• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,708 Views, 2,823 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 30

Twilight went through all the usual questions you'd expect. Are you being fed, are you being fed well, are you happy, do you have a room? is it clean? are you enrolled in school. To each of these questions. You were able to answer honestly for the most part that it was all good. And as you answered them, hearing you speak the truth about it made you realize, even if it was for the sake of a plan. Discord was actually pretty good at providing a home.

Twilight was amazed. You've been here for days and by the answers you have given. You were a happy and healthy child. "Anon, and everything you've answered is the truth?"

You nod
"Mhmmm! Dad even introduced me to Aunt Fluttershy. She's so nice. We took a family photo together and everything!"

"Aunt Fluttershy?" That made Twilight smile, it means Fluttershy was also involved, it was a relief to her because that meant there was someone else keeping Discord in check with the whole adoption thing. "So..then..what does Fluttershy have to say about all this?"

in an instant, the family photo appears before Twilight as Discord begins to speak "Take a look Twilight and tell me what you see...a picture is worth a thousand words, they say."

Twilight examined the photo...it looked legit, all three of you looked happy. "You all look so happy together..."

"Of course we do Twilight, I don't know what else I need to do to convince you that everything is absolutely fine. I've gone through all the proper channels and even enrolled him at the schoolhouse in Ponyville. Surely you must have a judgement by now" Discord was already getting bored and impatient.

Twilight nodded, she felt a little odd saying what she was about to say. But her magic revealed you to be a legit colt, she couldn't argue her own magic. "I do, I can honestly say, without a doubt, that you Discord are a fitting father for youn-"


"Hoooooooold it!" Spike suddenly called out "Twilight, you can't be serious! He's got to be pulling some kind of trick, What if he's got Anon scared and making him say what he wants to say?! This could be part of some big master scheme to do...something!!!"

"Spike!" Twilight turned to him, she actually felt a tinge of anger from that outburst. She herself couldn't detect any malcontent from either of you. "I don't see any more reason to be suspicious, so do you mind explaining to me why you still are?"

"Come on Twilight! Discord is ALWAYS up to something. Even if it isn't evil, he could be using this guy for..something! in fact...uhh...can I talk to you in private?"

Aye geez, he was actually on to something. Wrong on the intentions. But Spike, through his suspicions, was actually on to something.

Twilight groaned, she already felt she was on to the right decision. But Spike had always been her number one assistant. She reluctantly decided to humor him "..Alright Spike...but this better be good."

And so they went to discuss whatever he wanted to talk about in the next room. Leaving you and Discord alone.
You look to Discord, a little worried
"Yo hey, Discord. What's up with him?"

Discord chuckled "Oh Spike? My guess is that he doesn't want you to suffer in my hands, he's highly suspicious of everything I do."

Huh...sounds about right
"Well..I guess I would be too if I was him. He's right about the whole plan thing. But I think he's got the wrong idea."

"Most likely, it's not like I'm doing anything evil. I mean, if he really wanted to be suspicious of me I could just torch this whole castle. Then his suspicions would be justified"

You didn't even get worried from that statement. At this point, you were becoming used to him just saying whatever he wanted.
"Right....so..what do you think they are talking about in there?"


"Hrm? oh...Spike just wants to talk to you one on one because he thinks you'll be more truthful if you speak to someone your own age. How laughable. You must be almost five or six times his age. "
Discord was eavesdropping without even moving. That was neat and scary at the same time. To be around someone of such great power....you were just glad you were his "son"

"Well, Discord. I can't blame him. I mean, I trust you. But, all things considered. You did say this was the problem you were trying to fix, so it shouldn't be surprising"

"It isn't surprising, it's just troublesome....ahh here they come."

You watch as Twilight and Spike re-enter the room.

Twilight looks to Discord, it was already obvious what she was going to say

"Discord, you don't mind if Spike has a word with Anon...do you?"

Discord didn't move, change expression, or anything. "Of course I don't mind. It'll give me time to collect my thoughts" he then muttered under his breath "I hope none of them has blown anything up"

"What?" Twilight turned to Discord, thinking she heard something about blowing up.

"O-oh, I said I needed another cup...for my parfait.." Discord said as another glass appeared in his hands "There we are."

"oh..hmm.." Twilight then turned to you "You don't mind right Anon?"

Spike suddenly grabbed you from the side and ruffled your mane "Of course he doesn't Twi, were both bros."

Bros...ha...right. At least he was friendly about it.

"Spike, I won't allow it unless he's ok with it.." Twilight said to him with inflicting caution

"I don't mind. Spike seems like a pretty cool dragon"
You grin a wide grin. That should break the ice instantly.

"See? Told ya. Trust me Twilight, I got this." Spike said with confidence

you always did have a soft spot for Spike. He could be a retard at times. But when he was cool, he was....well..cool.. This could be interesting.

With that Spike leads you out of the room "Come on Anon, walk with me, talk with me."

"O-ok Mr.Spike!"

