunge. But...he was wrong. You knew he was. You let out an arrogant chuckle. "Don't be an idiot. I know being an adult is different from being a kid. I already had to do it once. I'll just do it again and grow into it. And I don't belong to you either. In the end, we're friends..that’s all. But keep this shit up and well..I don't even know anymore. I still appreciate all the help you gave me when it came to Coco and Suri, and Spoiled Rich. And we can still do that if you want. But fooling around with innocent ponies? I can't do that anymore...I think that’s a sign of maturity if anything."

"MATURITY?! YOU WHINE ABOUT EVERY LITTTTTLLEEE THHHHHHIIIINNGGGG!" Discord head erupts into confetti. Blasting you in the face as you cover your eyes. You just look at the confetti with unpleasantness as you brush it off your face. You then feel something resting upon your neck.

"And besides, your destiny is chaos. Nothing you can do about that I'm afraid" A mini Discord rests upon your neck, suddenly calm and cool, as he begins blowing and wiping the claws on his paws. "My point is that you are being reformed. And if it continues, you'll eventually lose your way. And then you'll find that regular pony life is mundane and boring and eventually you won't even have the will to cause any chaos at all. You'll be a boring shell of your former self and then....even I won't be able to help you."

..Was that true?....No..nonono. He was just doing his whole manipulative bullshit. You could still live a happy and fun life as you are now. You didn't need to cause chaos to everyone. Just a select few...especially those who threaten your friends and family. "Nice try Discord. But you're just talking shit. Everything is better for me now that I have things in order. I'll still go on adventures with you, but not if it's going to hurt anyone innocent. Now can you leave me be? Like I said...I'll see you at the end of the week."

But he wouldn't budge. And hearing the words "I have things in order" really put him on edge. "Oohhhh how very wrong you are Anon. In this short span of a week you are giving up everything I gave you. And not only that, but aren't you forgetting something? A very special promise you made to somepony?"

A promise? "To Diamond Tiara?" Discord shook his head very slowly as he zipped forward, back to normal size, and flashed his eyes green. Green as… "Chrysalis? What about her?"

"Really Anon? You said you'd help her. Help her be forgiven by pony kind. How can you do that when the way you are becoming will make you ill equipped to handle all the difficulties you'll have with that? She needs your help...She can't get that kind of help from a sniveling goody goody. She needs somepony who can level with her and actually be her friend. She won't want to stay friends with you if this continues..." Discord outstretches his paw to you, giving you a look of despair. "Take my paw if you want to really live the good life Anon..."

You shake your head and push it away. "I'm sorry Discord, but I can't. I still think I can help Chrysalis...you're just being melodramatic. Just go home, ok?"

"....." Discord slowly pulls away his paw and looks at you with so much disdain, his pupils burn like fire. "...So that's how you want to play, is it? Well then....I will let you have your last two days. But when you're back in my care....you're going to regret this decision. But don't fear the future Anon..." Discord hovers backwards as he gives you a chilling and cold smile "I won't send you back. You're still my friend after all. And besides, I can't do anything that would cause Fluttershy to be upset.......but that doesn't mean you shouldn't look behind your back either. Once these days are gone, chaos will be the order of the day...everyday. And trust me, I have something for you that neither you...or even myself...could tell the truth about. Not even to dear Fluttershy...oh yes. And you will just have to take it....hahaha...hah..HAHAHAHAHA" Discord lets out an evil laugh as cloud envelope around him. Making him vanish in a bolt of lightning.

You just blink in surprise. In fact, that threat...it worried you. ".....Shit......" N-no..fuck it...he's just throwing you in a ruse. He couldn't go that far. Someone would call him out on it. Just..don't worry about it. He's just trying to get into your head. "Get it together Anon, he's being a selfish prick. That’s how he usually is. Just...don't worry about it. Dammit Discord..."

Why couldn't he understand? His weird way of caring about you was finally becoming abrasive to the life you were trying to live. It was getting more difficult at this point to conduct yourself the way you wanted without upsetting someone.

"You just can't control my life like that. I'm not a damn puppet....you hear me?! I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING PUPPET!" You let out a yell in rage. You could feel it in your very bones. You didn't want him to fuck with you. Not anymore. Dammit...he was supposed to be your buddy. Why can't he just be consistent? Why couldn't he just be happy for you?

