• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 103

You step into your room. What a mess. You take a look around now that it was unoccupied.
Goop, everywhere. You find the charred remains of the picture frame that had the "Chrysalis" picture in it. You also find a few mechanical chunks.

"...Ahh dammit..." You find the wrecked remains of your alarm clock. You didn't even notice that it also fell victim to the blast. What a waste of a charge.

You still wondered if this was a good idea. It was clear she was still going to mess with you. But to what degree? Sisterly? Like a rival? Or just treating you like an insignificant bug because she didn't know any other way? Just thinking about it was depressing you.

You needed a pick me up. Maybe that would help you look at things more optimistically. Who could you visit? You open the portal door to the first setting. It was already sunset. But it still gave you some time to work with.

Hrnn… Sunset. Sunset leads to Twilight. Twilight Sparkle? Maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea. You haven't visited her for personal reasons. But you could now. Maybe interacting with her one on one could help improve the whole "Social worker" situation. Despite Discord not really worrying about it unless it was called to attention, you were always thinking that Twilight could one day actually just go without telling anyone and find out the truth if she ever got suspicious about anything.

But if you went and spoke with her one on one. You could perhaps make it that she'd never decide to go at all. Discord could only keep her preoccupied with fake letters for so long. You knew Twilight, she could be a snoop about certain things. And this could be one of them.

Then after that, maybe you could swing by Fluttershy's again for cuddles and cocoa. Then you'd be ready for Chrysalis. Of course, you still needed Discord to turn up. You had to give him that invitation. You walk through the portal door, and head to Twilight's castle.

As you trotted over to the castle. You began to think your little future endeavor was actually a good idea. Once Twilight sees how happy you are living with Discord. She might end the whole "Social Worker" thing altogether. Then no one would have to worry about shit.

...Egh, that castle was still pretty unsightly though. Especially when compared to the town.

As you approached the castle doors. You had hoped Twilight wasn't busy. Well, it wouldn't be too bad. That just meant you could head straight to Fluttershy's.

Before you even knock though, you try pushing the door in. It moves, the door opens.

You shake your head. "I swear, Starlight is probably just gonna barge in or something. I'd bet fifty bucks on it."

You walk inside, cautiously, because if it wasn't a security issue. It could be someone had actually barged in. You slowly enter the Cutie Map chamber.

You look around, She didn't appear to be here either. But there was a dragon. Spike however, was asleep. He was sleeping on Twilight's chair. Cute, but you didn't come here for him. Where could she be?

Oh wait… didn't the castle have a library? You decide to look around. You couldn't exactly remember if it did. Last time you got to go any further than the cutie map chamber ended up in you being put in a ball and tossed down some stairs.

You decide to head into another room, and then another… and then another. Damn, every room you went into was NOT a library. but either more hallways or it led back to the Cutie Map chamber. The place was a maze. Then again, why wouldn't it be? It sprung out of the ground. It was like being in the Deku Tree if it decided to be a Transexual.

You could head up the stairs. Looking along them, it had more rooms. You decide to go down the hallway that had the stairs, being careful as to not wake the slumbering dragon.

You take the first door to your right on the second floor corridor. BINGO! Library.

It was sort of depressing, now that you thought about it. This wasn't as comfy or nice looking as the old Golden Oaks library. R.I.P. Golden Oaks. But the library too was empty. Not of books. The ones in the bookcases were neatly organized. There was only only one book out, left open on a table.

You step inside anyway. Intrigued on what she could have been reading. As you step closer to the open door. You hear girlish murmuring coming from the book itself. It sounded like...
oh wait… that spell from Amending Fences. She was probably using it right now. And was in that book.


"Spike? Is that you?" You hear her voice coming from the book.

"No it's, er. Me. Anon"

"Anon?... Huh?" Twilight sounded really confused, enough so that she immediately popped out of the book she was reading. "Anon? What are you doing here? Did something happen?" She was worried, no doubt jumping to conclusions.

"Oh… um, no no" You shook your head. Seeing her pop out of a book was pretty rad. But, seeing her reaction to you calling for her instantly made you want to ease her mind. "I just wanted to come by for a visit. I didn't bother you did I?"

Twilight held off from saying yes. She was relaxing herself, reading deep into a book she was enjoying. But given she was your "Social Worker"... "No, I was just doing some studying. I can catch up on it later." Twilight looked behind you, expecting Spike. "Anon, did Spike let you in?"

You shook your head. "No, I just let myself in. The doors were unlocked."

Seriously? Does she not realize how super easy it is to barge into her own castle? She needs royal guards or something.

"I see." Twilight rubbed her hoof along under her muzzle. She was thinking deeply. "I think I might have to put a special locking spell on my front door. Hrnnn"

She thought?! Oh christ Twilight. What has happened to you between seasons? You'd think after nearly two seasons of having the castle that'd she would have had some sort of security.

No, fuck it. You had to ask her why she didn't before. "Twilight, I hope you don't mind me asking" You give her a cute and innocent look. "But why is your castle doors always unlocked?"

