• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 237

With that, Discord rose from his throne and made an announcement "Good Job everypony! so far for this lesson, you all have received an "A"! Isn't that great?"

"What....really?" One of the students asked
"For making chaos? Weren't we supposed to be learning something about his history?"
"I'm just glad that's over...I...I was feeling bad over some of the things I was doing"
"Me too..."
"But, what's even going on?" The entire class started to talk among themselves. Trying to figure out what he meant.

"What do you think he means Anon?" Diamond asked

"Umm..." You give it some thought. He said it was to raise his own reputation. But, maybe that was a cover. If anything, he basically made everyone into "Discord". They all experienced what was like to be him. It's just they also all fucked up. "If I had to guess, we all got an "A" for causing chaos. ....actually"

You raise your hoof for Discord to see. He notices and calls you out "Ahh, Anon, my son. Do you have a question? Or do you know why everypony got an "A"? Because really....I expected everypony to be excited, fireworks to be going off....something"

"I did actually. We basically learned how your reign was by doing things you would do. All you did once you became king was cause chaos everywhere you went...right?" You ask

"Exactly! Nicely done...But, as everypony could see, not all of you could make the cut of using chaos magic and causing mayhem and disorder like myself. Does anypony know why that is? hmmmm....You...Apple....juice...something" Discord points to Applebloom, who was raising her hoof.

Applebloom gave him an irritated scrunchy face from him forgetting her name again. "......Really? It's Applebloom!"

Discord shrugged. "It's a hard name to remember. Don't get upset at me. Now, do you have an actual answer or not?"

"Well..." Applebloom looked up at him, feeling confident in her answer. "It's probably because you were a big jerk who didn't care who he hurt. And ya didn't like anypony either, so you were probably really mean too. Ah could never be like that, that's just lonely"

".....Hrn...correct. But did you have to make me sound like a monster?" Discord tapped his foot, annoyed.

"Just callin' it as I see it. Ah mean yer not a monster anymore right? Ah'd hate to tell Fluttershy that yah didn't really change" Applebloom gave a grin

".....Right...Well...ahrm" Discord cleared his throat. "Applebloom is correct, that was indeed...the old me. But enough about me....let's get back to...well...Me! The climax of the lesson is upon us. And that is of course, my original downfall. Of course, considering the touchiness of the issue. This part of the lesson must be taught by professionals....Any questions before we continue?"

Sweetie Belle raised her hoof.

"Yes..you...." Discord refrains from mentioning any names this time, he didn't want to deal with another smartalec.

"Yeah, why are you so excited about this part? If it was me, I think I'd just kinda downplay my own defeat. Seems kinda humiliating, depreciating, and just plain awful. I know I wouldn't want to look like a big dumby in front of a bunch of foals." Sweetie Belle states

"........" Discord groans and rubs his temples with his talons. "Beeeecause, it's still important. What's with all of you? I'd think it'd be pretty humbling to show off one's own defeat. Anon, my son, back me up here!" Discord pleads for some back up

Should you? He would just threaten you if you didn't. But, even being his buddy, the fact he takes things so personally irked you. He just couldn't take anything backfiring on him...so for once.....let's make it worse. "...Just lose already! I'm hungry!"

The entire class erupted in laughter, Discord just standing there, flames within the pupils of his eyes as he stared at you.

....Ohhhhhh… You just grinned and shrugged at him.

"It seems not all of you have...learned the lesson...but...that's fine..." Discord started twisting his cane, making it slowly dig into the ground from his frustration. "...So...to continue. I was sitting on my throne...eating my plunder seeds..." Discord then grinned evilly as he pointed at the seat.

In a flash, you appeared on the throne. with a little headband with discord's horns on it on your head. and a bag of plunder seeds at your side.

"What?! What?! Woah! What?! What happened?! Where Am I?!" You were shocked as you looked around

Discord gave a falsely annoyed groan. when in truth he was going to enjoy this. "Anon, pay attention!...sheesh" He rolled his eyes has he swapped his hat for a director's beret. "You're Discord, at the height of your life! You're eating plunder seeds recklessly as those two evil princesses come to ruin your fun!..Go ahead...start eating!"

"Woah woah...hold on. I'm not eating this stuff! What are you even doing?!" You push the bag away, but Discord grabs it and plants it back down next to you.

"Well, I can't be Discord. I'm the teacher right now. I have to teach and DIRECT this lesson to make sure it's as accurate as possible. Now...are you going to start eating? Or do I have to put you in a bib and feed you?" He taps his foot, waiting for an answer.

You stare at him in the eyes. A hard hard stare. "I'm not eating these"

Discord turned to your class and announced happily "Hey class! Who wants to see Anon be fed food like a baby!? Just like I do for him bac-"

"OK!" You yell out...sheesh...what a fucking prick. "Sheesh...ok...ok..So...I'm Discord, laud de da....yum yum..plunder seeds..." You grab the bag and grab a hoofull, then hesitate, looking at the black seeds with disgust. "...eeeegh"

"It's that or I get the bib Anon...." Discord grinned at you.

