• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,517 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 128

You have to shake your head. You were still feeling drained and fatigued from Discord's magic.

as you stand there, recuperating. You can already see a few of the other foals walking into the schoolhouse. A few of them giving you odd looks due to the fact you were standing there.

You could feel a little weight to your side. You had your saddle bag magically on you.

Your mind thought about what just happened. Did you stick a piece of chair up a griffon's.....oh man Anon, that's both awesome and terrible at the same time. You knew what came over you, and you were so pumped. You felt you could take on the world.But all that raw anger, you wouldn't want someone like Fluttershy seeing it.

and good lord. You just agreed to go toe to toe with the princesses. And you were actually pretty hyped for it. You'd have unlimited magic at your disposal. You thought about how awesome it'd be to terrify them with your human antics. Ohhh man.


And Discord will have his win...and..ohhh..what if he makes the horn have unlimited charges forever after that? Damn, that'd be awesome.

"Anon? You ok?"

As you imagined all the things you could do. You feel a hoof on your side. Giving you a gentle shake.

"Anon, are you still sick or something?"

Oh..Oh shit...
You look up, and you see Scootaloo. She was alone this time around. She was wearing some snazzy looking goggles. And her wings were bigger. No doubt wearing the magical wings.
"Scootaloo? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be inside?"

"Shouldn't you? I just got here. Everypony else is inside I think. You ok? Are you still sick?"

"Huh?...oh right..right"
You almost forgot.
"Just still...recovering. But I'm alright. So uhh...what's been going on in school?"

Scootaloo raised her eyebrow at you "What's been going on?.....haven't you done any of the classwork your dad brought to you?"

..right..RIGHT...Discord filled it all out himself.

"Of course...ahh..I just meant if anything interesting that didn't have to do with class happened. You know, monster attacks, big fights, a race...something.."

"Nope, though that would be pretty cool. Could you imagine if Rainbow Dash came down to the school to try and race me with these wings? I've been practicing really hard with them to move as fast as possible. Then when they pop off of me. I always give my old wings a shot. But..." Scootaloo sighs "I can't seem to fly just yet. But that just means I gotta try harder."

Good for her, as long as she was still trying with her normal wings. Then you had no reason to berate her.
"Hey, I know you'll manage it one day. And you'll probably be super fast too. You're super fast on a scooter right?"

Scootaloo nods, giving you a cocky smirk. "The fastest filly in Ponyville. Nopony can ride a scooter like I can"

"Well, you'll probably be zooming all over the place when you get-"

The schoobell starts to ring. You can see Scootaloo's pupils shrink and ears droop as she pushes you inside. "We can save the small talk for later. We're gonna be late!"

Geez! ok ok. She was right. You didn't want you or her to be late.

As you get pushed inside. You can already see the other fillies and colts in their seats. And the seats you remember from the show were back in place. It meant the project was over. sheesh. You felt bad not being there for the final day. Scootaloo had already zipped into her seat after leaving her homework on Cheerilee's desk. Leaving you standing there, confused.

Cheerilee immediately notices you and greets you with a smile from her desk as she straightened up the homework papers. "Welcome back Anon. Please, take a seat. You can sit there next to Twist." She points to a seat in the second row to the farthest right. ugh...Twist? Really? Eh, it's fine. Not like you'd do much talking while in class.

As you go to sit on your new seat. Cheerilee continues to speak to you, she was worried about you, like she would any of her students. "Are you feeling better? I hope you didn't force yourself to be here while you were still sick. Your father hasn't really let me know too much about what was wrong with you. And I pray to Celestia that it was nothing serious."

"I'm feeling much better. Thank you very much Miss Cheerilee"
You bow your head as a sign of respect. You wanted her to know you appreciate her concern. After what happened at the bar, especially hitting your head a couple of times. You really did appreciate the genuine concern.

Cheerilee smiled "Well, that's a relief then. Then I have one more question before we begin. Did you manage to do your homework?"

haha! you did!

You nod. Reach into your saddle bag and pull out your homework and classwork. You actually had some worry about your classwork as you take a quick glance at it. Because if it was as bad as Discord said it was. Then you'd slip it back into your saddle bag. But...oddly enough. It matched the writing you had on your homework. Discord did say he matched your writing. Maybe it changed as you improved while doing your homework. Good enough for you.
"I did, and all my classwork too! Pretty good huh?"

