Dadonequus Discord (Book 1)

by CrazedLaughter

First published

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

Wanting to impress his best friend and bolster his own reputation. Discord takes a human from earth and changes him into a colt. But not just any human, a human who knows about the show itself. Thus begins a symbiotic relationship where Anon gets to experience life in Equestria as a young child while Discord can use him for his own plans. Of course, the information of Anon's origins are to remain a secret. And this of course, along with Anon being quite the manchild, creates all sorts of hi-jinks for both him and those around him. Though, considering his adoptive father is Discord. Chaos is all part of the course.

The story is mostly slice of life. Especially at the beginning. But as it goes on, things become more chaotic and life tumbles down into chaos for our good Anon. Everything from dealing with the queen of the changelings to even getting his own chance at soviet Glimmer. All that and more in this story.

This is a reformatted version (reformatted by ShobieShy) of the greentexted "Dadonequus Discord" written during mid season 5 by myself.

Cover Art by "Bunny". made specifically for the story link to the original version

Chapter 1

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You sighed, of all the goddamn ways to finally enter the land of fantasy and happiness. You somehow found yourself plucked and dropped right onto it's rather grotesque backside.

"I thought you said a ticket to Equestria came with no strings attached? W-" you stopped yourself for a moment, and thought hard on your next words. Only you and Discord knew of not only this pact. but the fact that you came from a world disconnected from Equestria in all ways except by a simple TV screen.

You sighed. Might as well get the answer. Maybe it can help you get out of being a little colt by finding some loophole...or something.

"Why do I have to be your.....ahh..son? Exactly?"

Discord chortled "Well that's very simple Anon. It's because I'm bored and I thought I'd have a little fun at your expense. Besides, hasn't it always been your dream to be my son?"

it wasn't… Friend maybe… But not his "Son"

"Yes… yes.. I mean.. YES" You blurted out. You couldn't say no for some reason. no matter how hard you tried. You couldn't get out the words "No". You panicked and fell backwards before realizing it must be one of his chaotic tricks.

"Ahh see? That's why I, being the good natured father that I am. Took in you, Anon. A poor, defenseless, little colt. And about the strings..."

Discord held up some strings in front of your face before tossing them backwards. "As you can see, they weren't attached to anything. Anon, it hurts to see my son being so inquisitive of my nature when it's plainly clear that I've kept up my end of the deal without a single HINT of malcontent. Now....about that hug?"

You groaned. You couldn't argue that logic. But only because he'd just find a loophole through whatever loophole you could find. But being his son? You were sure that was another name for "Plaything"

You just looked at him. Annoyed. And turned around. Only to find yourself on a precarious and tiny platform. below you a host of spikes

The platform quickly shrunk, making you jump backwards....and right into Discord's arms
Discord snuggled you and laughed "There we go, don't you feel all better now that you got a hug from the best dad you could ever hope for?"

You were shaking in fear. You almost died "DON'T LET ME DOWN. PLEASE. DON'T DROP ME!"

Discord giggled "Anon, pleeeeease. I'm your father. I'd never do anything so heinous as to let you fall down"

You weren't paying attention. You never were so close to death in your life. You actually found yourself snuggling your face into his chest.

"However..." Suddenly Discord just lets you go.

You scream as you fall......upwards?
Before you can finish your panicked yelling. You immediately slam headfirst into some grass. You feel a little dizzy as you try to orient yourself and spit out a few blades.

"That's not funny As-" Before you could finish your sentence. You found your mouth suddenly zipped up with a physical zipper. Discord suddenly appeared before you. shaking his taloned finger at you

"tch,tch. Anon. You should know cursing won't be tolerated. Unless..well...hmmm"
Discord twirled his beard for a moment. Thinking of his next words. As you tried to open your mouth.
"Well....unless it's a fun magical curse. otherwise, no cursing. Are we clear?"

You just make muffled noises. Discord shook his head and put his arms to his side. "Heavens Anon, when I ask you something. I expect a clear and concise response. No mumbling....are we clear?"

You try to yell louder, your face becoming red before you realize he's just messing with you some more. He's just staring at you with a cocky smile. You give up, and fall forward into the grass. It was clear going against him was definitely not an option.

Suddenly, the zipper zips back down as Discord pats you on the head. "Good. Now, I have a question for you Anon"

You just lay there, defeated, putting your face in the ground as you feel the humiliation flow through you. "what...?"

"Well, I've never been a father before, you see. I haven't the faintest clue on what to do first. What would you suggest?"

You didn't even bother to look at him. With a dead tone, you respond. "How about you throw me in the river, since I won't be able to be with my waifu"

"EXCELLENT IDEA!" Discord chimed as you suddenly flew up and darted right into a nearby river. Before you knew it, your vision was muddled by the river's water as you twirled about in it's depth.

You held your breath and struggled to try to get topside. But these damnable limbs. You weren't used to them but you couldn't let yourself drown. You tried desperately. You managed to get your head above water as you yelled for help. "SAVE ME!"

Discord poofed above you. He seemed confused. "Save you? But didn't you want this?"


You found yourself struggling to stay afloat as you yelled for Discord's help. "hmm, No. I don't think I should.....not unless you say the magic word of course." Discord, said. Giving you an almost evil toothy grin.

"YOU CAN'T *glurg* BE SERIOUS?!"

Discord said nothing. And you were beginning to tire and sink. Would he really let you drown? Well, this wasn't a time to find out.

"F-FINE! SAVE ME, PLEASE!" Within a flash, you found yourself out of the water and upside down. Your hooves clipped by clothespins as you hang from a wire.

"Wow Anon, my lessons are really leaving you out to dry. How are you supposed to learn anything when you just insist on hanging around? Hmmmm?"

You were furious now. This wasn't worth it. "YOU PI-" Suddenly, you find your mouth zipped up again.

Discord frowned "what a terrible father I've been. it's only been ten minutes and I haven't been able to teach you a single lesson. How am I supposed to impress Fluttershy when my own flesh and blood refuses to behave."

Suddenly, your anger partially subsides the moment he says "Fluttershy". That was one of the ponies you wanted to meet! Well yeah duh. of course Discord knows her.

You struggle to free yourself from the clothes pins. You succeed. And fall face first into the grass were getting real tired of falling about at this point. Discord took out his teary eyed eyeballs and rubbed them like glasses with a cloth. "I can't just start over either. I've already grown quite attached to this little colt."

As you try to unzip your mouth with your hooves. You suddenly find yourself flying like a dart right into Discord's side. And just sticking there. You just let your hooves hang as you look ahead, annoyed.

"Why, I probably could have gotten points with my other friends too. I bet even Twilight, as self centered and snooty as she can be, would find me being a good father worthy of praise....and perhaps a chair in her castle."

You couldn't tell if he was being sincere. But it did seem that he planned on showing you off to the Mane 6. You did want to meet them. You sigh. If you kept struggling. You might either get sent back home...or worse. But if you played along, you'd be able to meet long as Discord wasn't rusing you. You made your choice.

You thought for a moment. Until you just decided to wrap your hooves around him and give him a hug. It was the only way you could display complying with him. Discord stopped his words, and curled about to look at you, hugging him. "Anon...are you....hugging me?"

You slowly nod as you continue your nuzzling. Discord smiled. "Does that mean....I'm doing a good job?" You nod again. "Does...that make me the best father...ever?" You hesitate....and then slowly nod.

"SPLENDID" Discord yelled as he grabs you and hugs you back before throwing you up into the air as he appears in a school cap and gown, a diploma in his hand as fanfare can be heard.

You however, fall flat on your face again. You just quickly lift your head to shake off your pain.
Suddenly the extra garbs on Discord disappears as he picks you up, unzips your mouth, and brushes you off with the end of his tail. he then puts you down and pats your head. "There we are, good as new. Now then, shall we continue our lessons Anon?"

You gulped as your eyes went wide.Nooooooope. You turn to Discord, giving him a nervous smile, as you shiver. "a-actually Dis-d...ahrm..Dad.."

"Dad", that did sound better, You were going to try to appeal to his better sense. Whatever that was. And try not to get into something that won't kill you. "...M-maybe we can do something else?"

"Something else? hmmmm" Discord tapped his chin. "Wellll...Something else does sound better than something as boring as "learning". I'm sure we can figure things out as we go. I mean" Discord chuckled "It's not as if we only have one life to live...right?"

You gulped, but agreed with him. Just agree with him. That was the plan. Stick to that plan.
Discord started pacing "now then...something else, something else. Well...hrn...being the good father that I am. I should help you get some friends. Can't live in Ponyville, the VERY epicenter of friendship, without some friends."

Ahhh shit, this was it. You jumped in place and threw out a suggestion. "Pinkie Pie! How about we meet Pinkie Pie and I become friends with her!"


"Pinkie Pie? hrnn. No no, as your father I have to make sure you have friends your own age"

"B-but. She's friends to everypony! of all ages! P-" You stop yourself. you weren't about to say "please" again. You wanted to retain some of your dignity.

Discord again patted your head. This time, it felt condescending "Anon please, I've seen the contents of your computer,"

You blush red, ahh shit. So he knows. Goddammit, It's not like you just wanted to fuck Pinkie and the others right then and there. It was just porn. You valued friendship. You know you did.

"a-a-a-hm. C-come on, that's know....what were the chances of me actually coming here..and know..a guy...has're a guy right? I are...right Dad?"

Discord nodded "Of course I am. And I understand wholeheartedly, That's why I decided to actually comply with your little request"

You took a double take. Did he suddenly change his mind...well yeah duh...of course. He's Discord. He's never final on anything. "Seriously? We can go see Pinkie?!" You were excited.

"But of course!" Discord snapped his fingers as a portal opened behind you. You heard it, and turned around with a smile before you could see what lied beyond it.

Tentacles, tons of them. and They were just slithering and jutting about. a few seemed to have noticed you, and slowly started to reach out of the Portal. Reaching for you. You yelp and crawl backwards away from the portal and into Discord


Discord snickered "Well we are.....after we get acquainted with these tentacles first. I saw one of your folders filled with these and figured you wanted to make friends with them. Since they're on the way and all....or...we could just have you meet some friends your own age. I'll let you pick. And I'd hurry. These tentacles are *extra* friendly"

One of them manage to latch onto a hind leg as it slowly drags you into the portal. Due to your hooves, you can't grab onto anything. You just yell, and agree again with Discord.

Then suddenly, the tentacles and portal disappear as the world shifts around you. You get a little dizzy and you try to compose yourself as you suddenly find yourself in front of the....CMC clubhouse? " on"

"Why not Anon? there's three of them. Three whole chances to make friends. And you don't even have a cutie mark. A perfect candidate for their silly little club"

Yeah they were cute. But oh no. Actually dealing with the ACTUAL CMC who get into ACTUAL trouble and even ACTUAL mortal danger that with you in the equation might lead to ACTUAL death? Also, they were kind of annoying with their single minded quest to earn a cutie mark. Something you weren't exactly running first in line to get. Since it seemed pointless to you.

"Come on, Dad. You've been around them. You know I'm not an actual kid. I'm a mature, intelligent adult."

Suddenly, Discord burst into laughter at those words. You look at him, annoyed "Hey, What's so funny!?"

Discord wiped a tear from his eye "Oh, everything with that statement was simply hilarious! Especially the "mature" part. You might be able to top the element of laughter herself if you keep that up!"

"Hey I am mature! I'm-" But you get cut off by another load of guffaws from the Draconequus.

"I am! I-..ahh......" You frown, as your ears lower. "...forget it"

It was clear he didn't care that he insulted your pride. were right, right? You weren't some whiny manchild. Right? You look at Discord again, whose laughter was still pouring out of him.

You couldn't win. Even if you could beat him in words. He'd just shut you up or threaten you with magic. Was this really the price for happiness? Was this happiness? You always thought Discord was a cool character. But actually meeting wasn't what you expected.
Suddenly, you hear a southern young voice behind the door of the clubhouse.

"Is somepony out there?"

You gulp, That...that had to be Applebloom. She must of heard Discord laughing.

You turn to him to try to get him to teleport you out of there...but...He was suddenly gone.
The door suddenly opens, and there she was. Big bow and all. You immediately started sweating profusely. Nervous.

"Oh heya! Ah never seen ya around before!"

Chapter 2

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Oh holy christ on a stick. It's Applebloom. The REAL Applebloom. Damn your degeneracy. You found her remarkably adorable now that you got to see her personally. But NOPE… NOPE… NOPPPEEE.

You know the hell you'd have to endure if you became a CMC. You had to act chill, and not draw attention to your blank flank. Yeah, you could do this. You were one smooth


You say nothing, you are too nervous. Real Smooth.

Applebloom tilted her head in confusion "Hey? Ya alright? ..hrn"

Applebloom was confused. She wasn't expecting company. She was getting the clubhouse cleaned up from an earlier adventure. And now suddenly you were there. a colt she's never seen. In a place you wouldn't have heard about....unless..

"Umm.. Ya got a name… Are ya alright?" Applebloom asked curiously, as she slowly began to move around you. Scanning you, looking to see if you have a certain mark.

You step back. She seemed awfully curious. You couldn't let her see your side. But you had no idea how to talk to her.

"hr...Wait, hey fella, WAIT!" Applebloom suddenly freaked out and reached her hoof towards you
But alas, you fall off from where the clubhouse is and fall face first into the ground. You were beginning to wonder if you were growing an immunity to this.

However, it was a pretty hard hit. You find yourself heavily dazed and it's difficult to stand.
Applebloom rushed down towards you "Gee whilikers! You coulda gotten really hurt! Are ya alright?"

You try to compose yourself. you have double vision. "Y-yeah..just sorta tripped..eheh"

"Fallin' is more like it. are ya lost? I've never seen ya before. Did you just roll on in to Ponyville?" Applebloom said as she checked to see if you were alright.

It was probably the hit on the head...again. But you weren't as nervous as before. "You can say something like that..ugh" You rub your head.

"I guess you can say I just "dropped" in, haha" You chuckle at your own silly pun. But Applebloom isn't laughing. She's suddenly silent. You turn to see what she is looking at. And you notice her eyes are on your flank. And it wasn't for sexy reasons.

"Hey! ya don't got your cutie mark either, huh?" Applebloom exclaimed

You sniff as your pupils shrink, ohhhh goooooooood lord. "N-no..." You turn towards her and again, begin to back up

"Then ya really are at the right place! I'm Applebloom, and this here is the headquarters for the CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!"

You cringe at her sudden yell. Why did she have to do that?

Applebloom was getting excited "We're always looking for new members! and yer exa-huh?"

You raise your hoof towards her face, it's a little shaky. can't let this go further. You were nervous alright. This wasn't part of your plan. You felt if you ended up as a CMC. You would be taken less seriously by the mane 6. And again, Being a CMC was dangerous as hell.

"L-look, I'm not interested in joining. I'm fine as is.I don't really care about getting a cutie mark, alright?"

Applebloom's eyes widened at those words. "WHAAA?! NOT CARE ABOUT GETTIN' YER CUTIE MARK?! YA GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME!"

Crap, you made her even more excited. It looked like she was about to lecture you. You take a breath. "ahh, wait. I meant. you know, at the moment. Look, I was just trying to find Ponyville. Can you point me to it?"

But Applebloom was still stunned. What a turn of events. Good grief. "I can't let ya go to town with a attitude like that! Every pony needs to do their best to get their cutie mark! Ya clearly ended up here for a reason!"

oh come on…

You shook your head "what? Look, I only ended up here because I...I lost. I just wanna get int-WHAAA!"

Suddenly she grabs your hooves somehow and starts dragging you up into the clubhouse. "I gotta get ya in the clubhouse immediately! agh, ah wish Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were here! This here's an emergency!"

No! nooo! You can't be dragged in there! You fought hard to break whatever grip she had on you. The horrors that could happen could be anything. More lecturing, entrapment, oh god...she might even break into a song and dance number.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" You weren't very strong for an earth pony. Or a male. You couldn't break free.

She manages to push you into the clubhouse and closes the door behind you, and sits in front of it. Before you could gather your thoughts or mount an escape. She starts speaking to you. "There we go, safe and sound!"

"Safe and what? Look...why did you drag me up here? realize you just kid-coltnapped me right?"

Applebloom seemed to be sitting in place, as if she was guarding the door. Perhaps that's what she was doing. "Ah did no such thing, I just brought ya in here to break the mind control."

Mind...control? you cocked an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"

"As serious as a parasprite on fire! ya can't even say yer name and yer actin' all weird, definitely mind control."

Of all the hair brained… You sigh heavily, aggravated. "Look, I'm not under any kind of mind control. And my name is Anon. See? I know my name. Now how about letting me out of here?"

Applebloom tilted her head again "Anon? That doesn't seem like a real name to me"

NOT A REAL NAME?! You gave her a stink eye as you fluffed up your chest and gave it a pat
"It is a real name! It is the name of a real! I meant Stallion!..eheh"

Applebloom tapped her lower muzzle "Anon...Anon....nope, never heard of ANYPONY with a name close to that. Are ya sure that's yer real name?"

You coughed, you were really starting to feel as if everything about you was truly insignificant. "yeah it's my real is a real name ,you know"

Applebloom shrugged "I guess maybe that's why yer lost then, ya must be one of them exotic livin types that live far far away. I guess they don't really care about cutie marks from...uhhh...wherever ya'll are from." Well, she wasn't wrong about that

You brush yourself off "Something like, how about letting me go, huh?"

Applebloom shook her head "I ain't budging, ah don't know exactly where ya from. But I can't let ya go to Ponyville the way ya are now. Some fillies there, ya know, are really mean to ponies like us. We gotta stick together!"

huhm....she must mean Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. A noble sentiment. But you could handle a bunch of schoolyard bitches.

You try to walk past her. "I appreciate the concern, But I can take care of-" She won't move "ya mind? I'm telling you I can handle it." Applebloom shook her head

You were starting to lose your patience. "Listen! I don't need a cutie mark to do super awesome things like most ponies do. I'm fine as I am right now. It's not your responsibility to worry about me. alright? Let me...through!" But she didn't budge.

She could remember how easily Babs fell prey to them when she first showed. And someone such as you seem like they could be potentially screwed over a million times over.

You raise a hoof to her threateningly. "I will beat you! So help me. I will!"

Applebloom frowned, and began to falter

“Wh-what?...y-you'd really do that? ah was....ah was only tryin' to help. Things c-could really go bad for ya if you think the way ya are thinking..." Applebloom frowned from your sudden burst of threats

...Oh crap. you didn't mean to do that. You thought she'd maybe just move. Not pull out something like that. You couldn't give in. Not to her cuteness, and not to her reasoning and good will.

"Ah...mmmm" You lower your hoof. "...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. I'm not used to being..umm..around these parts."

"Ah noticed. Ahm sorry about being forceful. I just thought I could help ya out at least. Ya know, show ya around. We could even meet some of the good natured ponies of Ponyville."

"I appreciate it b-...wait. Did you say show me around Ponyville?"

Applebloom nodded "'course ah did. ya would get lost without a tour guide like myself" she gave you a wider smile as the conversation continued, seemingly in her favor.

"Tour guide? Heh, that sounds like another way to get a cutie mark" Applebloom says nothing, she just smiles at the prospect.

...right… That's probably exactly it.

Applebloom was already raring to go "....and then maybe, when we're done. You could be-"

You hold your hoof up to her again, you could see where this was going. "Stop right there. Ain't gonna happen."

Applebloom gave you big sad eyes "Ya would think about it though right? It's not everyday a colt our age shows up without a cutie mark. We could always use new members."

Her pitch was pushy and lousy. No doubt she was pushing as it'd increase the odds of getting a cutie mark and she'd make a new friend in the process. You also began to wonder if Discord was watching or if he fucked off somewhere. You closed your eyes and took a small breath. What harm would it be to tell her you'd think about it?

"Fine, I'll keep it in my thoughts. I mean, I could probably change my mind later. right?"
Applebloom nodded profusely, already getting excited at the thought and wanting to tell her friends immediately.

"Ok then… About that tour." Applebloom then held out her hoof. You stared at it.

"...o...k. Why are you doing that?"

Applebloom giggled. "It's a hoofshake silly, ya know. Because we're friends now."

You put your hoof to your forehead. Holy shit you forgot how quickly friendship can work in pastel colored horse land. "Look I-ah?!"

Suddenly you found yourself bringing your hoof to Applebloom's and giving it a quick shake. "a-ah-ah"

Applebloom smiled. She now had made a new friend in you. Meanwhile you didn't even have to guess what happened. You muttered under your breath "Discord..."

Suddenly, the moment you do. Everything turns dark blue and freezes in place. even Applebloom. You are immediately startled and step back. "o-oh crap. What's going on now?!" You turn left and right, and suddenly. you hear a voice.

"Come now Anon, I was just used to you calling me dad. You could also call me father or daddy if you like." It was him. You looked around to see where he was at

"Where are you?!" You turn to see a picture of the CMC. But something was odd. Applebloom's eyes were yellow and red. Instead of the shade of blues you found yourself in.

You sighed. "I know you're in the picture...Dad. Basic stuff. You gotta do better than that." The Applebloom in the picture made a grumpy face at you. It was him.

"My my, what a party pooper. And here I thought me and Applebloom could catch you offguard" Him and appl-what?

"What do you mean you and Applebloom" The Discord eyes shifted to Scootaloo, giving it new life as he just shrugged

"Oh nothing, just thought I'd incorporate Applebloom into this"

Into this? Into what? You turn to look at the frozen Applebloom. But the moment you do, she's suddenly in your face. Colored red. Her eyes Black as coal with beady red pupils and her smile wide with jagged teeth. You turn snow white and fall back with a yell, bringing yourself to the wall. However, the moment you look back. She's back, frozen in her original position.

Discord laughs as you breath heavily from fright.


"No? I certainly thought it was. I don't get to do that often. If I tried that on any other pony. Well...Heart attacks can happen. Good to know you're made of thicker stuff, Anon." Discord chuckled

You gulp, your voice low

"You're crazy...." you say in a shaky voice.

Discord chortles as he hops out of the picture. Slowly changing back into his original form. He then begins to curl around you.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." He gently dragged his fingered talon under your neck. "Can't you see you just hit your first milestone?"

First milestone? You move your head away from his talon as you realize he has you in a firm yet gentle and warm grip with his body. It was kind of soothing after such a scare. "What do you mean?"

Discord tapped your head "Think Anon, what did you just do?"

"...Almost die?"

Discord sighed and knocked on your head "No my dear son, I mean with Applebloom"

You… simply couldn't connect the dots.

"I'll give you a clue, it starts with an F and ends in..." Before he finished his sentence. He snapped his fingers. Causing a boat to smash through one side of the clubhouse and exit the other. "...ship"

That was...pretty neat actually. Must be getting used to his tamer tricks. Also...It just hit you. " mean...wait a second. I didn't do that! You did!"

"Oh, why must you always get so snippy with the details. The important thing is the outcome, isn't it?"

"But I didn't want to be her friend...I..." You stopped. Aside from perceiving her as a danger. She didn't seem all that bad. Just upon your first meeting she cared about your well being. You've seen that trait on the show itself. But, experiencing first hand. Thinking back on it now…


Discord's smile widened "hrn? Oh, my adorable son. Is that a change of heart I sense? Let's see" Discord was suddenly holding a heart in his paw "Oh did change"

Nooooo... That wasn't... "IS THAT?! IS THAT..MY HEART?! AHH?! AHHH!!!!" You struggle to get your hooves out of Discord's grip so you could put them on your chest to find a heartbeat

Discord chuckles "Anon, relax. it's only a problem if....oh look. It stopped beating..ahh yes, it does need bloodflow and all that to stay pumping, right?"

You turned white and fell forward back into his fur as you gurgled.

Discord scoffed as he snapped the heart away, back to it's original place "Really Anon, You're embarrassing yourself. You should be happy. You made your first friend!"

You start taking deep breaths as you feel your blood pumping again. ".....You..nearly"

Discord knocked on your head, it stung a little. "Stay on point Anon, I'm trying to congratulate you on a job well done."

Again, you feel a bout of anger as your strength returns. But you still can't break his grip. "You forced it on me! Do you know how annoying it is going to be for me now that's she's my "friend"? "

Discord used his magic to bring the frozen filly close to you and points to her face "But look Anon, are you going to tell me you would crush her feelings simply over some silly notion of being an adult? Because we already know how *snort* how much nonsense that is, don't we? Hehehe."

You started to get frustrated. There he goes again. Just because he made you young didn't mean you were a kid! "I'm not a kid! I am a fully grown human adult that you changed for some stupid reason!"

"Stupid? Well..maybe. But humans themselves are pretty stupid to begin with. You think so right? That's one of the reasons you wanted to come here sooooo badly...isn't it?"

"I...ah..." You kept your mouth shut. He was right. You weren't very happy living on Earth.

"Mhmm, well. Then, doing stupid things isn't so bad sometimes Anon. Well, at least for me it's not. But that's more of the fact that I'm the best. As for you, I'm merely trying to be a good father after all, you may have been an adult before. But as it stands, you're a kid now...MY kid."

HIS KID?! You really were more like his plaything. How dare he! He can't do this to you! But before you could make another retort. He was gone, and you and applebloom were back in your original positions. But everything was still frozen in time.

"....hrmmm" With nothing to say, and only a matter of time before...well...time resumes. You decide to examine Applebloom's expression. She happy. Really? Was something so simple enough to make her grin like that? You haven't even known her for....well. You've only known her for a short length of time. She's pretty friendly to begin with and being cutie markless makes you a damned target regardless for her little club. Just looking at that beaming smile though. itkind of made you feel warm. Which was good because it let you know your heart was working.

But...hrn. You were sure you were still adult capable. Discord is just super old and powerful. Everyone would be a kid to him. That had to be it. As for Applebloom, well, it's too late anyway. Time to grit your teeth and bare it. Besides, it made her happy. And It might not be so bad.

And with that, color started to return to the room. As time began to resume.

Chapter 3

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And as if time was never stuck. Applebloom continued exactly where she left off. "And ahm glad you chose Cutie Mark Crusader Tours! Which just opened today!"

"Yeah… Lucky me" You gave her a sarcastic tone, but there was a hint of amusement. Since you're stuck between either this or more chaotic nonsense. You might as well play the part of "new friend"...even if the hoofshake was forced upon you. "Ahrm… Lead the way, miss Applebloom"

"Ahh shucks, ya don't have to call me miss. Just Applebloom is fine"

...Ok. You guessed she wasn't being fully professional about this apparently. "Ahh, yeah..ahrm..hrn"

Well, you might as well be nicer. You wanted to come to Equestria to be nicer. Have companionship and friendship. And have super awesome adventures. And Applebloom was going to be the best training you were gonna get. The ultimate crash designed by Discord.

"I think I'm really going to enjoy this tour." You just throw in some nice words as Applebloom turns to exit the clubhouse. You could swear you saw her smile a bigger smile when she heard your words.

"Glad ya think so! Because there’s ALOT to cover. Of course ya know this is the official Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse. The next stop is Sweet Apple Acres, where yer gonna meet a bona fide Element of Harmony...MUH SISTER!"

....Ohhh....Oh damn. You couldn't really get excited about meeting Applejack. Well maybe a little since you were gonna meet her in person. And if you can get in with her. The others would be a throws stone a way.

"Can't wait! Oh man, super awesomely excited to meet the famous and most forefront of the elements,Applejack! She's one of my favorites, you know?" Christ… What a lie that was. You forced yourself to sound really ecstatic about that.

Applebloom turned to you with a grin as she led you out and towards the farm. "Wow, usually a lot of ponies just talk about Twilight due to her being a princess and all. Not a lot of ponies ever talk about my sister."

"Oh yeah, the whole Apple family thing. Totally into it. I heard the ones in Ponyville were the best. So it's actually an honor to have a tour of Ponyville from you, Applebloom"

Applebloom did a jumping spin hearing that. "Wow, now I kinda feel like a big cele-..wait" Applebloom realized something. "Ya...ya didn't seem excited to meet me before."

QUICK! COUNTER LIE! KONAMI CODE! DO IT! "Oh..oh well. I was just nervous. I'm just a normal colt compared to you all. I mean, I've even heard of a few cool exploits about the main members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Really really caught me off guard."

Applebloom's excitement piqued. "Wow! What have ya heard about us Anon? Really neat stuff, right?"

..Oh...uhh shit. You weren't really big on CMC episodes. Usually it was them just fucking up really bad. There had to be an episode where they did something useful. Uhhh… "Well....uhhmnn...uha.."

Applebloom slowed down, she seemed to notice that you may have been lying. Or was starting to. You had to come up with something.

"Uhh....uh like..umm..That..oh yeah. That Troubleshoes. I heard you and your friends managed to clear his name of all those crimes and stuff. That's uhh....amazing"

Applebloom seemed confused by those words. It did happen. But worthy of spread? Well, at least you didn't seem to hear about the part where Applejack royally punished them afterwards. She tried to save face. "That was us, we couldn't let him be seen as a criminal, he just wasn't the type. He was a really good pony"

You nod in agreeance. He was a good guy from what you saw. You wondered if she suspected anything. As you also remember her getting royally punished by Applejack. You thought it might put a dent in the "legend". But it seemed to have worked.

As you both approached the farm, You and Applebloom could see the home near the center. Granny Smith was rocking back and forth on a rocking chair. Applebloom waved to her. "Hey Granny Smith!"

There she was. The real Granny Smith. Looking somehow more wrinkly in
the both of you approached her as Applebloom started to spout some facts about the farm and her family. Stuff you already knew. You just nodded in agreeance.

"....and this here is Granny Smith. One of the wisest ponies of all Equestri-oh...she fell asleep again. "

Oh god… Did you arrive just in time for her to die from old age? She seemed kind of unmoving. "Is she alright?"

Applebloom walked up to her and gave her a small shake with her hoof. "Granny Smith? Ya alright?"

Granny Smith took a deep snorting breath before slowly opening her eyes and looking down at Applebloom. she smiled at her "Applebloom? Oh hello dearie, are ya getting all yer chores done?" Applebloom giggled.

"Already got em done, Hey Granny Smith. Ah want ya to meet Anon. He's new around Ponyville!"

She pointed to you. You just gave a small nervous smile and waved. But then you noticed Granny Smith's expression suddenly become dark and sharp as she darts like a rocket and tackles you. "STAY AWAY FROM APPLEBLOOM YA VARMIT!"


You covered your face as she wound up her hoof. Applebloom called out "Granny Smith! What are ya doin’?! Why are ya attacking Anon?"

"Anon..hmmm..mmm?" Granny Smith stopped to take a better look at you. You were shaking in fear, Your eyes closed, as to not see impending death. "...Well what do ya know, yer just a small colt. Coulda sworn you were a vicious bear about to gobble up little Applebloom here"


You didn't say a word, you were speechless, you just took a quick peek as you saw her slowly get off of you and suddenly have trouble standing as she wiped you off with a shaking hoof. "Awful sorry there young fella, ah didn't mean to give ya such a fright. but I still got some of that olllllllleeee maternal instinct in me, heh heh, yup, like a cat."

You just laid there. Staring.

"Well don't just lay there sonny, what? Ya act like ya never been taken down by a lady of my particular type before." Granny said.

Applebloom giggled, seeing the danger was over "Ah don't think he ever has. Are ya alright Granny Smith? Never seen ya do that before."

"Oh I'm alright, just was trying to get some more rest on mah chair after pulling an all nighter. And yer sister thought I couldn't get the work done." Granny Smith flexed her feeble leg as Applebloom giggled again.

"Well, more like she just tried to stop ya from working and get ya into bed. But ya did amazing Granny Smith. It was like you were younger last night." Applebloom praised

“Welllllll, that's because yer only as young as ya feel and-ohhh!" Suddenly a small snap in her back is heard. "And ah feel a little older than usual, just gonna get back on mah chair here and count some sheep....Anon, ya still on the ground?"

You were. Ugh, you were still in a stupor from the pounce. You recomposed yourself quickly and stood up. "Sorry..was still surprised..umm..from...that."

Granny Smith plopped herself back onto her chair and started rocking "Well next time ya gotta dodge better, back in my day. We were all as quick as a whip and strong to boot. Hrnn.." Granny Smith narrowed her eyes and looked at you. "Kinda bony for somepony so young… ehhhmm… Applebloom, why don't ya take him to the kitchen and get em somethin' to eat. He looks like he hasn't eaten in days."

Hey! What was wrong with the way you looked?! It's better than your human form.

Applebloom saluted "Alright! you get some rest Grann- ..oh"

She was already asleep.

Applebloom smiled at her and turned to you. "Well ya heard her. Let's get ya somethin' to eat. You do look kind of skinny, come on!"

Applebloom walked inside as you slowly followed. Suddenly, as you pass Granny Smith. You hear her mumble. "Anon..mnn...Anon..what kinda name is Anon? Never...mnnn..heard that before..Sounds silly to me..nmm"

Great… She's asleep and yet still able to criticize your name. You'd be more upset. But you were about to have some ACTUAL home cooking instead of microwave shit. It was actually sort of enticing. Especially since you knew the Apples could cook. Well, you knew Applejack and Granny Smith could. Now you kind of had to hope Applejack was inside to ask for some of her cooking, lest you get stuck with Applebloom's.

Chapter 4

View Online

You're inside. Wow, it really isn't much different from a human home other than the fact it's part of the barn. Aside from a few odd knick knacks and everything seeming lower to the ground. You couldn't fully tell, being so small yourself. And, with either an extreme amount of luck. Or just the fact YOU ARE in their home. You spot Applejack. And the scent of something deliciously sweet.

"Howdy Applejack! How're ya doin'?" Applebloom said with a positive vigor. Applejack turned, smiling, and having noticed her extra positive attitude in her voice. She knew she was cleaning the clubhouse not too long ago after another day of failing to get a cutie mark. And, it seemed...she was making some food...something apple related.

"Howdy Applebloom, Good to see my little sister in a chipper mood. Because you're gonna get really excited when you see what we're havin' for dinner later" Applejack said with an eager smile

She took a sniff, you yourself were still sniffing. It smelled so sweet. "Smells like Apple Pie, but uhm, hrn. Somethin's smells extra delicious about it. Whatcha put in it sis?"

Applejack smirked "Oh not much, seems we had a little too much Zap Apple jam. And since it's so close to harvesting time. Granny Smith and I thought dessert should have a little more of a kick to it. Gotta say, I'm more excited than a...oh, hey there young fella..." She finally noticed you.

Oh geez, you don't say anything. You just wave. You didn't want to get into a conversation with her. You didn't actually know much about anything apple related. Despite your lies.

Applejack slowly wandered over to Applebloom. Keeping her eyes on you. "New friend Applebloom? or a new recruit for your club?"

"Just a new friend, he's well....He doesn't wanna be a Cutie Mark Crusader. He says he doesn't really care about Cutie Marks." This seemed to have caught Applejack off guard

"Don't care about Cutie Marks?!" She turns to you "Is that true? Ya really don't care about them?"

Oh geez, really? Does it have to be this big a deal? "It-it's not that I don't care. It's just... Ya know… I think I could be good at what I want if I try… And uh. Well, I don't even think I could get one really" You really didn't. You weren't sure how artificial your body really was.

"Hmmnnn..." Applejack gave you a cold hard stare, she was quite astonished by that answer. "That's gotta be the most backwards thing I ever heard. Every pony strives to learn what their special talent is." She grabs her hat and put it on her chest as she looks up proudly "Everypony deserves their cutie mark. To help them through their lives by letting them know what they're destiny is, ya hear?"

Oh god, that sounded like garbage to you. "Look, I just don't see why I need one.. I-I mean… Right now."

Crap, no no no no. You didn't want to get into this. It's a stupid argument you know you'd never win because either there'd be an episode tier intervention or multiple dance numbers explaining why they are important.

Applejack gave you a short silent stare, and then pulled you close for a small hug "Poor fella, I can't imagine what would make ya think such a thing."


You tensed up, blushing. Applejack, still hugging you, looked to Applebloom "Where'd he come from?"

"Dunno, I kinda met him a little bit ago. his name is Anon. Ya ever hear of a name like that sis?"

AppleJack shook her head "Can't say that I have. Must be an out of towner" She released you from her grip. You had to take several deep breaths to compose yourself.

"....uhhhh...are ya alright?" Applejack was confused by your reaction


"Anon, are ya alright?" Applebloom grew concerned too. She never seen anypony react like you do.

She was so warm. The first embrace you had was from a pony you weren't too fond of. And yet, it was so warm and cozy. You had a little trouble recovering as you had a goofy smile on your face. "I'm..I'm fine. Just uhhh… Haha. Thought of something funny. Haha"

Applebloom and Applejack were confused deeply from your reaction. "Wow...Granny Smith was right. Yer actin' really strange. Probably from hunger." Applebloom turned towards her sister "Hey Applejack! Can we have a little of that pie?"

Applejack shook her head "No can do, that there pie is for dinner. But if anon is actin' all weird from hunger...that kinda makes me wonder about his parents. Hey Anon, where's yer mother and father at?"

Oh crap. that sobers you up instantly. What do you tell them?! Do you tell them about Discord? Because eventually they'd learn about it. Maybe it's best to tell them you're adopted for now. But not mention who adopted you.

You immediately put on a mopey face. If you were indeed gonna play the lost abandoned little pone. You might as well act like it. "Well… I don't have one… Sorta. I have a dad now..."

You look down, but raise your eyes to look at their faces. You can see Applebloom suddenly come to a horrific realization while Applejack seemed to be entering some maternal mode.

Applejack inched closer to you, her voice becoming sad and somber. "Anon… Ya don't mean..."

You tried to make your voice squeakier and sad. You forced it, but couldn't get tears out. "Y-yeah… I'm an orphan..."

And with that both Applebloom and Applejack suddenly hug onto you. Welp, This was as close to girls you figured you we're going to get. And now you not only had their favor. But you were sure Applebloom and Applejack would back off about the cutie mark business.

"Ahm sorry Anon. I hope I didn't upset you" Applejack said, a tear rolling down her eye as she thought of her own parents.

"I-it's fine… You guys are really nice. If I were to have sisters, you two would be it."

"Ahh Anon. If ya ever need a pony to talk to, ya come see me whenever, alright?" Applebloom said.

"Same here Anon, yer always welcome here at Sweet Apple Acres. If ya ever want to talk. We'll be here" Applejack added.

Well well… That was easy. It's not like you completely lied. But not only should they lay off, knowing how "sensitive" you now are.

"Thanks girls, you're all really nice. But.." You now could feel a small pain enveloping your stomach. "Do you mind if I get a small bite to eat. I'm kind of hungry."

Applejack wiped a tear from her eye and nodded. "Sure thing Anon, I'll whip ya up something quick,delicious, and nutritious."

While Applejack went to make something for you. Applebloom backed up and looked at you with saddened eyes "Ya got somethin' to eat at home too, right Anon?"

Did you? Did Discord even know you had to eat food? Hopefully he did. You gave a careful nod. "I think I do. My new Dad hasn't shown me my new home yet. But I think there's food there."

"Ya think? Anon..uhmm..well..first of all, who's your dad? Ah can't think of anypony in Ponyville who was adopting. Can you Applejack?"

Applejack shook her head as she started getting ingredients for some sort of sandwich. One being, of course, apples. "Can't say I heard of anypony looking to adopt, I'm interested in who yer new dad is too to be honest"

...Oh joy, they wanna know. What do you tell them? Because the moment you say Discord. a shitstorm is going to start. What were you going to do?

Lie of course. The only pony you could think of who'd probably see this as a positive is Fluttershy and possibly Pinkie Pie. The rest would see this as an awful idea… especially if they delved further into the truth of dimensional shenanigans.