Bastard...how did you think he was the best again? Fucking gets bootyblasted the moment he looks bad.

You stuff the plunder seeds into your mouth and then cringe....oh god...it tasted like Nyquil. "E-eghhhh...ok..thats enough..when do we move on to the next part....?"

"Wait....yeah...Doesn't Celestia and Luna beat...erm" Scootaloo looks at you, she was trying to visualize you as Discord, but it was kind of hard, she did think the horns made you look cute though "Discord...you...something? How are you going to get them here?"

"Ahh! a good question! But, like with my good little son here playing yours truly" Discord gives you a gentle pat as you scrunch your nose at him, annoyed. "We will simply have to improvise...soooo" Discord snaps his talons, and Miss Cheerilee's bubble, which was still floating high. Began to descend. And as it did, she was looking at Discord with furious eyes.

And then it landed, Discord giving it a poke and popping it, Cheerilee just breathing hard. Staring...just...staring.

"Ahhh Miss Cheerilee, I'm go-" But he is interrupted

Discord is taken back midword as Cheerilee starts barking at him. "DISCORD! DIIISCORD! HOW COULD YOU! TO FOALS, HOW COULD YOU! HOW COULD YOU TERRORIZE THEM LIKE THAT?! YOU BETTER HAVE A GOOD REASON DISCORD! OR I'M GOING STRAIGHT TO PRINCESS TWILIGHT...NO..TO PRINCESS CELESTIA! HOW ABOUT THAT?!"

Discord just stayed silent for a moment, then sighed "...Perhaps I may have overdone things a little...but, dear miss Cheerilee, look upon your students. Do they look terrorized?"

Cheerilee's eye twitched in anger, but she still took the time to look. And what she saw was her students, sitting quietly, in usual form, looking like they were ready to learn...it was baffling. It seemed she couldn't actually hear anything that was going on from inside the bubble. "...students?"

They all smiled and called out. "Hello Miss Cheerilee!"

"Miss Cheerilee, Mister Discord didn't mean any harm. He's actually teaching us!" Scootaloo let out. "In a really neat way too!"

"H-he is? B-but I could see everypony running around and blowing each other up before I flew too high up to see. Are you telling me...everything is ok now? What did you all learn?" She was totally flabbergasted

"We learned that ,well, having the power to do whatever you want doesn't mean you should. We were all basically living like Discord did...but...it didn't turn out so well" Sweetie Belle said as she looked down at her belly, there was some freezer burn marks on it.

"Yeah...we learned that you shouldn't flaunt being great or powerful or nothin like that, it just ends up hurtin’ others...in fact, ah learned that..." Applebloom looked upon you, and sighed heavily. "Just because ya feel you want to get somethin' really bad, doesn't mean ya should, and ya shouldn't be so stubborn about it either..."

Snips raised his hoof. "I learned that you can't swim in chocolate!"

"...Yeah, I learned that trying to force other ponies to give things up isn't good for anypony..." Diamond Tiara sighed. "It just means ponies you love can get hurt."

And this went on and on, Cheerilee utterly amazed by it all. She then turned to face you, thinking you learned something too. Instead, you were now stuffing your face with the plunder seeds. Hmmm..they weren't so bad after a second try.

You then notice Miss Cheerilee and raise your hoof as you had your nose in the bag. "Yo!"

Cheerilee silently groaned at that one. She hoped you weren't too intelligent that you...apparently learned nothing from this. But...amazingly..she did surrender. And sighed...then looked to Discord with a sunny smile "Mister Discord...I'm amazed. And here I thought you were going to be a menace. When really, not only were you teaching the students about the history of your rule...but also valuable life lessons. I mean this when I say this...but I apologize. You're a good guy" Cheerilee giggled.

Discord bowed. "Oh thank you Miss Cheerilee, you leave me most humbled...but er...May I ask you for one last favor?"

Cheerilee smiled at him. "Sure, what is it?"

Discord chuckled "Say Goodnight!" He pointed his talon like a gun at Cheerilee and zapped her. She exploded in a cloud of smoke

The entire class gasped in horror You nearly choked on the seeds in surprise. The hell?!

"Discord?! What are ya doing?!" Applebloom gasped

"What?!" Discord laughed and shrugged. "I can't make a pun?"

A pun?

Everyone then heard coughing from the cloud of smoke. And as it cleared. Stood a mare dark blue in color, with a starry flowing mane. and a lunar cutie mark. In fact...you'd say it was Luna if it wasn't for the usual mare body. And those eyes......ohhhhhh...he made Cheerilee into Luna...thats...thats the pun

"What was that Discord? What did you-ohhh!" Cheerilee yelped as her mane flowed right into her face. She had to push it off, and when she noticed it's beautiful color. She looked at her mane and sides. She had wings....a horn . "D-discord? What did you do?"

