• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,514 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 287

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Discord gets worried.
Anon falls.
And Starlight is happy.

The only real problem with seeing Starlight was dealing with Scrappy. Since NONE of the ponies there were Applebloom's friends, bringing him would probably cause some trouble. Maybe you could just convince him to stick around. "Hey Scrappy, since Scootaloo is still in school, why don't you hang around in my room while I go see a friend of mine."

"School? Oh right, I remember the school. I know Master Applebloom goes there too, so does Sweetie Belle. I don't mind waiting, I know how it works. Can I go to the clubhouse instead? I don't want them to find their presents before I have a chance to show it to them. Every changeling knows the element of surprise is a big thing, and I want to make my friends happy with a surprise. And..." Scrappy, whenever he remember's Scootaloo's current attitude towards him, just fell apart whether it was noticeable or not. He just sighed and looked down. "Hopefully have the forgiveness of Scootaloo..."

Come on Scrappy, you can do it...Just be a little more patient. "It'll be alright, and yeah, I don't mind. Whatever is gonna help you through this. In fact." You walk over to the portal door and open it to the clubhouse. "Check this out, you can use the door to get to the clubhouse whenever you want. Isn't that neat?"

Scrappy looked over, hopped off your bed, and looked through the door. He was in awe. "Wow! That's neat! Now I don't have to keep sneaking through town! But..." Scrappy sighs, AGAIN thinking back to Scootaloo.

But as he looked at you with a frown, you gently put your hoof on the shoulder of his front right leg. "Scrappy, relax. Trust me, we'll get this fixed when the time comes. You still have a few hours. Why don't you hide the presents and just think about how happy they'll be when you give it to them. And yes, this includes Scoots. Because trust me, if it's one thing that makes her happy, it's anything Rainbow Dash related. And I know you know that too. So relax, alright? You already know her enough to make her happy with just that kind of gift."

"...O-ok" He looks upon the clubhouse, then back at you. " Anon, can I ask you a question?" Those big blue bug eyes, he was still depressed. He was still worried. He was actually looking upon you for support as they glassed up from his tears.

"What is it?"

"....Can I h-have a hug? Hugs always make me feel better. P-please?" He holds out his forelegs at you, waiting for your embrace.

Their friendship really meant a lot to him. And you were sure, just dead sure, Scrappy was the kind of guy who'd sacrifice himself to save them. So even the idea of losing them torments him more than perhaps Twilight when she's tardy. "Yeah"

You reach your your hooves out for him and give him the most compassionate hug you can. He really needed it. Gentle head rubbing and all. He went through the portal after that, seeming just a little more confident to face what, if everything goes right, should actually be pretty non issue. You really hoped it'd be.

Now, as you set the dial, it was time to see Starlight again. You wonder how'd she react when you told her you found Sunburst. Oh boy, she might turn into more of a wreck than Scrappy right now.

It seems the portal takes you a short trot away from town. Not too bad. You'd rather start just outside than just appearing out of nowhere while inside, it could spook some of the townsponies. Now, all you had to do is find Starlight. Shouldn't be too hard. You also wondered how she's doing. The last few times you visited her she was a wreck. But hopefully, with the newfound friendship of the mane 6, she should be a lot better.

You sigh and prepare to take your first steps. "Here we go..."

“Indeed, this will hopefully be yet another fun filled adventure." A smooth, silky, and familiar voice calls out from an unknown position.

Why was he even here? "Discord?" You take a look behind you. Discord was leaning against a boulder, giving you a cool look, wearing some sunglasses.

"That would indeed be my name, Anon. So, I see you decided to actually take it upon yourself to take the trip. That's good, I've been itching to go on another friendship adventure with you. I think.." He stands upright as he walks past you, tapping at his chin. "The last time we did this, we helped that sourpuss of a mare that happened to be related to your little marefriend. Ahh yes, that was fun. So many ponies we messed with that day." He grins at you a sly grin. "Now, what's the plan this time? Who do we have to toy with to get to where we need to go?"

That's right. Way back when, you and Discord had gone on a couple of friendship adventures. The first not being successful, the second being mostly skill, luck, and lots of bullshit. This time though? He wasn't really needed. The only issue was just bringing Sunburst up. "Nopony actually, this is just a straightforward talk with Starlight."

"What? Hold on, Anon..." Discord just looks at the town with one of his talons in his mouth, confused, then points to the town itself. "So you're telling me that we don't have to get past a single pony to get to where we need to go? You're telling me there's not one pony we need to persuade into giving us the information we need? What kind of friendship adventure is this supposed to be?!" He threw his arms up in the air, finding the whole thing ridiculous. "How are we supposed to face heralding trials that can only be solved through quick wits and the ability to toy with our foes if there's no trials to be had?!"

