• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,711 Views, 2,823 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 13

Did you go too far? Applebloom and Sweetie Belle remain stunned for just another moment before they say..in unison. “Anon..t-that was.."

"Terrible" Says Applebloom, her face full of concern and worry of the situation.

"INCREDIBLE!" Sweetie Belle cries out. Amazed..by what she just saw.

"What? Sweetie Belle. Ya can't be serious about that… Did ya see what ah just saw?" Applebloom turned to her friend. confused as to her opposite response.

"Did you? Anon just did the impossible! He got Diamond Tiara to shut up!"

Ha… At least Somepony fucking appreciated it. Goddammit Applebloom...what the fuck.

"Yeah but, did ya see his face. Did ya hear what he said? He said he'd beat her up! That's not the crusader way… That just makes us as bad as her"

What...says who? You interject. "Woah woah, hold on. What's this "Crusader way" stuff? I'm not a Crusader yet remember? Besides, I was defending you guys, Scootaloo included"

"Yeah Applebloom, and he did it so well. It was super amazing! Besides, he probably wasn't even serious. I mean, did you hear who he said his dad was? Come on… it was just a trick"

Applebloom didn't seem to think so. Unbeknownst to both you and Sweetie Belle. Applebloom not only believed what you said. But started to think you were lying about other things, like Scootaloo had mentioned before. "Ah don't think it's a trick… Your dad really is Discord, ain't he?" She turns to you, although she looked somber, her eyes looked towards you, searching for answers.

You nod slowly, cringing. You didn't like where this was heading. "Yeah, he is. But… come on, Sweetie Belle is righ-"

You are suddenly cut off by a now shocked Sweetie Belle "SERIOUSLY?! YOUR DAD IS DISCORD?! Woah..."

Applebloom turned to Sweetie Belle, she started to get agitated "Sweetie Belle, can't ya take this a little more seriously?"

Sweetie Belle frowned "Hey Applebloom… come on. What's with you? I really don't see anything wrong here… You weren't being serious with all that stuff, were you Anon?"

You shook your head. You sorta did..maybe. But you weren't going to tell them that. "Of course not, I just wanted to scare them. and it worked! I just didn't like the fact that they were treating you that way. Just over Cutie Marks… It's stupid"

Your ears lower as you frown. You couldn't tell now if you meant your words or if you really were just in a moment… A delicious moment, but a moment nonetheless. And now suddenly. One by one, you were losing the favor of the CMC. The freaking CMC for christ sakes. You started to actually like them and yet somehow, with all your knowledge, you were losing them. You had to make some sort of recovery.

Applebloom stayed silent, and walked over and looked directly into your eyes "Anon... Look into mah eyes. Ah want ya to promise me somethin'"

This was uncomfortable. You looked away from her due to her being so uncomfortably close. But when she asked you. You slowly turned back. And her eyes, they were big, and sad. Dammit why?! Why couldn't she be on the same page as Sweetie Belle?! She seemed on the ball. Applebloom shouldn't be moralfagging this hard.

"W-what is it?"

"Just promise me that everything you told us is the bonafide truth, I'll believe ya. Ah trust ya. But ah just wanna know..." She said.

You couldn't have lied to her too much… You knew ENOUGH about the Apple family. Of course your origin is a giant fib but whatever. If you ran into any trouble. You had enough knowledge of the show to get you out of it. You look directly into her eyes, you keep your justifications in your head so you won't look away.

"Yeah, of course I'm telling the truth. It's just in Phillydelphia, you gotta be a little tougher than the average pony. Ponies there Applebloom, they cheat and gang up on you and beat you up. I wasn't going to fight them… but I wasn't gonna let them hurt you and Sweetie Belle like that."

Sweetie Belle gave you a big smile as she walked near. Then she turned to Applebloom "See? now will you calm down Applebloom? We still need to get something to eat."

You nod. "She's right. Plus remember? all this emotional stuff is probably just from our hungry bellies. We'll feel a lot better after we get something to eat"

"ah… Ahright. Maybe ahm just thinking too much"

Sweetie Belle raised her hoof and knocked on Applebloom's head, giggling "Hehe, definitely. We need to save all that space for more ideas on getting Cutie Marks"

Applebloom smiled and giggled half heartedly. And then turned to ask you one more question. She seemed chipper. That was good. "Anon, ah got one more question, if ya don't mind."

You shrugged. What's one more? "Yeah?"

"What's it like being adopted by Discord?"

Sweetie Bell turned to you, she seemed curious as well. "Yeah! Does he do mean things to you?"

You shrug, this was easy "Nah… well sometimes. But he isn't that bad. He feeds me pretty good and stuff. It's just sometimes he might pull a prank that goes a little too far. Otherwise, I think he's a cool dad."

"That's it? He doesn't curse you or send you into creepy places or anything?" Sweetie Belle asks

You shook your head

"Wow… hrn. Maybe we shouldn't believe all those rumors from school"

Hah… Kids… Superstitious and always talking shit about others. Your thoughts get cut off from your stomach, howling for food.

Applebloom giggled "Maybe we should wait before we ask anymore questions! Come on, before Anon turns into bones!"

Heh… Ok good. she was chipper again. Good good. As long as everyone was in better moods. It's fine. You'd just need to think of a way to win over Scootaloo when the time came.

And with that. the three of you went off to the food court. It was like McDonalds… but with ponies… and hayburgers… yeaaahh…

Applebloom, and then Sweetie Belle made their orders first. Both were nearly identical. Except Applebloom got Appleslices with her hayburger instead of fries. As you saw them pay. You came to the realization that you had no bits…


"Whats the matter Anon?" Sweetie Belle looked over to you.

