• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 104

"Hey, as long as you come. It really doesn't bother me. The party is tomorrow, plenty of time to check the invite. So uhh.." You give Twilight a gentle tap to the leg. "Don't sweat it"

Really don't, you didn't need her tarding out. Twilight was usually used to her friends, or ponies in general being pretty sensitive about matters like these. Especially Pinkie, the fact you were the exact opposite was actually a breath of fresh air for her. Especially with the way you saw it… even though it was pretty much common sense.

"Ok, I won't. In fact, let's switch the subject back to Daring Do. I bet you've been looking for somepony else to talk to about it now that you're reading it right?" Twilight was pretty excited to hear you say "yes"

Uhhhh… You shake your head. "Uhh, not really. I'm not even very far in the first book, Kind of got preoccupied with other things."

Twilight cocked an eyebrow at you "Like what? Don't you only have to worry about school? Anon, I hope you're not one of those kind of ponies who don't read a book all the way through. You're really missing out if you are."

Oh hell no, who is she to insinuate shit. Sure she didn't know that this world was still fresh to you, but goddamn. "Don't assume things Twilight. My life has been pretty up the wall since I got here. What with Cutie Mark stuff and then that crazy happening at the Crystal Empire. I usually go to bed pretty tired. And don't assume I'm having a bad time either. Because I'm not."

Twilight went silent, and stepped back from you. To her, that was. A heavy response. She was only wanting to explain to you the wonder of books. "...I… uhm… Sorry?"

Well, you shut her up. It was, strangely easy to do.

You sigh, wow. No wonder she always seemed to have a heart attack whenever Discord was nearby. She herself was pretty uptight. You were afraid that if she ever found out the truth that she would go full "Lesson Zero" mode on how easily she was fooled. "It's fine. I'm sorry for snapping at you. Can we talk about something other than books? Please?"

Twilight nodded, she felt that was best as well. She was afraid of saying something that might upset you again. Though, your reaction in general intrigued her. She was wondering what could had happened to make you snap like that. Was it trauma? Did something bad happen to you that was book related? Were you attacked by books while you were a foal? All these thoughts and more circled in her head. "Alright, but can I ask you one question Anon?"

You nod, that seemed harmless. "Sure"

"You do like books....right?"


You nod. "Yes, I like books" You had a hint of irritation in your voice. Seeing Twilight was probably not the best of ideas.

Twilight pondered a little, Well. It looked like it wasn't some sort of book trauma. "Can I ask you another question?"

You gaze at her, your expression turning sterner. "Is it about books?"

Twilight shakes her head, her expression becoming more concerned. "No, it's about you and your father. I just want to be absolutely sure of something. I want to be sure that he's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing. Colts your age shouldn't be displaying this kind of stress. Not unless there was something going on at home."

...Well, you couldn't be upset at the question. You did want to try to paint up you and Discord's relationship in as good a light as possible. "I'm just stressed because I'm overwhelmed by things outside of my house. We have a school project going on, that I need to finish tomorrow. I have five fillies trying to get me a Cutie Mark. And that alone is ridiculous because I had to go up against Big Mac in a fight, and then there's these two colts who we-"

"WHAT?! WHY WOULD BIG MAC FIGHT YOU?! H-he's always been so gentle… and" Twilight eyed you closely, no marks. "...Did you beat him down? That's… improbable"

...Dammit Twilight. "It was a mock fight. Nopony got hurt. And I didn't end up winning. But it was just weird. I was going to the clubhouse and there it was. a fighting ring. and the next thing I know I was getting shoved into a fight by my friends. Why? To see if I could get my cutie mark just because I beat up those two stallions. And as you can see, fighting is not my forte" You point to your blank flank.

"Oh. So it wasn't an actual fight. And... Well, that would be pretty stressful." Twilight thought of how she would react if she was suddenly thrown into that kind of situation. "Ok, I think I'm understand now."

...You sigh in relief. Good.

"Well Anon. I'm glad to know your father isn't the one causing you stress. But, do you know what I think you should do about all this?"


