• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,516 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 322

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Filthy Rich buys some food
Anon is suspicious
And Princess Celestia gets a bit dirty

Author's Actual Note: This chapter is a fucking mess. It was missing multiple posts from the original version that I had to rewrite (most notably with the mares, three posts detailing their personalities and conversation were missing) some of it. I'm not too pleased, and at this moment, I wonder if the last few chapters are missing any posts.

After the defeat of the criminal pair, the griffon returned to try to receive some extra payment for having to wait so long. Being the heroic and fair pony he was, Mr. Rich provided him with yet another small bag of bits.

As for the criminals themselves, Mr. Rich bundled them tightly into a ball of bits. Then, on a stream of bits, you both rode off to Trottingham to drop off the pair at a police station or whatever pony equivalent there was and leave before being seen, or at least you think, kinda hard not to notice bits being strewn about everywhere. Still, you both decided it'd be better not to make yourselves known.

Mr. Rich, however, traveled all the way back to the same cliff you both started at rather than going home. He stood heroically at the edge as his cape blew in the wind. You just looked at him as the cape slowly began to turn to dust in the wind, as did his facemask.

Your mane started to change back to normal as your gi started to deteriorate. "You ok Mr. Rich?" He wasn't moving, but you noticed some tears coming down off the side of his face.

"It's nothing, Anon, just remembering some things from my own colthood" He said as he continued to look on. "Thanks, by the way, ya made this pony feel young again..." He didn't even bother to wipe his tears as he continued looking. "Y'know, I suppose that it would be fair if I returned the favor, and took you out to the highest class restaurant you ever did see."

Mr. Rich… He didn't have to do that. "O-oh no, it's fine Mr.Rich, you don't need to do that. I was just happy getting to hang out with you and all."

"Ah don't think so, Anon. I insist. I'm taking you out to a five star experience, one of the best you'll ever have. I ain't going home until you say yes. And just to let you know, we Riches are as stubborn as mules"

Given Diamond Tiara..you'd believe him. Probably best to accept his offer then and get it over with. "..Umm, I guess? In that case, yes. Sure, whatever you want, Mr. Rich"

"That's what I like to hear. Now, you wouldn't mind usin' that horn of yours to get us to Canterlot all pronto like, would you?"

Waste a charge on a teleport? Fuck, you'd just pay for a train ride. "Well, we could just take a train. Couldn't we?"

"Well, that'd be a good idea if that griffon down there didn't spot me. He looks mighty angry, I think he recognizes me." Filthy could see the pile of bits starting to fade.

Wut? "W-what do you mean by that? Didn't you pay him?"

"I did...but I guess he really wanted that pile too and-OH MERCY!"

The griffon flew up high, wings spread and talons bare. "STIFF ME, WILL YOU?! I'LL TEAR YOU BOTH TO SHREDS!"

You both gulp as you slap your horn on your head. "GREAT IDEA, MR. RICH! HERE WE GO!" And before the griffon came down, you both were whisked away in a light.

When you both appeared, you were in the middle of Canterlot, both your manes frazzled with fright in both your eyes. Mr. Rich and you immediately noticed others looking at you. Mr. Rich calms himself, plays it cool, slicks back his mane, and walks forward as he whispers to you, "Just act natural, Anon, the upper class will eat ya alive if they spot you a mess"

You didn't see too many upper class ponies about. And fuck, he recoiled quick from being nearly torn apart. Still, you followed his words anyway and tried to get that griffon out of your mind. Plus, you were impressed. Filthy was acting as if the whole adventure never happened. A pony of class indeed.

You both walked until you came upon a building that seemed to be made of pure platinum. It shimmered in the shine of the sun. It had wonderful windows of golden color and steps of ivory white that lead to twin ebony doors with golden trimmings. This place...was fancy. It even had a massive gem adorned on top of a spire on the roof.

"Woah..what is this place Mr. Rich?"

"The Platinum Crown. A step above gold they say. And the place we'll be eating at." Mr.Rich lead you inside as you looked around the lobby. Even inside, the ivory walls and platinum pillars shimmered like no tomorrow, the silky red waiting sofas looked like furniture for a fucking mansion, and the potted plants slowly changed color naturally. Amazing.

The line for waiting however, was very fast. Show a reservation ticket, go inside.Very efficient. The waiter letting ponies in was a monochrome colored earth pony. His eyes were grey, and his tux black. He didn't seem very jovial either. When Mr.Rich stepped up to him, he gave him a toothy grin and a hospitable greeting. "Hello Greyscale, working the counter again?"

"Hello monsieur, Rich. Unfortunately, yes" Grayscale said in a subtly frustrated french tone

Mr. Rich gave him a small bag of bits. Feeling generous, and also wanting to secure a seat. "Too bad. I feel for ya. You wouldn't mind seating me and my little friend here in the usual spot, would ya?"