"Well, I needed a Luna. So now you're Luna. It's all part of the lesson" Discord said with glee.

"....Oh..erm" Cheerilee had to brush her mane to the other side of her head to get it out of her face. "Ok...I..I guess. But...don't I need to know my lines? And don't we need a Celestia too?"

"Oh right...I forget" Discord chuckles as he found the fact he forgot amusing. "I honestly forgot the part where everypony didn't know exactly what happened. Well then, first thing's first...." Discord pops up a script and hands it to her. "Here's the lines for Princess Luna"

"Ok!" Cheerilee smiled and opened the script...only to see (Luna just stands there, angry as if she has had something shoved hard into her backside and did not like it)

"...Discord.......what is this? Where's my lines....why is my motivation so vulgar?" Cheerilee was confused.

Discord shrugged. "It's just how things went....now then. Before I get our Celestia..." Discord pops in six pieces of very large rock candies "There is our Elements of Harmony...and finally" With one more snap of his talons.

"....Spike, how many times do I have to tell you to get off of that game? You've been hooked on it since it arrived and have been neglecting your duties and your friends. Don't you have to get ready to go bowling soon? Just let it......go?" Twilight had been teleported in, her pupils shrank as she looked around "What?! Who?! when?! What?! Where am I?! What?!"

You pulled the bag off your muzzle as she looked at you with frantic eyes. "..Yeah, that's what I said. Hey Twilight."

"D-discord?!" Twilight had mistaken you for Discord...somehow

.......

You point behind her. Twilight turns around, to see a cheerfully smiling Discord, and to her side, a very cheery class who immediately yell out. "Hello Princess Twilight!"

Twilight's eye twitched once, she had to wipe her eyes to make sure everything she was seeing was real.

"Hellllloooooo Twilight! I hope you weren't doing anything important....not like I'd care." Discord greeted her

"W-what's going on? I was just at the castle and..." Twilight snapped out of her haze and turned to Discord with an angry look. "Discord! What are you doing these foals and......wha?" Twilight looks to Cheerilee "P-princess Luna?...Y-you're looking thinner..Why are you here? What’s going on?!"

"Actually Princess Twilight" Cheerilee bowed "It's me, Cheerilee. And...If I can answer that question. We are currently in a reenactment of Discord's fall to the Princesses....and I guess he chose you to be Princess Celestia...I think"

"That....doesn't make any sense. Discord would never willingly make himself look bad...." Twilight looked to Discord with distaste "What are you really up to, Discord?"

You raise your hoof. "Actually...he's totally doing that. He's having me play as him..I dunno.." You raise the bag and shake it. "Yo Dad, can I get more seeds?"

"Of course!" Discord shoots the bag with some magic, filling it with seeds. "See Twilight?" Discord smirked and then eyed her. "Everypony is cooperating, having a good time, and learning...but we both know only you and Anon have the knowledge and talent to pull off the finale. Just look at those foals. They have just learned a valuable lesson on life and friendship....brought to you by me of course. Can't you see the good I'm doing?"

"...No...I just got here..." Twilight then saw the CMC among the crowd. She knew them the best and felt she could get an honest answer out of them. "Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo....is this all true?"

They all nod. "Yeah, weirdly enough...it is." They explain what they have learned, surprising Twilight as much as it did Cheerilee.

"....That's amazing...I knew you were capable of it before Discord...but you kept bouncing back..but this....I'm really impressed" Twilight was smiling but for a moment until... ".......so what's the catch?" Twilight looked at him with suspicion.

Discord chuckled confidently "Catch? No catch here Twilight....though seeing your reaction when I teleported you here was worth a few laughs. But that's neither here nor there. I just want your answer, will you be our Celestia?"

Twilight didn't fully trust him. But...he had control of the class it seemed. And she knew she stood no chance where she was right now. She didn't even know where she was. If this was the truth..then everything will be fine...she hoped. "I...guess? But no tricks Discord. So do you have a costume like Miss Ch-GAH!" Discord fires off the same magical burst he did on Cheerilee. Oh man, you couldn't wait for the smoke to clear to see Twilestia.

Twilight was coughing, and then used her magic to clear the smoke "Discord! What was that fo-HEY!" Twilight's mane started flowing into her face. "What's with my Mane, it's just fl-" She stopped when she noticed the color of it, matching Celestia's mane. She then looked upon her coat. Which was now white. "Ok...I see now....but...GRRR!" Twilight growled as she flipped her mane about. "You made my mane to flowy Discord! It's hard to see when it keeps flowing into my face."