"Well..."Twilight stopped. She… never actually thought of having them locked. Besides Tirek. She was never in any danger that she could think of that required locking them. She felt since she was the Princess of Friendship, that the doors should be left open for anyone who wanted to come inside and meet with her or her friends for the sake of friendship matters "Anon, as the Princess of Friendship. It is my duty to leave my door open for all who seek my help."

You kept your cute expression, but you were having trouble making sense of Twilight. "Then why put in a lock?"

Twilight's next words had a hint of irritation while still remaining pleasant. "Because I didn't expect anypony to actually just step inside without knocking first. It's common courtesy Anon. But not to worry, my spell will still leave the door unlocked. You just need to at least knock a few times before you can enter. That way, it'd give either Spike or myself a chance to open the door."

That still sounded like a shit idea. But whatever, it wasn't your castle. "That sounds like a great idea Twilight! I would have never thought of something so clever." You make a cheerier smile, that's it Anon, feed into her ego.

Twilight felt pretty proud of herself for thinking of the solution so quickly, even moreso from your comment. "Well, thank you Anon. But it was actually a very simply solution. So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

...Errr… You actually didn't think this all the way through. "Stuff..."

"What kind of stuff?"

You didn't actually know what you'd talk to her about. You didn't want to just go in and say "HEY THINGS ARE GREAT AT HOME!". You wanted to ease into it. As you began to get more nervous, your eyes began to trail away from Twilight's.

Twilight was at first, confused. But as she saw that you were getting nervous. And then looking around. She thought she had figured it out. "Ooohhhh… I get it"

Get what? "Huh?"

Twilight giggles "You don't need to act shy Anon, I'm not going to make fun of you because you like books. I don't know if you knew, but I'm actually a big book enthusiast myself!"


"I...would have never guessed." You chuckle nervously.

"Come on, don't be shy. If you came here to discuss books. Well, you came to the right mare! So Anon, what books do you like to read?" Twilight seemed pretty eager to talk books with you. You wondered why. Was it specifically you? Or did she just get off on talking books? You did have one you were reading. Though, you hadn't read it in awhile.

"Daring Do, I've actually been reading the first book."

Twilight smiled at that, she did love Daring Do after all. "So you just started? That's great! I actually happen to have the entire collection… after having it replaced. Aha. But look, see. Right up there" Twilight pointed to the highest point of one of the bookshelves. Up there was the Daring Do books. Neatly organized in it's own little spot.

You felt another hit of sadness. Knowing she had to replace her whole collection due to Tirek. "That's pretty neat Twilight. I think I might have the whole collection back at home. Dad was the one who gave me the first book. But I've been… well… sorta adjusting to my new life that I haven't had time to read through it all." This could work. Just talk books and whatever else makes Twilight happy and you’re good to go.

"Well, that's... actually really generous of him. He didn't tell me in any of the followups that he provided you reading material." Twilight seemed to be taking a mental note of it. She was thinking upon it. She at first, wondered why she wasn't told. But your prior nervousness told it's own story, even if it was wrong. She took it as Discord "honoring" your wishes and not letting anyone know you liked reading books. Even though that assumption was wrong.

"Well, you know Dad, He can be a little weird sometimes."

"A little weir-" Twilight was about to insult Discord, but the moment you looked up at her. she stopped. Internally she was fighting herself to just try to accept that Discord wasn't doing any kind of ruse. How could he? Everything seemed legit. "Ahrm, well Anon. Speaking of your father. How have you and him been lately?"

Twilight was going to at least try to have this talk with you. You were alone. No influence from Discord whatsoever, no chance at all. To her, your health and welfare was the most important thing, since she put herself responsible for it. And that would be easy enough for you to answer.

"Really good in fact! Look!" You reach into your saddle bag. The bag itself a little scuffed up from your spat with Chrysalis. But nothing major. You pull out Discord's invitation envelope and show it to Twilight. "See? Even inviting him to my party that Pinkie is throwing for me. You got yours too right Twilight?"

Twilight nodded "Mhmmm, I didn't know it was for your party though."


"You didn't? Didn't Pinkie tell you what the party was?"

Twilight cringed. That wasn't the case at all. "Well, actually Anon. Spike was the one who brought me my envelope. He didn't say what it was for, and I was kind of busy… reading to er… open it."

That sounded like her, but it wasn't like she wasn't going to open it eventually. "Why are you nervous Twilight?"
You give her a gentle hug. "You were going to open the envelope eventually, right?"

Twilight was afraid you were going to be disappointed that she hadn't taken the time to look at the invite. Any regular child would have. Pinkie herself would have probably been devastated. But your reaction was very understanding. Very unexpecting. She was eventually going to look, it wasn't like she was going to ignore it. She actually felt a feeling of relief from your reaction.

She returns your hug with a hug that was just as gentle. "I was, I just get a little caught up in my books sometimes.You're not upset at all? Really?"

You end the hug and shake your head. Even if you were taking this seriously.Why would you be upset? It's not like she wasn't going to show up at all. If she did, she wouldn't have to worry about you. She'd have to worry about Pinkie and either her shower of anger or shower of sadness… or both, in a huge storm of emotion.

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