• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,514 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 23

Right..don't yell. You didn't even really have a reason to be angry at him anyway. You were just pissed that you nearly died under a blanket and had to deal with an annoying filly.
You just stay silent for a moment and take in the scenery. The front of the manor was well kept with various flowers. Also the sun was still up. So no kind of time shenanigans this time.
"..ok..so, why are we here? I thought we were going to meet back at Fluttershy's"

"Well Anon, you simply took too long. Fluttershy felt tired after the shock at the school so I put her to bed, tucked her in, and got her some delicious and relaxing soup. Then I waited for you. So....what kept you?"

that made you a little nervous. You did indeed take a detour. But..it didn't take THAT long. If anything, the CMC's panic ate up some extra time.
"Well, erm. Applebloom and the others sort of overreacted to the whole Diamond Tiara thing. I had to spend some time calming them down so they wouldn't be upset."

Discord nodded, his eyes focused on something on your person "Yes, I suspected that might happen. But that doesn't explain..." He reaches over and plucks a pink strand of horse hair from your body "This...took a detour, did you?"

The jig was up. But you didn't panic. He shouldn't be getting onto you over such a small matter.
"Ok, I visited Pinkie Pie. And it went really well. You're not going to punish me over that too are you? That'd be overbearingly controlling,wouldn't it? I'm not actually some little kid you know"

Discord just nods again "You're right, you're not. I don't care that you visited Pinkie Pie"


"You aren't?"
Well that was peculiar. You expected something from him. Was he baiting you again?

Discord shook his head "Anon, I don't really care what kind of little mischief you get into. As long as it doesn't make me, Fluttershy, or yourself look bad. You could conquer Equestria for all I care.....actually...Don't do that...I'll do that...maybe...that's a back up idea of course, not as if I actually want to do that" He says as he loses his train of thought.

And that set you off as peculiar. You had some ideas of why Discord brought you to Equestria in the first place. Obviously the relationship was as said, symbiotic. And he has been using you for his own fun. But still, for him to actually care about image. That poked at your curiosity.

You looked him dead in the eye
"Discord, what's up with you?"

Discord seemed confused and offended by that statement "What's up with me? I don't know what you're talking about, you're the one running into doors. That's not what colts usually do. So you can get that out of your head right now mister! To think, I have a headsmasher for a son...the shame..."

you shake your head.
"No Discord. What I mean is. What's up with this whole "Dad,Son" deal. And I mean the WHOLE thing, the REAL reason you're doing all this. It can't be for fun or just for you. You would have been done by now.So come on, tell me"

Discord suddenly became serious in tone, he did not like that line of questioning at all. "Anon, where did you get the idea that you know exactly who I am?"

you arrogantly smirk. You had enough info. You were sure of that
"The show.your plans, While simple, always had some substance to them, even though they were..you know...petty as hell"

"Petty?! Anon please, far be it for me to understand how ponies go about their social lives that I myself can't take drastic measures to understand things such as "Friendship" and.." he starts rolling his arm as he tries to think of another word "things...that ponies do"

"And I'm not actually a dumb kid that's just going to sit idly by and just be a tool. We're in this together. Father and son, the least you can do is give me a damn freebie!"
You stomp your hoof, feeling more determined
"I'm tired of being made to feel like your puppet, Discord. Just tell me what this is really all about. We're essentially partners at this point. It'd help if I knew my motivation!"

Discord took that as a challenge, picked you up. And narrowed his eyes as he tried to stare you down. "Are you telling me what to do?"

You nod
"You bet I am! I'm not going to be afraid of you this time. Whatever you do, I'll know it's a trick."

Discord just rolls his eyes as he just opens a portal behind you and flicks you inside.

You yelp as you fall onto some ground, right on your head, and roll on the ground until you come to a stop.
"...ugh...geez..you didn't......"

Suddenly, you give a small yip as you notice a ton of thrashing tentacles around you. You can hear Discord's voice somewhere, but he was nowhere in sight.
"You should of dropped it Anon, but now it seems I'll have to teach you a lesson."

The tentacles started to slowly reach towards your hooves as you stepped back to avoid them. But, they were all around you. There was no escape. You had to hold your ground. You had to hope you were right.
"You aren't g-going to do anything Discord. This is too dark, even for you, it's right out of a bad fanfic!"

Suddenly, four tentacles whip at you and grab your hooves, spreading you for "the incoming"

"Well, I have taken a gander at your world, Anon. Whose to say I haven't picked up some new tricks from reading said "bad fanfics" "

You suddenly felt one of the tendrils rubbing up and down your back. But...that's all it was doing. Still, it felt like ice.

shit, SHIT. When the hell did he get into this kind of stuff anyway?...wait right..plunder seeds...STILL. There wasn't any kinks. He had to be bluffing. No way your psyche could handle this kind of trauma and not go noticed. Fluttershy would definitely notice and find out. Come on Anon. Use logic. Everyone would find out. He can't..he won't. Don't get scared! of all the times he's ever done this. It never ended badly.
"You aren't going to do anything! I know you won't!"

"Yes I will" He said in a chide voice

"You won't!"

"I will!" He started to sound annoyed now

"You won't!"

"I will!"

"No you won't"

"Yes...I...will" He was breathing harder, aggravated. you could hear it.


