• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,268 Views, 2,759 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

  • ...
65
 2,759
 10,268

PreviousChapters Next
Chapter 236

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Bubbled up Cheerilee!
Chaotic Antics!
In a world of pure imagination!

And then...you wake up.

You wake up to the sound of your class slowly pouring in. All of them taking a gaze at Discord as he sits by Cheerilee's desk, calm and cool, Just giving them a few waves. Many of the students seem on edge. You wiped your eyes, yawned, and looked around. Some of them seemed kind of anxious, some curious, some were even whispering while smiling, talking about that something "Awesome" will happen.

Everyone arrived to class in a timely manner.

The CMC arrived next to last.

"Discord? Whatcha doin' here?" Applebloom blurts out in surprise upon entering the class

Discord waves with a smile "Hello little Apple......errr"

Applebloom raises an eyebrow at him, feeling a little insulted "Applebloom...y'know, Anon's friend? Applejack's sister? She kicked yer butt once?"

Discord shrugs "You can't expect me to keep track of everypony's name now can you?"

"Ah dunno, why are ya even here?" Applebloom looks towards you as you look back at her. What...did she want you to say something?

"Actually..Mister Discord is here to teach us about the history of his rise and fall as king of Equestria. He's been very nice and calm during his morning stay in the classroom..." Cheerilee then looks at him with dagger filled eyes "And it's going to remain that way, Right?...Mister Discord?"

Discord merely smiles and nods "Of course, I just felt a little threatened tis all. I only got a name wrong. Is that so bad?"

"Miss Cheerilee, ya actually let him in here? Applebloom was in shock, as was her fellow friends.

"I did, this could be an interesting and educational lesson for all of us Applebloom. And believe it or not, he's been behaved and has shown real heart in wanting to teach us all about this. The least you can do is give him a chance." Cheerilee didn't want there to be trouble. she thought if she defused the situation, everything would be fine.

"But..." Applebloom protested

"Applebloom" If was going to look at you as if you did something wrong. you might as well speak. "It's gonna be fine. Trust me."

"See? If my son says it'll be alright. Doesn't that mean it will be? He is the hero colt after all" Discord waves a talon at her as if he was some grandpa making a point.

"Yeah but...mnnn.." Applebloom didn't know, it's not that she had anything really against him, she just generally didn't trust him. even he was your "father". She had noticed the way he just used you as a baseball. and she didn't like it.

"Well, if Anon says it'll be ok. Doesn't that mean it'll be ok?" Scootaloo asks Applebloom, then smiles "C'mon, it'll be ok." Scootaloo was pretty optimistic about this. Since in the end, when it comes to you and her, you always seem to try to better her life or get her out of a jam, so she always seems the most friendly to you out of the three. That’s good...

"....it should be ok, right?" Sweetie Belle wasn't sure, but if you and Cheerilee were ok with it... "I mean, even Miss Cheerilee is ok with it"

"..ah guess....ok Discord." Applebloom let's out a small cheerful smile "Ah guess ah can trust ya. Ah mean, ya wouldn't do anything crazy, woulda ya?"

Discord shook his head "Not a thing, this is purely an educational venture"

And with that, the CMC sat in their seats and waited for class to start.

The only thing missing was.....

You notice Silver Spoon...alone, she was looking back at the door. probably waiting for Diamond Tiara.

And that was the thing. where was she?

And right as the bell rings, Diamond Tiara starts rushing in "S-sorry! Sorry! I'm not late, am I Miss Cheerilee?"

Diamond Tiara hadn't even noticed yet that Discord was there.

"You're right on time Diamond Tiara" Cheerilee says with a smile "If you can take your seat, the day will begin."

"ok" Diamond Tiara takes her seat next to Silver Spoon, and then notices Discord, and gives him a cheerful wave "Good Morning Mister Discord, what are you doing here?"

"Ahh..the ever lovely Diamond Tiara." Discord gets up to take a bow "I'm just here to teach a lesson. That is all"

Wut?

Applebloom was also having a wut moment.

"What?! ya remember her name?!" Applebloom felt insulted....to a point that she didn't even realize why. it was a form of jealousy she didn't comprehend.

Discord shrugged "Of course, She is of course, my son's marefriend and most likely future princess of Equestria"

Diamond Tiara blushed and grinned big "Ohhh...Mister Discord" She giggled in embarrassment.