"Well, I… actually haven't met him yet. That's why I kinda got lost. It's my first time he-"

"Hold on a second, are ya telling us you traveled all the way from wherever ya from to Ponyville all by your lonesome and this dad of yours didn't even have the decency to go get you himself?" Applejack seemed awfully upset by your remark. Time to....lie some more.

"W-well uhh....You know, kind of how my orphanage works. They uhhmmnn… Give you the bits to travel to your home and your new family picks you up. I guess I sorta couldn't find the pickup point. Ahaha.."

"And...where exactly is the orphanage you're from at?" Applejack inquired.

You never seen Phillydelphia...but if it was anything like Philadelphia… "Phillydelphia..?"

Both of the sisters let out a "oooooooooohhhhh...that kind of makes sense" ...Oh good lord. You were right. How bad that place actually is. You'd rather never find out. Time to finish this up.

"Yeah so ummm..I guess I should go to the...umn..train station...haha..wherever that is. After a bite to eat. Don't wanna keep him waiting."

They both nodded in agreeance as Applejack turned to her younger sister "Applebloom, ya don't mind escorting Anon to the train station do ya?"

Applebloom shook her head "Nope, I'd be happy to show him, it'll be fun, right Anon?"

Right Anon? Wait..escort?! Oh geez… This was turning out to be against your favor. If you and her got there and there was no father… or worse. Then questions would be raised. "No no, it'll be fine. I can get there by myself."

Applebloom looked to you "But Anon, do you even know where the train station is at?"

...No… you didn't. "Sorta yeah. It'll be fine, I promise."

"Ok. But… what about that tour?"

"Tomorrow...I just kind of want to get the lay of the land on my own first before I get overwhelmed with all this new information." Applebloom frowned, she reeeeeeeeallly wanted to show you around today.

"But but, don't y-" Suddenly she gets cut off by Applejack as she puts down a plate of rather delicious apple sandwiches with a glass of milk to the side.

"Now Applebloom, don't go overloading the poor colt just because you want yer cutie mark. There is always tomorrow, you know? Here you are, Anon. Enjoy."

You slowly walked over to your meal… How were you supposed to pick up the glass? You know in the cartoon sometimes they could lift things with their hooves rather than their mouths. Ugh, why couldn't Discord make you a unicorn?

Applejack went back to tending the pie and dinner as Applebloom watched you eat. Interested on why you were having trouble with your food.

You look over to her, feeling a little creeped out. "uhm...what are you doing?"

"Watchin' ya eat. It looks like yer havin trouble there"

Trouble?! Pleeeeeeease. You were smart. It'd only take you a mere moment to learn how to do this right. But for now you were fine with dragging the sandwich to the edge of the plate and lowering yourself to take a bite. "I'm doing fine… This is just how we eat in Phillydelphia."

Applebloom raised an eyebrow "Wow...that's pretty weird. Weirder than some of the stories ah heard about that city"

"Yeah well, that's how it goes."

"You really wanna go on that tour right? Tomorrow? Because ah could arrange me and my friends to do an even bigger and better tour if ya want, but ya gotta be ready for it tomorrow, we'll be waiting at the clubhouse." Single minded...just like in the show. And just as annoying.

"Yeah, I got it. I'll be there… Can I eat without you staring at me… please?"

Applebloom nodded "Alright...but you're definitely coming?" You nodded, trying to hide your annoyance. "You ain't going to forget?"

Your eye twitched, you passively growled "No."

Applebloom smiled, ignorant to your feelings "Ok!" She began to walk off to leave you alone, then stopped and turned to look at you "In the mornin' right?"

Your eye twitched. How many times did you have to say yes?! AND WHY WAS EATING SO HARD?! NO MATTER WHAT YOU TRY. YOU CAN'T GET YOUR HOOVES TO STICK TO THE DAMN CUP. "Yes..."

Before finally leaving. She sat on her butt on the ground. Giving you a deep stare as she slowly brought her hooves together half way and gave them a slight turn in opposite directions. Then gave you a happy wave and walked off. The hell did that mean?

You looked at the cup… You tried the motion on the cup. You managed to lift it with ease. "....oh..."

With that, you finish your meal and bid a farewell to the Apple family, or to the ones who were present. You now made your exit and made your way towards the train station… Or at least the way you'd think it'd be given the layout of the town in the show. You just hoped Discord would show up before you got there. You didn't want to sit alone in an unfamiliar place.

"ok Anon. You gotta remember. You're from Phillydelphia now. gotta remember that," Suddenly, you hear a familiar voice in your head.

"Really now Anon. The idea was to befriend Applejack’s little sister. Now you've gone and made a mess. And what's worse, you told a bunch of naughty lies."

Ahhh crap… He was watching the whole time. You kept your pace, and started talking to the air.
"I didn't really expect to end up at the farm. Besides, could you imagine the chaos there'd be if they found out the truth?"

"Oh it wouldn't be that bad. an argument here, a rant there. I'm quite used to it by now. Though, you now gave me a great cover story to tell Twilight when I present you to her."

"Well that’s good I gues-… Wait…" Present? "What do you mean by that?"

"Haha, well you see. I just can't have a colt by my side without there being a commotion. If I bring you to my very good friend and princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle. Then everything else will move rather smoothly. Or… Things could go sour. Though, I do admit I also want to see her bust a few brain cells trying to rationalize my actions in the first place. You may have seen it from your little television screen, but seeing her have a breakdown in person Anon, it's absolutely hilarious. You'll have fun. Promise"

You actually gave it some thought. "So, you aren't going to tell her you plucked me from another universe?"

"Heavens no, that would just raise far too many questions that I simply don't have the time to answer. Her ridiculous reaction at just the idea of adoption shall suffice."

You chuckled a little. It sounds like you'd be in the clear. And you kind of wanted to see Twilight freak out. No, you just really wanted to see it. She's been on that pedestal of idolism a little too long. "I'm actually liking this. So what do I have to do?”

"Hehehe, Anon. That makes me so~ proud of you. I knew you had some of ole "chaotic spirit" in you. It's practically in your blood. What with all those wars humans have had."

You stop. Has he been reading up on..

"You know about all of that? How much of my world do you know about?"

"Oh not all that much. Just enough to get by and pick up some new tricks. A human's brand of actual chaos isn't much fun to me. So I decided only to memorize the more amusing bits. Like so.." Suddenly, you're puffed up like a balloon and begin to float upwards into the sky as you freak out and start shaking your now tiny legs. You have trouble getting out actual words.

"MMHHHMMMM!!! MMM!!!MM!!!" As you floated up to the sky, mumbling for dear life.

Discord appears next to you, keeping up with your raising height as he continues "Old cartoons from your world has so many fun new bits for me to try!"

You continue your muffled screaming as you raise higher and higher into the sky. Discord laughs at you "See, aren't we having fun? ahhh, but alas. Being the responsible father that I am. I need to get you situated in your new home. Sorry to burst your bubble on your fun but..." Discord took out a needle and flashed it to you.

You shook your head. What the hell was he thinking?! Discord snickered for just a moment as he stabbed you. Making you burst. Suddenly you found yourself screaming back in your normal voice as you spun in darkness. Only to fall on your face on some hard wood.

...You were really getting sick of that.

You shake your head, and try to calm yourself as you realize you are someplace new. It seemed to be some kind of house. seemed a little familiar. But..outside the windows it was dark… eerie… and weird.

.....You were in Discord's house.

Chapter 5

View Online

Just from where you were at. You could tell you are in a living room. And at first glance it seems normal. But you know better than that. A closer inspection shows some things to be very dirty with varying amounts of clean… Some objects seemingly normal while others more twisted,Stairs that go nowhere, And looking out the windows, all you could see was an endless void of eldritch curiosity.

Discord finally teleported in with a with confetti flying everywhere and a trumpet sound sounding. "Welcome Anon, to your new home!"

You grimaced at the blare of the trumpet as you turned over to him. A little peeved that he inflated and then popped you. "Yeah… Great..."

Discord gave a small huff before levitating you towards him at eye level "Anon. Why must you be so uptight? I thought you, most of all, would appreciate this." He slowly contorted his face into a frown, with big puppy dog eyes.

Ugh...Maybe you were being uptight. He DID go through the trouble of granting you this big wish after all. And you haven't even shown any true gratitude. You sighed. "Sorry… I guess I've had a lot on my mind. Thanks, by the way..."

Discord began to smile. not an evil one, a more sincere one. "Thanks...Thanks for what?"

"Thanks for well...bringing me here. It actually does mean a lot to me. And I guess I should of been more appreciative and under-" Discord gave you a small pat on the head and gently put you down.

"Anon please don't get too mushy on me. I'm not Princess Celestia, I don't need a report."

"O-oh. Right right… Well… Thank you again… And stuff." Eh, what a time to get sappy. Then again, he probably just didn't want to be in a sappy mood either. Just take it as is. That's the least you can do. "So, this is your house huh?"

"No Anon, this is OUR house. You're my son, remember?"

You chuckled, that seemed a little generously absurd to you. "Yeah're really serious about this father son thing huh?"

"Of course, if I wasn't. I wouldn't have brought you here. I'd just have dropped you off at one of your hospitals after your heart stopped from the shock of meeting me. Hilarious reaction but I didn't know anything about human anatomy and if I dissected you wouldn't be here now. Would have been an interesting though, don't you think?"

" Yeahhh, don't think I would have been around to think that" You gave a nervous chuckle. You were sure he was just messing with you. Just push on through and deal with it.

Actually, you did silently realize you were taking things much too well than one would expect. Perhaps your want to be any where but your own world had desensitized you some from actually appearing in Equestria. Or perhaps part of you believed this to be a dream. Whatever it was, it at least made things easier for you.

"Now then, let me show you your room" Discord said, as he snapped his talons, making a door appear on the ceiling.

"...Ummm how am I supposed to get up there?"

Discord chuckled "Anon, Anon. Sometimes not everything is as difficult as it first appears"

You think you've watched enough cartoons to know what that means. You immediately go silent as you look up at the door with determination and try to walk up on nothingness. works..You suddenly start shifting gravity onto some invisible steps as if it was nothing. "Woah...this is kinda cool."

Discord pulls out a camera as he starts taking snapshots. "That's my boy! Taking his first chaotic steps into his room! Look into the camera Anon!"

"oh o-AHHHH BRIGHT, BRIGHT AHHH I'M BLIND." There were flashes coming from the camera with great intensity.causing you to trip and fall upwards into your room.

Discord, appearing in your room, catches you and puts you in a resting position on his lion arm as he pulls out a picture of you being surprised and dazed by the camera "Look Anon, look how adorable you look in this. It's definitely going into the family album."

You gave a moment for your eyes to adjust. "Was the flash really necessary?...geez..I thought I was going to go...oh hey, I look pretty adorable actually"

"Oh I know, Fluttershy is simply going to adoooooore you. But that won't be for a little while. For now, just relax a little… So," Discord waved his paw around the room "what do you think?"

Discord put you down so you could take a look around the room. It looked more human styled. And the bed… Wow… A modification of the one you had at home, with a blue quilt and everything. It was a little basic though. a dresser, mirror. Nothing to chaotic. And then there was the bookshelf. It didn't have much in it so far. But it did have these are the Daring Do series. "Hey… These are… Is it the whole series?"

Discord nodded "Of course, Only the best for my Anon."

Ahh geez, he's really going all out with this. The room didn't seem to have any kind of booby traps or scares in it. It was just a normal room. "..Thanks Discord… I.. don't know what to say, really."

"Just call me ‘dad’. Ahh yes, now that you've seen your room. We do need to get some official business done and go see Twilight Sparkle." Discord chuckled.

"You mean mess with her, right?"

"Ohhhh… You really do catch on quickly, then again. I already told you I was, didn't I?"

"Yup, and I wanna help. But… ahh. Let's not go too far with it huh? I don't want to make her upset… Or get banished… Or something. She is supposed to be your friend after all"

Discord waved his paw at you "Pshawwww Anon, it's just a little prank. Friends do it all the time. If she wasn't my friend, then I'd probably just conquer her kingdom or put a whoopee cushion under her seat during some important princessy meeting or something."

Haha… good to know conquering a kingdom is at the same level as a whoopee cushion… Good stuff… Good~ stuff…

Not really.

Discord snapped his fingers. Making a cute little red bowtie appear on your chest, along with a small cute blue suit and a tiny top hat. "There we are."

You looked at yourself in the mirror. Awww. You looked cute enough for a bunch of horsefuckers to gang bang. You gave your top hat a little side tilt to add some style. "Ok I think i'm ready, so are we going n-HOLY GEEZ!"

As you turn to look at Discord, you see he now has Applebloom's head instead of his own....disturbing. "And then after all this, yer going on the tour tommorow with Applebloom, right? Right?!"

You sighed… Ugh.. "Yes.. You're really on to that whole friendship thing huh? That doesn't seem like you."

Discord popped the Applebloom head with his talon, changing his head back to normal. "You can say that being friends with Fluttershy has rubbed off on me a smidge. And besides, I can't have you running around here all day. I don't even know if you’re house broken."

"That's funny, I kinda was thinking the same thing about you, heheh" You smirked at him.

"Ohhh, my Anon is finally growing a backbone. How marvelous" Discord rolled his eyes

"I guess you can say you're finally rubb-wait… What is that sound?" You swear you can hear something inflating.

Discord covers his mouth to hold in his laughter as he points behind you.

You take a look and....OH SWEET JESUS. IS THAT YOUR SPINE GROWING OUT OF YOUR BACK?! You immediately begin to panic as Discord immediately disappears from the room. There's no pain. It's just freaky. And as you try to push it back in in frivolity. It explodes. Sending you into darkness… And then out somewhere else… Someplace… a little more castley.

You crash right into Discord's leg, as he looks down upon you. "Oh there you are anon, what in Equestria kept you?"

You look up at him, then ahead. You both stood in front of some double doors. Was this Twilight's castle? "You sc-...ahh...forget it. I really should get used to your shenanigans at this point… Really… Really should."

Discord chuckled and straightened your tie "Don't be a spoil sport Anon, ahh... There we are."
You look up and down at the doors

"I'm not… just caught me off guard. I ALMOST thought I was gonna die. Then I remember you wouldn't let that happen...right?"

"Of course not." Discord said with a gentle grin

You get a little upset. "What do you mean may-..oh.. You said… of course not… huh..." you guessed he's actually taking things a little seriously. At least with you. You expected him to say "Maybe". In fact, You readied yourself for it. But he managed to surprise you with a pretty normal and caring answer. Maybe he just did that to throw you off again...who knows. "So… how are we gonna do this ,Dad?"

"What, you actually want to plan this? oh nononononono. Just go with the flow Anon. Improvise. a truly good act is one nopony can see coming."

"Right right, ok...ahrm" You take a breath. “Ok.. Ok" You shake and stretch your hooves. "I think I'm ready. I think I got this."

"Well then… Let's begin!" Discord said as he once again raised his taloned fingers and snapped them. Causing you both to warp once more.

Next thing you knew. You found yourself floating. Looking around, you saw you were in the main hall. Where everyone's chairs sat around the giant table. The old tree library hanging like a chandelier. On the table seemed to be books and legal papers. and Looking into them was purplesmart herself, Twilight sign of Spike though.

You'd have thought she'd be able to see you, but you quickly noticed that you couldn't even see yourself. Namely...your hooves. It appeared you were invisible. That's when you saw him. Discord appeared right behind Twilight and covered her eyes.

"Guess who~"

Twilight seemed to have gotten a little startled at first. But then she just puffed some air out, annoyed "You know that's getting old, right?"

Discord popped from behind to in front of her. shrinking in size as he stands on one of her scrolls. "Twilight, I'm surprised at you, that was a terrible guess. In fact, I don't even know anypony with a name that long. Sounds made up to me"

"I'm busy Discord, if you want. You can come back later. And as long as you don't pull any funny business. I'd be happy to talk with you… But just… Not right now… Super duper busy." Twilight said with disinterest to his presence

Discord chuckled "Ahhh, you see. That's what I'm actually here for. Some official business on our earlier talk of Equestrian law and such."

"Discord I don't hav-..wait what?" Twilight put her full focus on him. She was wondering what he meant by "official business"

"It's just as I said. What, did you think I wasn't paying attention?" Discord gave her a hurt look

"..I..didn't think you were.." Twilight said, prompting Discord to appear behind her, as he leans over her, making a fake sobby voice

"Oh Twilight, how are we supposed to be friends if you don't think I'm capable of being serious once in awhile, you're breaking my heart you know."

Twilight began to stutter, surprised "I-I...I just didn't think you were uhh...paying attention. That's actually wonderful, Discord, I'm proud of you." Twilight smiled at him

Discord bowed "Yes, I'm quite proud of me too. see, I even gave myself a gold star for excellence!" Discord points to a rather dilapidated star pinned to his chest.

Twilight smiled cheerfully at him, it was like a weight was lifted off of her "Discord, you deserve it. It makes me so glad to know that you're willing to fully integrate as a citizen of Ponyville, now then all-"

Suddenly, she's cut off by Discord's rambunctious laughter. "HAHAHAHAH ARE YOU SERIOUS?! am NOT doing any of that nonsense. I was talking about the particular laws on...oh what was it....ahhhh yes...." suddenly he made a cruel, soulless smile at her. "Adoption."

You smirked. Oh man, that's pretty good.

Twilight's smile turned to that of worry "Discord....w-what are you talking about when you say "adoption" ?"

"Oh it's just as I said. You see, I went over to Phillydelphia..." It seems Discord was going to go along with your story "And visited an orphanage… There was this cute little colt that was ooohhh so weak and helpless. Twilight… Oh Twilight… You had to have been there. It made my heart melt. So… I took him home and became his father." He poofed up some documents...they looked official from where you were at "See? legal documentation and everything"

Twilight's jaw dropped. She looked like she was nearing "Lesson Zero" levels of worry. "Discord… You… You didn't..."

"Oh, I did. Twilight Sparkle, allow me to introduce you to my son, Anon!" Discord snapped his fingers. Making you fall head first into her books and scrolls… Ugh… It just never stops.

Discord rubbed his chin "hrnn… He was supposed to land over there… Oh well, the deed is done."

Twilight turned to see you, and then rushed up to you. Instead of asking if you were alright. She was putting her hooves all over you. You didn't know whether to feel turned on or violated."Sweet Celestia… He's real… HE'S REAL?!?!"


Discord gasped in fake surprise "Twilight! Are you suggesting I put that poor little colt back in that orphanage to suffer never knowing what having parents are like? Oh my my, tch tch tch. How the Princess of Friendship has become so corrupt by the power she wields, oh goodness gracious, how terrible indeed."

"At least there will be stability in his life! Discord, You can't do this! You'll ruin him!" Twilight was livid with all this. She firmly believed Discord was not capable of parenting a foal.

"Ohh..that much" Discord forces tears out "I thought we were think...i'm a terrible father" suddenly he grins "Ahh well, too bad for you. The only way he's going back is if he invokes the law that the colt or filly in question feels they are abused or in danger enough that they wish to go back to the orphanage. So...unless he wants to go back. He's mine."

Twilight turned over to you, she looked desperate "A-anon? right? You don't want to live with Discord right? There are so many wonderful and loving mares and stallions who will adopt you and give you a good home. Discord isn't one of them"

Wow… Way to be douchey Twilight. Then again, Discord was himself, being a douche. eh, everyone has to pull a douchey move at least once. And you liked the guy. You gave her a cute happy smile, and said as joyously as you could, you said. "He's my Daddy, and I love him very much."

Discord gave you a thumbs up without Twilight noticing. Twilight herself looked like she had a heart attack as she falls backwards. "I can't believe this"

"Oh don't be like that Twilight." Discord picks you up and gives you a big hug "Look how adorable he is. And so well spoken for a colt his age. Why I bet with my tutelage, he could skip grades." You played along and gave him a big hug

"Dad thinks i'm super smart, I never thought I was but he always tells me I'm super great. But he always encourages me and says i'm destined to do great things"

Twilight seemed surprised by your words "Really? said that Discord?"

You nodded profusely. "He even said I can become greater than him someday, in fact, a million times better than him! Isn't that awesome?"

Twilight cocked an eyebrow… That seemed less believable "Is he serious?"

Discord didn't seemed too pleased on your last remark. You knew he wouldn't. But hey, this was the only opportunity that you THINK you could get him to say something like that. He turned to Twilight and gritted his teeth in a smile "Of course Twilight, Why wouldn't I tell him that… He's my son… It's not as if he was actually some loser I picked up off the street or anything."

Ouch… You winced just a bit at that.

Twilight stood up and gave you a hard look "Well… it… seems unbelievable. But… I can't just bend the laws to suit me. I just… I don't understand."

"You don't need to understand Twilight. You just need to acknowledge that I'm a father, one to be respected." He suddenly covered your ears with some fluff "I mean, you wouldn't want him to wonder why some ponies sometimes scream or run in terror at the sight of me, would you? Or why their princess seems to be annoyed at my very presence. He'd be scarred." Suddenly, the fluffs disappear.

"No no… Of course not. And… if you are serious about this. Of course I can acknowledge you as a good father. I just need a minute to process all this. It's a little overwhelming." Twilight didn't really know how to take it. She couldn't just intervene if everything seemed alright for the moment.

"Go right ahead Twilight, I can understand the feeling. I'll let you get back to your work. I didn't want to be too much of a bother afterall."

"...Ahm… Actually, Discord. If I could have a private moment with your son. You know...just me and him. It'd be even more appreciated. I just want to ask the usual questions and whatnot. Help him understand how things work since… Well... I assume you won't just keep him locked up somewhere..right?" Twilight kept her eyes locked to his. Looking for anything that would spell dishonesty or mistreatment of you. Not realizing how big she was being rused.

Discord gave her a confident smile "Of course , a child needs wide open spaces and fresh air and all that. And I don't mind at all if you have a chat with dear Anon. You needn't even worry about me manipulating him or eavesdropping or anything of the sort. I'm a trustworthy and good father. Honest" Discord put his paw to his heart as a halo appeared over his head.

"Right..umm...Thank you for understanding Discord. I'll have him back to you as soon as I'm done speaking with him, alright?"

Discord bowed. "Of course my Princess, I trust you completely… I just wish you put more trust in me once in awhile..."

Twilight cringed. She started to feel bad. "I… umm… I'm sorry Discord. I Shouldn't have immediately jumped to conclusions." Twilight bowed to him a short bow "I truly apologize"

"Being one of your best friends. I of course accept your apology. In anycase. I shall be waiting outside the castle. If you can bring him there when you are finished. It'd be most appreciated...ta-ta" Discord waved as he vanished from sight.

And now you were alone....with Twilight.

Chapter 6

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Twilight cautiously walked up to you. "Hello Anon, How are you feeling?"

"I'm..uhm..good. It's uhh...nice to meet you Princess" You do a courteous bow. The more you milk this, the better. You held in your laughter. She looked a damned mess right now as she tried to put things together mentally in her head.

"You can call me Twilight Sparkle or just Twilight if you want. Princess is a little too formal for me. I'm just another pony." Where was she going with this?

"Aren't you a powerful Alicorn though? I wouldn't call that "Just" another pony"

Twilight blinked in surprise. You really were well spoken. "Oh..well. I meant on the inside. I'm just another pony. One willing to listen and understand and help you with any problem you might have. So please, don't feel nervous, alright?"

Oh hoooo. So that's what she is doing. classic cartoon tactics. She's trying to make you comfortable to spill the "truth". Maybe it was your own human nature mixed with the fact you are now pretty much partnered with Equestria's greatest prankster. But Twilight wasn't Flutters nor Pinkie, hell even Rarity can be cool in your eyes. This was your chance to see how much mischief you can get away with.

You walked up to her and looked up to her with a false look of wonder. "Ok, why do you want to talk to me miss Twilight? Is there a problem?"

Twilight smiled at you, you were being so polite. A direct contrast of what she thought you'd act like due to Discord's tutilage. "Not exactly, I just wanted to talk to you without Disc-..your father present. That is alright? Right?"

You nodded and gave her the happiest little smile. "That's alright, Are you going to be my mommy?"

"W-What?! Anon..I'm sorry but I can't be your mother" Twilight was taken aback, mother? Her… Father… DISCORD?! DOES NOT COMPUTE. Not in her mind anyway.

You frowned. "O-oh...I guess seeing you and daddy talk like that. I thought you were with him. I thought you were my new mommy..." You turn away, hiding a sneaky smile as you try to force tears. but unable to. "But I guess not..."

Twilight felt awful. She also noticed… As far as she knew. That you really cared about Discord. You kind of did. He was growing on you. "Anon, so it's true? You really don't mind being adopted by Discord? He..hasn't done anything bad to you?"

You look at her. and give her a small smile and shake your head. “Nu uh. He's been really nice. Really really nice."

"..Oook..." Twilight turned away and walked off for a moment to collect her thoughts. "I..I don't know what to make of this. He's the last pony to be raising a child and yet he seems to be doing fine. Think Twilight, Think! Is this all for real or is If he was scheming, then Anon would definitely let somepony know. It's just so hard to believe and yet. It's actually happening. I wonder if Fluttershy has anything to do with this. Just… Wow. He's reall-"

"I can hear you, you know" You really could, she wasn't being subtle

Twilight yelped in a startled cry as she jumped slightly away from you. You had decided to trot right next to her since you couldn't hear what she was mumbling about from where you were.
Twilight gulped "Right..aha..Well. I'm actually glad to hear you're doing well. I know it may not look it. But we've had some trouble with your father in the past. It's why I just wanted to make sure you were one hundred percent ok with this."

You looked up to her, and gave her an emotionless expression. "Gee miss Twilight, you're not very nice if you can't even think of this as a good thing. Daddy is much better than that lonely old orphanage. You don't want me to be you? I didn't have any friends..."

Twilight winced "N-no, of course not. I… didn't even know you had no friends… mmm. No.. You're right. It is very wrong of me to think of Discord doing anything bad. Adoption is supposed to be a good thing that brings love and friendship into a foal's life. I guess I was just too worried that Discord was pulling some sort of prank."

You nodded. "You should feel ashamed of yourself for thinking of that. Dad is a good guy."

Twilight looked down and frowned. She really did feel ashamed "I do. I'm very sorry Anon. You can go now. I have a lot to think about..."

You nod and give a small polite bow. "It'll be ok, I guess you can think of it as a friendship lesson. I guess you have more to learn huh?"

"I do, Well. I won't make this mistake again. In fact, I'll be sure to get you a gift when I get the chance to celebrate your newfound adoption."

You smile. "That'd be really cool! Thanks Miss Twilight."

Twilight gives you a small melancholy smile "You're welcome, Anon. Now hurry along to your father. He's not the patient type."

You hold in a snicker. "You're assuming again."

"R-right. ahrm..well, you have a most pleasant day. Goodbye Anon" Twilight gave you a small respectful nod. She knew she screwed up...perfect.

"Goodbye miss Sparkle" You gave your own small bow as you headed towards the exit and left. Looking around for Discord. " around?"

Discord immediately popped up from behind you and scooped you up as you both floated into the sky. It was startling at first. But you calmed down eventually. Maybe it's because you knew he wouldn't kill you or let you fall....from that far high anyway.

"Aye geez… Do you gotta just sweep me up like a hawk like that?"

", But I always like to have a sense of flair to everything I do. Now then..How'd it go in there? Tell me all the juicy bits"

You cock an eyebrow and smirk at him. "Are you seriously telling me you actually didn't eavesdrop on the whole thing?"

"Anon, Anon. You've watched me before on your little box. You know I always SOMETIMES keep my word. And in this case I did, I left the rest to you. Now then, I would hope you aren't going to tell me that you felt bad for her."

You kinda sorta did. But at the same time, it was fun to have the opportunity to knock THE Twilight, the one who became perfect pretty princess, down a peg. You look to your "father" with a smirk.

"Oh, you shoulda seen it. I mean, wow. She was all like "Discord is not to be trusted". And I just gave her cute smiles and little sob stories about how you saved me from a life from no friendship."

Discord giggled "Oh, that sounds marvelous. Pity we couldn't get any snapshots."

You chuckled. "Yeah, if I still had my cell phone. I probably could have sneaked a video… I mean. I even suggested she was gonna be my mom and she wigged out."

Discord chortled and laughed hard, nearly dropping you. You held on tight "YOU DID WHAT?! AHAHAHAHA. ANON..Oh Anon, you didn't. You might be able to slay me with that one. That's rich, I could practically taste the smoke coming from her brain as she tries to put together the pieces. We could probably even have a camp out and roast marshmallows over it. You know… real father son time."

You hang on tighter until he gets a better grip on you again. As you speak to him. You notice he is being rather malicious about this. more so than you remember him being. Fun is fun...but. "Discord, you don't think we took it too far right?"

Discord waved his talon at you "ah ah....that should be "Dad, you don't think we took it too far right?"

You slowly nod. "...right...ahrm..well?"

Discord gave it some thought as you both floated up enough into a cloud...and somehow came out back into his house. "Not at all, she forced me for seven hours Anon..SEVEN WHOLE HOURS. To listening to everything about Equestrian law so I can be a "better" draconequus. it was excruciating."

What? "Couldn't you have… Just left?"

Discord let out a heavy sigh. "No, Fluttershy would have been greatly upset if I hadn't sat through all of it. She sat there with me the whole time to make it less painful for me. Every law and piece of order was like a dagger plunging into me. Oh… It was like being in a war I couldn't win, and then somehow coming out alive. So, afterwards I told myself. I'll do everything by the law… and get myself a son."

Fluttershy? ahh that makes sense now. At this point. He'd do anything for her. He has a heart in there somewhere. But...wait a second. "Hold on, but you didn't. You never went to Phillydelphia and filled out some papers. You came to my world, turned me into a kid pony. and brought me here. Are you telling me you did all that for a prank?!"

Discord didn't seem to care at your surprise when he said. "Partially, you act as if you wouldn't have known that there was my own personal reasons for taking you here. You shouldn't act so surprised. The way I see it, you still won the the biggest lottery of your life. It's not as if I can send you back anyway. It'd be suspicious. So, I hope you don't have some angst brewing and ready to tell me how "wrong" it is and how "hurt" you feel. I have no time for those cliches. You know what I'm capable of if you annoy me."

...Well shit. He's got you there. it would be annoyingly cliche anyway. Especially since it'd never end in your favor and he might even get annoyed enough to send you back with some dubious reason as to why despite him saying he can't. One thing for sure. You didn't want to leave. And, it shouldn't have been to no surprise that you were being used anyway. At least he's being nice about it… Still, one thing. "Ok..but..we're not gonna mess with Twilight that hard again right? I mean, that was super enjoyable and all. But, I don't want to make her brain explode."

Discord patted your head in assurance "Fret not. It was just a little revenge prank. I don't want her turning into some depressed pony who is no fun. I just wanted to get her flustered. You must admit Anon, it do you humans put it?..ahh as hell"

You giggled a little at that. and Thinking about it. "Yeah it was, topping Twilight was pretty amazing. Never thought it'd be that easy. But, I do feel bad. Just a little. But… I really gotta admit. I would mess with her again if I got the opportunity. Just… with something more lighthearted though. I still kinda want to be her friend too."

"Of course, I'm all for light hearted pranks. a fart here, a flood there, terror rampant in the streets from an army of pies coming to hit their faces. I'd never ever want to make Twilight extremely hurt that'd she turn into a grey sad husk"

You laugh at the pie thing...but that last remark. "Woah hold on...You did do that. Once before"

Discord gave you a stern look "Anon, please. That was a necessary tactic that turned out rather funny while I was evil. It's not as if I would do something like that again. Well...not unless I went evil again or something."

You chuckle nervously. "r-right, ahah...anyway. So what's up on the agenda next dad?"

"Well, I do need to make sure you're nice and fed. Are you hungry?" Discord asked.

You rub your belly. "A little, all I had was a few sandwiches and milk."

Discord rolled his eyes. "How meager" Discord snapped his fingers. Suddenly you were on a small chair as a table appeared before you. On it was food. a huge variety of it, turkey, sweets, burgers, fries, veggies, fruits. Just everything.

"...Wooooooooooooooahhh...This is… This is all for me?" You ask, astonished.

Discord nodded "Only the best for my son."

Wow, that made you think a little. Despite the prank. It seemed he was taking this seriously… for some reason. Well, you didn't want to spoil it. Specially with this spread in front of you. but before you even open your mouth. He had one last thing to say

"I have to go set up a little something. It'll be our last trip of the day." Discord explained.

Another stop? But you didn't want to go anywhere after stuffing your face. You just kind of wanted a chance to relax. "Another trip? Can't we save it for tomorrow?"

Discord shook his head. "I'd rather not wait. No doubt Twilight will tell the others at one point and I want to beat her to the punch with at least a certain friend. Besides, You have a tour tomorrow. Which would would make us have to wait even longer."

...Hrn… He probably wanted to show you off to Fluttershy. Well, you can't complain about that. You really wanted to meet her. She seems so caring and loving. You wouldn't mind if she was being affectionate towards you.

You nod to him without a word, and look at your food. " I get a fork..or uhh."

Discord rolled his eyes "Please Anon, You don't need to waste your time on utensils . Just dig in. Just remember to be polite if others offer you food. Here, I don't mind how you eat."

"Ok" You shrug, and bring your mouth to the turkey. And the moment you do. The roast turkey jumps up and screams, freaking you out. It then starts rolling around before discord smashes it with a hammer.

"Oh, That one wasn't fully cooked it seems. Well, it should be ready to eat now"

You gulp "...R-right." At that point, you cautiously begin to stuff your face. Being wary of any other shenanigans that might happen.

Discord himself just starts floating and lounging about waiting for you as he toyed with his talons, it seemed that was his way of "setting up".

You knew you couldn't finish all of this. But you didn't feel bad because you knew he could make it all vanish as easily as he made it appear. You also knew any crud you got on your clothes or fur. That Discord would most likely clean off in an instant to present you to Fluttershy as adorably as possible. So you didn't hold back on reaching for anything.

It seemed so quick to have visited three of the six in one day. It was also odd how you and Discord bonded so well so quickly. Or at least you hoped so. For all you knew, it seemed like a duo made in heaven… or in hell. Then again, part of it was he was playing the part of "Dadcord". But even then, he didn't have to be nice to you when no one was looking.

It was relieving really.

Chapter 7

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You gobbled up enough as to not overfill yourself. However, you also noticed Discord had not moved from his position. "Hey Dad… You do remember you were going to set something up...right?"

Discord was floating in mid air, on his back, resting his head on his chaotic limbs "Already did"

Already did? the hell? So was him playing with his talon tips really? "What? You didn't even mAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly you find yourself falling straight downwards into a void and landing head first into some dirt… You were going to get brain damage at one point from all this. Discord picked you up with his magic and immediately started to dust you off with his tail. "Anon, now is not the time to play in the dirt. I need you to be on your very best behavior. Understand?"

You cough and whack his tail away in anger. "I WASN'T PLAYING IN THE DIRT! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DROP ME ON MY GODDAMN HEAD?!"

Discord whacked you on the head lightly "Language Anon, language. And besides. I figured you'd land on your feet."



Discord looked up, in wonderment "Is it? hrnn.." then he shrugged "Cat, Pony. I don't think there’s too much of a difference. Besides, I don't understand the hostility after I just gave you such a delicious meal… Also," He whacks you again "language."

You rubbed your head… Ugh… You were surprised you didn't have a headache. "Can't you just handle me a little better? geez Discord. I'm supposed to be your son, remember?"

"Ah ah ah, you are supp-"

Now you cut him off "No look, I'll continue calling you dad if you just stop dropping me on my head. It hurts and I don't like it. Alright? capesh? Understand?"

"Fine fine" Discord said as he gently put you down after straightening up your top hat.

Fine?...just like that? "Really? no lie? no tricks?"

"No lie, no tricks. I don't have the time is all. Given I'd rather have a chat with Fluttershy while she is still available."


You looked around. Behind you was a small bridge, and ahead of you was Fluttershy's door to her cottage. He dropped you right at her front door. You started to feel a little nervous. This was one of the ponies you really wanted to meet. "S-so, what are we doing here exactly?"

Discord gave you a gentle and relaxing head rub. running his talons gently through your mane. It was as if he wanted you to calm down. "A visit of course. Any opportunity I have to visit Fluttershy, I shall take it. Besides, I want her to meet you."

You found yourself gently pushing your head into his talons until you realized you were enjoying it's relaxing feel. Irking you just enough to slowly pull away. "You mean to boast to her"

Discord shook his head "Oh no no, not to Fluttershy. I'd rather her just see what a great and loving draconequus I can be. That I'm not only capable of friendship with other ponies, but can transcend into fatherhood successfully without a hitch. Which is why I need you, Anon. To be on your very best behavior."

"Like with Twilight?"

Discord shook his head "No no, just be more natural, yet nice. Courteous. Because Anon.." suddenly his voice became hard and intimidating "If Fluttershy so much as has a single tear in her eyes, we'll see how hard that head is . By testing a drop from Cloudsdale. Alright? Capesh? Understaaaaaand?"

You gulped " it" Hrn… The complete opposite of Twilight. Even if he was being scary about it. He really did care about Fluttershy in his own way. Frighteningly so it seems.

Suddenly, he went back to jovial and lighthearted "Splendid, now you wait here until I call for you. I want it to be a surprise. Ohhhh..I can't wait for her to find ahrm"

You stepped a few steps back to conceal yourself near a bush while Discord knocked on the door after clearing his throat.

It didn't take long. But Fluttershy opened the door for him. and greeted him with a cheerful smile "Good afternoon Discord, It's quite a surprise to see you. How are you doing today?"

Oh man, you could see it from here. She was soooooo cute. And her voice. Hearing it in person made the rest of the pain in your head vanish as it soothed your brain.

"I'm doing fine Fluttershy, you are doing well too, I assume?" Discord asked. Wow..what a 180 on his fucking manners.

Fluttershy nodded "Ohhh yes, I'm alright. Even better to know you are fine. I thought that lecture Twilight had given made you angry and upset. I'm glad to see you're doing ok" She flew up to him and gave him a gentle hug.

Holy crap. He was like a damned puppy. He wasn't pulling any kind of tricks whatsoever. Hilarious really.

Discord returned the hug and gave her a soft smile "Well, it was quite a lot of order for a chaotic spirit such as myself to take in at once. But giving it enough time. It actually sank in."

Fluttershy seemed overjoyed by that remark "Really? That's wonderful Discord. I'm sure you'll be able to make all kinds of new friends if you follow everything Twilight had told you"

Discord slowly walked past her, then turned. His face seeming unsure "Ahh yes, about that. As I thought to myself about all this. I realized even with my new found knowledge. Not many ponies would forget all that nasty business with Tirek."

Fluttershy frowned "Well… I guess not. But Discord, I'm sure they'd come around if you showed them how good you really are like you show me"

"Ahh Fluttershy, how long would that take? Days...weeks...months..........years. No, I wouldn't be able to take it. So, I opted to take on an innocent soul who doesn't know anything of treachery or lies..."

Oh here we go. I guess he actually isn't above lying to her...for the most part.

Fluttershy didn't seem to understand "Discord? What do you mean by that?"

“It's exactly what I say... To prove I'm capable of friendship..I needed to take a step beyond. Into fatherhood to be exact. So… I adopted a son. Anon, will you come out here please?" That was your cue.

You popped out of the bushes with a smile. "Hi miss Fluttershy! I'm Anon!" You gave her a cute smile. You weren't faking this time. You really wanted to lay on some charm of your own.

However… her reaction… she stuttered… then fainted.

"...Oh shit...uhhh...was that supposed to happen?" You didn't expect that!

Discord curled his beard on his talon, unsure of what just happened "I actually have no idea. hrnnn...Perhaps she was overly stimulated from joy"

You doubted it. "Yeah no Dis..hmm..Dad...I don't think she was able to fully comprehend that you just went out and adopted a child just because you felt inadequate."