"Oh boy, ya don't got any bits do ya? How did we forget to ask about that?" Applebloom put her hoof on her face and shook her head.

Before you could even say anything. Sweetie Belle slams some extra bits on the counter "I got it. Another order of Hayburger with fries if you don't mind!"

The cashier pony nodded. Thanked Sweetie Belle like any cashier would. And said their orders would be ready soon. You three found some seats at a table and sat down. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle started to converse with each other first. It seemed they felt somewhat uncomfy not having Scootaloo with them.

Meanwhile you started thinking about the day in general. You started scanning the restaurant for any signs of Discord. Was he watching? If he was, surely he'd have done something by now. Or he just wants you to stew in the mess you were making.

"Hey Anon… How did Discord adopt you anyway? I thought there was some legal stuff you had to do… and he doesn't seem the foal wanting kinda guy" Sweetie Belle asked. Still curious.
Shit… now things were getting difficult. you only had a base idea of what to say. You didn't have it in detail.

"Umm..I dunno what dad is thinking a lot of the time. And I dunno anything about legal stuff.." Time for a big smile. "I'm just glad I have a dad! It's so nice having a home!"

Applebloom smiled "Wow, I always thought Discord was still kinda bad somewhere inside. But ah guess ah was wrong."

Sweetie Belle rubbed her hoof under her muzzle as she thought "Hmmm… Maybe it's because he's part animal? Fluttershy is really good with animals. So maybe she has some weird crazy powers over him or something?"

Applebloom laughed at that. "haha! I never thought of that. Ya remember that cocktrice? Gee, Fluttershy is amazin'"

You nodded. "I agree, Dad took me to meet her on my first day here. She's so nice. I kind of wish she was my mom." Suddenly, Applebloom became stone faced. "Applebloom? ...You ok?”

Applebloom's pupils shifted to your yours "Anon, did ya say you wish she was your mom?"

You look left and white nervously… Awwkkwward… "Y-yeah. Why?"

Applebloom slowly turned to Sweetie Belle "Sweetie Belle, are ya thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

Sweetie Belle looked confused "On what's taking so long with our food?"

"No Sweetie Belle.Ya heard Anon, he wants a mom! And Fluttershy and Discord are good friends… Maybe they can be… more than friends?"

...Oh god… She's not suggesting...

Sweetie Belle shook her head. "Hold on, Wait. Last time we did that. We almost ruined your brother's and miss Cherilee's lives… and ours..."

"Yeah but, this is different! We got a colt on the inside! Maybe, if we manage it, we can get our cutie marks! Cutie Mark Crusader Matchmakers! I think we can do it this time!"

"Say… yeah… we need to plan it of course. All four of us. What do you say Anon?" Sweetie Belle wondered


"H-hold on. I dunno. I-I don't think it's a good idea." You say.

Applebloom gave you a reassuring, confident stare "Come on Anon! It can't be that hard. Discord is only ever super nice to her anyway. He just needs a small push. And now that we know he really is a good guy. ahm willin' to bet it'll be no problem."

...You. Got. To. Be. Kidding. They really, REALLY, were single minded. One moment, some feelsy fest. The next they want to push Discord and Fluttershy into some kind of… thing.

"L-look, I just got adopted and I just wanna settle in. Don't you both think you are rushing things?"

Sweetie Belle thought to herself. "Hrn..maybe you're right."

Applebloom nodded. "...so how about in a month? We'll have come up with a ton of good plans by then!"

...Dammit. "look girls, I just want to keep things the way they are for a while. Longer than a month. If anything went wrong, it's sort of on me. You know?"

Applebloom frowned "Aww… hmmn… You're right though, I guess we'll have to come up with something else."

..Crisis averted... woo… You took sighed and put your head down. Right when a rather cute unicorn mare waitress was putting down all your food. Giving you a wink as she said to enjoy your meals. You looked at your food..it looked pretty ok. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle was already digging in. You tried Applebloom's method on the burger like you did the cup before. It worked.

As you three ate. You started to think. Maybe it'd be fun to come up with an idea for a cutie mark. Even if the CMC did lead to ACTUAL danger. Everything was always ok by the end of the episode. Maybe that's how things were. And by that account, it might actually be fun.

"Ya know… I was thinking, If we were to get our cutie marks. We'd need to pull off something super amazing. Something nopony else could pull off" You mentioned as you started to bounce the idea of becoming a crusader. They were pretty endearing once you got to know them.

Sweetie Belle swallowed her chunk of hayburger and looked at you. curious. "But what could we do?"

Applebloom smiled "Anon, are ya actually thinking about getting a cutie mark? Does that mean you wanna be a Cutie Mark Crusader?"

...Eh… Why not. It's the least you could do for the trouble you caused. And, the more you interact with them. The better you can integrate.

"...Yeah why not. It might be fun." Both of them were elated as they cheered.

"We gotta go get Scootaloo and tell her the good news!" Sweetie Belle said in excitement

"Yeah, ah bet when she hears how Anon defended her AND that he wants to be a crusader, she'll cheer up in an instant!"

"Let's go tell her now!" Sweetie Belle suggested


You didn't even get a word out. You could only think it as they immediately dashed out, leaving their food behind.

o...k. Well, at least they are easy to please. You look at their food hungrily. "More for me I guess… I mean, if you girls aren't coming baaack." You look at the doors. Only other ponies exit or enter. No sign of Applebloom or Sweetie Belle.

You snicker "Oh yeah baby..more for me."

You lift up Sweetie Belle's half eaten burger. And as you plunge your teeth into it. You only feel the bottom of your other teeth. "huh?..what gives?"

You look… the food was gone. The restaurant. Everything. You were back at the house. "..OH COME ON! I'M STILL HUNGRY!"

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