........ogh....

you just whisper under your breath "Kill me"

It looked like Applebloom was doing the same thing, with a heavy groan.

Why did he have to say that? You just took a glance around and it made the whole class speak. Some giggling, some seemed jealous, others found it gross in general. And even worse, that whole "princess" bit probably cemented Diamond to your side for good, well cemented it gooder...that’s not even a word.

"Ahrm..Now that the everypony is here. We can start the class. Now then..." Cheerilee gave her students a huge smile "Good morning class"

"Good morning Miss Cheerilee!" They call cry out, Including you.

"Today is a very special day. For those who did not hear. We will be learning about the rise and fall of the age of chaos. Mister Discord here has taken time out of his day to teach and talk about a time that no historian has ever written about.So please, take out a pencil and some sheets of papers and prepare to take notes." Cheerilee then looks to you with a little bit of a joking grin "That includes you Anon, just because he's your father doesn't exempt you from writing notes." She says with a small giggle

....right, that wasn't actually funny.

But you smile to save face anyway. While things run through your mind. Mostly...why wasn't Diamond with Silver Spoon then morning? She rushed into the door, but she didn't look like she ran or rushed from home. It was like she was just standing around near the school, waiting for the bell.

"Alright then" Cheerilee looked to Discord "Mister Discord, you may start the lesson now. You'll have free use of the chalkboard to illustrate or write notes for the students to follow. But first, why don't you greet the class?"

"That sounds like an excellent idea.."Greeting the class"...hmm" Discord stroked his beard, puzzled with himself "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Mister Discord..it's just a common courtesy...." Cheerilee said, already feeling a little miffed that he seems to be losing the positive attitude he had. It just seemed rude to her.

"Of course of course. Forgive me...You know how it is when you barely ever had friends before" Discord says as he stands, preparing to greet the class.

".....o-oh..Sorry, I just.." Cheerilee now felt like a dick, she had forgotten that friendship and courtesy was something he was not accustomed to.

"It's alright, i'm quite used to being treated in such a way. It's neither here nor there. Let's drop it, and get to what's important. Teaching these wonderful students about MY history." Discord takes a bow, and smiles at the class "Good morning students!"

"Good Morning Mister Discord" The class said aloud....though, with varying amounts of enthusiasm.

"Today, as the gracious Miss Cheerilee mentioned. We will be learning about the age of chaos!..and.."

Discord walks over to the chalkboard, and by turning his claws and talons into various colored chalk. He quickly scribbled, what looked like, the twisted lands of Equestria he created during "Return of Harmony".

"And there it is...." He presents it as if it was something huge.

oh shit...A landscape in a chalkboard?! Fuck...FUCK. You knew what he was gonna do....but.

But..why stop it? Why say anything about it? You knew he was gonna pull this kinda shit. Why did it even surprise you? No..this...whatever this was....was going to be fun. He was your friend, you got him here to do this...just trust in him..this was your destiny. Your only worry was that he didn't go too far with Cheerilee.

Discord said nothing more as he stayed in his presenting stance. Everyone just looked at him with irksome expressions.

"Errr..Mister Discord. Erm...aren't you going to continue?" Cheerilee asked. Already getting the feeling she made a mistake.

She didn't realize how big of one she made.

"What, nopony is going to dive in?" Discord said, tapping his foot with impatience

"Dive in?...what are you talking about? Discord...please tell me this wasn't another joke" Cheerilee put a hoof to her head getting frustrated "Please tell me there's more to this than just a drawing...what are we even supposed to learn from it?"

Discord let out a cruel chuckle "...why...we're gonna learn everything. And since nopony wants to dive in..." Discord taps the side of the chalkboard. Suddenly, like a black hole. Everything starts to get dragged towards the chalkboard. Everything..and everyone.

"DDDIISSSSCCCCOOORRDDD!" Cheerilee was the first to fall in, screaming in anger as she became a part of the chalkboard.

Yep.....shoulda expected it. At this point, why should you be worried? This didn't directly affect you. And if you read his words right. No one was in danger...it's not like he was going to make you suffer..right?

You just put your chin on the bottom of your hoof as you just sat there. looking upon the vortex as students started screaming and being pulled in, you could feel the pull. But the pull's strength seemed random. One by one, it pulled students in.

Discord just stared at you with a smile "Not surprised .Anon?"

"Nope...Let me guess, we're all going to get sucked into a replica of what happened. right?