Cheerilee however didn't give you a congratulatory smile. Instead, she looked at you with an expression of suspicion. "All your classwork? Anon, you really did all of that in one day? I expected you to turn it in segments so you wouldn't get bogged down."

fuck..FUCK. Why was she suspicious?! it's not like, realistically, you'd have anything else to do.
"W-well. Miss Cheerilee. I was in bed all day. I had to do something to pass the time."

Cheerilee had considered that. But no student she's ever had make up class work ever did it in a day unless they only ever missed one day. She always let them take the amount of days to finish up the classwork. And you managed to do two days of classwork and a homework assignment in the span of one without getting bored or burnt out. But..if you did it. Then that was actually something to be proud of. "Anon relax. I just wanted to know. You should be proud of yourself. Not many of my students can get that much work done in one day. Now.."
Cheerilee pats the side of her desk where the homework is. "You can turn them in right here. And for the future. Have your homework ready to turn in when you step into my class."

Right...you'd take the praise but, internally. You couldn't. You cheated, and the work was probably super easy. But fine. You just give her a thanks and put down your classwork and homework on the desk. At least the homework was legit.

And with that Cheerilee stood up as you went back to your seat to start the school day. "Ahrm, Good morning class!"

Everyone, including yourself this time let out a "Good Morning Miss Cheerilee"
ahh, that felt nice. Schools didn't really do that when you were in school, even when you were younger.

And that good morning seemed to fill Cheerilee with good cheer. "As you all know, Nightmare Night is tomorrow. And I was thinking that we could do something to fit the theme today since there is no school tomorrow. So I was thinking..." Suddenly, she made an evil face, and made herself sound much more villainous "QUADRUPLE HOMEWORK AND ASTRO PHYSICS. ALL WORTH THIRTY GRADES! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The entire class immediately starts to panic, Snips even screaming out "MISS CHEERILEE IS POSSESSED!"

You however, for once, didn't react. You knew it was a cute ruse.

Cheerilee however grimaced at the class reaction. She was hoping they'd catch on to the joke in a half second. "C-calm down class. I was only kidding"

It took her a little bit of extra time. But she managed to get them to calm down. She shook her head. She couldn't believe their reaction. "Alright...let's just do something simple for today so you all can have your fun tomorrow. There won't even be homework. Let's see...."

Cheerilee went and looked into her lesson plan. She wanted to find something easy within it. Even if it was a lesson for later. "Let's see.....let's see....no, they wouldn't want to do math.." Cheerilee looked up at them for a quick glance, wanting to at least give you all a math lesson right after nightmare night for the undue panic. She didn't appreciate the remark of being "possessed"

Finally, she spots something easy. It would let them busy themselves for the day while she checks the homework. "Ok class...how would you all like to learn about the history of carriages."

Snips, taking the question seriously, let's out a "But that sounds boring!"

Cheerilee groaned and looked down right towards him as she went to get her history book. "That wasn't actually a question Snips. Even if it's boring, the invention of carriages is actually very important. And made travelling,trade, and moving supplies so much simpler."

........wait huh?
hold on..
You raise your hoof, there was a question you wanted to ask.

"Anon? Do you have a question you want to ask?"

You nod
"Yeah, I get that it probably made moving supplies easier. But, how did it make travelling easier? Don't ponies have to pull them anyway? Doesn't that ruin the point of riding them? Especially when we have trains?"

"That's actually a very good question Anon. And to answer it, I can start by saying. Yes, you'd be right that it's not very useful for travelling if you are by yourself. But there are ponies who are fairly strong and pull carriages with passengers along for bits. Usually four or six ponies will gather together to pull a carriage. Depending on the weight. And they will pull their cargo and passengers to their destination. Some of these very destinations being rather far away from any train stop."

Well fuck. You should have realized there was probably companies that run carriage pulling. Or just getting the strong earth ponies together to pull carts and carriages. Well played technicolored ponies, well played.

"Now, let's begin." Cheerilee rolls over the chalkboard to start the lesson. "I expect you all to take notes. After the lesson is over you are all to take a test book and complete the exam on page fifty six. Don't worry, if you all pay attention. This will be easy."

Cripes....this was going to get boring. But, as long as your adrenaline drain didn't overly affect you. You'd do fine.

And the lesson began. You took out a piece of paper like everyone else and wrote notes on anything important sounding. She talked about the inventor of the carriage. How she managed to get the wheels attached to a barrel to make the first wheeled cart. Yadda Yadda. Despite the lesson itself, there wasn't too much to the lesson. Though the explanation of carriages made out of special cloud material to make them much easier to pull in the air for pegasi was pretty neat. Though that was made by a female pegasi apparently named "Cloud Niner". And from her description, she was definitely a dreamer who reached her destiny of better carriages.

