• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 75

You rush off to school as fast as possible. You could already tell you had a lot more time than yesterday, you were passing some of the other kids who were heading that way. Perfect… except you still needed a plan.

You had to have a way to get Applebloom and Diamond Tiara in the same room… privately. Diamond would be easy in all actuality. You could simply tell her to meet you somewhere. Applebloom would be tougher, you already told her you were essentially interested in Diamond Tiara. You'd have to trick her somehow… but how?

"Anon! Hey Anon!"

You stop, and look behind you. Oh… It's Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle… with no Applebloom… huh...

You turn towards them and wave to them a hello. While you continued to focus your thoughts. "Hey girls… what's up?"

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo walked up to you. They seemed concerned about something. "Anon… can we talk with you for a sec" Scootaloo said, stepping up to you first.

You nod, why not? There seemed to be enough time before school. "Yeah sure. Where's Applebloom though? You three are usually together right?"

Sweetie Belle nodded, looking more concerned from those words "Yeah… about her… we gotta talk in private."

Oh… Oh boy… what? Interesting… But, before you inquire about it. You had to ask an innocent question to make sure you wouldn't be late for school. "Private? I dunno, I mean, what about school?"

"We got time, it's just for a second" Scootaloo said, getting behind you and pushing you to the side of a house.

"H-hey! I can walk you know!"

"We know… but this is super important!" Sweetie Belle said, walking alongside you as Scootaloo pushed.

You three were now alone. Now you were REALLY interested. "Ok, we're here. So, what is it about Applebloom?"

Sweetie Belle nodded to Scootaloo. Scootaloo then checked around to make sure no one else was around. Then nodded back to Sweetie Belle.

"Anon, you might want to sit down for this.." Sweetie Belle said, looking serious.

"Just tell me. I'm not sitting down. Whatever you have to say isn't going to phase me."

"So you say Anon, but what we have to tell you will blow your mind!" Scootaloo said, making gestures with her hooves to show her head "exploding".

Sweetie Belle nodded "Trust me Anon, even we didn't see this coming."

Wait… oh… wait… you think you figured it out. You weren't retarded.

"Applebloom has a crush on me right? That's it right?"

Both of them were taken aback. "Woaaaahhh". They said at the same time.

"Wait… you knew? How did you figure it out before us? We just found out yesterday" Scootaloo said, curious as to how you knew.

"We know Applebloom didn't go and say anything to you. Anon, how did you know?"

You sigh. "Because It was pretty obvious."

"Oh...So, if you know… does that mean...?" Scootaloo says, then get cuts off by Sweetie Belle.

"Oh my gosh! Does that mean you and Applebloom are going to get married one day?! Can I be the bridesmare?" Sweetie Belle said in excitement.

"Ewww, Anon and Applebloom? That''s just weird" Scootaloo said, sticking her tongue out in disgust.

Oh god… dammit, Sweetie Belle. That wasn't even remotely what you had in mind. And you hate to disappoint her but. Since they now know, a thought propelled itself in your head.

"Look, Sweetie Belle, I'm sorry to say. But I'm not interested in Applebloom."

"What?! How couldn't you be?! Applebloom was being all odd and weird whenever she looked at you. It was cute. And then after school, she worked really hard on making the clubhouse look really nice for when we would try getting your Cutie Mark." Sweetie Belle was surprised at you, she wanted this.

Scootaloo shook her head "I think Anon is ok and all… but Him and Applebloom? Come on, we know him as much as she does. And that's not a lot. Yeah, I can see why Anon doesn't wanna go for Applebloom"

Sweetie Belle turned towards Scootaloo, a little flustered at her "Scootaloo! But think about it!.."

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow at Sweetie Belle "Yeah? Thinking about it… and it's weird. I'm not bagging on Anon, I really do think he's cool and all. But I got this feeling something's up. Diamond Tiara looked like she was giving him the same eye Applebloom was. You didn't notice that?"