Discord nodded "Good guess! An extra credit “A” for you! Not worried at all? not even a little bit?" He challenges your senses.

"I know you're not going to hurt a bunch of foals Discord. Fluttershy would have a cow if you were going to make them suffer."

"Ohhhhh...well" Discord swayed his hips mockingly at you "When you put it that way, it does make sense that this is purely for fun. I'll just have to think of something more....personal...for you later. Is that what you'd like?"

Ok....you didn't need that.

"Alright, alright. Relax..You don't need to start shit. I'm with you on this, So..err...what exactly is the..WOAH!"

You flip off your desk and grab onto Cheerilee's Desk as the vortex starts to intensify.

"Just follow my lead Anon, and you'll do fine" Discord says, not affected by the vortex..not one bit.

"O-ok!..Wait..Am I going to drop onto a pile of foals when i hit the cNGHHH" You almost slip, but you pull yourself back across.

"Anon, stop worrying! everypony who hits that vortex appears on the ground, sitting down, in a world of my creation. So don't worry your cute little head."

That's funny because thats exactly what you were worried about. your head. "A-alright....So...erm..letting go now"

"Seeya there Anon! We're going to have some real real fun! You'll see!" Discord says with joyful optimism.

You let your hooves slip, and get pulled into the chalkboard vortex.

A bright light hits you. Blinding you for a moment.

And as you opened your eyes. "....oh....woah.."

You were sitting among your classmates on a checkboarded hill. All around you was chaos. The sky was green. Clouds were pink. Trees were floating, houses were upside down, everything was topsy turvy.

And thankfully, just as Discord said. You were sitting on your butt.

"Ahhhh! We're Doomed!" many of the students were screaming out.

"Ahh shoulda known Discord was up to no good" Applebloom was telling the others.

Cheerilee was trying to keep her cool. She was obviously angry and scared "D-don't worry Everypony. Stick close to me. I-I'll figure a way out."

"Diamond Tiara, W-what are we going to do?!" Silver Spoon asked her in fright.

Diamond just shrugged "It'll be ok, Mister Discord is actually really nice. I bet this is part of the lesson."

"H-how do you know?" Silver Spoon shivered

"Because, I've talked to Mister Discord before. He's actually really nice." Diamond wasn’t worried, not one damn bit.

Oh man, it was pure pandemonium. You started to feel a little guilt for being so aloof.

...speaking of aloof.

You start to hear the ground shift under you, as you hear a crackling noise. "What the..."

You look behind yourself...you were on the edge of a cliff....

Fuck!

You try to rush from the edge, but the ground ahead of you splits off from the rest of the hill. You end up falling backwards towards your death. "FUCK YOU DISCOOOOOORRDD!"

You fall down..and down..and down..

and when you hit the ground below. You sink into it, then it bounces, launching you back up, past the cliff.....as you land directly on your head..right in front of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

"Anon!" Diamond Tiara cheered "I was wondering where you were!" She naively hugs you, unaware of your...usual pain.

And then, in another flash of light. In front of the entire class. Discord appears with his snaggletooth grin. Donned in a purple suit. Wearing a purple top hat. And his pawn and talons ontop of a cane with the letter "D" at the top.

"Discord! What are you doing?! You said..you promised...You gave me yourOOP!" Cheerilee is stopped short as she is placed in a bubble. Her yells cannot be heard.

Discord just blows gently on the bubble and sends her flying straight up. This frightens most of the class. Enough that they gasp and shiver in fear. The CMC step up to him, finding the whole thing wrong.

"Anon...What is your dad up to?" Diamond Tiara asks naively as she finished hugging you, enjoying the moment. unafraid of what could happen.

looking at his clothes, you think...you actually had some sort of idea. Was he seriously doing a Willy Wonka bit? "uhhh...I'm not exactly sure. I didn't know he was going to do this. But....he said he'd be nice about it. We'll just have to wait and see"

"You don't know?! What if he's keeping us here as hostages?!" Silver Spoon began to panic

"Nah, why would he hold Anon hostage with us? He's his dad. Nope, I bet it's gonna be something fun!" Diamond Tiara said with excitement.

...it could be...you just hoped it didn't involve missing children.

"Ahh knew it! Ah just knew it! Ah knew you were up to no good Discord!" Applebloom said as she bravely stepped forward.