The lesson then ended, Cheerilee thanked all of you for paying attention, even if not all of you did. She goes to sit at her desk as she allows all of you to grab a test book.

they were lined up in a bookcase. You actually didn't know which one to take. So you just followed along. However, there was one little filly who noticed your hesitation.

"Anon? it's that book right there." Sweetie Belle points to the books all the other ponies are taking. "the one labeled "History in inventions,gadgets, and gizmos” "

...Right, you could see that. But, well...the only reason she must have spoke up was because you backed off from taking a book.
"Thanks Sweetie Belle"

"You're welcome!" Sweetie Belle gave you a sickeningly sweet smile as she took a book of her own. You knew she didn't have a crush on you...but still. You couldn't imagine her reactions to you if she did.

You take the book and sit down at your seat.

Cheerilee takes the time to look up and say "And remember, once you open your books, you're not allowed to study your notes anymore. So only start when you're ready"

Right. Easy...you took a glance at your notes to memorize names. Because the more technical stuff was pretty easy to remember. And then you got to work.

the test book's instructions only told you to write down your answers to the questions. numbering each one. probably for Cheerilee to match question numbers with answer numbers. This test however, was a total breeze. Maybe too easy, but that's thanks to your average but functional adult mind.

It didn't take long at all to finish. It almost felt automatic when it came to writing the answers. And upon finishing up, you spit out your pencil, leaned back, and smiled arrogantly to yourself as you waited for everyone else to finish.

Cheerilee, who had already started checking the homework, looked up and noticed you were sitting back doing nothing. She found that odd, considering it hadn't been too long since the test started. "Anon" She puts down the current homework to look directly at you. "What are you doing?"

This also catches the attention of the other students. Who stare at you as if you were causing troubles.
Oh...maybe you finished TOO fast?
"Uhh, I finished my work Miss Cheerilee."

"All of it?" There was no way.

You nod

You were starting to feel a sense of self satisfaction though. You were actually getting eager to see her reaction.

"Hmmm..." She had a huge doubt about this. No student she ever had could finish a test that fast. She even brought out her answer guide for this one. So she could review your answers quickly. "Then please bring your work to the desk. And..I know I forgot to mention this. But in the future. When you are finished with a test, you bring it up to my desk. Alright?"
You nod, hiding a smile, trying to pretend to be a little panicky instead of actually being panicky
"O-oh, s-sorry...here.."

You got up and grabbed your homework, placing it on her desk.

Cheerilee noted your reaction. And now was sure that you just sped through the test. Already she was disappointed. She didn't like having lazy students. "Ok, you may go to your seat and I'll check your work"

You almost giggle. But hold it in. You could see on her face that she wasn't too pleased. You could guess why. You dropped your ears a little and looked at the class. A few were back focusing on the test. But Applebloom and Diamond Tiara were looking at you as if something went wrong....perfect.

You sat back down down on your seat and waited.

Ohhh damn, this was gonna be sweet. You had waited for this one. A chance to see what would happen when Cheerilee doubted your abilities.

Cheerilee was dutifully looking through your work. You watched closely. And as she went through your work, her expression started to change. She muttered under her breath. ".....a perfect score"

She didn't say anything directly. Instead, she took your homework and started looking it over. You had this in the bag too. If for any reason she had any questions about it. You could just say "Y'know Discord"

And she looked like she had questions to ask. Because soon after reading your report. She was looking directly at you. She looked pretty serious about it too. "Anon, can I have a word with you, privately?"

Hold it in Anon, hold it in. This was gonna be sweet. ugh...you hope hanging around Discord didn't make you more excited for this than you wanted to be. And yet, it felt right. And besides, once it's acknowledged you're damned smart of a pony. You could probably breeze through class without question.

You nod, acting nervous "O-ok"

School was no big deal to you. It was much easier to remain calm here. You had nothing to worry about. No villains, no traps, no crazy shenanigans. It was all kids stuff....relatively speaking.

You got up and followed Cheerilee outside. Some of the students looking at you. Wondering what was going on.

Cheerilee steps aside and waits for you to step past her before closing the door. Boy, it was a nice morning today. But, you only gaze up at the sky for a moment before turning to Cheerilee.
"Is something wrong Miss Cheerilee?"

She actually had no idea how to answer that. She found your speed, perfection, and the subject matter of your homework. concerning. "I just want to have a talk with you Anon. I decided to grade your test."

