• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,257 Views, 2,757 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 164

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Anon makes a promise.
Diamond is confusing.
And the maids are worried.

"It's me, Anon. Can I come in?"

Diamond Tiara raised her head and looked towards her window. With her curtain open, she was able to see you on the other side. But she looked at you with confusion. "..Anon?....what are you doing up on my balcony?"

"I wanted to see you, so I snuck up here"

"You...snuck up here? Why? You're allowed to come in anytime....OH!" She hid her face and her shame to wipe her tears away, and beamed a smile at you while she hopped out of bed and trotted towards you "Did you reconsider turning me into an Alicorn? That's why you're here, right?"

Oh man, you could see all that genuine hope on her face. If it wasn't for the fact that you essentially reformed her mom. You'd feel heartbroken for what you were about to say next. "Ummmmm, no. But I thought I could come see how you were doing..you know t-"

Her eyes go half closed with stoic unenthusiasm over your words. "Leave"

"W-what? Hey come on. I thought you'd be happy to see me if I came to see if you were ok"

"Why would I be happy? It's not like talking to you is going to fix my problem. And I don't want to hear any more reasons on why you can't make me an Alicorn. I don't even see what the problem would be. It's not like I'd leave you out of it. You'd have benefits too...you know, I'd be a princess eventually. Princess's need....umm.." She was starting to dote over you, and shook her head to regain her senses. "You know what? just go!"

You can see her eyes start to glisten with tears again as she put up a tough front.

"Oh come on..." You were half questioning yourself why you bothered coming. But if Diamond was upset when her mother arrived. Well, there could be a misunderstanding. You've watched enough cartoons to see what happened when an upset kid meets up with the target of their rage. Even if the target was willing to make amends.

"Look, I'm sorry about the whole Alicorn thing, I really am. But I'm telling you, Nothing good would come from it. But, maybe there's something else. If you let me in, we could talk. Trust me, if you listen to what I have to say. You'll feel a lot better"

"What else is supposed to make me feel better? I already told you there's nothing else we can do. I know you've met my mom. She hates you, just like the rest of our friends. So don't tell me one of your plans is to talk to her. Because it won't work"

Oh, the irony in that statement. "Well, I'm sure we can figure out a surefire way if we just..hang out and talk with each other. I'll be all yours until you want me to go or if I get kicked out. How does that sound?"

"I told you. There's no other way! If you don't want to help me then go!...leave me alone..." You saw a few tears start to drip from the bottom of her face. She quickly wiped up her face with her hoof to hide away her tears.

"Come on Diamond, you don't want to be alone in here do you? Just let me in, ok? I promise you'll feel better. I'll do whatever you want me to do"

"No you won't. You just want me to let you in so you can tell me how wrong I am." She turns away, and heads back to her bed. "Just go back home already, I was busy....doing things"

Fuck, you were crashing and burning. "...Do you know what a Pinkie Promise is by any chance?"

She stops, then turns around. She still didn't looked too pleased. "You mean that stupid promise thing that's supposed to be unbreakable? Yeah, what about it?"

You sigh. "I Anon, Pinkie Promise to do whatever you want me to do, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." You then give her a cheerful smile, and whip your tail to and fro.

".....mmnn........mnnnngh........ok" She sighs and goes to her window, and opens it for you. Well, that was easy.

You step inside and take a small stretch before turning to look at her, keeping that cheerful smile on your face. "See? That wasn't so bad. So, whatcha wanna talk about?"

"Well......you're not lying to me when you said your horn won't work right now, right?"

You nod. "Yeah, I used the charge on something sort of dumb really. Just to bring back something from my old life"

"Oh...Well...then I want you to do something for me" She looked really unsure all of a sudden, she was blushing deeply. Ohhhhh shit. OHHH SHIT. She was even rubbing her leg with her other hoof. That shit was adorable enough to even get you blushing.

"Yeah? Sure, what is it?"

"....you can't say no, you know, you promised..." She started to blush even more....oohh shiiiittt...OHHH SHIIITTT. AND SO SUDDEN TOO! YOU JUST STEPPED IN AND SHE SHIFTED GEARS ALREADY!

"Y-yeah..I g-guess I can't...s-s-ooo..what is it?"

"Marry me."