"Knew what? You can't know what's going to happen" Discord twirled his cane around then tapped it onto the ground "I haven't started the lesson yet"

"How is this a lesson?" Sweetie Belle asked, coming from behind Applebloom.

"Yeah, you tricked Miss Cheerilee! That wasn't very nice!" Scootaloo growled at him, angry to as to what he has done.

"Tricked? me?...nahh" Discord waved his paw dismissively "I'm being true to my word. But simply explaining how my empire worked is NOT good enough. So I created this replica...where the impossible...is possible. For example...you, Anon's chicken friend"

"Chicken friend?! WHAT?! That's it Discord! I'm gonna let you have it!" Scootaloo was deeply insulted. She wanted to pound on Discord.

"Well then...why don't you? Come on" Discord beckoned her, then pointed to his chin "Why don't you just try to hit me? Or do you need the wings my son gave you to reach up this high? Ohhh...but you can't use them now..can you? Did somepony have a morning flight?"

Scootaloo just flew into rage. She hated the fact she couldn't fly normally. And while the wings you gave her brought her great joy. It being pointed out as the only way to fly IS the wings infuriated her. "Grrr! I'll show you! TAKE THIS!"

Scootaloo jumped...and flew right up to Discord and clocked him in the chin. Sending his head up mechanically like a rock em' sock em' robot. Scootaloo then grinned at him, while hovering in place while her wings fluttered. "Ha! How'd you like that?"

Another Discord, still in the same attire, sidestepped into the scene and leaned on what appeared to be a now broken version of himself. "oh, I'm not the one you should be asking that question. Why don't you ask yourself instead?"

"What in the? How did y-..right..your mag-..wait a second" Scootaloo noticed she was at eye level with Discord. She then looked down. "Am...I really flying..with my own wings?"

Discord nodded, this time with a gentler smile "You are my dear, indeed you are. You see...In my world. Anything is possible. Why don't you see for yourself? unlike the wings Anon gave you, you have no limitations here. Go ahead...try it...I know you want to"

Scootaloo was completely fascinated by what was going on. She flitted to the left, then the right. "I'm really flying!...S-so..It won't run out or nothing?"

"Nope! Now go ahead...have fun!" Discord stepped back, to let her have more room.

"Girls look, I'm flying, I'm flying with my own wings!" Scootaloo said with excitement. Using her own wings being an accomplishment to her, above using the cardboard wings.

"Wow! That’s ama-...wait..." Sweetie Belle looked to Discord "isn't letting her fly around doing something nice? Discord...are you doing something nice?"

"Ahhh young filly, it may seem impossible. But that's because chaos is so misunderstood. Isn't there something you thought that was impossible that you wanted to do?" He asks her

"...U-umm..well. I've always wanted to have magic as good as somepony like Twilight." Sweetie Belle tells him, now a little entranced by the possibility of doing the impossible.

"Well, why want when you already have?" Discord leaned over his cane and grinned at her

"what?" Sweetie Belle was confused

Discord chuckled at her "I said, why want when you already have it. Why don't you try casting a complicated spell. Go ahead, just think it"

"Just think it?" She asks

"yes...it's not that complicated. Just..give it a go" Discord sighed, a little impatient.

"hrnn" Sweetie Belle wondered, now curious due to Scootaloo's ability of flight. She pointed her horn at an empty space.....and made a huge glass bowl of ice cream appear. big enough to dive into. "woah! It works!"

"Mhmmm, I told you. Now then...any more complaints?" Discord asked

Applebloom herself started to falter. The impossible was now possible? Did that mean she could do whatever she wanted?..still "What about Miss Cheerilee?..and the lesson?"

"You're in the lesson my dear. As for your teacher. She'll be fine, she's just floating in the bubble right now. Come now, this is the history of the reign of chaos. Whatever you thought you couldn't do..you now can! Isn't there something you wanted to do..that..I don't know....your sister wouldn't like, but you would?"

Now Applebloom was enticed. "...e-ermm...a-actually.A-ah always wanted to try being a grown up. Sometimes mah sister can be a bit of a butthead, tellin' me I'm always too young or small or somethin'...and for once ah...Eep!" Suddenly, Applebloom's voice started to deepen..and change.

And that wasn't the only thing that changed. She was taller, she was older....oh mercy, her longer mane, and cute bow......she was hot.

"A-a..what happened?! Ahm taller!" She was spooked, she didn't even notice her growth spurt.