"And what did I get?"

You look at her with cute curiosity. For this...lying had never been so easy. It was still difficult for you when it came to Fluttershy and some of the others. If only you had at least one of the Mane 6 to who you could confide to about the truth...

Cheerilee looked unsure. She couldn't even get an inkling on how you truly felt. She found it strange. Were you just modest? Did you cheat..somehow? No, she didn't see you doing anything that would be considered cheating. "You got a perfect score."

You acted as if it was nothing. Just smiling a meek little smile.
"Oh? Umm..ok. Is that bad? Was I supposed to get something wrong?"

Cheerilee shook her head "Well, no. Not at all. It's just..."
She couldn't just grill you on it. It wouldn't be right. She stopped, and moved on to your homework. "Nevermind, I also decided to check your homework"

"Oh, you mean my report on changelings? What did you think?"

And that was what struck her the most off. The report was detailed. There was even things in it she was sure that wasn't documented. Such as on the actual way the love draining works. "I thought it was very....insightful. But Anon, how did you come across that kind of information?"

You look at her, and then give her the happiest grin you could muster
"Dad of course. he provided me with the stuff I needed to study up on changelings"


"You know, ancient stuff, like texts. Stuff nopony would be able to get. Unless you're my dad of course."

She couldn't argue that. Though it made her curious. She wouldn't mind reading some actual source material on changelings. "Well, you have been busy then. I'm very impressed Anon." Cheerilee gives you a gentle rub on the head. "I never had a student who took their work this seriously."

You giggled
"Oh you know, I just want to do my best."

Just from that, Cheerilee grew a newfound respect for you. Not just from your disposition. But the fact that you had been with Discord for a while, and you were nothing like him...at least from what she's ever seen of you thus far. "Anon, you wouldn't still have any of your study material would you? I wouldn't mind borrowing it and giving it a read"

..ahh shit
"O-oh, uhhh..Dad put it back where he found it. Said it'd be no fun if ponies knew everything about changelings. Whatever that means"

You give an actual nervous chuckle

Well for Cheerilee, that was disappointing to hear. But that also sounded like a legitimate reason to her. Maybe next time. She let out a sigh. "Ahh well, let's head back inside. You can put your head down and get a little rest on your desk until recess. I don't usually allow it. But...It's not like there's anything else for you to do."

Bonus points...
"What about the work for after Recess? I wouldn't mind doing that."

She would give it to you, but she feared the other students would get jealous if she handed you work that early. "No no, just get some rest...umm"
Cheerilee takes a hard look at you. You did seem a little disheveled. "You look like you need a little more, are you sure you're still not sick?"

You weren't. Just a little tired.
"Nah, I'm fine. But ok. But if you just want to hand me more classwork. I'll be right on my seat."

You nodded happily to Cheerilee and headed back inside.

Cheerilee...was confused. She never expected that to happen. She even gave herself a little slap. "....No, not dreaming. I actually have a ridiculously dutiful colt as a student...who just happens to be Discord's son. Maybe I should lie down....no..no, Cheerilee, you still have homework to grade. And classwork to look over."

And so you waited. Putting your head down until recess rang. You prepared yourself. Because no doubt five fillies were going to gather around you for yet another cutie mark attempt. You'd have to tell them you're not in the mood today. Maybe just play a cute childish game and indulge in your young age.

Finally, the bell rang. With only Snips and Snails not finished yet. They seemed to rush the final answers on their test as they rush it up to Cheerilee's desk.

And as Cheerilee let you all out to go frolic and play, the five fillies came up to you, as expected.
"Heya Anon, how are ya doin' to-...what the?"

”What the?” indeed. You started to float upwards as an aura started to envelope around you.
and it was catching the attention of every pony in the room.

"Anon? How are you floating?" Diamond Tiara asked, she wasn't worried. Surely there was a reason for this.

"U-uhh...I dunno."
You really didn't.

Scootaloo checked your back for wings. But nothing. "Well, it's not a pair of wings."

But Sweetie Belle started to notice the aura getting brighter. "Oh my gosh! OH MY GOSH! IT'S HAPPENING!"

"What's happening?" Silver Spoon adjusted her glasses to get a focused look at you. But she couldn't tell what was happening. and it was getting worrisome.

But Applebloom realized what was going on, and was struck with awe. "OOHHHH ANON IS GETTING HIS CUTIE MARK!"

"Woah Really? That's amazing! He didn't even do anything!" Scootaloo remarked.

"I am?! I AM?! BUT WHY?!"

