• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 93

Both you and Discord appear in an open field. It had a few hills. The town was way over yonder, and the everfree in the opposite direction. You didn't see Fluttershy anywhere though. "Where's Fluttershy?"

Discord was patting a picnic basket that had appeared around his arm during the teleportation. "Just over the hill Anon, I thought I'd give you just a little more time to calm yourself and assess the situation."

Assess? "Discord, I'm doing my best. But you're fucking insane for not dealing with Chrysalis. But… I can only assume you aren't going to let her kill me… right?"

Discord nodded "If it'll calm you down then I'll give you my..." Discord suddenly started hacking and coughing. You didn't worry or get surprised. You knew he was faking. Discord then puked up a giant word. A literal word that said "Word"

He then patted his chest, coughing up a period. Then smirked at you. "There you are. I trust that will suffice?"

Egh, it was covered in goop and saliva. "Eh, I'm good. But let's get serious. What if somebody were to find out?"

"Nopony will find out. And this extends for when she steps out on her own as well."

"What? Are you going to force her into one form?"

Discord nodded "Now you're catching on, I haven't decided what form to force upon her yet. Another aunt would just raise questions. I was thinking, oh say, long lost sister?"

You nearly gag at that "Are you serious? She'd never be able to play that straight, and besides. There's the whole orphan thing. Where would she have come from?"

"Easy, a street urchin from Manehatten, She has a locket with her and your face on it from younger days. Upon seeing your face on some newspaper. She worked her way to Ponyville to meet you." Discord started to tear up "It's so beautiful"

You raise an eyebrow at him. "That's so stupid. Don't you think the ponies would get suspicious when she inevitably just messes with me?"

"You mean like a sister?"

Doh… ok, what about.. "Ok, but don't you think it'll be odd when she separates from me to go about her own business. Which may or may not be evil?"

"You mean… like a sister?"

You grumble. "Okkkkk, what about when she goes super evil, and tries to enact a plan to try to rule over Equestria? How about that smart guy?"

Discord chuckled "Two words, Anon: Nightmare Moon..I mean that in a sibling sense"

"Agghh… ok, dammit fine. You got me." You weren't going to win this. He had you at every turn.. "Fine… whatever. At least having a picnic with Fluttershy will cheer me up."

Discord frowned "Oh what? You don't like being around your dear ole dad?"

You sigh. "Depends on when "dear ole Dad" isn't being crazy in the coconut. I'm already trying to cheer up here. Only way I think that'd really do it is if you got a taste of your own medicine. Whatever that may be"

Discord laughed "Oh Anon, that's cute. But I highly doubt that's going to happen. No, we're just going to have a picnic. And then you can either return home to get used to your new nanny or you can just roam free and delay the inevitable fun back at home."

You sigh. "I swear there's some sort of wavelength with you, when it's high you act pretty cool, then when it dips like this you act like a total assclown. I'm just going to up and say it right now, clear as day. One day I'm going to really enjoy you getting utterly assblasted at something. And I'm just going to ride it to the end."

"Oh don't be a spoiled sport Anon. I've lived for centuries upon centuries. I need to find ways to have fun, no matter what it is. As for you, you haven't even lived a quarter of my life, you just don't understand what it's like to be me. Oh, and about being "Assblasted". Don't count on it. You may see me get irritated. But I've been learning Anon, oh yes. Having you around has taught me some things that I doubt I'd ever had learned on my own. Out of all the timelines, I'm probably the best Discord there is"

Right. "Let's just go, I don't want to keep Fluttershy waiting"

"Yes, let's. Smiles Anon, smiles. Don't want to disappoint Fluttershy now, do we?"

You didn't. Unlike inconsistent as fuck Discord. Fluttershy could always be counted on for cuddles, love, and nuzzles. Man it's a good thing Chrysalis didn't try becoming Fluttershy. She might have gotten you with that one.

You both step over the hill, right behind the decline of the hill was a few trees, a picnic cloth set up in the shade of one the bigger trees. Aside from the picnic basket Discord had, it seemed Fluttershy had brought one of her own. But wait. There was more than one pony in the area.

And it wasn't one of the mane 6.

It was....

