• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,708 Views, 2,823 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

  • ...
67
 2,823
 10,708

PreviousChapters Next
Chapter 99

You stand there as you give it some thought as Pinkie stares at you with glistening eyes. Hoping you'd change your mind.

You think deeply. And you start to think if there is even a point in NOT inviting Twilight and Spike. Even if they don't come, Discord would probably still either terrorize you, another pony, or try to be the center of attention. With any of those bound to end badly. Even if he managed to behave himself, he'd only do so until he could find an opportunity to strike. Of course, these were your personal thoughts on what'd he'd do. You didn't know if he'd actually do any of that.

But then a real terrible thought entered your head. What if he used the party as an excuse to introduce Chrysalis as your sister? You didn't have any idea if he was serious about that. But if he was… "You know what Pinkie, you're right. It is a party. I guess I got a little paranoid. Yeah, invite them too."

Pinkie jumped for joy, happy you changed your decision. "WOOOHOO! Yay! I'm really glad you changed your mind Anon. I promise… no… I Pinkie Promise that this party is going to be the best one you've ever had!" Pinkie goes through the motions of the Pinkie Promise "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye"

You didn't doubt it. Then again, you've never had a party of this caliber thrown for you before back in your world. You already knew how to deal with Discord as well, you simply won't give him the invitation. It'll be ok if he misses the party, you felt sure that he wouldn't take it personally. You hoped you were right anyway. Even then, he wouldn't blow the secret over this. "Thanks Ponk, anyway. I'm going to knock on Bon Bon's door now."

"WAIT!" Pinkie reached into the bushes, she had her own saddle bag hidden away inside. She opened it up and pulled out two more envelopes. "You want me to give it to them, or do you want to do it? You could say something like "Hi! do you guys want to come to my super mega compilation party extravaganza! It's gonna be super mega awesome!" " She holds the envelopes towards you, smiling her cute dopey smile.

Well you wouldn't say that. You'd keep it more casual. Actually, since Pinkie was asking if you wanted to do it. You decided you would, so you take the envelopes from her. Besides, you could only imagine how Lyra would react. She seemed to have this odd fascination with you. "Yeah, I think I'll do it."

You turn towards the door, and raise your hoof and knock a few times. Pinkie standing behind you, waiting for the door to be opened. The door slowly opens, Bon Bon, wearing the sun hat with the matching double colored ribbon. was standing on the other side of it. The moment she sees you, she smiles, then she looks higher up and notices Pinkie behind you. Her smile turning into worry. "Pinkie?"

Pinkie waved at her "Heya Bon Bon! Mind if we come in?"

Bon Bon seemed hesitant for some reason. Whatever it was, you noticed her mood change when she looked at Pinkie, so you knew it wasn't you. "Ummm, yes actually...erm. I was going to Lyra's house today. I just got back last night and I wanted to see her. So errm.." Bon Bon steps forward, and shuts the door quickly. "You two can come along if you want."

Huh...

"Ok!" Pinkie says gleefully, it didn't matter to her.

You try greeting her, since she didn't initially respond upon seeing you. "Hiya Bon Bon, how are you today?"

"Oh Anon, hi!" Bon Bon chuckles nervously "Sorry about not saying hi when I saw you. I just had some other things on my mind." She looks at Pinkie again, Pinkie just waves, ignorant of Bon Bon's… whatever was up with her.

Yeah, definitely wasn't you. "It's ok, so you're going to Lyra's huh? That's cool. I've been meaning to find out where she lives. Never got a chance to ask her."

"I'm surprised she hasn't told you. She really likes your company. When I asked her why, she said "Dunno, There's something about him that speaks to me". I honestly don't know what she means, but" Bon Bon giggles "That's Lyra for you."

That's endearing enough for you to smile at. You wondered, was the whole human thing of the fandom a sort of thing in Equestria? You think back to Discord's "Idea" explanation. Hrnn… no reason not to think it's a one way trip in the idea super highway. Neat! "I don't think that's a bad explanation. I just think that makes her extra friendly."