"I can fix that actually.." Cheerilee moves in and brushes Twilight's mane from one side to the other, preventing it from flowing over her eyes "There we go...Are you alright Princess Twilight?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, thank you Miss Cheerilee...but, what do we do now?" She looked to Discord for some direction, then narrowed her eyes at him. "And don't say get defeated...because that's not how it happened. I know it didn't"

Discord nods and smirks at her. "I know you know, that's why the answer should be obvious. You, Cheerilee, and my dear dear son need only re-enact my first defeat. It shouldn't be too hard."

"......" Twilight then peered over to Cheerilee. "You couldn't have just told everypony Princess Celestia and Princess Luna used the elements of harmony on him?"

"Well...I have before. But there was so little on what actually happened during that time that I thought this would be a nice lesson for the students to learn. Discord made it sound very convincing..." Cheerilee then gave a hard and annoyed stare at Discord "It's just the fact that he failed to mention the part where he'd stick me in a bubble and let the children run amok that really made me angry.....but" She sighed. "They did learn valuable lessons from this. So maybe, just maybe...well..do you think we're being a little too impatient with him Princess Twilight?"

"No....Discord usually has an ulterior motive somewhere...but fine. Until I figure out what that is, I'll play along. Because we won't be getting out of here until I do..." Twilight sighed and pointed to you, then looked to Discord "Discord, he's playing you right? Are we going to be blasting him with...." Twilight looks down at the rock candy "Rock...candy..magic?"

Discord nods. "Yes, and make sure to make it look convincing. Children can detect bad acting, they say"

"Right.." Twilight looks back to you "Anon, do you know what you'll be doing?"

You nod. "Yep....wait.." You look up at Discord. ".....Getting blasted isn't going to hurt is it?"

"It didn't hurt me, did it?" Discord smirks at you

".....That doesn't answer my question"

"Discord, I'm not going to be responsible in harming a student if it's actually going to hurt him" Cheerilee turned to face him defiantly

"Same here, just give us a clear answer. He is your son after all" Twilight adds

Discord groans and crosses his arms "Yes...he'll be fine. Why so many questions? You do realize the longer we spend here, the closer it gets towards the end of school. I wonder how the parents would react if they realized their foals weren't coming home as soon as they liked and noticed they couldn't be found as well." Discord tried to make it a point to not think about it and move along.

While Twilight remained unphased by that remark, wanting to make sure everything for you would be ok. Cheerilee did start to feel unsettled. She had lost track of time. And she didn't want parents being upset or scared. You believed Discord though. You probably shouldn't. But getting to mess with Twilight did seem like fun, as nice as a week was with her.

"Princess Twilight, I don't mean to rush things. But he is right, Could you imagine the outrage if school is over and the children don't return home? It'll be pandemonium!" Cheerilee stressed

"Pandemonium?" Discord chortled, then wrapped around Twilight as he gently gave her mane a brush. "That actually sound more fun to me, wouldn't you agree Princess Twilight? You'd actually have royal duties to do. Mainly calming the public, but it's something."

Twilight groaned and teleported a few feet away to escape his embrace. "Alright! Alright....let's just do it then. But no tricks, and I don't want to see anypony get hurt. Now, is everypony ready? Miss Cheerilee...are you ready?"

Cheerilee nodded, then imagined strangling Discord to get a face of "menacing anger". "Ready!"

"Ok...Anon, are you ready?" She asks you.

"Yep...but hold on. Since I'm dad now, does that come with chaos magic?" You look to Discord.

"Ohhh...you know it. I expect a grand performance from you son. Do me proud" Discord gave you a wink.

You winked back. "Gotcha"

Twilight grit her teeth as her expression became a slow pained wince "Anon, are you seriously considering acting like your dad? What about everything you learned on our week together?"

You just shrugged. "It's a reenactment isn't it? Why even ask that question?"

"Because it looks like it's a little more than that to you." Twilight looked pretty serious about that.

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Look Twilight, our week was fun. I learned a lot. But some of it doesn't work for me. Also...this isn't the time for that...Celestia" You wiggle your eyebrows at her as you sit more upright on the throne. Readying yourself for the chaos.

Twilight frowned, she had to hope it was just the heat of the moment, because disregarding some of the lessons you learned didn't feel right to her. But now was not the time to ponder on it. "Alright, Discord....My sister and I have come to end your reign of chaos!" Twilight announced loud enough for the students to hear.

Ohh lord, this was gonna be fun. You munch on a few seeds and start speaking as close to Discord as possible, doing a pretty sub par DeLancie impression. Though..you couldn't remember exactly how the whole scene went anyway. You were sure Discord wouldn't mind improvisation. "Ahhh, Celestia and Luna. How nice to see the both of you....." You rudely chomp on some plunder seeds, staring at Twilight with high and mighty arrogance. "And what's this about ending my chaos? I'm afraid I couldn't hear you due to all that mumbling...let's see if we can't fix that."