Discord's eyes immediately bulged when he saw her. His arms shaking. It was Treehugger, just out of the fucking blue. "No, wait. When?! When did she get here?! I didn't plan for this!"

You look up at Discord, it was clear he meant for this to be a party of three. He, nor you was expecting a side pone. And he didn't look pleased at all about it. You guessed despite learning a lesson back at the gala, that he still wasn't overall fond of her presence. And that was good enough for you.

You chuckle at him. "Smiles Discord, Smiles. You don't want to disappoint Fluttershy do you? Look, she's waving at us to come on over."

She was, she spotted the both of you coming down the hill and smiled and waved at the both of you. And now, you were in a much better mood. You trotted over to Fluttershy with a friendly yet arrogant smile as Discord hovered over at a slow pace, with a dismal expression on his face.

"Good Afternoon Anon! Are you ready for a relaxing and yummy picnic?" Fluttershy said, with naive optimism. Naive to the situation anyway.

"Hey Aunt Fluttershy! Yep, I am!" You go in and nuzzle under her neck. You always genuinely enjoyed this. Enjoyed her company. And compiled onto what you were now expecting. This was going to really be a good picnic.

As you and Fluttershy nuzzled, she had a look over to Discord, and noticed he was looking… Well, he didn't look down or angry. He just looked stoic. In truth he was actually trying to smile. "Discord, are you alright?"

"Hmmm? Whatever do you mean Fluttershy?"

"Well, you look um… Well, you don't look happy." Fluttershy began to get a little worried. She was hoping it wasn't because of Treehugger.

"I don't look? Oh!" Discord slapped his forehead "Pardon me, I must have some rusty bones. I have lived for quite some time you know!" Discord put down his picnic basket, and made an oil can appear in his talons as he squeezed some oil into his mouth, adjusted his jaw, and then made a wide toothy grin. "There we are! good as new"

He was desperately trying not to look angry or upset. Oh, he remembered that lesson alright. But he was being internally selfish at the moment.

"Oh, ohhh" Fluttershy giggled "That's a clever joke Discord, I almost thought you were disappointed that Treehugger was here."

Treehugger was laying on the picnic blanket, she was directly looking up into the skies and clouds.

Discord gritted his teeth, still smiling "Why would I be upset that a non family member would be at our family picnic? Oh no no, I'm… quite… alright..."

Fluttershy moved over to Discord and gave him a gentle nuzzle "I'm glad to hear that Discord."

Treehugger, her attention shifting to what was going on around her instead of it being in the clouds, stands up and looks to all three of you with a dreamy smile "Heeeey,what's up." She then slowly stepped over to the three of you with a dumb smile on her face "Fluttershy, wooooah hey, I didn't know you had a weird dragon as a husband, righteous"

You held in a snicker as you see Discord's eye twitch wildly as Fluttershy giggles. Fluttershy looks over to Treehugger and corrects her "Actually Treehugger, I'm an Aunt. To little Anon here, who is Discord's adoptive son."

Treehugger looked over to Discord, and tilted her head as she focused hard on him "Oh, hmmm. I swear I've met this guy before, it must have been another weird dragon though. The one I remember was really out of sync with his center. It was far out."

Discord tried really hard to stay calm "Ms.Treehugger… I am the Draconequus you're referring as "out of sync". We've met twice, remember?"

Treehugger was tapping her chin, trying to, but couldn't make a connection. "No, I could have sworn it was like, another draconequus or something. You're kind of different from him, I think. That other guy was just really angry, he needed to mellow out"

Discord started shaking his paw and talons, wanting to strangle her. another draconequus? ANOTHER DRACONEQUUS?! There could only EVER be one, and mellow out?! He was the most mellow there EVER WAS. "A-allow me to correct you… T-Treehugger. But I'm the only Draconequus there is."

"Really?" She wondered

Discord nearly growled "Yes, really."

Treehugger looked at him, and then smiled. "Cool"

Cool? That was it? Discord looked like he was expecting more. Perhaps an apology, or acknowledgement. But nope, all he got was a "Cool" as Treehugger turned to you. "So this is your nephew Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy couldn't put her hoof on it, but she started to think Discord was upset about something, But her attention get's taken by Treehugger "Oh! Oh yes, this is Anon. Don't let his cuteness fool you, he's very very smart for a colt his age."