"It's not about fun, Discord, it's.." And you couldn't really tell him to fuck off either. He did genuinely help you before with these kinds of things. Even if this case didn't have the obstacles the others did, maybe letting him come along wouldn't be so bad. "It's just about helping a friend. I didn't know these adventures even meant THAT much to you, I just know you kinda liked them."

"Anon..." Discord stops, turns away, and looks up to the sun, trying to act aloof. "We're partners, aren't we? Helping each other is what partners do. With adventures like these, it mutually benefits the both of us. For you, it fixes a problem. For me, it's an opportunity to toy with ponies without anypony being the wiser or chastising me. And failure on any and all of these two would make the entire trip a huge disappointment. You know I like you. And just for you, I'm willing to look past the fact that we're spreading harmony because I'm helping you. Just like I'm willing to look past Fluttershy's more orderly habits because of how simply wonderful she is. Sometimes I'll even indulge her in it, like when we have our Tuesday Tea. So yes, I do like these adventures. So surely, you must have something for me to do. Something requiring my area of expertise"

You couldn't think of any. But, it did warm your heart that he actually did care that much. Even if some of it was for selfish reasons. "Sorry Discord. But, ya know, if you want to tag along still, I don't mind. I bet Fluttershy would love to know you did some good without causing anything chaotic to happen."

Discord smirked at you as he gave you a gentle pat on the head. "Nice try Anon, but I don't need Fluttershy's approval ALL the time. I'll accept your offer, but I will play a trick or two if I find an opening."

Oh, is that it, huh? Well then, looks like he needed a reminder that you too could play his game. You didn't mind his company, but chaotic shit at this time would be a disaster. "I figured, but you sure do bend like a twig when she finds out you did something bad, don't you?" You smirk at him. Wiggling your own eyebrows at him to further clarify your intent.

"Hmmm?! You'd tell on your own father Anon? Bad form! Bad form indeed!" Discord crosses his arms and looks at you with an annoyed stare. "We're both beings of chaos. You can't tell me you wouldn't want to cause a little trouble."

"I wouldn't mind if I could get away with it. Problem with that is ponies from Ponyville know me so it's kinda hard to cause any kind of trouble there. And here? Yeeeeah, I'd rather not cause any trouble for Starlight. So, unless you have a target that deserves it that ISN'T FUCKING SOMBRA. Or, maybe a place where they don't know me like Manehatten or something where we can cause maybe a little trouble. Then no, we can't cause trouble. I don't want it. Hell, If you really want it that bad, we can go fuck with Snips and Snails. they fucking deserve it, as long as they don't realize it's me that could be fine too. But if you cause any trouble here. I'll tell Fluttershy"

Discord taps his chin at those words. He doesn't say anything as he ponders. He then steps a few steps away, having his back faced towards you. "So what you're saying is. I can't cause any trouble of any kind on purpose."

"Yes, and no tricks either"

"Yes, yes...no tricks either. No chaos magic whatsoever. Just you, me, and solving this problem. Is that what you want?" He says without changing direction.

"Uhhh..." That was kind of suspicious...or maybe, he actually understood. "Yeah..that would be nice. I mean, you can help too if you have any suggestions or want to give words of encouragement or something."

"That does seem keen, Anon, simply wonderful. But...you may have some fears that I may be lying, sooooo." Discord turns around and holds his paw out towards you as he gives you a gentle smile "We'll make a deal. I'll be your companion for this venture, if I am allowed to abstain from using magic. No, unable to use magic of any kind."

Wuh? Shouldn't it be the other way around? No...wait...uhhh.. He was being suspicious. Or maybe he just wanted to be seen as forced to do it so he doesn't seem soft. Yeah, that's probably it. Aww, what a nice guy. He was gonna help out and be nice for you. You were sure Fluttershy would be happy when she finds out about it. "Deal!"

You reach your hoof out and shake his paw. But the moment you do, Discord winces in pain as he glows for a moment. The glow gets stripped out of him and turns into a ball before exploding.

Not only was that one hell of a surprise, but Discord was looking slightly more pale and kind of tired.

"WHAT IN THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!"

"Simple, we made a deal. I am now powerless to do anything. And I must be your companion for this little venture."

...What in the...WHY?! "What..What the..Discord, why would you do that to yourself?! That's insane!"

"Oh, no that's nothing. Being powerless means I'd have to follow you around as is. The insane part is the fact that I'll turn into dust and disappear forever if we fail." He gives a quick cough before looking at you with this pretentious looking grin.