But Greyscale pushed the bag away. "I'm terribly sorry, but we're full."

"Full? Hrnn, then I'm guessin' some real big money must be here today. Who is it? Hoity Toity? Fleur De lis?" Mr. Rich didn't seem too hurt that he couldn't get a seat. He didn't anticipate it of course, but he wasn't going to complain. He also seemed to want to be in the know of who was inside, you couldn't really figure out why, probably a rich pony thing.

"Princess Celestia herself! We're packed. The reservations that were made are from a month ago. There's no way we can get you in." Greyscale said. He seemed to have respect for Mr. Rich, and found it regrettable he couldn't seat him.

....Wait.......Celestia is in there? "Erm...Mr.Greyscale? Would you mind telling us what she's doing?"

"Hrm?" Greyscale looked like he was about to get snooty for a second. But that was probably because you still looked a little messy. He looks to you, with a stoic face, and spoke "Well, she's here entertaining a few dignitaries who have foals in her school. Though, it's odd. She has a young foal of her own, and it's not even her son. I'm not too clear about who he is, but he's caught the eye of a few of our patrons."

A foal?

Young?

...Wait.

....She brought the fucking changeling to a fucking restaurant?! Well fucking shit, Celestia, what are you doing?! Serving him "Love Souffle"?!

You had to get in there, you just had to. No matter how kind Thorax may be. He's a changeling, put him around that many ponies and he's bound to snap out of hunger. Mr. Rich looked like he was about to take you somewhere else too, you couldn't allow that.

"Wait, hold on. If Princess Celestia is here, then we can totally get a seat. I happen to know her personally"

"Really now? And who might you be?" Greyscale asked, he was in disbelief of your words.

You stand heroically, finally ready to put your title to good use. "The Hero Colt! Anon at your service" You bow, then flash your horn. "The necklace itself was given to me by Princess Celestia"

Greyscale called you over to give the necklace a look see. After a quick look, he could see it was of amazing quality. and the style screamed Celestia "Well, so it seems."

Mr. Rich knew you were friends with her. But could your title really secure a seat by her side? Well, that wasn't important to him in all actuality. All he wanted to do was just treat you to a good meal.Well, you're gonna have fucking both

"Do you really think you can get us a seat with the Princess, Anon?" Rich asked.

"I'm sure I can. But...we need to be allowed inside." You say

Mr. Rich looked over to Greyscale. "Discount on the next batch of Zap Apple Jam."

Greyscale said nothing at first. Then he stealthily kicked the velvet rope down and looked away. "Hrn, there seems to be a spot on that window there. It would be a shame if somepony tried to take advantage of this terrible distraction"

Based Rich.

You both enter the main dining room, and holy shit, the smell....was the most delicious smell you ever smelled. A cornucopia of the fanciest eats you ever did see. Well dressed and beautiful ponies pretentiously laughing about things. A huge diamond chandelier was above you, it spanned nearly the entire ceiling. A fountain was in the center, it was made of pure platinum. There was a classical band up on a stage. With ohh..There was Octavia. And…Well...damn, she looked hot. You'd fuck that horse.

"There she is, Anon, over there." Mr. Rich pointed to her.

Princess Celestia herself, with Thorax at her side, had about three other rich looking mares prattling on about a whole bunch of stupid shit. Celestia's smile though, it was kind of creepy. It was the same kind of false smile she had when she was speaking to Chrysalis in front of Twilight. Huh, was this kind of thing something she had to do often? Because you could see through that smile, it didn't seem like she was enjoying herself at all.

And then there was Thorax, in his "Crystal Hoof" form. He seemed nervous about being there. And yet he smiled, and waited patiently. Why was he even here? Friendship shit? With these vapid cunts? Though, and this was the important part, he seemed to be controlling himself just fine. He didn't seem to be feeding.

Then again, how could he in a place filled with superficial ponies?

Still, if he fucked this up, then everything would be made worse. And not just for Chrysalis. Discord too could suffer immensely if he gets found out.

You? No one would believe you had any real hand in it due to your "age", right?

Dammit Celestia. You think you're so smart, but you can't even fathom how dangerous a mistake this was. And you'd prove it to her. You could tell when your love was being drained, for sure. If Thorax fed on you then that means Celestia's plan was worthless. Meaning it could go back to being your plan again.

But...If it turned out everything was fine… Then how long left did you have until judgement day?

So you walk up to her and say "Hey, Princess Celestia" You bowed to her "How interesting to see you here this day, mind if we sit in?"

"Anon? Oh, Hello..erm" Celestia seemed taken aback by your sudden appearance. But naturally, she goes with the flow as the other ponies at the table looked upon her for her reaction. "How are you this day?"