"What's to comprehend? Seems simple to me… In any case, I don't want her mane to get dirty so..." Discord snapped his fingers. Causing a bucket of water to appear over fluttershy and dropping water on her face, albeit the water was slow moving as and very deliberate in it's movement to cause shock without getting her face too wet. Discord didn't want her to be soaked and cold.

"AHH WHO WHAT..Umm...uh...what was I doing?" Fluttershy said as she awoke in a shock and looked around. Noticing a bucket suddenly in your mouth.
Even you hadn't noticed until you felt metal between your teeth. You quickly spit it out and smile nervously at her. "Haha… Hi..."

She wasn't fully oriented yet, and just gently replied back to you before looking at Discord. "Oh my...I didn't mean to fall asleep like that. And I had the oddest dream too. That you told me you adopted a son."

Discord smiled happily "Oh that wasn't a dream Fluttershy. I really did do that. And that’s him" He pointed towards you.

You introduced yourself again. "U-uhm… Hi… I'm Anon"

Fluttershy just looked back to Discord in a panic "Di-Discord. Please tell me you didn't adopt a colt just because you felt you couldn't make a friend...."

Discord nodded "I did exactly that… And there he is, the colt, my son. I don't see why you have to question it."

Fluttershy flew up to him, unsure, and worried "But Discord… raising a child is a big big big BIG responsibility. They are very impressionable and require tender loving care. Don't you think you are taking things a little too far? ...Just a smidge?"

Discord frowned. This time, it seemed genuine. a lot more than it was with Twilight. But still, a hint of dishonesty. "Fluttershy...You don't think that I'm incapable of raising this poor colt? this little foal who was cast aside to suffer."

Fluttershy seemed to have felt a jolt in her heart. She didn't want anyone to suffer "It's not that Discord… I think you could make a wonderful father… Just, not so soon. Not with a rash decision… And of course I'd never want anypony to suffer from anything like that..."

Your heart sank. She seemed so saddened that Discord would make such a decision. Not even knowing the whole truth of it. You walked up to her and nuzzled her… She was so soft. You just wanted to put her at ease.

"Don't worry miss Fluttershy, Dad is great! I think he's the best dad I ever had..."

Fluttershy looked down at you. To her, you seemed very loving. She kneeled a bit to nuzzle you back… oh man… oh~ man… so~ good and soft.

"Oh are very sweet." Fluttershy giggled softly, already feeling a little perked up from your affection and those words "Do you really like your new father?"

You gave her a cute happy nod. The whole ensemble you had on really helped bring it home.
"Yup! He feeds me and plays with me..."

Heh… Plays with you alright… Not in the best ways… "And he's even helping me make friends myself!" Forcing… but again… whatever… you just wanted to perk up her mood. You didn't even notice you were blushing a little.

Fluttershy suddenly seemed overjoyed "Even helping you make new friends?" She turns to Discord "Discord...I don't know what to say. You really took Twilight's words to heart!I'm very very proud of you."

Discord gave her the happiest smile you've ever seen him give. "Fluttershy..Don't say things like that. You'll make my heart melt and possibly drown half of the town..."

Fluttershy gave him another hug "Oh Discord, don't make silly jokes like that. I'm being serious. I am very proud of you."

"Thank you Fluttershy..." Discord said with a soft quiver in his voice

Holy crap...what a sap. You can see a tear coming from his eye before it fell… upwards… Yeah ok. Still… it was a sweet scene. It actually was good to see him happy.

Fluttershy flew back down to you and gave you a joyful smile "Are you enjoying your time here in Ponyville, Anon?"

That smile… Oh god, your heart… Play it cool Anon. You realize, even if you wanted her. Discord would rip you limb to limb if you tried anything were too young now.

You let out a nervous giggle. "Oh it's umm… pretty nice. I haven't got to see much of it yet. But Applebloom is going to be giving me a tour tomorrow morning! I really really can't wait!" You really really could wait…

Fluttershy again seemed overjoyed "How wonderful! You already made friends here. And with Applebloom too. She's a very sweet filly." She turned to Discord "you must be so proud, Discord!"

Discord actually didn't seem to care too much… Or maybe he did… You couldn't tell. But he gave her a thumbs up.

"Oh..and you'll be able to make more friends once Discord enrolls you in school. You'll like Miss Cheerilee, she's a fine teacher." ...Oh yeah, she was alright. One of the high ups on your side pony list.

"hehe, I just hope she can keep up with me...I'm pretty smart you know" You gave a wink

Fluttershy giggled "I'm sure you are. Are you good at math?"

You snickered. "Am I? Well...162 times 150 is 24300..isn't it?"

Fluttershy seemed puzzled "..u-uuhhm..." She turned to Discord.

Discord made numbers appeared and essentially did things like a magical calculator. coming to that answer "He's right"

Fluttershy… was now very impressed and began to rub your head gently with her hoof… oh man. It took everything in your power not to fall over and drool. You couldn't stop your blushing however… oh… it was so soothing.

"Discord, He's so smart and charming. And, I can already sense a little of him in you"

Discord seemed a little worrisome of that comment "That's not a bad thing? Is it?"

Fluttershy shook her head "No, It means he's confident. I can't imagine how it was in an orphanage… And I know.. how it is not to be confident sometimes. So to see you.." She turned to you "showing confidence shows me that your father is doing very well… I'm very proud."

Awww...she's so sweet and understanding. No wonder Discord bends to her. She's really the only pony who seems to believe in him through and through. "...would you be my mommy?"

Fluttershy Gasped, Discord seemed surprised. Oh shit… You just realized what you said. WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?!

Fluttershy gave you a hug "Oh Anon, that's so sweet...mnn..How about this. Since me and Discord are good friends..I wouldn't mind being your Aunt." She turns to Discord "If you don't mind of course."

Discord stammered a little "Me? Mind? o-of course not. I think it's a great idea. If I do say so myself."

Fluttershy giggled and patted your head "Then it's settled. If you will let me, I will be your Aunt Fluttershy from now on."

That...made you very happy. That was good enough. You gave her a hug of your own. "Thanks F..ahrm...Aunt Fluttershy. You made me even happier than I am now"

"You're very welcome Anon, and if you want to visit. My door is open anytime." Fluttershy, she was so damn quick to accept you and Discord's fatherhood. It really showed how much she cared about him really, and his feelings.

Discord made a loud throat clearing noise. "Yes, yes. I think it's great too. But me and Anon must be going. Still many things to do for his first day here."

Fluttershy just smiled and gave you one small pat before she flew up to Discord. "Alright then, it was very nice having you over Discord. And you too Anon. You both have a good day, and… Congratulations Discord… I am truly proud of you."

She gave him a very affectionate hug as she nuzzled her muzzle into his chest. Discord couldn't seem to help himself when he warmly smiled "T-thank you Fluttershy, I appreciate that. I really do."

It was touching. Even if he lied about how the adoption went down. He genuinely cared about Fluttershy. Seeing it happen face to face. You were sure of it now. The guy would risk his life for her at this point.

You all say your goodbyes as Fluttershy re-enters her home and Discord takes you back to his house. You look up at him with a smile. "Heh, That went pretty well, right Dad?"

Discord looks at you with a stern, mean look.

...Oh shit… What did you do?

Chapter 8

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"Mommy!?" Discord raised his arms up in anger as his eyes began to flare up… literally. "MOMMY?!?!"

You begin to back up slowly; looking up at him in fear. "H-hey now Dad, let's calm down...I-I mean. It's not that big a deal right? Remember? Lost foal? No parents? That? Remember?"

Discord levitated you upwards as a portal with those tentacles appeared behind you "And do you remember what I said about being too friendly? Because if you think I didn't notice you blushing and being oh so affectionate… Well, Anon." His face became stone cold serious "You'd be wrong"

You start to float about. Trying to get back to the ground but to no avail. "Woah woah woah woah! Hey! You told me to be of my best behavior remember?! Girls like cute things! Remember… Look at the bowtie Discord! LOOK AT THE BOWTIE. YOU MADE ME IRRESISTIBLY CUTE!"

Discord brought you closer. Eye to eye. looking at you with serious fury "Just because I made you irresistible doesn't mean to BE Irresistible!"

WHAT?! WHAT LOGIC IS THAT?!... Oh holy shit you were going to die! "H-hey, come on. I get it. You don't want any kind of lewdity or whatever around Fluttershy. I-I didn't do any of that. I kind of just got caught up in the moment."

Discord said nothing. He just stared deeply into your eyes. You began to panic. "COME ON MAN, I'M SORRY! YOU AT LEAST GET TO HANG OUT WITH HER MORE RIGHT?! CUTE KID MEANS MORE CHANCES FOR PICNICS AND STUFF! COME ON! I'M BEGGING YOU!"

You began to sob and cry. And just as you did. The portal behind you disappeared as Discord embraced you in a hug. "Anon! That's brilliant. I didn't even think it'd give me more of a reason to be around my favorite friend. I only wanted to show her that I was above Twilight's judgement. But now, that changes everything! Who would have thought that I, Discord, would have a son nearly as intelligent as I am." He sounded absolutely thrilled.

You however, were silent. You were shaking in pure fear as sweat ran down your fur. You were looking over Discord's shoulder in a blank, dead, frightened stare.


Discord pulled you away and held you up at eye's length, he seemed puzzled. "Oh my poor little colt. Are you cold?"


Discord smiled "Excellent! Then I know one last pony you should meet before we settle in for the rest of the day! She's just a ray of sunshine!"


Discord put you down and gave you a pat "Are you ready Anon?"

You just stood there, frozen and shocked. Discord lowered his upper body to your face and grabbed your jaw with his talons and moved it up and down to make mock speak. "Why yes Daddy, You're the coolest, I would totally love to mess with Princess Celestia for a little bit!" Discord chuckled "That's my boy!"

As Discord opened a portal behind you. It suddenly just hit you that you were about to meet...and mess with...Princess Celestia. You look up at him with a panic. "NO! nonononono! We can't do that Discord! Not her! Not ever!"

Discord noticed your reanimation and looked at you unamused. "Oh? And why not?"

Your eye twitched. "Why not?! Gee, I dunno. I SURE DO want to be banished, turned to stone, or imprisoned for one thousand years!"

Discord chortled "Oh Anon, loosen up a little. We get into one little skirmish and you are suddenly afraid of everything. It's unbecoming!"


Discord laughed again "Anon, you watch too many cartoons"

Nope....he wasn't listening. You just crossed your arms..legs..whatever and looked away defiantly.

"Nope, I ain't going. You can do this solo. Twilight is one thing. But I don't care how nice Celestia has always seemed. Messing with her always seems to end in thousand year banishments."

Discord laughter became crueler "Anon, you make it sound like you have a choice"

Crap… No no, don't give in. If you had to. You were sure you could find an exit from this crazy dimension somehow. "I can just run away Discord. There's such a thing as runaways you know?"

Discord smiled arrogantly and opened his front door with magic. Suddenly, lightning struck everywhere from outside the door. "There's the door, you can leave whenever you wish"

Pfft… If this is like any cartoon universe. Then he's only trying to scare you. You knew you could pull a one up on him by running out anyway. You also knew that ultimately. He can't let any harm befall you now that at least Fluttershy knows you exist… What a sucker.

You quickly turn and run towards the front door. That's it, you got him right where you want him!
Discord reached out for you, but missed "Anon, wait. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, but if you keep going you'll… YOU'L- ANON DON'T!"

He sounded… concerned… but no. You were already in full sprint and you wanted to make a statement that you weren't just something to be manipulated. You leap out the door, you were free! FREE!

And then the next moment you fall on your head on a regal white floor. Pillars about you. Everything squeaky clean. stain glassed windows about… Oh shit... After taking a quick glance, you plop your face to the floor. "...Dammit..."

Discord picks you up and again dusts you off with his tail. "I tried to warn you Anon, I didn't want you to hit your head again but you went and did it anyway. Now why did you go and do such a silly thing like that?"

You just matter what you did..or do. You can't trump his magical abilities.
"We're in Canterlot Castle… Aren't we?"

"Indeed, sharp eye. I knew you'd change your mind about this if you just gave it a chance" Discord giggled to himself as he rubbed hard on a scuff on your forehead. Making it vanish completely.

You let out a very annoyed sigh. "...Fine, whatever, let's do this already. But no more visits....not unless it's Pinkie Pie.."

Discord scoffed "Fine fine..I suppose we need a little moderation on all this fun we're having."

You took in a deep breath, and slowly let it out. "That's supposing we don't end up as statues or something."

Discord, looked into your eyes for a moment, it seemed he was noting that you weren't being enthusiastic this time around. "Anon, you need to look cuter and happier than this. If it will help, then I promise that as some point you will have an audience with Pinkie Pie… How does that sound?"

You cock an eyebrow at him, unsure whether to believe him or not. "Are you lying to me?"

Discord gave you a gentle pat. "I am not lying, you can be as affectionate as you want as well. I don't mind. As long as your extreme affections go towards her and not Fluttershy, then of course I'll keep my word."

You gave it some thought… Then realized... "Yeah… but then again. I could just meet her on Applebloom's "Tour" eventually right?"

Discord nodded. "You can… but you'd have three fillies trying to push you along to the next spot. What I'm offering is one on one time"

You immediately blushed. "o-one time?"

"Of course! But I don't want you to get your hopes up too much. You should realize she'll never be your special somepony..." You look down… That's right, you were just a colt.. "...Of course, that won't stop her from hugging, cuddling, and nuzzling you. She's a very hoof on type of mare. That should suffice. Right? It's not as if you won't have her friendship."

...Nuzzling and cuddling and friendship? Fuck it. That's good enough. One day, you will probably get the hots for another pony. But for now, affection from your favorite one and guaranteed friendship? Yeah ok… That’s fine. "...Ok, hold on."

You pump your right front hoof to your chest and take a breath to calm yourself. “Whewww, ok, I'm good. I can do this. I trust you… Dad. Let's make Celestia blow a fuse."

Discord snickered "Yes… Let’s..." Discord teleports you and himself into Celestia's chambers. It seems private..and unguarded. Celestia seems to be enjoying a spot of tea alone.
Well, she was alone. Until you and Discord showed up. While Discord appeared opposite of her with a tea cup fashioned in a style of his own accord. You floated slightly above… Invisible again of course.

"Helllllo! Is it tea time already? Silly me, I must have missed the invite. How are you Princess Celestia?" Discord said with a grin

The Princess remained stoic, only putting on a small smile as she used her magic to bring a cup to her mouth and take a small sip "Good afternoon Discord. I must say, I wasn't expecting your presence. But then again.." She giggles "...I suppose nopony ever does"

Discord seemed a little miffed that she didn't have a bigger reaction. But he pressed on, with a light hearted chuckle "Well, yes. I am the spirit of chaos after all."

Celestia took a small bite of her cake, before looking at him with a smile that would make the sun come up "Of course, and I'm glad to see you doing well. Tell me, how did that Equestrian Law seminar with Twilight go? Good I hope"

Discord brought his paw and talons together and tapped, keeping his eyes on Celestia's face for any sudden changes "It went smoothly. In fact, you can say I took it to heart more than any other pony would."

Celestia remained composed. and took another sip "That's very good to hear, though I assume you learned it in your own way as well, given you saw fit to visit me so suddenly. Although, I do enjoy having lighthearted company from time to time" Celestia gave a jovial chuckle.

"Why Princess Celestia, you are quite observant as always. I did indeed take it my own way… In such a way, that you can say I am undergoing the ultimate test."

As you could see, it seems Celestia was already used to Discord pulling tricks.This actually might be funny. Not worth a 1000 years. But you were actually anticipating a hilarious reaction. A sudden break.

"Ultimate test you say? Oh Discord, now you have me riveted. Tell me, what is this "Ultimate" test?" Celestia looked to him, she seemed quite interested.

Discord seemed to be getting a little antsy, and cut to the chase "It's simple, the test itself is being responsible for another life. So, without further adieu, Princess Celestia, I present to you… Anon… my son!"

Discord snapped his fingers...and this appeared right on Celestia's tea table...though now your butt was covered in cakes. You gave Celestia a wave and went into your routine. It was kind of scary. But maybe it really was worth the laugh.

"Hello! I'm Anon! Nice to meet you!"

Celestia didn't even looked stunned. She just was silent for a moment. Then smiled at you "Oh my, Discord, he's adorable!"

Discord....was stunned "HE'S WHAT?!"

You too..were taken aback. "...I'm what?"

You already knew being adorable was the shtick...but...either you did it too well...or.....what just happened?

Celestia lifted you up with her magic and put you down directly in front of herself. You felt a little fuzzy. her magic aura was warming. "A little bit of a crude place to introduce him. But a bath will fix that. Hello little one, how are you doing today?"

...Not one reaction… not one. you almost thought to question it. But that'd seem suspicious of an adopted foal asking why she isn't freaking out. "Gyum… ummm, I'm good."

Celestia smiled wide, she seemed happy as a clam "I'm glad, it always makes me happy to know a young colt or filly is having a good and wonderful day."

Discord slammed his paw on the table and locked eyes with Celestia's as he got frustrated. "What?! Are you not surprised or horrified that'd I take on such a ridiculous responsibility?!"

Celestia giggled sweetly at him as she gave your head a gentle rub with her hoof. It was… as warming as the sun. "Oh Discord, it's not ridiculous to want to care for another. If anything, it shows me just how much of a heart you have. And besides," She looks down at you "He seems healthy, and he's clothed in very fine clothing, and he seems very smart. So that tells me you've already been doing a good job. Tell me Anon, do you like your father. You can tell me the truth."

..You did… And you didn't… And due to that Pinkie Pie promise… You did more than you didn't. So you nod. "yes, I think he's pretty cool. a little weird sometimes. But he's pretty great."

"Well then...I see no reason to have any objection whatsoever."

Discord came to a mental crash and raised his talon in protest, but sounded defeated "But… but… aren't you wondering..umm..uhhmm..hrn.."

Celestia chuckled and walked over to him, and gave him a slight nudge with her leg "Discord, you don't need to hide it. I know you came here to receive a personal royal blessing and I of course give it to you. So you don't need to be at a loss of words. It's simply a blessing from a humble princess such as myself."

Discord… fell silent.

...oh man. OH MAN. OHHHHHMAAAANN. DISCORD GETTING BTFO. OHHH OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. You held on for dear life the laughter within you. Holy shit… Pure fucking gold.

Celestia sat back down, and resumed her tea drinking "I'd offer you both a slice of cake.but I'm afraid they've gone flat. so..Anon, would you care for some tea instead?"

You hobble up on a chair and sit down. Celestia giggles as some of the cake drips from your butt, and the rest gets on the chair. "No, I had a lot to eat already. Dad fed me pretty good."

Celestia refilled her cup as she gave a glance to the stunned Discord. "very well hmm? It sounds like he gave you a personal feast"

You nod. "Yup! lots and lots and lots of food. It seemed endless!"

Celestia's smile never relented "Sounds like the amount of food is the same as the amount of love he has for you."

Discord's eye twitched as he came close to Celestia in a fit of frustration "Now see here! I am not some cuddly wuddly being of love! I am the Spirit of Chaos! The wreaker of havoc! I am Discord!"

Celestia didn't even seem like she was paying too much attention to him as she passed you a cup of tea. "Here Anon, at least try this. It's very soothing"

Welp… whatever. Better not reject a princess's offering. "Thank you Princess Celestia." You smile at her and carefully take the cup and take a sip… It's… warming. It makes you feel a little calmer.

Celestia then turned to Discord and offered him a cup "Discord, I think you should definitely have a cup or two as well. You seem all bent out of shape about something. It's as if you came here for a different reason than the one suggested."

Discord's eyes burst into flames...for all of 2 seconds. Celestia still remained unmoved by his actions. After standing threateningly over her for another moment. He took the cup, let some steam out of his nose, put out his eye fires, and sat down on a chair with a huff. "Fine..."

You couldn't stop smiling. You had to dig your hoof into your other leg to create some pain to counter your urge to giggle.

Celestia took the time to use her magic to refill everyone's cup "There we are, now we can have a pleasant tea party." She then looked to you "That's alright, right Anon? I don't want you to feel it's too girly or feminine."

You took a sip. Oh man, good stuff. You then looked up to her, and smiled. You weren't about to be rude to her hospitality. "No, it's fine. I actually could use this right now. It's been a really exciting first day."

Celestia giggled "I can only imagine, given who your father is. Though, if we meet again. I'm sure we can find a more exciting activity. I'll even invite you to this year's Gala. I'm sure you'll have fun. The last two were quite exciting."

Yeah… you knew. She was pretty slick when it came to that. Maybe that's why she was calm now. She knew Discord wouldn't pull anything evil. And therefore had nothing to fear… Holy shit, you hoped that was it. Because you weren't too sure. She's messed up before. "Galas seem… I dunno… a little girly to me. I don't mean to be offensive but um, It just sounds all about dances and fancy music."

"Usually, but I can assure you. I'm sure something might happen that's sure to pique your interest." Celestia's hid the fact that she was indeed about fun in less serious times.

Not like you were going to deny the gala anyway. You just needed to play the part. "Well..then...I guess I'll go. I mean...if you'll invite me."

Celestia nodded "Of course, and you too Discord… You've been rather silent all of a sudden. Is anything the matter?"

Discord was slowly eating his cup as the tea stayed in place in the air. He seemed frustrated. "Nothing's the matter… whatever.. Would.. give you that.. Idea?"

"I was just worried due to your silence. hmm..Anon, I think your father wants to go." You looked over to him… he was not enjoying himself at all.

"Yeah..I think he might be mad about something. I don't know what it could be though. Are you ok Dad?" You almost let out a laugh again. Gotta keep your cool. You knew exactly what was up.

Discord didn't even turn to look at you "I'm...just..peachy.."

"Hmm… Well, Anon, I enjoyed both yours and your father's time here today. If you ever feel uncomfortable about anything. Let me know, I'm sure you can find a way to bypass all my security" Celestia again giggled. Did she know her royal guards weren't that great? ...Nah.. Probably just the fact you can get here through Discord's magic.

"Yes, umm, Princess Celestia. Actually, when I get the chance. I'd like to ask you a few things."
There were a few things you were interested in. You wanted to pick her brain about a few things the show was fuzzy with. But you wanted to do it without Discord present. Since some of it regarded the pre-battle experience with him.

Princess Celestia nodded "I'd be happy to answer some questions. I'm sure they'd be very insightful to you. I love teaching young ponies history and magic. It’s a shame you aren't a unicorn. I'd have had you enrolled in my school that I have here in Canterlot. I'm sure you'd be exceptional as you seem very intelligent already. But nevertheless, I'd be happy to grant you my time to answer any question you might have on your next visit." You could swear Celestia herself gave Discord an arrogant glare as she said this.

That was awfully generous and nice of her. You get off your chair and give her the most courteous of bows "That would be an honor Princess Celestia, I truly appreciate it"

Princess Celestia suddenly leaned over and gave you a peck on the forehead. "My, you really are a little gentlecolt, aren't you? I'm sure whatever mare comes your way will be very lucky to have you."

HURDDURSFSDSKSFDFEFEDSDCDS... You fumble about, as you quiver, and have a goofy smile on your face. You can't even look at her. "uahm..a..ahm..thank you."

Celestia giggles as you wobbly walk over to the silent Discord. "a..a..d-dad..time to go."

Discord, without a word raises his talons to snap you and him out of there before Celestia opens her mouth. "Discord, are you not going to say goodbye to me, seems like a poor example to be setting into your son, don't you think?"

Discord winced… his plan as playing the "caring" father had been completely overturned. "o-of course… Pleasant day, Celestia.. I've...had..a..lovely...visit.."

Celestia nodded "And it was lovely to have you. You both have a pleasant evening."

You smile and wave to Celestia. As Discord snaps his talons. Warping you both out.

Celestia had turned it into her favor pretty good. Even if she was unaware of the truth. She sure got under Discord's skin.

Chapter 9

View Online

You both warp back to Discord's house.

As you both appear. You've already straight lost it as you find yourself uncontrollably laughing.
Discord is looking somber. He just huffs. And looks down at your laughing form. "I'm going to bed Anon"

That just made you laugh all the more. You just giggle and slam your hoof on the floor as Discord hovers through his own door like a ghost. You slow your laughter into giggles and titters. Until you manage to stop. And take a look at his door.

"...hmmnn.." You actually felt a little bad for laughing. But at the same time you reasoned with yourself that it was fine. Discord himself needed to be brought down a peg after messing with you for so long. Still... "...mmm...I wonder what this place even looks like"

You hop up on a couch. It's surprisingly… hard, and lumpy. Or maybe that shouldn't be surprising. You place your hooves on the windowsill and look out the window to help get whatever guilt you had out of your mind. "Geez… It's like some crazy video game dimension out there.."

You see floating islands. Water and even lava flowing every which way. Trees growing upside down and various strange creatures and eldritch horrors flying about.

"...Maybe running out the door wasn't the best idea....geez...glad Discord warped me to the castle..." You continued to stare for awhile. Then back at Discord's door. "...hmmnnn. Eh, I won't let it bother me."

You shrugged off any remaining feelings and looked up at your door. It was still open. "hrn...I wonder"

You shook your rump as you prepared to make a jump "up the stairs"
You jump up. And gravity shifts as you fall upwards into your room....and then downwards onto the floor of your room… onto your head.

"Ngh..geez!..ugh...I guess I deserved that one" You got up and shook your head and gave it a small rub.

You got up on your bed and splayed yourself flat on top of it. It was...comfy. Wow, Discord actually made it comfy… And it was warm. It was an unnatural but very comfortable warmth.
You looked to the right at the bookshelf. It had more books than before. History texts? Math books? And some Equestrian literature among the Daring Do books. Hmm… You wondered why those were there.

You reached over and clamped your hooves on the first Daring Do book and immediately drop it. "Dammit..come on, you can get used to this whole earth pony thing Anon.."

You got off the bed and looked down at the book. You clamped your hooves on it again but it slipped and hit your face. "Agh! Stupid book! I didn't want to read you anyway!"

You huffed and hopped back onto your bed and looked at the ceiling, annoyed. "...I wish I was a unicorn. At least I'd be able to do some normal human things with magic… maybe toss hadoukens… see if rubbing it makes it feel good..."

You roll about, unable to sleep. You were now thinking of the whole tour thing. "And taking a tour? I know the town… Maybe not my way around, but there’s the schoolhouse, Sweet Apple Acres, Sugarcube Corner, town hall, Carousal Boutique, Twilight’s huge fucking castle… and ehhh, some houses, and a place that sells mattresses and quills… and… umm, some stalls… more houses..."

You took a breath. "Also… I lack a cutie mark. Meaning that’s probably all I'm really gonna hear about. ugh, I'm not a baby. Uhh… but I can't really say no. I said a lot of shlock to Applebloom that'd make me look like a real schmuck to her if I flaked out."

You turn to the side. "It'll be fine. It could be fun. Who am I to know, huh? I mean, this is the new world! Equestria! Who knows what can happen?...mmnn..."

You thought about Discord again. "......sorry for laughing at you...I guess..." With that, your eyes begin to grow heavy.

You didn't even need to get in the quilts. the magical warmth that enveloped you from the bed was enough to keep you soothed and comfortable.

The night passes to the day. In your sleep, you can feel a prod and a poke, making you jerk and slowly awaken. "Dad..don't do that..that's annoying.."

You feel more poking. "Dad stop, come on."

"Dad? is he alright Applebloom?"

you feel more shaking, and voices… "Ah dunno, ah hope he wasn't sleeping in the clubhouse all night. It gets really cold"

"...Dad?" you murmured

"Boy, he sure is a heavy sleeper.."

Those voices...those weren't Discord. You immediately open your eyes. Seeing three familiar fillies over you.

"GYAAAH!" You jump backwards and drag yourself along your back to a corner. "WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING IN MY ROOM?!"

All three of them. Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. Were confused and looked around until Applebloom looked at you as if you were a little nuts. "Your room? Anon...this is our clubhouse."

What?! You look around, nothing was familiar. Actually scratch that. It was..but it wasn't your room. "....Of course he would have done that… Why not..." You calm down and rest your back along the wall.

Sweetie Belle looks to Applebloom and whispers "Is he ok? You didn't give him the clubhouse did you?"

Applebloom shook her head "Nah, I didn't. Ah just wonder why he thought we were his dad."

Scootaloo chimed in "Maybe he's craaaaaaazy"

You point to Scootaloo and react angrily "Hey! I heard that!"

Scootaloo snapped back "Well you know this place isn't yours right? You can't just take it you know!"

"I didn't take it! I just ended up here! I Thought it was my room!" You and Scootaloo locked eyes. You were still angry that Discord just threw you into the wolves...err....fillies. Without even a "Good morning" or a breakfast.

Applebloom got in the middle of both your gazes "Hey now, ah think this might just be one biiiig misunderstanding. There's no need to fight."

Sweetie Belle nodded "Besides, you can't fight the customer...then he won't want to take the tour!"

Scootaloo suddenly calmed herself and blinked, realizing her own foolishness "Oh right..haha..I forgot"

...You can't be serious with this…

"Anon, what are ya doin here anyway?" Applebloom asked you

"I dunno, I was sleeping on my bed. And then I woke up here."

Sweetie Belle rubbed the bottom of her muzzle "Sudden changes in locations? That sounds like a mystery to me."

Scootaloo joined in "Yeah, that's really weird. I've never heard of something like that happening"

Sweetie Belle went into deep thought "Hrmmm… Maybe if we can solve the mystery! We can get our Cutie Marks in"

Scootaloo smiled and agreed "Yeah!"

Applebloom turned to them, gestured them to calm themselves "Hold on girls! We still gotta try being tour guides first!"

They both look to her. "Oh, right." They say at the same time.

You put a hoof to your face and shake your head. "...This is gonna be a long day."

Chapter 10

View Online

Applebloom stepped up a little past the other two to do some kind of "official" ...thing..or something. "Howdy Anon, Welcome to Cutie Mark Tours! We'll be your tour guides! I'm Applebloom, but ah… you already knew that.”

Sweetie Belle then stepped up and gave you a cute smile "And I'm Sweetie Belle, it's nice to meet you Anon. I'll give you the scoop on any place you really really wanna know about! Like the Carousel boutique!"

Then Scootaloo stepped up "And I'm Scootaloo...I uhh… umm… Applebloom… what was my line?"

Applebloom turned to her as sweetie belle did a facehoof, shaking her head "...Info on other ponies Scootaloo, Ya know, like Rainbow Dash"

Scootaloo nodded and laughed nervously "Oh right, eheh" She turned to you with and gave you a big smile "I do that."

Christ… They rehearsed it… and still failed. "Hello...girls..I guess. Um. I'm Anon, and I'm… your customer."

You didn't know what to say. You just went with it the best you can. The faster you get it over with. the better. Sweetie Belle went and opened the door out of the clubhouse as Applebloom and Scootaloo led you out.

Applebloom noting your less than enthused expression. "Come on Anon, ya don't have to be scared. We'll make sure nothin' bad happens to you."

Scared… Right. Well… at least they weren't being assholes. You thought maybe you should lighten up. They didn't know any better. They didn't know you're real self. And at least they were trying. I mean hell, you watched enough episodes. You knew they were given hell by two fucking assholes for not having tattoos on their fucking asses.

You took a small breath. "Yeah, I guess I am a little nervous. Ponyville is really new to me. I just don't want to get lost. Thanks for the tour, by the way."

Applebloom smile became brighter from your words "Well we won't let nothin', and ah mean nothin', happen to ya! Ain't that right girls?”

All four of you walked out as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle agreed with Applebloom. "And besides, I've been getting better with my magic. If anything happens. I'm sure I can handle it." Sweetie Belle said, a hint of arrogance in her voice as she looked up proudly.

"And I know a few moves I learned from Rainbow Dash, I may not be able to fly yet. But I can fight! So don't worry about any bad guys showing up! You're safe with us!" Scootaloo gave a small buck and flitted her wings for a short hovering kick.

Ok… That's kind of cute. You doubted there was any danger. But, they were dedicated. And didn't want you to be hurt. It was endearing to say the least. They marched in front of you as you kept pace. It was a little difficult as you weren't 100% on actual long distance walking. And they were going on a vigorous pace. The three of you stop by at Sweet Apple Acres… again. You can see Big Mac working in the distance.

Applebloom spoke up first "This here is Sweet Apple acres! This is where the Apples-"

You stop her, raising your hoof "Umm.. Applebloom. I already know about this place. I was here yesterday, remember?"

Applebloom blushed and smiled, she forgot about that. "Eheh.. oops."

Sweetie Belle hopped up "that means you get to see the Carousal boutique next! come on!" She hopped up and started leading the way ahead of the rest of you.

You stifled a chuckle. Ok, watching them on TV was a little annoying. But actually being part of it was cute and nice. You could actually really get the vibes that they are trying their best.
You all arrive at Rarity's as Sweetie Belle rushes up and points to it with her hooves, putting on a big smile.

"This is the Carousal Boutique, Anon! The very center of fashion and style in all of Equestria! Ponies from all around come here to see my sister, Rarity! Hold your applause! Because you have yet to see the wonders that lay inside!" Sweetie Belle then looked to Applebloom and Scootaloo "How was that?”

They both clopped their hooves together. "Perfect!"

Sweetie Belle suddenly panicked. "No, I said hold your applause! HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE!"

You chuckled. These three...geez. This isn't nearly as bad as you thought. Sweetie Belle noticed your chuckle and seemed to have thought you weren't impressed. And tried a recovery "Ahrmm.. Umm. A-anyway... Why don't we take a step inside? Shall we?"

Sweetie Belle opened the door slowly. Then she suddenly looked to you with a serious face. "Oh… Anon..Dooooooooon't touch anything ok? I don't want my sister to get upset."

You raised your hoof to make a "ok" gesture… But you didn't have fingers, so you just sorta waved. "Gotcha."

The four of you go inside. And what you see is nothing short but perfection in the art of style… Well, that's what you thought. But what the hell do you know? It's not like you knew shit about pony style. Mannequins in various dresses,saddles, and hats. Threads,spindles, chests, and various high quality material as far as the eye can see.

You looked around. You wanted to touch some of the material to feel it's quality. But Sweetie Belle warned you not to. And if Rarity was around... "This is pretty amazing stuff. Looking at all these clothes. I kinda hope your sister can make me an outfit one day… Speaking of, is she here?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head "Nope, she's busy collecting gems with Spike. But if you’re thinking of touching anything, don't. My sister can tell if something got touched… truuuusst me."

Right...ugh. but the urge was growing each time it was mentioned. You inched over to a dress that seemed to be a work in progress. As Sweetie Belle started to lose herself in some sort of History speech of the boutique. Scootaloo and Applebloom, lost themselves at looking at a few of the dresses.

You eye the dress. It had a nice sun bonnet with a blue ribbon. Hoof sleeves seemed incomplete. The dress itself was blue as well, with some blue sparkly gems on it. But it didn't seem complete.

You take a swift look around. Nopony is paying attention… You stare at it more intently as you bring your hoof slowly towards it. Just one touch… One touch…

You gently rub your hoof along the side of the dress ...Oh… Good lord… So soft, clean… smooth… silky… You may not know what is truly high quality, but this… this had to be the highest quality regardless.

"......and so now that my sister is partnered with Sapphire Shores. That makes bus-..Anon, are you paying attention?" Sweetie Belle looks over to you.

Oh shit!

You quickly turn around and salute. "Y-yup! was just looking at this dress. I-it looks pretty nice."

Scootaloo moved closer to you to take a look at it herself. She didn't seem impressed. "Anon… it's not even done yet. It doesn't even look that good."

Sweetie Belle giggled at that remark. "Scootaloo, if my sister heard you say that. She'd probably use you as a pin cushion or something. Haha!"

All three of them giggled. You escaped also saw nothing funny about being used as a "pin cushion". But chuckled anyway as to not seem contrary.

"My turn My turn! Get ready Anon, We're going to the greatest spot in ALL of Ponyville!"

"Twilight's castle?"

Scootaloo shook her head, then made some sort of heroic pose… thing "Ppfft, no! We’re going to the house of the greatest pony who ever lived EVER!" She suddenly hopped up in excitement "RAINBOW DASH!"

Somehow this tour was seeming less like a tour and more like a "Let's go visit these fillies favorite places" sorta thing. You also felt the urge to say "Rainbow Dash isn't so great". both to see Scootaloo's reaction and because she was topcunt… But you kept your mouth shut. You didn't want to ruin their fun.

You followed them once again. You were trying to remember… Was Rainbow Dash's house in Ponyville? You remember it being off to the side of the town..but whatever. Not like you knew the city limits.

You actually started thinking of the dicktastic duo. You kind of wanted to try putting them in your place. You wondered how much you could get away with. You couldn't hit them. No doubt hitting Diamond Tiara would lead into some terrible repercussions due to her rich father. Cursing at them? No… they'd just call you a stupid silly poneanderthal. Shit… Fuck, you got nothing.

Applebloom noticed you lost in thought and inched slowed down to walk alongside you. "You ok Anon? you aren't bored, are ya?”

You shook your head. "Nah, just thinking about a few things. Sorry if I don't seem like I'm enjoying myself. I'm not the type to just hop around all excited."

Applebloom noted this, and looked deeper into your eyes "But ya are enjoyin' the tour, right?" You nod. making her beam, beam, beam.

"Yeah!... but" She tilted her head in confusion “Why do ya look like yer not enjoyin' yourself then, is what ya thinking about bad or somethin'?" She suddenly frowned "Yer not thinking about yer parents are ya? yer real ones?"

You shook your head, and gave her a smile. "Nah, just thinking of some things to do now that I'm in Ponyville. There's a lot of things I wanna do. Things I'd never thought I'd get the chance to do… ever. It's overwhelming."

Applebloom gave you a small nudge with her body "No worries Anon, if ya ever need anything or wanna do somethin' the Cutie Mark Crusaders will be there! We wouldn't mind at all if ya hung out with us… You know, it'd be a lot simpler if you were a Cuuuutie Mark Crusader. Don'tcha think?"

You look at her, and hold back a sigh. She was persistent. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Even if you couldn't get your Cutie Mark. You wouldn't have to worry about not having any friends or being alone. Even if you were smarter than them. They were positive, endearing, cute, and they didn't hate you… That last part being a definite plus.

You chuckle. "I'll think about it Applebloom."

You give her a reassuring smile. It seems to fill her with energy as she skips and hops ahead to tell her two friends that you might as well have said yes… even if you didn't. You laugh again though. this was a huge contrast to human children. it was comical.

Scootaloo seemed to get more excited with every step. "Come on! We're almost there!"

You look back, yup. The town was beind you. Not too far off. But enough. You look ahead, and you could already see it. Rainbow Dash's ridiculously nice looking cloud house.

You all eventually finally arrive. Scootaloo takes her turn as she stands under RD's house and points straight up "Ahrm.. Witness, Anon, the greatness that is RAINBOW DASH… 's house."

You look up, it was pretty great. You whistle to it's beauty and splendor "Wow, I gotta admit. It's really something to see."

Scootaloo smirked and nodded "Of course it is, It's the greatest place ever! And you’re in for a treat Anon, Because I happen to know Rainbow Dash is here, right now!"

That… seemed irksome. "How do you know that, Scootaloo? did you follow her or something?"

Scootaloo nodded. "Yuuuup!"

...Creepy. "So, am I gonna get to meet her or something? I dunno, I don't feel like I should, she's pretty great." You just didn't want to meet her at all. Not at all. You actually wanted to go to Sugarcube Corner.

Scootaloo waved her hoof at you "Don't worry Anon, Rainbow Dash is super cool. You're gonna love her, trust me!"


Sweetie Belle looked up "How are you going to get her attention Scootaloo? it's not like we can't fly up there."