You take a few breaths. You were just worried and upset. Hell, looking where he once stood, you could see small puddles on the ground. Tears? No..ignore it! IGNORE IT!. You were overthinking things, that's all...whatever..fine. Just...get over it and find Spike. The day will get better...you know it will.

You then hear the little pitter patter of feet behind you.

Huh? You turn around, hoping it wasn't Discord. and you were right to be in such hopes. Spike was rushing up to you, holding an oddly painted gem. "Anon?! Anon, What the hay is going on? You ok?! I heard some yelling and...wait..." Spike looked around, you didn't seem to be hurt...and there was nothing around "...What are you yelling at...exactly?"

...Spike?...damn, he must have heard your yelling. "The truth? I was yelling at my dad, who just decided to be dumb and try to cause something because he thinks this is a bad idea."

"Oh...." Spike rolled his eyes. "That sounds pretty typical Discord to me. Didn't know you were having any problems with him though. Should have known he couldn't play all nice and good forever."

.....Mnnn. "It's not that, he's just worried that I'm not gonna be the same when I come back, I think he thinks we're done being buddies. He's being a dad....I think"

"Well he's still not supposed to be poking around until the week is up. And hey, aren't you supposed to be resting? I heard about the chimera attack." Spike put his arms to his side as he shook his head "What made you think you could take on a chimera without your horn? You should have just let Twilight handle it. She always knows what to do"

....No fuck off Spike. You didn't need to be told how badly you fucked up. "Can...we not talk about that? As for me resting. Aunt Fluttershy made some medicine for me to help me feel better. Actually, I want to go see her but Twilight said I should ask you to come with me first. She doesn't want me going out alone."

"Yeah I'll come with. Twilight just doesn't want you being on your own after nearly getting mauled. But first..." Spike holds up the gem. It was a blue sapphire gem with a cute little "Ur my best friend" sentence painted onto it. "Pretty good huh? I know it's a little on the cute and girly side. But Twilight really wants this festival thing to go well and I thought handing these out would really help the cause...though..." Spike licks his lizardy lips as he gazes at the gem. ".....sometimes I just want to have a little bite and.."

"Ahmmm, Spike, look.." You could already see where this was going. And you wondered why no one ever gave him this suggestion. "I can see you want to eat it. But I also know you wanna help Twilight so....did you ever think of separating the gems into ones you'll eat...and ones you'll paint on?

Spike stopped..and just stood there for a moment before realizing how easy that sounded. "....Huh....I never thought of that...I guess I don't have to use ALL the gems...alright, let me just go put this back. Set a few gems aside, take a few with me, and I can get the rest done before the day is over. Just wait back with Pinkie ok? I'll get it all done, lickety split"

You wait back downstairs, taking a seat on Twilight's chair as you watch Pinkie swim and devour the cherry gelatin within the tank. You didn't want to disturb her. She looked like she was having a wonderful time. After many a moment, you rest your head on the table and just ponder some more on your throwing style. How could you fuck up so badly? Huh...

Then suddenly, you feel something very light slide into your mane. You lift your head up and watch as a letter falls back down onto the table, falling from your mane. "What?" You look at the letter's sender. And… "Hey!"

It was a letter from Starlight Glimmer. That's pretty neat. You wonder what she had to say. You look up, Spike was just observing Pinkie in the tank. Reaching his hand into it to grab some gelatin for himself to munch on. He must have tossed the letter at you while you had your head down.

You open the envelope and take a look at the letter. The letter itself was folded into three pieces. wow, she wrote down A LOT. She was happy that you were well of course. The letter boils down to the fact that she's doing much better thanks to your help and the help of the town. It seemed they decided to just make the town hall and put a library in it. The work on their train station seemed to have started as well. They are even making a road from the station to the town given that it seems some might get lost looking for it. But it's the last piece of the letter that probably nets your complete interest. It seems Starlight would wait on another letter from you. Asking you how your time with Twilight was as a whole. If things went well, she would actually come down for a visit. And see how things would be for herself....well then. You'd have to remember to send her a letter when this was all over.

