• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,516 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 47

You look left and right, getting your bearings.

"Ok… first thing's first. I gotta go get Diamond Tiara… Because I don't know where Silver Spoon lives." You pull out your map and give it a look. "Let's see… her house isn't marked. But I remember it being in this direction. All I gotta do is get in this general area and I should be able to figure it out"

You close the map and put it in your saddle bag. You look behind you to close the door. But it had already vanished.

"...Right… temporary door. Probably to make sure nobody else uses it." You look around, a few ponies seem to be staring at you awkwardly. "...Gotta stop talking to myself out loud… uhh..."

You just dash off without saying another word. The ponies that were around you just shrugging and going on with their day.

It takes a while, as you get lost once or twice, but you manage to to find the correct road and head straight to DT's house.

As you get closer, you look at yourself. You brush off your chest and lick your hoof and try slicking back your mane. It doesn't really work, you use your hoof to feel your mane and get a general idea of how it looks. "Eh...good enough..I think..." Or maybe it wasn't? "I need a mirror so badly right now..."

You rush up to the door, you were a little anxious. You just had to get DT and SS together and talk to them. shouldn't be too hard. No matter who answered the door, you were pretty much welcome here now, and you were a hero. A definite plus.

You take a breath. and knock on the door. You wait.

The door opens. But who is behind it is not DT, nor Filthy Rich, not even a maid...it was...some oldish looking purple maned pony with a haggish nose… who the fuck? Probably some background pony you missed.

"Umm...Hi..is Diamond Tiara here right now?" It was early, she had to be home.

But… even then. This pony said nothing. She looked down at you, with judging eyes. What was with her? "Anon...I presume?"

...oh shit..she knows you somehow… well wait duh. Of course she would. Word was spreading after all.

You give her a cute childlike smile. "Yup! Hello miss… ummm"

But she didn't react to your whimsical words or your smile. In fact, it seemed to make her look more… snooty... and even sinister.

"Hmph… save it. What business does somepony like you have with my daughter?"

Wait… DAUGHTER?! No… This couldn't be… No way...

You quickly cataloged in your mind every pony you could think of. From Golden Delicious to Harshwinny… nope… no Filthy Rich wife.

Whoever she was. She didn't look pleased that you were there. The vibes you got from her were vibes you didn't even sense from Diamond Tiara...it was dark.

"Umm… Well, I just wanted to talk to her Miss Rich ma'am."

"...ahhh, it wouldn't be about the relations with her best friend...would it?"

Ok...that was....very creepy. Her face was unchanging too, she was just… eyeing you with a look of disapproval.

"Y-yeah… but, how did you know about that?"

"It's not so hard to find out when the poor little dear comes knocking at the door in the very early morning begging for my precious daughter's friendship back. Of course, hearing how it happened. I couldn't help but intervene and make sure their friendship was mended."

Goddamn it Silver Spoon… no fucking self control. Still… that was mighty convenient, and actually cool of this scary looking mare…

Still, you had to talk to DT about her feelings for you. "So...is Diamond Tiara home then?"

She shook her head, but her eyes… they never stopped looking down on you. "She's at school, somewhere you should be. But of course, a delinquent urchin like yourself wouldn't be there. No, you'd instead come here. Trying to further your insidious little plot."

What… what did she? Where the fuck did that come from? You were caught off guard. "U-umm, what?"

She stepped closer to you, her presence. This wasn't like Diamond Tiara or Discord. You could sense actual full hatred. You've never seen someone look down on you like this before...not even on the show have you seen this come from a pony.

"Don't play innocent with me. Do you honestly believe that some markless, unwanted, little thug would be adopted by Equestria's most heinous degenerate simply to be "Father and Son". And then… by chance… meet my daughter and share a punishment engineered by said degenerate. Who most likely… somehow… coaxed my husband into it. And then… oh so conveniently… beat down some lowly foalnappers… who just appeared from seemingly nowhere to kidnap my daughter? Tell me Anon, should I continue? Or have you realized how obvious you and your father's little plot is?"

No… you knew what she was getting at. And she was… mostly kind of wrong. She was obviously thinking you were trying to get a piece of the pie. When you were just looking for a way out of an initial fuck up you made.

"Look, I don't know what you think. But whatever it is. You're wrong."

She she snorts her nose at you. "Oh really? The fact that my daughter is even infatuated with you was enough for me to realize what was truly going on. But you see Anon, I'm her mother… and you are gutter trash. And your title of "Little hero" is a laughable farce. All I had to do was nip that infatuation in the bud and that was that. You and your father's plan has failed. So whatever you planned to do here, it's over."

...That was exactly what you were trying to do. But you couldn't celebrate… this bitch. Holy shit, no sense of kindness in her.

You were starting to lose your patience, and you looked her directly in the eye. "Look, I know what you're getting at. And I promise you, I really promise. I was just trying to get your daughter not to be "infatuated" with me anymore and to get her to be friends with Silver Spoon again. So, can we just take a step back. Smile, and uhh...try greeting eachother again?"

She stopped for a moment. ok..good progress... But her face, it doesn't stop it's look of utter disgust. "So you say. Alright, I'm actually a very understanding mare..."