You smirk at her "I'm doing just fine, Mr.Rich decided to treat me to a lunch and well, heh, who would have thought we'd run into each other like this? Weird, eh?"

But before Celestia could answer, an old unicorn looked upon you with heavy scrutiny. "Princess Celestia, who is this colt?"

But you speak before she could answer, yeah, you had this. "The hero colt, Anon. Pleased to meet you, er..."

"Mrs.Luster" She seemed to soften up just a little from hearing your words "I've heard of you and of your exploits. Considering you have the favor of all four of the princesses, it'd be an honor if you come and have a seat with us."

You looked at Celestia for just a moment. She didn't seem to pleased, but you didn't care. You also noticed a pony getting up from his seat after finishing his meal. "I'd love to...Oh, Mr.Rich, I see an empty seat over there, want me to bring it for you?"

Mr.Rich was just stunned you managed to get a seat with the princess so easily "Ahrm, no, son, no. I can stand. Why don't you go get it instead?"

"Right-o" You salute as you give a quick glare at Celestia. Yep, she didn't expect you at all. Haha!

However, when you went to get the seat, you noticed it was heavy as fuck. You had to push it all the way to the table. "Hold..on....almost.....almost.....hold on...hold on...just a little heavy....hold on....hold on.....hold on....ok..ok..there we go! Got it!"

When you got the seat placed, you hopped onto it with a sweet smile on your face. But everyone was just staring silently at you. Mr. Rich even put his hoof to his face and shook it. Celestia was looking away. Thorax looked a wreck, like his sensitive ears popped or something.
The hell happened in the minute you were gone? Someone tell a bad joke?

"Well..that was...certainly something" The unicorn chuckled nervously before clearing her throat and looking towards Celestia. "In anycase, Princess Celestia, about the potions class professor. We believe some of the potions he teaches the students to brew may be...a tad dangerous."

"I can assure you, Mrs. Luster, Professor Concoction knows exactly what he is doing. He has been for the ten years he's been with us. He's never caused an accident, nor allowed one. I assure you your son is safe." Celestia reassured her.

Mrs.Luster didn't really answer, she just muttered to herself as she pondered.

You could see Mr. Rich looking through the menu and waiting for his turn to speak. Once he had a chance, he looked to you with a smile. "Ahh, here we are! Anon, I'm going to order us the most expensive meals here. If only because they’re also the best. Can't get you any of the drinks in here, though. Adults only n' all"

You nod with a sweet smile. "That's alright, Mr. Rich. Oh...Princess Celestia, can I ask you something?"

Celestia looked to you and nodded. "Yes? what is it, Anon?"

"Welllll, I noticed you brought Crystal Hoof with you. What's the occasion?"

"Oh! Can I answer that, Princess Celestia?" Thorax looked to her with a smile.

Celestia gave you a stare of suspicion before going back to a gentle smile. "Of course you can. Crystal Hoof"

Thorax seemed pretty excited to say what he had to say. "I asked! It was very kind for the princesses to take me in. And well, Princess Celestia always seems to have a tough day, the same way Princess Luna always seems to have a tough night. So I wanted to come with Princess Celestia during the day to show my support. And later, I'll be there for Princess Luna! It's um...the least I can do. I know it isn't much. But I want to try, at least"

Huh, how curious. Why would he decide to do that all of a sudden? You needed more information.

"What a respectable little fellow. With that kind of dedication, one could mistake him for your son, Princess Celestia. I must say, it was very kind of you to take in an orphaned crystal pony. The times with King Sombra must have been dreadful" Mrs. Uppity, another one of the ponies at the table, said as she noticed a waiter finally coming to the table.

The way ,Melancholy, yet another old crone at the table, scoffed as he approached meant they must have been waiting awhile. Or they were just snooty. "My my, quite the coincidence. A colt taken in by a princess that well represents harmony, and of course, our hero colt being taken in by the master of chaos. It's like destiny. And considering you know the princess pretty well, Anon, I'd wager my right hoof that you and Crystal Hoof must be the best of friends"

"Well, I'd like to think we're friends. So yes!" Thorax nodded in agreement. "We're friends!"

Ugh, the things you had to agree to."Oh yeah, we're pretty good buddies"

Celestia gave you another look, knowing you were fibbing pretty bad.

When the orders were made, discussion went along as normal. You became more of an observer over anything else as Celestia continued to talk to her guests with some mentions of you and your adventures since the mares seemed interested in your escapades. Mr. Rich engaged in some discussion of his own, or more rather, a little advertising and swinging his big corporate dick around a little bit. But he was being polite about it, no hint of smug. He was also telling you how excited you must be for all the food he ordered for you and him. You sort of just nodded to him while eyeing Thorax. He seemed happy, he was responding in small words when asked a question, but he was mostly sitting there with a smile on his face.

