• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 65

The morning comes again… A little too soon for you actually.

"WWAAGH!" You scream in terror as your bed tilts and flips upside down. Dropping you to the ground. Making you hit your head. "WAH..WHAT..HUH… w… crap..ngh..Agh! Geez… ugh, what happened? I swear, my head is going to either crack one day or get so used to this shit that it's gonna harden to steel..." You look around, then up. then down. Your bed was hanging on the ceiling. and the door floor was gone. "Gotta be morning… geez… talk about a wake up call."

You stretch, and grab your saddle bag. "Probably going to need this… hrn?" You notice a note hanging on the button buckle. Wasn't much to it, it just told you to put the dial to two. For Fluttershy's cottage. Hrn… If you remembered correctly. Fluttershy probably wanted to see you off… or something. Hrn...

You check the contents of your saddlebag. There was still the bits. The horn… It was in there too. Discord must have put it in. It also held the grappling hook… probably not something you should bring to school. You take it out and put it away.

You put on your saddle bag and stop to think. This was your first day of school for you. You hoped you wouldn't do anything stupid… You walk over to the portal door. and set the dial to two. Opening the way to Fluttershy's cottage.

You step through, ngh… your eyes, they need to adjust to the sun. Morning sunshine… oygh. You walk over to the front door and knock. It didn't take long for the door to open. Fluttershy opened the door slightly to peer through, and when she saw it was you. She gave you a sunny welcoming smile "Anon, good morning… oh..."

She noticed you look a little a mess. Probably from being plopped from bed. "What's wrong?"

Fluttershy walked over to you and started patting down your mane. "Nothing, it just looks like a hurricane blew through your mane. Here, let me get it for you."


Her hooves were soft and gentle. She did the best she could with your mane, but she was no Rarity. It didn't look too bad. Well, she said it didn't look bad. You couldn't exactly see it yourself. "I, guess that will do.." She says as she gave it one last inspection.

She gives your mane a little bit more of a pat down just in case. It still looked slightly messy. But that was the best you were going to get with a pat down.

You looked around, you didn't see Discord…

"So Anon, are you excited for your first day of school?" Fluttershy asked "I hope you aren't nervous about it. If you are, I'm willing to talk about it with you."

Dammittttt..sooo..cute. She was so nice and sweet. "I'm sort of excited Aunt Fluttershy."

"Sort of? Is something the matter?"

Ahh… you didn't mean to answer in that way. You were still waking up. You didn't want to give any answers that'd worry her. "W-well, I mean. All those classmates I'm gonna have… and I..barely know any of them, it's kind of scary"

That seemed like an answer a kid would give, right? Fluttershy smiled at you and gave you a hug "Don't worry Anon, you know you'll have Applebloom and the others there with you. They won't let anything bad happen to you. So no need to be scared , ok?"

You nod, you can work with that. "Ok… I'll do my best Aunt Fluttershy"

Fluttershy gave you a gentle pat "That's all anypony could ever ask for."

Mnnn… you felt a little bad acting instead of being yourself in front of her. You wanted her to know a little more about the real you. Ahh… maybe at some point. You thought, well… how angry could she get if she ever knew the truth? Hmm..

"Where's Dad?"

"Oh, he'll be here soon. He said he had a surprise. I can't wait to see what it is!"

"He didn't tell you?"

Fluttershy shook her head "No, he wanted it to be a surprise for the both of us." Fluttershy hovered up a bit and excitingly clapped her hooves "I can't wait to see what it is, I've never seen Discord so eager to surprise anypony before with a gift! I bet it'll be very nice!"

Heh… you had nothing to worry about. He wouldn't dare do a diabolical surprise to you AND Fluttershy… namely for her. But then… what could it be?

"In the meantime, since he was busy. I made you some breakfast. It's not much, but I hope you'll like it." Fluttershy hovered over to a table. and there sitting was a bowl. In the bowl was crushed apples, oats, plants, hay… all crushed and mixed with some milk. Fluttershy looked over to you, she hoped you'd like it "I put in a spoonful of sugar to make it sweet. I hope you enjoy it Anon."