This crazy fucker. This was distressing to you. It drove you nuts. Just...WHY?! "What the hell is wrong with you?! So what? Why?! For what purpose?! Because you didn't get your way or something?! Do you realize how ridiculous that is?! Do you realize how sad Fluttershy will be if something happens to you?!"

Discord does a few stretches then grips his talons. "I'm the spirit of chaos, Anon, sometimes what I do has no good reasoning behind it. And besides, it's not how Fluttershy would take it. It's more how she would react towards you for being so irresponsible as to let me turn to dust." He was being rather calm about this.

You just spaz out as your put your hooves to the side of your head from the sheer craziness of it. "ARE YOU AN IDIOT!? THIS ISN'T GUARANTEED YOU FUCKING..GODDAMMIT! DISCORD! YOU COULD ACTUALLY DIE FROM THIS!"

"I'm not too worried. I'm sure you'll be able to help your friend. I just wanted a good reason to come along. Oh yes, and since I can't use my magic. Everypony will have to see me as I am. Hmm, yes. I wonder how'd they react towards my presence." Discord snickers as he looks towards the town.

..No..way… "D-did you s-seriously put your own life on the line...f-for that?" You couldn't even yell...that was too...profound. It was just too stunning to scream anymore.

"I did!" He says with a childlike joy in his voice. "Now we mustn't dawdle. I can only spend so much time like this before I...Bite the dust" He chuckles to himself with a small cough as he walks towards the town.

Good god...Now his entire fate rested in your hooves because he decided to be a goddamned insane idiot. You had to hope Starlight was in the shed right at the edge of town. It would make things easier then.

However, as you both approach the shed and open it up. Starlight was nowhere to be found.

"Oh goodie! That means we get to ask the townsponies where your friend is at. Now won't that be fun?" Discord says with a giddy excited voice.

"...You don't have to be an asshole about it, you know. You already have all my nerves smashing into each other." You said with an aggravating droning tone. God, you were pissed.

"Me? Acting in such a way? No, Anon, you misunderstand." He shrugs, as he explains his "actual" reasoning to his removal of his magic. "I'm doing this to learn how to solve friendship problems like Twilight would. In no way am I doing this to cause any trouble. Of course, there is the huge penalty of failure. But that all depends on you. Oh look! There's a few fillies over there!" Discord grins as he walks over to them. They immediately freak out and either run home or towards their parents, who go and hide in their houses. Discord just rubs his chin, confused "Now what do you think that was about?"

....Uuughhhh… "I dunno, it might be because they saw a really scary and very stupid monster walking up to them..."

Discord looked around in wonderment. "Really? Where?" He put his paw over his eyes to cover them from the sun. "I don't see any monster around."

....Uuuugggghhhh… You groan as you put your hoof to your face. First he gives you more places to go to as a reward. Then he pulls this shit. "Can you just...not just go scaring ponies?"

"Are you saying I'm a scary fellow, Anon? Pfft, please. They were obviously scared at the hookie-playing colt. That's you by the way." He points and pokes playfully at your nose. "The idea of missing school scares them."

Oh, you can tell. He was really pressing your buttons now. How the fuck does that even work? Kids hate school. "THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! THEY WEREN'T IN SCHOOL EITHER! IT'S OBVIOUS EITHER SCHOOL IS OVER FOR THEM OR IT'S AN OFF DAY OR SOMETHING! DISCORD, I SWEAR! I'M GONNA SLAP YOUR S-GYAH!" Suddenly you hear a sharp yelling right from behind you, making you jump in fright so high that Discord had to catch you.

That dark blue pegasus with the white windblown mane was right behind you, shouting "Ok! What's going on here?! Woah...what is that thin-" Suddenly, she gets battle ready as she notices you in Discord's arms. "HEY! LEAVE THE FILLY ALONE! OR YOU GOTTA TANGO WITH ME!"

Discord snickers. "Hehe, filly..."

You wanted to kill yourself right now. This was just getting worse by the second. You also had to stop this from happening. "WOAH! WOAH! WAIT! Hey! You're Night Glider, right?! It's me, Anon! Remember?! Don't attack! Gimme a second." You struggle out of Discord's arms and fall right on your head. Your face going right into the dirt.

Night Glider cringes from your crash landing. But she also immediately recognizes you the moment she got a better look at you. "Anon?! Sheesh, is that you? You ok? W-what is this thing?" Night Glider went and helps you up onto your hooves.

You had to spit some of the dirt out of your mouth and wipe your face as you look up at Discord with an angry look before looking at her with a false sense of calmness. "I'm fine..Night Glider, look, I don't have time t-"

"What?! How can you not know who I am?! I'm world famous! The cream of the crop of magic users! The ultimate chaotic being! You know...it's..." Discord starts beckoning her, rolling his talon along, his arm outstretched, trying to get her to remember his name.