Scootaloo suddenly froze up, then looked down, saddened "...Oh right… I… didn't think of that."

Applebloom however, stepped between them and smiled "Ah know! If we all hollar, she's sure to hear us and come down!"

Scootaloo then perked up. "Great idea Applebloom! Yeah! Let's do it!"

...Oh christ. Before they even line up, you put your head down and cover your ears. This was going to hurt.

"RAINBOW DASH! RAINBOW DASH! RAINBOW DASH!" They yelled. All three in unison.

You could still hear it… oyyyggghhh.

Then, you hear it. They began to cheer. You slowly look up as you see it. The flying blue blur, the toppest of cunts herself.

Rainbow Dash!

Chapter 11

View Online

Rainbow Dash wasted no time upon exiting her home as she hovered in place for a moment. And then plummeted down at a sudden ridiculous velocity. The fillies gasped, but of course… you knew better.

Rainbow Dash, despite her quick speed, manages to stop on a dime right before hitting the ground and gently plants her front hooves first. And then looks at the fillies with a smirk "Did somepony call for me? Heheh"

The three cheered at the "amazing" sight. Scootaloo greeting her immediately and asking how she managed to stop so suddenly.

Rainbow Dash rubbed her front hoof on her chest and then nodded to herself with pride. "Easy, I just pushed my wings with enough force to stop my fall right in time. I know, It was awesome. But what do you expect when it's me?"

You rolled your eyes. You were sure other pegasi could do that. The three fillies however were all over her like white on rice after that display.

"Woah woah, hehe. Calm down girls. relax. Trust me, you want to save all that energy when I perform at the Friendship Fair....whenever Twilight gets that set up." Dash said.

Friendship Fair? hrn....You wondered if that was what Twilight was working on when you had visited her with Discord. She did seem busy.

"Are you going to the castle right now Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo looked up to her with lost eyes, she was a fanatic "You don't have to go right now, right? We want you to meet somepony!"

Rainbow Dash looked around, and spotted you sitting away while you just looked at her. "Oh hey… a little colt. Let me guess," Rainbow Dash looked down at the three "Got ya a new member to the club huh? Weird, never seen him before."

Applebloom took a moment to trot behind and suddenly push you closer to the group.

"H-hey, what are you doing?!" You protest.

"Come on Anon, we didn't bring ya to just sit away from us. Come on and meet Rainbow Dash."

You tried to push yourself in the opposite direction. But damn, Applebloom was strong for a girl. "I-I'm fine where I'm at! Come on!"

You struggled to no avail as Applebloom pushed you right up to Rainbow Dash… God fucking dammit. Now you had to talk to her.

Rainbow Dash just looked down at you, and her cocky smirk turned to a softer smile "Yo, you don't have to be shy ya know. I won't bite. So what's your name, squirt?"

"It's Anon." You just look up at her with unsure eyes. If you had to be this close to her. You had to continue your "actor" role for now.

Rainbow Dash seemed confused by that name "Anon? what? Never heard that kind of name before. Where ya from?"


Rainbow Dash looked puzzled by that statement as she looked around. "A little far away from home, ain't ya?"

Applebloom chimed in "He's an orphan who recently got adopted! So, he's livin' in Ponyville now! Isn't that great?! "

Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement, and wraped her leg around you and brought you closer for a quick hug "You bet that's great. Ponyville is one of the greatest places in Equestria...Mainly because I live there, but ya know. That's obvious." Then she looked down at you "So, Anon. You’re just in time. I'm in a really good mood. And I wouldn't mind showing you and the others a trick I've been working on for the fair."

Scootaloo once again, got excited. She was elated that she was going to get a personal first peak at Rainbow Dash's show. "Really Rainbow Dash?! You'd show us?"

" Let's just call it a special "Welcome to Ponyville" present" Rainbow Dash winked "Of course, gotta generate some super awesome hype somehow. Besides, I think Anon could use a little Rainbow Dash in his life."

You wanted to sigh. But you didn't. You didn't want to cause any trouble. You also came to the realization that you knew an entire board of people who would have creamed themselves to hear that statement from the pone herself.

You minced your words. And did your best to speak without sounding frustrated. "You're too kind Rainbow Dash… I'd love to see this trick. Being an orphan, I don't get to see a lot of cool things..."

The truth was you could care less. You were never a fan of any kind of air show and you've seen enough fireworks to last you a lifetime. Things didn't change. RD to you was just a meatbag replacement for an airplane with a grating personality. And you've watched the show enough times that even personally seeing her drop from her house to the ground was nothing special. No, you more appreciated Music, Art, Magic… and fire and explosions.

"Ohhhhhhh boy, you all are in for something super duper AWESOME!" Rainbow Dash shakes her flank as she positions herself to jet off into the sky. "...and..away..I..GO!"

She sprang off, with enough force that the grass spread from the small shockwave she generated. You all looked up at her as she started to fly about in the clouds until they started to follow her like lost kittens. She maintained a breakneck speed as she occasionally made a sharp U-turn to bounce and kick the clouds following her to combine them together as they continuously gave chase until they became that of a snake.

Rainbow Dash then suddenly flew upwards in a quick burst of speed, leaving the snake cloud behind as she looped behind it and flew through it. Opening it up like a pipe. And she continued to do this, sometimes spinning like a drill through it.

Eventually the clouds started to turn dark and stormy. The CMC ooohhh'd and ahhh'd While Sweetie Belle got a little extra worried and called out for RD to be careful. Scoots of course was so riveted it looked like she was going to shit herself.

You just stared. You just couldn't get excited for this. Perhaps it was bias. Perhaps not. But it just didn't captivate you.

Soon enough however, the cloud was shooting off lightning every which way. And yet RD passed through each time, unharmed. You looked over at the CMC. Each one now were getting worried and scared. With one final pass, Rainbow Dash once again, hit a ridiculous speed as the cloud started to burst from behind you. Creating spark balls that exploded in mid air. And once she reached the tip of the cloud pipe. It exploded with a huge shocking blast that sent sparks flying everywhere. It was a giant fireworks show that made the CMC cheer in wonder and delight… meh… you could have done that if you were a unicorn. Besides. You've seen fireworks do all of that except for the electric orb thing.

Rainbow Dash slowed down and gently brought herself back down to the earth. and gave all four of you an arrogantly prideful grin ".....And that's what I call "shock and awe". ehehe" She giggled at her own pun.

"THAT WAS AMAZIN'!" Applebloom called out



"....ummm… yup, that was pretty cool." You didn't sound nearly as enthused as your fellow peers.

Scootaloo immediately took notice and took offense as well "Pretty cool?! PRETTY COOL?!" She hopped over to you and flailed her front hooves upwards like a mad man, looking at you with crazy excited eyes "THAT WAS ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING THINGS EVER! HOW COULD YOU NOT GET EXCITED?!"

You gulped, holy shit. you had to lean back as to not be hit by her flailing limbs. "Hey relax, it was just pretty cool to me. Besides, uhhm… umm… you know..I..I haven't eaten. Kind of hard to get excited when you’re hungry… you know?"

Scootaloo immediately calmed down hearing that. Boy she felt silly. "Oh… why didn't you eat breakfast?"

"....I...didn't get the chance."

Rainbow Dash was overhearing the conversation and had noted your lack of enthusiasm. She was up to something as she stepped up to the two of you "tch, or maybe you saw a flaw the others didn't see. Alright then, I think it's time for a little classic. Anon, are you ready… for the… SONIC RAINBOOM?!"

Scootaloo jumped up and cheered "YEAH! SHE'S GONNA DO A SONIC RAINBOOM!"

...That wasn't going to do anything. But why not. You should at least experience her signature move. "Yeah, sure. Let's see it."

While the others were unaffected. Scootaloo seemed shocked that you were so nonchalant about this. And Rainbow Dash herself seemed a little shocked that you weren't jumping up and down. "Do you know a pony named Maud by any chance?"

...Oh god… come on, you weren't that stoic were you?

You shook your head "Nope."

Rainbow Dash pointed to the sky "Look, just make sure to look right there. Because that's the point where I'll hit the "AWESOME" and magic will happen. Trust me, once you see'll wonder what you have been doing with yourself your whole life." Gee Dash, way to hype it up in a positive light.

"I'm ready." You kept your eye at the point Dash pointed to as she again prepped herself and flew to ridiculous heights. In the next moment, she went from going straight up, to straight down. And as she reached terminal velocity. She managed. Right at the point she had showed you. To break the sound barrier and produce the Sonic Rainboom.

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle of course cheered. But Scootaloo didn't. She was fixated on you, and the fact your dulled expression hadn't changed. You just weren't impressed. Even seeing the Sonic Rainboom in person. It was the same thing you saw a million times before. It was just a Sonic Boom with color. It wasn't really magical as it was just a natural occurrence with some of Rainbow's colory… thing.

When Rainbow Dash came near. You decided it was time to just clap and ACT excited. You just wanted her to be pleased so you could move on with the tour. You also hoped it'd please Scootaloo. Unbeknownst to you however. She can already see through your ruse.

"Woo! That was super amazing! Gee Rainbow Dash! That was the coolest thing ever!" You said in false delight

"I know, I know. I should have realized nothing can top the classics. Well, I gotta get going. I'm glad you all enjoyed the show. Now remember, don't tell anypony about my new trick. If anypony noticed from far away and asks about it. Just tell em I was just working on a local storm. Got it?" You all nodded. "Oh yeah, And Anon? Welcome to Ponyville. You're gonna love it here. Promise."

Well… ok. That was actually nice of her. Still. In anycase, you all say your goodbyes as Rainbow Dash hurries off to Twilight's castle.

"Well… that was really something, huh?” You mention

Sweetie Belle nodded "Yup! I can't believe we got to see a preview of one of her new tricks! See Anon, one of the perks of being a Cutie Mark Crusader is getting to see stuff like this."

Nice angle Sweetie Belle, but you weren't that easy. "Yeah, gotta admit. It's a great perk."

Applebloom however. when she peered over to Scootaloo. Noticed she didn't have a cheerful expression. and instead seemed fixated on you. "Scootaloo? What's the matter? Why ya lookin at Anon like that?"

Scootaloo said nothing as she walked up to you, and brought her face to yours. Looking dead center of your eyes,

You got nervous and blushed. W-was she going to kiss you?! You weren't ready for this! OH GOD!? "U-um..S-s-scootaloo?"

But she didn't kiss you. Instead, she spoke. Her voice sharp as daggers "You weren't excited at all, were you?"



"Don't play dumb. I was looking at you during the Sonic Rainboom. You didn't even smile. or get blown away or anything. You weren't blown away at all. So what gives?"

Oh shit… she was looking at you? Fuck. You were sure she was looking in the sky the whole time. You step back to make some space between you and her. "I was just stunned I guess. I never saw anything like that before"

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle noticed their friend suddenly seemed agitated. Applebloom stepped closer to Scootaloo and grabbed her upper shoulder gently "Hey Scootaloo, relax. He looked excited to me."

"No, he wasn't. During the Rainboom he just looked at it like it was nothing! He insulted Rainbow Dash! He lied to her!"

Oh for fucks sake. She was going to make a big deal out of this?!

Applebloom looked to you "Is...that true Anon?"

...No hiding it now. Scootaloo caught you. You took a breath. "Yeah it's true...look, I don't see why it's a big deal. I just wasn't impressed. Aren't I entitled to that opinion?"

Applebloom nodded "Well yeah, I'd think so. It's just… kinda odd you would lie about it, I guess"

Sweetie Belle then stepped in "I know! You just didn't want to insult anypony. Right Anon?"

that was part of it yeah. Sounded good anyway. So you nodded. That should end it right there...
it didn't.

"How could you not be impressed?! Everypony who is anypony is impressed by the Sonic Rainboom! Heck, that was THE big reason Rainbow Dash and her friends got their cutie marks! It's that amazing Anon, so how could you?!"

Applebloom tried to calm her friend down "Hey Scootaloo, ya gotta relax. Anon just ain't impressed by it. Sometimes somepony’s got different tastes. No reason to get all bent outta shape."

Scootaloo looked to Applebloom in anger "But it's Rainbow Dash! He lied to her too! And he did it so easily, What if he's lying about other things?!"

Sweetie Belle joined in in trying to calm her down. "Come on, Scootaloo. Don't you think you're overreacting a little? You heard him. He just didn't want to hurt anypony's feelings."

You nodded along. "Yeah, I mean. Look how bent out of shape you are Scootaloo. I saw how big you were into Rainbow Dash and I didn't want to upset you. I guess I failed at that, huh?" You tried to sound as sincere as possible to defuse the situation. And looking at Scootaloo, she seemed to be relenting. But she still looked upset.

"Yeah… Well, you shouldn't lie then..mnn. I just don't see how you couldn't be impressed..."

"Well, I am from know. Even my name is weird, hahahahaha!" You faked a big laugh to try to get her to chuckle. She didn't. "haha...ha...hrm..ahrm ahrm...u-umm"

Sweetie Belle interjected quickly "Aha! umm! Hey, You know what we all need? Some lunch. How about it everypony?! Doesn't that sound great? Didn't you say you were hungry Anon?"

Sweetie belle for the save. "Y-yeah, I didn't get any breakfast. Any place in mind?"

"Well, there's a hayburger place back in Ponyville. We can all go there for a bite to eat! You're hungry too. right Applebloom? Scootaloo?"

Applebloom nodded "I ahm sorta hungry after all that excitement. It might be what we need to cheer the mood up to. What about you Scootaloo?"

Scootaloo shook her head "No..I'm not that hungry. But if you wanna go. Don't let me stop you. I'll...umm" It took Scootaloo a moment, she was trying to think of a reason not to come along. "See if I can't check out what Rainbow Dash is doing. I wanna see more of her tricks."

Applebloom cocked and eyebrow and gave her a smile "Scootaloo, if you know all the tricks now, then how are ya gonna get excited for when she does em at the fair?"

Scootaloo shrugged "I'm not gonna look at all of them. Besides, maybe I can help with a few. I got some pretty good ideas."

Applebloom nodded "..I guess, just don't get in trouble or nothin' alright?"

Scootaloo nodded. In truth, she was just leaving because she didn't want to be around you at the moment. Petty reasons to be sure. You had an inkling that was it. But you believed she was just leaving for Rainbow Dash as well.

So the party split. Scootaloo headed for the castle while you followed Sweetie Belle and Applebloom to get some eats. You were internally begging for Discord to pick you up at some point. You didn't have any money. So you had to hope they had some to pay for you. But mostly, you just wanted to leave. Scootaloo being upset rubbed you the wrong way. You felt a little bad. But you couldn't get emotional. She was being a dipshit for stupid reasons. You couldn't give in. She should have learned to just respect your fucking decision. You weren't going to get all feelsy just because she got a screw loose. Rainbow Dash bought it at least. So you didn't have to get any shit from her. The other two though? You partially felt they defended you to keep the tour going strong. Gotta get them cutie marks.

As the three of you entered town. You looked around the area to take in the sights and marvel at the fact you were in a town full of talking equines. Though, you had gotten mostly used to it. You did feel a little bubble of excitement whenever you saw a BG character you recognized.

You also kept an eye out for Sugar Cube Corner, if anything. Meeting Pinkie herself would raise your spirits most definitely. And you were sure the others wouldn't protest. But alas you didn't see it along any the path. But you did see the burger joint. It was the one where Twilight was eating like a little pig.

Then suddenly. You can hear a voice coming from behind. It was familiar… enough to make your blood boil. "Well Well, if it isn't the Cutie Markless Cru-Failures!"

Chapter 12

View Online

The three of you turn. There they were. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon at 6 o'clock.
These two...THESE TWO. These two were one of the reasons you even watched CMC episodes. You just wanted to see them get BTFO without recovery. But it never really happened..or worse. The CMC would even be lulled by them. You REAAALLLY REALLY HATED these two. You kept your cool however. If you just lost your shit now, then it'd seem awkward. Just… keep calm…

Diamond Tiara started to walk along the side as Applebloom and Sweetie Belle stopped.
"Whatyya want Diamond Tiara? Can't ya see we're busy?" Applebloom sneered, she wasn't at all pleased with their presence.

Diamond Tiara looked at your group then chuckled. "Oh nothing, I just noticed you're down a certain blank flank."

Silver Spoon walked along the other side, stopping next to you "Maybe she flew home… oh wait..."

They both started to laugh. You could already see Applebloom getting angry just from that remark. Sweetie Belle seemed to be surveying the situation. She just let Applebloom talk for now. "Ya take that back! Scootaloo is just elsewhere. That's all. Why can't ya'll just leave us alone?"

"Oh we would. I don't want to associate with you. But I noticed a new pony following you two around. A blank flank as well sadly, but that's because we think it's only from hanging around you two." Diamond remarked

Silver spoon nodded in agreeance "Yeah, we think he'd do much better if he was with us."

Sweetie Belle chimed in "Go away! We saw him first. Tell em Anon"

For once, You really wanted to join in, but you went into this cautiously. Now that you actually are encountering. these two for real… You needed to assess the situation. "H-hey now, I don't even know these two. I mean. Why is everypony being so hostile all of a sudden?"

"Hostile? Us? We were just noticing that you were new, that's all. You don't even have a cutie mark." Diamond Tiara said as she eyed your flank. her voice less sharp when speaking about you.

"So what, are ya gonna make fun of him too? Come on, let's just go back" Applebloom said. But Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon cut her off a she began to turn.

"Don't be hasty Applebloom, we didn't come here to cause trouble. We just thought it was funny. I mean, didn't you know? You can't get your mark just because you have a cutie with you."

Silver Spoon stepped behind Diamond Tiara and looked over to you "Yeah, He's better off with us. If he just sticks with you then he'll just be a big loser."

Cutie?..right. You didn't even need to question it. Even if it sounded Gary Stu-ish. Discord made sure to make your form cute. If only to lull Fluttershy even more into the whole "Father Son" dealio. Seemed it might cause some other effects as well. Still… even then… not these two bitches.

"Hey, they aren't losers. They are pretty cool! I mean Sweetie Belle and Applebloom are related to the Elements of Harmony. That seems pretty cool to me." Ha, that should do it. They had a big boner for Princess Twilight. and the rest were pretty much her council. Here comes the win baby, yeah!

Diamond Tiara giggled at you and then walked slowly, giving you a bedroom stare before gently rubbing under your muzzle gently with her hoof. "Awww, how adorable. They've fooled you into thinking that actually means something. But in fact it just means they are even bigger losers since they don't even have anywhere close to the talent their sisters have. Scootaloo at least doesn't have to live with that shame. Don't worry… Anon, was it? We can offer you so much more than these walking jokes."

You blushed for a mere moment before stepping back. You immediately felt disgusted with yourself. Not only had your words backfired. But you actually felt a nuzzling warmth from her touch.

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle stepped in front of you. Sweetie Belle spoke… venom in her voice. "Step off Diamond Tiara, he doesn't want to go with you."

"So you say. Why don't you let him decide." She batted her eyelashes at you, and gave you a gentle, but cruel smile "Come on Anon, we can go have fun at the pool and have ice cream. And all the food you can eat. None of that slop these two were offering. Then we can maybe play some games… Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Silver Spoon stepped behind you away from Applebloom's and Sweetie Belle's view and gently rubbed her hoof along your spine "Come on Anon, we have money and power and all sorts of things. These losers don't have anything like we do. Just listen to what Diamond Tiara is saying and you'll realize how right she is. She's always right"

Ngh… dammit. At anytime, AT ANYTIME. Girls touching you would have been the bees knees. But fuck if this wasn't making you uncomfortable. Still… if playing a long didn't get these fucks away. Then you had to take a more direct approach. Because fuck them, you were going to see red and kill a niggapone if this kept up. No, it was time to do this like a goddamn human.

You gave a traitorous smile. "You know… you might be right. Maybe I should go with you two"

Diamond Tiara's own grin became vicious as she looked over to Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, who gasped in horror "Thought so… Nopony wants to hang out with losers"

You turn your gaze to Diamond Tiara completely. "I agree actually… but I am a pony who demands insight. I mean, if I don't hang out with you. How else will I know the level of degree of loserdom that you both have."

"Well… that can… Wait what?!" Diamond Tiara was caught by surprise. Silver spoon gasped at your impertinence to her friend. "What did you say to me?!"

You didn't falter. no, you weren't going to do this like some Saturday morning cartoon. It was time to crush them. "You heard me. for all of 3 minutes, being around you two made me realize I'd rather be around some sewage. At least that's cleaner."

Sweetie Belle and Applebloom stood in shock. Amazed by your words.

"How dare you! What gives you the right to talk like that to me? You're just blank flank gutter trash! Even you're name is stupid sounding!" Diamond Tiara barked with anger in her tone

You couldn't smile. You could feel your rage and arrogance compounding into one.

"I don't even care about my name or getting a cutie mark. Hate to break it to you. But I happen to think cutie marks are actually not that important. What I think what is important is my friends."

Diamond Tiara scoffed, but it was evident she was still pissed. "How stupid are you? He's stupid. Don't you think Silver Spoon?"

Her friend nodded "Yeah, I don't u-understand how anypony could think that" Silver Spoon was buckling. She could see you weren't being phased… she couldn't understand it. How could a pony not care about a cutie had to be rusing, she thought.

"Maybe I am… but at least i'm not black hearted, little stains who for all their worth need to have their daddy and mommy do things for them like freaking tumors. Oh, and that remark about Scootaloo… you best take that back"

"Or what? What are you going to do? You can talk all you want. But we are still better than you!" Diamond Tiara tried taking the offensive, Silver Spoon was getting more worried by the moment.

You gave… an intimidating evil smirk. When Applebloom and Sweetie Belle saw it. Internally, they didn't even recognize you. "I'll smash you to bits. I feel… it's been a long time coming. I don't even care that you are girls. I'll turn you both into pulp. I don't really care. So… take it back."

Silver Spoon shook and hid behind Diamond Tiara. She's never met a colt so violent sounding. "D-diamond...m-maybe we should apologize...I-I-"

Diamond Tiara looked at her, and growled "Don't be a wimp! He's obviously bluffing. Only an idiot would strike me!"

"Try me… Go ahead… Try me. I don't care who you are. I'm not the kind of guy you should be messing with" You've always wanted this. You hated bully characters so damn much… especially ones who never got their comeuppance… It was almost fetish-tier on the level of vengeance you had. You wondered if those from the board back at home felt the same.

Diamond Tiara smirked, and walked towards you "Heh, go ahead. Hit me. But once you do, my Daddy will have you shipped off to wherever you came from. It's obvious you aren't from Ponyville. We'll send you, and your parents down to the worst corners of Equestria if you even THINK of hitting me"

Oh… That’s rich… she didn't even realize your circumstances. Might as well let her in on it. "Ahh, I see. Well, it'd just be my dad then. I'm an orphan"

Diamond Tiara smirked at you, she was being arrogant "You think I care that you are an orphan? Pleeeease, you need to know your place. So why don't you back down, and go off with your stupid friends. Because I am not apologizing"

You don't even blink. "I'm gonna give you one last warning. Because I'm going to let you in on something. I… Don't… Care. You can't do anything to me and I can make you AND your friend into bloody punching bags."

Silver Spoon began to shake Diamond Tiara "Come on, let's get out of here! He's crazy!"

Diamond Tiara threw her off, knocking her down. No way she was gonna let anyone. especially some orphan no nothing. Bring her down. "Do you really think you're invincible? Do you even know who my daddy is?"

You chuckle, oh yes. Here it comes. "Do you know who mine is?"

She rolled her eyes. "Who? Doughnut Joe?"

You say it, in a cruelly quiet voice. "Discord..."

Everypony. Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, Silver Spoon, and now… even Diamond Tiara. Gasp in shock.

"Y-you're lying! That freak is a heartless moron who can't even do anything a-anymore." Diamond stuttered.

That was it. the fear in her eyes. Oh man, you were lapping it up. Having human intellect and logic was so juicy right now. Trumping Saturday morning logic was great.

"I'm sure you believe that. Now then… how about that apology, huh? Or do you and your "Daddy" want to spend the rest of your lives as grapes?"

Silver Spoon freaked out and screamed "I'm sorry! I won't even tell anypony! I Swear!" and ran away, tail literally between her legs.

Ohh that’s good… It might be pretty bad if anypony said you were threatening another pony. "Your turn… Oh yeah, Silver Spoon might have a point, It might be unwise to tell anypony that I threatened you. You wouldn't want to escalate things now, would you?"

Diamond Tiara was sweating bullets. "You can't...Princ-Princess Twilight wouldn't a-allow it"

"...only if she finds out. I wonder if my dad is watching right now..." You didn't know.

Diamond Tiara gulped hard… that was it "F-fine..."


"I-I'm sorry...about what I said...and I won't tell...daddy..or anypony else"

" leave me and my friends alone."

Diamond Tiara nodded, and walked off. Trying to look as dignified as possible. OH SHIT..THAT WAS SWEET! HAHAHAHAH!

With the pressure and anger off. You began to laugh like a madman. Holy shit..That was awesome!

"Did you girls see that! Holy...OH BOY..You gotta admit! That was the"

As you turn, you begin to slow on your words as Applebloom and Sweetie Belle look at you… horrified on what they just heard and witnessed. Dead silent.

....Oh fuck...

Chapter 13

View Online

Did you go too far? Applebloom and Sweetie Belle remain stunned for just another moment before they unison. “Anon..t-that was.."

"Terrible" Says Applebloom, her face full of concern and worry of the situation.

"INCREDIBLE!" Sweetie Belle cries out. what she just saw.

"What? Sweetie Belle. Ya can't be serious about that… Did ya see what ah just saw?" Applebloom turned to her friend. confused as to her opposite response.

"Did you? Anon just did the impossible! He got Diamond Tiara to shut up!"

Ha… At least Somepony fucking appreciated it. Goddammit Applebloom...what the fuck.

"Yeah but, did ya see his face. Did ya hear what he said? He said he'd beat her up! That's not the crusader way… That just makes us as bad as her"

What...says who? You interject. "Woah woah, hold on. What's this "Crusader way" stuff? I'm not a Crusader yet remember? Besides, I was defending you guys, Scootaloo included"

"Yeah Applebloom, and he did it so well. It was super amazing! Besides, he probably wasn't even serious. I mean, did you hear who he said his dad was? Come on… it was just a trick"

Applebloom didn't seem to think so. Unbeknownst to both you and Sweetie Belle. Applebloom not only believed what you said. But started to think you were lying about other things, like Scootaloo had mentioned before. "Ah don't think it's a trick… Your dad really is Discord, ain't he?" She turns to you, although she looked somber, her eyes looked towards you, searching for answers.

You nod slowly, cringing. You didn't like where this was heading. "Yeah, he is. But… come on, Sweetie Belle is righ-"

You are suddenly cut off by a now shocked Sweetie Belle "SERIOUSLY?! YOUR DAD IS DISCORD?! Woah..."

Applebloom turned to Sweetie Belle, she started to get agitated "Sweetie Belle, can't ya take this a little more seriously?"

Sweetie Belle frowned "Hey Applebloom… come on. What's with you? I really don't see anything wrong here… You weren't being serious with all that stuff, were you Anon?"

You shook your head. You sorta did..maybe. But you weren't going to tell them that. "Of course not, I just wanted to scare them. and it worked! I just didn't like the fact that they were treating you that way. Just over Cutie Marks… It's stupid"

Your ears lower as you frown. You couldn't tell now if you meant your words or if you really were just in a moment… A delicious moment, but a moment nonetheless. And now suddenly. One by one, you were losing the favor of the CMC. The freaking CMC for christ sakes. You started to actually like them and yet somehow, with all your knowledge, you were losing them. You had to make some sort of recovery.

Applebloom stayed silent, and walked over and looked directly into your eyes "Anon... Look into mah eyes. Ah want ya to promise me somethin'"

This was uncomfortable. You looked away from her due to her being so uncomfortably close. But when she asked you. You slowly turned back. And her eyes, they were big, and sad. Dammit why?! Why couldn't she be on the same page as Sweetie Belle?! She seemed on the ball. Applebloom shouldn't be moralfagging this hard.

"W-what is it?"

"Just promise me that everything you told us is the bonafide truth, I'll believe ya. Ah trust ya. But ah just wanna know..." She said.

You couldn't have lied to her too much… You knew ENOUGH about the Apple family. Of course your origin is a giant fib but whatever. If you ran into any trouble. You had enough knowledge of the show to get you out of it. You look directly into her eyes, you keep your justifications in your head so you won't look away.

"Yeah, of course I'm telling the truth. It's just in Phillydelphia, you gotta be a little tougher than the average pony. Ponies there Applebloom, they cheat and gang up on you and beat you up. I wasn't going to fight them… but I wasn't gonna let them hurt you and Sweetie Belle like that."

Sweetie Belle gave you a big smile as she walked near. Then she turned to Applebloom "See? now will you calm down Applebloom? We still need to get something to eat."

You nod. "She's right. Plus remember? all this emotional stuff is probably just from our hungry bellies. We'll feel a lot better after we get something to eat"

"ah… Ahright. Maybe ahm just thinking too much"

Sweetie Belle raised her hoof and knocked on Applebloom's head, giggling "Hehe, definitely. We need to save all that space for more ideas on getting Cutie Marks"

Applebloom smiled and giggled half heartedly. And then turned to ask you one more question. She seemed chipper. That was good. "Anon, ah got one more question, if ya don't mind."

You shrugged. What's one more? "Yeah?"

"What's it like being adopted by Discord?"

Sweetie Bell turned to you, she seemed curious as well. "Yeah! Does he do mean things to you?"

You shrug, this was easy "Nah… well sometimes. But he isn't that bad. He feeds me pretty good and stuff. It's just sometimes he might pull a prank that goes a little too far. Otherwise, I think he's a cool dad."

"That's it? He doesn't curse you or send you into creepy places or anything?" Sweetie Belle asks

You shook your head

"Wow… hrn. Maybe we shouldn't believe all those rumors from school"

Hah… Kids… Superstitious and always talking shit about others. Your thoughts get cut off from your stomach, howling for food.

Applebloom giggled "Maybe we should wait before we ask anymore questions! Come on, before Anon turns into bones!"

Heh… Ok good. she was chipper again. Good good. As long as everyone was in better moods. It's fine. You'd just need to think of a way to win over Scootaloo when the time came.

And with that. the three of you went off to the food court. It was like McDonalds… but with ponies… and hayburgers… yeaaahh…

Applebloom, and then Sweetie Belle made their orders first. Both were nearly identical. Except Applebloom got Appleslices with her hayburger instead of fries. As you saw them pay. You came to the realization that you had no bits…


"Whats the matter Anon?" Sweetie Belle looked over to you.

"Oh boy, ya don't got any bits do ya? How did we forget to ask about that?" Applebloom put her hoof on her face and shook her head.

Before you could even say anything. Sweetie Belle slams some extra bits on the counter "I got it. Another order of Hayburger with fries if you don't mind!"

The cashier pony nodded. Thanked Sweetie Belle like any cashier would. And said their orders would be ready soon. You three found some seats at a table and sat down. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle started to converse with each other first. It seemed they felt somewhat uncomfy not having Scootaloo with them.

Meanwhile you started thinking about the day in general. You started scanning the restaurant for any signs of Discord. Was he watching? If he was, surely he'd have done something by now. Or he just wants you to stew in the mess you were making.

"Hey Anon… How did Discord adopt you anyway? I thought there was some legal stuff you had to do… and he doesn't seem the foal wanting kinda guy" Sweetie Belle asked. Still curious.
Shit… now things were getting difficult. you only had a base idea of what to say. You didn't have it in detail.

"Umm..I dunno what dad is thinking a lot of the time. And I dunno anything about legal stuff.." Time for a big smile. "I'm just glad I have a dad! It's so nice having a home!"

Applebloom smiled "Wow, I always thought Discord was still kinda bad somewhere inside. But ah guess ah was wrong."

Sweetie Belle rubbed her hoof under her muzzle as she thought "Hmmm… Maybe it's because he's part animal? Fluttershy is really good with animals. So maybe she has some weird crazy powers over him or something?"

Applebloom laughed at that. "haha! I never thought of that. Ya remember that cocktrice? Gee, Fluttershy is amazin'"

You nodded. "I agree, Dad took me to meet her on my first day here. She's so nice. I kind of wish she was my mom." Suddenly, Applebloom became stone faced. "Applebloom? ...You ok?”

Applebloom's pupils shifted to your yours "Anon, did ya say you wish she was your mom?"

You look left and white nervously… Awwkkwward… "Y-yeah. Why?"

Applebloom slowly turned to Sweetie Belle "Sweetie Belle, are ya thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

Sweetie Belle looked confused "On what's taking so long with our food?"

"No Sweetie Belle.Ya heard Anon, he wants a mom! And Fluttershy and Discord are good friends… Maybe they can be… more than friends?"

...Oh god… She's not suggesting...

Sweetie Belle shook her head. "Hold on, Wait. Last time we did that. We almost ruined your brother's and miss Cherilee's lives… and ours..."

"Yeah but, this is different! We got a colt on the inside! Maybe, if we manage it, we can get our cutie marks! Cutie Mark Crusader Matchmakers! I think we can do it this time!"

"Say… yeah… we need to plan it of course. All four of us. What do you say Anon?" Sweetie Belle wondered


"H-hold on. I dunno. I-I don't think it's a good idea." You say.

Applebloom gave you a reassuring, confident stare "Come on Anon! It can't be that hard. Discord is only ever super nice to her anyway. He just needs a small push. And now that we know he really is a good guy. ahm willin' to bet it'll be no problem."

...You. Got. To. Be. Kidding. They really, REALLY, were single minded. One moment, some feelsy fest. The next they want to push Discord and Fluttershy into some kind of… thing.

"L-look, I just got adopted and I just wanna settle in. Don't you both think you are rushing things?"

Sweetie Belle thought to herself. "Hrn..maybe you're right."

Applebloom nodded. " how about in a month? We'll have come up with a ton of good plans by then!"

...Dammit. "look girls, I just want to keep things the way they are for a while. Longer than a month. If anything went wrong, it's sort of on me. You know?"

Applebloom frowned "Aww… hmmn… You're right though, I guess we'll have to come up with something else."

..Crisis averted... woo… You took sighed and put your head down. Right when a rather cute unicorn mare waitress was putting down all your food. Giving you a wink as she said to enjoy your meals. You looked at your looked pretty ok. Applebloom and Sweetie Belle was already digging in. You tried Applebloom's method on the burger like you did the cup before. It worked.

As you three ate. You started to think. Maybe it'd be fun to come up with an idea for a cutie mark. Even if the CMC did lead to ACTUAL danger. Everything was always ok by the end of the episode. Maybe that's how things were. And by that account, it might actually be fun.

"Ya know… I was thinking, If we were to get our cutie marks. We'd need to pull off something super amazing. Something nopony else could pull off" You mentioned as you started to bounce the idea of becoming a crusader. They were pretty endearing once you got to know them.

Sweetie Belle swallowed her chunk of hayburger and looked at you. curious. "But what could we do?"

Applebloom smiled "Anon, are ya actually thinking about getting a cutie mark? Does that mean you wanna be a Cutie Mark Crusader?"

...Eh… Why not. It's the least you could do for the trouble you caused. And, the more you interact with them. The better you can integrate.

"...Yeah why not. It might be fun." Both of them were elated as they cheered.

"We gotta go get Scootaloo and tell her the good news!" Sweetie Belle said in excitement

"Yeah, ah bet when she hears how Anon defended her AND that he wants to be a crusader, she'll cheer up in an instant!"

"Let's go tell her now!" Sweetie Belle suggested


You didn't even get a word out. You could only think it as they immediately dashed out, leaving their food behind.

o...k. Well, at least they are easy to please. You look at their food hungrily. "More for me I guess… I mean, if you girls aren't coming baaack." You look at the doors. Only other ponies exit or enter. No sign of Applebloom or Sweetie Belle.

You snicker "Oh yeah baby..more for me."

You lift up Sweetie Belle's half eaten burger. And as you plunge your teeth into it. You only feel the bottom of your other teeth. "huh?..what gives?"

You look… the food was gone. The restaurant. Everything. You were back at the house. "..OH COME ON! I'M STILL HUNGRY!"

Chapter 14

View Online

You look around for just a moment to see if the hayburger had fallen anywhere.
It hadn't. Damn, it actually tasted good. You sit there and ponder for a moment as to think of the reason Discord had teleported you. Then your eyes widened.

"...Oh shit… he probably… uhmm.." You slowly turn, expecting him to be behind you. He's nowhere in sight. "...hrm.."

You take one more moment to orient yourself and begin looking around the living room and kitchen for him… christ the kitchen's a mess. Dirty dishes lined up neatly while the clean ones were strewn all over the place. Grime and dirt along the sink and a bottle of some rather murky soap on the counter.

"Dad… you around?" As you search around the area. you happen upon a door. You can hear train noises coming from behind it. "...That's odd… mnnn… If he's behind there... do I really wanna open it?"

You pondered again. If he was watching, there'd be no escape. Might as well get it over with.

You open the door. What you see behind it is a breathtaking sight. On the floor laid a huge model of what appeared to be most of Equestria. Appleloosa, Ponyville, Manehatten, Canterlot, the Everfree. It was all there. With little models strewn about and some trains going.

Floating above it. working some kind of mechanism was Discord in a conductors hat. He hasn't seemed to notice you. "All aboard the train to Manehatten! Tickets please. And don't worry, there's only a small chance of a raging manticore turning over the train.. Ehehe" He was talking to himself.

You carefully move along the walls as to not crush any of the pieces. fail at this and step on a couple of trees. With a human foot that may have hurt. But hooves man.
Immediately you are magically lifted off the ground and brought to the middle of the room. hovering over the mini-Equestria. Upside down.

"Anon! Can't you be more careful? I'm trying to run a somewhat smooth train company here!"

"U-umm sorry. Umm, so, what's all this? Heh." You were nervous. Either he was seriously playing with this set or he was just going to make you a part of it.

"Oh this silly thing? Just a small hobby I've taken up. Fluttershy says it's good to have one to help one relax. Look, see? it has everything that's essential.” Discord pointed at a few notable locations. such as the Everfree forest and Twilight's castle. They all looked nearly real. As did the little pony figurines. "I can even open them up to move a few of the little models around. Here look!"

He opened up the Canterlot Castle. Sitting on the throne was a mini him with Celestia at his side. "Here's me, Ruling of course. And there's Celestia..and there's Celestia's Doggie bowl!"

Hmm, that's odd. You didn't see Fluttershy anywhere. Maybe the figurine was in the little floating Cloudsdale.

"This is all pretty've been messing around with this all day, huh?" You ask.

Discord shook his head "Not ALL day… I also spent my morning having some breakfast with Fluttershy and discussing you. Oh Anon, you should have seen her smile whenever I mentioned what a good little colt you are. we discussed putting you in school, going out on a family picnic, And the fact you were already out and about making new friends just thrilled her! It was wonderful Anon, I not only get to spend more time with my best friend but it will win me points with my other friends too! Think of it, I might be able to sneak some of the delicious zap apple jam from Applejack with only a minor talking to… if she ever found out that is. Now, tell me. How did your day go?"

Oh boy. You wondered at that very moment how much he actually cared about the reputation he was painting on you. "You weren't watching me?"

Discord scoffed "Of course not" He flipped you right side up "I was busy Anon. You don't need to be so egotistical you know. I can't be watching you ALL the time. That'd be creepy."

You chuckle nervously. "Y-yeah… Umm, so, what do you wanna know about? Just the good stuff right?"

"Hmm? "Good stuff"? Are you implying there are "bad stuff"?"

You looked around dishonestly, not making eye contact. "M-maybe… I mean, I wouldn't think it was that bad. I mean… Sweetie Belle thought it was cool"

"Hrnn..give me a moment Anon." Discord removed his eyeballs from their sockets as they grew wings and arms and took the mechanism from his talons to use on their own. It seemed to be the controls for the trains and tracks. He then looked at you… Those empty sockets… creeeeepppyyy. "I'm all ears Anon, Tell me everything."