You didn't feel any different from before. But he seemed pretty focused. You didn't think he'd feed on purpose at this point, but he still had to feed. But it didn't even seem like he was taking nibbles even. or maybe he was too nervous since you were there. Fuck, your thought process was a mess.

After some time, food was finally served. Everyone, including yourself, got some pretty fancy meals. You didn't know what it was, but it looked pretty ok.

You noticed Thorax was eating like a proper pony should. Huh… The fact he was eating it at all was rather odd.

"Ahrm, Mr. Anon, you know, Since we're all here. Why don't you all tell us how ya managed to save that other Equestria? Ah betcha it'd make a rousing lunch story." Mr. Rich asked. He felt it would be the perfect time to hear it. Also, he just really wanted to hear the whole thing for himself and this would be the perfect time to listen in.

The mares seemed to agree. They too wanted to hear the tale. But you weren't too interested in telling any variation in the story at all. "Erm, I dunno, Mr. Rich. There is a lot on my plate right now. Not that I don't appreciate your hospitality or anything. but, ya know, I'm just tired and a little too hungry to tell it."

Mr. Rich's ears drooped a little in disappointment. "Ahh, no no, you're right. Ah understand. Besides, ya have done enough already. Wouldn't be right to ask you for more than that."

Well, he understood. that's good. The mares looked pretty disappointed too, but what could you do? You had to make sure everything would be alright. You couldn't lose your focus on Thorax due to telling a story.

"....Anon, is there a reason you keep looking at Crystal Hoof like that?" Celestia...she may have caught on as to what you were doing however.

"Oh, uh. I was just looking at his food. It looks pretty good"

Thorax pushes his plate gently to you "Do you want some? I wouldn't mind trading for some of yours...unless you're really hungry...then you can just take a little, if you want"

Fuck...You didn't expect him to actually offer some food. That's...even nicer than what you'd expect from any changeling, even Scrappy, "Oh, umm..sure! I'll..trade you this for that."

That was the best you could do to make it look convincing, was trading some random food.

After taking some of his food, you immediately eat it, chew, and swallow....it was pretty damn good. "Mmmm! That was great!"

"I know, all the food here is very very good. Thank you, Princess Celestia, you're really really kind." Thorax said with a giddy smile

Celestia gave Thorax a gentle smile and gave him a pat on the head. "It's no trouble at all, little one. Think of it as a reward for all the progress you have made." Celestia then gave you a dark glare. "It's more than I can say for some who truly do not wish to understand the magic of friendship"

Fuck, she wasn't buying it. She must have really figured out what you were up to. You tried to focus on your meal the best you could, trying to act as if you really had nothing more to say.

"How's the food? Mr. Anon. It's some of the best food money can buy. So I can only imagine how satisfied you are" Mr. Rich, he wanted to make sure everything was to your liking to match what you had done for him.

"O-oh umm..it's ok" You say, not really paying attention as you try to act innocent.

"Oh...well, erm..I suppose 'ok' is alright. As long as ya like it..." Mr. Rich was tapping on the table, looking down at the ground gloomily.

Dammit. What was going on? You could swear on the damned bible that something was going to happen. But nothing was happening. And nothing did happen as the conversations continue. Mr. Rich seemed to be in a less than chipper mood now. Hrn, interesting...was that Thorax's doing?

"So, Crystal Hoof, buddy, pal. How you feeling right now?" You ask him

"Oh um. The same! Happy to be here. Why?" Thorax asked as he tilted his head, wondering why you asked the question. He did seem like he was having a good time throughout.

Damn, how could you get him to spill the beans without spilling the beans? You had to try to steer the conversation into something that would be more telling."Oh, just thought I'd ask. Because if you felt uncomfortable, I just wanted to tell you not to worry about it. Because it's going to be fine"

"Gee, thanks Anon. I already feel fine. But I'll keep that in mind, just in case!" Thorax says with no hint of falsehood or maliciousness in his voice. Damn, you needed to think of something else.

But you wouldn't get the chance. Princess Celestia stood up, and made an announcement to the table. "Pardon me, I know it is unlike me to walk off in the middle of lunch. But I promise it will only be for a moment. I just wish to have a word with our brave hero colt."

She wanted to speak to you alone? Shit, that wasn't part of your plan. You just wanted to scope out everything so it'd be ok. Not actually chat with her one on one during the actual lunch.

And as you looked to Mr. Rich, Thorax, and the three old mares. You knew this was something you couldn't just refuse without seeming rude. "Oh, sure! of course! It'll be my honor, Princess Celestia!"

"Then please, follow me outside so we may speak." Celestia lead you back out through the front of the restaurant just outside it's steps.

