• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,516 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

  • ...

PreviousChapters Next
Chapter 36

The three continue your trek to the cottage.

Things were getting a little out of hand. Or you thought so anyway. Seems you had some sort of hero status and you had charisma you weren't used to having before. Practically everyone you were meeting were either becoming nicer to you or becoming your friend in a short amount of time. You could have season 1's friendship lesson shit done in 5 episodes at this point.

You also think about what just happened as well. So goddamn embarrassing. You had to thank the heavens that you had the body of a young colt or that would have been extremely creepy.

You look over to Applebloom as you walk. She seemed ok. She didn't seem angry about what you said. Then again, girls are a fickle, grudge bearing bunch.
"Hey Applebloom, about what I said earlier...about umm...that stuff."

Applebloom look towards you, she seems a little confused. "Whatcha talkin' about Anon?"

"You know… how I said I prefer Pinkie Pie… I just, uhh… I got nervous. And just said something dumb. I didn't mean to say that."

"Uummm...so does that mean ya DO got a crush on me?" Applebloom seemed highly confused when she said this.

Goddammit! you suck at this. That's not what you meant! "Well… I think you're umm… a great gal and all. But. You know, we are but kids. Too young for that sort of thing and all… hahaha.."

Now Applebloom was really confused "Too young for what now? Anon, yer acting kinda weird"

DAMMIT… just be direct! Just do it before you fucking meltdown.
"What I'm trying to say is sorry… I didn't mean what I said back there. About preferring Pinkie Pie over you,. I was just saying stuff because I felt really embarrassed. And I just said the first thing that came to my head."

"Ohhhhh...ah think ah get it.umm.. Whatcha sayin' is that ya actually don't like anypony. But… wait. Now I'm really confused."

Fluttershy looks back on you two, having had heard the whole thing "I think what Anon is trying to say is he simply didn't mean to make you think he'd prefer anypony else but you. It's just he's not interested in any kind of relationship. Is that right Anon?"

Not exactly… you wanted SOMETHING… but that works. You decide to nod to that. "Y-yeah, that's it. That's it exactly"

Applebloom nods "Ah got it now! So that means if yer were interested, , you'd pick me right?"

You nod. "Yes exactly...WAIT I MEAN! AHHH..G..G.."

You didn't catch that last part due to just wanting it to be over. What a mess. But Applebloom just bursts out giggling. "Relax Anon, ahm just funnin' ya. Ah knew whatcha meant. and apology accepted… Now stop actin' all weird."


Fluttershy gave a small audible giggle.

The three of you arrive at the cottage. Fluttershy opens the door for the both of you while explaining that she'll get right on to making hay pancakes for the three of you and getting food ready for her little animal friends as well.

"Alright! now that we have time to spare, it's time to come up with new ideas to get a cutie mark! Anon, shoot me an idea!" Applebloom points to you.


Oh wait… Ponyville had arcades. "How about… Cutie Mark Crusader… arcade game… masters?"

Applebloom didn't look too keen on that. "Umm, ah dunno Anon. That doesn't sound like too good an idea"

Oh come on! She's tried so many ludicrous bullshit. What was wrong with that? "Not too good an idea? Why? I happen to be pretty good at games."

"Yeah but Anon, that's like 2 bits a pop. Plus, if it's just me, you, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. We'd go poor pretty fast. We ain't got a lot of money to begin with"

Oh… Right… That's sensible. You havn't seen any game consoles either to practice on. So that's out.

"Hmmm… Well, since yer a new member and a boy. Maybe we can use that to form some sort of team that needs a boy… Ah just can't think of any right now." Applebloom pondered

That didn't sound like too bad an idea other than the fact it sounds like you'd be putting in the most work… well… depending on what it is, because you yourself couldn't think of anything.

"Uhhhh...let's see...uhmmm......I.....I got nothing. I'm fighting to even come up with a single word here." You say.

Applebloom however, suddenly lights up like a light bulb. "Anon, yer a genius!"

......Wut? ".....huh? I just said I can't think of anything"

"Ya did, but ya also said you were "Fightin'" to think of something. See where I'm going with this?"

.....Oh come on. "...you don't mean me actually fighting do you?"

"Well yeah...sorta, Ya could join one of them colt wrestling teams, and we could be yer trainers. With three of us trainin' you. You could go from Bronco to a lean mean bucking machine!"

You raise an eyebrow. "Do any of you even know anything about wrestling to be able to do the training?"

"....Well no......But ahm sure Twilight has a book on it somewhere in the castle and-"

You interrupt Applebloom, that was a bad plan. "Rather not, I'm not that good a fighter."

"Whatcha talkin' about! You beat not one, but TWO stallions! ya could cream the hay out of any scrawny colt!"

Yeah, two stallions who were Discord. You didn't want to risk getting into any serious fights and getting actually hurt. Not in this puny body anyway.

You shake your head. "Just not interested in it Applebloom"

"Can't ya atleast give it a chance?"