Twilight entered what you liked to call "Moral mode". She was about to give you a lesson of friendship in her usual way. "I think you should have a talk with your friends and tell them to slow down with this Cutie Mark business. Everypony gets their Cutie Mark eventually. It's not something that can just be forced. I'm sure if you tell them that then everything will be ok"

You nod, but that was something you already figured you could do. It's just they had a little trouble understanding that. "Ok. So, er… can I suggest a topic of discussion now?"

Twilight looked impressed by that wording. ""Topic of Discussion"?" Twilight giggled "I wouldn't mind that at all, but if you want to discuss topics with me Anon. I hope you're ready to play "keep up". I'm no simple mare."

OH REALLY?! Now that, while demeaning, made you want to put her in her place. But what topic should you bust out? "Good, because I'm no simple colt."

You had a determined tone in your voice, a tone Twilight picked up on. "I never said you were, I'm actually taking this as an opportunity to teach you a few things you may have not known. Think of it as a free tutoring session… er" Twilight laughed nervously with a sheepish smile "I'd never make you or anypony pay or anything like that. I just meant it in a sense of being challenged."

Challenged huh? Hrnnnn… You got it. "Let's talk changelings."

Twilight was surprised, very surprised in fact. And she suddenly looked at you suspiciously. "Changelings?......Why them?"

You could already tell why she was looking at you that way.

"I'm not some escaped changeling Twilight. I'm being serious. There's a few things that bug me when it comes to changelings."

At a risk of insulting you. Twilight decides not to question you to find out if you were a changeling. But she stays at caution. This was a very random subject to pull out. And you weren't acting like the cute little colt she was used to.

"Ok Anon, what about changelings do you want to discuss?"

"Well, first of all, they feed on love. Right?"

Twilight nods "They do, they can feed on other positive and strong emotions. But love is their main food source as it is nutritional to them"

So far so good. You were still interested from that discussion with Chrysalis about making some sort of truce with the princesses. And since Twilight IS a princess. You could find out from the other side of the spectrum what they thought on the matter. Even if bias was going to be prevalent. "And that's all they can feed on, right?"

Twilight nods.

"Then, let's say you hadn't sealed them up in Tartarus. Couldn't you and the other princesses come up with some solution to allow them to coexist with you?"

Twilight shook her head "Anon? What are you talking about? Are you actually suggesting we try to make peace with changelings after what they have done?"

Come on Twilight, stay focused. You wanted to debate this. Not for her to get on some moral high horse. "I'm only suggesting that some effort could have been put forth to try to keep peace between two races. I want to hear your thoughts. What I don't want to hear is the morality of it."

Twilight was greatly impressed by your level of thought. She was caught completely off guard. She was even more suspicious of you now. No colt talks like that, and you weren't acting at all like you were before. She began secretly preparing a spell. While she herself was becoming more interested in the subject itself. "Well, I… If it wasn't for the fact that they always attacked and even tried to overthrow entire kingdoms. Then maybe something could have been done. Anon, if you were there during the attack on Canterlot. You would see first hoof how evil they can be."

"But maybe they did that because that's all they knew at that point. They've obviously existed for a long time. If they always had to stalk the shadows for food, then that tells me no actual meetings took place to discuss some sort of treaty or truce. Explain that." Twilight took a moment to think.

"I… I cannot confirm or deny that. But I've learned about changelings from my teacher, Princess Celestia. They are never to be trusted Anon. They lie and manipulate. Even in books of old. They have always taken what they wanted without giving back. It's hard to set up peace talks when all they want to use them for is to drain love from a large crowd. They manipulate, they feed, they grow. And they don't care about anypony but themselves."

"Ok, let me ask you this then. If Queen Chrysalis came to you, herself, without her hive. And asked you, Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle, for a second chance. A chance to show you that she could change. Would you let her?"

Twilight looked at you, with very stern eyes. "......."


Twilight's tone, it shifted to a tone to match her now suspecting notions. "That depends, would she actually intend on turning good? Or reforming? Or would it all be a trap?"