Even if you don't… you could never do anything to break her heart. Mostly due to the crushing guilt. And Discord possibly crushing you.

You sit down and look at it. Not wanting to be rude. You lift the bowl with your hooves, and slowly dig in. You know you've seen them eat from the bowl like this in the show… right? You couldn't remember.

The food itself. Sadly, was not as good as you would have hoped. It may have been a healthy breakfast. But it didn't have the zazz of Discord's nutritionally warped meals. Still, you put on a smile, and finish it quickly. and wipe your mouth. "Thanks Aunt Fluttershy, this was pretty good"

Fluttershy smiled with glee "I'm so glad you liked it Anon. Not only is it good, but it's good for you and will give you the energy you need to start the day"

You stand, and just give her a hug. You just felt a compulsion. She was so caring. Perhaps this urge was also brought about the way she cuddled to sleep with you. She made you feel like a loved child better than any other pony in Equestria.

"Thanks Aunt Fluttershy, you… you're the best."

Fluttershy wasn't expecting a hug, but she hugs you all the same. Fluttershy was still amazed by your overall attitude and demeanor. Even out of the hospital and back with Discord. You still seemed like a loving and eager child. She couldn't imagine what Discord must be doing, but whatever it was. She was sure he was doing an amazing job. "Ohh Anon, I just want you to be happy and healthy. If Discord is willing to be serious about being a father… then I'm going to be serious about being your aunt. And a aunt does their best for their nephew."

Then it hit her, she forgot something "Oh, Anon, can you wait right here a minute? I have your school supplies in my room. I got you pencils and paper and a ruler, a notebook. And a lunchbox!"

Aww… wait what? You forgot that you needed extra supplies. Huh... You just nod "Ok, I'll wait right here." And so you wait...

You could hear her having some trouble finding them… and then you hear a tapping behind you.

You turn around… no… it was Angel… and he was staring at you. You almost forgot about this. It's actually been a pretty good amount of time inbetween a ton of shenanigans since you've seen the little fuzzball. "Uhhh… heya… Angel… What's up?"

Not like he could say anything. But he brought out from behind him, a pencil, and some paper… welp… that’s where those went. "Uhh, whatcha doin with those buddy?"

Angel started drawing on the paper with the pencil. He drew a crude drawing of you, stopped, and showed it to you.

"Is that supposed to be me?"

Angel nodded, then he drew a picture of Fluttershy. And as he continued. he drew a line from your hoof to her flank. What… was he implying… You silently watch as he points to you, then her, and then proceeds to draw an X on you. Then he points out the window.
There… was a bear, A FUCKING BEAR. and he was looking at you rather threateningly as he punched his paw into his other paw.

Holy shit… He meant fucking business. "You really think I'd do that?"

Angel nodded at you

You wanted to grab the little piece of shit and toss him to the wall. But you probably only felt that way because at this point you didn't know what you'd do with yourself if you ever did anything lewd to Fluttershy… not to her. She was like a mother to you.

You kept your voice low as you began to speak. "I would never do that… listen. I know we haven't seen each other in awhile. And I don't know where you got the idea that I'm some sexual deviant. But I'm not..."

Angel stares at you, tapping his foot. He didn't believe you.

Fuck, Angel knew people… er… animals,scary animals. Not wanting to take a beating from said animals. You try to explain to him why you wouldn't. It's better you just be truthful with him at a point.

"Ok… I wouldn't do anything to Fluttershy. Look, ok, look. I do get urges… but for other ponies. I'm a guy, come on. You're a rabbit, you should know that kind of thing."

Angel taps his chin for a moment, then looks back at you with a defensive gaze. Ugh… if only you could talk with him. You could maybe use the horn, maybe. Could it do that? But you've had no practice with it. And given your first use… all it could be is just some giant magic cannon.

"Look, Angel. Fluttershy treats me almost like I'm her son. I could never… ever do that to her. Please believe me. Look, if you want the truth, fine. If I had the chance. I'd do lewd things with Twilight for all I care... But never to Fluttershy. Is that good enough? Can we please be friends? Or you just not threaten me with a bear?"

