• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,515 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 46

The next morning, you slowly wake up with a yawn. Oddly enough, you felt really good this… wait


You lay upwards, eyes widened. You immediately realized you fell asleep downstairs. You look around and see you were out of the statue garden and back in your room. "The hell happened?"


You try to think of everything that happened. You saw creepy statue garden. Discord was making statues. Made a few of you even, heartwarming moment… then… nothing. The last thing you could remember was reaching to give him a hoofshake.


"....weird...why can't I remember? I don't just lose track of memories like that..." But you couldn't remember. The gigantic shock from Discord's magic joy buzzer was too overwhelming, and being magically knocked out made sure you'd never be able to remember. But you were still curious.


"...Did he knock me out? Hrn... Well… at least he put me in my room, still… geez, what did he do and… huh?"


You notice a new door, right next to your bed. It was a red door with a dial next to it. The dial had four different colors on it. You go to investigate. "Is this a closet?... Why would I need this? I don't need clothes anymore… and what's with this dial?"


You tap it, but are wary enough not to twist it. You decide to open the door and take a peek. Upon opening it, you are blasted with sunlight. "Gyah geez!"


You put your hoof over your face as you let your eyes adjust to the light. You look past the door, before you was Ponyville. "Woooah cool, Wait..." You step outside the door, then quickly back inside. "....damn, thats pretty neat. What is this anyway?"


You close the door, having watched many cartoons and movies before. You started to guess what the dial does. You give it a twist and open the door. Upon opening it, you could see Fluttershy's Cottage… haha, super neat. With a growing smile, you close the door and try the third option.
You open the door, what you saw was a dank,dark forest. Was it the Everfree? "....nope"


You close the door, and try the last setting. You put your hoof on the knob. But you hesitate. "This one....for all I know this one is a joke." Whatever. Whatever it could be, you could just close the door before it rushes you. You take a breath, and open the door on the final setting.


...wait… Beyond the door was crystals and homes and a grand palace… this… this was the Crystal Empire. "...is this a joke? If it is… I don't get it. Why here?" You almost felt like taking a step out. But you had no business there. And you had work to do today.


You close the door. You go to the floor door that leads to the living room and open it. You peer downwards, the living room was back to normal. And you could smell a familiar breakfast treat coming from the room. "...Is that bacon and eggs?"


You descend the invisible gravity stairs to the floor of the living room and discover Discord already putting down a plate with bacon, scrambled eggs, and biscuits. He looks at you with a smile. "Ahhh, good morning Anon. Slept well I hope."


You did, still, you were wondering about why you just were sleeping at all. Ahhh, but that beautiful smell was so distracting… alluring. You approached the table and looked at the plate. "Is that mine?"


Discord nodded "Of course, I thought a more traditional breakfast would be appropriate today. One you were familiar with and would enjoy."


You sit down at the table, you better fucking believe you'd enjoy some bacon. "..wow, thanks Discord. Oh geez… it smells so good."


You begin to dig in immediately… oh god, it was so damn good. Ohhh… lovely… yummy bacon. You munch,chew, and enjoy your breakfast. It seems Discord himself wasn't pulling anything off today either. Good, because you were going to be busy… but still.


You swallow a glob of food then look at Discord. "Hey Discord, can I ask you a question about last night?"


"Hmmm? Oh, let me guess. It's about you suddenly waking up on your bed, right? You don't remember what happened?"


"No, what, did something happen?"


Discord hovered above you and gave you a pat on the head. "Something did, but nothing for you to worry about Anon. The important thing is that you have quite the day ahead of you. And I thought I'd show you something that might boost your morale!"


Wait… but what happened? "Discord, hold on. What did you do last night? Just knock me out? Why? I'm curious" He hasn't pulled anything on you yet… this… seemed like a normal conversation.