"Diamond Tiara? Liking Anon? Pffft, that's silly" Sweetie Belle waved her hoof at Scootaloo

You raise your hoof. "Actually… that's exactly the… problem I'm having."

Then, like before, they are caught by surprise, even more so than last time. "WOOOOOOOOOAH?!"

"DIAMOND TIARA HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?!" Scootaloo yelled in surprise

"AND YOU KNEW?!" Sweetie Belle said right after.

Oh these girls… God, you didn't need this right after a good breakfast. They were looking at you with judging eyes.

"Yeah, look girls. It's not like I want either of them. That's exactly the problem I've been having. I… I need to let them both down easy so I don't, you know… utterly crush their feelings, I already sort of did that to Applebloom last night."

"How did you do that? You never showed up at the clubhouse. Sweetie Belle left pretty early, but I stuck around for a pretty long time, and well… nothing" Scootaloo said, she was sure you never showed.

And she was right… when she was around anyway. "I showed up when Applebloom was alone… and I said some things… I let her down for Diamond Ti-"


"That explains why Applebloom never showed up this morning" Scootaloo said as she rubbed under her muzzle with her hoof.

"H-hey! It was a mistake! Ok? I thought Diamond Tiara was… I dunno, I just thought it'd be ok. But I realized I'm too young for this sort of thing, and so are they. I don't really need a special somepony… but I still want to be friends..with the both of them"

Sweetie Belle looked you deep in the eyes, she was looking pretty angry all of a sudden, looking at you as if you were suspicious "Or maybe, you are being some sort of… uhhh… dirty pony who goes through fillies like some… dirty pony, Is that it Anon?" Huh! HUH!" She pokes at your chest

Scootaloo held Sweetie Belle back as you took a step backwards away from her "Sweetie Belle relax. It can't be that. That would mean you or me would be that third pony. Anon doesn't hang with anypony else, remember? I mean..." Scootaloo looks at you "You don't have a crush on any of us… do you Anon?"

Geez Sweetie Belle, christ. She was... She was just being protective really, You didn't fully know it. But that's what it was. Applebloom wasn't with them for a reason. So you had to BE that reason. And then there was Scootaloo's accusation.

You shook your head profusely. "Noooope. I don't have a crush on anypony… come on girls… please. I just want to tell them how I feel so they don't do anything stupid or get hurt."

"Too late for that… I'm guessing Applebloom didn't come to school because of whatever you told her." Scootaloo was worried now, she didn't think something like this was enough to make Applebloom not come to school. She didn't even know Applebloom's mood. They just know she never showed up.

Ugh, now you felt pretty bad about it all, even shameful.. You should have handled it better, but still, you had to make things right. "Yeah, I know, I screwed up pretty bad. Look… girls… I need your help"

"What is it Anon?" Scootaloo asked, she seemed willing to help immediately.

"Depends on what you need help with..." Sweetie Belle was looking at you with disappointment and a little distrust. You cringe a little at her response

As Scootaloo looks to Sweetie Belle, a little put off by her attitude. You start to speak. "Yeah, I know, I know I screwed up. But look… I need to see both of them, at the same time… privately. I think I can get Diamond Tiara to show up at say… the clubhouse, easily. I need you girls to get Applebloom in there too… say… after school?"

Sweetie Belle looked at you. She was conflicted. You were the same Anon that stood up to DT when she was a bitch. You were the same Anon who saved her life too. You were the same Anon who protected Scootaloo's honor. She was having a tough time mostly because she found it hard to digest that you'd hurt Applebloom enough for her not to come to school. Even if you didn't mean it. But… you didn't mean it. And you seemed to be wanting to break things off for good reasons, hopefully. "Anon, can you answer me one question?"

You nod, anything to get her to calm down. "Yeah, what is it?"

Sweetie Belle examined your eyes "If you're going to do all this, you gotta promise not to go after any other girl, got it? This has got to be just because of the fact that you don't want to be in a relationship."

