• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,464 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 125

"Nope, why would it be? it's relaxing. Ponies generally like me. I get a powerful horn and got a cool grappling hook. And best of all, mares think I'm cute"

"And yet, despite you being a perverted little colt. You never make a move. Why is that I wonder? Scared?"

Scared? no..sorta. It's more that you are in the body of the child.
"Too young, you know that. Don't try to spin it into me being a coward. I mean, if you want. I wouldn't mind a little f-"

"Don't even think about it. I'm way out of your league when it comes to going that far. Cuddling? Sure, as long as I get something out of it. Otherwise....no"

Welp, no way you'd ever actually get any poon from her.
"Alright, alright, fine fine....so uh. Now that I've revealed my evil plan that'd I never do. I think it's your turn. What evil plans did you have in queue. Any good ones?

"Only one, because it's pretty obvious the one I had in using you to gain control of Discord was impossible from the very start."

You shrug, yeah, that was never going to work. Discord, whether you really was his son or not. probably wouldn't have bent anyway.
"What is it? A revenge plan against Twilight and her friends?"

Chrysalis laughed, a malicious and mocking laugh at the very words you spoke. "A revenge plan? That's very funny. A revenge plan after having time to properly meditate on my past failures would be stupid. No, instead it's a plan based on what I'm best at. Infiltration and infestation"

"You mean like at Canterlot? I mean, it worked. But, I gotta ask. How many times did you fail before Canterlot due to you getting cocky?"

"I never failed before Canterlot. I didn't have to deal with a gigantic, love fueled, inescapable explosion of magic in my previous campaigns."

You would again point out that would never happen if she didn't get all cocky. But you won't, you didn't want to agitate her.
"Ok, I'll give you that. But, if it's the same plan you always do. Then I don't think you need to explain it to me. You go in, pretend to be somepony else, hive comes in, and you conquer everything from the inside. It's not really creative. I thought you'd have something more interesting."

Chrysalis thought that was a pretty ignorant comment. So what if it was uncreative? The point is, to her, that it would work. "Don't be an idiot. Sure it's not creative. But it works. Besides, I wouldn't be taking some no name town. No, I'd be after bigger game. And of course, by that, I mean Princess Twilight Sparkle herself."

Wait huh? you thought she said this wasn't a revenge plan.

"Uhhh, so it IS a revenge plan? Chrysalis, just to let you know. Twilight suspecting you the first time in Canterlot wasn't a fluke. She's sort of got these paranoid tics and stuff. I don't think this plan would work. She'd probably figure it out sooner or later."

Chrysalis tapped her forehead with her hoof, annoyed that you'd just make an assumption before she even said what the plan was. "Anon, do you mind not talking until after I'm done. It just makes you look like an idiot."

You try to explain to her, calmly, your opinion.
"Hey, I'm just saying. She's so paranoid she almost ruined Ponyville herself once, which..."
You laugh at the irony of it.
"Which funny enough, if you came and took over right there and then. You'd probably be able to suck up so much excess love you wouldn't know what to do with yourself.. You could then t-"

Chrysalis was just staring at you, a hard, dissatisfied, aggravated stare.

"....uhm, I mean."

"Anon...will you kindly shut up. I politely listened to you and I expect the same courtesy"

mnnn, maybe you were being a little too outspoken. But yeesh, you just saw the funny irony in it. You thought she might get interested and ask about what happened. Guess not.
"Alright, alright...I was just trying to bring up something I thought would make you laugh"

Chrysalis nodded, half rolling her eyes in disbelief of anything you had to say about the subject making her laugh. But she didn't continue just yet. "You're going to let me finish?"

You nod slowly. You really didn't mean to agitate her. But of course, you had to consider that she probably doesn't realize that this conversation is supposed to be a fully friendly, albeit evil, conversation.


"Good. So yes, it does involve Twilight Sparkle, but it's not revenge. It's just the fact that she happens to be unlucky enough to reside in a town that I KNOW is brimming with love. The plan itself is simple. Given that I doubt Twilight Sparkle has no actual diplomatic skills. I would become an ambassador of a far off, unknown kingdom that had been destroyed due to harsh conditions and lack of crops. Knowing enough about Twilight to know that she'd never turn down somepony in need. She would no doubt give me a room in her castle while I get the rest of my "subjects" into Ponyville to reside in until plans can be made to help us find a new home. Of course...we would already be right in the middle of it."