"Woah woah, don't call me Mr.Spike. Just Spike. Mr.Spike just sounds nerdy"

You nod
"Ok Spike!"

You both exit the room down a long hallway as Spike begins to chat with you
"I know you're acting. You can't fool me, we did meet yesterday you know.."

AHH SHIT NIGGA WUT?!
"H-huh? What do you mean?"

Spike cocked an eyebrow "Mr.Spike, Miss Twilight? All that cute and cuddly acting? Come on....It's fake, you weren't THAT polite yesterday. You called me bro, remember? Not Mister or anything like that"

....you stayed calm, this was nothing, surely he had the wrong idea
"I did...I mean, I guess I just don't want to upset anypony. It's good to be respectful.."

"Upset Anypony?...so that's it...DISCORD REALLY IS MAKING YOU SAY ALL THAT STUFF ISN'T HE!? I KNEW IT!" Spike, jumping to conclusions as usual.

"What?! no! Dad isn't doing that. I just want to do my best. That's all! being...uhh.."
You had to think of something convincing....come on....
"Uh...uh..Being...a...an orphan is tough you know. Parents, they'll send you back if things don't turn out well. I just don't want to go back..."

You tried to sound as pathetic and sad as possible. But. Your words were still true. If you did fuck up...who knows what would happen.

It worked, Spike could feel the feels from those words "O-oh...I guess I didn't think of it that way...ahh geez...hey...Anon, I'm sorry." He began to rub the back of his head, feeling bad about what he said "I didn't know you were doing that so you wouldn't get sent back. Has uhh..Has he ever threatened to send you back?"

You shake your head

"Not once...and I can really be myself around him. He doesn't mind. He's pretty cool with it. He can get a little worrisome around public though. But that's because it...well..hurts him to be seen as a bad guy. And I don't think he's as bad as anypony makes him out to be. He's my Dad. And I l-....care about him"

yeck, you were about to say love, too strong a word for the situation as it was.

"Wow...I didn't think Discord was capable of anything like that. Now I feel like a louse...I guess Fluttershy was right. He really is trying to change for the better..Hey Anon..sorry for putting you on the spot like that...hey, actually." Spike lit up with a smile "Since you're new around here, you're gonna need a friend if you don't want to get eaten alive around here."

"Well uhh..I mean.."

Wait...that doesn't sound bad actually. Spike was pretty cool, and you were going to need at least one guy friend. Too many girls was scary.

"Yeah...that'd be pretty cool. Having a dragon as a friend sounds really neat actually."

"Woah really? because ya know, most ponies are afraid of dragons, we can be pretty scary" Spike blew a flame up into the air and then looked at you with a cocky smile "Sure you can handle it?"

You nod, you giggle. That was pretty endearing.
"I think I can. Thanks for wanting to be my friend Spike."

Spike gave your back a pat "No problem bro, we guys gotta stick together. And besides, you're also gonna have to have somepony by your side in case things get wild for you, and this dragon is up to the job! I gotta know something though."

"What?"

"Are you attracted to Twilight? Because if you are, sorry to break it to you but she's always got her head in the books..you got no chance."

...lordy
"No, not really...I was just being polite."

"Then what about Fluttershy? I saw that photo...you looked kind of blushy."

....ummmmmmmmmmmm
"What?! nahhh..I was just caught offguard. She's really soft..and stuff"

Spike smirked "uh huh. Be careful there bro, you did call her "Aunt" "

This...THIS coming from HIM?! ohhh nope..payback....paaaayyyyback.
"Well uhh...what about you? Twilight seemed to suggest you had a crush on somepony."

"Me?! Hey, you don't get to ask that kind of question" Spike began to blush "We don't even know eachother that well"

You smirk at him, tables turned..
"I dunno Spike, you look kind of "Blushy"...come on..who is it?"

As if you had to ask...
"Y-you wouldn't know her....hey. Come on, let's uhh...Go see what Twilight is doing!"

Spike immediately rushed to open the door as you grinned to yourself. That's how you do it.
You follow him back to the main room. Where Spike gives his final report to Twilight. It seems all went well. Much to Twilight's surprise.

Twilight, with positive finality, concluded that Discord was a fit father for you. And even congratulated him. which only fed into his boastful pride. There still had to be future checkups of course, but Twilight felt certain things would be alright after such a display. And, you got to make a new friend.

with a goodbye, you both leave the castle and look onto the horizon. So far so good. Only one more thing to deal with.

"...all things considering, that went pretty well"

"Ohhh I know" Discord shook his arms with glee "Fluttershy will be so happy to hear the news, we should go see her right now and tell her!"

heh..that was odd. Thing Discord as giddy as a schoolgirl over something like this...still.

"Wait..what about Demon Tiara?"

Discord waved his hand disapprovingly "pffft, she can wait. This is much more important. It's still early, we have plenty of time."

You shrug, who were you to argue. This meant you got to spend more time with Fluttershy. And boy, she's going to smile really big when she hears the news.

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