"Well I was working Anon, I didn't need the chance of you waking up and looking at my magnum opus of statues before I finished"


What?...so he just knocked you out to keep a secret? ok?...you didn't know if you should be annoyed by that. probably not, the breakfast was keeping you rather satisfied. "I could have just gone to bed you know?But..I guess this "Magnum Opus" is meant to be some sort of special surprise?" You smirk. "You know if it's some sort of horror monster thing, then I'm already prepared. You are getting pretty predictable, you know that right?"


Discord snickered as he stared at you, snapping his talons to make a large object appear behind him covered in a tarp. "Oh? Is that a challenge? that I can't surprise you?"


You nod, returning his smirk. "It can be the most vile thing in the universe and unless you actually mean to kill me… which you don't… Then you got nothing."


Discord grabbed the sheet and looked at you with a hard and malicious stare. "Ok Anon, let's see how you handle this then. I promise you that this is something you'd never EVER be able to predict."


You turn and stand the ready, even if it jumped at you. You wouldn't die. You had this. "Do it"


"Prepare yourself Anon...FOR THIS!!!" Discord pulls the sheets off the large figure.


You're rock steady preparation was instantly broken. What you saw… he was right… you weren't expecting it at all. "I-is that...?"


What stood before you wasn't a stone monster. It wasn't a hideous formed creature. No, It was a three part statue. a stone Discord with a fez and robe was smoking from a pipe, standing over and smiling down at a stone Fluttershy who was laying on her belly, covering a stone you with her stone wing as you slept.


...You couldn't say a damn thing. Your mouth just hung open. Discord moved close to you, and gently closed your mouth. Smiling a jovial smile "Did I win?"


...No way. You go over to the statue and look it over. The detail, the craftmanship....the feels… "Discord… what is all this?"


"It's a series of statues...what does it look like?"


"No no...I mean. What's with the scene. It's me..you..and Fluttershy. It's as if-"


"We're a family?" Discord nods "That's what you were going to say, right?"


You silently nod, still examining it.


"No doubt you're wondering why too. Well Anon. I felt, since the three of us get along so well and consider ourselves a family of sorts. I felt I should make something that perfectly represents it. What do you think?"


You were amazed. "It's… really good. It's just. It's also really serene and nice. I didn't expect this at all. It… I mean, just looking at it. I know I've never been a pony before… but this scene feels nostalgic. It makes me feel… well… eh..." You stop. "...now i'm sounding like a nerd"


Discord rested his back in mid air and looked up at the ceiling. "Oh no no, do go on. I want to hear ALL your critique"


You hesitate, it seemed really dorky to you. But...he wasn't insulting you...maybe it'd be good to let your guard down. just this once. "It makes me feel the feels Discord. This whole thing makes it seem that we're an actual family. And you know, it… well… considering I'm pretty much starting my life over from scratch, looking at this just makes me kind of wish it was actually like this… you know?"


Discord span in mid air to straighten himself out and flew over to the statue "Well Anon, I am quite happy with your review of my statue set. As for your feelings. It may not actually be like this. But I do like to consider us friends, and I know Fluttershy is already affectionate with you already. Come now, you're an adult deep inside. What you have should be good enough, don't you think? You are the luckiest being of your race, remember that."


You were… He was right. Expecting more than what you already have is selfish. And now that you had the freedom. You could do so much more for you… OH SHIT!


"AHHHHH! OH SHIT! I ALMOST FORGOT! DIAMOND TIARA AND SILVER SPOON!"


You look over to Discord and run under your door "DISCORD, I GOTTA GO! I GOT SOME SHIT TO DO!"


Discord wasn't insulted or annoyed, and just waved at you "Good luck Anon, I hope you enjoy your new door. Don't forget your map so you can get back"


You rush up the gravity stairs, and then look down at Discord one last time "I won't...and..really good work on that statue Discord! Seeya later! Take care!..geez shit!"


You close the door,and look for your map. It seems to have changed back from a portal to a map and fell to the ground. You grab it, put it in your saddle bag, and change the dial to the Ponyville setting, open the door. and dash off.


Time to set things right.

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