You point your hoof at Twilight and make her head four times bigger. Ha! It worked! "Oops" You snicker. "Well...at least it works. I always thought you had a big head."

This spurs the class to laugh and giggle, thinking it harmless fun. You stand on your two back legs and pose for them, bringing on cheers

"AAANOONNN!" Twilight yells, her big head increasing the volume enough for everyone to cover their ears.

"Sheesh! That was annoying..and the name is Discord..remember?" You sit back onto your butt and rest your head on your hoof, looking upon Twilight with maximum smug.

".....That's not even how it went!" Twilight yells.

"Princess Twilight, mnnn..." Cheerilee already felt that was a little much, she then looks to you, actually surprised "Anon, this is only an act...right?"

You nod, softening your smug look to a more innocent form. "Yup! I'm just having a little fun. Dad pretty much did the same thing during this moment. I mean....geez" You look upon Twilight with a smarmy smile. "Some ponies just don't get good humor. It's all in fun Twilight, come on...loosen up."

You zap Twilght again. Making her entire body stretch out like a string bean. Her legs so long and wobbly that she falls into herself.

"H-heeeyyy-yyy!" Twilight yelps as her body sinks to the ground, her legs going above her.

Oh man...this was great! You were never going to get another shot like this ever again. No wonder Discord loves messing with Twilight. She takes shit so seriously. It's ridiculous.

"Ok, thats it! Let's just use the "Elements of Harmony" on him already and stop this stupidity!" Twilight yelled out

You roll your eyes at the sphagetti'd up mare. "Geez, if I can be real for a second. You're a really bad actor Twilight. I'm only pretending. You've been with Celestia for like...ever. Can't you pull her off better?"

"Well...Anon, I have to admit. Your ability to act like your father is spot on. But considering the kind of magic you're using. Don't you think Princess Twilight has a little right to be upset? I know we're all supposed to be acting here. But that looks like something that anypony would get upset about." Cheerilee tries to appeal to your softer nature. "Can we just try to get through this with as little actual chaos as possible?"

"Egh...this is why I don't work with ponies. Dab in a little chaos and they all think it's the end of the world. Well Anon, for the sake of time, just do what she says. We mustn't give our dear princess a reason to complain to her other friends that we made her mad with a HISTORY LESSON! You know, the kind of thing she usually gets excited about" Discord emphasizes. "of all things..."

Discord then replaces his director's hat with a navy captain's hat, and magically produces two oars. "I'm quitting show business altogether, if you all want to reach me, I'll be out sailing the open waters. And do remember, this world won't end until the lesson is done...so try to do a better job....Ta-ta!" Discord waved before paddling through a portal.

"....Of course." Twilight annoyed, looked around. There didn't seem to be an exit anywhere and the children were still watching as if everything was going alright. She just wanted to get this over with. She looked upon the rock candy as she tried to stand upright. "Alright Discord....we're going to stop you and bring harmony and stability back to Equestria!"

Even you couldn't believe Discord just left. You'd think he'd want to stay and see how well you acted as him. Perhaps he's still watching?...You didn't know. "...With what? Rock Candy? Ohhhhh I'm so scared!"

"..It's all I have to work with! Give me a break here!" Twilight barked at you

Cheerilee looked upon her again with concern. "I think he's just CALLING them Rock candy"

"But it IS Rock Candy!" Twilight remarked. She really was taking this too seriously.

"Yes but...in the "reenactment" , they are the Elements...I think "Discord" is just calling them Rock candy because they look like colored rocks." Cheerilee tells her, a little irked with her attitued

Twilight sighed, she was now super annoyed

"...Y'know Twilight. Why do you gotta be serious all the time?" You ask as you lean back onto your throne

"I'm not serious ALL the time!" Twilight felt she wasn't "It's just I got pulled here, out of the blue. Everypony could be in danger and as pr-" Twilight is stopped when a pie hits her face, causing her to lose her balance.

You were licking the cream off your hooves. God....that felt good. "See, that's what I was expecting you to say. Dad already said it. You want this to end? Then just play along"

"Oh that's it...I don't know what's gotten into you Anon...But we're going to have a serious talk when this is all over." Twilight looked at you with a super serious stare as she tried to stand. the cream slowly coming off her face.

"Fine...but can we get this done? My classmates might think something is wrong if we don't wrap this up." You tap your hooves together as you lean to the side, bored with her.

Having power, it felt just like it did in Nightmare Night. With this kind of power, you could really do whatever you wanted. And you were sure you could be more responsible with it this time around. And messing with Twilight? Always..always fun. Sadly, you knew this was temporary. And you didn't let it get into your head too much, or that's how you felt. you also didn't need Diamond Tiara telling you you're being overbearing or something like that when it came to your magical whimsy.

Twilight looked at you with her wobbly legs, still angry. "Mind fixing me first?"

You just gently circle your hoof once in a bored fashion. "Done...Now let's get this over with."