You really didn't want to tangle with a bear. Angel was already more terrifying than even Bugqueen and Discord combined… Christ.

Angel stared deeply into your eyes. he glared at you, as if he was studying you. He looked back at the window, and waved his paw at the bear. The bear nodded, and walked off. as if nothing had occurred… Oh geez..

"So, you believe me?"

Angel nodded, but then he pointed at the Fluttershy drawing, then slid his paw over to yours, and gave it a stomp. A warning… You gulped… Best not to fuck with this rabbit.

Shortly after, Fluttershy emerges from her room,Carrying everything but the pencil and paper,and the moment she does, Angel kicks the paper with the drawings behind him.

"I'm sorry Anon, I think I misplaced your pencil and… oh..." She sees Angel holding a pencil, he lifts it up high as he makes a happy face as if he was being helpful. "Oh… I guess I did misplace them. Thank you Angel for finding Anon's things.What would I do without you?"

Little tricky bastard. Angel smiled at her and made little noises as he hopped over to her to get a petting. "Oh, you two are friends now? That's so good! I knew if you both just gave eachother a chance that you'd be friends… and in such a short amount of time too. What did you two talk about?"

So naive… ngh… what could you even talk about with a rabbit who couldn't actually talk. Angel made some gestures and expressions, Fluttershy nodded with each one. then closed her eyes and beamed a big smile "Oh my, I didn't know you both had in an interest in carrots. If I had known that, I would have added a little in Anon's breakfast."

Woo… What a little mastermind that rabbit was. Definitely not to be taken lightly unless you had some magic of your own. Fluttershy carefully put the rest of the items on the table. "Here you go Anon, with these you'll be ready for anything!"

You take a moment to compose yourself, then nod to Fluttershy "Yeah… Thanks Aunt Fluttershy. Uhh, thanks Angel, for finding the paper and pencil." Angel did a bow, then lifted his head high enough to give you a glare that suggested he'd be watching you. Then hopped off. Ok… Crisis averted

Fluttershy went to her window. She seemed to be getting worried. "I hope Discord hurries soon. I don't want to have to leave without him. We should both be here to walk you to school, together."

You look over to her, she was really committed. She just stared out the window for him like a lost lover. You wondered if she had a thing for him, Since Discord swears up and down that he doesn't have a thing for her. But now wasn't the time to ask. "I'm sure he'll get here in time. I mean, he's gotta be busy with something. He could just teleport if he wanted to, right?"

Fluttershy nodded… you were right, he could. But then... "I hope he didn't get into any trouble then, oh no… what if he got into trouble?!" Now she was really worried. Dammit, you didn't mean to worry her.

"N-nah, come on. It's the morning. What trouble could he get into? Maybe he got stopped on the street by, I dunno, Pinkie Pie. And is having a chat with her… or something.."

Fluttershy wondered "I, suppose that could happen. But then, I hope Discord wouldn't lose track of time, but, still… oohhhh… I just hope he gets here soon."

Hrn..best to not say anything more on it. It only seemed to worry her more. It seemed this meant a lot to her than it did you and possibly Discord. Then she started pacing, keeping her eye on the clock. "Ohhh… we might have to be getting ready to go if he doesn't show up… come on Discord..."

You started putting the things in your saddle bag just in case… seriously… where the hell was he? "Please don't worry Aunt Fluttershy, I'm sure he's, I dunno, maybe he's doing it on purpose, to make the surprise… more of a surprise?"

"But if he doesn't hurry soon, then we won't have time for the surprise… Discord… please hurry, please" Fluttershy was holding on to the shred of hope. He wouldn't do this just not to show up...right?

You went to look out the window, see what it looked like outside… and… oh… crap. "A-aunt Fluttershy… u-uhh… You need to see this.."

Fluttershy stopped her pacing, curious as to what you could have saw that could have spooked you. "What is it… oh my..."

It was Discord, on a carriage being pulled by invisible… ponies? And behind him was… a huge crate. What the…

"What do you think… what do you think that is?"