...Let's see. How to go about this? Well...Maybe it wouldn't be so bad? What he says doesn't always mean what he actually means. He's a lover of chaos. He might even get a kick out of it. The only thing he might berate you for is the whole Rainbow Dash thing anyway.

"Well I met up with Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and Scootaloo and they did the whole tour thing. And..." You explain to Discord the events that occurred from the start up to the point Scootaloo left.

Discord shook his head "Anon, Anon. You couldn't have lied just a little better than that? Scootaloo is very sensitive you know."

"Isn't lying a bad thing?"

"Well it would be had you not started the foundation of your friendship on a lie. I'm not telling you to lie ALL the time. I'm just telling you a good key on winning over friendships is to NEVER upset your friends. Always be loyal, even if you have to lie"

Terrible moral, but it actually sounded more human than equestrian. Still, you didn't want entire friendships to be built from a lie. For now however. You'd just accept his moral at face value.

"Yeah… I'll do better next time, heh. This next part… Maybe you'll like it. I actually caused quite a bit of chaos..."

Discord smiled immediately at those words. a large grin. "Ohhhh? I didn't think you'd have it in you to cause some trouble. What did you do? Did you paint a pony's mane another color? Did you mix some apples with oranges? Did you make Rarity faint? Details Anon! Details!"

Good good, he seemed pretty excited. Man, he's gonna flood the room with tears of joy when he hears this one. Feeling confident now. As his reaction to Scootaloo was not what you were expecting. You tell him of the occurrence with DT and SS.

"..Haha. You should have seen them. Silver Spoon..she actually..haha.. She actually tucked her tail between her legs. I didn't even think that was a thing! Isn't that great Dad, right? ....Dad?" He wasn't reacting. And suddenly you can hear noises from below you.

You looked down, the trains were crashing and piling up as some of them crashed into the various towns and area. Which caused them to burst into flame. "U-um...d-dad...your..trainset is kinda on fire… and… exploding.."

He said nothing. His eyes however had dropped the mechanism and flew back into his eyes at they began to narrow and stare at you.

...Oh boy… "D-dad?"

He started to speak. But his tone was no longer bolstering with good humor. But instead with dark growls " you mind running those last few parts to me again? I don't think I heard it right..."

....What?! What was wrong?! it sounded like right up his alley...R-right? "U-umm..I just… sorta… threatened them.. And.. stuff."

"And stuff..." he repeated rather darkly

You nodded as the flames began to get higher. As they engulfed the entire train set. The smoke wasn't moving as normal however. It was swirling below you. almost like it was forming a ring.


"Tell me Anon, what possessed you to do a stupid thing like that? As to actually threaten violence and virtually go against the common decency of being a good natured little colt?"

"H-hey come on, why are you mad? I-I mean. You seemed happy when you thought it was a prank."

"Yes, Anon, a prank. Something fun and of little consequence. What you did was traumatize two fillies with your human sensibilities."

You were losing. And that smoke cloud was suddenly producing lightning while a thin oval of water appeared in the middle. constantly rippling… It kind of looked like a portal. You had to reason with Discord, you had to make him see it wasn't so bad. You had a feeling that if you didn't, he was going to drop you.

"Come on Discord! They deserved it. You wanted me to make friends with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and I did...sorta...for the most part. Crushing two fillies who constantly bully them should be a positive! Can't you see that!?"

Discord shook his head "Sorry Anon, if you were say… a friend, a stranger, an acquaintance. I probably wouldn't care. But you are my son now. And as much as we both hate it. I am responsible for you, therefore I am in charge of you. And that includes your punishment..."



"Goodbye Anon, you should have thought before you acted" Discord snapped his fingers. Sending you creaming downwards into the swirling smoke vortex. Into darkness...

In the next moment, you suddenly hit a sudden stop. Smacking right into your head. You immediately got up and started rubbing yourself and checking everything was in order while you panted heavily, drenched in sweat from being horrified.

"HA...AHH AHH..AHH...OK..OK...ha...ah...I'm all here...ok..wh-what?" You felt clothing on you. In fact, you were in the same pony tux and top hat that Discord first dressed you in. "..The hell?"

You looked around... It was night… You were sitting in front of a rather large house..a manor of sorts.

"What in the? Am I in Ponyville? How'd it get night so fast? Why am I in clothes again… Am I dead?"

Suddenly you heard a sigh right above you "Anon, must you always be so morbid?"

"Gyah!" You yelp in surprise as you jump backwards. Floating just above was Discord. In a yellow tux and top hat. Holding a cane with a sign of chaos at the hilt.

"Discord! Dammit, what the hell was- OW!"

Discord whacked you right on the head with his cane as he planted his feet to the ground and wiped his chest off. "Manners, Anon."

You rubbed your head… At one point, it really was going to crack like an egg. "Ngh... fine Dad.. What was that back there?! Did you really have to pull off those ridiculous theatrics? geez christ..."

"Anon, Anon. How are you supposed to learn unless I set an example?" He said as he adjusted his top hat.

"And what, pray tell, was I supposed to- OW!" He whaps you again. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

Discord shrugs "For now, I don't know. But i'm sure i'll have a reason to have done that sooner or later. In anycase, Anon. Since it hasn't sunk into your head yet. Let me make it clear. You acted out an act of childish cruelty, even if it was for good reasons. We don't threaten other young fillies or colts with acts of violence and harsh words. If you want to do such things, go find an evil arch villain or something. Are we understood?"

You continue rubbing your hoof on your head. You understood that. But what was with the portal and… " what are we doing here? Whose place is this?"

"Filthy Rich's home of course"

You started to back up. You didn't like where this was going and you wanted to get far away as possible.

"Noooooope. I can already see where this is going. If you think I'm going to apologize, you got another thing coming. I'm not giving her ANY sense of satisf-...dammit.."

You realized you weren't making headway as Discord just stared at you with his snaggletooth grin. He taps his cane to the ground, making the dirt path to the gate send a small wave that brings you right to the door.

Discord walks up to the door alongside you and knocks "Well, at least you catch on quick. I didn't want to have to explain EVERYTHING. Now then, I expect you to be on your VERY best behavior, understood?"

You can't escape. So, you just wait for whatever pony to answer the door. You look up at Discord. "You know this won't even work out right? He's just going to freak out."

Discord says nothing. He stood elegantly at the door. Like a regal visitor. "..Fine, ignore me. I'm just gonna laugh when this all blows up."
It only takes another moment. But the door finally opens. You expected a butler pony of some sort… maybe a sexy mare maid, but it was Filthy Rich himself.

he looked up at Discord and gave him an inviting smile "Ahh Mr.Discord, right on time. Why don't you and your son come in?"

Discord gave a small bow "Why of course Mr.Rich. Thank you for inviting us to your home. It is quite a pleasure to be in the company as one as illustrious as yourself."

Your jaw nearly dropped. He was acting all fine and dandy… What? What ruse is this?

"Come in, Come in, I was just getting today's profit reports in order." Filthy invited you both in with earnest

Filthy Rich leads you both inside to his study. What in the world?
You whisper to Discord "Ok, what the heck is going on? Why isn't he freaking out?"

Discord looked down at you and whispered "It's called manners Anon. While you were swirling around in that vortex, I arranged a visit with Filthy Rich. It's simple really."

"That doesn't explain why he isn't freaking out. Didn't you scare him into this or something?"

Discord snickered "Of course not,we both came to an understanding that we are both powerful beings in our own way. After a nice little chat I got to bringing up the point of an altercation between you and his daughter and that was that. What, did you think I was controlling him or this was some sort of dream?"

"......." You stay silent

Discord nodded at you. "That's what I thought"

Eventually you both were lead into a study that consisted of many books. Almost like a library. It had a fireplace where a sofa and a few chairs sat near. a the other end of the room was filing cabinets upon filing cabinets with a work study next to them.

Filthy Rich both offered you a seat. It was time for business. "Now then, Mr.Discord. You weren't too clear about this "altercation" between your son and my daughter. I trust it wasn't anything that would have hurt my darling little princess, she seemed fine when she got home."

Filthy Rich was tapping his hooves together, his inviting demeanor hid the serious tone in his voice.

"Well Mr. Rich. To put it simply. It seems my Anon had said some rather cruel words to her. In his defense, it seems that your daughter was harassing his friends." Discord himself, had a rather gentlemanly tone about him as he spoke

Filthy's Rich's eyes narrowed. And his expression became more serious. And yet he still kept a respectful tone. "Mr.Discord… I appreciate you bringing your son to apologize for his behavior. But I hope you aren't suggesting that my daughter would do any kind of harassing"

Noooope. You slam your hoof on the table and look at Filthy Rich with furious anger. "I'm not apologizing to nopony! Her and her friend were insulting mine just because they didn't have cutie marks! If anything, she should be apologizing to me!"

Discord picked you up by the scruff as you huffed, still staring at Filthy Rich. He plopped you back on your seat before giving a small bow to Filthy Rich. "My apologies Mr.Rich. He is still young."

Filthy Rich didn't even seem to react. He just sat there, pondering. "It's fine Mr. Discord. That kind of attitude reminds me of my younger days." He fixed his gaze towards you "Son, tell me, is what you are saying really the truth?"

You nod, staying silent. Being grabbed by the scruff reminded you that Discord was still present. And still in power.

"I see… It's troubling to hear that my little princess would do such an awful thing as to cause this young colt to show such anger. Mr. Anon, considering your father wishes for you to apologize, what exactly did you say in retaliation to my dear Diamond Tiara?"

"...u-ummm.." Oh boy… You started to sweat. Thinking about it. It was pretty bad. "..I....I..uh...I threatened to hurt her… and to turn her into a grape… if she didn't take back what she said."

Filthy Rich looked at his crackling fireplace, and stood up to stand in front of it. "Mr.Anon. Just to let you know. I don't tolerate such brazen acts to be exposed to my that clear?"

You look to Discord. For anything… Something… This was starting to sound bad. But he didn't even look at you. So you look at Filthy Rich with a frown, looking down, your ears drooping. "...yes sir..."

"I also won't tolerate my daughter participating in the same kind of behavior. Why, it just ain't ladylike. To hear that she's insulting others just for not having a Cutie Mark, well, it ain't the Rich way. My family built this entire fortune through good relations and fantastic business practices and bygonit, It's gonna stay that way."

Wow, that's unexpected. You thought he was going to go to town on your ass… Filthy Rich turned to Discord "So, as fathers...what do you suppose we should do?"

"I say we switch their bodies to let them see how it is to be in eachother's horseshoes!" Discord said with glee.

Filthy Rich coughed before dismissing that suggestion "No… I was thinking of something more practical But, hrnn… Instead of switching their bodies, why don't we just have them learn from each other? Have them dedicate their time to one another?"

"Ooohhh, that sounds like a marvelous idea! I'm sure my Anon would shape up quickly" Discord clapped at the idea.

Filthy Rich nodded to himself. "I quite like it myself, my little darlin' would learn a few lessons herself in treating the less fortunate with a little more respect. They will be customers when they grow up, eheh." NO..NO..NO...a million fucking times no! You opened your mouth to say something. But what could you say? There was no way you could challenge all. Now, you just wanted to go back home.

You hear one of the doors to the study open, small footsteps heading into the room.
"Daddy, Can you have one of the serv-....ants..."

It was Diamond Tiara… you raise yourself from your seat and lean over behind you to get a look at her. She was in shock to see you and Discord.

"w-w-what are they doing here?" She asked, rather spooked.

Filthy Rich chuckled. "Ahh good, now I don't have to have somepony fetch ya. Diamond Tiara, this young colt says you said some awful things earlier today. Is what he said true?"

Diamond Tiara was taking a step back, it looked like she was heading towards the door. "U-uhhmm.."

"Diamond, I ain't gonna ask ya again"

She gulped, looking at Discord. She suddenly dived and covered her head "Yes! I did! PLEASE DON'T TURN ME INTO A GRAPE! I'M SORRRRYYY!"

"Diamond Tiara" Filthy Rich walked up to her, he was giving a stern fatherly look "I am very disappointed in you missy! I know I raised you better than that!"

Diamond Tiara, noticing she wasn't turned into a grape. Realized what was going on. Her father knew… and was upset at her. "B-but daddy! It was Silve-"

"No buts!" Filthy Rich turned to you "Mr. Anon, can you come over here and apologize to my daughter for what you've done?"

..Geez, he was being pretty reasonable… but still. You look to Discord first… nope, he just points to you to get your butt in gear. Fine, whatever.

You get up and stand in front of the pony you had disdain for. Those tears… you felt nothing. She just didn't want to be in trouble "I'm sorry for all the mean things I said."

"Good good, Now Diamond, Apologize to Anon" Filthy commanded.

"Bu-but I already did..."

Filthy Rich stepped closer, looking down on her with steel iron will. "Diamond..."

She gulped and looked at you with fear. You were Discord's son. She could tell you were being made to apologize as well. But she knew she couldn't trump you. Not because of you yourself. But because of who your "father" is. "..I'm...sorry.."

"Good, now get up to your room. You won't be having any snacks tonight. Am I clear?" Filthy Rich said.

Diamond Tiara nodded. "Yes...Daddy.." She then turned and hung her head low as she walked out of the study.

Filthy Rich chuckled to himself. "Children, the bright stars of the future, but we parents have got to be there to guide them towards the right path, wouldn't you agree Mr.Discord?"

"What?..oh right. Yes, right right." It seems Discord wasn't paying attention at one point.

Ugh… taking it seriously at first. And now just losing interest… Goddamn him. He was treating you like a child… Dammit.

"Well, it was nice having this little chat and I expect you, Anon. To be on your best behavior when around my daughter. And to keep her away from whatever bad influences had persuaded her to take such awful actions."

You nod… defeated… beaten… nothing you could do but agree. Filthy Rich then turned to Discord with a courteous smile "Well Mr. Discord, it seems our business here has concluded… though. I wouldn't mind having future talks. A pony of your… disposition could lead to all kind of new business ventures for Barnyard Bargains and it's subsidiaries , in fact if you are willing to stay awhile longer."

Discord immediately sprang to life and grabbed you like a football… He did not want to sit through any business talk. "Oh look at the time! If I don't get food into Anon he has nightmares, wouldn't want that. Goodbye Mr. Rich, ta-ta and all that!" He snapped his fingers. Teleporting you both through a blinding light.

Filthy Rich just blinked. "...huh.."

Chapter 15

View Online

You both reappear back at the house. Out of your "classy" apparel. After adjusting yourself from the flash of light. You look at Discord. Now that it was just you and him, you wanted to try one last time to reason with him. In anyway necessary.

"Why, WHY?! Do you realize that I was actually befriending Applebloom and her friends. You do know that Diamond Tiara is their enemy. Right?"

"And?" Discord said in a light hearted tone as he whimsically waved his paw to get the oven going.

And… AND?! "Y-you can't believe this is a good punishment! If Applebloom and the others see me with her. What are they going to think?!"

Discord gave you a gentle rub on the head "Well, that's why you tell them. You don't keep things from your friends."

You stepped back and pushed his paw away. "And you think they are going to be thrilled with this?"

Discord shrugged "I don't know. But if they are your friends then they'll understand that it's just a punishment and probably just feel sorry for you. Anon, I thought you were a logical adult. Yet here you are acting like a little child." Discord poofed a rattle in his talons and held it towards you "Here, this will help you feel better" He shook it "See! it makes a happy little noise"

You swatted it away, like reflex. But… he was right. You were just upset. But still, even if THEY did understand. you still had to deal with DT.

Discord just gave you a smarmy grin. "Sorry,Perhaps you wanted a pacifier?"

"Can't you be serious for a second?! I'm trying to have a conversation with you! Stop treating me like i'm some kid!"

Discord sighed and produced a mirror right in front of you "Tell me what you see, Anon"

"What does that have to do with anything?!" You try to shove the mirror away. But it just stays in place no matter the force.

"Just take a peek. It's not going to bite you"

You grumble, fine. whatever. Not like he was going to let you do anything else. You take a look, and see that you were flustered, with an angry scowl on your face. "Ok… all I see is me. And?"

"Closer… Look closer Anon"

Nmmm..he was probably just baiting you for some kind of mirror trick. a monster or a cheap scare. You stood at the ready as you took another look, but you only saw yourself being angry and upset. "Still just me."

Discord started to get impatient "Yes andddd? Do you notice anything?"

...Only that… ohh...

"...Why couldn't you just tell me I was throwing a tantrum? This cryptic nonsense is getting real old, real fast."

Discord bent down to you, to meet you at eye level as he pushed the mirror away. "Anon. Just take a moment and think. Instead of being petty and immature. Why not be nice and caring? Don't you think Diamond Tiara could use a good friend such as yourself? To help her mend her bullying ways?"

You rolled your eyes at him. "Nooooo… I see it as being a gigantic bother. When the hell did you become so moralistic anyway?"

"It's not about being moralistic Anon, If you could see outside your own narrow scope of the world you are used to. Then you'd be able to see that I'm not all pranks and tricks. That deep inside, I am actually capable of the things Fluttershy says i'm capable of. I'm not exactly sure what those things are but I DO have an inkling at what they might be. That's why you are perfect for practicing on. You're a child without any of the effects of "trauma"."

Your eyes thats the reason. "So...That's why you cho-"

Discord quickly reached for your muzzle and closed it. his talons turning into a rope as he rolled his eyes at you, annoyed "Anon, if I have to hear the whole "So you're just using me" speech, I think I'll literally hurl. Again, try to think outside that narrow scope of yours. Without me and my good graces, you wouldn't be here to enjoy Equestria. I mean, you didn't even want to be friends with Applebloom and now you're friends with her whole group despite your human bumbling. So please, spare me your tired words. You're using me just as I am using you. Otherwise you would have truly wanted to go home by now. now..." Suddenly, the oven beeps "Your dinner is ready..."

You look at the oven as it opens on its own and a large strawberry cheesecake comes out of it… it looked… delicious.

"Now, before I let you eat. Are we at an understanding? Can we just try to get along and you be a cute, cuddly, little colt? I'm not asking you to be an angel Anon, I'm asking you to just play nice… when necessary of course. Expecting you to be an actual goody two shoes would make me ashamed to be your father, ehehe. Now, you can do that for me, right Anon?"

You pondered and thought. No wonder he was always ahead of you. You were being angry, stubborn, and downright edgy. Instead of thinking logically. Or maybe you were wrong. You couldn't be sure. You were wrong about the CMC though. He had a point. But you knew if he didn't have Fluttershy, then he wouldn't have had as much as an upper hand as he does now… maybe… probably… hopefully? You had to control your temper better and think things through… It's not as if he was being cruel to you at least. Still… you had to ask him one thing.

You nodded to him, and pointed to the rope, so he could remove it.

"Good, let's get this off of you." He waved his paw. Making the rope change back to a talon as it appears in it's proper place.

You look up at him, and sigh. "Ok… I get what you are saying. But can you ease up on messing with me a little? I probably wouldn't get so miffed if you weren't scaring me half to death all the time"

"Only half? I could have sworn it was three quarters.." Discord chuckled

You point at him with your hoof, aggravated with his response. "See, that. That right there. you don't think messing with me like that isn't going to tick me off?

Discord gave your head a gentle rub as he rubbed his nose with his talon. "I fail to see the issue, you didn't seem to have qualms with messing with poor princess Twilight."

You stop… shit that’s right… that was fun. "Y-eah… but, we both were doing that."

Discord nodded "Right..we were. So are you telling me you can't handle what you dish out? That suddenly I shouldn't have fun with you every now and again?"

At first those words weared you down… but then you realized the one thing he always love to say. and look at him back with a cocky grin of your own. "Well duh, I am your son… Dad."

Discord didn't react the way you expected, instead he picked you up and gave you a hug "That's my boy! using your noggin' to try and outhink your good ole' dad"

"Does that mean you'll ease off?"

Discord laughed and put you down "Ohohohohaha… Oh heavens no, but I'm proud that you tried to reason with me. Now then..." Discord gently raised you with his magic and placed a small seat under you as the cheesecake appeared before you with a table. "Eat up. It may look deceptively like junk food. But it's filled with everything a growing colt needs. So please..enjoy!"

Dammit. He won't listen to reason… Fine,you'll just play along for now. As usual. But at least he admitted to the symbiotic relationship of it all. You looked at the cheesecake… it sure smelled nice. You gave it a tap. "Can you at least be honest with me and tell me there's nothing actually wrong with this?

Discord nodded "Of course there isn't. Now eat up and hop yourself to bed. We've got a semi busy day tomorrow."

Woah hold on..what? "What? But..I still have to talk to Applebloom and...apologize to Scootaloo and stuff.."

"And you will. It's not as if I'm going to take you away all day. We just have somewhere to be for awhile. Anon, stop worrying. If it makes you feel any better. I'll make sure everything will be fine for you tomorrow, alright?"

You look at him. with a half frown. You wanted to know if he was being truthful. "No lie? you mean it?"

"...Hmm… How did that rhyme go again? Ahh yes... Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." A Pinkie Promise...thats a good place to start.

"...Thank you.." You look down at the cheesecake and grab a chunk greedily with your hooves and take a bite… oh boy… it tasted great. ", what exactly are we doing're gone"

You look up to see Discord had vanished off somewhere the moment you indulged yourself in some dinner. "...See ya tomorrow Dis… Dad..."

You eat and munch on your dinner until it's all gone and get up to go to your room. You were sure the plate and table would take care of itself. You took a stretch and looked down at the book you dropped the other night.

You stare at it for just another moment before you tried picking it up with your hooves again. Unlike a cup, a book was still beyond your understanding. "Still didn't want to read you.."

You hopped up on your warm bed and laid to your side and closed your eyes. "...Just relax Anon, you'll get this all figured out eventually. You wanted to come to Equestria to live a happier life… Eh, so it's not as simple as you thought it'd be. But hey. What is? At least you got an advantageous, if headache inducing start… right? ..That’s ok right?... eh… mmnn… I'll be fine..."

You drift off to sleep… Tomorrow is another day.

Chapter 16

View Online

It's a new day. You take a deep breath as you slowly open your eyes and yawn. You slowly raise yourself and look around. Hrn… You were still in your room. What time was it? You slowly got out of bed and looked out the window.

...You couldn't make heads or tails of it. It was always dark here. You wondered if Discord had forgotten about you or if it was just too early. Since you were awake. You decided to get more used to your surroundings… Maybe check out the "front lawn".

You were also still wondering about when you actually had to hang out with DT. But Discord would probably have that arranged against your will sooner or later. All you had to do was figure out how to make it the least painful experience possible. You open your door and look downwards.

...You just looked down. It was a drop to the first floor and you had no idea if you could just "shift" the gravity going down as you do going up.

You give it a shot.

You fail...

You fall down with a yelp, landing on your head first and falling backwards onto your back.
At this point you wondered if you were invincible or just hard headed. "Nghh… dammit… why can't he just put a stairs or an elevator or something… ugh."

You rub your head as you decide to look around… or did. Some of the layout was different than before. Different doors were about. The kitchen was upside down. And some of the windows were in different spots. Even the wallpaper has changed.

"Course..." You sigh, realizing immediately that exploring the house is pointless… or maybe even dangerous if it turns out to be a maze. The front door was still in the same general location however. You head for it and take a look out the peephole. "I wonder..."

You didn't really see anything out of the chaotic unusual.

You you decided to open the door. You were curious to see what anti gravity felt like. Since that one mail pony who seemingly got lost in the void floated away and got taken by a monster.

....Floated away and taken by a monster.

"....Ehhh… On second thought..." You close the door and head back in the middle of the living room. "Not even a TV… kinda wish I had the internet. Since I can't even step outside without some rape monster coming out of nowhere to eat me."

"Ahhhhhhnnn… What a good sleep that was..." You hear Discord's voice in the room.

You look around, but don't see him. "Discord?"

"hrn? Oh good morning Anon. how are you doing? I surely hope you didn't have any terrible nightmares."

...You didn't. But you also couldn't spot Discord. You were getting a little antsy. Due to still waking up and thinking he was going to get the jump on you. You could hear him as if he was right next to you. "No I slept fine… Are you invisible? I don't see you anywhere… You better not jump me with some kind of prank."

"Haha, what would you do if I did? Ahh, but you needn't worry about that. It's breakfast time after all"

You started looking around. Moving things around and looking under cabinets and table. "Breakfast time, huh? If it's as good as dinner and lunch is. Then I'm all ready for that… Darnit where are you?"

"Down here Anon, near the mouse hole."


You look down and scan the wall until you spot him, waving at you. How odd, you could hear him clear as day. Then again. Nothing really made sense with him. So why even wonder? "Don't you think that's a little unnecessary?"

"What?" Discord looked around himself, until he grabbed a chunk of his own fur and pulled it out. A crazy, wiggling, black parasite popping out of it as he holds it up in plain view. "You mean this? I know he may not look like much, but he really gets those itchy spots. I can lend him to you if you wish"

Christ… You gag from disgust and shock from the screaming angry creature. "Geez Discord, What the heck is that thing?!"

"Ohhhoho this? Just a bloodsucking parasite. I collect them from time to time to help me sleep. They also make great snacks." He moved his paw over it. making it smaller. And then opened his mouth and tossed it in like a peanut "Delicious!"

You stuck your tongue out and gagged as you began to feel sick in your stomach. "...Yeah… no. I'd appreciate it if you don't let any of those things near me… please."

"Suit yourself." Discord said as he produced a magical bag full of the damn things and started munching on them.

...Oh god… You can't look at it. You turn around to remove it from view and the moment you do, Suddenly everything was super huge. Did he just make everything bigger all of a sudden? "Hey..what gives?"

You take a chance and look back to where Discord was...but now where he was is now super huge. The mouse hole was bigger than you were. And with a quick flash,Discord wasn't standing there anymore.

"D-discord...what are you d-HEEEYY!! OH GGEEEZ!" You are suddenly lifted by the tail as a super gigantic Discord brings you to eye level. You were smaller than his damn beard.
You were frantic. You felt as if you were so high up.

You were just screaming for Discord to put you down and fix things. But of course, he didn't listen. "Oohhhh, look at you… You're so cuuute..." He snickered. His breath like a strong wind.


"Put you down? Alright then… Down the hatch." Discord lifted you up, looking at you while you raised his arm as high as possible. He then opened his mouth. You could see every tooth in great detail. A death maw right below you.

"DON'T LET ME DOWN. DON'T LET ME DOWN! DON'T EAT ME… DAMMIT DAHHHHH!" He let's you go as you scream in terror. Falling into his mouth.

He closes his mouth, enveloping you in darkness. You close your eyes. Still screaming as you expect to be lapped up on his wet tongue or digested. But instead, you feel a cool breeze and gentle grass.

You slowly open your eyes… You were… right in front of Fluttershy's cottage again. Discord was floating right above you as he giggled "Ahh, nothing like a good scare to fully wake you up, wouldn't you agree Anon?"

You fill with rage as you jump at him with a scream. You actually manage to grab him tightly as you pull him back down. Or at least half of him as his upper torso rains down orange juice onto your face and fur.

"Anon, I'd have expected you to at least expect a few tricks now and again. But you just keep falling for it. What happened to that human know-how? Hmm?" He said.

You move away from the falling juice and let go of Discord's lower half as it rejoins his top. You cough and spit and shake your head to recuperate before looking up at him with an enraged look.


Discord snickered "And yet here you are...screaming at the top of your lungs for Fluttershy to hear what a potty mouth you have."


...Shit, you were right at her door. You did your best to calm yourself, but dammit. You at least lowered your voice. "I'm still getting used to this place. Can't you just cut me some slack. Sure fine, maybe I should have expected it. But actually dropping me like that is still scary as hell. Why can't you just ease up! huh? I'm supposed to be your son. And all you seem to like to do is piss me off half the time."

Discord floated down to the ground and dusted himself off. "That's because it's fun to make you angry half the time. It's so easy and has zero repercussions"

Zero repercussions? Oh hell fucking no. You weren't used to this magical bullshit yet. And you did want to get along with him. You really did. And sometimes you seem to. but other times? He just fucking grinds your gears. "What about mental trauma? You said you didn't need to worry about trauma. And that's because you know I had to deal with a lot of crap. But that crap wasn't crazy magic that makes my life flash before my eyes every damn time!"

"You have to take the good with the bad Anon. Besides? What are you going to do about it? hrnn? Grab me again? It's not as if I'm physically abusing you. I treat you well… and then sometimes I get bored. But if you want to rip me in half..." Discord started drawing a dotted line around his torso "...Right here's a good start. It could use a good massage."

You growled. There was nothing you could do. Even if his good was making you happy. His bad was infuriating you. And there was nothing you could do. You stomped your hoof to the ground and turned back to Fluttershy's door.

"...forget it. Let's just get this over with. I don't even know what you want to do with Fluttersh-.."


An evil smile grows on your face as you slowly turn back to Discord. "You know, you're right… there’s nothing I can do"

Discord nodded happily as he leaned his back in the air and threw his upper limbs behind his limbs, closing his eyes to relax. "We established that"

"...But Fluttershy could"

Discord opened his eyes. and flipped back up. "hrn?"

"You heard me. All I have to do is say "Daddy is mean to me! He threw me in his mouth and made me cry!"" You caught his attention as his jovial mood dropped to that of one losing the advantage

"You wouldn't do that." Discord gave you a serious but worried stare

...that’s it? "You wouldn't do that?". That was his best defense? Oh man, you finally had him. "I would. Look, I could pull off some dirty crap of my own. It's part of my "human nature" after all. All I'm asking is for you to ease up. You want to pull pranks, fine. But don't do it all the damn time and stop making it to the point i'd have a heart attack. You don't do it to the ponies… so don't do it to me. Are we clear?"

"Are you giving your father an order? Anon, are you aware of the power I wield? The magic I command. THE HORRORS I CAN SUMMON?!" Discord said as green fire and smoke started to circle around him.

You just nod. "Yup, and if you use any of it. I'll tell Fluttershy… Excuse me, Aunt Fluttershy. Capesh?"

The threatening magic instantly dissipated as Discord mumbled words. "hmnnnmm....mnnn.."

Now you snickered. "Come on Dad. It's not like i'm asking you to stop. Just ease up. it's called a compromise. If you can do it for Fluttershy, then you can do it for me, now, about that thing with Diamond Tiara."

Discord crossed his arms "If you think you're getting out of that then you are out of your mind. A punishment is a punishment, Anon."

"Yeah well, I don't think I should have to take it. What do you care anyway? Is it really because you need to play the role as "Father"? Because you know and I know she's a brat."

Discord nodded "Oh I know, but you still stepped out of line yourself. I've hung around a few villains in my day Anon, and the way it sounded. You acted like how one of them would. And as such, discipline was required."

You sigh, aggravated. "But I'm not actually your son. Remember?"

"Oh I know, but we are compromising. Aren't we? as a trade for you being my son, you get to live a comfy life in the world of your dreams. If anything I would say you made out like a bandit."

...mmmm... No argument there.You could still interact with all the cute cuddly ponies for real. A huge product for the low price of just dealing with a reformed spirit of chaos who… so far… seems to have no intent on killing you or sending you back.

"Anon.." Discord sighed, and looked at you with a more sincere voice. "'ve seen how things are from a dimensional glimpse through a television screen. I'm asking for your help. Well, forcing you into it with the promise of happiness but that’s besides the point. Fluttershy is my best friend. I've made mistakes… very few, but enough that I nearly jeopardized everything because my grasp of friendship… while near perfect, has a few flaws. I picked you because I felt you would understand and play along. As I think other humans would have either called it quits, died of a heart attack, or become malicious enough to actually cause major harm. I'm not asking you as a father… I'm asking you as a friend. Just help me with this. Fluttershy's happiness means a lot to me" You noticed a tear drop from Discord's face.

..Shit… That was… quite a speech. "...Do you really mean that?"

Discord wiped his tear away "Most of it...the parts with Fluttershy are 100% true"

...ugh… you nearly roll your eyes. Still… whether he was faking or not. That was impressive. It was odd. He didn't have to treat you like a son outside of the view of Fluttershy. Maybe he was just helping you adjust? ...You'll never be able to figure it out.

"...Ok ok, fine. I won't say anything to Fluttershy. Just promise to ease up, that's all I ask. I'll even deal with Diamond Tiara… but don't expect perfection from that, alright?"

Discord put his paw to his heart "I promise!"

You narrow your eyes. "Pinkie Promise..."

Discord rolled his eyes "Really Anon? You can't take my word for it?"

You shake your head. "Nope...Pinkie Promise"

Discord rubbed his chin "Very well… but, you must Pinkie Promise to better yourself as a pony and as my son? Deal?"

You raise an eyebrow. "...What's all this "better myself" stuff anyway? I know it's for Fluttershy. But, the way you say it implies for everypony."

"Well, you did want to come here for a happier life. right? Nopony here would want to be around a stingy,grumpy, negative thinking human? Don't you think?"

...It didn't take even a moment to realize he was right about that. Pinkie herself goes through insane lengths just to get someone to smile and be more positive. And for others, it'd just turn them away... still… "'re really helping me integrate better, huh? You know that means you're doing a good deed right?" You chuckle at the thought.

Discord tapped your head. Lightly this time, it barely even stung. "I thought it was a compromise. I help you, you help me. It's nothing more than that. I just happen to be the one putting in much more effort. Understood?"

You almost giggle. That's kind of cute. "Good talk Dad, good talk."

Discord smirked at you "It's always a good talk when it comes to me" He turns and knocks on Fluttershy's door "I assume I don't have to say anything to you?"

You shake your head. "No, I got it. Big happy smiles and be on my best behavior. Trust me, even I would never want to see Fluttershy frown or cry in person."

Discord nodded "You never want to see her angry either… trust me. When you are actually her friend, that stare suddenly means something, eheh."

You both stood at the ready. As the door began to open.

Chapter 17

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Behind the door, was of course Fluttershy. It was her cottage after all.
She gave a cute little yawn and greeted both you and Discord

"Good morning you two. Sorry it took me so long to get to the door. I wasn't expecting you two so early" Fluttershy said, in a calm, soothing voice. She seemed a little shamed that she wasn't ready for you two.

"Oh it's quite alright Fluttershy, I'll take it as a compliment. You know how I enjoy not being expected." Discord gave her a reassuring smile. Coming from him, it looked a little on the smug side. But it can't be helped.

Fluttershy giggled anyway. soft gentle giggles that made you feel a warmth inside your heart. You immediately speak up in a cheerful tone.

"Good morning Aunt Fluttershy! I really hope you're doing well today!"
god that sounded sappy, but you didn't care. Fluttershy is one of the few ponies you are sure just from the show is just about one hundred percent good natured. It was endearing.

Fluttershy smiled sweetly at you and gave your head a gentle rub with her warming..
"I'm doing very well, thank you Anon."

Fluttershy then looks up at Discord with a smile "Discord, may I ask you a question?"

Discord nodded with a proud smile "Why of course, what is it?"

"Well...umm..I was just wondering. Can I take a picture of you together? I think it'd be very nice and cute. I could make copies for you and Anon...I think it'd be very nice to have."

"That would be wonderful. But why just me and Anon? you are the "Aunt" you know. I think it should be of the three of us." He magically produces a camera in his talons "Wouldn't you agree?"

A family photo? That sounded ok with you. Especially if Fluttershy was in the picture...oh if only you could go back home for just a moment to shove it in every flutterfags’ face.

"Oh..I don't want to impose. Not unless it's ok with Anon too.." Fluttershy said with adorable meekness

SOOO CUTE. This is why her and Ponk was the best.

With a cute hop, you said with excitement in your voice "I don't mind at all! We're all a big family right? You, me, and Dad!"

Discord chuckled, he knew you were milking this for all it's worth. But as long as it made Fluttershy happy...He didn't mind. "Well then it's settled. Anon, if you can please stand next to your aunt if you don't mind."

You comply immediately, darting right next to her and nuzzling to her side. Making her giggle. "Anon, why don't you stand in front of me instead?"
in front? but then you wouldn't be able to nuzzle her. She was so soft ...And this picture was probably going to be one of the few chances you can get this close. Then again...if it makes her happy...

You reluctantly moved to her front. Where she immediately wrapped her hooves around you in a gentle embrace before looking at the camera. You immediately blush a deep red, stunned.

.....sooooo......warm...she's so....ohhhhh...she was hugging you....

Discord clenched his teeth, a little annoyed at the attention you were receiving. "Fluttershy, you needn't cuddle him so closely. He isn't a filly you know."

"Oh, but look at him Discord...he's so cute and nice. I'm sure he'd appreciate a hug. It’s one of the things that always makes me feel better." Fluttershy gave you a gentle squeeze

...oh appreciated it alright. You were on cloud nine.

Discord tapped his chin, that gave him an idea. "It does, does it?...hrn..alright then. Fluttershy, Anon, be at the ready." Discord rips his taloned arm off as it floats in midair with the camera. "I'm about to take the picture"

Discord slithered speedily behind Fluttershy and grabbed you both for his own embrace. He then scoops you up and raises you to Fluttershy’s side "Everypony say oats!"

Fluttershy lets out a gentle titter from Discord's hug as you get startled from being lifted. Breaking you out of your trance.

The camera snapshots. Releasing a blinding light that stuns both you and Fluttershy as a photo shoots out from the bottom of the camera and into Discord's paw. his talon then reattaches itself as he shakes the photo and takes a look. "It's perfect!"

Fluttershy had to rub her eyes and compose herself. before moving to Discord's side so she can take a look for herself. You however were still rubbing your eyes. you were caught offguard more than Fluttershy was.

"...uhhh ..Discord...I don't want to sound negative..or upset you...but umm..This picture isn't very family esque"

Discord takes a harder look at the photo "What's wrong with it? I think it looks fine."

Fluttershy points her hoof towards you on the photo "Umm well...Anon looks like he he just saw something very scary."

"But look at me!" Discord points to himself "When have you ever seen a more vibrant smile from me? And look at you! you look stunning!"

"Umm....actually..I think I was just stunned. Maybe we can take the photo again without the flash? it's already bright enough..I think"

You blink several times until your vision clears. You rub your forehead. Still slightly dazed.
Unbeknownst to the both of you. He did it on purpose. Not really to be malicious. Just to snap you out of your little stupor. He felt a little jealous of you.

"Alright.Fine, I suppose we can do it your way; Like how the other ponies would have it..let's'll be over here"

You're suddenly lifted up and placed down gently a few inches from Fluttershy.

"awww...Why can't I be in front of Aunt Fluttershy? I didn't mind being hugged for the picture...can't we go with that?" You pouted at Discord, you really enjoyed her loving embrace

Discord shook his head. "Of course not, I want this photo to reflect absolute perfection."

Dammit Discord..come onnnnn. You started to think he was getting jealous. He shouldn't have made you so cute then if he was just gonna muscle in on cuddle time.

You look over to Fluttershy."You didn't mind. Right Aunt Fluttershy?"

she shakes her head "No...but your father is right. We should take pride that he wants to take a professional photo. He only wants us to look our best. Isn't that right Discord?"

Discord grinned, looking dishonest "But of course!"

You wanted flutter cuddles.

Fluttershy, being the empathetic pone that she is. notices your disapproval and gives you a warming smile. "Of course, if you want a hug after the photo. Then i'm perfectly alright with that."

Yes! You were ecstatic for more flutterhugs

Discord rolled his eyes at your excitement. "Alright alright, positions. Fluttershy. if you please, make some space between you and Anon."

Fluttershy scootched a little ways from you "Like this?"

“Perfect!”Discord immediately teleports between the two of you.. And gives a huge smile as he brings Fluttershy closer to himself "Everypony say oats!"