Interesting, what's even more interesting to you is that Chrysalis was right about Twilight's shitty diplomacy abilities. She had trouble with the yaks, and for fucks sake. She needed Pinkie to help her with Moon Dancer. This plan could very well work.
"Go on"

"Well, the rest is obvious. Once we have settled in. We'd wait until nightfall. And then, we strike. We capture, imprison, and take what we want from the ponies while I personally deal with the foolish princess herself. Before dawn, Ponyville and all that inhabits it would be ours! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
Chrysalis just started laughing out of nowhere, a mad maniacal laughter. Floating upwards while she spreads her hooves.


what the fuck was that all about?

You just stare at her, this was oddly pretty cute. But that was probably due to the maid outfit.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" She looked down at you while she laughed, and then started to realize how silly she must look. She usually did this on her private planning time. She always got excited when she came up with a good plan. She'd either sing or laugh. And she usually didn't have an audience for it. "Hahaha....ha....hmmm.......hmmm...."
Chrysalis calmly floated back down onto the bed and cleared her throat "Yes..it's a very good plan. No mess, no destruction. Just a new home and plenty of food. That is how you make a proper plan. Yes, you could destroy your enemies. But it takes a special mind to be able to actually make them useful to you. Consider this a lesson if you ever decide to join me."

But you don't say anything to that. Instead, you really wanted to ask about the whole laughing thing. That was just.....what?

"Anon? Surely you have something to say" She was expecting some sort of intelligent answer from you. Then she got an idea, an idea that made her smile. As she arrogantly thought that perhaps her plan was too genius. "Or are you speechless at how great my plan is."


"uhhhh......actually I was wondering why you laughed like that. I mean, you're not getting cabin fever are you?"

"Cabin what? I have no such disease...you know what?!" Chrysalis instantly got angry with you, she didn't like the fact that you called attention to her crazy laughter. "Why did I even bother. You're incapable of understanding the intricacies of espionage,stealth, and trickery. You'd never be able to sew the seed of deception like I can."

was she really just trying to call you dumb because you brought up her laughing? Now who was being childish?

"Actually, I do understand. And like before, there are some major flaws in your plan."

"oh ho" Chrysalis let out a sarcastic titter "Well then mister "I'm a human therefore i'm eviller", tell me my flaws. So I can tell you how wrong you are in painstaking detail"

Oh really, she's gonna let you actually call out the flaws? You didn't know if you should actually proceed. But then you remember she can't do shit to you. and if she wants to treat this a little more serious than it should be. Then fine, let's do it.
"Well first, how are you going to repel an eventual attack from the other princesses?"

"That's simple, by the time they attack. I'll have gathered enough love from all those poor worried ponies that were trying to accommodate us. If I could defeat Celestia before, then I can again. Especially with my hive on my side. We're more than capable of defeating the other three princesses."

You doubted it, but you had no way of knowing how much power she would actually gain from acting like she lost a home. But still... There was one other thing.
"Uhhhhh, even then. Did you forget a certain detail?"

Chrysalis assumed you meant of her current condition. "Anon, I thought we were assuming that I wasn't trapped here."

"No no, that's not it. But it does have to do with who lives here. How exactly do you plan to deal with Discord? It's not like you can just zap him like you could the princesses."

"Why would he care? I honestly don't believe for a second that he actually became good and chained himself to friendship. If you had known him from before Anon, you would think he was a completely different Draconeequs. Just look at what happened with Tirek, I had heard that he flipped sides when it came to him."

"That's because he didn't have a full grasp on friendship yet. And yeah, sure. Maybe he might not care about what you're doing at first. But the moment you hurt "The yellow one". You're done. He will crush you like a...well...a bug."

"Do you really think so?" Chrysalis couldn't fully believe it. "Do you really think he actually cares about that pony? I think he just keeps an act up with her because he doesn't want to be turned back to stone."

You could argue that she was dead wrong, but instead. you'd take this a different angle.
"Let's assume you're right. Let's assume he doesn't care and he let's you just take over. You do realize you have another problem, right?"

"If you mean you, I'd also like to assume that you weren't around. My plan didn't take account for an inter-dimensional visitor."

You shake your head, you didn't mean yourself.
"Nope, I'm still on Discord. Which brings me to your problem. Discord would destroy your plans regardless of if he was good or bad."

"And why would he? He would have plenty of other places to go and wreak havoc. He might even thank me for liberating him."

Nope, dead wrong.
"Chrysalis, I know you've lived a long time. But I've lived with Discord, and I've seen how he is via my TV. If he was still a bad guy. He would make you his pet just because you were making yourself the center of attention. He's not going to let anypony take his limelight. No matter what, you'd be screwed. There's a reason he was sealed up, he doesn't care who you are. You're nothing but a playtoy to him. And if you take his attention away, then he'll just torture you until you either break or he gets bored. Your plan is terrible because Discord, good or bad, wouldn't let you have it."