"I don't know..." Fluttershy opened her window and called to the approaching Draconequus. albeit, not very loudly "Discord!"

Discord looked over to her and waved as he stopped right next to her little bridge. and started to float over the huge crate over to the front door. This thing was massive. What the hell could it be?

Fluttershy rushed over to her front door and opened it as Discord stood outside, using his talons to drill the screws out of the crate. Fluttershy was slightly angry that he took so long, making a possibility that you could be late. But that crate… it caught her interest. As it did you as you followed behind her.

"Discord, what took you so long?" She asked as she eyed the crate

Discord finished unscrewing the last of the crate's screws, then looked at his talon as it he spun it a few more times, making a "Whirr" noise. "I do apologize Fluttershy, I had a little trouble getting the colors right on this thing. I never thought painting would be so difficult."

"You were painting?" Fluttershy was even more curious as her attention went towards the crate "Is this the surprise? It's very big.."

Discord nodded "It is! and trust me Fluttershy. It's going to be amazing! Oh, Anon, how are you this fine morning?"

You give him a small wave. "Pretty good..." Suddenly, a thought went into your head. You were curious, you couldn't ask Fluttershy how she felt about Discord. But maybe, you could see it. Or not… either way. "You know you made Aunt Fluttershy worried, right?"

Discord, upon hearing those words, seemed to have grown nervous. "I did? Fluttershy, whatever were you worried about? Did you think I wouldn't arrive?"

Fluttershy didn't know how to react. She didn't want to be a problem. And you just.. did that "Kind of… you were taking a long time… I was getting worried"

"Worried? I worried you? But it's only..." Discord looked at a watch around his arm "Oh dear..." Discord then looked to Fluttershy, she was frowning, nervous. He finally realized that he did worry and scare Fluttershy. "I didn't realize… hrnnn, Fluttershy, you forgive me don't you? It was an honest mistake… My watch stopped."

Fluttershy moved closer to him, and looked at his watch, then at him "Did it really stop?"

Discord nodded "Honest… see?" Discord pointed to it. "It runs purely on chaotic energy… I suppose when I was working on the surprise that it just… stopped."

A watch that ran on chaos? Interesting. Even more interesting that it'd just stop due to him working on something in an orderly fashion… or he was just bullshitting. Either way, Fluttershy bought it.

Fluttershy gave Discord a gentle hug "Then it's ok, you didn't know you'd be late. And just looking at this crate… I'm sure the surprise you have will be wonderful!" And even if it wasn't, as long as there wasn't a monster. Fluttershy would still be happy with it. It's the thought that counts, at least to her.

Discord at first didn't seem to know what to do. But then, he slowly wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back, but only for a moment before letting her go. "I am sorry Fluttershy, I'll be more mindful next time."

Fluttershy gave him a smile, then noticed he was still frowning "Oh… D-discord, please don't be sad. It's supposed to be a happy day."

Discord grabbed his mouth and literally flipped it "Sad… who's sad? I just needed to make an adjustment" Discord said with a nervous chuckle. It was enough to make Fluttershy laugh at least.

That was a cute moment, but, it went about as much as you should have thought it would. Still cute though… now, that crate. You went over to the crate and tapped it… what was in it?

"Now now Anon, don't go peeking inside. I want you and Fluttershy to see what's inside at the same time!"

Fluttershy looked over to you and agreed with Discord "That's right Anon, come on, you can sit next to me while Discord opens the crate" She sat down in front of the crate and looked to you to sit with her.

"Sorry, I just got a little curious" You sit next to Fluttershy as Discord moves over to the crate.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts, we are here today to celebrate Anon's first day of school… or rather the moment before he goes to school… it's very possible that his first actual day of school can be quite horrible"

Fluttershy gave Discord a little bit of a stink eye "Discord..."

Discord cleared his throat, a little nervous. "Y-yes, right… ahrm… but, as I was saying. Since the day has not started. We are actually here… as a family to see my son, Anon. Off to his first day of school. As a family… and as a family, I thought we should have something to immortalize the moment… But since freezing time is apparently a horrible thing to do… We will have to instead make due" Discord kicks the crate "WITH THIS!"