......ABOOOOOOORT! ABOOOORT! AREA TOO HOT! "U-uhmmm...repeat that."

"You heard me...marry me...right now. Or are you going to break your promise?" She started to slowly approach you.

You gulp, saying nothing. nononononononoo....ok...you were expecting lewd. maybe you'd have danced with it for a little bit.....but NOPE...NOT THIS..NOOOOOO.

"Anoooon, cooomee onn" She whined. "You said you'd do whatever I said"

What do you do?! WHAT DO YOU DO?! You can't marry her! That'd ruin everything....and probably ruin your own life in the process. Ohh shit. OHH SHIT.

...No, she can't just marry you. right?...RIGHT?!...her dad would have to give her away...or maybe that’s not how weddings work here. You know there needed to be a ceremony at least. "uhhh sure...ok...but you know, there's gotta be all that ceremony stuff. Your dad would have to-"

"You can stop now Anon" She was blushing deep, a little sheepish smile on her face as she looked at you shyly. "I...just wanted to know if you'd really be willing to keep your promise. I didn't know you'd go and try to plan the wedding out too....ummm..."

Oh no....it was a trick...and she thought you were trying to plan it?! no....NO..you we're trying to find a way to avoid it...ARGH. SIMPLE MINDED KIDS........even...if she was cute… "...ummm..yeah..well..you know me....I'm a pinnacle of truth..heh..."

Oh god..what a bold faced lie. You accomplished your mission in seconds...but the results were not in your favor.

".....I-I don't want you to get the wrong idea or anything...I..know we're not a couple..I..just wanted to know if you'd marry me now. B-but..." She didn't know what else to say.

"Diamond...uhh. erm...you wanna talk about something else maybe? I d-don't ermmm..think we should be talking about marriage"

She still didn't say a word, she looked like she was half in a day dream. It took her awhile to finally get out a few more words. But the way she said it was with a rich sense of arrogance. "Y-you're right. hmph," She composed herself "We're not even together and you had plans in your head. That's kind of pathetic really. Did you think I'd just take you in after you're the one who broke it off?"

Woah..where did this come from? You were oblivious actually. But she was just trying to act high and mighty and pretending to be uninterested and insulted.

"I was just answering a question..." Yeesh, she's flip floppping all over the place. You thought so anyway. "It was just hypothetical stuff really." Woo, you needed a towel. that was close.

"Oh....erm. Well..umm..ok. I mean, it was sweet of you to keep your promise, but remember. You already said no to me...I mean...if you changed your mind...maaaayyybbeee I'd take you back...maybe"

...wait....ohhhh....she was being passive aggressive. Funny how you missed that. But you had to stick to your guns. She was just too young...even though...she did look a lot cuter than usual. "Sorry. but I do remember my promise. About if I don't find anypony else that'd well....me and you would be a thing"

"Mhmmm, I remember too. I don't think I'll ever forget. I mean, who knows? There might be another colt who'll come along and sweep me off my hooves. But..." She gulps, and steps closer to you, and lowers her head to rub the top of it under your muzzle. She was gentle, and her mane was soft and warm. "...maybe not"

Good job Anon, good fucking job. You forgot that you were A: dealing with a growing young filly. And B: she has a gigantic crush on you. "W-well umm...I er...guess."

You chuckle very nervously. And yet, you don't find yourself moving away from her gentle touch.

Diamond Tiara could sense that she was pulling you closer to her. It's one of the things she wanted after all. She wasn't completely doing it on purpose, but she absolutely enjoyed the attention. It was distracting her from her problems. Still, she thought. Now that you were being more agreeable and she knew she'd have you for as long as she wanted. She wondered what you'd like to talk about in relation to her mother.

She stops her nuzzling and takes a breath. "So...umm, you said we might be able to come up with some ideas? Did you have any in mind?"

.....You were still blushing. And half your mind was gone from it. Fuck, were you giving in?

"Anon?"

....Ohh..right right right...fuck...shit. You gave your head a quick shake and rubbed your forehead. "Sorry, had other things on my mind for a second. Erm..ideas.....ideeeaass. Well, I was thinking that maybe, when she came home. You try the peaceful approach. Give her a hug, ask her how she is, show her that you at least still care."