"Well, Lyra has always been extra friendly. Among other things. I couldn't think of a better friend than her, no offense"

You shake your head, that's fine. You weren't looking to take Lyra's spot as best friend. "It's alright" Actually, you wondered why Pinkie hadn't butted in with anything. You look back, and she was already gone. "Ponk?"

"Ponk? Oh you mean..." Bon Bon looks forward, and her pupils shrink when she notices Pinkie wasn't standing there. "Oh no..." Bon Bon opens her door, flicks on the light and quickly pokes her head in, looking around for even a small pink hair. But she sees nothing.

"Bon Bon? Hey, what's up? I've uh… kind of noticed you were pretty nervous around Pinkie. what's up with that? Do you not like her or something?"

Bon Bon was sure she didn't come inside. Not even a single hoofprint. She sighs, and closes the door. "It's not that, she's a great friend. I just… sorta don't want her in my house."

Wut? "Why?"

Bon Bon locks her door tight with a key, then takes the key itself apart like some sort of puzzle. and hides the various pieces in her own mane… wut?

"Oh well, I just erm..." She didn't look like she wanted to give a straight answer "I think she can be a little too snoopy sometimes. Sometimes I just look away and she can be somewhere else… like right now."

You think you got it. Bon Bon was also Sweetie Drops. She probably wasn't worried about you coming across any of her secret stuff. But Pinkie, yeah. Understandable. "She probably went on ahead, She probably thinks we're right behind her or something"

Bon Bon nodded, and started walking forward "Well, let's get going then. Don't want to give her a reason to come back, right?"

More like she didn't want a reason to worry. "Yeah, let's go."

You both made the trek down to Lyra's house. You took care to take note of every landmark and turn. So you could remember how to get to Lyra's. It shouldn't be too hard to remember. Everything was pretty distinctive in look. And you could see Lyra's house down a road with a bunch of other houses. You could automatically tell which one was Lyra's due to the fact that Pinkie was standing right in front of the door. Talking to herself?

It was a two story building, with a few windows like the other homes, the blue door had a lyre shaped hole punched into it.

"...And I said, pfltpflfkegodfojgodo. Well, actually that's what it sounded like. I couldn't really talk, Poison Joke and all." Pinkie giggled

You both step up from behind, from the looks of it, she hadn't even noticed you two weren't actually listening or even near during the walk over.

"...So Fluttershy did the song for me! Though, just to let you know. You don't need to be scared of Zecora at all, Anon. It actually turned out to be a really silly misunderstanding. Pretty funny right guys?"

"Ummm, Pinkie. Didn't you notice we weren't with you on your way over here?" Bon Bon asked, a little perplexed at Pinkie's inability to have noticed she was alone.

"You weren't? So… none of you heard the story?" Pinkie frowned, her bottom lip shaking, she really hadn't noticed you two weren't around her. She felt so bad that you both didn't hear her story.

"It was the story about how you and everypony else met Zecora, right?" You asked

"Oh, so you were listening!" Pinkie grinned, she was absolutely thrilled. She thought she was talking to herself. "So, what did you think? Pretty funny, right? Riiiiight?" She gently shoved her right leg into you, gazing at you, waiting for your answer.

Bon Bon was confused, She was wondering how you heard her from such a distance. You give a fake laugh. The episode itself was pretty funny. It was just lost on you now since well. You weren't around to hear Pinkie's retelling of it. "Yeah, pretty funny. Especially Fluttershy being Flutterguy."

Pinkie wasn't laughing any more though, she immediately got suspicious from your fake laugh, and after you said "Flutterguy", that really set off some red flags. She looked into your eyes, she looked serious. "....Anon, you didn't find that funny at all. Did you?"

...errr… "Ummm..."

"And how did you know we called her "Flutterguy?". I didn't actually mention what we called her in the story."

Holy crap, Pinkie became scary really quick. No, not scary. She was just noticing something suspicious. Time to deflect.

"...errr… it just seemed obvious. I mean, she had a deep voice right? W-what else would you call her?"