Cheerilee stepped up to you. She thinks she figured it out. And gave you a warming smile. "Oh...I think I know what it is"

Cheerilee expected you to figure it out yourself before it actually appeared. She thought you were getting one for your obscene intelligence.
"You do?"

"You do?" the five fillies ask

"Mhmm, it's obvious that Anon is gett-" But Cheerilee is cut off as the cutie mark event finally happens.

Or rather it didn’t; you explode instead.

The entire class screams in terror. Even Cheerilee is screaming like a little girl. While Diamond Tiara faints.

Even you heard the explosion of your body. You immediately rub yourself to make sure you were all together. You were...oh god. What happened?!

"Really Anon? Can you save that inappropriate touching for your bedroom?"

That was...
You look up...Discord.
"Dad?! What are you doing at my school?! What just happened?!"

Discord looked around, he seemed confused. "School? What school?"

You look around.....you weren't at the school anymore. You were at the end of a hallway. infront of some double doors. Given the many shades of white and light blue. And the banners....Canterlot Castle?

...ohh...you didn't get your Cutie Mark...it was just Discord being impatient.

You put your hoof to your face.
"Are you serious? You couldn't wait until after school like we planned?"

Discord shrugged "That would have taken like, a thousand hours Anon. I felt your recess is the perfect time to talk to them instead. Then I can plop you back to class right after."

class...OH SHIT?!
"Wait..wait..hold on. Speaking of class. What exactly happened? You usually just immediately poof me to places. I started to glow this time, and then I thought I heard some screaming....there wasn't screaming right?"

Discord gave you a gentle pat on the head "Of course not, it was probably just the wooshing noise of magic. As for the glowing, I thought i'd give you a little time to tell them where you were going before you actually appeared here. You did give them that courtesy, right?"

"No! I didn't know what was going on. We all thought I was getting my Cutie Mark. Are you sure there wasn't screaming. Because I felt like I exploded."

"Ugh, yes yes. I'm sure. Don't worry about it Anon, I'm sure nothing bad happened. My magic is always a cut above the rest."

...fine...fine..teleporting was never a problem before. Everything should be ok...but this door.
"Ok...but..what about this door? It doesn't look like it leads to the throne room"

"It doesn't, but the princesses are just beyond it."

"Both of them? Really?"

You looked at the door carefully, it had a knob with a keylock on it. waiiit...
"This isn't their bedroom, is it?"

Discord shakes his head. "No, that's a few floors up."

You try to turn the doorknob. But it's locked.
"Discord, the door is locked. I mean, I don't have to ask how we're gonna get in. But, what's behind this door? Planning room? Study? What?"

"It's just a room Anon, just like any other room." Discord turned one of his claws into a key and opened the door. It led to...a smaller hallway with another set of doors. But..there was steam in the room. and..towel racks...oh shit no.

You had an idea of what was behind the next set of doors.
"Discord...what the hell? This is some sort of bath or something. We can't go in there!"

"Why not? It's not like ponies aren't always naked anyway"

"Discord. These are women we're talking about. They are going to get pissed if we just burst in there."

"Ohhhhh...can you guarantee that? I wouldn't mind a special bonus for coming to visit our dear princesses."

You plant your butt outside the first set of doors. And look at him sternly. "We're not stepping in there Discord, and that's final."

"...ohhh...we have been growing more of a backbone...haven't we? But how do you plan to stop me Anon?" He beckons to you with a talon, making you slide into the room. "Besides, aren't you curious to see the princesses up close? With their manes nice and wet. I know you're into that"

That's tempting.
Very tempting. You might not get another chance to see both of them like this. And besides, you were a cute innocent colt. It'd be all Discord's fault for trying to corrupt you. Oh the ponenanity.

You look up at Discord, and point to the door.
"After you...Dad"

Discord chuckled, he was having a thought of his own. "If you insist"

Discord opens the door like they were saloon doors and steps inside, you following him. kind of anxious to see this sight for yourself.

Woah...the room was...kinda big. it was like an indoor swimming pool. But smaller, and steam everywhere. It seems royal bathing was pretty much first class luxury relaxing. Though, there was one thing missing.

"Where are the princesses? You said they were here."

Discord was rubbing his chin, even he was confused. "I was sure they were. I couldn't have missed them. They were right there"

you stepped closer to the water, and dipped your hoof in it...ooohhh...warm...and kind of soapy. Taking a dip in that...would be so awesome. But...was the water always there? or did it have a drain? You dare not step inside if it was somehow stagnant. Though it shouldn't be given that lavender smell, Discord did say they were here recently.

