• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,239 Views, 2,757 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 195 - Twilight Week Arc

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Luna sneezes.
Diamond Tiara plays some chess
And Anon does a romance thing

You leave the bedroom, stepping into the hallway. You look back at Princess Celestia before closing the door. Even if your goodbye was genuine, your anger started to grow, you didn't try to stop it though. Your reasoning felt justified. What right did she have to take your horn? You needed the damn thing just in case there was an emergency. Or maybe you would have to fight a big monster. Or just...dammit!

And that was totally blackmail. No way around it. She gave you an ultimatum that would doom Chrysalis if you didn't choose the horn. And you bet that meant not getting a new one either. Or else.... Dammit...it couldn't have been that important, that meeting. She's Celestia, they'd listen to her anyway.

You step towards Luna's door...how stupid could you be? It had a moon on the door itself.
Celestia...dammit. Whatever, this is Luna now. Surely she wouldn't be angry for what you did.
........that's some dumb thinking, isn't it? Who knows? You slowly open the door without knocking, and peer inside.

"Haha! Young Diamond Tiara, now is your doom!" You hear Luna call out. ...What the fuck? You open the rest of the door in a flash and look forward, ready to jump in to battle if you had to. What the hell was.....oh..

You look ahead, Both Diamond Tiara and Luna look at you. A chess board sitting in front of both of them. They were playing chess....Chess.....in horseworld...well..there was also bowling.

"Ahhh Anon! you have come to join in the fun. Good, you will now witness the doom of your fellow friend as I move my queen to E5!" Luna says with a sniff, despite her dark blue coat and flowing mane, you notice she has a red nose, and a box of tissues sat beside her. Alicorns....get colds?

Diamond Tiara looked like she was having fun as well. They were both sitting on the bed to play the game. Luna's room, was actually lit up. though dimly and with a blue tint...to represent the night? huh.

Diamond Tiara smirked at Luna "Yes, after I've beaten you ten times straight"

"A minor set of losses caused by being dazed by my current illness, you will n-" But Luna is stopped as Diamond moves her Rook straight down to a king who could only move right.

"Checkmate" Diamond Tiara calls out

"...and of course, this loss is caused by Anon slamming my door open for whatever reason. I lost my concentration"

Diamond Tiara let out an arrogant giggle "Oh? I guess. Would you like to try one more time? maybe with a little bet?"

......What the fuck is going on? How long have they actually been at it? Ten games? That doesn't sound like too much. What were they doing before? How long were you out?...Goddamnit.

"I am enticed by the very word, what can a filly offer one such as I?" Luna asks, in a regal tone. Very obviously in the groove of things.

"If I lose, all my wins don't count and you'll have a win against me" Diamond Tiara states.

"Interesting, I wouldn't want word to get out that I was bested by a foal in chess. But what if you win?" Luna asks

"I want to use your castle for my wedding. And I want you and Princess Celestia to be there when it happens" Diamond Tiara says, her voice filled with a soft excitement, in a way that the idea made her smile happily, but she kept it contained.

"Oh ho! for one so young, you already have an eye on a suitable colt." Luna seemed impressed. You however....oh good lord Diamond, come on. You're overdoing it.

"mhmm, you could say I have my eye on him right now" Diamond Tiara turns her head to you, looking down at you from the bed with a half lidded, bedroom eye filled smile.

You gulp...Oh lordy.

And that definitely caught Luna's attention as well. Her cheery and competitive demeanor changing to that of questioning her decision "Anon?" Luna then looks at you "Anon is your special somepony?"

"Mhmmm, isn't he the cutest?" Diamond Tiara says, letting out an audible squee. Oohhh good lord.

"U-ummm, Diamond...uhh. I.....I.." You couldn't do it. You couldn't tell her you and her weren't an official couple yet. She was just.....imposing herself into it.

Diamond tilted her head, wondering what you were talking about "What is it?"

....Dammit. But then Luna speaks to Diamond Tiara, speaking to her in a very gentle tone. "Young Diamond Tiara, could I ask you to vacate my room until you are called. I wish to speak to Anon privately"

.....Oohhhh.....ohhhh......ohhh..shit. Why did she have to speak to you privately? Why so sudden?

"Why? wait.....you're not into him too are you?" You could tell Diamond Tiara was now having mixed reactions already. She jumped to her crazy conclusion. And now she was being wary. She'd certainly never backtalk the princess....but you were hers....you were..hers..

Luna let out a hearty laugh. "Fret not, he is much too young. I just wish to have a word wit-ngh.." Luna quickly pulled up a tissue with her magic to sneeze into, and then wipe her nose. "This illness, I curse it to Tartarus! TARTARUS I SAY!....but yes...I'd just like a small talk with him. And then I will take you up on your wager"

Diamond Tiara nodded triumphantly at that notion. "Good" she felt she could take the win easily.

She hops off the bed and looks at you, she then felt a little worried, she didn't know what Luna wanted to talk to you about. So Diamond gives you a little passing nuzzle with her head before stepping out the door.

As soon as the door closes. Luna looks at you, and taps her hoof on the bed. "You look frightened Anon. Please do not worry, I mean what I say when I only wish to talk with you" Another talk...great. What was she going to mention. Your past? Your original age? Or was she sour about what happened too?

