• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,515 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 10

Applebloom stepped up a little past the other two to do some kind of "official" ...thing..or something. "Howdy Anon, Welcome to Cutie Mark Tours! We'll be your tour guides! I'm Applebloom, but ah… you already knew that.”

Sweetie Belle then stepped up and gave you a cute smile "And I'm Sweetie Belle, it's nice to meet you Anon. I'll give you the scoop on any place you really really wanna know about! Like the Carousel boutique!"

Then Scootaloo stepped up "And I'm Scootaloo...I uhh… umm… Applebloom… what was my line?"

Applebloom turned to her as sweetie belle did a facehoof, shaking her head "...Info on other ponies Scootaloo, Ya know, like Rainbow Dash"

Scootaloo nodded and laughed nervously "Oh right, eheh" She turned to you with and gave you a big smile "I do that."

Christ… They rehearsed it… and still failed. "Hello...girls..I guess. Um. I'm Anon, and I'm… your customer."

You didn't know what to say. You just went with it the best you can. The faster you get it over with. the better. Sweetie Belle went and opened the door out of the clubhouse as Applebloom and Scootaloo led you out.

Applebloom noting your less than enthused expression. "Come on Anon, ya don't have to be scared. We'll make sure nothin' bad happens to you."

Scared… Right. Well… at least they weren't being assholes. You thought maybe you should lighten up. They didn't know any better. They didn't know you're real self. And at least they were trying. I mean hell, you watched enough episodes. You knew they were given hell by two fucking assholes for not having tattoos on their fucking asses.

You took a small breath. "Yeah, I guess I am a little nervous. Ponyville is really new to me. I just don't want to get lost. Thanks for the tour, by the way."

Applebloom smile became brighter from your words "Well we won't let nothin', and ah mean nothin', happen to ya! Ain't that right girls?”

All four of you walked out as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle agreed with Applebloom. "And besides, I've been getting better with my magic. If anything happens. I'm sure I can handle it." Sweetie Belle said, a hint of arrogance in her voice as she looked up proudly.

"And I know a few moves I learned from Rainbow Dash, I may not be able to fly yet. But I can fight! So don't worry about any bad guys showing up! You're safe with us!" Scootaloo gave a small buck and flitted her wings for a short hovering kick.

Ok… That's kind of cute. You doubted there was any danger. But, they were dedicated. And didn't want you to be hurt. It was endearing to say the least. They marched in front of you as you kept pace. It was a little difficult as you weren't 100% on actual long distance walking. And they were going on a vigorous pace. The three of you stop by at Sweet Apple Acres… again. You can see Big Mac working in the distance.

Applebloom spoke up first "This here is Sweet Apple acres! This is where the Apples-"

You stop her, raising your hoof "Umm.. Applebloom. I already know about this place. I was here yesterday, remember?"

Applebloom blushed and smiled, she forgot about that. "Eheh.. oops."

Sweetie Belle hopped up "that means you get to see the Carousal boutique next! come on!" She hopped up and started leading the way ahead of the rest of you.

You stifled a chuckle. Ok, watching them on TV was a little annoying. But actually being part of it was cute and nice. You could actually really get the vibes that they are trying their best.
You all arrive at Rarity's as Sweetie Belle rushes up and points to it with her hooves, putting on a big smile.

"This is the Carousal Boutique, Anon! The very center of fashion and style in all of Equestria! Ponies from all around come here to see my sister, Rarity! Hold your applause! Because you have yet to see the wonders that lay inside!" Sweetie Belle then looked to Applebloom and Scootaloo "How was that?”

They both clopped their hooves together. "Perfect!"

Sweetie Belle suddenly panicked. "No, I said hold your applause! HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE!"

You chuckled. These three...geez. This isn't nearly as bad as you thought. Sweetie Belle noticed your chuckle and seemed to have thought you weren't impressed. And tried a recovery "Ahrmm.. Umm. A-anyway... Why don't we take a step inside? Shall we?"

Sweetie Belle opened the door slowly. Then she suddenly looked to you with a serious face. "Oh… Anon..Dooooooooon't touch anything ok? I don't want my sister to get upset."

You raised your hoof to make a "ok" gesture… But you didn't have fingers, so you just sorta waved. "Gotcha."

The four of you go inside. And what you see is nothing short but perfection in the art of style… Well, that's what you thought. But what the hell do you know? It's not like you knew shit about pony style. Mannequins in various dresses,saddles, and hats. Threads,spindles, chests, and various high quality material as far as the eye can see.

You looked around. You wanted to touch some of the material to feel it's quality. But Sweetie Belle warned you not to. And if Rarity was around... "This is pretty amazing stuff. Looking at all these clothes. I kinda hope your sister can make me an outfit one day… Speaking of, is she here?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head "Nope, she's busy collecting gems with Spike. But if you’re thinking of touching anything, don't. My sister can tell if something got touched… truuuusst me."

Right...ugh. but the urge was growing each time it was mentioned. You inched over to a dress that seemed to be a work in progress. As Sweetie Belle started to lose herself in some sort of History speech of the boutique. Scootaloo and Applebloom, lost themselves at looking at a few of the dresses.

You eye the dress. It had a nice sun bonnet with a blue ribbon. Hoof sleeves seemed incomplete. The dress itself was blue as well, with some blue sparkly gems on it. But it didn't seem complete.

You take a swift look around. Nopony is paying attention… You stare at it more intently as you bring your hoof slowly towards it. Just one touch… One touch…

You gently rub your hoof along the side of the dress ...Oh… Good lord… So soft, clean… smooth… silky… You may not know what is truly high quality, but this… this had to be the highest quality regardless.

