• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,239 Views, 2,757 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 190 - Twilight Week Arc

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Anon loses speech capabilities.
Twilight gets uncomfortable.
And Sweetie Belle is mad.

This lasted for some time. Lotus asked if you had anything you'd like to talk about to help you relax. But you were already there. Holy shit, this place must make a lot of money because you'd be willing to throw in whatever money you actually have to spend a week in here.

After it was finished, you felt refreshed. Your hooves felt soft, clean, and...ehh..you kind of didn't want to step on them now. You got the feeling of perfection in your mind. Woah..actually, this is how Rarity must feel when it comes to staying clean. You didn't want to get your hooves too dirty. But...they were hooves. So as long as you didn't step into mud or anything.

Next up was apparently the massage, the big one, the real reason you came here. Lotus leads you into a private massage room. Private...heh...the thought kind of made you a little lusty. And her ass as you followed her, If only you could have a touch. It looked..so..perfect.

The room looked like one of those massage rooms in the movies, white all over and yet luxurious just the same Though it was smaller to accommodate ponies. Lotus asks you to lay on your belly on the massage table found in the middle of the room.
You hop up and stretch yourself out on your belly. Oh man, now was the time… Actually, you wondered something. You were pretty small..has she?.. "Can I ask you a question?"

Lotus closes the door behind her and pulls a lever under the massage table to adjust it for your size, making it bend just a little and lowering it down so she can reach your back. "Of course you can.”

"Have you ever had a filly or a colt as a client before?"

Lotus looked over your back carefully, it was like she could visually see every tense spot along your backside "But of course, many a pony visits the spa. And of all ages, it is my job and a pleasure to be able to spiritually heal all who steps beyond the door."

Oh....well ok then. "oh...do you mind if I ask you another que-eeeeehhh" You feel something cold along your back. You turn your head and you could see her pouring a bottle of liquid along your back using her mouth to squeeze the bottle.

After pouring enough of the massage oil along your back. She gently spreads it along your coat with her gentle hooves. "Did you mean to ask me another question, Anon?" She giggled, finding your reaction amusing.

Oh god..she hasn't even started and you got the urge to just stick a dick in it. You try to get your thoughts composed, you had a question alright. You wanted to know if she… "E-ermm..I j-just wanted to ask..."

Actually, you should put that thought out of your head. She was out of your league, and as you got more of your mind back. You realized it'd be stupid since you got Diamond Tiara to woo....sooo. "It's about a girl, and well..you're a girl who seems to be of umm...rich taste. What do rich girls like?"

Lotus became a little worrisome on that question. She hoped she hadn't done something to give you a crush on her. "Anon, what exactly would you mean?"

"There's this girl I like...and I know she likes me. But we've never dated and I kind of want to make sure that she likes my more natural side. So, ummmm..that's why I wanted to ask." You felt both nervous yet relaxed. It was an odd sensation to be mentally worried but physically soft.

"Anon, I am but a simple pony who works at a spa with an eye for the luxurious. Nothing more,"

"But, you're a girl, and you've been around rich girls. What do you think they like?"

Lotus put a little more thought into it since you were being insistent, and you were the client after all.

And this was a question you felt Lotus was more qualified to answer. Because for fucks sake, Sweetie Belle was probably going to put you through the ringer in the nonsense carnival. "Well, if you really care about this filly. And she already cares about you. Then I imagine all you have to do is be yourself." Lotus gives you a sweet grin with that squee sound.

...Dammit, that's a damned generic response. You already knew about doing that and that was something you couldn't even do completely. You needed cheap workarounds that'd impress Diamond without having to resort to "dur hur hero colt". "Gotcha....anything else?"

"No, that's all I have, are you ready for your massage?" .....she says it in such a way that it just makes you make a silent sigh. Dammit...whatever, it's fine. It's not like you were a terrible sperg or anything.

“Yeah, I'm ready to go" And the moment you let her have at it, your mind explodes in tingles. That oil, her skill, her soft hooves pressing, patting, and rubbing your back. This was it...perfection.