"......." Chrysalis had nothing to say to that, she heavily thought. "...Then can we assume that he isn't present?"

Haha! what's this now? It seemed Chrysalis was faltering on her own set of plans. Did she really think Discord would just leave her be?

" Come on Chrysalis, all that boasting and you’re fumbling right now.You can't just change things to suit your needs because things wouldn't go your way otherwise. Isn't that....kind of childish?"

You noticed Chrysalis's eye twitch as she stood up on the bed and loomed over you "Did you just say I was acting....childish?"

you stare right back, at first you were intimidated. But you knew....you knew. You had nothing to worry about. So you begin to smirk
"You're the one who likes to change into a bug filly, toots"

"YOU IMPERTINENT SLUG! YOU WANT CHILDISH?! THEN I'LL TANTRUM RIGHT ONTO YOUR FACE! TAKE THIS!"

Chrysalis brings her hoof right above your face. And brings it crashing down onto your face.

Of course, with the magic of the house still in place. She goes flying from the bed and smacks into a wall, sliding down from it slowly.

Geez, you didn't expect her to lose her cool so damn fast. Poor girl, she definitely was more edgy due to being stuck in the house. You knew she had the cabin fever. Why else would she partake in this conversation with you?

You crawl to the end of your bed, dragging your half cocoon blanket from your lower body with you. You then reach your hooves out to the edge and pull yourself up so you can look at the fallen bug queen.
"Chrysalis? You ok?"

You intended to be smug. But instead you were worried, that was a damn hard hit. And you didn't know if Discord accounted for broken necks.

Chrysalis blew some of her mane out of her face and looked up at you. "Yes....I'm just having an internal crisis right now."

She just stared up to the ceiling. Unmoving. "....I can't believe I'm stuck here. Even when he lets me out...I'll still be stuck here."

......awww
"Hey, it's not so bad. You got a good home now. Nothing to worry about really. And you got a food source. And you got all your hive with you."

Chrysalis just continued to stare at the wall. Her wings flittered, despite her not actually moving. "....but what's the point? I'm at the mercy of that fool. my desire to rule Equestria has been utterly destroyed. I'm nothing but a toy now."

oh god....she was looking more depressed by the second. Hitting the wall like that must have made her realize how futile it was to actually try anything malicious.
"Hey...come on. Don't be like that. Maybe if you act good and nice, Discord will let you have more freedom."

"...If you both hadn't caused my hive to be sealed in the first place, then I wouldn't be in this mess."



Chrysalis slowly turns her head towards you, her expression near expressionless, but still filled with sorrow. "I really do want to destroy you"


Well, that wasn't good. She probably meant it too. But she was so hopeless that she couldn't even act enthused about crushing you. Poor thing.


"I know you do, here...give me a second."


"Whatever..." She just continued to stare at the ceiling.

You wiggle out of your blanket cocoon and hop off the bed. You didn't know if you should be doing this. But...
You carefully walk up to her side. and like a small cat. Curl up and cuddle into it.

Chrysalis turned her head to you. Confused by your actions. "What are you doing?"

"What's it look like? I'm cuddling up with you and being all carey. You don't want an extra snack?"

Yeah, you felt sorry for her. Enough that you didn't even want to insult her further. She wasn't you. She didn't want to live here. And a bug pony like her probably doesn't do well being kept in captivity. She's probably never even had anyone feel bad for her like this. At least...not while she was in her normal form. You'd even be willing to let her drain you a little if it made her feel better and helped with the friendship. You weren't kidding when you said you wanted to try. Even if you did sort of lie about wanting to reform her.

Chrysalis just turned her head however "I don't need your pity, just leave me here to sulk...alone"

Nope, just like she played the cute filly bug for you. you were going to try the reverse, and be the cute colt that everyone tells you you are.It'd be fun. She'd probably find it annoying, but how long could she resist until she gave in and started feeding?

You got up on your backlegs and put yourself right on her tummy. The feeling was odd. it was warmer there than anywhere else on her body. Her green chitin must give off warmth, even through the outfit.

You resumed your cuddling.

"Will you stop? I refuse to drain your love on the account that it's pity. Why don't you just go and torment somepony else?"

You climb higher onto her and look at her face. God, she was in such despair. So you reach your hoof. and give her a gentle boop on the nose.
"You got a cute nose, you know that?"

"And you've got an annoying everything. Why don't you act your age?"


"Because this is my age"

Chrysalis looked at you, and then narrowed her eyes "You know what I mean"

But you only answer back by giving her a kiss on the nose. and then giving her a happy smile.