You smile as you slip the letter back into the envelope and slip that into your saddle bag. You'd keep this as a memento, your first letter from a seasonal villain turned good. "Alrighty, all set and ready to go....wait,"

You look inside your bag and noticed your map...you could have used that to go to Fluttershy's to be honest. But, you sort of wanted to see what was going on around town. And fuck, Discord might have a trap waiting for you upon your return. Yeaaahhhh...never mind. "Yeah..ready to go"

Spike climbed down from the edge of the tank and rubbed his tummy before burping out a small flame. "Gotcha. Let's get going, and don't do anything I wouldn't do. Fluttershy would kill me if I brought you to her all banged up"

You let out a chuckle as you both step out and head into the town. "I don't think she's capable of killing anything...she might softly yell at you or something"

"I dunno, sometimes I think Fluttershy has this boiling anger inside her. Like, one day, she's just going to snap on whoever hurts a animal in front of her or something. When that happens, ohhhhh boy. Because let me tell you Anon, I've seen her raging. You wouldn't like her when she's raging"

"You mean when she was the Saddle Rager?" The Power Ponies episode came to mind

"Yup....hey wait a second" Spike looked at you, he didn't know you knew that. He didn't know HOW you knew that. "How'd you know about that?"

"Well Spike, she is my Aunt. Discord is my Dad. And erm...well. I get told things. Let's just say I've had a nice window into everypony's past stuff. It kind of helps actually? Helps me fit in better"

"Well, you're already "In", aren't you? Weird that you know that kind of stuff. But I ain't gonna question it, Discord probably likes to talk a lot." Spike then mutters to himself "Probably loves hearing himself talk too"

"Oh I know, but I learned this stuff before that. It's not anything I just learned and...woah...the town has a lot of tents being set up..." The town nearly looked more medieval at this point. Like a renaissance fair. Then again, it was probably due to all the tents. And there was some moderny stuff around too, like ladders, speakers, and strange contraptions.

"Well yeah, the festival is tomorrow. Everypony that is anypony is getting ready for it. It's supposed to celebrate friendship. So everything is friendship themed. I mean..I assume everything is. There's always that one pony who has to make it about themselves or try to make some money out of it" Spike rolls his eyes at the thought

You snicker as a thought comes to mind. "Or a dragon giving out cute little painted gems, probably having that one special one for that one special mare"

"....Geh?!" Spike snaps backwards, looking at you in surprise before his expression became that of a soft and adorable agitation. "Y-you don't know what your talking about. I'm making these for every and all ponies."

"Uh huh, and you'll have a special one for Rarity right?"

Spike crosses his arms and turns away. "No!"

You give him a little tap. "Come on Spike, you can tell me. Remember? We're buds, right?"

Spike mumbles a little before sighing, his defenses breaking. "...Yeah I guess...fine, I DO have one for her. She'll probably like it. But then....She'll just give me a hug and tell me what a great friend I am, as usual."

Damn, that focus on Rarity was pinpoint. You felt sorry for the guy. "Well, it's still the thought that counts right?"

"Yeah...but...Look, I don't wanna talk about it. I've done it a million times before already. And the way I figure it. As long as she's happy, I'm happy."

Spoken like a true cuck...poor guy. "Yeah...oh hey!...Well well, I haven't seen them in awhile" Two mares. A mint green one, and one with a pink and dark blue mane step into view. Both with cameras around their necks.

"Who?" Spike looks about

"Lyra and Bonbon...HEY! GIRLS! OVER HERE!" You call to them

Lyra and BonBon notice you as you call and wave to them. Lyra already gets a bubbly excitement as she looks over to Bon Bon and points towards your general direction.

"Oh, hey. They got cameras." Spike looks at the gem he was keeping with him, This one was some red sapphire, it looked even grander than the one you remember him giving to Rarity that one episode. He then looks back at them. "I wonder if they can take a picture of this."

"Hmm? Oh, is that the gem you're going to give Rarity? Wanna take a picture because it's special..right?"

Spike shakes his head. "No, I want to take a picture to remind myself that I'm AGAIN giving up this perfectly delicious gem in the name of perfection" Spike sighs. "Maybe next time I'll learn my lesson......but I probably won't" Ouch...

Lyra is the first to step up as she looks to you and Spike with an excited smile. "Hey Anon! It's been a few days, huh? You doing ok? How's that whole Twilight thing working for you? And uh...how's that other thing working out for you?" She wiggles her eyebrows at you in a near seductive manner.

Other thing? That was confusing. "It's actually going ok..but..what do you mean "Other thing?"

"Y'know...the "other" thing" She moves up to you to give you a few bumps to the side. Giving you a wink this time.

"Uhhhhh?"