And while it was perfection to you, Lotus seemed rather troubled as she continued to massage your back. "Oh my..every part of your body has the tenseness of an old stallion. How does one so young accumulate such stress?"

You can't answer, you were in too much bliss. Holy fuck..was this better than even sex? You didn't know. Lotus didn't let it stop her work. But she didn't know anything was truly wrong until this point. When she was massaging your head. She could feel several bumps. As if you had incurred many many injuries. but she said nothing as to make sure you wouldn't be troubled. But this? It was almost like you had lived as an adult already, due to the worries one must have to be so tense.

"Anon, if I can ask YOU a question. I just..have to ask...." She wanted to ask if you were abused or something. Just..what she was feeling...it was odd. But she knew not to be too direct. "What exactly do you do with your time?"

What kind of question was that? What you did with your time? Ohh..ohh..she was probably making small talk. Not like your mind was completely focused on answering anyway. You just hugged onto the small pillow on the massage table. nuzzling your face into it. "Aaaahhrrmmm..." You let out a satisfied sigh "I just..do thing..I-I guess. Hero stuff, school stuff, and then there’s my Dad..hehe. You can say my..ermm..nnnmmmmmmm." You almost couldn't finish your sentence. "I...live..a life that never stops..I-I guesssssmnnn"

Lotus just nodded as she massaged your back. Huh, that's right. You were the famous hero colt that was gaining fame across Equestria. Maybe she was overthinking, she just hoped you weren't into anything that was actively ruining your delicate body. But she was an expert. Throughout the entire session, she massaged you into being such a cuddly, babbling, soft bundle of fluff that you were left unable to speak words. "All done, how do you feel Anon?"

"......mmarrnnnggmmnnnnddddaaa” Your eyes almost rolled to the back of your head, it was that good.

"I'm glad you're satisfied. When you're ready, you can get up and meet with the princess. I'll leave you to your thoughts. Please don't feel rushed, you may leave whenever you are ready. And it was a pleasure being of service." With a small bow, Lotus left you by yourself.

You look slightly upwards, you could see the wall..it was a nice wall..you wanted to touch the wall. Your mind was lost. Lotus's handiwork left you in a euphoric haze. You try flipping about to lay on your back, but instead you end up falling off the table. And right on your head. And yet, this time, you didn't whine..you didn't complain. You just picked yourself off the ground and walked forward, out of the room, dazed and relaxed. As if your head had not incurred a single injury.

Outside, waiting on a seat in the lobby, was Twilight. When she saw you, she gave you a wave and called out for you. You barely heard her. You just followed the sound of her greeting and walked right up to her and nuzzled on her side. "I love you Twilight...hnnnnngmmmmm"

Twilight was weirded out by your demeanor. What was going on with you? "Errr..I...love you too? Anon, are you alright?"

"Massage good...good forever...nmmmm" You just continued to nuzzle into her. Enough that she got uncomfortable and scooched to the side, away from you.

"The massage? Anon, are you alright?" Twilight puts more of an emphasis on asking if you were ok. You weren't really responding...normally.

You looked up at her with a goofy smile and nodded. "Best..thing...ever" You never had that kind of massage before. You never ever spent time at a spa or had anyone touch you in a way to hit all your pressure spots. It was like every bit of tenseness in your body was gone. You felt like a new man.....horse...pony.

Twilight didn't know whether to worry or laugh. She looked over to Lotus, who had returned behind the counter "Did..you do anything different in his massage?"

Lotus shook her head, she found your reactions a little odd as well. "No...I think he's just like that"

Or rather, you were so relaxed that nothing else really seemed to matter. Nope, you were either nuzzling on Twilight or that nice soft waiting couch..it was nice...that couch...maybe you should ask it on a date.

"I'm just.....going to take him home now....." Twilight lifts you up with her magic as you giggle at the fact you were hovering above the ground.

"Yes..and...thank you for choosing our spa for your relaxing needs. Please, come again" Lotus just..didn't know how to properly say that. Did she do too good a job? She was irked.