Discord poofed up a giant mirror for her to look at "Take a look"

Applebloom peered into the mirror, and went wide eyed "I-is that me?"

"It is, you are now an adult, just like you wanted. And being an adult..that would mean...." He stops to let her finish.

"Ah can do whatever ah want! Woah! ah can do whatever ah want and nopony can tell me not to do it!" Applebloom hopped about in excitement.

"Exactly!..And to all of you" Discord looks at the now bedazzled foals, who were amazed at the CMCs’ exploits. "The lesson is simple! My rule was the best rule. A world of NO rules. Now, I always thought the best way of learning was through experience. So then, Go my little ponies, and enjoy yourselves!"

The entire class was enamored by this. Doing whatever you please? not one of them thought this was bad. And before you knew it. All of them spread out to do their own shit.

"Anything we want? Silver Spoon..do you think we can..." Diamond Tiara began to wonder

"ohhhh! I already think it happened! Diamond, look at your Head! Look at your sides!"

Oh god. It's happened....

"Huh?" Diamond Tiara reached up to her forehead with her hoof...and felt a horn. Then she looked back and saw..wings...and then...she beamed excitingly. "OH MY GOSH! OOHH MY GOSH! I'M AN ALICORN! LOOK LOOK! I'M AN ALICORN!"

"That's so amazing! You look so royal!" Silver Spoon stated as she took a bow

"Thank you..." Diamond giggled "Lady Silver Spoon...So..if I'm an alicorn...that makes me a princess....and that means.." She looks at you with a dreamlike smile "I need a prince"

Ohhh..you saw that coming. "W-woah...hold on there. Aren't we a little too young for that kinda thing?"

Diamond looked at you with disappointment in her eyes. "...Anon...we're destined to be together though. What does age have to do with anything?"

....right..you forget how deeply she was into you. You needed to deter her another way. As much as you loved her yourself. If this got any deeper, she may ask or even try to sneak into your room when you plop into a puddle or something. Or she may just follow you into something dangerous. Goddammit, love was complicated. “O-oh, what I meant was that we can't be together yet. We need...er....A kingdom! That's right. A kingdom. Meaning y'know, a castle..some walls..a town...stuff like that. I mean, we can do anything right? But..I'm not so good with location and stuff. I mean, you both are rich right? Wouldn't that mean you two could find the perfect spot and magically get it all set up?"

Diamond and Silver Spoon pondered on that.

"He's right....how can you be a princess without a kingdom?" Silver Spoon comes to agree with you

"I...can't...Well" Diamond Tiara smiles and points forward with determination "We'll have to fix that! Come on! Let's scope out the best place to make a kingdom!"

You didn't want to do that either. You needed to speak to Discord about all this.

"Actually. I need to speak to my dad."

"Why? C'mon..who knows how long this will last! I want to rule by your side Anon! I want to know how it feels to be married!" Diamond Tiara whined

"Errr...Married? U-ummm..You mean now?" You gulped

"Mhmm! Can you imagine it Anon? doves flying, flowers everywhere, right up on a cliff by the beachside. The soft breeze blowing through our manes. Our first dance.....and of course....when we get to say "I do" "

..oh shit nigga, she's in deep, deeper than she’s ever been. She actually has the whole wedding planned in her head. What do you even say to that?

"E-erm...y-yeah. But, doesn't your dad have to give you away too? He's...not exactly here"

"Then we'll just switch it around. Ask your dad if he'll give you away! Come on Anon, this is our chance! Don't you wanna get married?!" She was getting frustrated, all she wanted was you and you were pushing her away.

"I just....think...erm....MPH?!" You get stopped

Diamond Tiara leans in and gives you a peck on the lips "Did that help with your thinking?

Yes...NO..y-NO! DON'T ANON! DON’T GIVE IN! DAMN SHE LOOKS CUTE AS AN ALICORN! GODDAMMIT YES, NO! YES! NO! "....let me....just ask my Dad...eheh" You chuckle nervously

Diamond Tiara giggled "Ok" She then turned to Silver Spoon "Come on Silver Spoon, we gotta go set up the kingdom"

"Right behind you Princess Tiara!" Silver Spoon was excited, it all seemed like a dream.

And then..they flew off....like it wasn't even shit.

....good god...

You rushed over to Discord, who was sitting on his new throne, watching the foals play and do all sorts of chaotic shit. such as blowing up chunks of the land or riding spinning tops across hills. "Discord! Discord! We have a problem!"