"Ummm....So uhh...what is it?" You noticed her horn starting to glow. She wasn't responding to your question, which only made your heart sink into more worry. "P-princess Celestia?...you're not going to zap me with magic..are you?"

"No, Anon, I'm merely casting a listening spell. It will make it appear to other ponies that we are talking about something else. Because what we're going to talk about is your abhorrent behavior and distrust"

Abhorrent?! The fuck? No no no, you weren't going to take that. You were just making sure nothing was going to go wrong. "Huh? Woah, that's a pretty heavy accusation Celestia. I didn't do anything 'abhorrent'. as for the distrust thing? No, not really. I know Thorax is a good guy, but a changeling has got to eat. You don't think it was reckless letting him out into the public like this?"

Celestia just raised an eyebrow at you. "And letting HER out was any better?"

You nearly faltered at that one, but you pointed your hoof at her with a smirk. "Aha! But she's cursed to stay in a single form."

"And yet she can still feast on ponies however she wishes. The ponies I swore to protect, the ponies you are letting being drained through her presence"

You raise your hoof again, but then you realize that Celestia was right on that one. "Well...yeah, but. Y'know. She can't really hurt anypony...." Shit....How the fuck did you walk into that one? "S-still, me and Chrysalis are getting closer everyday. I mean, yeah, I've accepted the inevitable and all. But I still have to make sure nothing is going to go wrong. That includes on your side too. If Thorax gives in to temptation, Chrysalis can exploit that. And if that happens? You, Discord, Fluttershy, me, Luna, and Twilight. We could all be in pretty dire straits after that"

"Really?" Celestia didn't seem to be taking you too seriously "Temptation you say? Please elaborate, you have been around changelings much longer than I have. So explain to me what EXACTLY is the problem."

"Well...the problem, as I explained, is Thorax giving into temptation. I know Chrysalis will be away while he reforms the changelings. But all it'll take is one slip up from him to ruin everything. And should a changeling go back to Chrysalis due to that, she'll manipulate things to go back to the way it was. And she'll also know Thorax is alive. And then everything will just blow up all around us, figuratively of course. Bringing Thorax to a public place could undo everything you and Luna have been trying to do for him. I think it's too early. I mean, look at Scrappy. He loves Applebloom and the others to death and he still feeds. So yeah, my theory holds prettttttty good water I think."

But Celestia just speaks in a sarcastic tone to you, disrespecting your theory. "And I'm sure that's exactly what your reasoning would be if you were fully telling the truth. I do have something to say about Thorax, but let me tell you what I think about that first. And it comes down to a very simple fact. No matter what you tell yourself, you are obsessed with maintaining your friendships and protecting those you care about. Which is admirable, it’s through that that you managed to defeat and reform Starlight Glimmer. You would obsess over her welfare and safety until you were sure she would be alright. That same obsession is what drives you to do what you are doing with Queen Chrysalis. The difference is that she is, and still proves to be, a monster and a blight to pony kind. And, as it seems, even her own children. Your obsession has blinded you, Anon. You should be focusing on the friends who truly care about you, and not on her. You should be helping your friends, like Filthy Rich for example"

Huh, what did she mean by that? Mentioning him directly like that...it was odd. And your obsession? It wasn't that bad! You were just doing for Chrysalis what you did for Starlight. And what did she mean on that whole children thing? "Woah woah, backtrack to the children thing. What do you mean a 'blight'? What gives you that idea?"

"I'll answer that question, Anon. But first, I'd like you to answer one of mine. Do you believe that a changeling needs to feed on others love to survive?"

What kind..of question..was that?! DUHHHHHH, of course they needed to feast on love. That's their entire shtick. "Yes, now answer my question please"

"Hold on, I have one more." Celestia's stare became more focused, more serious, as if this was one of the most important questions she ever asked. "You believe they need to feast on love to survive. But tell me, Anon. Regarding their food source, haven't you noticed anything off about Scrappy? Do you even know anything about Thorax's progress?"

Thorax's progress? On what..being nice? Because you didn't know what that had to do with their food source. But Scrappy? "Well, admittingly, Scrappy does eat a lot less than the other changelings. But I don't see what that has to do with anything. For all we know, all that fasting from food can cause them to engorge themselves later. So I don't see the point in bringing it up"

"Just as I expected. Anon, I sent a letter today. Had you just been patient, you would have known that last night Thorax had finished the odd metamorphosis that was happening to his wings."

"Metawhat now? His wings? What does that have to do with anything?" No seriously, why even bring it up?

"Anon. Thorax hasn't needed to feed since then. He doesn't need to sustain himself on love anymore. His wings, they became beautiful and elegant just as he was learning what love and friendship truly meant. In fact, I think he reached this state because he understands love and friendship the same way a pony does. He only needs to feed on normal food now from time to time as he himself produces the love he needs to survive. Furthermore, perhaps had you waited, you would have seen in that letter that I wanted to talk to you personally about a change in plans."