Twilight cleared her throat, tried stepping a few steps to make sure her legs worked, then eyed you with regality and heroism. Similar to that of Celestia herself. "Discord, your tyranny ends now!"

The rock candy began to spin around Cheerilee and Twilight as their horns began to light up. And then, just like with the original elements. They shot out a rainbow blast that flew up and then came down towards you.

"...Ahh shit.." You say in a low near inaudible whine. You were told this wouldn't involve a blasting. But as you covered your face to protect yourself. You could feel the rainbow's rays come down upon you as your body slowly began to turn to stone and the area around everyone began to shift and crumble. The crazy chaotic landscape being broken down into....just outside the classroom. In the back of the schoolhouse where the foals go to play about in recess.

And while everything went back to normal. Cheerilee and Twilight included. There you stood, now frozen in stone. Everyone utterly shocked at what had happened. Guilt, spreading across Cheerilee and Twilight.

"ANON!" Diamond Tiara screamed out, holding out her hoof towards you, as if she could actually stop anything.

The rest of the students were now worried. The hero colt turned to stone? What happened? They figured that’s how Discord was dealt with. given a small lesson Cheerilee had given them before he had freed himself the first time. But this? This was scary.

"A-Anon...oh no..." Cheerilee walked up on the statue. She peered upon your face. It was in utter shock and horror.

"......I...I didn't...I didn't know.." Twilight was was stressing even harder. She was having sealing flashbacks.

The CMC rushed up to the statue of you to get a better look. While Silver Spoon tried to calm a now wailing Diamond Tiara.

"....W-what happened? I thought it was just a lesson" Scootaloo stared into your stoned eyes.

"....Why would Discord let this happen? I thought he really cared about Anon" Sweetie Belle was in honest shock. From what it looked like to her. Discord truly cared about you.

"Twilight, can't ya..whip something up to fix him?" Applebloom asked

"I...I don't know. T-there's a few spells I can try but. They are very specific and..." Twilight didn't finish that sentence, instead, she thought of something that would not worry the fillies so much. Or cause Diamond to fall to pieces. "I just need to get my books to figure something out...."

"What about Discord? Can't you just bring him here to fix this? He NEEDS to fix this...this is...unacceptable" Cheerilee was disgusted with the whole thing. To think that'd she give Discord a chance. How deplorable.

Meanwhile… You were up on a nearby tree, getting your bearings straight as you heard the crying, murmuring, and angry voices of ponies below you. "Now how the hell did I end up here?" You balance yourself on a branch and peer out through the leaves. "Huh....what's going on down there?"

All the ponies seemed to be pretty upset about whatever statue that was supposed to be. "Huh.....Ohhhh..I get it. That's supposed to be me. Welp...I better let them know I'm ok"

But you looked back, then forward, then down...and realized something. "...How the fuck do I get down?....hmnnnn..maybe if I just inch backwards..hopefully..." You start inching backwards down the branch...until you hear a brisk snap. "....Oh...come on...how many times can I take a hit on the heAAAAAAAAA"

The branch snaps as you fall downward, smacking down on your head and tumbling forward next to the group. They haven't noticed you. "...o-oggghhhhh.....I...bet he did that on purpose"

"Anon?!" Twilight gasped as she neared the statue. "You can talk?"

"Of course I can talk....Why couldn't I?" Was she freaking high?

"Anon! Anon...if you can speak..then maybe..I-I know!" Diamond Tiara neared the statue "...Daddy told me a story once, that a beautiful maiden mare once slept due to a curse.....but a kiss from her handsome prince broke it...true love's kiss. M-maybe, it will work..but you know...opposite ways..."

"I've heard that story before too!" Silver Spoon announced "You gotta try it! See if it'll work!"

Diamond Tiara nods, every other pony silent as she puckers her lips and moves in close. and gives your statue a peck on the lips.

"A-Anon?" She then looked upon the statue, then started to tear up, it had done nothing. "Oh no..."

.......Did NO ONE notice you were right next to the group? You sighed, got up, and looked upon the group with utter disbelief. "So...none of you are going to bother to look to your right?"

The entire group lights up as they turn their heads. "Anon?!" They all say, surprised

"ANON! MY KISS WORKED!" Diamond Tiara darted towards you and jumped on you, nuzzling her head under your neck "I KNEW IT'D WORK!"

..And she didn't even seem to care the statue was still standing there.

When Cheerilee realized what happened. She just sighed in relief. She was too relieved that nothing actually went wrong. "...So Discord told the truth after all."

"Hm?...Even if he did. This wasn't ok. We all got scared that Anon was seriously turned to stone!" Twilight was angry. But she could see that the foals were just happy you were ok. She quickly started to balance what Discord actually taught with the nonsense of the final part of the lesson. "I don't even know what to do about this..." Twilight sighed.