She doesn't even react physically, she just continued to speak in a deadpan voice"Are you insane?....I thought you didn't want to be drained."

"I didn't, but I had time to recover and think it over more rationally. You said you're my friend right?"

".....I guess"

"Then I trust you, evil or not. A friend is still a friend."

Chrysalis sighed and looked at the ceiling "You're so naive. You do realize that if I had a chance to betray you in trade of my freedom. I wouldn't hesitate, right?"

You roll off her belly and walk up to her neck, you position yourself, and rest your neck on hers. and settle yourself down in a restful position.
"I do, but I bet if we became better friends. We'd...."

Chrysalis cuts you off "I'd still betray you...I wouldn't care"

"Ahh...but that's the thing. I think you would. Maybe not enough to give up your freedom, but you'd probably destroy me painlessly to spare me the pain."

Chrysalis's voice began to have a little emotion into it. a bit of amusement in it. "That's very morbid. Makes me wonder what really goes on in that head of yours."

"Things...I'm not a pony. I'm capable of thinking of a whole load of things, both evil and good."

"So you've said...." Chrysalis started laughing all of a sudden, and then calmed down. She had a funny thought. "How insane....I want to see you befriend somepony like Sombra. I really would. I'd pay to see somepony like him actually have a friend."

hmm? Now that's curious.
"How much do you know about Sombra?"

Chrysalis chuckled again, she didn't know if she was going insane or not. But she now felt, for real. That she was having a bonding moment with you. and it was driving her nuts. She just wouldn't admit it. "Sombra? hmmm, not the kind of pony that works well with others. I met with him a few times. The first few times was for an alliance. But he was so arrogant in our meetings. I still remember his words.. "Your kind is useless to me, you're not even worth fooling into an alliance just to be betrayed later when I'm done with you." “

"Wow, I guess if you were part of some alliance though. That you'd had been sealed up with him, so you kind of dodged the bullet there....but. I thought you didn't really team up with other bad guys."


"I don't, I was going to use him to further my own conquest. He was too powerful to just leave on his own."

You chuckle
"Well, that's ironic isn't it?"

"hush.....anyway. Sombra only ever held one banquet, he invited me, and many other unseemly types to his castle. As it turned out, it wasn't the kind of party we were expecting."

"What? was it a trap?"

"If only. He did it to boast that not even we would be safe from his eventual rule. I find that more insulting than a trap. Of course, a few attacked him right there and then. Those that did found themselves turned to crystal and thrown out of his kingdom. He didn't even find them fit for his garden."

"...wow, now that's fucking ruthless. What I knew of Sombra, he just seemed like a generic villain."

"Maybe in your world. But he was actually fairly intelligent. I knew about how he hid the Crystal Heart. I didn't know where it was, nor did I care to find it since the princesses had went to deal with him. But for it to be found after his return? I detest saying this. But I will give it to Twilight Sparkle, the fact she managed to find it using dark magic was something I would have never expected....and you will never tell anypony I said that. Or else I will roll you on the ground for hours on end. Not like I have much else to do."

"I won't tell anypony. As your friend, I will keep any secret you tell me."

"Even from Discord?"

You lift your head and nod
"Mhmm, even from him......unless you plan to do something TO him or my friends. Can only go so far when it comes to you and me. You understand right?"

Chrysalis sighs "I don't, but I'll keep that in mind....anyway. It's probably a good thing Sombra is gone anyway. He was nopony's friend, and he was far worse than Tirek. Tirek is only a threat if you actually let him get that powerful. Sombra was so powerful that the only thing that could really stop him is the Crystal Heart."

"And it did. He's gone. Which you're right. It's probably for the best. I could only imagine what Equestria would be like if he had his way."

"I don't need to imagine. I saw what his empire was actually like. If he conquered the world. It'd just be his empire multiplied by one hundred. a wasteland of horror and despair. And not the kind a changeling could handle.....hmmm.."

"What's the matter?"
You noticed she sighed, and went back to just staring blankly at the ceiling.

"....I feel better..."

...woah.
"You do? really?"


"Mhmmm..I don't know what it is. But I don't feel.....so much hopelessness as I did before."


...hey..that actually sounded great. You actually felt proud that you helped, and glad that she was feeling better.
"That's awesome Chrysalis, see? Is it so bad having a friend?"

"No...I suppose not. In fact....."
Chrysalis quickly rose up as your head slides off her neck and hits the floor. Before you even realize what's going on, she put her hoof gently on your side and rolls you onto your back.
”I think I will take you up on your offer" She licked her lips as she looked down at you with a smile.


......well shit

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