Fluttershy, being none the wiser. Says oats with a happy smile.
You however fake it. You now fully realized what Discord was doing.

The camera takes a snapshot.This time without a flash. Discord teleports the photo into his grip and looks at it. It looks a lot better, much happier. "There we are. Is this better Flu-"

Discord turns to her, and is shocked by what he sees.

You immediately took the advantage and was cuddling with Fluttershy as she held you gently and nuzzled her face into yours and giggled "Oh my, you're so affectionate Anon."

You were enjoying every second of her softness

"..well..I never had a mom..and nopony really cuddled with me before. And after you did..well..I really really like it!"

Fluttershy started to gently rub her hoof along your back and held you closer like a mother would "I can see that. Well you don't need to worry about a lack of affection Anon, you have me and your father now."

"Thank you Aunt Fluttershy! I wuvv you very much"

You were like a little kid in a candy store. Discord however felt the fires of jealousy burning within him.
You were taking his attention away. Something he didn't consider to be part of the plan.

Discord tried to hide his jealous growls as he spoke to you " you mind if I have a word with you outside.....about.." he took a moment to think...but couldn't come up with anything. so he just said "...things?"

Things? the hell?..oh yeah, he was jealous alright, perfect. You nod happily to keep the ruse.

"Ok, be right back Aunt Fluttershy!"

She nodded "Alright. I'll make us all some breakfast...well umm..actually..have you eaten?"

You shake your head "nu uh"

"Oh, then I'll make us all some quick sandwiches to eat. Would you like some too Discord?"

"...yes...I' some." Discord minced his teeth. staring at you.

Fluttershy, ignorant of the situation, merely smiled "Alright. I'll defini-" Suddenly you and Discord disappear out of the cottage. "...oh my..that was sudden..."

You both warp outside, away from the cottage and earshot. and without a moments hesitation. Discord starts drilling into you. "Would you mind telling me what you are doing?!"

you smirk at him "Getting cuddles and hugs from Fluttershy. Does that bother you?"

"I...thought...we came to an understanding." His snaggletooth snapped in half from clenching his teeth so hard.

You snicker, This is probably how it felt for him whenever he messed with you.

"We did...just getting some well deserved revenge though. Gotta at least make it even. You know? come on, you gotta at least let me have this one. Besides..she's so soft...." You blush just thinking about it.

"I should send you to meet those tentacles." Discord’s eyes were flaring up

"You won't. Because that would upset Fluttershy. Come on, why are you getting so bent out of shape. I already know I have no chance with her. Not my fault that i'm so damn cute...that would actually be your fault." You winked and pointed at him with your hooves
Discord raised his finger, in thought to counter you.....but he realized you had a point "hrnnn...I did indeed do that"

" did."

Discord rubbed his temples, annoyed with his own mistake of making you adorable. "Alright Anon, I know when I'm beat. If you cease your ridiculous affections. Then I will definitely do my best to not pull any of my usual shenanigans on you."

You cock an eyebrow. wut?

" weren't before?"

Discord rolled his eyes "Of course I just a smaller amount. But now that I see you're willing to play dirty. Then you have forced my hand"

You rolled your eyes
"I'm not even going to begin to say what's wrong with that sentence. But fine.if you really REALLY mean it this time. I'll ease up and just be regular affectionate. But don't blame me if she's the one who decides to hug and nuzzle me, that's on her"

Discord sighed "..Fine...I'll agree on those terms. As long as you don't encroach on my friendship with Fluttershy. Then I can forgive her being affectionate towards you. If only because it makes her happy"

You smirk at him
"You're a stand up guy Discord."

You then walk up to him and and pat his long backside "Look, I really want to be friends with you. I know we got the whole father son thing to keep up. But even when I first saw you. You became my favorite villain turned good guy..I thought you were pretty cool...I mean..I guess it's not hard considering most of the other villains were eh..but still"

Discord seemed surprised by those words "hrn? You thought I was "cool" "?

"Yep, but...agh..somethings nagging me. Why did you just stand still and take the hit from the elements of harmony. I never really got that. "

Discord snickered "You would if I put you right in front of a speeding train"

...ahh shit.

You immediately brace yourself and close your eyes. But instead you feel a soft patting on your head.
"....but since I won't. I will only describe it as a "Stunning" experience. I really did think I had defeated Twilight and her friends. But, I suppose even I can be wrong sometimes...does that answer your question?"

You slowly open your were in the same train in sight.
"..u-um..yeah..yeah it does"

"Good, now let's get back to Fluttershy. I wouldn't want to tell her that the reasons the sandwiches got cold is because of you"

You roll your eyes and chuckle
"it's fine, all I'd have to do is give her big sad eyes and say "I'm so sowwwwyy""

Discord actually chuckled from that "quite underhanded. But just stick to the agreement Anon. You can be affectionate, just don't over do it. And I won't torture you tonight"

You chuckled in turn "Alright, but whatever tortures you had would totally be worth it"

you both laugh at the same time as Discord snaps his fingers. Sending you both back into the cottage.

Chapter 18

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Fluttershy looked at Discord, then you, then back at Discord, confused. "Did something happen?”

Discord shook his head "Oh heavens no, we merely forgot to shut the oven off back home, isn't that right Anon?"

You nodded "Yeah, that's it. Didn't want there to be a fire. I kinda like where I live."

Fluttershy nodded, with some worry in her disposition "Of course..Anon, speaking about where you live. Are you fine living there? It's not scary?"

You shook your head. Aside from Discord himself. You've been pretty safe as long as you were inside "It's fine. I have my own room and everything. The door is on the ceiling, and what's super cool is all I have to do is put my hoof up in mid air under it and suddenly theres invisible steps. It even does this neat gravity shifty thing. It's awesome!"

Fluttershy's worry fades as she is humored by your zeal. "I'm so glad to hear that Anon. Nothing seems to bother you. It's as if you already knew what to expect."

you chuckle nervously. Because you semi did. But as long as she never figured that out it should be fine."N-nah, I just trust in my dad. I know he'd never let me get hurt."

Fluttershy just couldn't stop grinning. "You and Discord make such a great and cute pair. You must be learning so much from each other to be able to trust in one another so well. It almost makes me want to cry..."

You and Discord look at each other. Not the words you'd describe the relationship. But things were getting better. You both give each other a wink of good will.

Fluttershy then gasped "..Oh no...I forgot! She turned and grabbed a large plate with her mouth. It had sandwiches on it.. "havme somfe samdmfiches". Her voice was muffled from holding the plate.

"Thank you Fluttershy...ahh yes, just the way I like them." Discord takes his and starts munching away "perfection"

You look at the plate. You then looked down at your hooves. Damn...

Fluttershy started to become concerned that you weren't taking any sandwiches. and holds the plate closer to you.

......only one way.

You plunge your face into the sandwiches and slam them into your mouth. creating two large bubbles of fur on either side of your cheek as you chewed profusely and swallowed.

Fluttershy put down the plate and was astonished by your act "I-I guess you were really hungry Anon..."

you had to take a breath from taking in such a huge load of food at once as you rubbed your adorable plump tummy, a little embarrassed that you had to do an uncouth act to eat a sandwich .
"You can say that...."
With the sandwiches gone, Fluttershy had wondered if she should make more.
"Did you both enjoy your sandwiches?...Do you need anymore?" Fluttershy asked.

"I do, but I can just do this if I so fact. I think I will do it." Discord reached into his mouth. Pulling one of his sandwiches from the reaches of his stomach. He then smashed the sandwich between his talons and paw. And when he pulled them away. The Sandwich had grown 20 times bigger. He then tossed it in mid air. and opened his mouth as it went smoothly down his throat.

you smiled. Seeing magical acts that are not only cool, but leave you intact. Was one of the many reasons you wanted to be here.

Fluttershy giggled, amused at the act. "That was amazing Discord!"

"Naturally, if it wasn't amazing then I'd have to call myself Norman" Discord took his bow.

With that done, Fluttershy then turned her attention towards you. "Speaking of learning, Anon...How do you feel about school?"

School...You hadn't really considered that at all. With your superior human intellect. It seems sort of stupid to have to go through it again.

"It''s ok I guess. But I'm much too smart for that sort of thing....For a young colt such as myself to be held down by the shackles of education when I myself have both great intellect and a compendium of knowledge. Well...It's simply criminal if I do say so myself"

Fluttershy, was again, astonished. She didn't think any colt your age..or what she thought was your age...could have such linguistic skills. "..U-umm..I...umm" She didn't know how to reply to that.

Discord cleared his throat "Ahh but young master Anon, have you ever inquired to yourself that your compendium of knowledge may be rendered inert due to the elementary fact that said knowledge might not be as polished as you may think?"

You knew enough. You had five seasons of ponies under your belt.
"Well then father, if you wish. You may challenge my wisdom and knowledge at your own behest. I'm ready and willing."

Fluttershy just blinked. silent. She had no words.

Discord put on a professor's cap and put a pipe in his mouth. "Well then dear colt. Tell me, in the first battle between me and Princess Celestia and her sister. What spell did they use to try to vanquish me?" As Discord spoke, bubbles came out of his pipe.

You grin arrogantly

"Well dear father, it was obviously the spell that comes from the elements of harmony"

Discord starts to grin, as he removes his pipe and stares down at you "Are you sure about that?"

You nod. Starting to feel nervous.

"Anon...that was actually the final battle. Princess Celestia and Luna actually used a powerful imprisoning spell to send Discord to Tartarus. Or at least that’s what it says in the history books" Fluttershy interjected, as she patted your head "It was a good try though"

"Ahh, that was a lovely thirty second visit. Had I not been imprisoned for a thousand years I'd probably be able to find where I left some of the pictures I took." Discord added, giving you a smug look as he did.

Shit....First battle..first battle...there was nothing in the show about that.

You clear your throat, and look around, irritated with yourself.
"W-well, that bit of history is sort of advanced...even for one such as myself."

Discord had to hold in his laughter. He turned away as you could hear some titters coming from him.

Fluttershy raised her hoof however, in a matter of factly kind of way "Actually Anon.... that's something all colts and fillies learn at a young age. Usually with a field trip right where Discord used to a statue of course."

"ahrm..ahm..ah..well, I guess I just sort of forgot. Quick, give me another, I'm ready this time!"

"Alright then, let's see...ahh yes. Tell me how changelings acquired the holes on their body," Discord tapped his pipe on his talon. as a bubble five times bigger than the pipe just "burped" out from it. started to feel your confidence return. You had more knowledge on pone than most Anons would. Or you thought you did. You knew you had enough to answer this one.
"Everypony knows it's from a battle with Princess Celestia, come on, way too easy"

Both Discord and Fluttershy quietly stare at you. Fluttershy with confusion, Discord with his signature grin.

"....uhm?...That was right, right?"

Fluttershy shook her head "They just naturally grow them, it's a sign of maturity for them Anon."

Discord gave you a demoralizing and patronizing pat on the head "What a silly thing to say Anon, I think you've been reading too many comics."

You could say nothing. Even with the knowledge you had. It wasn't enough.

Fluttershy gave you a sweet little hug to help you feel better "It's alright Anon...please don't feel ashamed or feel that you are're not. You just didn't know those things...But if you go to school, then not only will you learn about those things..but other things too...doesn't that sound wonderful?"

She was hugging felt such a motherly warmth from her. You couldn't even imagine what Pinkie hugs would feel like. You now she'd probably be more zealous. Either way, without fail, you feel yourself in a fuzzy trance. And yet, you couldn’t shake the feeling of failure.

Fluttershy smiled as she squeezed you just a tad tighter "I'm so glad to hear that! I promise you'll enjoy yourself Anon. You’ll learn so many great things. And you'll be able to make so many friends."

You open your eyes wide......oh shit. Was there no avoiding school? You knew you knew enough. You had to have...right?

Chapter 19

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"B-but I already know a lot of things. I can do math really well and read really good."
fuck, you felt ashamed. That's all you were really good at.

"Anon, you're young. Even if you are good at math and reading. You need to learn so many other things too. You'll learn so many valuable skills and who knows..." Fluttershy gave you a spirit lifting smile "...You might learn a skill so well that it could be your special talent. And you know what that means right?" had to ask Discord at some point if you could even get something like that on your flank. You wondered how artificial your form really was.
"my Cutie Mark?"

Fluttershy nods "Mhmmm! And trust me, it's one of the best feelings ever!"

Right...You weren't too sure about that. But you weren't going to argue this. not anymore.

Time to accept your fate. You weren't getting out of this. You already technically agreed.
"Well...I can't argue that I guess.. I mean. Everypony wants their cutie mark right? so do I go to school? Do I just go..or?"

"Well that's why we're here Anon, Fluttershy was going to take you to the schoolhouse to get you enrolled." Discord said

"Me?...don't you mean we? Discord, you have to be the one to actually tell miss Cheerilee that you want to enroll Anon...You're the father. I can't do everything for you. But I'll be there to help you in case anything happens." Fluttershy gives him a cheerful smile

Discord flinches, and starts to tap his talons to his paw. He was nervous. "But Fluttershy, that whole process is annoying and bothersome to somepony such as myself. I was hoping you'd do it for me. I promise next time I'll do it. Spirit of Chaos's honor!"

Fluttershy glared at Discord, feeling disappointment in him." know you need to do this. You're his father. what kind of example would you be setting if you took the easy way out?"

You give Discord a false look of shock and worry. Keeping up your little act.
"You wouldn't flake out, would you Dad? wouldn't..flake out on me...would you?"

Fluttershy quickly gave you a hug to calm you, even though you needed no calming. "It's alright Anon, you don't need to worry. Your father won't do that. He's gentle and kind and good deep inside...he just gets scared sometimes."

Discord was about to shake his fist at you. But hearing those words about himself. It soothed his very soul....but he couldn't let you label him as some sort of wuss. "Oh please, I'd rather be labeled lazy than a coward. If doing this boring and simple task avoids such a label then of course I'll do it myself. The spirit of chaos does not "flake" out"

Fluttershy stops hugging you, and raised her hoof to wipe off your tears. Until she noticed you didn't have any, So she just patted your head. "There see? Sometimes he just needs a firm push."

You wouldn't exactly call that firm. Nevertheless. You smile and nod, and look at Discord with a smile, half smug.
"Way to go Dad, You're super cool!"

Discord rolled his eyes at you. He knew what was up. But those words from Fluttershy really did get him, and as long as you didn't go overboard. He wouldn't do anything hasty. Especially not in front of Fluttershy.
" anycase. We should head to the schoolhouse then and get this over with."

Fluttershy agreed, and the three of you were off......instantly..Discord wastes no time in teleporting the three of you right in front of the schoolhouse.

Both you and Fluttershy had to readjust your senses from the sudden teleport.

"Oh my...that was so sudden...Discord..can you please warn somepony next time you do that?"

Discord let out a puppy actual puppy whine as he gave big sad eyes to Fluttershy "...ok, i'm sorry"

Fluttershy looked into his eyes and felt a little bad for being so stern...or as stern as she thought she was as she flies up and gives him a hug "I forgive you, I know you only did that because you are anxious, but it'll be ok Discord. One step at a time."

Discord hugged Fluttershy back, as he peered at you with a face suggesting that "He can get hugs from her just as well as you can"

You didn't particularly care. He couldn't amount to the same cuteness you had. Hell, You still had other ponies you could try to cuddle up to as well. Besides, you got a kiss from Celestia day fucking one, how boss is that?

The truce itself between you and Discord seemed pretty flimsy though. You both were still trying to get at each other. As long as neither of you took it to ridiculous lengths again. It should be fine.

With that little display over. You had to ask a question before you all proceeded
"Why isn't there any fillies or colts in school right now?"

Fluttershy answered "Well, it's sunday Anon...No school"

......right...course. Same as the human world.

And with that, you three head inside.

It was as cozy as it seemed from the show. With cute little desks sitting in an orderly fashion. At the teacher's desk was Miss Cheerilee herself. Who seemed to be busy with something. Perhaps getting ready for tomorrow. She was cute could already sense you might have a few "fantasies"

Discord just stared at her. And then looked at Fluttershy.

Fluttershy just looked up at Discord and gestured with her hoof to walk up to her and talk.

It was becoming clear that Discord didn't want to have a chat that didn't exactly end in someone being pranked or messed with. This was a legit orderly thing to do. Meaning he had to be on his "best" behavior. Especially with Fluttershy watching him.

Discord stopped for a moment, looked back at Fluttershy, and then back at the busy teacher horse and finally spoke. "Excuse me Miss Cheerilee, may have I have a word?"

"Of course you can Mr." Cheerilee finally looked up, to see who had addressed her. Her face instantly turns white"D-D-Discord?! W-What are you doing here?!"

Discord immediately turns to Fluttershy and points to the frightened teacher "Look Fluttershy! See? That's exactly what I meant." Discord crosses his arms "I don't even get any pleasure from this. Since all it does is delay in doing more interesting things.Look at her face! And to think, she'd visit me every year with no problems when I was a statue, I thought she'd show a little more respect"

Fluttershy had noticed Cheerilee's reaction. She was cowering behind her desk. She then turned back to Discord "Discord..You don't need to be mean about it. Here, I'll talk to her and see if I can calm her down. She's probably just a little uncomfortable."

Discord rolled his eyes silently, still feeling insulted.

You just looked on. Well, it makes sense his presence would still be frightening to some ponies if he was to just show up uninvited. Given the whole Tirek thing. And the fact he had trashed Ponyville before.

Fluttershy walked up to Cheerilee "Hello Miss Cheerilee...I'm sorry if we scared you. We didn't mean too..honest."

Cheerilee pointed to Discord. "Fluttershy...was it necessary to bring him in here? What if there was children present?"

Fluttershy wanted to do her best to calm her down. She didn't agree with how she was acting though "Miss Cheerilee...please don't be scared of Discord...he came here for very good reasons, you're not even giving him a chance."

"Chance? Chance?! Fluttershy....I've read everything there is to know about him to teach the students just how dangerous he can be and why disharmony is an awful thing to follow.Simply put, he's a menace! And besides, he was given a chance. And he betrayed everypony. You can't expect everypony to just easily forgive him. Just because the princesses have, doesn't mean I have. There's children I have to care for and I can't let such influences near them. You should know that better than anypony"

Fluttershy frowned "I do..but Discord isn't bad or mean...He's just misunderstood."

Cherilee popped her head up a little, if only to take a glance at him incase he was trying something before fixing her gaze back at Fluttershy "Fluttershy, can you just please tell me what he wants so he can leave?"

Fluttershy was getting upset at Cherilee, that was no way to act "Miss Cheerilee..I'm surprised at you. I always knew you to be fair and have good judgement...and you won't even give Discord a chance...that's...Ohhh..I don't want to say's extreme...but...That makes you a big meanie!"

oooohhh..Fluttershy said a curse word...or as big as a curse word she'd be willing to say. You were just waiting on your cue.

Cheerilee was silent. But she appeared moved by Fluttershy's assertiveness and slowly rose from behind her desk. "....You're right Fluttershy...If Discord came to see me about something important...then it'd be wrong of me to turn him away just because of prejudice." She looks towards Discord, apologetically "Mr.Discord..What did you want to see me about?"

Discord turned back to look at her, his tone of voice being rather snooty "That's more like it. Anyway, I came to see you because I wish to have my son enrolled in your fine school so he can learn,grow, make friends and other such nonsense."

"Son?" Miss Cheerilee seemed confused and looked around the room until she noticed you. You smile and wave at her.

"......oh...Sweet Celestia..." Cheerilee muttered under her breath. shocked at the sight of you. She turns to Fluttershy "Fluttershy...please tell me he isn't serious."

Discord scoffed and stepped up right at the front of her desk and looked at her sternly "Excuse me, but I do believe I was talking to you. And Yes...I am being serious. And I'd appreciate it if you took me seriously as well. Honestly, i'm appalled."

"You're appalled?!" Cheerilee looks over to him, now she seemed angry, self righteous fury taking over. She could already tell you were adopted. That much she could see as you weren't a draconequus. "I'm appalled you'd take on a child to corrupt with your wicked ways! Then bring him here to corrupt my students!"

...Hey! take offense to that. It's not as if you were going to fiddle with them or anything.

"Corrupt?! Please! Children do well on their own on being brats. But they least they have the decency of showing respect to their elders!" Discord huffed, making a direct comment on Cheerilee’s behaviour towards him in accordance with his age.

Fluttershy could feel an argument coming on, she knew she had to stop it "...o-ok...I think perhaps we should all take a breather...and.."

"Are you implying just because you’re older that you deserve respect? You betrayed ponies everywhere! And that is a terrible act deserving of nothing but contempt!" Cheerilee started to raise her voice.

"Oh, yes. I understand that. But perhaps if you ponies had understood my needs a little better like Fluttershy here then maybe I wouldn't have done what I did."

"Discord...Miss Cheerilee...please" Fluttershy's voice was quivering. As the two continued to snipe and argue.

Even you had to cringe. For being adults. They were acting pretty childish. Even if Cheerilee was doing what she thought was right. It still looked bad. Discord did try being nice at the start. You couldn't fault him for that.

Poor Fluttershy, she was just trying to get them to calm down. However...she was reaching her pique and...

Discord and Cheerilee both immediately stop.

Fluttershy was angry and huffing...until it just hit her that she had yelled angrily. She looked down and frowned. "s-s-s-sorry...I..I just didn't like you both arguing in front of Anon like that..."

...awww...poor Fluttershy...

You walked up and gave her a compassionate hug. You did it to help her feel better...nothing more
"It's ok Aunt Fluttershy...please don't be sad. It's not your fault..please smile.."

Discord was the first of the two to speak. You took a glance at him during the hug. He looked miserable for what he did "F-fluttershy...Don't be upset with me. I just lost my cool..that's all..."

Cheerilee took a little more time to assess the situation before responding. Looking at you, you seemed as kindly as Fluttershy in her eyes. Respectful...nothing like she thought you'd be being adopted by Discord...but she also heard "Aunt" Fluttershy. It could be to her that Fluttershy was raising you really...She couldn't be sure. Also, Discord had not used any of his chaotic magic to get his way or mess with her. He only used his words. She only knew of Discord from what she read and brief run ins with him. And this was severely out of the norm. "...hmm..Perhaps I should be the one to apologize. I'm supposed to be reasonable and fair, instead I just made a biased judgement and stuck with it. As a teacher, I simply cannot permit that. So, I'd like to be the first to apologize...I'm sorry Discord for being so rude. And again, for allowing my prejudices and prior judgments affect my decision making."

"And I apologize..for......the things I you upset." Discord turns to Fluttershy with a soft smirk, his tone not being completely serious with his apology as he felt he was the better man "Was that adequate?"

You stop cuddling on Fluttershy so she can answer. She gives you a brief head nuzzle before looking over to Discord and nodding "You didn't hesitate so that's should be a little more heartfelt next time's good to let the other pony know that you know what you did was wrong..But..I think that was ok..but it's really up to Miss Cheerilee.."

Miss Cheerilee nods "'s fine. The fact he apologized at all is enough for me. Especially since I instigated this.As a teacher, it's up to me to not allow pride and prejudice control my actions. I must be a leader, especially in the ways of educating the young minds of today....and in that regard. I don't mind taking your son in as another student in my class." Cheerilee reached into her desk and pulled out some papers and placed them flat onto of her desk. "I just need you to spend the day filling out these forms so we can get everything in order for him."

Chapter 20

View Online

Discord picked up the papers and turned them side by side, he seemed perplexed "The WHOLE day? To fill out some very arguably unneeded paperwork? Surely you jest."

Cheerilee slid a pen across her desk to him as she explained the process "Every parent needs to fill these papers out. It's so I know exactly what the needs are for their child in case of an emergency or a situation comes up. In other words, It's to make sure your child is taken care of in case anything goes wrong"

Cheerilee slowly peered over to you, she was looking for any kind of deceit from you. But the way you were acting. You seemed like a very loving and caring child in trying to have cheered up Fluttershy.

"And you expect me to sign all of this within the day?!" Discord was having none of this it seemed.

Cheerilee nodded "It should only take you a couple of hours really...Is that a problem?"

Fluttershy took to Discord's side and took a look at the papers in his hands "Discord, I know this must be difficult considering you haven't had Anon for too long. If you want, I can help you. We can figure it out together"

Discord put his paw forward in front of Fluttershy in a gesture that suggests refusal "Come now Fluttershy, it's merely paper with words on them. I can have this filled out in..ngh...GHMMM...GRRMMM"

Suddenly, Discord started to hack up and cough.

Everyone, including you, took notice

Fluttershy had an intense worry on her face "D-Discord?! Discord are you alright?"

Cheerilee just raised her eyebrow, she was skeptic, although inside she was a little worried "Mr.Discord?"

You took a quick look at his face to see if he was faking. No, he was indeed turning a reddish color.
You prepared yourself incase it was one of his usual tricks, but remained ready to help him if it wasn't.
"Hey..Dad..are you alright?"

Without any warning or words. Discord hocked up bright red liquid all over the papers, Cheerilee's desk, and Cheerilee herself.

Both mares shrieked at the sight of it, Cheerilee especially. They had never seen something so grotesque. Both mares fainted nearly on the spot. Even you were taken back. But not enough to faint.

Discord wiped his lips and cleared his throat "What was that? I couldn't hear you over my vomit."

He...was fine. But still. You had to make sure.
"What? Do you not care that you just hacked blood everywhere?! I can't believe I'm saying this, but now i'm worried for your safety. I've never seen blood on the freaking show before!"

"Safety? Blood?" Discord looked around "What in the wide wide world of Equestria are you talking about, Anon?"

"You just..." You stop yourself as you notice the blood begin to quickly dissipate. Discord puts down the papers as the blood disappears from least most of it. What's left behind is various signatures and writings left in red. "...hold on a second.."

You move closer and take a sniff at the papers....that wasn't blood...
"Ink?...You hacked up ink?!"

"Why yes, of course. Anon...Did you really think I was going to spend more than five seconds signing some useless paperwork when I can get it done in two seconds?!"

Part of you wanted to laugh, the other part was more worried about Fluttershy.
"Did it have to be red ink? You couldn't have picked another color?"

Discord shook his head "Other colors don't show up or are as vibrant as red, Anon. I wanted to make absolutely sure she could read everything I wrote."

"Discord..that could have been done in black ink...and besides. Look at Fluttershy. She's fainted and...hey.." As you turn to Fluttershy, her fallen form was resting comfortably on pillows.

Discord gave a pat to your head and snickered "I think she'll be alright Anon"

You turn over to Cheerilee, whose face has slammed onto the desk. She was drooling. Poor poor Cheerilee, Discord didn’t bother at all to make her fall as comfy as Fluttershy’s.

Without a word, Discord throws up the pen to snap his fingers. Producing a magical map in front of you. and a saddle bag around you. "Take this Anon, it's a map of Ponyville that shows you exactly where you are at any given time."

"oh...hey..that's pretty nifty actually.ok so if i'm....ugh"
You reach for the floating map, but the moment you touch it. it falls flat on the ground.
"...ugh...fine..give me a second"
You keep trying to pick up the map with your hooves, but you can't get any kind of grip. Instead of getting angry, you take a breath, calm down, and look at Discord.
"Hey Discord, can ya help a son out here? Couldn't you give me a horn or something?"

Discord didn't answer you, instead he just gave you instruction "Anon, look at the bottom of your hooves."

"What? what does that have to do with anything?"

"Just do it"

you raise your hoof, and turn it to look at the bottom. " what?"

"See your frogs? those have little itty bitty muscles that allow you to grab objects. sometimes you need both your hooves, like for cups or chainsaws. But you should be able to pick up that map if you just focus on your hoof as if it about thinking of it as a puny little hand?"

hrm..that could work. You decide to try it. You place your hoof on the map, and try to grip as hard as you can. And the moment you lift your hoof, the map comes along with it. You are ecstatic
You wave the map about

Discord chuckled "Bravo Anon, you sure showed those foals down at the daycare center whose boss. Perhaps next you can astound us with the amazing ability of blinking"

You chuckle at that, even if it is a little humiliating "Hey come on, I've never been a pony before until a couple of days ago. I'm still learning. I think I could even pick up the books back home now."

"You should be able to, yes. In anycase Anon, time is a commodity we always use so you might want to spend it wisely and get going. And please do be careful, alright?"

It then clicks
"Are you actually worried about me?...or are you just worried I might screw things up?"

"Both. You are my son now after all. I think a father is supposed to worry about the well being of their young."

You nod almost subconsciously, he was right about that. You give him a smile.
"Well..thanks Dad. Oh, and one more thing.."

You start putting the map in the saddle bag as Discord wraps Fluttershy in a blanket. "hrn?"

"That ink spit up thing, If you ever pull that off again. Pop your eyes too, trust me. I've seen a lot of movies. Girls always freak out at that stuff"

Discord starts to ponder, then smiles "That's actually a great idea Anon. Brilliant really. I just wonder...would it work on Rainbow Dash and Applejack?"

you nod, there was no question about it.
"It probably would, those two aren't as brave as they let on. Something like that would definitely do the trick"

Discord smile contorts to an evil grin "yes..yes...I'll keep that in mind, brilliant thought Anon."

You bow
"As expected from being the son of the spirit of chaos...welp...gotta go see Applebloom now. Don't do anything crazy! seeya!"

Discord says nothing, he just waves at you while he teleports away with a comfy unconscious Fluttershy.

You were alone now. You walked out of the schoolhouse and looked around. Then took a deep breath to enjoy the fresh air.
" actually feels nice to breath here. Cleanest air I've ever whiffed up let's seeee.."
You whip out the map, and take a look.
"Hrn...the apple farm is over here...the clubhouse is right next to it and if I take this path around Sugarc-....hrnnn..Sugarcube corner"
You stared at the map, at the location of confectionery house of treats and cakes. And began to think deeply about your actions.

"It's not as if it's not along the way or anything. Besides, I bet Pinkie would get upset that she didn't know about me....that is. Unless somebody has already told her. wouldn't take that long. Go in, say hi, walk out."
You started to feel a shivering excitement course through your very bones as you think about it.
"she'll probably give me some hugs, a treat...oh boy. Good stuff. Maybe if I'm really nice. She'll give me a kiss...."

Suddenly your expression droops to a terrible realization of self awareness
"Holy shit Anon, you're getting excited for a kiss....thats a far cry from getting some....god you're lonely...Whatever it's fine. It's going to be a million times better than anything else because it's coming from her. And if not. At least you'll have met her....ok...See Pinkie, See Applebloom, get back to the cottage. No this."
And with that alteration to the plan, you head to Sugarcube Corner to accomplish a mission of your very own.

You still didn't seem to care that Cheerilee fell flat on her own desk

Chapter 21

View Online

the CMC's tour was very miniscule in scope compared to what you were seeing now. You were in the middle of town. The hustle of ponies, many a cutie mare, running around happy or with some sort of problem that could be solved in twenty two minutes. No shooting, no overprotective parents, kids playing happily, everyone saying hi to one another....truly paradise. also lots of mare booty.

You stop every so often to play "Spot the BG pony" or look at your map. It wouldn't be much longer. You wondered what would happen if you ran into Lyra, you wonder if the human fetish thing extended out of the fandom.

after awhile, you reach your destination.. There it was. THERE IT WAS...Sugarcube corner.
As you walk towards it. You finally see her. Just outside, that literal party animal, Pinkie Pie.. And she was using her Party Cannon for something.
It seems she was aiming at a new signboard just above the entrance. next to her was a very worried Mr. Cake.

"Pinkie, are you sure this is a good idea? I could just go up there and hammer those nails myself."

Pinkie just gave him one of her usual big smiles and in a big bubbly voice "Not to worry Mr. Cake! Why go up there and risk falling when we can get all the nails hammered in one go. all safe and sound from down here"

Mr.Cake looked at the signboard, then around at the other ponies going about their day, then back at Pinkie. Even more nervous. "I don't know Pinkie, I don't think shooting hammers out of a cannon is safe for anypony. Are you sure you want to do this? I can just go up there and hammer it myself, really!"

Pinkie prepares to pull back the string "Truuuuuuuuust me, have I ever let you down before?"

Mr.Cake's voice began to stutter. "W-well no Pinkie, and I really do appreciate the help. B-but I was just thinking this wasn't as good sounding an idea as when you first told it to me."

Pinkie seemed to be making some final adjustments. You inched closer. But still kept a distance. You didn't want to interrupt her. "Are you sure? I just don't want you to hurt yourself again Mr. Cake. You fell down yesterday trying to put the sign up and hurt your leg."

Mr.Cake seemed hesitant, then raised his leg and shook it. His face was slightly contorted form the pain. as if he was trying to hold it back "It's not that bad..ngh..Pinkie..s-see?"

He was lying, you could see the bruise from where you stood. You decided to move just close enough to be right behind them.

Pinkie's ears drooped as she frowned "....ok..."

Mr.Cake rubbed the back of his head, he felt a little bad for getting her hopes up like that "..umm..Well Pinkie, if you really want to help. You could hold the ladder for me. That way I won't fall down and hurt one of my other legs. Is that ok?"

Pinkie immediately beamed and saluted to him "YESSIR MR.CAKE SIR. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THAT LADDER!"
And she zipped off into the shop before you could even say a word.

Mr.Cake chuckled sweetly "That Pinkie Pie, always eager to please...I hope she isn't upset, ngh.and I hope this leg heals soon. Can't have the Mrs. doing all the work."

It was now or never. You'll just walk up and speak to Mr.Cake first so it doesn't look odd to anyone that you're just sitting there. Besides, you wanted to get a look at that party cannon.

You say as you approach the sitting cannon.

"Hello?" Mr.Cake looked around, until noticing you, he then put on a rather fatherly smile "Well hey little guy, didn't see you there, how are you today?"

you tap the cannon, nothing happens. clings and clangs with every tap.
"I'm alright, just looking at this really cool cannon and stuff."

"Well it is top of the line. Owned by our very own party pla-...say...I don't think I've ever seen you before. What's your name little guy?"

You turn to face Mr. Cake. He was the one of the proud owners of this establishment of course. And from what you remember from the show. He and his wife are pretty nice. They did let Pinkie live in an upstairs apartment within the place itself.
"Oh...I'm new, I've never really been around Ponyville before, so I'm just exploring. This is Sugarcube Corner right?"

Course it was

Mr.Cake nodded and started to reach into the pocket of his apron and pulled out a green cube. "Yes indeedy, this is where you can get any kind of cake or pastry you could possibly imagine." He holds the cube near you. "Want a flavored Sugar Cube? This one is green apple, we started selling these today!"

Selling?....OH SHIT..that's right. You didn't have any money. And didn't even think of asking Discord for a few bits.
"I'm sorry, I don't have any money"

Mr.Cake just gave you a gentle smile and reached back into his apron to pull out a few more along with a cloth and string. And with quick skill, he wrapped it all as a little bag and put it in your saddle bag. "It's on the house, there is such thing as free samples. Besides, you don't even have to eat them now. You can use them to decorate a cake or even give a drink an extra punch. They are really cheap to make and full of flavor!"

You giggle, that was a cute sales pitch. And he was nice enough to wrap up a small bag's worth for you.
"Thanks mister....say..who was that Pony who was with you?"

"You mean Pinkie Pie? A friend and the best party planner Ponyville's got. Speaking of, if you plan to stick around. You better prepare yourself"

You had an idea why, but for childish whimsy sake, you ask why anyway
"How come?"

Mr.Cake chuckled as he looked up at the signboard for a moment to make sure it hadn't moved. It was place up there but not nailed in yet. "Well, since you're new. And you've never met Pinkie...well..that means she'll probably be more than happy to meet you. She's the friendliest pony you'll ever meet."

You wanted to rub your hooves together like some evil mastermind, all according to plan. You continue to feign ignorance.
"Golly gee, is she really that friendly?"

"You betcha, She's friends with everypony in town. Sometimes I wonder what'd we do without her. Oh, look. There she is."

Pinkie was balancing herself on her hindlegs as she bumbled about holding a rather large ladder "MR.CAKE I GOT THE LADDER! HERE I COME!"
Pinkie bumbled and wobbled over and placed the ladder right under the signboard and then wiped her brow "Wooo, almost thought I was gonna trip. But no siree, Mr.Cake said he wanted a ladder and I got it!" Pinkie then turns to Mr.Cake and salutes "Missio-....HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Pinkie suddenly yells out in a high pitched shrill. Mr.Cake seemed fine with it. You however, now hearing it in person, felt your ears rings.
Before you could say a word, Pinkie dashed right over to you. And leaned down to your eye level. Looking directly at your own eyes, a big smile on her face "I've never seen you before!What's your name?!Where are you from!? who's your mom and dad?! What's your favorite color?! Is it your birthday?!"

Oh geez, she was shooting questions at you like a machine gun.

Mr.Cake chimed in and gave Pinkie a pat "Slow down Pinkie, I think you're going a little too fast. Why don't you ask what his name is first?"
Pinkie chuckled in embarrassment "Oh right....Guess I got overexcited again.. So, what's your name?"

you felt a warmth in your heart. She seemed really happy to see you. Then again, she's always happy to see anyone. Still, it's still enough bubbly happiness to make you feel special.
"My name is Anon,Miss Pinkie"

"Miss Pinkie?" Pinkie blew a raspberry, she didn't like that "Just call me Pinkie Pie! or Pinkie! You don't have to say Miss or anything like that. too formal"


Now that you were face to face with her. You had no idea what to say. You were limited on what you thought you could talk about. And you didn't want to get into anything needlessly complicated like your "origins"..unless she herself asked of course.

Pinkie however took it as a sign of nervousness and immediately picked you up, Rolled onto her back, and cuddled you onto her belly "You don't need to be nervous Anon! I'm not gonna hurt ya! I'm as soft as cotton candy!" She giggled.

Mr.Cake smiled at the sight. But he had work to do, and pulled a hammer out of the cannon before going up on the ladder.

You were immediately lost, and bright red in the face as you were cuddled onto Pinkie's near gelatinous, fuzzy soft and warm body. You instinctively nuzzled back.

"Awwww, you're an affectionate little guy. Usually when I hug a colt they yell out that I have cooties or something...I don't even know that that is."

You don't say anything, you just cuddle right there. You wanted this to last forever.
But unfortunately, all good things must eventually end, except in the case of Pinkie, which things only get better from. Pinkie picks you up gently with her hooves, boops your nose with her own. and leans over to put you down as she spring upwards, spins,and lands on her hooves "Ha! Perfect landing!"
You still said nothing, That boop bump left you intoxicated with the fuzzy feels.

Pinkie looked at you and noticed your blushing, she inched over in concern "You ok Anon...You aren't sick are you?"

The tone in Pinkie's voice from happy to concern snaps you out of it some. You realized you may have been in some kind of stupor and so tried to recover
"O-oh no no, just a little dizzy from all that hugging."

"Really? Nopony has ever got dizzy from my hugs before. awwww, does that mean I can't hug you anymore?" Pinkie frowned, she really liked hugging.

"O-oh..umm..what I meant it being so sudden...I mean..I liked the hug. I really really liked it."

" no surprise hugs then" Pinkie felt she had figured out what was wrong

" surprise hugs too...It's um. just..."

You had nothing, half your brain was thinking while another half of you was thinking something lewd..
Fuck wanted another hug. That was the warmest welcome you've had yet. She didn't even make mention of your name being "off".
You jumped up onto Pinkie's back and started rubbing and hugging onto her. You had quite a spring to your step. Must be horse legs.
"I-I just liked to give surprise hugs too!"

You felt like a kid again, for real this time, with some added soft list. This had to be some voodoo magic Pinkie witchcraft. You didn't expect to get this nuzzly.