...His wings? He doesn't need to feed? And a change in plans? "W-wait..." No..fucking. Did that mean? You were dead wrong? Thorax doesn't even need to eat love anymore? How how does that even work!? Chrysalis would have surely known about that kind of shit if that's the truth. And yet, this was Celestia. She wouldn't lie to you to get the better of you. Holy fuck..she was serious. "..I...er"

"Hold yourself, Anon.." Celestia noticed you were faltering now. She could see that you didn't nor even could have seen something such as that happening. But she had hoped you had at least pondered on it, given what you were told before. "I can see now that you are realizing your mistake. But I cannot let you off so easily. Because I can tell you still don't understand. Simply put, we had tried to accommodate you when it came to Queen Chrysalis. We had given you chances, given you leeway, and even tried to make the end result of this plan benefit you in some way. And yet you still act selfishly. Anon, there are others who care about you deeply. And you ignore them, or cast them aside for your foolish whims."

Celestia looks towards the doors, as if she was looking straight at Thorax, with sorrow in her eyes. "And it is those whims that have changed Thorax's mind about reforming his siblings. He still wishes to reform them, yes. But he also wishes to face his former queen at the same time. Anon, he wants to try to reform her as well, just for your benefit. He believes you are one of his good friends, and thats why he's willing to go so far for you. He is loving and kind, Anon. He wishes to better himself and fix the reputation his kind has. And so holds on to friendships very dearly. And yet you? You don't really care about him at all...do you?"

...Oh fuck… He was going to try and face Chrysalis as well? For you? He was doing it for you? So there really was no issue. And he isn't a threat. In fact, now you knew that. perhaps. all the changelings could change their wings and appetite like he did.

The worst part was Celestia was right. You didn't care about him too much. But, it seemed he cared about you. "I er...ummm.."

"And then there is Mr. Rich, who seemed to have wanted to treat you to a good meal, a meal which you squandered through your distrust. Had your motive been to simply comply with him, I would not have personally minded you eating with us at our table. But you cast his feelings aside just to try to prove something to me. Tell me, Anon, knowing what you know now, was it worth it?" Celestia looked back at you like a mother lecturing her son. Something you couldn't fight back against.

How could you have fucked up that hard? You couldn't counter anything.

"......." You hung your head low. You felt god awful. Thorax, through his interactions with the princesses, had become something else. He was the end result of a reformation. Something that you still haven't been able to achieve with Chrysalis.

And then there was Mr. Rich. He just wanted to pay you back. He just wanted to make you happy, and you just threw it away.

And now you understood your obsession. Chrysalis was never going to change… It was a wasted effort. Even if the others change, she won't. Your quest was doomed from the start. "...When is it happening?"

"Within the week, Anon. I still need to speak with Discord. Which, should he read the letter I also sent him yesterday, will be soon."

Within the week...

Celestia gently put her hoof on your shoulder, making you flinch, and look up at her with sad eyes. You were so conflicted with how you were going to handle all this. But you still fucked up. She really was right...

Really, there was no future for this friendship. And you felt foolish for it. All your other friends, you were throwing them aside for someone who saw you as a commodity rather than a friend.

"I'm sorry, Anon, but now you must understand why it must be this way. A real hero knows what's important. Saving those who are a prisoner to their own lust for food and power, stopping one who wishes to cause ruination to all, and bringing harmony to those who need it. So much is at stake, Anon. A hero knows when to make sacrifices."

You cringe from the thought. But she was right, there was no other way. "I know..."

"Anon, some things simply must be. I know it hurts, but you ignored the risks. And there's nothing anypony can do about the consequences. My advice to you is to focus on the friends who truly care about you. Help them, and let them help you. When Chrysalis is gone, if Thorax cannot reform her. Then you must accept that that will be it. She is a criminal, a monster, caring for nopony but herself. I simply cannot let that go unchecked as she continues to exploit you and Discord to extend her reach. I understand it will be difficult, but you will have the support of your friends to help you through it." Celestia brought you close for a hug. She didn't hate you, but she wanted you to stop your shenanigans. It was unhealthy, and ludicrous.

Within your depression, you realized more and more how hurt your friends must be seeing you focus on her. Scootaloo suffered trying to help you, Starlight tried to warn you, Thorax wants to give it a go for you. And you disregarded it all for Chrysalis.

Mr. Rich… "Princess, can I go back inside please? I don't want Mr. Rich to feel like what he did isn't appreciated..."

Celestia nodded. And you? Without anyway to validate your own situation, you fully gave in to the truth. You'd have to stay away from Chrysalis from now on. Not like she'd really notice anyway....right?