"Oh...it talks. Uhhh, so...it's from the circus or something?" Night Glider wondered.

Discord's eye started to twitch. "How dare you! I am no mere circus clown. Take this!" Discord starts waving his paw and talons at her...but nothing happens.

"Uhhhhh....creeeeepy" She just looks away from Discord. Finding him uncomfortable. "Is...he ok?"

You'd laugh if the situation wasn't so dire. "He's just kinda sick and out of his mind right now. Night Glider, look. I don't have a lot of time, do you know where Starlight is?"

"Uh, yeah...uhh" Even though she found him creepy, she couldn't help but eye how odd he looked. It was clear she had never seen Discord before. "Are you here to show her your talking pet? Because I dunno, it's kinda freaky."

"Listen hear you ignorant winged guppy. I'm Discord, the LORD OF CHAOS! Surely you've heard of me. As I said..WORLD...FAMOUS!" He points to himself, as it was the only way without magic to somehow show his importance.

"Ohhhhh...you're....Anon's dad. You're that guy. Huh..." Night Glider moves close to you to whisper in your ear. "So, like...is he crazy sick or something? I mean, I've heard of your dad before. But I thought he was powerful. He just seems kinda crazy, like...old stallion in a home crazy."

And as dire as the situation was. That forced a small snicker out of you. "Y-yeah, he's like this when he's 'out of his mind' with sickness. Told him to stay home, but he wanted to follow me around like a small puppy because he didn't want to be home alone."

"A small puppy?" Discord was now realizing the tables had just turned against him. And he'd have none of that. "Pardon me, son, but is it not 'Normal' to just want have some 'Father-son' time? You should be ashamed of yourself. Making fun of your sick ole dad in front of your friends. Really, what kind of respect is that?"

Fine, if he wanted to use this opportunity to be an asshole. Then you would ream his ass right here publicly. "Sorry Dad, I just thought you went all senile when you chased those poor kids. Wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Oh wow. I didn't know it was like that." Night Glider looked upon Discord with pity. "Hey, sorry about thinking you were some sort of monster. Are we cool?"

".....I guess" Discord was internally furious. But it also seemed he was holding back. Or just accepting defeat. It seemed per his words, he wasn't going to purposely cause too much trouble. even if "purposely" was already a stretch when it came to him.

"Cool" Night Glider said with a smile. "Well, if you're looking for Starlight. She's back at the old vault. We've been converting it for something new. She told you what we used to use it for, right?"

Take that you fucking freaky dragon fuck. You had him where you wanted him. As for Night glider's question, you nodded. "Yeah, but..what is it being converted to? if you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, get this" Night Glider grinned, she seemed pretty happy about it. "It's a vault of 'memories'. Basically we take something that we really like, like something that reminds us of a really cool or happy memory, and put it in the vault. That way it stays safe and we can go see it whenever we want. And even tell and swap stories to each other about what we put in.Pretty cool, huh?"

Woah, that actually was pretty neat. "Yeah, hey. That's really sweet actually. I kinda wanna see it but...uhh..." You look around, you can see the mountains at the right side of the town. It was a bit ways off. "Where do we go exactly?"

"Oh it's easy, see those mountains over there? We marked a path and put up a few railings to make going to the vault safer. Just follow the path and you'll be there in no time."

You sigh...good, progress without too much trouble. "Thanks Night Glider. You're really cool. I'd stay and chat, but I really got to talk to her. It's important."

"Hey that's cool, I don't wanna keep ya but...You should check out our new town hall when you get the chance though. We're juuuuuuust about done with it. It's right over there across town." She points to it. It...from your position. Actually did look a lot nicer than before. But you really did have no time to see it just yet.

"Sure, when I get the chance, I'll check it out. Thanks Night glider." You then look to Discord with a smug look. "Come on Dad, we gotta get going."

Discord grumbles that the situation went sour. "Indeed....goodbye, Blight Crier" He bows begrudgingly as he follows you.

"Seeya..and it's err, Night Glider..." She just shakes her head in pity as she watches you both walk off. "Poor guy" She figured you were just taking him around so he wouldn't be left alone in the house. Wherever that was.

As for you, yeah you had your fun. But you had to be serious, because it was obvious he wasn't taking it serious. The fucking nimrod. You both take the path towards the vault. As you walked along it, you could see small signs set up and walls set up as guard rail that reached up to about two times your height. Yeah, it really was safe. Though, you couldn't escape from Discord's whining.