Ok… Sorta good… So why did she look so disgusted with you still. "Let's assume what you say IS true. That would mean despite being a hero. You are still a foul tongued little beast who simply got lucky. And in your luck, you caused two fillies with an actual future to lose their friendship due to your careless actions. Furthermore, you seem to think you can do whatever you wish. I had to come all the way from Manehatten to fix the series of mistakes you caused. And what do you do? You just come here, thinking you can just talk to my daughter and destroy her heart. And do you know what I find most vile about this "Truth"?"

You were afraid to answer. the hell… The fucking hell?!

She moved her head closer to yours, and made sure your eyes were locked to hers before she spoke. "That my Diamond Tiara would even associate with vermin like you. You are nothing but a blank flank that nopony wanted. Filth picked up by one who surrounds himself in it. And your sense of etiquette is so nonexistent that you let this chain of events happen without thinking once that there could be consequences. As expected from a blank flank thug."

You were silent… not because there was a possibility that she was right. But… holy shit. She was the opposite of Filthy Rich and was just Diamond Tiara turned up to eleven.

She lifted her head and took a breath, her eyes never leaving yours "Now then, I am not unreasonable. You are still a child after all. I am willing to overlook your careless errors on one condition..."

You had to shake your head. Who the FUCK did she think she was?! You wanted to deck her so goddamn hard. How the fuck dare she. But… No… No no… you couldn't. But… why?! Discord was pretty damn powerful. If he had just fucking fixed it or something. or not go so roundabout in his execution. This wouldn't have happened. Or hell, just snap his talons and make this bitch shut her fucking trap. But… he made it clear that your mistakes would be on you. And he worked so hard… sorta… on getting himself a better reputation for the sake of Fluttershy. Ogh… you couldn't smack this bitch. No matter how hard you wanted to. But… the fuck? She seemingly just poofs out of nowhere and is just the worst fucking pony ever.

You sigh deeply, letting your anger leave you as much as possible. And just ask. "What?"

"You will NEVER go near my daughter, my husband, or this home again. The same with your disgusting father. Because If I ever find out that you made any kind of contact. I will make sure you don't even know the MEANING of the word "parent". Trust me Anon, having your papers be re-reviewed is very easy for an upstanding pony such as myself "

Christ… Well… you didn't really, sort of plan to. But, that was just. How could Filthy have married this chick? No wonder Diamond Tiara was an asshole. "Fine, I can do with that..."

You wanted to finish with "and to hell with your fucking shitty ass family"...but you held your tongue. One to avoid her taking action, another because the only good one in the whole family was ironically the guy making the most fucking money.

"Good, now turn around and leave… I've already wasted too much time on you as is."

...This bitch. How could she even live up to that threat? Your dad was fucking Discord. And Twilight herself reviewed the papers and even became the "social worker". There's no way she could live up to it. But if your saturday morning senses have taught you anything. Background people were stupid and would raise their torches and pitchforks at anything a bitch like this put to the table. Otherwise, this would be the only real pony you could think of that you'd give zero shits dying.

And because of that. you played nice. But your blood was boiling. You felt, if she added Fluttershy to the mix, that the gloves would have come off. And you would have destroyed her there and then.

...you didn't want to say anything more. You simply nod. But you make sure to give her the nastiest look you could, to let her know you didn't approve. But she just smiled back at you. Her first smile, just of her triumph.

...Bitch... if it wasn't for the fact that she had a significant hold on others opinions… or the fact that you think she has… you really would just consider slamming her shit in for that crap. She turns and looks back at you, waiting for you to leave the premises. Getting the hint, you step away, and leave. Anger bubbling inside of you.

You wander off in an aimless direction. Silently cursing whoever that was. You didn't even get her name. The bitch wasn't even courteous enough to give a goddamn name.

"...bitch… cunt… faggot… how dare she? I'm fucking ten times the fucking pony she is. Fuck, I'm not even originally a pony and I can outsmart any of these guys… I have saturday morning smarts dammit… and yet I couldn't fucking outtalk that smug bitch… ugh, I feel like a cuck..."

You frown, holy shit. You were now really down. You find a silent and secluded spot to sit. and raise your right hoof and look at it.

"...and even with all my smarts I couldn't win that confrontation… Because I'm a kid here. Christ, is this how spongebob felt in the movie?" You lay back against the wall. "Whatever, it's fine...." It wasn't. "Diamond Tiara is out of my hair, and I'm free to do whatever I want… That's a plus… So why do I still feel like shit? It's not as if that meeting should have meant anything to me… she just basically did my job for me..."

But you knew why. She slammed your shit in verbally. And, you even felt it for Discord. She didn't hold back for him, or even you despite your new form. If that came from Chrysalis or Tirek, you probably wouldn't have cared at all, they were just villains after all. But this bitch just popped out of nowhere, and being a Rich. She could possibly go through with her threat and ruin everything...

You slumped forward, looking down. "...What a cruddy day..." You didn't even feel like doing much else. Who knows what the Mane 6 are up to?... Probably busy...

...Maybe you could hang out with Lyra and Bon Bon again? They didn't seem so bad. You kind of wanted to try to hang with Ponk or even Fluttershy. But you didn't want to worry Fluttershy. And you didn't want Ponk to know you were sad just because she might make it into a bigger thing. You just wanted this to be contained.

You pull out your map, and point your hoof towards the location of where you first met them. That was Bon Bon's house. Yeah, they'd probably wonder why you aren't at school. But eh, easily explainable. Since you weren't going quite yet.

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