The crate pops open. And, woah… inside..it..it was the family statue he made before… perfectly painted, and even bigger than before. It looked..amazing. Better than when you saw it from before.

"Woah… that's..."

Fluttershy finished your sentence "....amazing"

"Isn't it?" Discord said as he moved it right at the side of the cottage. "It is a monument , it represents unity, love, family… and I'm just going to stop right there because I can feel my stomach churn"

Fluttershy got up, to inspect the statue, it looked so, lifelike. She almost thought she could have a conversation with herself. "Discord, I don't know what to say. This… this was really a nice surprise." She took a moment to absorb the scene. "We look like a real family. You'd think I was more of a mother than an aunt… it's really sweet."

You took a closer look yourself. It was perfect. Just like when you saw it before. But bigger, and in color. It wasn't a trap, mean spirited… nothing. If there was a secondary plot, you couldn't see it in this. He genuinely did this as a show of family affection. "Yeah Dad. I… I dunno what to say."

"You needn't say anything Anon, your awe is enough for me to see that you were both surprised by my gift and truly appreciative of it. It is quite something, isn't it?"

Fluttershy nodded "It really is, I could sit here and look at it all day… all..day..SCHOOL DAY..OH NO OH NO! WE HAVE TO GET GOING!"
Fluttershy panicked "How could I lose track of time like that!"

Oh geez, she just suddenly flipped out "H-hey, Aunt Fluttershy, it'll be ok if I'm a little late, right?"

Fluttershy inspected you and noticed you didn't even have your saddlebag on you. you left it on the table when you were putting in the supplies. "no! no it is not ok if you are late for your first day of school! You don't even have your saddle bag on you… wait here, I'll get it. Discord, you're ready to go right?"

Discord nodded "But of course. Please calm down Fluttershy, we'll make it."

"Only if we hurry! I'll be right back!" Fluttershy rushed off inside to grab the saddle bag.

"..yikes....this means a lot to her huh?"

Discord nodded "It does, she's really taken the whole aunt thing seriously. And I don't wish to disappoint her. I'm so glad she liked the surprise… and I think it looks quite beautiful next to the cottage… speaking of beautiful." Discord whips up some sort of small photo like object in his talons "I have an extra gift for you Anon."

Extra gift? "What is it?"

Discord shows it to you… oh no way. "Oh crap! Hey, that's the… HAHA, look at her! She doesn't even know what's going on!" It was the photo Discord took of you,him, and Chrysalis. It was perfect. While you both had on dumb smiles, she just looked dumbstruck.

"One of our finer moments to be sure. I think I'll make a scrapbook for when we have outings like this. So then..." Discord makes the photo vanish "Right into your saddle bag with it, I'll let you decide what to do with it. And don't worry if you lose it. I made enough copies to fill her entire hive to the brim."

Wait. "You didn't actually flood her hive with photos did you? She's already pretty pissed as is"

"Of course not, that'd be a waste of good photos. I am thinking of mailing her a copy though.. It's not fair that we have a copy and she doesn't."

Considering she already swore revenge on the both of you. That might not be a good idea. "Uhhh… can we hold off on that until we're sure that she can't actually fuck up anything? We did sort of piss her off in her own home. We literally stirred the hornet's nest."

Discord scoffed "You can be so boring sometimes. What is she going to do? send her whole hive at our home? That might not be a bad idea actually… I could use new furniture.."

"Look, let's just not do it ok? I'd rather we just not press our luck."

"Fine… spoiled sport."

Fluttershy comes rushing back out of the house. Saddlebag in her mouth. She quickly attaches it to you. She was in quite the rush "Ok, let's go, let's go! We have to hurrrrryyy!"

"W-woah… O-ok, I mean… Is it even close to the bell actually ringing yet? because we can still teleport."

Discord shrugged "Don't ask me, my watch stoppe-oh!"

Fluttershy was alternating pushing both you and Discord "No time to talk, we have to get to the Schoolhouse!"