"I dunno Princess Luna...I don't think I'm up for a talk right now"

"Hm, it must be due to my sister, correct?"

"Actually, it's just things. But, yeah. Also that."

"Her punishment is not extreme in any way I think. Surely you realize that losing the item you used to intrude upon our castle is a fair exchange, isn't it?"

......even if it was.that horn was something you treasured. "...I guess"

"Do not be childish Anon, we could have done worse" Luna's horn begins to glow as you are covered in an aura, and begin to levitate. ....Ugh..she was going to put you on the bed anyway. And she does so "We could have decided to foalsit you for a week instead of Princess Twilig-" Luna sneezes again, and once again enters a rage. "I SWEAR, I WILL DISCOVER THE ORIGIN OF THIS ILLNESS AND SEND IT AND ALL IT'S FAMILY TO TARTARUS! ALL OF IT!" Luna was groaning, and visibly wincing as she wiped her nose. Her nose must sting from wiping it so much. It actually made you feel sorry for her. Despite her irritation, she was reasonable enough to play games with Diamond...and not hurt you. But..what did she mean by babysit?

"But yes, my sister and I foalsitting you would have been much worse" Luna snaps back to a calm state. though, her voice was nasally.

"I thought you were going to say you could seal me up for a thousand years"

Luna shakes her head "For invading our castle to try to visit one of us? I would never, nor would my sister. You have rather grim thoughts about things. Don't you?"

Grim?...ehhh...no..wait...were you that pessimistic? "I d-don't think so. It just seemed logical since you both have a history of doing that"

"Only the cruelest and most deserving are sealed away Anon....." Luna stops for a moment after that. She was thinking back. Back to when she was Nightmare Moon. And although she still felt bad about it. She had already overcome the Tantabus she herself created. She couldn't let herself fall in despair. "...but, only the most arrogant and....to take it from your friend...cutest colt gets to be foalsat"

W-what...ok, what the hell was she getting at. You nearly blushed when Princess Luna, Princess of the goddamn night, called you cute. "Cutest?"

Oh good lord. Was she actually a filly fiddler like in them eroge comics?

Luna nodded, a smile growing on her face "Of course, in by which I mean we would treat you like a prince."

....What?! No wait, you're used to this by now. "Ok...I see. you're teasing me aren't you?"

Luna sighed. "I would imagine that you are quite the jester at banquets. Yes, I was indeed teasing. But I do speak the truth. You would be groomed to be a prince as a punishment."

...How is that a punishment? "Uhhhhhhh, how is that a punishment?"

"Because somepony such as yourself would fold to being told what to do, how to do it, what to eat, when to eat, and learning various trades while also going through grueling or very boring tasks. Even your linguistic skills would be tested. And given the truth behind your life. You'd be begging for mercy in mere moments." Luna nods to herself as she gazes at you, again, a small smile on her face "Yes, I do believe you'd fail quite miserably"

Eggghhh...you know, losing the horn doesn't sound so bad now. Being a prince sounds like it's pretty fucking shit. Then again...it must be....OH GOD. "D-did.." Your eyes widen in surprise. "D-did you just teach me a moral by teasing me?!"

Luna doesn't nod, she doesn't laugh. Nothing. She gives you a look of that of a mother. A mother who waited to hear what her son had learned. "It depends on you Anon, what did you learn?"

It must be hard to be a princess. You never really considered it. There was so little of them on the show and it didn't seem like they had it too bad. Hell, Luna got to go spook all three of the damn CMC. And Celestia? She always seemed to find some way to spice things up. But hell, since you never seen them do anything truly important. Or the fact they usually job pretty hard to shit. You never thought their day to day life might be difficult. You were mad at Celestia sure. But this is the same Celestia that knows you have bugbutt in your basement. And still, despite your intruding. She only took the horn. And not even permanently as long as you don't fuck up. You just got "End of the episode" moral'd

What did you even have to make a comparison? Nothing. But thinking about it, these two probably do their best to keep Equestria united. Hell, they must be good at it too considering how happy the world is. Sad Twilight seems to suck at it. Or maybe Yaks are just disagreeable most of the time.

Well...you were still angry at the fact you lost the horn. But, ugh....it was no one's fault but your own. "That I was being too arrogant. I shouldn't have imposed while you and your sister were busy. I mean, I knew that. But I guess now...I really know that. I could have done a lot of harm. I never considered the fact that both your jobs and lives were difficult"

"Or could have gotten harmed. Your friend was very considerate not to mention the fact that your clothes are ripped and your mane muddled. I apologize about my guards. They are zealous in their job. But good natured nonetheless."

Ahh shit, that's right. You had a tux on. Or what was left of it. It was torn to shreds. And yet, not a single injury on you. Did they think you had a weapon under your clothes or something? "Ah geez, Rarity worked really hard on this."

"I'm sure she'll understand if you explain the circumstances. But Anon, there is something else I wish to talk about. And I wish to get the subject done with quickly." Luna looked to the door, her competitive spirit was shining through her regal expression "I have a wager to win after all. And I'd like to do it before I must begin my work."

Oh man, good on her for staying dutiful despite a cold. Still.. "...What about exactly?" Here it comes.

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