Twilight takes you outside the spa and holds you at eye level with her magic. You were still smiling. "Anon...are...you ok? Really? What happened?"

"You're cute..." You giggled

"I..uh..Thank...no never mind. This needs to be done" Twilight gives you a small zap with her magic. Making you flinch and it instantly puts you out of your daze.

"Ouch! Hey, what the hel........" Wait....oh crap, that's right...you were a pony..in Equestria...riiiight....and..woah. "abalu...was..that for? haha"

You chuckle nervously, but that only irks Twilight enough to give you another zap.

"OUCH! fine fine, I'm awake, i'm mindful...geez!"

Twilight gently puts you down as your mind returns. yeah, all those stressful things coming back to you. As well as everything else. Damn, you could remember the massage. But how good it felt? It was like a dream you loved but easily forgot...you just remember it being the best.

"I'm sorry Anon, but you were acting all weird and uhh..invading my personal space a little too much. What happened?" Twilight asked. She didn't realize that really. It was just the massage that put you in the dreamy zone. In all actuality, the fact that RD made you miss some extra sleep didn't help.

"I...I don't know" You shrugged. "One minute I was at the spa, next..it was like a dream. It had been so long since everything felt...nice"

Ohhhh. Twilight started to think that she understood. "Well..that certainly confirms what your aunt has said about you"

Fluttershy? "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is you have a soft spot for affection. I thought she may have exaggerated, but I guess she didn't. You become like a little baby foal when you're loved on...and thinking about it." Twilight lets out a cute little laugh "That's actually kind of adorable, considering it's you.”

Considering what now? Hold on, you weren't..well...you were cute. But not to be mocked like that. You frown at her, slightly annoyed at her insinuation. "Hey!..come on. I'm not that bad..I just got too much into the moment. You know, like you do when you're reading a good book."

But Twilight was still letting out small titters at the thought of it. "Maybe so, but it doesn't make it any less cute. It's no wonder Fluttershy is so attached to you. I think she really thinks you're just a little foal who needs protecting all the time."

What?! come onnnnnn… "I-I'm not that bad. It's not that bad..it's just...I already said it, I don't need to say it again!...argh..let's just go."

Your reaction intrigued Twilight, enough that she thought back to when she invited you,sorta by force, to read with her at the end of the day. She intelligently put two and two together. And wanted to tease you a little. Since you weren't reacting with too much animosity and it was just so darn cute. Plus, she just wanted to experiment...make a test."Alright Anon, but...let me ask you this. When we read Daring Do. Instead of laying next to each other. How about you cuddle next to me under my wing. As I hear, you really enjoy that"

You stop..... that bitch...THAT...BITCH......fuck....that sounded nice "...I.....erm...I mean....that's your call. It doesn't matter to me. I'm a guy, I don't need to get comfortable like you do"

Twilight smirked, but she wouldn't pursue it further. That pretty much confirmed you had a weakness for affection. It seemed to butter you up. It made her curious as to see how you'd react when nestled under her wing. She hoped it would make you be more cooperative and friendly.

For you however. You were both internally cursing Twilight and yet.....curious as to see how...dammit don't be curious. It's Twilight. She's gonna make you read a book. You didn't need a book. You had done tons of internet reading. You didn't need horse books. Especially since Daring Do was fucking real. Yeah....yeah...right...

You both travel back to the castle. You don't say much to each other at that point. Or...you actually are the one avoiding too much conversation. She was up to something. You just knew it.

....Speaking of up to something. When you both get back to the castle. There were mannequins set up around the cutie map...small mannequins...colt mannequins.. And then behind one of them, was Rarity.

Rarity? It seemed she was adjusting the clothes on one of the mannequins. Sweetie Belle was there too, sitting on Rarity's seat.....she looked.....really annoyed.

....Joy...

Twilight noticed Rarity and the mannequins And she didn't understand what the hell was going on. But because it was Rarity, she also wasn't distraught. She was merely curious as to what was going on. As for you, you knew why Sweetie Belle was here...but why also Rarity? And why did Sweetie Belle look annoyed?