Suddenly, in a burst of flame, he appeared before you, gargantuan in size as he pointed at you with godly fury "YES...IIIIII..WILLLLLLLL, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!"

....shit...what do you do? that tentacle on your back could make a move at any moment. But you already got this far....in fact, you got far enough that he didn't seem to actually make any truly intrusive move..by his standards anyway. You considered yourself crazy for this. But if you went down, he'd go down with you after you tell someone. But that was worst case scenario.
You tried to think of more scenarios calmy coming from any brash action. And..well...no doubt Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie...or just some pone nurse..would tend to your penetrated ass...that could be nice...if you didn't die.
You play your hand.

You give him a stern look, the only part to break is your sweat.
"You won't"

Discord immediately started roaring and growling angrily as everything burst into flame "GGGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....ok you win"
Suddenly, the tentacles disappear as you plop onto your back. Suddenly, fear and panic of what just happened hits your brain, as well as relief as you get up and pant excessively.

Discord sighed as the area suddenly became an open plain as he began to speak of the truth of the matter.
"Anon, the truth is this: for awhile now, a lot of ponies view me as a monster, simply due to a little thing as "high treason". And although I do my best to make things right. Some ponies still...Anon..are you listening?"

You were still recovering from the realization you really could have been tentacle raped.

"Anon, when I'm explaining a tragedy that has befallen me. I expect you to listen" Discord said as he snapped his talons, warping you from your spot to right in front of him. hovering in mid air.

"G-give me a second, geez."

Discord just lifts his paw and gives you a gentle yet firm slap in the face and then smirks at you "better?"

You felt more knocked to your senses alright. But it still hurt, you rub your face where he hit you
"yes..geez, you didn't have to hit me. That's child abuse"

Discord rolled his eyes "What happened to "not being a child" and "Being mature" "

You then roll your eyes to him
"Whatever, just get on with it. You're lucky I can put up with you. a real colt probably would have died by now"

Discord chuckled at that "Now THAT'S rather dark"

it was, but you didn't want to think about it. You just wanted him to tell his story.
"Yeah well, It's true. Anyway, can you just get on with it?"

Discord laughs "My my, so demanding. Simply because the little colt thinks he trumped big bad Discord. That's cute. But fine, let me fulfill your request. To continue, some ponies still see me as a monster. Now I know what you're thinking. "Why would Discord care what other ponies think, he's the greatest being ever, he doesn't need to care about such things"...and you'd be right to think that. But alas, poor Fluttershy. When we are walking, or talking, or having a picnic; We will often hear harsh words from passerbys and she will get upset. Or even act in my defense. And then, they will scrutinize her. But the odd thing is that she won't let me act on her behalf and get sweet unbridled revenge. She says she knows that I'm good inside, and to not worry about what others say. But I can't Anon, for some reason these "feelings"...I don't what ponies call them but they just bubble up inside me. So I came up with the brilliant plan to have Twilight Sparkle teach me all about Equestrian law to better act like an upstanding citizen"

Geez..so that was it. It was for Fluttershy. And it's true. You knew Celestia forgave him. even invited him to the Gala and such. But something like getting trashed by a manic spirit and a centaur is not something easily forgotten. Especially by global basis. You felt bad for him, he actually had a good and non selfish reason.
"Discord...that's actually really sweet. I never would have guessed that"

"Of course not, I'm Discord, you're not supposed to figure out my plans. But now you know. Are you happy?"

You nod, and smile at him
"Yeah, that's pretty cool of you actually...but wait...what happened to the whole upstanding citizen bit. When we got here we just messed with Twilight."

"Puhhhhlleeeaaasseee Anon, I sat through seven straight hours of that without Twilight relenting for an instant. It's pure insanity! If I had to do all of that just to be an upstanding citizen, I'd go mad! So...I took the adoption option. As you've seen it's gained me some respect already. Soon, everypony will see me as just as capable of good as any other."

You smirk
"Princess Celestia certainly thought so"

Discord was unamused by those words "..yes..yes she did.."

You giggle, that was a pretty sweet visit. You then hold out your hoof to him.

Discord looked at it, confused "Hrn? What are you doing Anon?"

"just offering you a hoofshake, I really want to help you Discord. I think I can put up with your crap since it's for a good cause. Besides, you can't do this without my cooperation anyway."

Discord smiled , it seemed genuine, he seemed pretty happy that you just complied without questioning it further. He grabs your hoof and shakes it. "Anon, you are better than what you seem. I'm really beginning to like you,"

you smirk at him as you shake
"The same, Dad"

With that, Discord teleports you and himself back at the door. And looks down at you and fixes your mane a bit before facing the door "Are you ready Anon? Do you think you can handle this punishment?"

You nod
"No big deal, how long is it gonna last anyway?"

"About a week, maybe less. We'll see how it goes. I trust you, And i'll help you with whatever you need"

That's actually reassuring
"Thanks, just stick by me for now. I don't wanna screw up, this guy seems to respect you and all."

Discord knocks on the door "Of course Anon, I'll be right by your side."

After a bit. Filthy Rich himself..again. Opens the door, and looks down at you "Ahh, Mr.Anon. I've been expecting you and...hrn? Say now, where's your father?"

"Oh he's right..."

You look to your right...Discord is gone

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