You nod, that was exactly your reason. "I promise, friendship and crusading all the way. I just want this all to be over."

"Then I'll help you. I'm in… somepony has got to be there anyway incase things go wrong" Sweetie Belle nods, putting her trust in you

"Go wrong? ohhhh geez" Scootaloo put her hoof to her forehead and frowned as she shook her head "I hope things don't go as bad as they did when we used that potion on Big Mac and Miss Cheerilee. That was almost a thing… a scary thing"

You saw the episode. So you didn't inquire on it. You just needed her to help. "Scootaloo… you in too? Please?"

Scootaloo nodded "Yeah, of course I'm in. Same reason as Sweetie Belle… you're gonna need me anyway. I think I got a better head for this"

“"A better head for this?" What do you mean by that?" Sweetie Belle looked to Scootaloo, curious and a little insulted.

Scootaloo shrugged, and looked at her with a little caution, not realizing she had insulted her until now "Yeah, you know, I mean, I didn't think any of this was a really good idea at the start. It was all pretty weird. I dunno, ponies get weird when they fall in love. And if Applebloom is reacting like this, Diamond Tiara is gonna flip too. Somepony is gotta be there for the both of em when this all happens." Scootaloo then looks to you "And hopefully you get out in one piece."

"One piece? What do you mean by that?"

Sweetie Belle figured out what she meant quickly, she also forgot Diamond Tiara was a part of this too. And considering her recent redemption. She'd have to do her best for both her and Applebloom. "I think she means if you screw up that Diamond and Applebloom might try to tear you apart or something… I think… I saw my sister get really really mad at this rude looking stallion once… She tore this gem he was trying to give her as an apology in half"

You don't remember such a thing. Then again, you can't expect the show to cover everything. "With her magic right?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head "With her hooves… so you might want to be ready"

You gulped… with her hooves?! RARITY?! Geez… and that's Rarity. Applebloom was a earth pony farmer girl… not one you'd want to take a beating from. "Ok… so… you'll both help me with this?"

They both nod. And with that, the plan was set in motion. You would go to school as normal, finish the project, and invite Diamond to the clubhouse while Sweetie and Scootaloo get Applebloom to show up. Shouldn't be too hard.

You'd also have to watch your step of course. You were sure there'd be no violence. Hopefully. But these were two, emotionally immature ponies.

But once this over, you'd not have to worry about it anymore either. You'd be free… for now anyway. Again, you'd get older one day. And who knows, if you didn't totally fuck up with either of them… they might be a prime pick later, maybe?

The three of you head off to school. None of you wanted to be late as well. and for now, business was set. The three of you arrive with the last of the arriving fillies and colts who all entered the Schoolhouse to get ready for school.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were already in their seats. They both waved to you to come on over to the seat. They already had the paints and paintbrush set up for you to finish up the Twilight statue. You also noticed a few of the other students looking at you… awkwardly… others talking amongst themselves. You manage to catch a few words that they were whispering. One being "Discord"

This was probably about this morning… but you thought Twilight took care of that… right?

"Heya girls...how are you both this morning?" You say as casually as possible. "It was a little crazy huh?"

"Oh, you mean that crazy sun and moon thing? I wouldn't know, I was asleep for that, but my parents we're saying it might be Nightmare Moon, since it apparently stayed more night than day" Silver Spoon said.

"I was awake for it. It reminded me more of..." Diamond Tiara looked at you, and frowned a little "something… else."

You look at the other ponies, and noticed Miss Cheerilee wasn't inside yet. "Do you know what the other kids are saying?"

"They are saying the same thing. Though Snips and Snails over there think it's some villain from the Daring Do books." Diamond Tiara chuckles a little, it almost sounded a little insulting "That's pretty silly, right Anon? I mean. Daring Do isn't real"

But she was… But Ahuizotl wasn't the culprit. You also noted a little of old Diamond Tiara in her words. But, that was normal. You thought most kids would think that was pretty stupid. But still...