"She means, how are you and your marefriend." Bonbon lets out a small laugh, both at Lyra's enthusiasm and a little at the absurdity of it all. "Anon, you're pretty smart. But are you sure you're old enough to be in a relationship already? If you don't slow down. You'll be married before junior final exams." In other words. Even Bonbon knew things were probably going too quick. In her mind, she felt she knew that like all schoolhouse crushes. It won't last.

"It's going fine. I mean, I already took her on a date and that went pretty darn well." All things considering anyway. You made sure to sound pretty damn sure of yourself.

"First date already? I didn't hear about that part. I did hear how she stopped a fight between you and an Element of Harmony. That must have been intense, what was that even about?" Lyra was confused about the whole thing. She wasn't there of course. And she had heard the fight was serious.

"Oh...geez. It wasn't even that serious. It was an exhibition match to see who was toughest. And even then, it was all staged.." You explained

"Ooooohhhhhh...that makes sense now." Lyra giggled. "I knew you'd never try to fight another pony like that without a good reason. But why would you have your marefriend stop the fight? That just makes you look bad."

Your ears droop on that part. Ugh...that part..

"Oh that part was real. Diamond Tiara totally didn't know the fight was fake and really embarrassed Anon good. It was kinda funny at first. But now looking back..it's just kinda sad.." Spike let's out, wanting to explain the situation since you hesitated.

...Fucking Spike.

"Ouch...I..can see why. Erm..Hey!" Lyra nervously chuckles as she quickly tries to shift the conversation. "Moving on from that...Bonbon and I are working on a friendship tunnel! But to make the interior, we need to take lots and lots of pictures of every group of friends we can find. We actually have quite a few from out of Ponyville… But silly us, we forgot to get some FROM Ponyville. We got some already. But how about a picture of you and Spike. And then a picture of you and me...and Bonbon and you..and then a group picture!"

"Hey, that actually sounds like a cool idea...wait..aww" You frown. "It'd actually be cooler if I could get all my friends huddled up here at once. But I don't see them around..."

Bonbon already figures out a way to solve that. "That's no problem, if you come early enough tomorrow with your friends. We could snap a group photo with them too. The festival starts in the late morning and ends mid afternoon. Gives you plenty of time to set something up. Now then...." BonBon holds up the camera with a single hoof. "Let's get this done. I don't want to hurry anypony along, but Lyra and I have a lot of work to do. But if you want, the day after the festival, I wouldn't mind some company while I test a few things I got yesterday, could be fun if everypony is responsible enough not to go overboard"

That didn't sound too bad. You wondered what those things were though. Were they things? Or "Secret" things? Since you and Lyra were in the know. She probably meant...cool gadgets?...Huh. You could tell she was directing that invitation towards you and Lyra. So it had to be.

And so photos were taken. it still bothered you that you couldn't get it with your other friends.
other friends...Applebloom. ..ahh shit, now you remembered. She wasn't looking too hot when Diamond Tiara showed up. Stubborn stubborn applefilly. She just...ugh..she just had to get over it really.

When the pictures were done being taken. You all said your goodbyes and went your separate ways. But not before Lyra gave you a big hug. You didn't want to inquire about your current social status. Best to leave it be.

So you and Spike continued your trek through the town. Everywhere, there was a new and fantastic sight. With every one of the ponies coming up with new and unique ways to represent friendship. From Friendship Fortunetelling to...oh hey..is that Vinyl Scratch and Octavia? Huh....you were almost tempted to walk up to them..mostly for Octavia...holy hell...did she look....Nope..NOPE..get it out of your head Anon. She's probably a lesbian anyway.

"So, Anon...I've been wondering something." Spike says

"Hmm? What is it?""

"It's..sorta about how you seem to know a lot about everypony. You know, Twilight, me, Fluttershy...I mean. It doesn't exactly make sense to me that your dad would go through all that trouble to explain almost everything about them. He's kind of a jerk that only really seems to care about you and Fluttershy. And I know he can't know everything. Otherwise he would have known that Tirek was totally going to betray him. So, Let's try something. I'll ask you a question and you answer it with the truth, and then you ask me one and I'll do the same thing. By the time we reach Fluttershy's, we'll know so much about each other that we might as well be best buds."

That was....unnerving. "That seems a little personal to me Spike, do you think I'm lying to you?"