"Hmmmmm...where could they..."
As Discord pondered on if he missed anything. You dipped your hoof in again.....ohhh..it really was so nice.

Then suddenly, from the middle of the bath. Celestia popped out taking in a deep breath.
You looked up at her, and you could feel yourself instantly smitten. She looked..woah, her mane down, yet still waving gently, with a little in front of her face, her coat glistening clean. Her eyes, gentle.

"Well, it looks like I lost." Celestia put her hooves to her mouth, giggling. She then let out a shout "Sister, you've beaten me. You can come out now"

Now that Celestia had popped up. You didn't know what to say. It had been forever since you seen her. And that was when you just got to Equestria. And she looked...just..wow...you wouldn't mind cuddling up with her.

"Oh...there she is. HI PRINCESS CELESTIA! HOW ARE YOU DOING?!" Discord waved and yelled her way.

Unlike the last time, Celestia wasn't calm and ready for this. She immediately turned to the both of you in surprise. "Discord? Discord.....Why are you in our bath chambers?" Though, she didn't seem too upset. Just annoyed.

"Well, Anon here wanted to see what it would look like when princesses takes baths, and how could I deny my smart and curious little colt? hmmm?" Discord chuckled wickedly as he gave you a glance before looking back at Celestia.

you blush heavily.
"Liar! We didn't come here for that!

"Ahh, but didn't we come in here because you wanted to see the princesses instead of waiting for them? I couldn't just come in here without you, you know. This was your choice."

That fucker! GODDAMMIT! HE PISSES YOU OFF SO MUCH SOMETIMES! Even if he was your buddy and partner.

Celestia looks at you with a disappointed look "Anon..is this true? I didn't think you'd be such a little peeper. Not after the letters I've received about you."

You open your mouth to defend yourself. Until another familiar princess bursts out of the water, taking a deep breath...It was Princess Luna...oh shit...OH SHIT. SHE WAS HERE TOO! AND YOU HAVE YET TO MEET HER!

Luna noticed that Celestia was above the water before her. and immediately started to cackle "Haha! It appears that I am the winner! How do you like that sister....Sister?"

Luna notices Celestia gazing away from her. She looks over to where Celestia was facing and sees you and Discord. You were worried as Discord silently waved. And unlike Celestia, Luna was more than annoyed. She was angry. "Discord! What is your reason for intruding upon our royal bath time!"

oh god...that was actually kind of funny.You didn't know whether to laugh or run the hell out of there. As you step back, Luna takes notice of you. "Is that a colt? Is that Discord's son?"

You say nothing, you look up at Discord. gritting your teeth.
"...tell them already"

"Tell them what? I already told Princess Celestia that you came in here to peep at them."

And that...that set Luna off. "HE DID WHAT?!"

oh lord... As you back up however. you begin to float upwards. You look over, and Celestia's horn was glowing. She was...OH GOD SHE WAS DRAWING YOU CLOSER.

"Anon...." She brings you right above the water, right in front of her. Something had already clicked in her head about all this. "Did you really come to just peep at us?"

You look backwards
"Dad......do you mind?"

Discord shrugged "Not my fault Anon, you should be more mindful about the princesses's privacy"

"...?" Luna was confused "So...it really was this colt. That came in here of his own free will? To do just that?"

You started to shiver.

"It seems so sister." Celestia said as she brought you even closer, she dipped you in the water just a little, so you could be at eye level with her. Then, she started to smile gently. "Of course, him being so young. I'd just call it cute curiosity." Then Celestia outstretched her front hooves as she brought you closer, and hugged. Oh god...she was super soft. and the water was so warm. "After all, what's the difference between us being wet or dry?"

Discord was caught offguard, he wasn't expecting her to hug you. "Excuse me?"

Even Luna was confused "Sister...what are you doing?"

And you.....you couldn't even speak.

"I'm giving our guest a hug of affection. Do you think his father ever gives him any? That's probably the real reason he came in here. You know Discord, always thinking about himself."

"EXCUSE ME?!" Discord couldn't believe it, they were supposed to be heavily offended.

Celestia then holds you up to Luna, you were blushing, nervous, even embarrassed.

"U-umm.." You were utterly stunned with embarrassment

"Besides, could you resist giving such a cute little colt like him a hug?" Celestia giggled.

Luna just stared at you, then she gave you a gentle pat. "I...admit. He is rather adorable....but still. He shouldn't be in here."