You sigh "No, come on. I just moved in here and you're talking about me joining some group just to beat down some others. Count me out on that. Let's just think of something we can do together"

"...Ok" She seemed a little disappointed, but she didn't relent on thinking of something else. "How about Cutie Mark Crusader Royal Guards? With how things have been goin' lately and how Twilight don't got any guards of her own, maybe we could be her first royal guards!"

...That… was an even worse idea… "....eeeehhhhhh… I'd rather not just stand around. Besides, My dad has told me stuff about the kind of things Twilight deals with. I'd rather not be slapped around whenever some major threat appears."

"Ahh come on, there'd be four of us! What could possibly beat four crusaders?"

"...Well, for one… my dad."

Applebloom laughs nervously. "O-oh right.......mnnn" Applebloom put her head to the ground as her disappointment grew. "Ah thought this would be easier..."

So did you, she's gone through so many idea with just the other two that there wouldn't be too much to think about with just you added that wouldn't be boring. But… just in case. Let's suggest something boring. If only to throw something in to keep her from going one hundred percent depressed. "How about Cutie Mark Crusader Window Wipers… There’s probably a lot of windows in Ponyville that need washing"

You expected it to be declined, you just wanted to toss an idea out just so there'd be an idea, but Applebloom just reacts with ecstatic enthusiasm. "That's a great idea Anon!"

"It is?" Window Wiping? Seriously?!

Applebloom nods profusely. "Of course it is! There's four of us now! We'd be able to cover the window washing market in Ponyville and leave no window dirty! We'd get our Cutie Marks for sure!"

...ugh...Why did you suggest that? But you were sure that when the time came to do it that it wouldn't last more than ten minutes until it turned out to be a dud. So you just nod. "Yeah....sounds like it'd work..."

"Yeah! After ahm done eatin', ah can go tell the girls and get it ready for tomorrow… Anon, you'll be there too right? We can't do it unless we're all there."

You nod. Why not? "Yeah, I'll be there. But when exactly?"

"Tomorrow afternoon after me and the girls get out from school! You could do that can't ya?...or is your dad not gonna let you?"

No, you think Discord would. Since the loose ends should be wrapped up by then. "No, I think I can make it"

Applebloom beamed you one of the happiest smiles you've seen from her. It was heart warming. Single minded as ever. "Ah can't wait! Ah can feel it in my hooves Anon, tomorrow is gonna be it!"

You wouldn't get so excited about such a thing, but you smiled at her to show that you were willing to try… boy… how horrific would it be if this really was it. Window Wiping for the rest of your life. With the way Discord is treating the father son thing. He'd automatically disown you for being so boring and probably throw you in that tentacle pit for shits n giggles.

Fluttershy, with a plate of pancakes on her head and Angel holding two of them while standing on her back. finally announces breakfast. "Pancakes are done everypony! Please don't hesitate to dig in"


Angel hopped down from her back to hand both you and Applebloom your pancakes. And while he handed Applebloom's without an issue, he stopped when he turned to face you. And looked at you, as if something was wrong with you.

"...Uhhhh, what's up?"

"Hmm?" Fluttershy puts her own plate down to the floor carefully, then looks at her pet rabbit with a little concern "Angel? is something the matter?"

The little rabbit didn't seem to like you… Or at least seemed to notice something was off. He put the plate down away from you and started making gestures and muttering something to Fluttershy.

"Angel, I'm surprised at you! He's just a colt! He wouldn't do anything like that!"

Woah, whatever Angel said to her. Fluttershy didn't like it. This was worrisome.

"W-what did he say, Aunt Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy turned to you, and gently slid your plate of pancakes to you with her hoof. "D-don't worry about it Anon..it's just Angel being silly."

Applebloom was just as curious as you are "Ahh come on Fluttershy, what did he say?"

"Yeah, it can't be that bad" Or it could… This was Angel. He was a fucking asshole in the show. So whatever he had to say was probably none to pleasant. Hell, you wanted to know just because it seemed odd that he didn't like a cute cuddly colt like yourself.

Fluttershy gulped. "W-well… umm, he said… he uh… he said.." Fluttershy let out a false chuckle "He said Anon looked like a really shifty adult..."

Applebloom was confused "Huh? ...But he's not, are ya sure he said that?"

You began to sweat. There's no fucking way...

..Relax Anon...relax. He's a fucking rabbit. even if that wasn't somehow a guess. There's no fucking way anyone would take that seriously.

Fluttershy nodded "I'm sure Angel is just being silly...aren't you Angel? coooome on, you don't have to say such mean jokes."

Angel crossed his little arms and looked at Fluttershy seriously, then muttered some squeaks. You knew he wasn't joking. What the hell could he see? Or figure out? Just by looking at you?

Fluttershy didn't seem at all too pleased at what he was saying. "Angel! Anon would never do such a thing! Ohhhh… I want you to apologize! The thing you just said; That's very lewd!"
Fluttershy's voice had only raised just a little. But her face, she was not too pleased… not at all.