You shook your head. "You never know, for all we know. Daring Do is real, as is all her adventures. We'd just never know because we only hear about it in a book from an author most ponies barely ever see… sort of mysterious huh?"

Diamond Tiara, upon hearing those words changes her tune, and slowly nods. "Well… uhm... She could be real. If you put it that way"

Silver Spoon was a little more hesitant to agree, and even brings up a small point "Maybe, but if she was real, don't you think Ahuizotl would have been locked up or hunted down already? It always seems a little convenient he always survives and gets away. You'd think the princesses would have stopped him themselves with some of the stuff he does"

That was a good point… but sadly a staple to the world of saturday morning antics… and wait. "You read the books?"

Silver Spoon nods "Yeah, I do. Like, do you know how cool it'd be to stop villains and find treasures? Though, I think I'd keep most of the things I find, or sell them. Giving them away is a little dumb to me"

"So Anon… what do you think about what happened this morning?" Diamond Tiara asked, excited to hear your answer.

You shrug. "Well you know, I kind of live in a different dimension so I never actually saw it."

"Oh right… well… you wouldn't have gotten the Princess's letter then either. Daddy said it was just a really weird happening that caused all of it." Diamond Tiara shifted her attention to the Twilight Figure then back to you "I'm just glad nothing bad happened and that it wasn't your dad that caused it… I mean, I know he never would… but that's why I'm glad, because he wasn't..." She chuckled nervously, she seemed to be stumbling on her words. But that was because she felt IT was Discord that had something to do with it. But it seemed all the ponies in the class had their own opinion. "So… uhh, are you ready to finish the project today Anon? Today is the last day."

You nod, with the practice you got. It shouldn't be too hard. "Yeah, I'm super ready. Thanks for the help yesterday Diamond."

Diamond blushed a deep red "Y-you're welcome Anon, I'm glad I could help."

Shit… Yeah that's right, a compliment would probably… ahhhh dammit… It's fine, just stay the course. You'd have this settled soon. "Well, thank you.."

You become a little more stoic and try not to smile too much at her. You didn't want her getting anymore into you.

And with that, the bell rang. And Cheerilee stepped into the class from the front door. But she stopped at the front door and gave everyone a warming smile. "Good Morning Everypony!". She was standing there as if she was hiding something. "How are you all doing this morning?"

You, along with the rest of the class reply with a good. None mentioning the morning's happening.

Cheerilee happily nods. Especially since no one mentioned this morning's occurrence. "That's very good to hear, because I hope that means you all are ready for a very special surprise."

A surprise? You, along with the rest of the class wondering what it could be. One pony even asking what it was.

Cheerilee replies, her smile growing even cheerier "Well, you all know how we will be turning in our projects to be seen in the upcoming Friendship Festival. Right?" Everyone nodded. "Well, We'll be having a very very special guest today. She's the pony who will be holding the Friendship Festival herself."

Diamond Tiara was the first to light up for this, and even said out loud "YOU MEAN?!"

Cheerilee nodded and stepped aside, away from the door. "That's right, please give a warm welcome to our Princess of Friendship. Princess Twilight Sparkle"

Twilight came into the classroom, without Spike, and gave all the children a very warm and casual "Hello Everypony!"

All the students were delighted and returned her hello, Snips and Snails even getting up to bow to her, making her a little uncomfy, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo giving a more casual "Hi Twilight". And you? You say a hello, but Twilight wasn't exactly a pony you could get excited for. You've already seen her enough and she wasalways spazzing about something. Granted it was usually Discord egging her on. But, she wasn't high on your list of ponies you'd just hang out with. Speaking of… you wanted to see Lyra and Bon Bon soon. In those matching hats. See how it all worked out.

You only had to endure for a little longer… and then hope you don't fuck up when the time comes… Also hopefully Twilight doesn't get into your business.

Almost there Anon.

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