You walked over to Sweetie Belle as Rarity spoke to Twilight. "Heya Sweetie Belle....what's up? You look er...unhappy about something."

Sweetie Belle looks at you, she was sitting on that chair with her head laying on her hoof. She looked so grumpy. "You think?"

Ouch, that was a little venomous...was she mad at you? "....Not anything I did right?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head, then lifted her head so she could point at her sister. You look over to Rarity, who seemed to be discussing something about you with Twilight. She looked pretty excited....and if she was pretty excited. Ohhhhh...it's that trope. "Let me guess, she found out what you were doing for me and you're annoyed that she wants to help. Right?"

Sweetie Belle blinked in confusion. She was surprised and utterly confused that you managed to get it exactly. "How did you know?"

You almost smirk about managing the guess. That's pretty good stuff. But you hold it in. Didn't wanna piss of Sweetie Belle. "Ehhh, well. You didn't mention anything about her coming along. So...I'm guessing she sort of kinda imposed herself."

Sweetie Belle let out a groan and bent over onto the table. Annoyed. "Tch, yeah. But she said she'd be my assistant. And SHE better keep it that way. This is a royal mission given to me by Princess Cadance. And I want to show that I can do this."

You look around at the mannequins. "And what are those for?"

"Oh that?" Sweetie Belle looks around at all the mannequins, then looked upon you. Eyeing you for some reason. As if she was trying to imagine you as something else. "She wants you to try on a few things. Saying that a "Filly of Diamond Tiara's position" should have a colt with "visual flair". It's kinda a good idea. But she's gonna make you look like a dork."

You were right. Rarity probably just wanted to help though. And really, Rarity was probably the better choice. Especially when it came to clothes. You felt pretty confident she could make you look stylish.

Sweetie Belle then notices something odd about you. You seemed shinier and cleaner than usual. "So what were you doing all day?"

"Oh..er, I was at the spa."

"Oh. Well that's good then. That should help you get super prepared for the date. But remember Anon" Sweetie Belle hopped off her sister's seat and looked at you with serious and hardened eyes. "You have to pass my test before you're ready. Or else you're just gonna screw things up."

Wut? You actually take offense to that. You weren't THAT bad. "Woah hold on, Diamond is already head over hooves over me. I just need some sprucing up. Not some sort of major change."

Sweetie Belle sighed as her horn began to glow and spark. Her eyes were half closed. "It's a good thing I brought this..."

Brought what? You took a quick glance to your right only to be whapped with a newspaper on the left side of your face. "Wha! HEY! What was that for?!"

"For talking back to a lady like that. You're being high and mighty again. Nopony likes it when you're being a jerk"

But...BUT, she's the one that… "What?! how am I the jerk when you j-OWW!"

She whaps you again. This time on the head "Just accept it Anon. I gotta be hard on you or else you'll just screw things up"

Grrr...how humiliating. Being smacked up by the marshmallow of the fucking group. And you were the one being high and mighty apparently… "Fine..ok" You take a moment to rub where she hit you. Dammit, who would of thought getting hit by a rolled up newspaper would sting.

"Good" Sweetie puts the newspaper onto the seat and starts to eye you over. Then she starts circling around you "Anon, this isn't going to be easy. I gotta somehow make you into the sweetest and nicest colt ever. You may be a hero, but you're also kind of a mean guy."

.....You nearly growl.. Where does she get off? "But that's why I'm he-"

"Anon, darling! can you come here a moment. I'd like to talk with you about something" Rarity called out for you. And already you could see Sweetie Belle getting further frustrated.

Sweetie Belle looks over to where her sister is, who stood at the far end of the room with Twilight, using her magic to cycle through outfits. "Rarity! hold on. I already started."

Yikes, Sweetie Belle seemed extra agitated. Seems she really did want to do this on her very own. Maybe she just wanted to prove she could complete a royal request by herself?

