• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,517 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

  • ...
66
 2,803
 10,517

PreviousChapters Next
Chapter 109

He didn't even tell you when the party was starting. Well, you did know what day. You just didn't know what time it was. Mostly due to your alarm clock being wrecked.

You had a charge… You could repair it… but… maybe not today. You walk over to the portal door and open it, peering outside. You didn't see any children around the town hall. You peek your head out of the portal to get a look around. Even with increased view. You didn't see a single filly or colt.

"GYAHHHH! HEADLESS PONY! HEADLESS PONY!"

...That voice. You, couldn't put a face to it. You look to your left and see a pinkish pony with a very light yellow mane with flowers, lillies you think, as a cutie mark. You could only vaguely remember her. "Er… Hi?"

"IT'S GOING TO EAT ME! WHYAAuuhh..." She faints.

"...Oh..right. That's… Lily I think… why did she?" You look down, you had no body, since it was on the other side of the portal.

Shit.. You quickly pull your head back in. "Did not… mean to do that… cripes."

You close the portal door and then head towards your floor door. "I guess I have some time. If I'm going to try to reform Chrysalis. I should probably start by thanking her for the room."

You open the door and head down into the living room to look for her. "Maybe she won't mess me too much now too, since she knows I'm an… Oh no.."

You just realized something. The whole Twilight business had made you forget that you had told Chrysalis most of the truth. "Ugh… dammit."

You wondered what Discord would think. He most likely wouldn't like it. But… you and him were bros right? He wouldn't stick you on a skewer and roast you, right? You'd have to hope that he wouldn't. Because if he figures it out first, or Chrysalis tells him before you did. That would look awfully bad. And then… he might actually do that "thing"… or something worse.

"Relax Anon, just relax. All you have to do is just talk to him right after the party. It'll… it'll be fine." ...Oh, you were really deluding yourself now. "Ok. Just accept it. Maybe he'll get a laugh when you tell him about the whole scaring her with the "God" thing. He does love that kind of stuff..."

You just stood there, talking to yourself. Until you realized that getting too worried over it was probably just as bad an idea. "Ok, worst case scenario is that he just probably takes my horn away. That'll be fine. It'll suck, but it'll be fine. He said it himself. Were buddies. Second best friend and all that. It'll be ok..." You put your hoof to your chest, breathe out, and extend your hoof forward. "Wooo.....ok...."

Hrn, that was easier than you thought. Or maybe you really were just deluding yourself too much. But you also wanted to get through the day now until you could talk to Discord as quickly as possible so you could get it over with. So, first things first. Thank bugbutt.

But as you looked around, she wasn't anywhere in the living room.

You look down at the floor where the trap door was. "...Do I dare?" You were going to at one point… Hopefully you wouldn't get ripped to shreds. "...maybe… if I go down there, she'll see it as a sign of good will… hopefully. Mnngh..."

You inch over to the trap door, and carefully flip it open. There was a staircase that led deep down into dank darkness. Despite the house being on a small floating island, those stairs looked like they went several feet deep. That's chaos for you.

You carefully approach the stairs. "Hello?...Anybo-Anypony down there?" No answer. "....mmnnn..."

That's annoying when there’s not even a scowl or hiss. "Chrysalis? You down there?" No answer.

You inch closer to the stairs, and start heading down slowly, being wary of your surroundings. Or… what you could see anyway. You had to be careful. If it went too deep, you'd just head back up and forget the whole thing. "Hello...?" Still no answer.

You head down a few more stairs down what seemed to be a cavernous underground. You could see some green glowing lights down the stairs. Was that the end? Or was it changelings coming upwards towards you? "Hello?..." No answer, looking harder down, the glows looked like they were coming from crystals. Interesting.

You decide to head down just a little more. "Hello? For the last time, Is anypony going to answer?"

"I am."

"I am? Huh?" You focus your eyes downwards, but don't see anyone. "Hello?"

You feel someone pat your back, startling you. You turn your head… and see that scrappy little Changeling from before. You turn around and step back downwards away from him. He was guarding the way back up.

"Oh… hey. How's it going?" You ask him, trying to sound friendly as to hope not to anger him.

He didn't answer, he just stared at you angrily, shaking his butt left and right as if he was going to pounce.

"Hello?..Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Well don't! you are an enemy of the queen and I will stop you from... your... plans" Wut? He didn't sound very sure of what he was doing.

You cock your head in confusion. "Uhhh, what are you saying? Last I checked your queen and I were cool with each other."

"Nothing but lies! The queen would never be friends with you! I shall avenge her honor for what you have done to her!"

Wuuut? "Uhhh, what do you mean? I just sai-"

"Enough! It's because of you and Discord that she got a headache when we captured you. And now it's your fault that we're stuck here. Our queen forced to associate with scum! Prepare yourself Anon, I will end you!" He was getting ready to fight. Was he for serious?

"CHARGE!" The little changeling rushed towards you, horn first. You just roll your eyes and step aside. Little bastard wasn't even looking where he was going. On fucking stairs no less. It was clear he wasn't going to listen to reason.

The little guy trips, and starts rolling down the stairs with grunts and yelps. You smile just a little. You found his dedication a little cute. You could also use this opportunity to listen to how far you had left to go before you reached the bottom.

Thirty-two yelps, that’s what you count up total. "Hrn… That's pretty deep."

You continue your trek shortly after the yelps ended. But after taking a few more steps down...

Suddenly, you hear the little scrappy changeling and the voice of the captain arguing. You couldn't exactly make out what with all the echoing. And before you could make another move, you heard the sound of wings quickly fluttering and echoing closer towards you.

The ever imposing captain flies over you and lands behind you, your exit once again being blocked. Ahh shit…

"...U-uuhh… Hi?"