"..........oh right! I guess that would be a pretty obvious name!" Pinkie giggled,

Bon Bon took the time to knock on the door while you conversed with Pinkie. It didn't take very long at all for the door to burst open. Lyra didn't even stop to say hi. The moment she saw the three of you she dove in for a hug "Bon Bon, Pinkie, Anon!"

She stepped back, grinning happily as she hopped up and down "What brings all three of you here? Ohhh! Is it a super secret party?!" Lyra looked around for her other friends "Pinkie, you didn't have to do this you know. I would have been just as happy if it was just you three!"

Pinkie giggled "Then you'll be happy to know it IS just us three, but...." Pinkie put a pencil in her mouth immediately and started writing in the notebook. Writing down "Note to self, Go to Canterlot, get more friends, bring back, surprise party."

As Pinkie closed and put away the notebook. Lyra was already inviting the three of you inside for tea. "Come on in then! I got tea and snacks and a hay casserole! Doesn't that sound great?" You all agreed, you never had a hay casserole. But you did like hay. You were a pony, tastes change.

Lyra used her magic to quickly set up a table for the three of you. At this point, you were used to seeing things just float about. You never thought you'd have those thoughts. But the longer you were in Equestria. The more normal even the wackiest shit would get, sans Discord.

The four of you sat down. Pinkie already guzzling down her tea the instant she did and digging into the portion of the casserole she was served. The house itself was pretty plain. The walls, the furniture. There were a few lyre themed knick knacks. But that was about it.

"So, Bon Bon. How was your..." Lyra almost finished asking, but Bon Bon looked at her and shook her head. "Ahrm, right. Um." Lyra turned to you "Heya Anon. So er, I didn't get a chance to talk to you after that fight. You didn't get sore that you lost did you?"

You shake your head. "Nah, I figured it was gonna happen anyway. All I could do was give it my all."

Bon Bon put down her tea cup, she found that surprising. She wasn't aware of the fight. "There was a fight? Anon, you were in a fight?"

Lyra giggled, and waved her hoof at her friend "Don't worry Bon Bon, it wasn't a real fight. It was just something for Anon to try to get his Cutie Mark. I couldn't believe he didn't get it. I mean, that pony was super huge, but Anon was amazing! He did this spiral jump hit thingy! and it looked so cool. It looked like a sort of rising punch thing a dragon would do!"

Bon Bon put her hoof to her face and slowly shook her head "I don't think Anon should be trying to get his Cutie Mark in fighting. He ended up in a hospital by doing just that." Bon Bon sighed "Lyra, you're not supposed to encourage children to fight. You should have done something to stop it. But… Mnn, I guess it's ok. I mean, he didn't get a fighting cutie mark. It's just, Equestria is dangerous. I know first hoof how dangerous it can be, and it's not good to be filling a colt with ideas that he should be fighting just on a whim."

Bon Bon then turned to Pinkie "I wish you were there Pinkie, I know you would have talked some sense into whoever set up that fight."

Pinkie looked up at Bon Bon, her face smeared with casserole "Oh, I was the announcer AND the referee!" Pinkie smiled, a squee escaping her lips.

Bon Bon slammed her head on the table "......"

That was odd, why did Bon Bon care if you got a fighting cutie mark? She was a secret agent in, something, you didn't really know. You'd think she'd like that sort of thing. "Bon Bon, why does it bother you that I was trying to get a fighting cutie mark?"

Bon Bon slowly raised her head, and looked at you, stoic and serious. "I don't think any colt, or filly for that matter. Should be trying to get a fighting cutie mark just for the sake of a cutie mark. I don't want to sound mean Anon. But children like you can get a pretty big head and then before you know it! BAM!" Bon Bon smacks her hooves on the table "Hospital!... or worse… I've seen it happen before in my.." Bon Bon stops, and thinks of her next words quickly "Life"

"Oh, Well. umm.." That sounded like a good reason to you.