"Well...Why don't you tell your friend Fluttershy then?" Cheerilee suggests

"Why? I should be the one to sort this one out" Twilight didn't understand what Fluttershy had to do with it.

"Well, she is Anon's aunt. As officially stated by Discord himself. And since Discord seems to listen to her, it'd make sense to let her know and let her deal with it to the best of her ability. From what I know, Anon seems to look up to her like a mother. I'd like to think she's what balances out whatever Discord teaches him. And even then, it's hard to tell. He seems to randomly teach him good AND bad morals. But he's also never been a problem student...for what little I've had him as one anyway" Cheerilee states

Twilight started to realize how truthful that was. Discord did seem to bend to Fluttershy back at the Gala, and she was rather stern. Considering she had quit being your social worker a long time ago. Just reporting what had happened to Fluttershy should suffice.

"You're right." Twilight spread her wings "I'll just go talk to Fluttershy. and see what she thinks...." Twilight turned to speak to you. But you seemed a little preoccupied with DT at the moment. So...she just flew off. And that’s what struck you odd. As Diamond Tiara cuddled you to oblivion. You could see Twilight just fly off without even a bye. Was she in a hurry?...Then again, you were preoccupied.

After that mess. It was already time for everyone to go home however. They all were happy, even excited though, thinking the lesson was amazing. Cheerilee dismissed everyone, staying cheery and smiling. Applebloom seemed to come close for a moment, wanting to talk to you. But with DT cuddling close, she just backed off...oddly enough however, she didn't seem so hurt this time. Was she just hiding it?...hrnn.

There also seemed to be a few classmates who wanted to talk to you, but backed off as well when they saw DT not ending her nuzzleraid. Was she that scary to approach when it came to you? Only Silver Spoon decided to stay. Cheerilee was busy with any lingering student making sure they weren't traumatized, and checking what they have learned in more detail. She decided to leave you be and "enjoy your nuzzletime".

"Anon! Anon! I got great great news!" Diamond Tiara said as she hopped off you, excited about something. It was cute. She was worried, so you didn't even struggle that time.

But what did she have to say? "What?"

"Well..it's not really news per se...more like an invitation"

Invitation? "What...to your house? Or to some big event?"

"BOTH!" Diamond Tiara hopped up excitingly

Both? A special dinner perhaps?...You did like food. Or maybe it was some kind of "Hero showoff" thing. "Both huh?...umm..what do you mean?"

Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara looked at each other with a smile, then both hopped up "WE'RE GONNE HAVE A SLEEPOVER!"

A...wut? "S-sleepover?" .....That sounded bad...oh so bad...you and her alone?...Oh god....

"Mhmmm! Well...actually.." Diamond Tiara let out an annoying sigh. "I still have to ask daddy. I asked him once for just having you over but he said no. It was weird because he really really likes you. But then maybe I thought it's because he thought maybe you'd feel homesick. So I invited Silver Spoon too."

"Which I didn't mind either way" Silver Spoon explained. "I thought alone time between the two of you would have been romantic. But to hang out is just as good...ohh, but it gets better. Tell him Diamond! Tell him!"

...Ok...having Silver Spoon over might not making things so bad. If anything, she'd hopefully keep things in check. Diamond Tiara giggled. "Ok ok...this is actually the best part! So, I was going to school when I ran into your sister!"

Your eyes went wide....oohh.. no...oh.....oh god no. "M-my sister?"

Diamond Tiara nodded. "Mhmm! And I thought.."Hey! I really gotta talk to her!". She's so great! like you..but like a sister. She said she was super busy, but because it was me, she'd spend some of that time just talking. and so..we talked. And guess what?"

You gulped. "W-what?"

"She came up with an even better idea. She said if I also invited her, then Daddy would definitely agree to letting you sleep over! She said it was some sort of comfort thing and that having an extra family member along might ease his mind. I didn't really get what she meant, but IF it meant inviting you...then of course I'm going for it!" She was so damn ecstatic.

CHRYSAAALLLLIISSSSSSSSSSSSSS. "Diamond...sweetie...my lovely flower" You say this to get her attention, it makes her blush and smile

"Y-yes, my prince?"

".....How about we don't invite my sister? Erm....for...reasons?"

"Reasons? What reasons? She seemed to know what she was talking about" Diamond tiara was sure she was right. even if she didn't understand it.

"Ummm...like..um. She wouldn't be used to, y'know, sleepovers?" Oh god, you were crashing and burning

"Anon....have you ever been to a sleepover?" She asks

"Yes?"

Diamond Tiara peered deeply at you. "Not at Applebloom's...right?"

Oh god...that stare...it was actually scary. "N-no...just...my aunt's"

"Oh..." Diamond tiara giggled. "That makes sense...but don't worry Anon, this is going to be a lot better. You'll see."

"But what if..I dunno...something went wrong? I mean, I'm still getting used to my sister..what if a sibling..fight..thing happens?"