"A circus freak, a pet?! How could she not know who I am?...I'M DISCORD" Discord pointed to himself as he gripped his talons "THE KING OF CALAMITY! THE LORD OF DISORDER! THE SPIRIT OF CHAOS!"

"The emperor of dumb shit moves" You announce grumpily as you march forward. The fun was over, you just had to get this done before he died. "Like seriously, I can't believe you'd do something like this."

"Well that's your fault now isn't it?" Discord doesn't take your concerns seriously, and scoffs. "You would have told me to turn small or be invisible if we had to speak to any of the ponies here. In fact, why don't we turn back and try again, hmm? I'm sure the other townsponies not only know who I am, but would be dying to meet me."

You roll your eyes at him. "It's a backwater, mostly out of the way, kinda hidden town. They only really know of you through me. They'd either be afraid of you because you look like some wild animal or come up to you and ask you to do a trick. Let's just get this over with."

"Oh really? Tch, that's why back up plans exist, Anon. It's not like we'd be causing too much trouble anyway. They would be the ones overreacting. I'd just need to approach in a much more charming fashion." Discord explains as he licks his paw to wipe and straighten his beard with it.

"We don't have time for that...." You growl at him, how could he be so reckless?!

"We have plenty of time, I would know. It is my body after all." Discord immediately turns around and starts walking back. "Besides, aren't you famished? We could pick up something to eat" He just continues walking without you.

You know, the more he tried to force having another shot at the townsponies. The more it made you think. Wasn't there another time where he had no magic? Your eyes widen as you realize the truth. It was so obvious. Season four finale.

...THAT...BASTARD! He didn't turn to dust back then. This guy was lying to you from the get go just to try to get some jollies. Well, you already got first win on him. Time to clench round two. Because you were sure you were right.

You start walking to the wall set up at the side of the mountain path, hop up to get your front legs over it, then look down. hrn..a long fall. "Y'know Discord, I'm starting to think you're lying to me."

"Lying?" Discord stops and then chuckles. "Lying...you're saying I'm lying. Why would I.....Anon?" Discord turns around, to see you going over the wall and hanging on by the edge. "...Anon...what are you doing?" His mood immediately shifts to one of worry.

He was probably worried that you had him. "Oh...nothing. Just wanting to check out the view. Pretty nice huh?" You grin at him. "It would be a shame if I tripped...right?"

"Anon...as your fake father." He points down to the ground next to him. "I order you to come over here this instant."

You snicker at him. "You're not my Dad in any capacity. And besides, if you really want me over there, just use your magic."

You start leaning back, which makes Discord start stepping towards you. "Anon...I'm not playing. Come here.....I got snackkksss"

"Nah, I think I'll just have some fun swinging back and f-w-woa---WOAH!" You lose your grip, and fall back.

Discord loses it, he rushes towards the wall and screams your name "ANON!". But as he looked over the wall and down the mountain. He couldn't even see you anymore. You were too far down, according from his position.

"A-anon...." He just had his arm outstretched as he froze in place, as if he had caught you....but it was long too late for that. He was in shock. He slowly began to realize that his little game had just cost you your life. "....." He finally began to move, stepping back as tears started to slowly flow from his eyes. "Have I gone too far? I wasn't lying....mostly. You were right...I wasn't going to turn to dust. I only said that so you couldn't turn back. But a deal was a deal...Why didn't you listen...?"

He gulped, and looked up towards the sun. "How could this be? How could I, Discord, make such a gross oversight?" He started to to back up, holding his talons to his chest from pain as he bit down on his paw. "He was one of my best friends. How could he do something so stupid? Th-that's not my fault...i-it can't be..." He gulped upon the realization that he may have pushed you for the truth. "Did it really mean that much to know? His own life?....." Then his eyes widened as the thoughts of Fluttershy entered his mind. "....Fluttershy...she'll hate me. She'll hate me forever when she finds out." His eye began to twitch from utter fear. His body turning full white as his pupils shrank. "A-and then I'll be alone...."

He nearly melted onto the ground, reaching his paw up towards the sky. "H-help… Please… Whoever can hear me. Princess Celestia, Human god, even that devil guy, I'd gladly sell Twilight's...no...mine?...No..I'd gladly sell Tirek's soul if I could only hear his voice again...please?"

"Wow, I didn't know you cared that much about me."

"I do..." He whined. "You were my chaos buddy. The only one who could understand ripping a pony's heart asunder with pure bedlam and......A-Anon?" Discord leaned up and looked back. And there you stood. "A-Anon...y-you're alive?"

"Yep...ya big softie" You wink at him.

"OH PRAISE THE HUMAN'S STAN GUY! FOR HE HAD TAKEN MY OFFERING TO-" Discord praised the devil himself before you went and cut him off.