Spike started to shift his eyes a little in the other direction. "...sorta..look..I don't want to hurt your feelings Anon, I really don't. But I know you tend to lie on a few things. Twilight has told me about it. I don't know why you do, but I kinda figure you don't have anypony that you can keep really really deep secrets with. I only want to do this because I feel bad for you, and I want to get closer to you as a friend. All your friends are either fillies or mares. You don't have a single guy friend aside from me. And guy friends are different from girl friends. I know you're really making an effort with Twilight. But it can't be easy. “Now I know what you're thinking... Spike doesn't really have any guy friends besides me and probably Big Mac, so what in the hay is he talking about?....well..that's my point really. We guys gotta stick together.. I didn't mean to make it sound too personal, I just want you to know that your friend Spike has got your back. And if there's a secret you need to keep. Well, I'm your dragon." Spike proudly puffs his chest out as he points to himself with honor.

...But that's the problem. He'd never understand the truth. And now you could feel that familiar sting. You knew he just wanted to be your friend. Maybe he was trying harder and being there for you because you were a colt...an orphaned colt. But this was one of the secrets you had to keep...

Before, you would have told him to leave you alone. Or you would have gotten angry. Now, you just had this urge to just tell him. Someone you could level with and visit often knowing your secret would be nice. Luna and Celestia knew..but they were rather on the authoritative side…

You'd like it so much....but you also knew that Spike could be made to tell secrets...you just...couldn't risk it.

"Spike, I really appreciate the sentiments. But...." You sigh. "Look, if I tell you one thing, then can we keep it at that? I've learned my lesson on lying. But there’s some secrets I gotta keep. And that's as far as I'll tell you with even that"

Spike turns around for a moment. This worries you as he doesn't say a thing. Then he turns his head slightly. "....Then I better not get you hounding on me if I happen to want to keep a secret or two. Ok?" Spike turns to you completely, with a smile on his face. He then leans in a little, giving you a cocky grin "But you still gotta at least tell me this one thing. Then I'll tell you one of my secrets ok? Depending on how big this secret. Well, you get it. Equal trade and all that" He shrugs.

That sounded a little more reasonable. But he wanted to know how you had so much knowledge...You couldn't lie. Or maybe you could? No..you couldn't. That would just put you back to square one..right?..But this was one of the big secrets. Could you even agree to this?

"..ermm..Spike. Would you believe that. Since I'm in a chaotic plane and all. That I have a magic box of sorts that shows me certain important aspects of the lives of Twilight and her friends? Because..that's the truth. It doesn't let me see everything. Just a lot of certain things..and yes..that'd include you too..like how you look in the mirror and.."

Spike panics and tries to get you to be quiet. "Shh! Shh! geez..ok ok. Only other pony that knows that is Pinkie Pie." Spike wipes his forehead of the sweat that quickly built up. "A magic box huh? I wouldn't believe it if it wasn't the fact that it probably came from Discord. But why did you have to lie about it? It doesn't sound like that bad a secret or anything."

....

"Well...it's more of the fact that when I think about it more and more. It's pretty invasive..don't you think?" Considering what you nearly said..it did

"..Yeah never mind...So you can look in on us whenever you want? That's kind of creepy Anon..I hope you don't actually do that."

"No..it just let's me see certain past events. Though I don't use it anymore, since I pretty much caught up. Sorry if it sounds invasive, but I promise it wasn't on anything anypony would worry about. On that note, since.." You chuckle. "I already know a secret you didn't want to let out. You wanna call it even?"

At first, Spike was the one that was unnerved. But as he thought about it, he thought it must have taken a lot of guts to just say that you had a window on everyone's lives. "Yeah, we'll call it even..but you only did it to learn about us right? Nothing sinister or anything? Because I think I get it now. You were afraid of not fitting in. Shoulda known Discord would have done something to help you out with that. He really seems to care about you. And that, is actually pretty cool.....just wish he'd care about us all like that because sometimes...sometimes he's a little much. Y'know what I'm saying?"

Oh boy did you… "Yeah...thanks for being a guy friend Spike. I think you and me are really gonna get along better from now on."

"Yeah, I can feel it too. I almost thought you were becoming a troublemaker like Discord. Heh, glad to know I was wrong."

A troublemaker like Discord? Is that how it was...well then. You felt validated then. Validated that you did, in fact, make the right choice..and there's nothing Discord can do to change it now. He's just going to have to get used to it.

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