You smirk, not only at Discord having a clearly obvious internal spaz, but Fluttershy giving you praise. Time to put on that ole Anon charm. "Hello miss Treehugger, I'm Anon. It's nice to meet you."

Treehugger's smile was different from other ponies, it felt like this was her natural expression, you wondered if it was her personality or if she was stoned. "Yo dude, it's cool to meet you too. And woah..." Suddenly Treehugger looked like she was in an odd trance "Wooooah, wicked, Fluttershy, Disorder. Do you feel this? Anon's got some weird vibe going"

"Disorder? That's not my name! It's Discord. Diiiis-cooord. You've alrea-" Discord noticed no one was paying attention to him, Fluttershy intrigued on what Treehugger meant by "weird vibe".

"Weird vibe? I uhh… what do you mean?" You were curious too.

"Well, like, it's really weird. I've traveled all over the place. And like, I've been around a lot of ponies. So I got this whole, feeling thing when it comes to pony auras and chi and stuff. And I don't feel a pony aura coming from you, it's really really weird, totally off the wall dude, like, gnarly. It's like you're something totally different"

......wut? There's no fucking way. She can't actually feel and see auras and chi and shit. Could she?

Fluttershy was confused "What do you mean Treehugger? He looks like a pony to me."

"Y-yeah, I've always been a pony"

Treehugger stood silent, unmoving for a second, then shrugged "Oh, I guess that makes sense. Oh hey, are we gonna eat now? I'm totally hungry."

"Oh yes, that sounds like a great idea! I'll get the paper plates and sandwiches ready!" Fluttershy seemed pretty excited to eat and strike up some conversation.

The three of you now face Discord, who was looking pretty ticked, then he started to act hurt. "Well good, are you all going to pay attention an-"

All three of you then turn again towards Fluttershy's picnic basket, stopping Discord midword. You and Treehugger sit beside it as Fluttershy pulls out plates for you, then her, then... She looks up at Discord with a paper plate in her mouth. She puts it down next to her, then looks back at Discord. "Discord? Aren't you going to sit with us?"

You look back at him as well. You didn't ignore him at all, you were just doing it on purpose at this point. You give him a smug smile. He couldn't do shit to you, not in front of Fluttershy. They completely ignored what he was about to say. Discord sighed, and hovered over to Fluttershy and sat down next to her, magically sliding his basket towards himself. He was looking pretty grumpy.

Fluttershy, happy with the arrangements. Opens the basket and starts pulling out bread and various jams and stuff to go inbetween the bread. Nothing a human would eat. Grass, flower, hay. But that was the norm.

"What does everypony want in their sandwiches?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'll take whatever you want to make me Aunt Fluttershy. I always enjoy what you make."

Fluttershy giggled. "Well, I do have some cucumbers too. Would you mind eating what your father and I will be eating?" She thought it'd be cute if the family was all eating cucumber sandwiches.

You nodded as you watched Discord pull out his sub and put in his… odd condiments into it. You wonder why he brought a basket at all if Fluttershy was going to feed him too. But just as you thought it, Fluttershy had began making him his sandwich to go along with his sub sandwich. And as she made your sandwich, she looked over to Treehugger. "What would you like on your sandwich Treehugger?"

Treehugger instantly knew what she wanted "Can I get a hay sandwich, I feel that hay is one of the basic building blocks of eating, it balances the flows of the mind and body, it's totally good for you"

Fluttershy didn't quite understand what she meant, but she complied with her request, up until Discord spoke up. "Umm, Fluttershy, if you don't mind me asking.Why is Treehugger here?"

Fluttershy stopped and looked up at Discord, a little concerned with the question "Oh, well, she actually just showed up out of the blue. We send letters to eachother, just like you and me, and when I told her about our family. She thought it was ummm...how did you put it Treehugger?"

Treehugger was rubbing the fabric of the picnic blanket, intrigued by it "Righteous”

"Right, she said it was righteous. And thought about visiting to see us all. And, then she just showed up while you went to get Anon. It was really a surprise. But that's ok, I think everypony should be able to enjoy a wonderful and friendly picnic."