"What problem? Did Timmy get out of the well again?" Discord asks you

You stop, feeling stumped for a moment. "What?..No! Look, Diamond Tiara wants you to give me up. She wants to get married!"

"Ohhh! That sounds wonderful! Of course I'll give you away to her! When does the wedding start? I need to get ready and put on my best...oh right" Discord chuckles as he looks at his suit, and tips his top hat "I'm already dressed for it"

GODDAMNNIT! "Discord! Don't joke around like that! I'm fine with...this..But I'm not going to get married! Her dad would kill me..HER MOM WOULD KILL ME!..financially...it's bad. You ever had a hospital bill, Discord? Because I can imagine it being like that times a thousand."

"Oh relax, she won't get that far. She's going to spend forever finding a spot just to set up her castle. By then, we'll reach the end part of the lesson. My defeat of course" Discord waves his paw dismissively at you as he spins his cane in the air with his magic.

...he was serious about that? "Wha? Wait...so you were serious about the whole lesson thing? Then why put Cheerilee in a bubble and let the kids just do whatever?"

"Because, it's part of the experience. See, when I ruled. All the chaos was for my personal enjoyment. So...to make a point. I'm letting them all have an ounce of my power so they could FEEL what it was like to be me back then. But just like with my fun...it'll have to end. Of course, I'll be the one taking that fateful beating. But don't you worry, I'm going to have fun with it" Discord just smiled a confident smile as he spoke.

"...huh...well...I guess it isn't that bad then...wait..is that really Applejack as a kid getting scolded?"

You point to an Applebloom who seemed to be scolding a defiant Applejack.

"Just a figment Anon, this entire realm is custom fit for fun education. Absolutely nopony can be hurt here"

"Really? Even if they blew eachother up?"

"the magic would just bounce off of their little bodies. Truuussst me, it's perfectly safe"

you sigh in relief, it seemed Discord had everything handled after all. Which means no marriage....good.

But then..you hear a cry of help from a familiar fat colt. "HAAAALLLLPPP, I CAN'T SWIM! I JUST WANTED CHOCOLATE FROM THE RIVER! I DIDN'T WANNA DROWN IN IT!"

Was that Snips?....in danger?

You raise an eyebrow at Discord "....I thought you said it was safe"

"It is! Just give it a moment, and he will realize he can just fly out of there"

"AGH! I'M SINKING! THERES NO WAY I CAN GET OUT! HELP! HELP!" Snips cries out

"Discord...he's pretty dumb. maybe you should help him...y'know...because if he drowns. Well, I mean. It wouldn't be bad for me...but still, for you? Hearth Warming Eve dinner would be all like "Aunt Fluttershy, why did Miss Twilight turn my daddy to stone" " You explain to him.

Discord was now a little annoyed. Both at you and at Snips. "Oh haha Anon, very funny. But you'll see, this whole place is absolutely idiot proof. Nopony can get hurt"

"I'M SINKING!" Snips gurgled out

You smirk at Discord, who started to growl "just give it another moment..."

"Don't worry Dnips! I'll save ya buddy!" Snails jumped into the river to save Snips.

"There see? He wouldn't dive in there not knowing there was a saf-" But then Discord gets cut off

"HELP! I DIDN'T KNOW I COULDN'T SWIM IN CHOCOLATE! SAVE US! SAVE US!" Snails calls out

"...Idiot proof you say?" You raise an eyebrow at him

"No! What I say goes....And I will prove that they can get out on their own!" Discord flies up and yells as he points to the both of them "YOU TWO! YOU DON'T NEED HELP! JUST GROW SOME WINGS..OR GILLS..OR A FIN OR TWO! IT'S NOT HARD!"

"Hey! That's a great idea!" Snips says

"Let's Do it!" Snails calls out

And in mere seconds. They had grown fins...on their heads.

"Do you think we did it right Snips?" Snails asks.

And his answer?

They both just sink into the chocolate.

You just look up at Discord and laugh at him. "yeah, real idiot proof there Discord! Nyhahahaha! and by idiot proof, I mean it's proof that you're the idiot!"

Discord started shaking his paw and talons and looked down at you "And what reason do you have to be so cocky?! Mr.Tiara?"

You immediately stop laughing as you go wide eyed and silent for a moment "Sheesh...I just found it funny. That's all. Do you know how funny it is when those two dumbshits prove someone like you wrong? On safety of all things? Way to be a spoiled sport...."