"Lewd? ummmm...What's that mean exactly?" Applebloom didn't know the meaning it seems.

You had to play carefully. it seems Angel was picking up something that you yourself wasn't sure you were letting on about. But your body was at least of a mostly natural occurrence. If Twilight's magic couldn't do shit about it, then he couldn't see through it.

"I-it's nothing… Angel, go on, apologize to Anon." Fluttershy gave him a worried stare as she pointed to you.

Angel didn't seem like he wanted to. What you didn't know was that Angel just was able to somehow read off that you weren't what you seemed. And looked like you were the type that would take advantage of a sleeping pony's butt… or would try to anyway. You look at the rabbit,and try making a convincingly emotionally hurt frown.

"Hey… come on, I-I don't know what I did. I'm really sorry if I insulted you mr, uhh... Angel. I didn't mean it."

Angel just raises an eyebrow at you… That little fucker… What was he playing at?

Fluttershy shook her head at you "No no Anon, you don't need to do any apologizing… Angel… Please… Just apologize. This is no way to treat guests"

Angel groaned, and instead of doing whatever he needs to do to apologize. He just hopped off and out the window before anyone could say anything else. Huh...

Fluttershy looked to you and apologized for him. "S-sorry Anon..I've never seen Angel be so judgemental before.....I'm really sorry.."

...Awwwww… You felt compelled to make her smile. you get up and nuzzle into Fluttershy. You didn't want her to be upset. "It's ok Aunt Fluttershy… I'm not upset. I bet he's just cranky or something. You shouldn't have to listen to whatever crazy things he had to say."

Fluttershy embraces you in a gentle hug "Mmm, It's just, I've never heard him say those kind of things about Anypony… not even Discord. I just hope nothing is wrong with him..."

Maybe you shouldn't be too surprised. Angel has always been a colossal dick. Fluttershy tells the both of you to try to get it out of your minds and enjoy your food. For Applebloom that's easy as she doesn't fully comprehend such a thing. Fluttershy even brings you all syrup and joins in. breakfast talk was kept to a minimal. Y'know, just pleasant stuff.

You were evaluating how you approached things thus far. Maybe you were too obvious? Applebloom was just talking to Fluttershy about the whole window washers thing. Nothing too interesting. You were glad Angel had left though. No doubt frustrated that Fluttershy wasn't listening… but, you weren't a bad guy. Yeah you wanted to do lewd things and such, and maybe you were capable of doing things that many ponies wouldn't… but that didn't make you a bad guy. Angel, you were sure, was just thinking negatively due to being a massive asshole.

After breakfast was over. Applebloom wanted to head her way to the clubhouse to make plans and tell the girls of the window washing idea. "Fluttershy, can't Anon come along too?"

Fluttershy shook her head "No Applebloom, he just got out of the hospital… and you shouldn't be going any further than your home either... It's dangerous."

You weren't about to protest, you weren't too excited to get started on the whole window washing thing.

"Awww, ya don't have to worry about me. Ponyville is my home! All I gotta do is be careful" Applebloom was confident she'd be ok, which she was correct in thinking at the moment.

"Still, I'd rather you just stay here… or at the very least take the safest streets back to the farm… Applebloom, this is very serious."

Applebloom's ears began to droop "Awww… are ya really that worried? Ah mean, ah think I'll be ok"

Fluttershy shook her head. "It might not be ok...Applebloom please...promise me, you'll just head straight to the farm… If Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are in the clubhouse… please… please… ask your sister go get them. I'm sure she'll know what to do afterwards.."

Applebloom was starting to understand Fluttershy's side of things. She didn't give it too much thought on how dangerous things were until mentioning that even Applejack had to be some sort of escort for her friends. She felt maybe things might really be that serious even after she knew you gave those two foalnappers a pummeling. She gave a slow nod. "Alright, I promise… I just hope they catch these guys soon..."

Fluttershy gave her reassuring smile "I'm sure they will...Discord is helping...and if I know him… he'll have them nabbed by the end of the day. And then you all can go for that window washing cutie mark! I can be your first customer if you want."

Applebloom instantly brightened up "Ya will! Really?!"

Fluttershy nodded

"Gee thanks Fluttershy! Oh, and Anon… You're definitely DEFINITELY going to show up tomorrow right?" Applebloom looked as cheery as she could be after hearing Fluttershy's words.

You nod "Umm, yeah. I mean… if the fillynappers are caught of course. You can count on me!"

"Alright! ah can't wait!" And with that, Applebloom had made her way out. Fluttershy went to her window to make sure she got all the way to town carefully.

You wish you could just tell everybody it was a ruse at this point… but fine, it was ok… Just stick with it. You had to trust in Discord. You were now alone with Fluttershy however… and, it didn't seem there was much to do.

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
PreviousChapters Next
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!