Suddenly, all of Diamond's pent up "feelings" for you dropped as she raised an eyebrow at you. "...Really? My mom isn't exactly the huggy type. She'd only tell me I was being too sappy or something and then say something like "You must be stern and a jerk and treat everypony like they’re scum and bla bla this and jerk stuff that" "

"Ahh come on Diamond, things can change. I think it might be the best idea we could come up with."

"...No..that's the dumbest plan we could come up with. And I'd be even dumber to actually try it"

"Woah, relax. Trust me, I actually think it'd work."

"....Anon, come on. It's not that easy. You don't know her. She cares more about making me into her than....just me being me" Diamond Tiara started to feel the hurt again just from saying that, and as she tilted her head down.

You reached out and put your hoof under her chin to raise it back up. You were giving her a confident smile. Despite the situation you found yourself in, you were still very devout in cheering her up and making sure she'd make the right move. "Hey, I'm making this suggestion because I really think it'd work. I need you to trust me. I know it sounds stupid. But, if you'd just try it...well....you'd be surprised."

Diamond was blushing a little from your touch, but the sadness she was beginning to feel again was becoming overwhelming. "Anon...it won't work..it just w-"

You interrupt her, you move your hoof back from under her chin. But you don't relent on your confidence. "It will work Diamond, you just gotta believe in me"

“Anon, why are you so sure? How can you be?"

"I...just am. Look, if things don't work out. Then, if you want to stop being my friend. Then that's ok. I'd deserve it"

No..she wouldn't want that either way. But Diamond comes up with an idea of her own. The idea she wanted. "I have a better idea"

"What is it?"

"Well, I decided I will try your idea. Since you seem so sure. But...if it doesn't work. You have to turn me into an alicorn." If it was any other time. You'd react, and even refuse. But there was no way that wouldn't work. So you give her a serious look and nod.
"Ok....if it doesn't work. Then I'll turn you into an alicorn the first chance I get."

Diamond Tiara found that surprising. She was expecting you to fight it in some way or form. "Really? You'll actually do it?"

You nod. "I did promise to do whatever you say. And since you're willing to meet me in the middle on this. Then yeah, I'll do it."

"...Wow...you really took the whole Pinkie Promise thing seriously. O-ok then, the moment my Mom comes back...whenever that is. I'll try your idea, and if it doesn't work. Well....you better not say no later. You got that?"

You nod. "I'm a pony of my word Diamond, you know that"

"..I know...mmmnn." Then...she smiled, and even giggled "Thanks Anon, you really cheered me up. I'm even excited actually"

"Really? What are you excited about?"

"Because now I'm guaranteed to get my mother's love and respect. Plus...a few other things." She fluttered her eyes at you.

You chuckle nervously. "Y-yeah, wooo. So um...what now?"

"Well...I'm feeling a lot better now...and you're here..and I'm here....alone" She giggled.

Oh good lord. your plan worked too well. Why couldn't this be Applebloom? She didn't seem the type who'd try to do these kinds of things to get your attention. "....ummm...yeah. So you're...feeling better now?"

She nods "Mhmmm, you always manage to cheer me up Anon. You're always there to rescue me. You could be my knight in shining armor...or my prince"

You gulped, she was stepping closer to you. A near drunken smile on her face.

"I...uhm...I just really care about you Diamond, I felt bad about what I said..and erm..just uhh..wanted to cheer you up. And ummm..erm...what are you planning?"

"Ohhh" She giggles "nothing~" She looks at you, with love filled eyes. "I'm just going to give you my "Special" attention"

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

"W-w-w-what?! D-D-D-iamond..I" You back up into a wall. No where to go.

"Shhh, you don't need to say anything...just..hold still"

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

She was just staring at you, and she was positioning herself. You were gulping in tandem. OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. You couldn't get any words out.

And then..it happened. She dove into you, and snuggled onto you like a pillow. But she didn't try anything sexual. She was just...cuddling.

"D-diamond?" Oh god....it felt so warmmmmmm~

"....shhh...I-I'm trying something. We're not supposed to talk"

W-what?! "What do you mean? What are we doing?..c-can't you tell me?"