You just turned and walked inside with your head held down. Celestia didn't follow at first, she pondered instead. She knew she made the right choice. The needs of the many, in this case, outweighed the needs of the few. She just never thought that Chrysalis would be capable of friendship at all.

Maybe Thorax could do it, maybe he couldn't. If Chrysalis cared about you that much, then she too...should understand sacrifice.

You approached the table, summoning up a smile as you take your place on your seat. Celestia coming in just as you sit down.

"I don't suppose that was all private, correct?" Mrs. Uppity asked

Celestia nodded as she took her seat "I apologize, but it is. It's nothing to worry about however" Celestia let's out a gentle giggle "In the grand scheme of things, it's just uninteresting business."

"Indeed..." Mrs. Meloncholy mumbled boredly. She didn't seem too interested if it was uninteresting.

"Oh um, Mr. Rich. Let me just say that I apologize for seeming rude. I was just overwhelmed by everything. I thought I could handle it but..." You chuckle nervously. "Well, you can say I feel like I'm being judged by everypony."

At first, Mr. Rich just stared. Then he let out a chuckle, a chuckle that signified that all that horrid feeling he was feeling was washing off as everything became "clear" to him. "Well, that ain't too far from the truth, Anon. But I knew something had to be wrong with you actin' all off like that. Especially after the day we had. So I'm going to guess you really did enjoy that food, right? Because I ordered dessert. No need to thank me, I just got the impression that maybe it'd cheer you up."

Dammit… You didn't mean… No, Celestia was right. "Oh Boy! Dessert! Now you're talkin'! Thanks Mr. Rich! You're the best!" A little forced, but you truly felt thankful.

Mr. Rich grinned big, he enjoyed your zeal and words.

"So then, I don't suppose you'd be willing to tell your story now. I want to hear what the Hero Colt is actually capable of. Since the Princess assures us it's the truth" It seemed Melancholy really was interested to hear this wacky tale. You didn't think or even consider why she'd be interested. You just agreed to tell it as to not be a party pooper this time. Of course, with a few personal edits.

During dessert, you told your tale with vigor and energy. Leaving out Chrysalis and everything with "Mr. Audit", of course. You spun your web of action and magic as everyone stared upon you in awe as they slowly ate. When you got to the part where you beat up the robot however, you accidentally smashed your hooves into your dessert in excitement to represent your punching. it got cream all over your legs, table, and on Princess Celestia's face, making everyone on the table gasp.

Celestia merely smiled and licked her tongue along her muzzle, took in the cream, and giggled. "My my, sounds like you had a 'delicious' victory, Anon." She was really good at acting like nothing happened. Keeping herself from showing any notion other than pure enjoyment for your story.

"A-and that's pretty much it...erm..I'm sorry Princess Celestia." You look down at your battered dessert and poke at it. "I got a little too into it."

"You don't need to fret, Anon. Considering how perilous your adventure was, it's only natural to get so excited when talking about it. Reminds me when my sister and I faced down King Sombra all that time ago. Of course, everypony knows that tale by now." Celestia said with a gentle grin as she finished her own tasty delicious little cake.

"Oh..Yeah.." You slowly began to eat your battered dessert when something came to mind. "...umm, refresh my memory on that. There wasn't a 'Radiant Hope' anywhere, right? Ya know, In facing off with King Sombra?"

"Who?" Celestia had no idea who you were talking about.

Thank Christ. "Oh erm...nothing. Oh and, I'm sorry about the dessert, Mr. Rich, it's super tasty though!"

"It's no trouble, Anon, but I could order you another one if ya want." Mr. Rich said with a quiet chuckle. He thought it was cute you were still eating it. It did his heart good to see such innocence in a young colt. Made him feel even better about you marrying his daughter after being so strung up about it.

"No no, it's fine. I don't think they could whip up anything better than what I have right now. I've never had this before." You just start digging in, taking huge bites. It was pretty fantastic. "Mmm! Mmm! Really good!"

Thorax calmly ate his dessert. He didn't really have too much to say,conversation wise. He then looked to Celestia with a cheery smile. "Princess Celestia, can I ask you a question?"

Celestia looked to Thorax with a motherly smile. "Yes, Crystal Hoof?"

"Do you think, perhaps tomorrow, we can go to the school again so I may read another story to the students? I thought it was fun...erm..and I don't want to seem too much of a bother, but they did look happy and-"

Celestia put a hoof gently on his shoulder and nodded. "Of course, I too saw how happy they were to be read a story. Your puppet act really added on to the reading as well. So yes, of course. Just be sure to let either me or my sister know when you’re leaving so we can plan accordingly."

Thorax nodded. "Thank you, Princess Celestia." Just like that, she trusted him to go do a reading to a bunch of foals on his own.