"I can see that Sweetie Belle, but you can't just expect Anon to follow along unless he's well dressed for it. He needs to practice while in the clothes he plans to wear. That way if there's anything extra to learn, he'll be ready to learn it. It's what all the young gentlecolts do to prepare themselves for these sort of things" Rarity explains

Sweetie Belle let out a groan, then whined at her sister. She walked up to her at a slow pace while rolling her eyes. "Rarity, you said you'd be my assistant."

"And I am, You'll still do whatever you want to do. But you can't expect me to let you teach him what you..erm..." Rarity actually did feel she'd be the better teacher. But, she promised her sister she'd take an assistant position. And in her mind, she was doing just that. She also had a little doubt in her sister's abilities. "..plan to teach him looking like that. It's just a teeny tiny miniscule detail in the grand design."

Twilight just stood there, observing. She didn't know what she could add to this now that it was actually happening. But she was definitely intrigued by it. You, needing girl training? She found it fascinating due to how abstract it seemed.

"You promise? You'll let me handle the major stuff?" Sweetie Belle asked, she really… REALLY.. wanted this. Yeesh, her and Cadance must have really bonded during their short time together..

"But of course, I already promised haven't I? I am your assistant....." Rarity does a courteous bow, Then looks to you, snapping back to her luxurious self. "Now then, Anon. Can you come here for a moment?"

...Oh lord. so this is how it was going to be? Well...it shouldn't be too bad. This was Rarity afterall. As long as you don't bitch and complain, she should do a damned good job. Just gotta remember not to step over Sweetie Belle's hooves too. You had to act as if Rarity was part of the smaller picture. "Yes, of course miss Rarity. Ma'am"

You walk over to Rarity, who immediately gives you a gentle pat on the head "I don't even see why you need any conditioning, you seem to be the gentlecolt you always are."

To Sweetie Belle, that was a threat to her cause. But to Twilight, the fact that at this point she was getting used to who you were. She found the fact Rarity considered you a gentlecolt at this point very....off. "Rarity, you don't think Anon needs a little help with his attitude?"

Rarity scoffed at the very thought. She only really thought you needed a better wardrobe. "Whatever do you mean? Anon has always demonstrated a sense of class and respect. Even if he does do something less than proper from time to time, he still acts with the utmost of respect towards his fellow ponies. I've never seen him ever need an attitude adjustment. Don't tell me you let that whole Starlight fiasco sour your opinion. Remember, He was only helping a friend. And yes...I completely remember what she did to us. But that was then, and this is now....."

Rarity looks to you and raises her hoof above you, in a presenting manner. "And our little hero colt, on his own, has demonstrated both amazing bravery and remarkable diplomacy by making friends and even rehabilitating Starlight Glimmer." Rarity didn't seem to understand at all why Twilight seemed doubtful and Sweetie Belle was agitated. "I don't understand, you both act as if their's a problem."

You nearly blushed from embarrassment. Wow, Rarity held you pretty high up in that pedestal. You couldn't really think of a moment where you acted in a very offensive way towards her. And making up for the fact you ruined that dress must have really blown her away considering how well you compensated her. Speaking of dress, you had a hard time remembering what that was for. Wasn't it for some festival or something?...huh..

"So he's never acted in a way that would. You know, make you angry with him? At all?" Twilight asked, she found it hard to believe she never noticed. Considering the way you interacted with her was completely different and animosity filled as compared to the respect you were showing towards the white pony.

Rarity shook her head "No, he's always respectful in his manner of speech. He has a slip up here and there but nothing to fret over. Is there something I should be aware of?"

Twilight didn't know if she should say anything. But Sweetie Belle did. She wanted to get things started. And she was surprised at how ignorant Rarity seemed. "Rarity, I know he acts like a gentlecolt towards you. But he's like...the total opposite with everypony else. That's why Princess Cadance asked me to help him with his dating issues. I'm going to be the one to make him into an actual gentlecolt."

Oh come on Sweetie Belle...

you weren't that bad....sorta...maybe. You frowned, hearing how she thought of you compared to how Rarity thought of you was a mood killer. What made it worse was that Rarity was right in front of you. It made you feel like a fake smuck.