You had forgotten Discord had issues taking his own medicine. Even in the show, he always got miffed when something of his backfires.

"I'm not a spoiled sport! It's just that I have an entire process with this lesson and I don't need two foals just d-" But again he is interrupted by a third voice.

"AGH! I TRIED TO SAVE THEM LIKE RAINBOW DASH WOULD! BUT THE CHOCOLATE IS TOO THICK! HELP!" Cried Scootaloo

"....Three foals just drowning in delicious chocolate." Discord mouth was agape as he said this. He couldn’t believe how wrong he was.

But then you wonder about something else. The true point of this “lesson” "What are you even doing anyway? Teaching them that chaos is a good thing? Because that looks like what you're doing."

Discord calmly landed onto his throne and put his head above his paw as he looked at you boredly. "Do you think it's that simple?"

You nod "What else could it be?"

Discord leaned back with a soft chuckle "Oh you of little scope, this is more than just showing them that chaos is fun. It's also to show them that without an understanding of it. They can't possibly control it, and should best be left to a professional."

You raise an eyebrow at him, that didn't sound right

And you just..stare

Discord sighs and leans back "Fine...I'm just fixing my reputation with the foals of Ponyville. Since our father son duo thing has given me an entrypoint in fixing other areas of trust, I thought I'd take it by letting them have fun. But true to my word, just like my defeat, it will all come to an end and they will only have themselves to blame"

That made some more sense...but what did he mean exactly? "What does that last part mean?"

Discord points to the adult Applebloom, who was struggling with a crying fillyjack. "Look at your friend there, despite that being a shadow of her sister, she's managed to make her cry. And look at the foal on the giant top, losing control and tearing across the plains, and then there's those three foals......oh right...."

You cringe "Ahh shit...uhhhh...oh crap! They didn't drown did they?!"

OH SHIT!

you started to panic

"....hopefully not..." Discord snapped his talons. dropping Scootaloo,Snips, and Snails down into a random spot. they were spitting up chocolate.

"...I don't think I'll be drinking chocolate milk for awhile" Scootaloo twitches

You started to see what he meant. one by one, things were crashing in on the foals. Applebloom was now frightened at what she had done as the Applejack just wouldn't stop crying. It may have been a apparition, but damn was it loud. And Sweetie Belle was now having trouble getting out of that ice cream. She dove in...and now she's stuck. And shivering like mad, every grand spell she tried to escape made things worse as she summoned ladders, catapults, and other things that just fell in and sunk into the chocolate. Other foals were having trouble as well, there was even one that had his body fall apart as a joke...it wasn’t so funny now.

"Ahhh...I see...But.." You look up into the sky where Cheerilee was floating. "What about her?"
Discord shrugged "Can't win them all."

That made you chuckle a little "Guess you wouldn't really care about the opinion of a teacher,huh?"

Discord shook his head "Nope, why would I? Always demanding peace,order, and silence...egh..simply distasteful"

"Right, but you're still gonna have to do something about her. She's gonna bitch up a storm"

Discord ripped off a piece of his throne and started to bite down onto it. Smiling a toothy grin after every swallow "Oh, don't worry about that. Trust me Anon, everything is under control. My control anyway. And speaking of control.." Discord pointed behind you "looks like your Princess is coming back"

Oh shit...Diamond and Silver were back already?! "What?! How far are the-AGHHH!"

Diamond Tiara comes crashing right into you, her hooves out to manage a diving hug attack! "Anon! I'm back!" She says lovingly as she nuzzles into you

Silver Spoon lands behind her "...and we have a small problem"

"Problem? I would have never guessed..." You say near sarcastically as you just look at Discord with discontent as Diamond continues to nuzzle you.

"Yeah." Diamond Tiara hops off of you and points to the horizon, where various castles stood erect "look over there, some pretenders decided to take all the best spots!"

Silver Spoon sighed "They even took the romantic cliff near the beachside for the wedding. And when we told them to leave....they said no"

Diamond Tiara then started to get a little pushy and demanding "That's why we need you to go over there and tell them to leave! They'll listen to you!"

She started to shove at you, not too hard, but enough to get you to stand and turn to face her.

And you sighed "I'm not going to force them out of their castles..."

"What?! Why not?!" Diamond was astonished "Don't you wanna get married?!"