Dammit Anon, how badly did you fuck up on this whole reformation thing?

After dessert was over. You and Mr. Rich said your goodbyes. Thorax however, couldn't leave without giving you a hug. He whispered in your ears. "Thanks for finding me, Anon. You, Princess Luna, and Scrappy. You're all really good friends. And I promise I'll do my best to repay you"

You gulped, and just whispered back. "Y-yeah..erm..you’re welcome"

Thorax, he was obviously talking about reforming Chrysalis. He really had no ill will towards you. You wonder if that'd still be the case if he knew what you thought of him before. Or maybe..he did. Changelings can sense feelings. He may have already known back at the meeting, but didn't say anything about it. Maybe, when you can speak to him more privately, you should talk to him about that. Maybe you should respect Scrappy a little more too.

A lot more.

Dammit….

You and Mr. Rich take a train back to Ponyville. Without a charge in your horn, teleportation was impossible. And fuck using the map. If he got even one look at any of the changelings who might or might not be in your room, you'd be done.

Mr. Rich was once again thankful for what you did for him. He also asked you a few fatherly questions. He asked if the food really was that good, if it caused you to have any stomach aches, and to not tell ANYONE about the adventure. He then went on with a few tales of his own about his business. And of course, he asked about what you and Celestia talked about.

You made sure to listen to every word he said and answer accordingly. But you couldn't tell him what you talked to Celestia about. You politely told him that it had to be a secret. Which thankfully, he understood.

The train ride wasn't too long, but it was already late afternoon. When you both stepped off the train, you both decided to see Mrs. Muffin Top at her classroom to see when exactly the swap ended.

When you both arrived, Mrs. Muffin Top was already packing things up and getting ready to go. "Oh, hello you two." Mrs.Muffin Top said with a cheerful smile when she saw you two come in.

"Good evenin', Mrs.Muffin Top. I see you're packin'. Ah can only assume class is over." Mr. Rich said.

"It is indeed, dont'cha know. Your wife was wondering where you went by the way." Mrs. Muffin Top giggled. "She had her maids look all around town looking for the both of you after everypony swapped back. Even after I told her that you two were probably out having a father and son experience. Speaking of, did you two go fishing? Or something else?"

"Somethin' like that. Let's just say we caught us two real big whoppers. Anon, he's an amazin' little go getter and the most honest pony ya ever saw. Twas an honor to be his father for a day" Mr. Rich said as he rubbed his hoof gently on your head.

...Dammit. Just get through this Anon… "Yep! And Mr. Rich is super cool too! I finally got to see inside his shop for the first time. It was so cozy I didn't want to leave!"

Mrs. Muffin Top couldn't help but smile hearing that as she closed up her saddle bags. "And that's what I like to hear. It really does look like I didn't need to come here at all. Everypony passed....well, by varying degrees, but still. Much better than any of my other classes, dont'cha know. You two aren't even related and yet I can tell from looking at your face, Mr. Rich, that you already see him as your son. I suppose given your daughter's reaction, that it shouldn't be a surprise. But Anon..." She noticed something...sad..about you. "Is there something wrong? You can tell little old Muffin Top, don'tcha know." Mrs.Muffin Top, Dammit...you forgot she could see through acts.

"Anon, is there somethin' wrong, son?" Mr. Rich looked to you with worry.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Think of a good lie! Dammit! It wouldn't work...unless..there was some truth to it? "Oh...I..yeah. I guess there's something. I guess I was just worried that somewhere, I made a mistake during this whole thing" That was vague enough to work..right?

"Oh, Ah get it." Mr. Rich was the first to respond, thinking he understood what was going on.

Mr. Rich explained when you both met up with Celestia. His version of your explanation was that you probably just felt you may have not seemed worthy enough to be in her and her guests' company. Which Mr. Rich then assured you that you did perfectly fine. Something you pretended to be reluctant to agree with to throw Muffin Top off the trail. And thankfully, it seemed to work.

She didn't even seem to be suspicious of Chrysalis, who no doubt, wanting this to be over, did her thing to fool her with honest dishonesty as well. Muffin Top then said her goodbyes. Extremely thankful that she got to experience the breath of fresh air that was Ponyville. Mentioning that she'd probably have a family gathering here one day.

And with the fact that Spoiled had sent maids to find the both of you. Mr. Rich said his goodbyes quickly, realizing he needed to get home or else there may be trouble. He didn't leave without giving you a hug however. And once again thanking you for the "trip". In which you thanked him back for the meal.

And with no one realizing you were back. You felt it'd probably be good to give Fluttershy a visit. Let her know you were ok and that nothing bad happened. You didn't want her to be worried.

Then you had to get back home...and ask if there was a letter.

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