You nod, agreeing with Fluttershy. "I think Aunt Fluttershy is right. Who doesn't enjoy good food, and good company. GOOD company… right Dad?"

"Yeah like, I'm getting all kinds of good vibes from everypony. Sorta, I feel.." She looks over to Discord "like you're kinda not on the same balance we're on. It's wigging me out a little."

"I am perfectly "balanced". You can't tell me that I'm not. I'm having a great old time, with my sandwiches." Discord takes his cucumber sandwich first and sucks it in like a vacuum, swallowing it whole. He then looked at Treehugger angrily "See, that was fun. I'm having fun"

"Uhhh, Dad, you may want to chill out, dude" You say like a stoner would

Treehugger had a laugh at that "Woah hey, now I'm like a mom . Anon is talking like I am and I've only known him for like, five minutes. Radical."

Fluttershy, unaware of Discord's anger, giggles at that as well. Up until Discord turns his attention to you, furious.

Which was fine, you were baiting him.at this point. This was perfect. You were calm. You were able to think better. And seeing Fluttershy. You knew even if he wanted to get you back. He could never do anything too extreme. And as you thought about it, you really could just go to Fluttershy and whine he's being a "big meanie". She'd help you out for sure.

"Who do you think you are talking like that to me! Hmm?!" Discord has lost his cool.

"DISCORD!" Fluttershy gasped, she was surprised by Discord's reaction. Even you were, given his close proximity to Fluttershy. You expected him to try to play it off again. "Discord! Why are you acting this way? I hope it's not because Treehugger, who you know is my friend, is here. "

Discord cringed hard, he didn't even think of the consequences of his actions. As usual. "F-fluttershy. Can't you see that they started it? Treehugger and her attention grabbing personality and Anon with his obvious need to try to bring me down! It's all a trick!"

Treehugger was looking at a butterfly that was passing by, having lost her attention to the situation. Fluttershy then looks at you. You frown, and shake, and lower your head to your front hooves. You were faking acting frightened "D-dad? Why are you mad at me?"

Fluttershy was now the one that was angry, pointing at you as she stared down at Discord. And this was almost "The Stare" levels this time. "Does that look like your son is trying to bring you down Discord? You're scaring him! I certainly hope this isn't the way you actually treat him when I'm not around"

Discord gulped "B-but Fluttershy, he's" Discord stops himself, even he didn't dare to reveal any actual facts about the situation.

"He's what? Yes Discord, I can see that Anon is frightened! Mnnn." Fluttershy flew over to you and held you close, hugging and cuddling you. "It's alright Anon, it'll be ok. shhh"

You nuzzled and cuddled into her as she looked at Discord angrily "Discord, you need to apologize, right now!"

"Fluttershy" Discord was looking pretty damned worried. "C-come on, it was… it was just a slip of mind" Discord put on a smile "See, I'm much better now."

Fluttershy held you close, she felt he was not only lying, but being selfish, it wasn't about him. She stared silently at him as she held you closer, brushing your head with her leg.

Discord put his paw out, wanting to say something. But when he opened his mouth. Nothing came out. He realized he couldn't say anything. Not without risking pissing off Fluttershy and ruining the picnic.

They both stared into eachothers eyes. Discord grimaced, he actually grew frightened. He didn't want to screw things up too badly. You got him, you got him ridiculously hard. Discord lowered his head, completely in shame. He could never convince Fluttershy you were doing it on purpose. Not without giving up his own lie. "...I'm sorry Treehugger."

"Oh huh? What?" Treehugger tore her attention away from the butterfly "Was something happening? I was totally looking at this butterfly float along with the breeze, it was like, it knew the answer to everything… woah… that would have been so cool if it did"

"Discord was apologizing to you and Anon for being rude." Fluttershy informed her

"Oh, it's ok. I don't even know what he did" Treehugger couldn't be mad at what she didn't notice.

Discord opened his mouth to yell at Treehugger's ignorance of the situation. But Fluttershy's stare, it prevented him from doing it. So he sighed, and moved on to you. "Well, Anon. I apologize for getting angry, and scaring you."

"Annnd?" Fluttershy looked deeper into him "Is there a reason you're acting like this Discord?"

There was, he didn't want to admit it. He knew, he figured out at this point you were doing what he’d do to you.