"Hrn? I doubt that will happen. Diamond Tiara and your sister get along so well. It was like they were totally awesome sisters" Silver spoon stated. "I think it'll be fine"

"And I agree...Now Anon, I gotta go and ask Daddy. Then get things ready for tomorrow night because I already know he's gonna say yes! So, you go do whatever you need to do to get ready and.." She gives you a peck on the lips. "I'll see you tomorrow...my prince"

Then she got up and walked over to the statue of you. "Also, I'm going to send a couple of maids to come pick this up. Come on Silver Spoon! We gotta go get everything ready!" Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon then left as you just laid there, eyes wide....goddammit....

Cheerilee then came over to you, noticing you lying still like that. "Anon..can I talk to you for a moment? As a friend rather than a teacher?"

.....Wha huh? "What?"

Cheerilee giggled. "Don't start losing yourself over a little filly Anon..but" She sighed. "This is serious. It's about what just happened. Would you mind having a chat with me? I think it'd help me understand you a little better. I don't mean any offense when I say this. But you are definitely like no other colt I've ever seen."

"Well..." You stood up and brushed your mane back. "I think that's obvious by now. But...what's up? Is it the whole stone thing? Or how I acted? I mean, I was just messing around."

"I figured, but...did you honestly not know your father was going to pull that stunt?" Cheerilee asked, her expression was kind and yet worried

You shrug. "I didn't, I knew he was gonna try something though. I don't see what's so wrong in indulging in a little chaos now and again anyway. It actually seemed to do some good."

Sticking up for Discord? Yeah, that should work. He deserved it..also it might actually butter him up enough if he's secretly watching. Chrysalis might need a big talking to. And you may need his help.

Cheerilee couldn't deny that. "I noticed. And I guess I can't complain. But there's also Princess Twilight, she seemed to have taken things very very hard. It suggests to me that something wrong may have actually happened to spur on your week staying with her."

"It was just Princess Celestia suggesting me and Twilight getting along better after a misunderstanding. Twilight is just uptight about things my dad does. Always thinking he's up to no good, probably even thinking I am becoming like him or something."

"Well that's the thing. Despite what your father has done for the class, he still acted like a nuisance and was very mean about it. And it was concerning that you just played along. It was disappointing actually. And I know I shouldn't get involved, but I care about all my students..even new ones like you, Anon. So, can I ask for your complete honesty for the question I'm about to ask."

What could it hurt? "Sure"

"Do you "Act" around me, your friends, and your fellow students? Do you only pretend to be a good little colt? Now, don't take that the wrong way. I'm not suggesting that you’re actually a bad pony. Far from it, I'm just asking if you only act extra innocent so nopony thinks of you as odd. It's alright Anon, you can tell me. Being a little mischievous or nerdy is perfectly ok, you shouldn't have to hide who you are to make friends, it just gives everypony a false impression. I'd like it if you were you, the real you."

Ohhh goddammit Cheerilee, don't do that shit. You were just getting over faking it, now she was dragging you back into it.

You sigh, and just go with it. You were mostly lying of course. But, you'd get over it better than the truth. Besides, it might do you good to act somewhat more like yourself. That shouldn't hurt anything. "Ok..I'll be real about things from now on. I don't want to cause any trouble"

"I know you don't Anon" Cheerilee gives you a gentle pat. "Now, why don't you go run along and play?"

"I will...but..wait wait. Can I ask one thing?"

"Hmm? sure"

"Do you know where Twilight flew off too?" That part irked you the most right now. Dammit Twilight, you were in a hurry for something.

"Oh, she went to talk to your aunt. She was concerned with how everything went and went to inform her what happened. I'm sure it'll be fine though. Nothing actually went wrong and when your aunt asks for your side, you just tell her truthfully what happened and everything will be ok. I'll even be able to confirm anything you say in case she gets worried about something."

GODDAMMIT TWILIGHT! "Oh.." You chuckle nervously. "That's fine then...well..erm..seeya Miss Cheerilee" You start walking off, and give her a wave.

"Goodbye Anon, and thank you for the interesting lesson. I'm going to go copy down my own notes about it to keep on record. You have a good day, alright?" She smiles and waves back

"Yes ma'am" You walk off after that. Fucking dammit, everything was now crashing down all at once. Chrysalis at one end, Twilight at the other. You find a tree along your walk and hide behind it, and pull your map from your saddle bag.

"Let's see....Damn...I don't see Chrysalis anywhere....hmm? The Captain is out and about though...and......is that the clubhouse?...Ahh fucking dammit!"

You roll up the map quickly and put it away. and start heading towards the CMC's clubhouse. "I swear to god, I really really hope that moron isn't doing anything stupid! I swear! I don't need this right now"

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Cheerilee explodes
Twilight explodes
And Anon eats some seeds.

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