The captain nods "Hello… friend Anon, please forgive that drone for his impudence. He never fully grew like the rest of us. Both in mind and body"

Friend Anon?..Wut? "We're friends now? Really?"

The captain nods. "Of course, any friend of the queen is a friend to the hive. Have you come to visit her?"

...Huh… "I just wanted to swing by and er… thank her for cleaning up my room."

"I see, then come down. She has been expecting your return" He grinned a rather creepy grin, as he stepped closer to you, making you step back.

"Ummm, can't you just...go get her?"

"The queen is tired, and doesn't wish to leave her spot. Come friend, I shall lead the way"

...Oh… this was… not… exactly good, you didn't want to go this far down. "Erm...can you just tell her I said thank you?"

He stepped closer as you stepped back "But wouldn't you want to tell her yourself? She would appreciate it."

it was clear you weren't going to go past him. The only option you saw was to just go with it. Do what you came down for, and leave.

"Ok ok, just… stop walking towards me like that. Makes this whole thing feel like a trap."

The captain stopped his approach, looking right into your eyes with his blue pupiless eyes. "Oh..." He floated behind you again, you now had a clear way to the exit. But, considering he was right there. That was probably STILL not a good idea. "Is this better?" The captain asked you.

Again, you didn't know if he was being genuine. "Y-yeah… so, just down there?"

The captain nodded, and turned around and started walking down the stairs "Yes, please follow me."

You do so, deeper into the cavernous basement. Which it was indeed, a cavern. There were glowing crystals of various colors barely lighting up sections of the cave. When you reached the bottom of the stairs, the area in front of you was vast and wide. There were "nests" of green goop along the cave walls. And although you couldn't make out bodies. There were blue eyes staring at you from everywhere. This place was fucking spooky.

Further ahead was… oh shit. It's the tower fortress. He brought the whole damn thing, though it looked like it was in more ruin than before. "Are we seriously going in there? It looks like it's going to collapse"

The captain shook his head "No, it's too dangerous. The queen had us gather what we could and set up behind the fortress. Follow me"

You follow him around the fortress tower, behind it was the furniture with a few tattered banners set up, and Chrysalis herself laying belly down on a bed, raised by a small staircase of their green mucus stuff. Two torches on either side a lit with a green flame. Set up in the center of it was an orb with a purple slime inside of it. That must have been the piece of "The Smooze" Discord talked about.

"Welcome back Anon, I'm pleased to see you casually step into my abode. What do you think?" She was smiling at you. Her expression was soft and inviting… not a good sign.

You wouldn't say "casually" either. You felt like you were forced. The Captain walks over to Chrysalis and sits in front of her bed, standing like a guard would.

"Hi… it's err… pretty good." Oh boy, you shouldn't have come down here. Every single changeling you could spot was staring at you.

"Only pretty good? Hrn… I suppose. We did get a little behind schedule on completely stripping the old fortress. Having your room clean was first priority. I assume you're happy with my children's work?"

There we go, just say it and go. Reforming shit can be done ABOVE the basement. You nod, and even smile. "Yep, it's just as if it never happened… umm… aside from my destroyed alarm clock."

Chrysalis made an expression of concern. "Oh, is that what that was. Well… I apologize Anon. But I nor my children had any idea of what that was. We thought it was supposed to look that way"

...You'd have to give her the benefit of the doubt. She has probably never seen anything like a digital clock before. "It's fine, I can just make a new one if I want. No harm done. I mean, we're friends now right? Friends don't hold things like that over each other."

Chrysalis slowly got up, and began to approach you. "That's good to hear. Because I've been thinking about us being friends while you were away. And the more I thought about it, the more appealing it seemed."

...All this uncertainty you felt. "Well, I mean. Friendship is what makes Equestria go round. You can't really get anywhere without it."

"And how right you are." Chrysalis now stood over you, looking down at you. Her original form was so imposing. Especially with the creepy lighting. "Especially when it comes to you and Discord. You all have accomplished so much together. Trusting each other, teasing each other, and fooling all those ponies down in Equestria. All thanks to friendship." ...She wasn't wrong. But, the way she put that last part. It felt… pretty bad.

"It's for a good cause Chrysalis. I don't think you'd remember Fluttershy. But, her and Discord are the best of friends. But..."

Chrysalis interrupts you "Let me guess, that whole business with Tirek soured their relationship. Right?"

You could’ve sworn she was about to smile there. You shake your head. "No, it sort of soured every other pony's view on him. And that reflected on their view of Fluttershy too. They started not to really trust her since she was still buddy buddy with him. So, he just plucked me out of my own dimension and made me his son. And by doing that, well… nopony could possibly hate a good father. And that’s exactly what it is."

"I see. And you have no objections whatsoever?"

You shake your head. "No, I really do like it here."

No, don't mention Twilight to her. Something about this didn't feel right.

"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying your stay. I won't open any old wounds by asking about your own world. Actually, I was hoping we could maybe talk some more about friendship." Chrysalis turned into her filly form. "Doesn't that sound neato?" She giggled

"Umm, actually. I got to be going. I still got stuff to do." You really did.

Chrysalis then did the cutest pouting she could. "But Anon, I want to learn about friendship. I want to learn more about you. How can I learn to be good if you won't spend time with me? Pwease, just for a little bit?"

You cringed, that was pretty… damn cute for a loli bugpone. "Erhm..."

Then, the captain spoke up. "My queen, may I… say something?"

Chrysalis visibly got annoyed for just a moment as she turned her head and forced a smile at her captain "Yes?"

"I er, just don't feel it appropriate for you to beg..." The captain was looking a little nervous speaking up like this.

Chrysalis never broke her gentle smile, but her tone, it was a little sterner than what her expression let on. "Captain… we must show a little humility to our hosts. How else are we supposed to live in harmony?"

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!