He wasn't taking this as a lesson to be learned. Not completely. He was learning he shouldn't be jealous of Treehugger or losing the attention he thought he deserved. While on the other hand, he had nothing to learn from the way you were acting. He just took it as you getting back at him. The only thing he learned from that is he had to be careful around you when it came to Fluttershy. As it seemed she'd favor you over him, because you were "a cute, helpless, colt"

But Discord takes a deep breath, then releases and speaks "Yes, I wanted this to be between the three of us. And I suppose I got a little jealous when all the attention was taken away from me. But Fluttershy, surely you understand that I only wanted to enjoy a picnic as a family" He was pleading with her.

Fluttershy immediately calmed down after that, no longer angry at him now that he understood what he did wrong. She gave you a gentle kiss and whispered to you everything would be ok. That however, made you feel guilty. You wanted to mess with Discord yes, but now you felt like you were ruining the picnic. But you held fast, nothing was definitive yet.

She then flew over and landed in front of Discord, looking up at him with concern, and care for her friend, only wanting him to understand "Discord, we can still have a picnic as a family. Treehugger being here doesn't change that. Any friend, whether it be mine, yours, or Anon's could be considered a family friend. And well, I'd think welcoming them to a picnic would still make it a family picnic. It's not about seeking attention Discord. It's about sitting down, enjoying a meal with family and friends, and having a good time. And, I still want to have that good time. Do you think we can still have a good time, Discord?"

"D-do you forgive me Fluttershy?" Discord was worried that she didn't.

Fluttershy gave him a gentle smile and hugged him tightly "I did, the moment you apologized. I don't want anypony to be upset. I just want us all to be happy and enjoy lunch together."

"I'd like that too Fluttershy, I'd… like that too" Discord had to wipe a genuine tear from his eye and joined Fluttershy in the hug.

Awww, even despite the possibility you went too far. Everything ended up being ok. You wanted to show there was no hard feelings in your own way. You snuck up on them, and joined in on the hug.

Treehugger just watched, and smiled at the situation "There's so much love in the room right now, which is really weird because there's like, no walls, because we're outside. I guess it doesn't make it weird, but if we weren't outside, and there wasn't walls, then it'd be weird. Hrmmm" Treehugger began to go into deep thought about the importance of walls in an indoor and outdoor setting.

After the hug ended, Fluttershy smiled at both you and Discord "See, it's still a family picnic. Because we're all here. As a family.This is how it should be. With cuddles, and hugs, and good food, and nice fuzzy feelings in all our hearts. You two feel it too don't you?"

You kind of did. It could have been from the hug. Most likely from the hug. But then, there was also the fact that after all of that. All three of you we're still able to come together for a hug rather than either you or Discord taking things too far accidentally. Really, it was Fluttershy who held the family aspect together. And that, you could definitely feel. Because you did care about Discord, and you knew he cared about you too. Threats and pranks aside. But without Fluttershy, nothing would actually stick. Because then Discord wouldn't have a reason to care. And if Discord ever actually lost Fluttershy, he'd probably have to be sealed on the sheer fact that his grief could be world ending.

"I do Aunt Fluttershy. And it's ok Dad, I forgive you too. I still think you're the best dad ever" You didn't think he'd take that the way you intended. But in a sense, you meant that. Bringing you to Equestria, no matter what he's done to you. Was pretty much the best present you could ever get. The time of pranking him was over, you really did just want to enjoy the picnic now.

But it seemed Discord might have been on the same page. Maybe. He hugged slightly harder, but still gentle, just to bring you and Fluttershy closer. "Thank you Anon, and thank you Fluttershy for making me see the follies of my jealousy. I really hope we can put this behind us and enjoy our picnic together. With Treehugger included of course."

Fluttershy was absolutely delighted to hear that.She felt everything was going back on track. "Then let's do just that. Let's take away all the badness from our minds and hearts and let the goodness in. And then everything will be ok."

And with that, The four of you continued the picnic, putting the negativity behind all of you. Though, you still wondered if Discord meant what he said. You'd never know until you privately spoke with him. And that's even if he told you the truth. Like with Chrysalis, you'd have to push that out of your mind until the picnic was over. This was no time to think bad thoughts.

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