"N-no Discord, I just noticed some part of the cliff jutting out and just hugged the wall while standing there. I never fell in the first place."

"......Well, that's terrible. And here I was actually willing to even trade in Applejack. She's so frightfully boring that I'd wager just staring at her would cause one's soul to become weary and leave the body to find something better to do." Discord looked immediately relaxed and even slightly peeved that it didn't go his way.

"Really?...come on, I know I gotcha. You don't have to hide it."

"....." Discord sighs as he gently picks you up and gives you a hug. "I suppose I was a little worried. Perhaps I took it a little too far."

"It's alright buddy. I figured you were messing with me in some way. Didn't know the deal was a real thing though."

You gave him a gentle hug, and he put you down with a gentle head pat. "Indeed, worthy of the name 'Discord'. You certainly had me Anon. It puts my heart at ease to know you are indeed capable of such a cheap trick" And then he grins. "...Something I won't fall for twice."

You smirk right back at him. "Really? We'll see about that. And hell, speaking of not falling for it twice. That got me thinking. If we ever go up against the princesses again, I can figure out if Luna pulls out one of her dream shenanigans."

"Excellent. I always did have a tad of trouble figuring that out....hmmm" He stops smirking deviously, his expression becoming more soft. "So, there is no ill will between us...right?"

"Nah, I just wanted to figure out if you were lying. And yeah..." You giggle. "Maybe one up you by myself for once. No Flutters required."

"Good..." Discord starts marching back up the path towards the vault. "Now that I know that, you won't mind the next time I pull a devious trick on you."

Devious trick? "Discord...come on. Don't be salty."

"Salty? Oh no no ,Anon. I prefer my meals sugary sweet." He looked back at you with a cocky grin. "Don't you?"

Ahh fuck. What a bastard. Right after the apologies are over, he goes back to being himself. He just couldn't live life any other way, could he? Still, it was a sweet moment while it lasted. You also had to make sure to never actually die. It was kinda scary, you felt a dark foreboding that he could actually go mad if he lost you or Fluttershy.

Yeah, it was good enough at least. It was always nice to know he cared. Even if he went back to being an ass almost immediately. However, you had a feeling that if it was with Fluttershy. He wouldn't be so quick to snap back. Not around her anyway. "You're an asshole Discord, I love ya, but you're an asshole"

"I prefer 'Causer of Chaos' myself. But I suppose that works too. Also, try not to mention this moment to anypony. I do have a reputation I'm trying to keep, you know." Discord mentions as he steps forward.

Oh ho....really. "I mean sure, if you make it worth my while. What's in it for me?"

Discord stops again. And turns to face you with a scowl. "Anon...You wouldn't dare"

You shrug. "I mean, if you're gonna be an ass. I can still be an ass too. It wouldn't be too hard to let Twilight know how much you care, right?"

Discord let's out an annoyed chuckle as he steps towards you, then passes by you as he puts his arms behind his back and starts to lift himself up and down with his off matching toes. "Indeed you could. And I wouldn't be able to stop you. In fact, you'd earn a vacation if you did something like that. Yes, a whoooooole week with that tentacle beast. You remember him, don't you? It has been a long time since you both last met. He might be lonely."

............Fuck. "Fiiiiiiiine, sheesh. I'll keep my yap shut. Way to go Discord, you're a sore loser. Through and through"

"Sore loser?" Discord turns back to face you, feeling insulted. "Now we all know that's not true"

You raise an eyebrow at him. Then start to mock his tone. "Look at me, I'm Discord, I can show softness towards Fluttershy because I'm a little bitch but I can't towards Anon because I don't want to get shown up. Look how I can win any argument with my broken ass magic instead of my linguistics skills like I pretend to have. So much so that I have to threaten one of my best friends with tentacle rape just so I don't look like a total tool when I thought he died."

"........hmnnn.......hmmmmmnnnnn" Discord didn't take too kindly to that. But internally, he realized, you were right....kinda sorta, in his mind anyway. "A total tool hmmm? So using my magic to force a win is a bad thing now?"

You nod. "I mean yeah, it's like throwing the chessboard when you're losing. Come on Discord, I like you, you're my friend. We've had nice soft moments before. Why can't you just-"

"Lighten up?..Fine, then I suppose a new challenge is in order. We will go see your friend. AND you will see just how perfectly civilized I can be. You'll be so surprised your head might even spin a few rounds. In fact....after you" He bows and moves his arms to the right, to signify the path you both will take with absolute civility.

"You know it's not about that, right?" Did he just not understand unless it went his own way?