You had thought that yourself. It could be a trap. Seems Twilight was along the same thought process you were. But what was wrong with her? She looked like she was getting ready to zap something. "I honestly couldn't tell you. I've been thinking about it myself. I mean, Dad used to be a bad guy too. And now he's good. And, might I add, a great dad. But I agree changelings are pretty shifty and violent, among other things" Like being seductive.

"Well, I don't think it could just be up to me. The changelings are, as far as anypony knows, evil to a fault. I think it'd require the decision of all of the princesses to even think on that kind of decision. And even then, if we turned out to be wrong. We'd be opening up whatever town or city they would call home to a possible ambush. Anon, the safety of ponies we know are good trumps giving the changelings a chance, simply because we know them as evil."

...Egh, you couldn't call bullshit. You didn't know if Chrysalis was being genuine or not. And this debate wasn't as insightful as you hoped. You could practically guess what Twilight's stance was going to be on every question. "Let's say, for the sake of argument, that you, and you alone had to make a decision. Would you be willing to work with the changeling queen to make some sort of truce? And help her and her hive become citizens in Equestria? Like any other pony would be?"

"Again, that depends Anon."

"On what?"

"The fact that you are trying to manipulate me into making a decision by myself, hoping that I'd come to some sort of understanding and just unseal your hive. I don't know how you escaped. But I'm not going to let you escape!"

Huh? Escape what? "Twilight? What are you talking about?" You looked at her, puzzled, you tried stepping towards her, but she yelled at you the moment you took a step.

"Don't even take a step. I can't believe you managed to fool me again. But you made one mistake."

You stop, the fuck was she talking about?

"Twilight? What are you..." You noticed her horn started to glow, with a fierce intensity. "Twilight?"

You started to step back

"Don't move!" Twilight was looking around for something, what? You didn't know. She was suddenly acting crazy.

"Twilight! What are you thinking?! Have you lost your mind?!"

"Nice try Queen Chrysalis, I've managed to figure you out before. And I've figured you out now. And this time I'm not going to sit back and let you try to bring your hive back through me. No, I'm going to send you right to them!"



"You can't be Anon. Anon is a smart pony yes. But he's still just a colt. You tipped me off the moment you started talking like an adult. And changelings. Really? You didn't think I'd catch on to that?"

Fuck it, she's gone nuts. You try to retreat through the door. But you couldn't move. You look down, and notice a red sigil under you. The same kind of sigil that sealed up the hive. "What's this?!"

"Something I had been studying. A weaker version of the sealing spell we used on your hive. This version can be used by a single alicorn like myself. You've messed with the wrong mare this time!"

OH SHIT! Chains started to bind onto you, restricting your movement completely. "Twilight, you can't do this! I'm Anon! I can prove it!"

"Then do it, I'll give you a chance" Twilight couldn't refuse a chance. But she was so sure of it. So damn sure.

"My saddle bag, see? My stuff is in here. Like the invite for my Dad."

Twilight took another look at your saddle bag. This time she took more notice of the fact it had some damage on it. Like it had been thrown around and such. ".....Where's the real Anon, Chrysalis?"


"I can see the bag, it looks like you got in a tussle. Tell me where he is Chrysalis. I won't ask you again." Twilight looked dead serious.

You look at the bag… Fucking shit. She was right, you barely noticed that Chrysalis's bolt barrage had caused some obvious burnt marks. You couldn't explain that. AND YOU WASTED YOUR DAMN CHARGE ON SCOOTALOO TOO, SO YOU CAN'T EVEN ESCAPE! You could feel the chains get tighter. They rubbed firmly along your body. It made it a little harder to breath. "Twilight… stop. Please. Please listen."

That wouldn't work. Goddammit Anon, think… think. You only had one move.


Twilight looked back and jumped forward in fright, close enough that you could reach into your bag and toss your lunchbox at her face. Breaking her concentration on the spell, and making the chains release you.

You don't even say another word, you head to the exit. Twilight, realizing there's no changelings behind her. Gives chase.

NOPENOPENOPE. You kick the door of the library into her face and rush downstairs. Fuck this shit, Chrysalis was right.

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