"Awwwwwww" Pinkie turned around and gave you a nurturing ruffle of your mane with a hoof "You're the cutest colt I ever met, but ya better not hug me too much! your mom might get jealous!" She giggled "Speaking of parents, where are they? Have I met them? because if I have" She suddenly growls and makes an angry face as she shakes her hoof "I'm gonna be awfully sore they didn't tell me they had a son. All those missed birthdays....." she narrows her eyes "...All...those...birthdays..."

Suddenly, you could feel every warm feeling being replaced with dread. You didn't want to tell her you were an orphan. You knew what that would do to someone like her. this was not the time for it, you had someplace else to be after all.
You hopped off her back and inched away from her
"oh umm..well my mom's not here"


Oh to approach this...
"no no, Pinkie, I'm just travelling around by"
You whisper in a lone tone, the singular word
then go back to speaking normally
"Are doing other things, I'm out exploring!"

"Oh, ok! I guess I can meet them later! Maybe we can have a big family party to welcome you all! Since I know we're all gonna be great friends!"

Wow, friends already. She works fast...jackpot. Now that you regained control of the situation. Time to put on the ole Anon charm.
"Y-you wanna be friends with me?"
You were so coy. All you had to do was act snuggly and cute and she just ate it up like a cupcake.

"Of course silly! I can tell just from your face that you really really really want to be friends with me too! It's weird, it's almost like you've known me for a long time from a distance so far that I'd never be able to notice, not even with my Pinkie Sense! and also! was in love with me or something with how affectionate you are!.....but that's just silly. You're just a sweet nice little colt!"


You immediately force fake laughter from yourself.
"haha, that's really something..hahaha...ha"

Pinkie tilted her head and looked at you more sharply for a moment, as if she knew your laugh was fake. But then she smiled and giggled and gave you a soft hug. "I like you Anon...and since you really really wanna be friends. I gotta think of a cute nickname to go with your cuteness. How does Nonny sound?"

You nod profusely, you didn't want her to switch to anything else. You looked like a damned madman with the way you flailed about.

Pinkie looked at you suddenly with a face of confusion. She was looking at you as if you had just lost the lottery but was celebrating anyway.
you calmed yourself to meekness
"..ahrm..I mean...t-that's great..."

She then immediately goes back to her endearing smile and gives you a pat "Nonny it is!"

Now that nicknames were being given out. You wanted to try and press your luck. If the scriptures of the green was truly on your side. Then this should work.
"Can I give you a nickname, Pinkie?"

She nodded "uh huh! Lay it on me Nonny! I'm ready!"

You had to let out a light hearted giggle. Pinkie was the easiest friend you've made so far without causing some sort of trouble . Well except for that line about you being from a far off place and being in love with her. It did sting your heart a little being reminded you're now too young for her. But with all this good feels. You could let it pass. You got this far after all.
"Can I call you Ponk?"

Pinkie went silent for a moment and rubbed under her muzzle "Ponk?...hmmmmnn..Ponk.."

Oh shit..did she not like it? You were hoping she'd take to it immediately.
"Righ-right's a du-"

But you get cut off as Pinkie continues to say it, then add on to it. "Ponk, Ponka...Ponka Poo, Ponka Pee, Panka Pa!" She then starts to hop about, saying names in a sing song fashion "Ponka,Panka,Pinkie,Pookie! That's really fun to say!"

nevermind, she liked it.

Suddenly, Mr.Cake calls out "Pinkie, can you please hold the ladder for me? I'm going to try to hammer in the higher nails now"

Pinkie snapped to attention "Right away Mr.Cake! Wait right here Nonny, I'll be right back!" much as you wanted to wait. You were sensible to realize you still had other shit to do. And you didn't know how long you'd be stuck with Pinkie if you waited for her. It's not like you wanted to leave, you just didn't want to make Discord wait too long. You knew..or at least hoped..he hasn't been watching you. You knew he had plans, and absurd as it sounds for him to be troubled by your little detour may sound, it was not something you should risk. You weren't some cartoon character who would have lost track of time or anything. You were sharper than that and this detour already ate up some time as is.

"A-actually Ponk..I gotta get going. I got a few more things to do and then I gotta meet up with my Dad...It was really really really great meeting you though!"

Pinkie frowned "Awwwwwwwwww....ok. But be sure to visit again! and bring your parents too!"

yeah no...she'd find out eventually about the whole parents thing. But you weren't even sure if you could make that happen, nor did you want to bring Discord over. you felt you wouldn't approve of any tricks he'd pull...You liked Pinkie too much. Hell, it hurt knowing you had things to do. You'd really rather just stay with her for as long as the day allowed. But you just couldn’t risk not being on Discord’s schedule.
"I will! It was really nice meeting you Ponk! Bye Bye!"

"Seeya soon Nonny!" She waved to you, making you wave back in response.

That went smoother than you could imagine, she became your friend in an instant. At one point, you had to come back FOR SURE. For now, you had one last stop however before returning to the cottage.

Chapter 22

View Online

You followed the map all the way to the clubhouse. All the while wondering when you'll get to see Pinkie again, how things will go with DT, and how the CMC were going to react. You also hoped they were all there.

You walk up the boards to the door of the clubhouse. You bring your hoof to knock, but then hesitate.
You meditate in place for a moment. You needed to be in a state of mind that wouldn't seem off.
You think for a few extra moments to plan out your actions, but are unable to think of anything. So...the only option is to hoof it and see how it goes.
You knock.

"Who is it?" It's the voice of Scootaloo.

you get a small feeling of melancholy from hearing her. Last time you were with her you upset her.
"Oh..umm..It's Anon, I wanted to talk to you girls about something."

"Anon? Ok give me a second"

Suddenly, you can hear a lot of hushed whispering. It seems they weren't expecting you, at least...not so soon. You can hear a lot of scrambling about and hushed noises.
Then, the door opens, Scootaloo at the other side of it. But you don't see Sweetie Belle or could have sworn you heard more than one set of hooves shuffling.
you take a breath, and give Scootaloo a warming, nonaggressive smile. You were hoping she wasn't still upset..
"Heya's it going?"

Scootaloo looked away from you, She was looking around the room for something, or she seemed to anyway. She then put on a smile. "Oh nothing really, how are you Anon?"

Well...she's smiling at you. That's a good sign. Well, since it's just you and her. You thought maybe you should apologize to her. You knew one of your goals was to befriend all three of them. And the news you had would cause a less heralding blow if you at least made amends first.
"I'm alright..umm..Hey Scootaloo, about the other day. Look, I want to apologize. I didn't mean to upset you and all. I just..."

You went silent. Did you really want to go as far as to say something along the lines of "Rainbow Dash is super great?". She wasn't THAT bad..but still. She could be cool when she wants to be. It's just sometimes she's so...

But before you could finish thinking. Scootaloo had noticed your pause and spoke. "It's alright Anon, I..I shouldn't have gotten so worked up either. I guess I let my fandom really get the better of me, huh?"

Fandom...ha. If only she knew how much that word had merit in your world. And to you in general. You did have your own favorites after all. the board you visited always had vicious arguments. You wondered for a brief moment how Scootaloo would react to IWTCIRD. But that was neither here nor there.

"Nah, it's fine. Trust me. I can reaaalllly understand it. Back orphanage. We'd get into a fight or two about our"

"Teams? Like the Wonderbolts? How do you feel about them?"

Shittier than Rainbow Dash. Then again. You had to at one point ask Discord how far canoninity goes into this world. You were sure there were some differences. Big one being that you were sure this whole day wasn't gonna be part of an episode any time soon. So you shrugged.
"They are pretty alright. Spitfire a cute-..I mean cut above the rest."

"She's pretty cool, but if Rainbow Dash was in the Wonderbolts..she'd probably be captain in-" Scootaloo is suddenly cut off by a soft noise.


What was that noise?
You and Scootaloo look back. You could have sworn you saw a pink bow behind the cabinet.

Scootaloo reacts to it more than you do though. And seems to try to hurry things along "Right..oh..umm..Anon..I also wanted to thank you for something."

Thank? what'd you do?"
"For what?"

"I heard about how you stood up to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. That you defended Sweetie Belle and Applebloom and even me. How you told them off know.."

Scootaloo looked happy and sad at the same time as she thanked you. no doubt a reminder that she was flightless was something that always torpedoed her mood.

Poor Scootaloo. She's had a hard life. Well...not really..but hard enough in this world.

"It's fine, the way those two were acting. I wasn't going to let them just walk away without an apology." That you were sure of.

Scootaloo's smile slowly grew hearing that "Wow Anon, it's like you're a hero. That's kinda cool. But, is your dad really Discord? I dont-"

"PSSSST...PSSSST" The voices interrupt her again.

Scootaloo suddenly shifted tones to that of more of a presentful manner as she looked back for a moment then towards you. "Right..umm..Anon. Me and the girls were preparing a surprise for you."

Surprise? huh...well..It was obvious at this point they were hiding. But you were a nice guy...for the most part. Best not to ruin their fun. You needed all three present anyway.
"All of you were gonna surprise me? Gee, that's pretty thoughtful. But um....aren't we the only ones here?"

Scootaloo started stepping backwards still facing you "noooope...We're actually all HERE!"

Suddenly, on that cue. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom burst out of their hiding spots as confetti flies and bursts everywhere and balloons float up to the ceiling. The girls themselves all had cute party hats on. Adorable. You had a feeling you knew what this was all about....hope they don't all come crashing down when you finally tell them about Diamond Tiara.

"Well look it all of this, What's the occasion?” You wondered

Applebloom walked up to you and gave you a gentle pound to the chest "Come on Anon, ya gotta be more excited than that. This is yer welcomin' celebration, You're gonna be an official Cutie Mark Crusader like us!" did sort of agree to that.
"o-oh right,Almost forgot about that. So, uhh..anything I gotta do?"

Sweetie Belle shook her head "Not really, all you gotta do is is be sworn in and that's it. We'd have a cape for you and sister is kinda on a rampage...somepony touched the new dress she was working on. So I haven't been able to get any materials"

Your pupils shrink....YOU were that somepony.
"O-oh...well..that's pretty bad"

Sweetie Belle nodded "Yeah, and the weird part is I don't remember anypony coming in and touching it. It's really really strange...but anyway. She'll calm down."


Applebloom got up to begin the necessary requirements for you to be fully accepted into their group. You do what she tells you, say the oath, yadda yadda. It all ends with them being excited and hugging you. If only you got this kind of female attention back home.

Unfortunately, now comes the part where you put a rain on their parade. You really really didn't want to tell them. But you knew you had to. You could only imagine the kind of episode this would make if you didn't tell them and they spotted you with Diamond Tiara. With a lame moral and everything. You were above that.

" that I'm a Cutie Mark Crusader...I can say something and you gals will definitely not have a ridiculous freak out moment...right?"

"Freak out moment? Wait! Do ya already got a bonafide way to get us all cutie marks?!" Applebloom said, again. showing her single minded nature on the subject.

"...not really...It's something else"

"Oh right, you were gonna give us all the details on Discord right? Because I really want to know, that's gotta be pretty crazy" Scootaloo asked.

"Eh..I can save that for next time. I actually can't stay too long. Already cutting it close with the whole pledge thing"

Sweetie Belle took her time to answer, thinking hard. Finally she had her question "You..didn't touch the dress...did you?"

Evade mode activate
"Uhh, well. I don't think I did. I was just looking at it really."

"Oh...hrn...What is it then?" Sweetie Belle asked

"Ya, you're being all secretive about it, we're all crusaders now so ya can tell us! We'll understand!" Applebloom said, trying to encourage you.

Oh boy, probably best not to hesitate any longer. Just tell them and get it over with.

"Wellllll....Applebloom, Sweetie Belle...remember when I went off on Diamond Tiara?"

They both nod

"Ah still think ya went a little overboard, but... ah can forgive it. Ya we're just trying to protect us"

That was true...but damn, you shouldn't have let your blood boil like that.

" didn't actually go and attack Diamond Tiara did you?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"What?! No Actualllllyyyy.."

you take a breath

"...I'm sort of punished for that whole thing and-"

suddenly, a triple collected "WHAT!?" rang out throughout the clubhouse.

"Who punished you?! Do you mean Diamond Tiara sent some thugs to get revenge?" Scootaloo said, bewildered that'd you'd be punished at all. “Did you beat them all up?”

"That can't be right, he looks ok. And I don't think Anon is some super duper warrior.Oh, I know! Did Discord take care of the thugs?" Sweetie Belle added

Applebloom herself seemed quite flabbergasted with the responses from her fellow Crusaders. She was wondering why you were punished...but that was a stretch "Girls...ah think he means he was punished BY Discord"

You nod
"Applebloom got it"

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle became more astonished, Applebloom just intrigued by it.

"Why would he punish you for that?! That sounds like something he'd have been proud of" Scootaloo was sure of it.

"What I want to know is why Diamond Tiara gets off scott free! ooohhhh!" Sweetie Belle felt a tinge of rage build up within her "She always gets away with everything!"

You raise your hoof to correct her
"Acccctuallly......she's punished too"

again, a collective gasp.

"That's ah new one. Never thought that would happen.But Anon, ya got punished because ya went too far, right?" didn't really want to admit that one. You felt that you didn't. She was a gigantic cunt. But Applebloom didn't fully agree with your actions to begin with.
You slowly nod
"Yeah...that's the reason."

Applebloom turned to Sweetie Belle and closed her eyes and nodded "See, told ya he went too far"

Sweetie Belle contested her comment "pfft, only because Discord is nuts."

"Are ya saying our sisters, if we had done somethin' like that, wouldn't punish us either?" Applebloom cocked an eyebrow at Sweetie Belle, she knew the answer. And she knew that she knew too.

"......Wellll...mnn..." Sweetie Belle hung her head "They would..."

Scootaloo however, was now just curious on what the punishment was "So if you and Diamond Tiara are punished....then...what exactly are your punishments?"

Here we go...the big whammy. You chuckled, a little scared of the reaction, hoping a small laugh would lighten your mood.
"Well..that's the funny thing..I sort of...have to hang out with her...or something like that..for awhile. Not sure how long. Isn't that funny?"

They all look like they just found out that someone died. They don't even collectively gasp.

All three looked at each other, and at the same time said "We gotta hide him"


They grabbed you and put you in a corner as you struggled. Then threw a blanket over you and held you down.

"Don't worry Anon, They won't find ya in here! We'll keep ya fed and everything until it all blows over!" Applebloom assured you


"Calm down Anon! We'll protect you!" Sweetie Belle called out.

Scootaloo looked to her as she held you down as well "Wait...who are we protecting him from? Diamond Tiara or Discord? And wouldn't Discord find him anyway if it was him?"

"I dunno, but if he has to hang out with her. What if he turns out worse than Babs did when she was hanging out with her? He might not even be able to recover like she did!" Sweetie Belle said

"ahm...actually...she may have not recovered at all if we didn't..almost..well" Applebloom added.

Dammit, you couldn't even breath under this damn thing.
They didn't even seem to know what they were doing at that point.

Hearing that, they hurriedly remove the blanket. And apologize.

"Sorry Anon, we were just trying to hide you....Do you know a place?" Asked Sweetie Belle

Goddammit..they were worried over nothing! granted they didn't really know you. You weren't going to let yourself get manipulated by Diamond Tiara, if that even was going to be the case.
You look at them, you wanted to yell for such a stupid action they took. But you hold it in. You hold it in because you didn't want any further trouble. You didn't know when you had to get back, but you were losing time...if there even was that. You weren't even sure if you really had to go back as soonish as you thought.

"Girls...I don't need hiding...just relax ok?..geez..I feel like I was gonna die in there."

"But ya do need hiding Anon! Diamond Tiara might take ya away and make her one of her diabolical minions!" Applebloom said in a panic

Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, hell..even you looked at her with cocked eyebrows.

Applebloom smiled nervously. "Ehmm...too much?"

"See, now you're not being sensible.....but" Sweetie Belle turns to you "She's sort of right too, Anon. She might try to get you to be on her side. We've seen it before."

All three nod

.....relax Anon...relax. They are dumb children. You just had to get across that you aren't an impressionable idiot. Because if this went on, you were gonna flip.
"Girls, relax ok? I'm not gonna go on her side or anything like that. I'm just going to ride this out until it ends. Trust me. It's gonna be fine."

"But Anon, What if she uses her girly wiles on you!?" Applebloom exclaimed

"Erm...Applebloom, what does that even mean?" Scootaloo was ignorant on it.

Applebloom shrugged "Dunno, heard muh sister say something about it a few times about Rarity and some stallions"

Oh boy. This was getting nowhere. You try making your tone a little more stern. Without seeming hostile.
"Girls, I'm not going to suddenly betray you, I'm not going to suddenly hate you, I'm not going to stop being a cutie mark crusader, and I'm certainly not going to be charmed by her girlie wiles, got it?"

Well...not unless it somehow became that wrong to think? eh, you didn't care. Because that probably wasn't gonna happen either.

They cautiously nod, but Applebloom still had to ask "Ya promise? You'll stay a Cutie Mark Crusader?"

You nod
"Yes yes, I will. Now will you three ple-"

Suddenly the three hug onto you. What's all this then?
"Good! there's not many pony's our age who don't got a Cutie Mark. It's really just the three of us and a few others. So havin' another friend we can talk to is great!" Applebloom said as she cuddle hugged.

"Yeah, and since you're a colt! we can try some things we haven't been able to before to get our Cutie Marks!" Scootaloo said in excitement.

Oh god.....that could be interpreted in so many ways.
"L-like what?"

You dirty minded colt you...

"Well, we could be your trainers for a big race, or maybe even ringside fighting. And get trainer cutie marks, and you'd get your fighter or racer..or..something Cutie Mark. We're girls so we can't do some of that stuff, like fighting and sparring I mean” Stated Scootaloo

How disappointing.....and painful sounding
"Yeah..that sounds uhh But girls, I kind of got to get going now. Stuff to do and all that."

"What? But ya just became a Cutie Mark Crusader! We got Crusadin' to do!" Applebloom said as she tried to urge you from leaving.

All three make a huge sad pouty face at you. Seeing this collective assault on your cute sensors was disarming. But you had to go. You would not be so easily swayed....unless orgies...yeah...gotta get mind out of the gutter...

"sorry girls...Look, I'll make it up to you. The next time I get the chance. I'll do whatever ideas you guys have for the whole day. We'll all do it together. How's that sound"

Sweetie Belle seemed confused by that "But Anon..that's what we should be doing anyway. We all do crusading together." had to go
"Ahh, what I meant was. I'd be able to convince my dad to let me come early so we can get a whoooole bunch out of the way."

Scootaloo nodded to that "oooohhh, now that makes sense. Ok, that sounds good to me!"

The other two nodded, they agreed.

thank god. a part of you didn't want to go really however, an odd feeling indeed. It may have been fun to go on a crusade or two. But you surmised it's probably best to get this over with, not piss off anyone, and just wait when you'll finally have the time and privilege to just go about Ponyville on your own. You knew for sure, or hoped anyway, that Discord wouldn't just keep you cooped up or doing what he wanted to do all the time. You concluded the only reason it was like this now is because he's actually really and truly getting you accustomed to Equestria...while having a little fun along the way.
With that, finally, you are able to say goodbye to the three, and head off back to Fluttershy's cottage.
That wasn't so bad. You got super nuzzle cuddles from Pinkie and instantly became friends. a Super big plus. And...the CMC themselves aren't that bad. Just overzealous, you were sure of that as you got used to one another. That things would be ok. You'd probably have to answer some questions about Discord again next visit.'d be fine.

You finally manage to get your goodbyes out with them, as they remind you to come back soon and not let Diamond Tiara convert you.
You know you were made of stronger, sterner stuff than that.
You turn around, and exit the clubhouse....only to immediately slam your face into another door.
You were right outside Filthy Rich's manor.

You rubbed your face to try to calm the pain.but finally, you let out your pint up rage.

"Well Anon, it's not my fault you don't look where you are going. And please don't's rude."

Chapter 23

View Online

Right..don't yell. You didn't even really have a reason to be angry at him anyway. You were just pissed that you nearly died under a blanket and had to deal with an annoying filly.
You just stay silent for a moment and take in the scenery. The front of the manor was well kept with various flowers. Also the sun was still up. So no kind of time shenanigans this time.
", why are we here? I thought we were going to meet back at Fluttershy's"

"Well Anon, you simply took too long. Fluttershy felt tired after the shock at the school so I put her to bed, tucked her in, and got her some delicious and relaxing soup. Then I waited for you. So....what kept you?"

that made you a little nervous. You did indeed take a detour. didn't take THAT long. If anything, the CMC's panic ate up some extra time.
"Well, erm. Applebloom and the others sort of overreacted to the whole Diamond Tiara thing. I had to spend some time calming them down so they wouldn't be upset."

Discord nodded, his eyes focused on something on your person "Yes, I suspected that might happen. But that doesn't explain..." He reaches over and plucks a pink strand of horse hair from your body "This...took a detour, did you?"

The jig was up. But you didn't panic. He shouldn't be getting onto you over such a small matter.
"Ok, I visited Pinkie Pie. And it went really well. You're not going to punish me over that too are you? That'd be overbearingly controlling,wouldn't it? I'm not actually some little kid you know"

Discord just nods again "You're right, you're not. I don't care that you visited Pinkie Pie"


"You aren't?"
Well that was peculiar. You expected something from him. Was he baiting you again?

Discord shook his head "Anon, I don't really care what kind of little mischief you get into. As long as it doesn't make me, Fluttershy, or yourself look bad. You could conquer Equestria for all I care.....actually...Don't do that...I'll do that...maybe...that's a back up idea of course, not as if I actually want to do that" He says as he loses his train of thought.

And that set you off as peculiar. You had some ideas of why Discord brought you to Equestria in the first place. Obviously the relationship was as said, symbiotic. And he has been using you for his own fun. But still, for him to actually care about image. That poked at your curiosity.

You looked him dead in the eye
"Discord, what's up with you?"

Discord seemed confused and offended by that statement "What's up with me? I don't know what you're talking about, you're the one running into doors. That's not what colts usually do. So you can get that out of your head right now mister! To think, I have a headsmasher for a son...the shame..."

you shake your head.
"No Discord. What I mean is. What's up with this whole "Dad,Son" deal. And I mean the WHOLE thing, the REAL reason you're doing all this. It can't be for fun or just for you. You would have been done by now.So come on, tell me"

Discord suddenly became serious in tone, he did not like that line of questioning at all. "Anon, where did you get the idea that you know exactly who I am?"

you arrogantly smirk. You had enough info. You were sure of that
"The show.your plans, While simple, always had some substance to them, even though they know...petty as hell"

"Petty?! Anon please, far be it for me to understand how ponies go about their social lives that I myself can't take drastic measures to understand things such as "Friendship" and.." he starts rolling his arm as he tries to think of another word "things...that ponies do"

"And I'm not actually a dumb kid that's just going to sit idly by and just be a tool. We're in this together. Father and son, the least you can do is give me a damn freebie!"
You stomp your hoof, feeling more determined
"I'm tired of being made to feel like your puppet, Discord. Just tell me what this is really all about. We're essentially partners at this point. It'd help if I knew my motivation!"

Discord took that as a challenge, picked you up. And narrowed his eyes as he tried to stare you down. "Are you telling me what to do?"

You nod
"You bet I am! I'm not going to be afraid of you this time. Whatever you do, I'll know it's a trick."

Discord just rolls his eyes as he just opens a portal behind you and flicks you inside.

You yelp as you fall onto some ground, right on your head, and roll on the ground until you come to a stop.
" didn't......"

Suddenly, you give a small yip as you notice a ton of thrashing tentacles around you. You can hear Discord's voice somewhere, but he was nowhere in sight.
"You should of dropped it Anon, but now it seems I'll have to teach you a lesson."

The tentacles started to slowly reach towards your hooves as you stepped back to avoid them. But, they were all around you. There was no escape. You had to hold your ground. You had to hope you were right.
"You aren't g-going to do anything Discord. This is too dark, even for you, it's right out of a bad fanfic!"

Suddenly, four tentacles whip at you and grab your hooves, spreading you for "the incoming"

"Well, I have taken a gander at your world, Anon. Whose to say I haven't picked up some new tricks from reading said "bad fanfics" "

You suddenly felt one of the tendrils rubbing up and down your back. But...that's all it was doing. Still, it felt like ice.

shit, SHIT. When the hell did he get into this kind of stuff anyway?...wait right..plunder seeds...STILL. There wasn't any kinks. He had to be bluffing. No way your psyche could handle this kind of trauma and not go noticed. Fluttershy would definitely notice and find out. Come on Anon. Use logic. Everyone would find out. He can't..he won't. Don't get scared! of all the times he's ever done this. It never ended badly.
"You aren't going to do anything! I know you won't!"

"Yes I will" He said in a chide voice

"You won't!"

"I will!" He started to sound annoyed now

"You won't!"

"I will!"

"No you won't"

"Yes...I...will" He was breathing harder, aggravated. you could hear it.


Suddenly, in a burst of flame, he appeared before you, gargantuan in size as he pointed at you with godly fury "YES...IIIIII..WILLLLLLLL, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!"

....shit...what do you do? that tentacle on your back could make a move at any moment. But you already got this fact, you got far enough that he didn't seem to actually make any truly intrusive his standards anyway. You considered yourself crazy for this. But if you went down, he'd go down with you after you tell someone. But that was worst case scenario.
You tried to think of more scenarios calmy coming from any brash action. doubt Fluttershy or Pinkie Pie...or just some pone nurse..would tend to your penetrated ass...that could be nice...if you didn't die.
You play your hand.

You give him a stern look, the only part to break is your sweat.
"You won't"

Discord immediately started roaring and growling angrily as everything burst into flame "GGGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....ok you win"
Suddenly, the tentacles disappear as you plop onto your back. Suddenly, fear and panic of what just happened hits your brain, as well as relief as you get up and pant excessively.

Discord sighed as the area suddenly became an open plain as he began to speak of the truth of the matter.
"Anon, the truth is this: for awhile now, a lot of ponies view me as a monster, simply due to a little thing as "high treason". And although I do my best to make things right. Some ponies still...Anon..are you listening?"

You were still recovering from the realization you really could have been tentacle raped.

"Anon, when I'm explaining a tragedy that has befallen me. I expect you to listen" Discord said as he snapped his talons, warping you from your spot to right in front of him. hovering in mid air.

"G-give me a second, geez."

Discord just lifts his paw and gives you a gentle yet firm slap in the face and then smirks at you "better?"

You felt more knocked to your senses alright. But it still hurt, you rub your face where he hit you
"yes..geez, you didn't have to hit me. That's child abuse"

Discord rolled his eyes "What happened to "not being a child" and "Being mature" "

You then roll your eyes to him
"Whatever, just get on with it. You're lucky I can put up with you. a real colt probably would have died by now"

Discord chuckled at that "Now THAT'S rather dark"

it was, but you didn't want to think about it. You just wanted him to tell his story.
"Yeah well, It's true. Anyway, can you just get on with it?"

Discord laughs "My my, so demanding. Simply because the little colt thinks he trumped big bad Discord. That's cute. But fine, let me fulfill your request. To continue, some ponies still see me as a monster. Now I know what you're thinking. "Why would Discord care what other ponies think, he's the greatest being ever, he doesn't need to care about such things"...and you'd be right to think that. But alas, poor Fluttershy. When we are walking, or talking, or having a picnic; We will often hear harsh words from passerbys and she will get upset. Or even act in my defense. And then, they will scrutinize her. But the odd thing is that she won't let me act on her behalf and get sweet unbridled revenge. She says she knows that I'm good inside, and to not worry about what others say. But I can't Anon, for some reason these "feelings"...I don't what ponies call them but they just bubble up inside me. So I came up with the brilliant plan to have Twilight Sparkle teach me all about Equestrian law to better act like an upstanding citizen" that was it. It was for Fluttershy. And it's true. You knew Celestia forgave him. even invited him to the Gala and such. But something like getting trashed by a manic spirit and a centaur is not something easily forgotten. Especially by global basis. You felt bad for him, he actually had a good and non selfish reason.
"Discord...that's actually really sweet. I never would have guessed that"

"Of course not, I'm Discord, you're not supposed to figure out my plans. But now you know. Are you happy?"

You nod, and smile at him
"Yeah, that's pretty cool of you actually...but wait...what happened to the whole upstanding citizen bit. When we got here we just messed with Twilight."

"Puhhhhlleeeaaasseee Anon, I sat through seven straight hours of that without Twilight relenting for an instant. It's pure insanity! If I had to do all of that just to be an upstanding citizen, I'd go mad! So...I took the adoption option. As you've seen it's gained me some respect already. Soon, everypony will see me as just as capable of good as any other."

You smirk
"Princess Celestia certainly thought so"

Discord was unamused by those words "..yes..yes she did.."

You giggle, that was a pretty sweet visit. You then hold out your hoof to him.

Discord looked at it, confused "Hrn? What are you doing Anon?"

"just offering you a hoofshake, I really want to help you Discord. I think I can put up with your crap since it's for a good cause. Besides, you can't do this without my cooperation anyway."

Discord smiled , it seemed genuine, he seemed pretty happy that you just complied without questioning it further. He grabs your hoof and shakes it. "Anon, you are better than what you seem. I'm really beginning to like you,"

you smirk at him as you shake
"The same, Dad"

With that, Discord teleports you and himself back at the door. And looks down at you and fixes your mane a bit before facing the door "Are you ready Anon? Do you think you can handle this punishment?"

You nod
"No big deal, how long is it gonna last anyway?"

"About a week, maybe less. We'll see how it goes. I trust you, And i'll help you with whatever you need"

That's actually reassuring
"Thanks, just stick by me for now. I don't wanna screw up, this guy seems to respect you and all."

Discord knocks on the door "Of course Anon, I'll be right by your side."

After a bit. Filthy Rich himself..again. Opens the door, and looks down at you "Ahh, Mr.Anon. I've been expecting you and...hrn? Say now, where's your father?"

"Oh he's right..."

You look to your right...Discord is gone

Chapter 24

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As before, Filthy Rich led you into his study. He was speaking. But you weren't paying too much attention. It was just this or that about that he wished Discord had arrived as well so he could talk about an interesting business venture.
No, you were tempering yourself. You had a feeling about what you were about to jump into. And had to steel your mind and body for what's to come.
You couldn't have an angry outburst like before. You were an adult in mind. You had to remember that. She was just a child and a brat to boot. Nothing to get angry about, and you knew you could shrug off her insults. You had no reason to react like you did before, none whatsoever. And on the plus side, being the cool and collected guy you are. You also knew you could pull off a few devious moves of your own if needed. She wasn't the only one who could charm couldn't really do that before...but now you were cute.

"Mr.Anon?" Filthy Rich was looking at you, a little concerned. "Did you hear me?"

"What? Huh?"

You snap out of your thoughts as you realize you were standing in front of four seats with a small table between them. A large porcelain container with a spout sat on the middle of the table while four cups sat at the edges. Only three were filled with what seemed like Hot cocoa. Both Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara were looking at you like you had just done something peculiar.

"Do you not want to sit Mr.Anon? I could have the chair removed if you like" Filthy Rich said as he took a sip of his cocoa

Fuck. You got too lost in your planning that you didn't even hear him. You quickly bow and take a seat.
"S-sorry Mr.Rich, just..umm..a little nervous"

Filthy Rich nods "Understandable Mr.Anon, It's not everyday somepony such as yourself gets to come into my home twice" he gives a hearty laugh

You just blink

Filthy Rich's joyous smile becomes stoic when he realizes you didn't get whatever joke that was supposed to be. " Well, nevermind. Here, have some cocoa, Anon. We got some discussin to do. Just a shame your father couldn't join us. It's awkward to be explaining how this is going to work without the other parent present. But we did get it worked out. But first, why don't you both greet each other. Since you both will be spending time together. It's important for two parties to always greet each other in kind, it opens worlds of opportunity."

That sounded like business speak. You look silently at Diamond Tiara, While she looks at you with a stoic smile. Trying to at least seem pleasant. Lucky for you, You knew not to be petty at a time like this.

You give a happy,cheery, smile to her
"H-hello Diamond Tiara!...sorry for being so nervous. This is just really overwhelming"

Filthy Rich finds your little hello adorable, and smiles "Now that's initiative, you didn't even hesitate, I wouldn't have been able to tell any kind of altercation happened between you two."

However, Diamond Tiara had yet to reply

"Say hello back darlin', don't be rude now" Filthy gives her a nudge

Diamond Tiara stared into your eyes and gave you a quick snooty look, She could tell, unlike her father, that you were faking it.And she was annoyed you took the initiative before she could.
"Hello Anon, it's a nice day we're having, isn't it?" Diamond Tiara said as she sipped her cocoa, eyes locked to you, filled with disgust

You just keep your smile, and carefully grab your cup with your ever growing skills of...grabbing.
"Oh yeah! It is! Everyday I get to spend in Ponyville is a new day of fun and making new friends, I hope we can be friends Diamond Tiara, I'm awfully sorry about before. But the situation was kind of nasty....I dunno what came over me."

Diamond Tiara, while remaining audibly collected. It was obvious that she was visually annoyed with you with the way she crossed her eyebrows, her face hidden purposely behind her cup. Her “upbeat” attitude sounding rather coarse"That' I'm very hear that, and don't worry..I guess we both were having...a bad day.."

"Haha! Now that's what I like to see. My little darlin' having a nice cup of cocoa with a new friend. I can already tell you both are going to get along so well. Especially since you are being a gentlecolt about this Mr.Anon" Filthy Rich cheered

Diamond Tiara was gripping her cup tighter, it was shaking in her hooves.

"Well Mr.Rich, I don't wanna be any trouble..." You say as you take a sip of cocoa
You then think about Discord's "truth". You did believe it, you knew he wouldn't change too much in his attitude. But that had to be true. It would be too terrible if it wasn't .
"...My father, he got me out of a really bad place. I'm very grateful to him. And so, I always try to be the best and goodest son I can be. But sometimes, I just have some flashbacks."

"I can only imagine. Growing up in an orphanage in Fillydelphia. But I can already see great progress in you Mr.Anon, considering your father's past actions, it's remarkable, almost ridiculous to believe really, to see he could help you in that regard. It's truly inspiring and to be respected." Filthy said, with admiration in his tone

You take a sip of your tasted pretty damn good, top of the line.
"T-thank you Mr.Rich, that means a lot. And I'm sure it means a lot to my dad too if he had heard it. I mean, you are Filthy Rich after all. You are already a very respectable pony among regular folk like me"

You took a quick glance at Diamond Tiara, her eye was twitching. She was definitely getting angry that you were making such headway with her father. And it was obvious she couldn't think of anything to say.

Filthy Rich chuckled, he felt humbled "Now now Mr.Anon. One can swear you were tryin' to butter me up. Even if what you say is true."

You both laugh in unison, until Filthy Rich notices his daughter's silence.
"Something the matter sweetheart? you've been quiet."

Diamond Tiara turned to her father and smiled at him, a mirthfully fake one only obvious to you "Oh it's nothing, I didn't want to interrupt. That would be rude. Wouldn't it?"

Filthy Rich shook his head in disagreement, he felt in this particular instance that it would have been alright "No, but I also didn't mean to make you feel left out. No, I think it's time we get down to business then. Now, I'm not a harsh pony. I just want you both to learn from each other and hopefully become good friends. But I cannot tolerate the kind of behavior you both exhibited, especially you young lady, that is no way to act"

"..." Diamond Tiara hung her head in shame, frowning "Yes Daddy"

Filthy Rich gave his daughter a gentle pat "Now now, I'm not mad at you darlin'. I just want you to improve."

Diamond Tiara gave her father big sad eyes "But aren't I good as I am now? Am I a bad pony?"

Filthy Rich gulped, he didn't mean to imply that, but you knew she was playing him now. It was now time to observe and learn first hand.
"N-no pumpkin, it's not like that. You're one of the best ponies there is. But even the best make a mistake once in awhile."

Diamond Tiara looked downward, and circled her hoof around her cup "O-oh, I see.....I really am sorry Daddy. I just don't know what came over me...."

You just glance at her, a stoic look on your own face as you take a sip of your hot cocoa. You'd let her have this. Because she wasn't going to have you. That's for sure.

Filthy Rich reached over to give her a hug "Now now, don't cry. I'm just doing what I have to as a father, sweetheart. It doesn't make you a bad pony, it's just a part of learnin'."

"So, does that mean I'm still the best pony?" Diamond Tiara asked

"Of course you are" Filthy Rich squeezed her tight.

You roll your eyes. If that was a demoralizing tactic to make you feel less of a man...pony...colt.It didn't work. That's what all parents say because their children are all special snowflakes.
after that little display was over. Filthy Rich looked to the both of you. and finally started to discuss the terms of how this is going to work.

Chapter 25

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Filthy Rich began to speak in a sterner tone as he talked about the terms of the arrangement "Diamond Tiara, Anon. Now I want you both to know that I nor Mr.Discord believe this punishment should be too harsh or demanding. It's purpose is so the both of you can learn from your mistakes and understand each other and become better ponies. That is why..." Filthy Rich takes out a good sized pouch and places it on the table, the cling clangs from inside suggest it's filled with bits. "I'll also be handing you both this generously filled bag of bits.....with a condition of course. You both cannot use a single bit from this bag unless you both have agreed on what you wish to spend it on. Am I clear?"

both you and Diamond Tiara nodded, it sounded simple enough as long as she was willing to play ball. If not, no skin off your nose, aside from food. You couldn't imagine what you'd need to spend bits on other than snacks. You did start to feel a little bad though. It was obvious Filthy Rich was intent on this more than Discord was. Discord obviously just wanted this mess settled without any actual repercussion while Filthy Rich wanted you and Diamond Tiara to become friends...or something close to that. He obviously didn't like hearing what you and Diamond Tiara did. And you were sure he had never heard of a colt nor his daughter getting into that kind of a nasty spat. Still, even if things were to work out. It'd mostly depend on Diamond Tiara, and you weren't going to hold your breath on that.

Filthy Rich turns to you "Oh and Mr.Anon. You being the colt in this little duo. I expect a little more responsibility from you regarding my daughter. Nothing complicated, I can already trust you'll never fulfill those threats you made when you were out of mind. So the only thing I ask is that you escort my little darling back home before the sun sets over the horizon. You can do that, can't you son?"

again, sounded easy enough. You nod with confidence.
"Can do Mr.Rich, I wouldn't want to worry anypony"

Filthy Rich nods, satisfied with your answer "Good good. Now you two run along. And don't separate from each other for any reason, you hear?"

You both get up, and then turn to nod to him.

"You don't have to worry Daddy, I only want to make you proud." Diamond Tiara says with an upbeat cheerful grin

You say nothing. It seems the punishment was just being stuck with one another. The bits was obviously incentive in case you and Diamond wanted to do something or eat together. This was almost sounding like some sort of forced date.

You and Diamond bid a farewell to Filthy Rich and step outside the manor. Taking the bag of bits with you in your saddle bag for safe keeping.

out of his sight and range of hearing. Diamond Tiara's smile immediately turns into a scowl.
"I hope you don't think I was fooled by your silly little display"

That was quick.

You look towards Diamond Tiara with an arrogant smirk on your face. the last thing you concluded on is she'd probably fake all of this to get out of the punishment. You certainly were willing too as well if it meant getting out of this.
"Wasn't expecting you to be. And isn't that calling the kettle black? We were both playing him. Which is pretty're supposed to be his "Little Darling Princess" "

Diamond Tiara growled at you, she didn't like that remark "What was that?! You think you can tell me how to act?"

You shook your head
"Not what I said, only making an observation that you're not above being a little sneak.Also, you may want to watch that temper of yours. We are still right outside the door."

Diamond Tiara held her tongue hearing that. She didn't want her father to suddenly catch her any yelling she might do. She couldn't believe how easily she was losing her cool to some cutie markless colt. She takes a moment to cool down, then points forward. "Walk, we'll talk about this after we get past the front gate."