But then his next words surprised you. "I understand how it works. At least I think so. Anon, I mean it. I care about you. Enough to sacrifice Applejack's life if so need be. But my relationship with you is indeed different from Fluttershy's. I won't go into specifics. But, when it comes to you, you are my protegee, and my partner. But there is a hierarchy to maintain. And while I'm proud of you for upholding some of my ideals, we mustn't forget who is the king," He points to himself. "And who is the prince." He points to you. "Your life is something I'll protect. But never ever think you can EVER upstage me. Understand?"

Prince huh? Heh, his wording was kind of cute. You really didn't mind fucking with people you hated or just felt it was well deserved. And Discord? Loved the guy. But he needed to be brought down a peg sometimes. So you just snicker at him. "You mean like how I did just now?"

"D'oh!" Discord winces, then rolls his eyes. "Yes...like how you SORT OF did just now. egh..." Discord started rubbing his temples. "Perhaps this was a mistake, I could have sworn this deal would have been in my favor. But nooooooooooo, I had to be in a town of ignorant ponies and my upstart fake son had to be a REEEAAALLL jerk. No respect for daddy Discord, none at all."

You just laugh, it really was cute. "Love you too, Discord, and thanks. You're a good guy" You pound at your chest. "Right where it counts."

Discord groans. "Yes, yes, let's just get this OVER with already." Discord internally felt he'd have to see Fluttershy after this. Just to lift his own mood.

And so, the simple trek to the vault continued.

As you both continued your trek. You noticed Discord taking a half moment to stop and look towards you silently. He never said anything. But it was clear he still had in his head that something could happen to you.

You know you've gotten similar confessions out of him before. You even recall how he reacted when he found out about Twilight nearly sealing you. But this was the first time you had witnessed it directly. You saw his face when he didn't notice you, it was soul crushing. It was something even he couldn't fake. You knew Discord was actually closer to you then he lets on. Even if he already calls you his partner. Perhaps he really did take the "Son" thing seriously. If he ever knew, and ever witnessed you actually getting hurt, you knew he'd come to protect you. You knew that now. But only if HE UNDERSTOOD you were in danger.

But as soon as everything was ok, he went back to his old dickish self, simply because that’s who he is. It's what he likes. And if he can get away with it, all the better for him. But when it comes to you, the more you've come to realize this, the more you realized you could counter his chaos or even get on his nerves in a fashion much like him. And honestly? It was fun. Hell, you remembered the fun you had when you and him messed with Chrysalis. Probably a bad idea in the end though.

Thinking of her though. Maybe it was time to ramp things up. If she was your friend, if she was capable of having moments like Discord. Which, thinking back on Gertrude, she could. Then it meant that maybe you could press her buttons further. Take risks, and see what works. Yeah, that "Welcome to Ponyville" Party? It had to happen and had to go exactly as planned.

"See somethin' you like?" You give him a sultry grin.

Discord just keeps his focus forward now as he dismisses any thoughts you might have. "Just making sure you don't go flying off a cliff" His tone, it was mostly serious even if he didn't mean to sound that way.

"Mhmmm, Hey there's the cave. We have to be pretty close now."

"Good, I don't think I could stand another second without my powers. Really Anon, you're such a hooffull. I have to wonder how your marefriend can handle you and..." Discord looks back at you, you just make a kissy face at him. "uugghhhhhh..." Discord just turns and continues walking, stepping into the cave "Did I really care that much? I now question how I could have had such love in my heart and....STOP THAT!"

You were sitting down, giving him big sad eyes. "Daddy don't wuv me no mo?"

"....Now you're pushing it. Fluttershy wouldn't do this." Discord was near grinding his teeth. He was pointing at you indiscriminately.

"But I'm not Fluttershy. I'm Anon. And yoooooooouuuu're a butt!" You stick your tongue out at him.

"Oooohhhh....you are entering a world of pure terror if you keep this up" Discord's voice becomes the sound of pure evil as he angrily narrows his eyes at you.

"Ok...We got something to do anyway" You just shrug and walk past him, he doesn't even move position until he realized he didn't scare you.

"........" Then a tear started to run down his cheek, as he began to pout. "...I'm so proud."

You caught those words. You caught them as you stepped forward away from him. It felt good, even though you too were being an ass. It felt good to know that he approved. You could stop now, that was a good point to stop. You wiped a single tear from your eye without looking back at him. Was this how a real "Father-son" moment felt like? Maybe in the vein of chaos it did.

Discord turned and followed along with you. "Y'know, Anon, although ruling Equestria is FAR from my mind. It is nice to know that had I picked you up a little earlier, and with a little mind twisting here and there, that you would have made a fine chaos prince. To think, I could have Celestia. And you Luna."