"....It's. Well, my Daddy would tell me that when he and my mom were younger. That if she ever failed at something. She'd become a mess...she'd even be scared to see my Daddy. But he'd always go to see her anyway. He said he'd cuddle with her. and just not say a word the entire night. And when they both woke up. She'd be ok again. But they don't do that anymore....My mom sounded like she was much nicer when she was younger. I wonder what happened sometimes...I wish I could go back and meet her when she was nice..."

...So that's what it was. Diamond just wanted to wash away any more worries she would have had. This special attention was....just special as in the way her dad told it to her. It was special because you were there

"...And I know you're worried too. you made so many promises that I know goes against what you were telling me earlier. So I thought maybe I was pushing you too hard. And..." Diamond Tiara now started to feel bad about forcing you into the alicorn thing. And while she still wanted it that badly, she also believed in the faith you had in the plan. "If...you don't want to turn me into an alicorn. You don't have to...I'd like it...but. If you really really don't want to...then..I guess...I won't mind if you don't."

Mmnnn....you start to get a little into this and cuddle her back, nuzzling your chin onto the top of her head. "It's ok...I'm a colt of my word. But, I just want you to trust me ok? I promise everything will be ok."

She nuzzles back, and looks towards the window to her balcony. "Anon...you don't think I'd become like her...do you?"

"Nah, I think you'll grow up to be as nice as you are now"

You could feel her press herself a bit closer "Do you really think I'm nice?"

"...Yeah, whatever happened before. I mean when you were...you know..mean. That doesn't matter. Because that wasn't you. That's not who you really wanted to be."

"Mmnnnn....Thanks Anon...you're...a real good friend" You don't say anything. you just respond with a warm hug. "....I wouldn't mind if we just laid here forever. I feel like nothing could go wrong"

"Yeah..it's..not bad really."

You both just lay there for a little while more, embracing each other in a bundled up cuddlehug. Though, it didn't last forever. No...it was ended when the maids...the three who apparently never actually left from the door, could be heard speaking loudly. Almost in a scream.

"Oh no! Mrs.Rich is home!"

"What?! She's not expected for another two months!"

"Oh my Celestia! We're doomed! She must have come home early to fire all of us! I just know it!"

"Mr.Rich isn't home either! OHHHHHH We're gonna get fired for sure!"

Diamond Tiara's ear perks up, hearing the fear of the maids through her door. Her attention being caught the moment she heard "Mrs.Rich"

She breaks off the embrace immediately in fear. "A-Anon, Get up! Get up! Quick!"

"Wha, huh? What happened?" You didn't quite catch what happened. You were in a lulled gentle daze.

"My mom! She's home! She's home early!" Diamond was panicking crazily "If she sees you here...OH MY CELESTIA! YOU GOTTA GET OUT!"

Oh shit. Mrs.Rich must have made a first class beeline home after you and Discord was done with her. That’s fine, you knew things would be ok. And you...wait...how were you gonna get out? "O-ok ok...how do I get out?"

"What do you mean?! Just go the way you came in! Go gogogogogogo!" Diamond Tiara started pushing you out to the balcony, and near the edge even. You tried to get her to stop. But dat adrenaline

"W-wait! Diamond! DIAMOND! THATS THE EDGE!" You didn't actually get up to the balcony. so..you didn't exactly know how to get down. But Diamond wasn't thinking. And she didn't stop. She pushed you off the balcony. And watched you fall.

And before you can even let out a yelp. You fall..again..on your head..and flip onto your belly....oohhhggg....this one........hurt. Not even the fact that you landed on grass could help it.

"A-anon..A-are you ok?! I-I didn't mean to...oh no"

No...you were ok...your head was seemingly invincible despite the fact everything was spinny. You raise your head up, and try to stand, but you just end up finding it difficult to keep your balance. "ayt's aok Dermond, ah feel like er million bits. ah bet I could take on Tirek's dark in mah booty"

You had no idea what you were saying, and neither did she. But seeing you down there made her feel relief since you didn't get seriously injured. "O-ok...j-just get out of here. I-I'll see you later and tell you how things went, ok? Go..Go now!"

"...But I don't want hot cocoa..."

"ANON GO!"

"Ohhhh......ok" And you turned and walked off. tilting from side to side as your head took a few moments to reboot. Man...everything...was so damn spinny....and your head hurt...so bad. It's a good thing you'll be ok....hopefully.

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