Twilight then chimes in. Feeling Sweetie Belle's assessment might be a little harsh. "Sweetie Belle, you make it sound like Anon is, as your sister would put it, "a brute". Anon is just very... He just… has a different outlook on life. You have to understand that it could take him months to even years to fully adjust to his new life. And, despite a few setbacks, Anon has been doing rather well for himself. He just has a few issues here and there."

That save by Twilight seemed to have put Rarity in a better mood. She nodded in agreement with Twilight. "Indeed, Anon here is still rather young and impressionable. And the life he's lived before coming to Ponyville must have been very unpleasant. So, in my opinion, I wouldn't say he's the exact opposite of a gentlecolt. I'd say he just has a few loose threads...and speaking of threads..." Rarity uses her magic to float over a cute little black tux with a very nice bow tie. "Twilight, would you be a dear and hold Anon up for me so I can dress him."

Sweetie Belle grumbled. She wanted to say something. But now she felt it was three against one. She felt she knew better than Twilight or her sister. And she thought that if she could just fix you in her own way. Not only would her observations be the truth. But she'd also have some royal cred to her name. "Mnnn..just remember, when you dress him. It's my turn."

"Yes, yes. I know, no need to repeat yourself Sweetie Belle. I fully understand my role. Now then. Anon, I want you to be perfectly still. Can you do that?" Rarity asks you

That shouldn't be too hard. You knew you were in good hooves in Rarity's presence. "Yes Miss Rarity, and can I say something before we start?"

"Of course you can"

You hesitate, you thought that maybe it wouldn't be the best idea to defend yourself. But, you just wanted to let Rarity know that Twilight and even Sweetie Belle were right. You felt that if she got it straight from the horse's mouth. That this could prevent some sort of major disappointment in the future. Or maybe it was just you nervously covering your bases. "I'd just like to say. That Twilight and Sweetie Belle are kind of right. I sometimes act out, or get a little mean. I know you think of me as a gentlecolt, but sometimes I'm just....not"

Rarity looked down at you for a moment, her expression not changing in the slightest. Then she smiled at you. and patted your head once again "Anon, your honesty and willing to admit your faults is very admirable. My opinion of you has not changed. So you needn't be worried. Alright?"

That actually felt nice. Unlike Twilight, Rarity didn't seem to be sperging over it. She understood… or at least was fairly forgiving. It felt nice to be treated like this. Treated like despite your shortcomings, you were still a good guy. "Thank you, Miss Rarity. hmm..so..umm..all I have to do is just relax right?"

Rarity nodded "Mhmmm, allow Twilight and myself to do the work. Twilight, you don't mind being an assistant to an assistant do you?"

Twilight shook her head "Not at all Rarity, I'm always here if you need my help. You know that. Besides, I want to see how this all comes together. It's all too interesting to just walk away now. So..just lift him up? That should be easy enough" Twilight aims her horn at you, and covers you in her purple telekinetic aura.

You let out a soft squeak as you slowly lift off the ground. It always felt a little scary being lifted like this. But it was easier to also get relaxed shortly after.

Rarity looked you over as you hovered about. "Hmmmm...before we get him in the proper attire. Let's..." Rarity's own horn starts to glow as various brushes, combs, sprays, and other such items lift up from a bag set down beside her. "Close your eyes Anon"

"Ok...mnn, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to style your mane into one that no mare could resist looking over. Then after that, it's only a matter of making sure the clothes I pick out for you fit the style. Now close your eyes for me, please" She asks you in a polite manner. She looked pretty primed to get to work on you. But again, this wasn't some cheap makeup floozy. This was Rarity. An expert in her craft. There was nothing to worry about. No, the only thing you had to worry about was Sweetie Belle.

And....maybe Rainbow Dash. It wasn't connected to the situation in any way, but no fucking doubt she isn't going to let what happened die that easily. You'd have to watch yourself. Especially now that your exploits are becoming more known.

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