...ergh.. "Well...erm..."

suddenly, you hear a blast. You look into the distance, and the castles were launching cannonballs at eachother....oh fuck no...you're definitely not dealing with that. "Because they are blowing eachother up...thats why"

"Well then go in there and blow them up too then! You can do it!" Diamond cheers you on

"Yeah, just use your horn" Silver Spoon suggests

"Erm..." Good lord, do they not even realize that this wouldn't last...also. why are they so battle hungry? "Aren't we not supposed to be causing wars?"

"We aren't...they caused it! So now it's free game! Besides, they aren't an element of harmony or anypony important anyway" Diamond said..almost sounding like her old self.

Yeah...now you really understood what Discord meant. "Diamond, it's time to stop...you all had your fun..what little there was before things started to go out of control. But we need to stop before somepony gets really hurt"

Diamond started to get impatient "Who's going to get really hurt? Just go in there and tell them to leave! or use your magic! c'mmooonnn"

"No...and the reason for that isOOOHHHHHH" You are stopped short as a small cannonball smashes into your head. everything turning white and black at the same time as Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon gasped. "......and thats why I'm not doing it.....goodnight" You say in a daze before falling over unconcious

It didn't take long for you to wake up. Diamond Tiara was tending to you as you awoke. "Ergh...w-what happened?"

Diamond Tiara felt ashamed, she didn't think anything would actually happen, hell, she didn't even realize you'd get hit before you did anything. "...you got hit by a cannonball...."

"........oh....ouch!" You winced as you put your hoof on your head. You were bandaged up. "..ow...are those bandages?"

"Mhmmm, Mister Discord wrapped your head up in bandages so it wouldn't hurt so bad...I don't know how just bandages would help...but..are they helping? Do you need a massage?" She started to tear up, feeling guilty, as if it was her fault

awww....now you felt bad. She looked so upset. and it looked like she may have learned something from being overly aggressive....hopefully.

You look at her with gentle eyes and wipe her tears away. and give her a gentle smile. "Hey, I'm gonna be alright. no worries..alright?"

"But it's my fault...if I didn't make those other fillies mad and threatened them. They wouldn't have shot cannonballs everywhere...Anon...I'm-"

You sigh and put a hoof on her mouth. It was time to be cute and romantic...Ugh..why even be cute and romantic?...right...because in the long run. she WAS your marefriend..and technically...well..your first actual girlfriend. God..what a life you lived. You just wanted her to be calm and happy....without rushing you with marriage… "I forgive you Diamond. It's ok...."

She just looks into your eyes with more tears, smiles, and hugs into you gently.

Yeah, these gentle hugs? You were just fine with them....it appears everyone was gathered around again. still in the chalkboard realm. as Discord sat at the throne.Everyone was back to normal at this point. "What's going on anyway?"

"Oh...umm..well...things got out of hoof and everypony asked your dad if everything can go back to normal because...well...everypony kinda went nuts." Diamond chuckled nervously "So now he's continuing the last part of the lesson."

a few of the other foals look back silently. Discord wasn't actually around. everyone was just sitting in front of his throne...waiting. And then, they began to praise you.
"Anon...you really are cool. I don't think Anypony else could take a hit on the head like that"
"Actually, I don't think anypony would have survived that. Anon must have a head of titanium or something"
"Or maybe he's been knocked in the head so many times he became resistant to head blows"
"Nah, he's the hero colt! Hero's don't take hits like that. Hey Anon, can I tap your head?"

You wave your hoof at the young aged crowed "N-no...erm...still recovering. See the bandages? I think I may have gotten really hurt"

A few of them shrugged, with one saying "I mean...I guess. You only got knocked out. I don't think any of us would have woken up from something like that...oh boy, I'm glad your dad was nice enough to help everypony."

"Yeah, I used to think he was just a big meanie. But he's so cool! we got to do so many cool things before...err..."

"We screwed up."

"Yeaaaaahhh...Well..atleast we didn't almost drown in chocolate"

Scootaloo spoke up "Hey! you try lifting Snips out of there! He's heavier than he looks!"

Snips whined "H--hey....I'm not that heavy y'know"

"....Actually, ah'm just glad that wasn't really mah sister...I was acting like a real jerk..." Applebloom said with a frown.

it seemed they all had their wishes blown up in their faces. They all learned that doing whatever you want without thinking of the consequences wasn't a good thing. Heh...good job Discord.

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!