"F-fluttershy, I could just teleport us there. You know, I do have th-oooh!" Discord couldn't finish his sentence as Fluttershy became quite pushy

Fluttershy wouldn't relent. "NO! We can't teleport. It's supposed to be a lovely family walk to the schoolhouse to see Anon off. We have to walk there!"

Oh geez, christ. Whatever, do what the lady says. And so you three walk to the schoolhouse, or rather march. Fluttershy being frantic in not wanting you to be late. You didn't want to argue. And Discord at this point went along for the ride.

As you walked, you could see other parents with their children ahead. Some children just by themselves as they headed to the schoolhouse. You didn't see the CMC. They were probably already there maybe? Applebloom probably was… she was probably used to waking up so early. And quite frankly. you didn't mind this. It was otherwise a good morning. Sans the rabbit. And seeing Fluttershy flustered about you not missing a minute was pretty cute. She was focusing on the walk so much she wasn't even doing much talking.

Eventually, the three of you reached the schoolhouse. You took notice that nobody seemed to have a problem Discord was out and about. It seemed his plan was working more and more everyday.

At some point. the three of you stopped. Fluttershy took a huge breath and wiped her brow with her hoof "We made it just in time." She then looked at you, and smiled "Anon… you have the most wonderful first day of school, ok? I know you're going to have a very very great day"

You nod to her, of course you were. You had this. "I will Aunt Fluttershy, I promise"

Fluttershy went up to you and grasped you for a hug "And if anypony bullies you, just let me know, I'll give their parents such a stern talking too… Hmph"

You wanted to laugh at that… but you didn't want to disrespect Fluttershy. She most likely was serious about that.

Discord then took his turn and went on his knee as he put his paw on your right foreleg. "Anon, I know I haven't been the best father. But I always do my best to raise you to the best of my abilities. You are my world, my sun, my moon. I cherish everyday that we spend together and I am so proud that you are taking the next step in your life. I know you aren't my birth son, but I hope you see me as if I was your real father anyway. And that through thick or thin. That you feel comfortable around me and know that if you ever have a problem, that you can come to me about it, do you understand Anon?"

The fuck? Fluttershy however, bought it, and started crying "D-Discord..that was...that was so beautiful.."

"Do yo-ACK!" Discord stops you from even forming a sentence by hugging you hard.

"I love you Anon! Please have a good day, alright!"

"Gngmmmnngghh!" You choked out

Discord let's you go, faking his surprise "Oh, sorry Anon… I got a little… emotional there."

R-right, geez… his grip. You take a moment to look over to Fluttershy, who found the entire moment beautiful. She was really teary eyed from it. Ugh… you can't spoil it by calling Discord out on his bullshit. And even then, at this point. There had to be some semblance of truth in those words… right? "I love you too Dad… I'm gonna miss the both of you"

Fluttershy started sobbing "Ohhh! I didn't know this would be so sad!"

Oh geez… She was breaking your heart. You go in for another hug "It, it'll be ok Aunt Fluttershy, It's just school."

"I-I know, it's just, I didn't think this moment would be so..." She started to crack

"Hrn, well Fluttershy. We could always spend the morning together and wait for Anon. Time will just fly by. We could have a picnic, or go ice skating! How does that sound?" Discord said, you noticed that for a moment. He actually had an expression of either guilt or sorrow of Fluttershy's obvious plight.

"I, I guess it'll be alright. And we'll be right here for when Anon gets out of school, right? We'll be here to pick him up?" Fluttershy asked

"Of course we will. We won't be late for even a second."

"Ok… I d-don't mind then. We have been missing some time together. Ok… I d-don't mind at all. Anon… you have a good day at school… ok?" Fluttershy again, gives you one quick hug. She was really trying to convince herself that she could let you go on your own. Being sent to the hospital must have made her worry about you being on your lonesome still. Even when you'd have a teacher watching you.

You nod "Ok… seeya Aunt Fluttershy, Seeya Dad… I'm off" And with that, you walked quickly over to the schoolhouse. Waving to Fluttershy and Discord. It was time for a whole new world to open up… and hopefully not slam you in the face.

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