Wooooooah...wut? "Y-you mean like...."

Discord immediately knocks on your head. "Head out of the gutter Anon, I meant as our maids. Not as our concubines"

".....What's the difference?"

Discord smirked, he even giggled at that one. "Ha! You made a funny. Not appropriate for the ears of foals mind you. But still, that was rather good."

"....No...I was serious. I mean, Luna as a maid....that's uhh..pretty hot"

"....." Discord then immediately goes stoic, and just turns and walks forward. "Hopeless....hrn?" And that's when he notices, as do you, the vault, or more, the redesigned vault.

It looked nearly the same as you remember it from the show. But more horizontal than vertical now. Cuties marks painted on each door rather than actually containing a cutie mark itself. The area around it has been converted to a small workstation. Probably to have tools readily available to expand the vault if need be. It included a ladder for any door that was higher up. But due to the expansion, those doors had no Cutie Marks yet. Which most likely meant they had no owner.

And ahead still, was Starlight Glimmer, wearing a hard hat, standing a few feet away from the vault as she started giving a command to Double Diamond. A Totally white horse with either snowflakes or blue flowers as a cutie mark. You really had a hard time telling sometimes. He was also wearing a hard hat. "Alright Double Diamond. Give it the best kick you got!" Starlight cheered.

"No sweat Starlight, here we go!" Double Diamond gave the vault a gigantic buck. The strongest he had. And unlike when the stick was slammed into it. Nothing happened.

Starlight seemed pretty pleased with the results as she jotted some notes down on a notepad. "Aha! Yes! Memories Vault two point five is a go! it's unbreakable in every way now. Now everypony's memories will be safe! Thanks for the help, Double Diamond."

"Hey, no problem Starlight." He smiled joyfully, feeling pretty good that everything worked out. "It's really cool to see you out more by the way, that trip to Ponyville really helped you out, huh?"

"It did..." Starlight let out a calm and gentle sigh of approval as she thought on it. "It's really amazing what happens when you manage to sort things out. Still, I wouldn't even have gotten this far without the support of the town, And...well...Anon too"

"He seems like a pretty good kid. When is his birthday? Since he's that important, we could probably get the whole town to make a gift for him as thanks. Ya know, since he helped you out. And you're helping us out." He suggested.

"Hmm, I actually don't know when his birthday is. I never asked and he never said. I'll have to ask him next time we meet." Starlight looked upon the vault. The doors were just long enough to have the cutie marks on the top half of each door. The see through material of the door itself allowing one to see what each pony put inside. Starlight was viewing hers, which was one of the few that were still empty. It seemed to upset her just a little. "Say, Double Diamond. Do you really think I had a good idea with this vault? There's still a few doors that are empty."

Double Diamond seemed to immediately take notice and gave her a happy grin. "Of course it was. This was a super great idea. Everypony is so happy that they have a safe place to stash their happiest memories. A place where they can come together and share their memories with each other. And why even worry? Everypony will have those happy memories eventually. Heck, I bet you have a few right now. You just don't have anything to represent it yet....hmm" He started to ponder, then, he thought he had it. "Wait! I know! Why not a picture of all the residents in town? To remind you how you brought us together like this. That'd work, right?"

Starlight seemed to like the idea. It made her chipper already as she smiled warmly at the stallion. "Yeah, that's a great idea. I'd like to have something like that. That way I never forget how you all accepted me back." Starlight stopped for a moment, then became more confident, even her expression showed it. "And why would I ever want to forget that? All of you mean a lot to me. And I'd never ever would want to lose sight of how much it means to me!"

"Yeah! Now that's the spirit! Oh yeah! I'm feeling really good now! Come on, let's go to Sugar Belle's and get us a-HOLY CELESTIA WHAT IS THAT THING!?!" Double Diamond jumps back in fright the moment he notices Discord.

"Thing?...Eh, close enough." Discord actually wanted to say something a little more mean. But he wanted to keep to his word. "At least he realizes I'm a threat. And with that said." Discord made a cheerful grin as he waved to him. "Good afternoon Mr. Stallion, how are you doing today?"

Double Diamond gulped. But he immediately thought of Starlight's safety, and moved to her front despite being scared. "Whatever you are, y-you better w-watch it. O-or I-I'll use your scales..erm..fur...something to line my skis w-w-with!"

Discord groans and turns towards you. "I can mess with him later, right Anon? I mean, he is threatening me. And I haven't even done anything wrong..." He looks back at Double Diamond with a smirk. "Yet"

You step up into view. You better diffuse the situation and quick. "It's alright...Dad. He's just not used to you." You then make yourself known as you wave, mostly towards Starlight. "Yo! How are you doing Starlight?"

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