"Oh don't be so uptight. Here, try hugging him." Celestia hovered you over to Luna, who found herself catching you, and in turn hugging you. Ohhhh...she was also super soft...ohh...

"...hmmm..." You could feel her easing into it, her hug becoming more tender with every passing second. "...I suppose I could overlook this." Luna looked down at your face. She felt a little heartbroken now. She felt she had frightened you. She started to speak in a tone as soothing as a lullaby "...Little colt. Please don't be afraid. I will not harm you."

....ok...they....they weren't angry. And...they were so gentle. You didn't even know what was going on around you. And the way they were acting. It made you feel like an actual child looking for affection. You actually cuddled up to Luna,

Discord cleared his throat to their attention "Ahrm....excuse me, but I came here because there's a very important matter I'd like to discuss with the both of you."

Celestia moved over to you to give you a gentle pat, not even looking over to Discord "Discord, you already mentioned what it was. You can go now. We'll have your son cleaned and ready to come back to you in about twenty minutes."


Discord exploded, growing multiple heads that bellowed all at once "I'LL HAVE THE BOTH OF YOU KNOW THAT I AM MORE POWERFUL AND COULD DEFEAT THE BOTH OF YOU IN A FIGHT RIGHT NOW! DO NOT IGNORE ME!"

Luna held you close, she looked at Discord with a death glare. She only knew so much about your relationship with him. But in her eyes already, she saw an abusive father.

Celestia calmly turned and looked to Discord. "Yes...I am aware you could. So, there really isn't any point of you mentioning it...is there?"

Discord grimaced...there wasn't. He just wanted them to listen. He knew he could win in a fight at any time. No...what he cared about was thrashing them at pranking. He went back to his normal form as he grit his teeth. Being silent.

Celestia waits for a moment, then raises her eyebrow at him "Well, you have our attention Discord. We're waiting."

"Hmph, I don't think I want to tell you now. A shame, because this would be something in which you have a chance to completely defeat me in. Something very important to the two of you, I would think." Discord crossed his arms and looked away.

Celestia shrugged and turned back to you. "Suit yourself Discord, You know the way out the door. I'll be sure to send Fluttershy a letter about this intrusion by the way."

Hearing that, you had to look back, you had to see his face for this.

and it was glorious, he was sweating hard. He didn't need any of that kind of publicity. but he only showed his fear for only a moment before setting himself to neutral. Damn, you'd have loved a picture of it. He was probably still quaking in his boots.

"hmm, fine fine. The real reason we are here is because I want to issue a challenge to the both of you. A challenge of family. Me and my son vs. The two sisters."

Luna answers first, looking up at Discord with annoyance. Unlike Celestia, she was ready to try to blast him if he tried anything. "A challenge? Why? So you could just humiliate us? I will not accept. Especially since you are involving your son in this. No doubt to torture him too."

Discord was not enjoying the fact that you were on the princesses side. Though, you were just kind of shoved in there by his own whim. He just didn't want to take responsibility. "Oh no no, he would be my equal in this. And it's funny you mention humiliation. Because that's exactly what it's about. You see, I challenge...WILL YOU STOP THAT?!"

While Luna was still looking at Discord, Celestia took you in her hooves as she floated above the water. and began to gently cradle you. Hell, you didn't mind. This was soothing.

Discord snapped his talons, poofing you from Celestia to the ground next to him. "AS I WAS SAYING! I CHALLENGE YOU BOTH TO A BATTLE OF PRANKS!" Discord was heavily panting in rage.

And that deeply confused Luna once again. "Pranks? That's an unusual battle. And you can't expect us to just accept. We're not even prepared."

"Yes, I'm aware ponies such as yourself require "preparation". That's why this battle will take place on Nightmare Night itself. As the pranks will all be horror themed. It should be easy for you Princess Luna...you being Nightmare Moon before."

and that set off Luna "YOU INSOLENT!..."

Celestia put a hoof on top of her sister's leg to calm her down, to let her know she was there for her. "Calm yourself sister...."

"I will not! He comes into our home! Into our royal bath time! and demands such a challenge from us? We can't just let him do what he wishes!"

Celestia understood her sister's rage, she took a look at Discord and nodded "And we won't...Because we accept the challenge."

"What?!" Luna was losing her cool so fast and so quick. It was scary. "Sister! How could you?!"

"It's a battle of pranks..." Celestia looked to Luna "Are you saying we have no experience in that? That we would give up our title to...well..him?"