"......and so now that my sister is partnered with Sapphire Shores. That makes bus-..Anon, are you paying attention?" Sweetie Belle looks over to you.

Oh shit!

You quickly turn around and salute. "Y-yup! was just looking at this dress. I-it looks pretty nice."

Scootaloo moved closer to you to take a look at it herself. She didn't seem impressed. "Anon… it's not even done yet. It doesn't even look that good."

Sweetie Belle giggled at that remark. "Scootaloo, if my sister heard you say that. She'd probably use you as a pin cushion or something. Haha!"

All three of them giggled. You escaped notice....you also saw nothing funny about being used as a "pin cushion". But chuckled anyway as to not seem contrary.

"My turn My turn! Get ready Anon, We're going to the greatest spot in ALL of Ponyville!"

"Twilight's castle?"

Scootaloo shook her head, then made some sort of heroic pose… thing "Ppfft, no! We’re going to the house of the greatest pony who ever lived EVER!" She suddenly hopped up in excitement "RAINBOW DASH!"

Somehow this tour was seeming less like a tour and more like a "Let's go visit these fillies favorite places" sorta thing. You also felt the urge to say "Rainbow Dash isn't so great". both to see Scootaloo's reaction and because she was topcunt… But you kept your mouth shut. You didn't want to ruin their fun.

You followed them once again. You were trying to remember… Was Rainbow Dash's house in Ponyville? You remember it being off to the side of the town..but whatever. Not like you knew the city limits.

You actually started thinking of the dicktastic duo. You kind of wanted to try putting them in your place. You wondered how much you could get away with. You couldn't hit them. No doubt hitting Diamond Tiara would lead into some terrible repercussions due to her rich father. Cursing at them? No… they'd just call you a stupid silly poneanderthal. Shit… Fuck, you got nothing.

Applebloom noticed you lost in thought and inched slowed down to walk alongside you. "You ok Anon? you aren't bored, are ya?”

You shook your head. "Nah, just thinking about a few things. Sorry if I don't seem like I'm enjoying myself. I'm not the type to just hop around all excited."

Applebloom noted this, and looked deeper into your eyes "But ya are enjoyin' the tour, right?" You nod. making her beam, beam, beam.

"Yeah!... but" She tilted her head in confusion “Why do ya look like yer not enjoyin' yourself then, is what ya thinking about bad or somethin'?" She suddenly frowned "Yer not thinking about yer parents are ya? yer real ones?"

You shook your head, and gave her a smile. "Nah, just thinking of some things to do now that I'm in Ponyville. There's a lot of things I wanna do. Things I'd never thought I'd get the chance to do… ever. It's overwhelming."

Applebloom gave you a small nudge with her body "No worries Anon, if ya ever need anything or wanna do somethin' the Cutie Mark Crusaders will be there! We wouldn't mind at all if ya hung out with us… You know, it'd be a lot simpler if you were a Cuuuutie Mark Crusader. Don'tcha think?"

You look at her, and hold back a sigh. She was persistent. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Even if you couldn't get your Cutie Mark. You wouldn't have to worry about not having any friends or being alone. Even if you were smarter than them. They were positive, endearing, cute, and they didn't hate you… That last part being a definite plus.

You chuckle. "I'll think about it Applebloom."

You give her a reassuring smile. It seems to fill her with energy as she skips and hops ahead to tell her two friends that you might as well have said yes… even if you didn't. You laugh again though. this was a huge contrast to human children. it was comical.

Scootaloo seemed to get more excited with every step. "Come on! We're almost there!"

You look back, yup. The town was beind you. Not too far off. But enough. You look ahead, and you could already see it. Rainbow Dash's ridiculously nice looking cloud house.

You all eventually finally arrive. Scootaloo takes her turn as she stands under RD's house and points straight up "Ahrm.. Witness, Anon, the greatness that is RAINBOW DASH… 's house."

You look up, it was pretty great. You whistle to it's beauty and splendor "Wow, I gotta admit. It's really something to see."

Scootaloo smirked and nodded "Of course it is, It's the greatest place ever! And you’re in for a treat Anon, Because I happen to know Rainbow Dash is here, right now!"

That… seemed irksome. "How do you know that, Scootaloo? did you follow her or something?"

Scootaloo nodded. "Yuuuup!"

...Creepy. "So, am I gonna get to meet her or something? I dunno, I don't feel like I should, she's pretty great." You just didn't want to meet her at all. Not at all. You actually wanted to go to Sugarcube Corner.

Scootaloo waved her hoof at you "Don't worry Anon, Rainbow Dash is super cool. You're gonna love her, trust me!"


Sweetie Belle looked up "How are you going to get her attention Scootaloo? it's not like we can't fly up there."

Scootaloo suddenly froze up, then looked down, saddened "...Oh right… I… didn't think of that."

Applebloom however, stepped between them and smiled "Ah know! If we all hollar, she's sure to hear us and come down!"

Scootaloo then perked up. "Great idea Applebloom! Yeah! Let's do it!"

...Oh christ. Before they even line up, you put your head down and cover your ears. This was going to hurt.

"RAINBOW DASH! RAINBOW DASH! RAINBOW DASH!" They yelled. All three in unison.

You could still hear it… oyyyggghhh.

Then, you hear it. They began to cheer. You slowly look up as you see it. The flying blue blur, the toppest of cunts herself.

Rainbow Dash!

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