"Well, it was just sort of sprung on me. It wasn't my idea to fight. I was just going to the clubhouse my friends are usually at and the next thing I know I'm being shoved right into a fight. It wasn't a for real one though. And as you can see. I'm still a blank flank."

"That's even worse. Pinkie, I'm really surprised at you. You're an adult. Show some responsibility. You work at the Sugarcube Corner and yet you lack professionalism in your job, you need to be more like the Apples."

"Accccctually, Anon was fighting against Big Mac. And Applejack and Applebloom and Granny Smith was his trainer!" Pinkie giggled as she held her cup out for more tea

"......." Bon Bon slammed her head on the the table again. "....This is why Equestria is in danger every other week. Nopony has a sense of responsibility."

This little tea party was getting a little humorous. You held in your giggles, but Bon Bon's reactions were almost enough to make you burst.

"No sense of responsibility? Bon Bon, you don't think I'm irresponsible. Do you?" Lyra felt like she was included in that generalization. She made a big sad puppy face at her, feeling hurt.

"No, I didn't mean you Lyra. Come on, you're my best friend. You know all my deepest secrets and you've been responsible with every one of them. I could never think you were irresponsible." Bon Bon explained to her, giving her a gentle smile to reassure her.

Lyra didn't say a thing, she just rubbed her hoof across her lips like she was closing a zipper, and smiled. Making Bon Bon giggle. But Pinkie was curious, she looked to Bon Bon and beamed a grin. Trying to look as pleasant as possible. "Deepest secrets huh? You wouldn't mind telling me one would you? I can keep a secret too! and I bet it'd help me with a party I could throw for you Bon Bon! You're always so hard to throw a party for. You're either gone somewhere or the party I throw wasn't one you really wanted. So come on, tell ole Pinkie a secret and I can use it to make a better party for you!"

Bon Bon shook her head, she was now irritated with herself. She felt she should have known that even mentioning she had deep secrets would have set Pinkie off. "Pinkie, we're friends. But we're not super duper close friends like me and Lyra are. I'm sorry, But I can't tell you what I do. So please drop it, ok?"

"Awwwwww...." Pinkie lowered her head to the table as her ears drooped "Ok… but we are friends right? You aren't just saying that?"

Bon Bon nodded "Yes Pinkie, we're friends."

That perks her up back to her normal self. Friendship was the most important thing to her after all, she was still curious. But it wasn't worth losing a friend over.

Ahh yes, there was something you still had yet to do. And since you were all sitting together. Now was the time to do it. "Actually. Speaking of friendship..." You bring out the envelopes, and hold it towards them.

"You guys want to come to my… erm.."

Pinkie moved close to you and whispered "Super Mega Compilation Party Extravaganza"

"...my Super Mega Compilation Party Extravaganza? I'd really like it if you two came."

"You're having a party?" Bon Bon took the envelope and looked at it, opening it and looking at the invite. It had the location, time, and what the compilation actually consisted of "Oh, I see… but if this is also a "Welcome to Ponyville" Party, shouldn't everypony be there?"

Lyra was confused "Hey yeah, why are there invites? That's not how you do it! Why, if there were invites for my "Welcome to Ponyville" Party, I would have never met Bon Bon. What gives?!"

"That's what I thought at first too. But Anon doesn't like big crowds. And I didn't want him to NOT have fun at his own party. So I made some teensy weensy adjustments. Besides, Anon doesn't even know what the theme to the party is yet" Pinkie winked at Lyra and Bon Bon. But they didn't get why she winked.

Oh right, you did tell her to surprise you with that. But why did she wink at them?

"Errr, Pinkie? Is there something wrong with your eye?" Lyra asked

That made Pinkie whisper loudly "It means Anon doesn't know what's actually going to happen at his party. So don't tell him"

...Goddammit Pinkie. You're hilarious as you are silly, but you suck at being subtle.

"I..er… ok..I guess" Lyra shrugged, she didn't even know what the secret was. Nor did Bon Bon.

You felt like you could manipulate the situation to figure it out. But you knew if you did, Pinkie would probably be pretty shattered. You didn't want that.

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!