It took Luna a moment, it didn't even actually register what the challenge was until Celestia told her. "...."
Luna then looked at Discord, gave him a glare, then glared at Celestia with an expression that would know no defeat. "Of course not....but it's been so long."

"You never forget a good prank. Will you join me sister? Will you help me defend our title?" Celestia asks.

Luna nodded. Of course she would. For her sister, She'd do anything. "Yes...yes..I accept the challenge as well."

Celestia then turned to Discord and nodded with a smile "Well, that's that then. But Discord...is your son really up to the task to handle us? He is..inexperienced. Probably slow on the uptake. And would probably fall into any trap we might set up near instantly."

Woah what the fuck? First affection..now insulting?
and insulting your perceptive abilities of all things?! you weren't some simple colt.

you wouldn't let her talk about you like that....sorta.....she was a princess.
"I'm as good a prankster as any. I'm Discord's son and partner. I think I can hold my own!"

Celestia starts to giggle

...ahh man..come on.
"Don't laugh! I don't care that you're a princess! If you're going to be that way. I'll crush the both of you myself!"

Celestia giggled again. Luna was rather shocked by your reaction however.

"I'm sure you'll try. now come back here, I want to scrub your back." Celestia playfully taunted

.......you immediately start to blush.

Luna notices your reaction. and suddenly has an epiphany. "Sister....does this young colt have a crush on you?"

Celestia laughed, oh she was laughing. "You know, I think he actually does. That's very adorable. Discord, maybe I should adopt your son from you. How does that sound?"

...you backed off. ogghh....Worst thing is you knew Celestia probably did want to give you actual motherly affection.

"If we're all done. I'd like to explain the rules now...if you don't mind." Discord was growing more and more impatient with this. He tried to ignore them.

Part of you wanted to go back in there. But you didn't want to become too wrapped up with the affection. You were still Discord's partner. And you still wanted to go into this full force. You owed him that much. Especially since he was giving you unlimited charges for the day tomorrow. You were sure they'd understand your feelings. If it came up.
...but damn..were they soft and cuddly. You wondered how soft Fluttershy would be from those waters. You could probably instantly fall asleep on her tummy from it all.

"Alright alright" Celestia giggled "We're listening. Explain the rules."

"Good. The rules are as follows. The battle with take place inside your castle. To give you SOME sort of home advantage. You will of course have a day to set up anything you might need for tomorrow since it's obvious me and Anon will require no kind of preparation. To keep with the theme, these pranks will be meant to scare. So the scarier the better. The first team to give up or be frightened beyond recognition will be the winner. Now, as a courtesy. Since beating the two of you would be empty without letting you have a say. I will allow you to impose any rules of your own. So...what will it be?"

"...." Luna looked hard at Discord "what's the point?...you will not follow any of our rules."

Discord frowned at Luna, he at least felt good knowing he could still get under her skin. "Luna, that hurts..it really does. I'm reformed remember? You can trust me."

Luna wasn't convinced, and so she looked to you "Young colt...Anon. I can trust you to try your best to make sure your father doesn't cheat. Right? You would merely need to tell either me or my sister if he does."

Discord didn't like the sound of that "Excuse me, but he is MY son. not your snitch."

AND..you could also speak for yourself.
"I'll do it"

"Anon...remember who your partner is" Discord looks down at you. He didn't like what he heard.

"Dad, you want the satisfaction of winning? Then we have to abide by their rules. Other than that...yeah..I'm with you all the way. I promise, for the sake of competition, I won't hesitate to bring us the win"

Celestia nods "That's good to hear. I'm glad to know your loyalties lies with your father. A son and father should never be torn apart. Even if the son does have a crush on me" Celestia giggles again.

You cringe, it wasn't a crush. IT WASN'T A CRUSH! it was just...attraction.
"Grr! You'll see. You want a crush, I'll give you crush!"

Celestia giggled "I'm sure you will Anon" she winks at you.

oohhhh..ohhh..she was getting under your skin now.....you also kind of wish she'd sort of actually do that in the kinky way...no DAMMIT NO! GET THAT THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD!

"ugh, just tell me your rules so we can be done with it. Anon does have school to get back to"

Celestia began to think. "Ahh, I was wondering if he was actually out of class or not. But let's see...rules...rules...Can you give me and my sister a moment to discuss this?"

"Of course, I'll wait right here" Discord says as he starts balancing himself on his tail.

"Privately Discord...as in. The both of you leave,"

"...oh....oh of course. I'll come back in in ten minutes then...come along Anon" Discord scoops you up and heads outside the bathing room . He wanted to have a chat with you himself anyway.

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