You hold your smirk, and nod. This was going to be fun. Not your fault she's a little weasel. Still, if this whole thing could be salvaged. You would make sure it works, if only because her father seemed like a pretty cool dude.

You both walk out, through the front gate and out of definite earshot. Diamond Tiara, calmer, had assessed her situation in her own way during the short walk.

You also took something of note. She wasn't afraid of you anymore. You had a curiousness as to why. But you wouldn't ask. Not unless she brought up something you could lead the question into.

Diamond Tiara started eyeing your body, taking a longer time to look at your flank "I don't understand..."

you tilt your head, what didn't she understand?

Diamond Tiara pointed at your blank flank "I don't understand how a colt like you doesn't have their cutie mark. It's obvious that you aren't as idiotic as the colts here in Ponyville. You're definitely smart enough to have discovered your special talent by now."

hrn, this could be interesting. you decide to gauge her in conversation.
"I don't think being smart has anything to do with finding your cutie mark."

"Oh it definitely helps Anon.That's why Applebloom and her little brigade don't have theirs. Every attempt they make always have them making them look like total idiots. Why do you think I wanted you at my side? I was just trying to protect you from them. Despite being an orphan, you have the look and smarts of somepony of my stature.....close to it anyway"

You keep your cool. But you also can't help but be intrigued by her words. "Protect"?
"Protect me? I don't think I need any protection if all you are capable of doing is bullying Applebloom and her friends...which by the way..are my friends too. I'm already a Cutie Mark Crusader"

she stays silent for a moment, she didn't seem shocked. But you wondered what her reply would be.

She raised an eyebrow, looking at you inquisitively "I seem to remember you not really caring about Cutie Marks."

"I don't, but I like Applebloom and her friends more than I like you. You're just terrible, you know that?"

Diamond Tiara's eye twitched at those words, but she held fast to her composure."Those are big words coming from a colt who threatened to hit a girl"

You roll your eyes at her
"Because threatening a jerk is something to be ashamed of right? At least I had good intentions"

Diamond Tiara huffed, then continued her march forward into town, you following. The trail she was taking seemed pretty aimless so far. "I don't get you. There's nothing wrong with what I do. Maybe if they got their act together they would have their Cutie Marks already. It's not my fault that I'm better than them"

You stop, you stop dead in your tracks as you feel your temper slipping. Not enough to do anything rash. But you had to remark on those words.
"Excuse me? Do you even listen to yourself when you talk? Do you not notice how malicious that sounds?"
You almost couldn't believe this. How could anyone not notice?

"Malicious? Me?" Diamond Tiara stopped and turned to face you, she looked insulted "I'm not malicious, I'd like to think of it as another form of encouragement. Maybe if they realize how stupid they are, they might stop to think of what they are doing instead of doing everything under the sun. They even get in the way of me sometimes, Anon. And even when they succeed, they STILL don't get their Cutie Marks. Clearly they are nearly beyond hope if Snips and Snails can get their Cutie Marks and they can't; they might already be beyond help actually"

some of that you couldn't argue. Even if she put it in harsh wording. You knew how single minded they were. They clearly had talents but never actually stopped to practice them. instead always moving on to the next thing. Still, you had an inkling she was trying something.
"I'll admit, they are a little disorganized. But that doesn't mean you should go and hassle them. No matter the reason."

Diamond Tiara gave a smug chuckle to your words "Do you listen to YOURSELF when you talk, Anon? You haven't been around them like I have. They are trouble. They even have a tendency to almost ruin other ponies lives, it's only a matter of time before they actually do."

Ok...that's also true. And you wish you could say it. But you knew they also helped lives, like Troubleshoes.

You answer with the only words you think you can get away with without arousing suspicion.
"I think you're exaggerating, they are just three fillies just looking for their place in the world."

boy, you were starting to feel pretty dumb. You were having a conversation with this bitch. Instead of just pummeling her with your superior human mind. were just too intrigued. This was probably one of the few chances you'd get to actually understand what she actually thinks.

"And where's your place, Anon? I don't think you really mean what you say about Cutie Marks. I just don't think you've been given the chance. We're supposed to be learning from each other and being friends right? Why don't we actually do that then? You'd change your mind about Cutie Marks real quick. You're better than the others. I've never met a colt as smart as you"
Her gaze was becoming softer, warmer, gentler.

But you just raised your eyebrow, skeptical of where this was headed
"Let me guess...I just have to drop Applebloom and the others right?"

Diamond Tiara hesitated, she said nothing at first. It looked as if she was thinking of something to say before actually replying. "....not really..I don't want to tear you away from your first friendship out of whatever orphanage you came from. I'm just asking you to be my friend. That way we can share our perspectives like we are supposed to. I'm sure daddy would like that. And considering your dad...somehow...agreed to this whole thing too, then you'd definitely win points with him as well. Who knows, you might actually come to understand what I'm talking about. And if you think about it, it makes sense. With me as your friend, you'd be able to enjoy so many luxuries you normally would never have."

Enticing...If you were a dumb as shit kid. She was up to something.
"I'd rather,if possible, we all be friends. And that's really stretching it since to be quite honest. I don't really like you."

You felt you could get away with that. You both had to make it seem you were ok with each other for this whole thing to end.

Diamond Tiara shook her head, but she didn't falter from her resolve. "Anon, maybe if they had their Cutie Marks, I'd think about it. But they'd only bring us down if we were ALL friends with each other. Let's keep it simple."

"Let's not. Look, I'm not interested if it's going to hurt Applebloom and the others. So unless you actually want to give this a shot.I say we go right to pretending and just waste the day and get it over with. How does that sound?"

She didn't agree with that, and stepped even closer to you. Her eyes half closed, dreamy, seductive. What was she up to?
"Come on Anon...I can help you. I can do things other ponies can't. Who knows..." She slides her hoof gently under your chin "I might find you more interesting if you just say yes..." felt nice being touched by her. She was cute enough. But still, you would not be swayed. Your dick was not in command here. You back away. You saw what she was doing. She just wanted you to betray the CMC. Another way to get them to suffer.

"Nope... Sorry Diamond Tiara, but I'd rather be a Cutie Mark Crusader. So you can stop. Either take MY offer and get over yourself. Or just be the slime you are used to being. It doesn't matter to me, nor does it bother me."
Diamond Tiara started stomping her hooves in frustration and anger "why.why,why,why,why,WHY?! I've even had those Dumbymark Pinheads eating out of my hooves once! What's wrong with you...Nopony denies me...NOPONY!"

She gets some spit on your little tuft of fur on your chest. You just look down calmly, blink, and wipe it off


You stand there, unmoved by her anger
"You done? Because that wouldn't work.."


suddenly, you pouted, and started to whine and cry
"I'm s-sorry Mr.Rich. I-I tried my best. B-but she wouldn't stop insulting m-my friends. S-she wouldn't stop hating them just because they didn't have Cutie Marks. S-she thinks they are lower than dirt...even Applebloom and Sweetie Belle...sisters to Princess Twilight's best and most trusted friends, I didn't mean to say those things Mr.Rich, but she said such horrid things...such..horrid..things.."

You then gave Diamond Tiara a cocky smile
"Two can play at that game. And I'm sure your "Daddy" wouldn't like to hear how you rag on them. He probably does have some business with Twilight Sparkle...wouldn't want to ruin that, would we?" felt positively conniving and sneaky, It felt nice.

Finally, Diamond Tiara began to falter. She didn't want that to happen. "Y-you're bluffing, daddy wouldn't believe you over me"

You chuckle
"He already thinks I'm quite the gentlecolt. And you already goofed up since thats exactly how you and I ended up in this situation. There's no where left to go Diamond Tiara. I've won. You lost...Now how about we get some lunch and make things look pleasant for the crowd, huh?"

She didn't calm down however. Suddenly there were tears in her eyes, She was beginning to cry "How? can you do that? You can't...I'm supposed to be the best. How can you just sweep me under the rug like some common bug?"

oh come on, did she think you'd feel bad over this? You didn't even feel bad about most tragedies that happened on earth,
"Don't do this, it won't work on me"

But she just continued to bawl and cry. And as she did, other ponies started to notice. Some even coming to investigate the situation.

At first you didn't care who saw. But then you quickly realized she was on the ground crying. And you seemed perfectly alright...and seemingly even cruel.
Shit.....You just realized what she was doing.

"What are you doing? stop already"

But she wouldn't, she only started to wail louder. the few that went to investigate started to get closer.

You quickly sorted through your options. But you had nothing. You'd seem the villain once they caught wind of it.
"F-fine! Y-you win...S-stop crying already"

She lifted her head slightly to look at you "Will you do what I say? or do you want to deal with them? Daddy would eventually find out"

Fuck.....FUCK. Dammit. You wouldn't even care if it wasn't for Discord's "Truth". You'd find some way out of it on your own.
"...fine..But that doesn't mean we're friends..."

"That's fine...We can work on that later...."

That little sneak, in her moment of actual sadness she must have come up with a plan to garner attention. She was able to use her temporary defeat to bring up a waterfall of tears. You almost had her. But she was a girl, you were a guy. And she was on the ground crying. You couldn't risk it.

As the onlookers gathered. Diamond Tiara raised from the ground and gave you a hug "Thank you Anon, Your pep talk really made me feel better! You're such a great friend!"

You silently grumbled, then put on a distorted smile as you hugged her back. Internally screaming at yourself.
"N-no problem..."

The onlookers were perplexed, they thought you did something to make Diamond Tiara cry. Which you did, but thanks to that display. They felt they made a mistake. A few found you two cute. One even remarking that you could be an adorable young couple. After a little while longer. They dispersed to continue on with their day. needed to recover and think of a new plan.

Chapter 26

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Diamond Tiara, satisfied with being on top once more. looked onto the horizon, she could feel her sweet tooth aching. "You know Anon...I know what we should spend our bits on first. Let's go get me an ice cream"

You were still reeling from her power play. You were also getting hungry. That sandwich back at Fluttershy's wasn't a whole lot. Surely Diamond Tiara would at least agree to actual food.
"Actually, we could go to the diner. I think they sell shakes there. And I kind of want some solid food. Kinda hungry"

Diamond Tiara looked at you and scoffed "Anon, I think I said I want some ice cream. I've already eaten. Or do you want me to cry again. Because if I cry this time...I'm not stopping."


fantastic...she now had a WMD-tier method of obliterating everything. You couldn't even argue with her....maybe a compromise?

You reach into your saddlebag and pull out your magical map, taking a quick study. You notice a few fun places. an Arcade, Roller rink, Bowling alley.
"What are you doing? You don't need to look at that map. All you have to do is follow me"

you take a special notice at the bowling alley, surely they'd sell some food.
"Maybe we can go here instead? Waste some time bowling, and I bet they sell ice cream here. So we both win, we wouldn't even have to deal with each other. You can have your ice cream and we can play on different lanes."

Diamond Tiara shook her head.
"They don't have the ice cream I like Anon, now for the last time. Either we go and get me some ice cream...or I'm going to cry."



Looking at your map, you both head off to the ice cream shop. Your internal rage piqued. But there was nothing you could do. Your plan backfired. And this now truly became a punishment. And there was no one you could turn to. The CMC would be useless, you don't really know anyone else, and unless Discord takes things more seriously, then he probably wouldn't care about your suffering.

Diamond Tiara glances at you as you both keep a steady walking pace. "What's wrong Anon? Do you know how many colts would give their right hoof to be around me? You'd just realize how good you'd have it if you just listened to what I said, you'd probably realize how silly you're being right now."

You grumbled. You didn't reply to her. You were focusing on a way to make a reversal on the situation.

"Besides, you heard that pony. We make a cute couple..." Suddenly, she rubs up against your side "don't we?"

Every person on the board you used to visit would call you a colossal faggot for not giving in. But you could call them fucking pussies for just giving in to this steaming pile of horseshit you found yourself in now.

You move away from her, and snort
"That really isn't going to work. I'm not some stupid kid who can't get a girlfriend, I'm not desperate"

No, you were a stupid man who couldn't get a girlfriend...but that's splitting hairs.

Diamond Tiara moves back into you "That's too bad, normally I wouldn't give you a second thought. But you really are...well..better looking than most of the boys in my class. The only imperfection I can see being on your flank. But that can be fixed"

You moved away again, you could feel your body warming up to her advances. You just couldn't though...
"Do you mind not doing that?"

Diamond Tiara moves into you again "Why? Does it bother you?"

"Yes. Please stop"

"Why? You can't do anything about it. So why avoid it?"

"It's...inappropriate, this isn't a date.." felt mixed feelings about this. As much as a superior as you believed yourself to be. You were actually being a pussy about a girl FINALLY rubbing up on you. She wasn't being overly sexual about it...but was enough.

"Of course it isn't...but it could be later. Everything I said before was because I got a little angry. Just like you did, were not so different" Diamond probably had no idea what you meant by inappropriate, but that line was tempting to say the least. Still, you couldn’t give in

At last, you can see the ice cream shop ahead. perhaps that'll break her train of thought.
"We're here...why don't you.."
You reach into your saddle bag for the bag of bits and hold it towards her.
"...go get the ice cream you want."

She just stared at it, then looked to you with a smug smile "Aren't you supposed to be the gentlecolt and handle the order for me?"

You huffed
"No. We are actually supposed to be learning our lessons and working together."

Diamond Tiara placed her head under yours and gently rubbed "And yet here we are. I don't really mind this punishment at all. It could go on forever for all I care. All it means for me is that I get to have my own personal little butler."

You growled, you were finally losing some of your fortitude. Both at the situation and the absurdity that you had to be a child. You tried to reason with yourself that you had no reason to give a shit about Discord's truth or Fluttershy or just him in general. You didn't actually know Fluttershy enough at all to care about her feelings. Yet thinking about her crying, with the added scenario of Discord being angry at you. Kept you from making a rash decision. The only thing you could ride this punishment to the end. Because after it was over, she'd have no power over you. Sad you didn't have the mettle to just kill her. But you didn't have that much of a sharpened edge. And guilt is a bitch.
"But it won't go on forever. And once it's over. This little truce is over."

Diamond Tiara could sense you breathing deeper as she nuzzled you, but your words were cold as ice. she stopped her advances and looked at you dismissively "whatever, even if that's the case. I can still tell those Crusaders how you react when I rub against you"

You raise an eyebrow, what did she mean by that?

Diamond Tiara giggled an arrogant giggle "Don't play coy, Anon, every time I do this.." She rubs her hoof gently up your chest and off your chin "You blush. It's funny enough that I think it should be shared with other your friends."

did you really blush from her touching? Were you THAT lonely? Just thinking about it sent a cold shiver of fear down your spine. How could you let yourself get manipulated by a child?

Diamond Tiara studied your expression closely, she could tell you had realized she was telling the truth "Let me tell you something Anon, in the end, I will have my way. Sometimes things don't work out. But theres always next time. And you're so easy. To think I was actually afraid of you. But all you turned out to be was a puppy. I can already tell, you now realize you can't get away with getting all angry here like you probably did at your orphanage. And I can make your friends totally hate you.It's easy enough, so easy that I'd really recommend you reconsider things. Remember Anon, I always get what I want"

You couldn't let her get to you. She couldn't prove anything anyway. If she tried in front of Applebloom and the others. Then you'd just edge yourself to saying something to really insult her, really try to demoralize her. Tell her off.
"Big words, but again. I'm not stupid. Even if I was blushing, I've already told Applebloom and the others about this whole thing. And you could lie through your teeth all you want, but when I tell them my side of the story, they'll believe me. So far, you have nothing. Nothing but me being your "Butler". And I'm sure I can fix that before this whole thing is over too. So quit it, tell me what ice cream you want, and then go leave me alone."

Diamond Tiara nodded "How flavor?"

Photogr? what?
"Is that a special or something?"

her smirk became almost evil as she nodded to you "You can say something like that" Then she suddenly called out "SILVER SPOON! GET OVER HERE!"

from behind some boxes, Silver Spoon popped out and daintily walked over to Diamond Tiara, there was a camera hung around her neck.

"Did you get it all?" Diamond Tiara looked to her friend

Silver Spoon nodded "I snapped all the best bits, every time his face turn red, I took a shot"

The hell...was all this? No...No...there was no way she could plan something like this far ahead of time.

"....what is this?"

Diamond Tiara turned to you, and then pointed to her friend "Pictures Anon, Pictures of you enjoying my attention. You had your words, but a picture is worth a thousand more of whatever you have to say"

"How did you even know to plan all this?!"

"Easy, for one...I wasn't turned into a grape. You were put under the same punishment I was. In fact, when I first heard that we had to stick together...that's when I thought about our first meeting"

" mean how I scared you? what does that have to do with anything?"

"Ohh no no Anon, I mean when me and Silver Spoon was giving you our attention. You didn't seem to hate it all that blushed then too....even if you didn't notice...the rest even a foal can figure out." She snickered "Really Anon? Did you totally expect me not to have a back up plan?"!

You give Silver Spoon a terrible scowl and hold your hoof out
"Give me the camera"

The moment Silver Spoon's eyes look unto your vicious gaze, she suddenly feels a tinge of fear, and steps back.

Diamond Tiara looks at her, disgusted with her action "Silver Spoon, will you stop? He can't do anything. Don't be scared."

Silver Spoon takes a position behind Diamond Tiara, she was still scared of you it seems "But..but..he doesn't look too happy about this. What if Discord does something to us?"

Diamond Tiara shook her head "He won't, he didn't even care enough to show up today. He probably doesn't really care about him either, there's nothing he can do"

You stepped forward threateningly, growling louder
"Give me the camera, or else!"

Silver Spoon didn't like this, she began to cower "D-diamond..."

Diamond Tiara held her ground "I said don't" She takes a step towards you, and gets in your way "..Come on Anon, do something"

You look at her, and grit you punch...thats all it'd take. Thats all it would take to wipe that smug off her face.....but you couldn't do it. You knew you shouldn't care about characters you just met too much. But you've sat through the show for so many years, it felt as if you already knew them.

You stop your were defeated

Diamond Tiara looked to her friend, and chided her "See? I told you to stop acting like a chicken, he can't do anything..." She then turns to you "But don't worry Anon, nopony has to see these pictures. All you have to do is be nicer to me...and do what I say"

You had several choices. but everything stripped away because you didn't want to cause any trouble. You didn't even realize she was capable of such a low handed scheme.

You only had one viable option to fix this and get rid of the photos......and thats only if he cared enough to do it. Otherwise, you'd have to admit total defeat to a pony you were sure you could dominate.

You can't think of anything to say.

Diamond Tiara looks to her friend one last time "Silver Spoon, if you'd please get those photos developed. That'd be great. And don't screw up a single one"

Silver Spoon nodded, and went off with the camera.

It was just you and Diamond Tiara again. And you were at a disadvantage.

Chapter 27

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What a disaster. You felt like one of those stupid adult villains from an idiotic kids movie where a kid outsmarts them easily. The problem was you were outsmarted by what is essentially a villain. And the only last card you had to play was a near literal "wild card". And that was assuming you could actually play it.

"Now then, let's see. Today I'd like a vanilla,chocolate,strawberry,raspberry, sherbet topped ice cream with sprinkles on them. Lots of sprinkles..."
Diamond Tiara led you inside as she continued her order "With a large sugar cone with delicious cream in the middle. I also want a cherry on top of the ice cream"

you groan
"Anything else princess? Or should we just see if we have enough to buy the shop while we're at it"

Diamond Tiara giggled at the thought "Oh I tried to have daddy buy it for me once. But he said some dumb stuff about how it'd be bad for business and something about consumer view. I don't know what he talks about sometimes, it's just an ice cream shop after all. Now...chop chop, I'm getting impatient"

You roll your eyes as you speak to the cashier about Diamond Tiara's ice cream. You somehow managed to remember the order. But when it came down to pay. It turned out to be more expensive than you realized as it takes nearly all the bits from the bag to pay for it.
You look back at Diamond Tiara
"You don't suppose I can at least get something from here to try to fill me up, do you?"

Diamond Tiara huffed "Fine..."

You show the cashier pony the rest of the money in the bag and ask what you could get with this. She offers you at best a normal medium cone, single scoop chocolate or vanilla ice cream. You take the chocolate, at least it was something.
You had a feeling the money you had wasn't meant for extravagant orders and was meant to keep things simple. If that was the case, much for that.

You both take your ice creams and find a table to sit at. Diamond Tiara immediately starts licking and enjoying her ice cream while you take slow licks at yours. You were too bothered by the situation to actually enjoy it.

She was too ready. The plan too perfect. all brought about by her selfishness. And yet she didn't care who she hurt. She was just happily enjoying her ice cream. Meanwhile you can tell her little friend was just a stooge.
As much as you'd like to threaten Silver Spoon. You know word would eventually get out if you did. Even if she were to comply to get rid of the pictures, Somepony could still find out that you threatened her to do it. This world always seemed to have a convenient eavesdropper from time to time.

"See? Wasn't this worth it Anon? You get to enjoy a delicious ice cream and get to be seen with me. You're almost a rag to riches story.......almost" Diamond giggled

You slump on the table and put your head on down on it.
"Why me...?"

"Think of it as a lesson for getting in my way. And think of it as a blessing that you get to be in my company. Every other loser doesn't get any privileges like this."

You say nothing. She was still going on and on about just how great it was to be with her. At this point she was just drilling it into your head. Now you just wanted to go home. You didn’t even feel like eating your ice cream anymore, despite your hunger.

Diamond Tiara looked at you, she seemed confused that you'd just lay there and not even finish your ice cream "I thought you were hungry?"

"Not anymore"

"What a waste. Why did you get an ice cream if you weren't going to eat it."

"Too depressed to eat."

"Depressed? How can you be? I could have said no on the ice cream and let you sit there. I was being nice to you, and you go and waste my good will" She says with great annoyance to your actions

You don't look at her, you don't really reply to her, you just say..
"Can I just take you home after this. I just want to go home, you have single handily ruined my entire experience"

"Home? But theres still some things we can do"

"How? Were already out of money"

"There are other ways we can enjoy ourselves. Let me ask you something, since your father is Discord...and for whatever reason...he has contact with Princess Twilight. Would that also mean you know her? Or has he not let you meet her?"

for..fucks sake...You decide to lie.
"No, I haven't met her"

Diamond Tiara started to nibble on her cone, as she giggled at your answer "Now we both know that's not true. I've heard Discord, when he was talking to daddy in setting this up, brag about how he's such "high" in status that he got some royal approval of showing you off to both Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight."

you turn your head slightly from your hunched position to look at her with tired frustrated eyes
"Then why did you ask me then?"

"Just wanted to see if you'd lie to me, now that I know you're a little liar, I'll just have to remember enough of what you say to point out any contradictions in case you remembering the truth"

"And what do you mean by that?"

Diamond Tiara finishes her ice cream cone and hops off her chair. Your ice cream had already melted onto your hoof and inside the cone. "That's nothing for you to worry about Anon. But you should worry about your ice cream. It's already melted and made your little hoof all dirty." She snickered

You didn't even notice. Your hoof wasn't like a hand. It was tough and hard, your old hands were soft and squishy. You pop the cone into your mouth and start licking the chocolate from your hoof.

Diamond Tiara gagged "gross, you may look better than most colts but your manners are totally awful"

"Unless you want me to wipe it on your face, this is how I'm doing it"

"Watch it Anon, or else"

You grumble and stay silent. And finish your cleaning. When you are done, Diamond Tiara demands you to take her to Twilight's castle. You didn't even need the map for this one. It stuck out like a sore thumb.

Diamond Tiara wasn't all too talkative during the walk, she wasn't even rubbing up on you anymore. No, instead she was getting excited. She was going to be able to spend some one on one time with Twilight Sparkle.....hurrah.....

You both arrive at the castle doors. No guards of course. It didn't seem Twilight's style. You step up, and knock at them as loud as you can.

after a few moments, the door slightly opens, and a familiar purple dragon, small in size, answers the door.
"Who is it?"
It was Spike, Twilight's number one assistant.

You hadn't met him yet. In fact, you wondered if he even knew about you yet or if Twilight hadn't bothered mentioning.

"'s ummm..two kids wanting to meet up with Princess Twilight Sparkle, is she in right now?" You say with purposeful false ignorance

Spike raised his eyebrow, cautious and wary of you "Yeah....but she's not seeing anypony at the moment. She's busy planning for the Friendship Festival"

You smile, haha. that's good. Now you didn't have to deal with this.
"Oh, welp, thanks bro, seeya later"

You quickly wave to Spike as you turn around. But Diamond Tiara, still facing you. Looks at you with contempt "That's it? You're just going to walk away?"

"You heard him, she's busy."

"Anon, if I don't get to see Princess Twilight Sparkle, I'm going to cry and go all the way home without turn around and convince that stupid dragon to let us in."

oh you wish you had some Tylenol, this was getting to be too much.
You turn around and call to Spike as he was closing the door.
"W-wait, hold on"

Spike stops for a moment, but only to tell you "Look bro, Twilight is super busy and can't see anypony for any reason. I'm not letting you in."

Come on Anon...think of something.
"umm..I'm....ahh...ahmm...I'm a special case."

Spike just gave you a stoic stare
"No, you're a nutcase for thinking I'm just going to let you in"

"No, what I mean is that I'm the orphan my dad Discord brought over to see Twilight a few days ago.. I just......wanted to talk to her about....something...about...that...thing"

Suddenly, Spike became interested as he opened the door wider,
" you're that Anon kid? Man, sorry to hear who adopted you, that's gotta be rough. If you came to tell Twilight about anything he's been doing that's wrong...thennnn..I guess I can let you in"
Yes! it worked!
"But just you, I can't just let anypony in here. She's gonna have to wait out here. You understand. It's ummm...castle rules, you know?" Spike continued

You didn't even have to turn around to know she was probably upset. oh nope, you really didn't. Because now she was at Spike's face.
"Anypony?! You listen here you lit-!"

You immediately clasp your hooves on her muzzle, you do it with more than enough force to actually make her squeal in pain. You then look at Spike and chuckle nervously
"aha, sorry about that. I've been dragging her along all day telling her my problems and she's not really in the best of moods, you understand how it is. Can't you let her in just this once? It'd probably lift her mood a little"

"If she's that angry over just you talking to her....yikes..I guess I can. Just try not to bother Twilight too much,huh? She's already busy as is."

You nod

Spike opens the doors wide for you and points down the hallway to another set of doors "She's in the haven't really come up with a name for it yet. But she's in there"

You nod and thank Spike, and step on in. Diamond Tiara not saying a word as she rubs her muzzle.

Spike, you noticed, seemed to have a large bag. probably with bits. And a list. It seems he was going to go out anyway to pick up whatever was on that list. It was probably for Twilight. Because as you both stepped in, He stepped out, only stopping to tell you both to lock the front doors before you leave.

As Spike leaves, Diamond Tiara turns to you, her face scrunched up from pain and annoyance. "Did you have to do that so hard? You hurt me"

"Yeah well, if I didn't stop you, you'd probably get us both denied from stepping a single hoof inside. You should be thanking me"

"hmph, whatever"

you both reach the doors. Before you knock. You look at Diamond Tiara
"Look, you need to be respectful, ok? I really don't want to upset Twilight. I don't even want to be here"

Diamond Tiara gave your head a little pat "Don't worry Anon, I'll make you look good in front of her. Think of it as a present for not screwing this up. I'd probably do more did hurt my face after all."

you knock, annoyed with her words of "generosity"
"Just please...don't make me look bad."

"I won't"

as you wondered how true that statement was. You can hear Twilight calling out.
"Spike, is that you? Did you forget something?"

You call back, through the door
"U-ummm, Princess Twilight, It's me, Anon...can I come in?"

Suddenly, her voice became frantic "A-Anon?! G-give me a moment! Don't come in!"

Suddenly you can hear rustling and bustling coming from the other side of the door.
What was all that about? Even Diamond Tiara looked confused.
After a bit, Twilight calls you into the room. And as you both step inside. You can see a pile of diagrams, scrolls, books, and even some dioramas littered around the room. All of them were glowing red.
Twilight rushed up to the both of you, and instead of greeting you, she frantically looked behind the door you both came through. and then bobbed her head every which way
"Anon..where's Discord, I don't see him"

"Umm...he's not with me. Is something the matter?"

"What?! no no.." Twilight takes a breath to calm herself as her horn starts to glow, making the red aura around the dispersed items disappear. .."Was just wondering....Wait,what are you doing here Anon? Is something the matter?"

You shake your head, and smile fakely. With as many fake smiles as you've been giving. You wonder if Pinkie had some sort of smile radar, and if it broke yet.
"Nope nothing's the matter. everything is just-"

Suddenly, in a burst of excitement, Diamond Tiara takes the opportunity to jump in. "Princess Twilight! It's so so so good to meet you face to face! I'm Diamond Tiara, but you already knew that right?!"

Twilight was confused, unsure why you brought along a guest. She was too busy to deal with a regular visit. She thought this was important "Oh...umm..Hello! You're Filthy Rich's daughter right?"

She nodded joyously "mhmmmm! It makes me really glad to know that you remember me! There's so many things I want to ask you!"

Good grief, she was star struck as hell. It was embarrassing given Twilight herself didn't want to seem to deal with it.

"Well..uhh" Twilight could tell she was ecstatic to meet her, but she really didn't have the time "I'm so glad...but, look. I'm really really sorry but I'm really busy planning for the Friendship Festival and unless it's reeeallllllllllllly important. Then it's gonna have to be some other time."

You'd think that'd be it. But Diamond Tiara just gaily hopped over to some of the scrolls and started looking at them "Well that's no problem! Maybe I can help, or get my daddy to help! I could be your assistant!"

Twilight used her magic to move the scrolls away from Diamond Tiara and sighed "I already have an assistant. Again, I'm sorry" Then Twilight turned to you "Anon, is something the matter? I assume you gave Spike a good reason to let you in. I'm very busy"

oh...ho...everything was the matter. You could probably just blurt out everything right now. But then it'd be he says, she says. And you felt you didn't have Twilight's full understanding. She'd probably only really listen to you if it was about Discord.
"I just..uhhh...wanted to see you. And I brought a friend a long. I mean...I dunno a lot of ponies...I guess I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out..or something."
You pouted at her. It was the best you had. You didn't want the situation to get critical. Though you slowly started to realize you weren't much better than Discord or Diamond Tiara in the lying department. You'd really have to keep track of things to make sure everything fits. Eventually you'd have to pop out of the habit once things become more normal for you.

Twilight bit her lip, she felt bad considering your "status" as an adopted orphan. "Anon...I'm really sorry. But I really am busy. But, I do have some business to attend to tomorrow with your father. I could free up a little free time if you want to hang out that badly. But, you really need to get more friends your own age..." She looks over to Diamond Tiara for a moment, noticing she was already grabbing a few other scrolls to look at them. She moves over in to whisper to you "I'd suggest a filly named Applebloom and her friends, you'd fit right in. Because she seems more interested in me than you" were already "in" with them. Looks like this visit was about to be over.
"Ok, I' that"

Diamond Tiara took notice that Twilight was talking to you more than her and walked up to you both, annoyed "Princess Twilight, come on! we have planning to do!"

Twilight turned to her, Diamond was obviously not listening to the nice way she was saying "Get out"
"Ms.Tiara, I know you really want to help me. But I already have an assistant and friends who are helping me with this. It's very important I get this all worked out so this festival can happen. It's for the benefits of Ponies and Griffons and yaks and everypony else everywhere that this all get done in time. But maybe, if you're really good. Then maybe I can take you on as a temporary assistant for my next project, is that alright?"

Diamond Tiara stomped her hoof and whined "But I want to help you with this! This is gonna be the biggest thing ever and I want to be a part of it!"

Twilight started to get a little annoyed with her "I'm sorry. But this isn't about status. It's about how important friendships are."

"What, who cares about that?!" Diamond barked

Twilight, taking immediate offense to that, Went into one of her usual spiels about the importance of love and friendship. She found Diamond's comment very rude.
Not wanting to seem like you were in anyway in agreeance with DT. You clap your hooves and root for friendship at the end of Twilight's speech. Diamond Tiara however, still thought it was pretty dumb. But, instead of saying so, she just looked in fake wonderment and said "oooooooooohhhh"

Twilight smiled, relieved that she may have understood "Do you understand now why it's so important?"

Diamond Tiara nodded "uh huh! That's why I really REALLY think you should take me on as an assistant. I'm sure my daddy could help fund anything extra you may need"

Twilight's smile instantly flashed into that of aggravation and disappointment. She walked up between the two of you and focused her magic until all three of you were teleported outside.
both you and DT were disoriented enough for Twilight to slip to the door and say quickly "I appreciate the offer but I'm handling it quite fine, please have a good day and Anon I'll see you tomorrow." And then she slammed and locked the door.

Diamond Tiara was shocked, shocked that someone like her would be turned away by a princess. "Wha-ho-wh-HOW COULD SHE JUST DO THAT TO ME?! ME! DIAMOND TIARA!"

You smiled, at least you get to have something good happen to you throughout all this. She just got utterly denied while you still get an invite.

She then turned to you, furious "AND THEN YOU, HOW DO YOU GET TO VISIT AGAIN WHILE I DON'T?!"

You look up in the sky, and turn your smile to that of neutrality. You didn't need her to notice you were savoring this.
"Hey, it's just business. My dad is pretty big time. I'm sure the reason she wants to see me is over some official stuff."

Diamond Tiara started to dig her right hoof into the dirt, upset and angered "I can't believe she'd just turn me away after I told her I could guarantee her extra funding. GRRRRRR. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY!"

You shrug, looking at the sun's position, it was already starting to go down
"Well, I did my best to get you in there. So don't blame me. Because if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even have had the chance to see her. So are we squares for now? Because I really should be taking you home."

Diamond Tiara looked up, and noticed the sun's position as well. She then turned to you with a scowl. "You're lucky she at least offered me something, or else you'd be toast......take me home.."

Oh, you were sure after that display that Twilight wasn't going to have her help with any other projects either. But whatever, she was finally being compliant enough to give you a free pass with the plus that today was finally over.
You both return to the manor, not much more talking to be done, as she was still muttering about being rejected by Twilight.
when you both arrive and knock on the door. It isn't Filthy Rich but one of his maids who answer the door this time....oh holy crap. She was a cutie. A long black mane with grey fur and sapphire eyes. and that pseudo french accent and outfit...unf..

She tells you you are allowed inside for a snack under Rich's orders. It seems he was out at the moment on some business of his own and wouldn't return until nightfall. Just as well, Diamond had already confirmed you were squarsies for now. Which hopefully she'd take to her word. And you didn't really want to go inside anyway. You were just...done with the day. Doesn't stop you from giving the maid a lusty eye. And although you wanted to bang her, you declined her offer for snacks just to make sure you didn't have to deal with any more nonsense.

With your response, she took Diamond Tiara inside, and wished you a good evening and a safe trip back home. Diamond taking the time to whisper to you about how she has you due to those pictures before disappearing behind the door.

You were alone now....or were you?
"Well now, that little go around went all over the place now didn't it? I'm very disappointed in you Anon, how could you lose control over the situation like that? All that extra brain power and you folded like a bad hand of poker. For shame."

you can hear a ringing inside your ear, that was Discord's voice. But where was he?

"Then again, hanging inside here the whole time, I could very well be mistaken on the word "extra"...or “brain power” for that matter "

You looked around, but you couldn't spot him. But it seems...he was hanging around the whole time.

Chapter 28

View Online

you can feel an itching in your ear. You give your ear a bop, and when you do, a small Discord plops out of it, and floats up to your eye level "Careful Anon, you might crush me"

You were caught in surprise. He was in your ear...and.....was he there..the whole time?
"Discord?! Holy....were you in my ear the entire time?!"

Discord nodded as he starting spinning his talon finger in the air, resting his back on a cloud of air as a small ring begins to form where he's spinning "Of course I was, where else would I be? I did say I'd be right at your side, didn't I?"

He did, but you expected him to be at your side only for Filthy Rich...not the entire day. But...
"Hold on, if you were with me the entire time, why didn't you do anything?! I was getting obliterated out there!"

Discord nodded in agreeance as he tossed the ring up and it came over both of you. As it passes through, you both end up back at the house. "Yes, you were. I really have to applaud her, she pulled out all the stops and smashed you to bits. It was quite hilarious"

You growled, he found it funny?!

Discord yawned "Don't blame me, I would have helped but I got too caught up at looking at these adorable photos. Just look at you, you must not get a lot of female attention, hmm?" Discord fanned his paw over his talons, generating a fan of photos in it's clutch.


Discord looked at you, with a bored expression "Are you talking about the photos I took of our family? Oh no no Anon, I already took the liberty of putting it on mine and your dresser. I'm talking about the photos your little adversary's stooge took. see?" Discord flipped the photos to reveal that they were the ones taken by Silver Spoon.

Instantly, you went from a state of rage to that of immense confusion.
"Those photos..aren't those the ones Silver Spoon took? How did you get those?"

Discord started to chuckle as he spoke to you in a mocking tone "Duh Anon, I'm the spirit of chaos, remember...unlimited magic?"


Despite feeling stupid in that regard, you felt a huge amount of relief. But...
"Discord...I-is that all of them?"

Discord crunched the photos inbetween two slices of bread and downed them in a single gulp and swallowed "Every last one, mmmm..that hits the spot"

You were in awe, he actually helped you out and removed Diamond Tiara's blackmail element from play, for seemingly no reason.

Discord looked at you and suddenly got annoyed "What, no "Thank you, Dad" ? That's very rude Anon, such bad manners"

You snap out of your awe-inspired stupor and promptly give a small bow of your head
"Thank you...Dad....but, I gotta ask. Why did you do it? You usually just mess with me. I'm just sorta awestruck"

"You are my son now, Anon. I couldn't let that little gargoyle COMPLETELY take control. Two against one is hardly fair."

You feel absolute relief, Discord had given you a reprieve from the fear of blackmail. Though you wondered what would happen to Silver Spoon now that the photos were gone. And the more you thought about it...
"Discord...I can't go through this whole thing. She's out to get me, you saw that. Can't you call this off?"

Discord shook his head "Sorry Anon, all I can do is discuss with Filthy Rich in shortening it. It would help if you both kept up your little buddy buddy act though. And even then, I don't even really want to try in the first place. He keeps trying to ask me to help him with a little business if I'd sit down and listen to more useless nonsense after having to sit seven hours listening to Princess Goodyfourshoes....not that I hate her, she's my friend and all, but JAAAAEEEEZZZZZ she just never stopped."

"Ok then...can you at least help keep things even between me and Diamond Tiara then? I hate to admit it. But even with all the knowledge I have...I can't figure out how to best her. It's really weird when you don't have the TV as a window of strategy"

"Well I'd imagine it's easy to know what should be done when you have the ability to see what everypony is doing during any time the episode would shift around. I've been watching them myself and I only have one thing to say..... How did Rainbow Dash become the element of loyalty again? I swear I'd be a better candidate than her.

So, he started watching the episodes...and there hasn't been any crazy anomaly. That got you curious.
"Discord, doesn't it bother you this is all part of a TV show?"

Discord shook his head "No, I may be worried if that was actually the case. But it isn't.."

"It isn't? But the show exists and correlates with this world, hell, you even have John Delancie's voice. How do you explain that?"

Discord rolled his eyes "Humans...all the smarts to make technology more amazing than any pony here and yet you can't grasp the simple concept of alternate dimensions...I mean..Look at where you are right now you honestly think this chaotic place is actually part of Equestria?"

You shook your head " was part of the show.That’s what I’m saying. How do you explain that?"

"Easy...." Discord stretched his limbs apart..creating a line. Then a web of lines started to appear around it "Imagine this line is the dimension Equestria currently resides in. Now...way over here, far far away is your dimension." suddenly dotted lines appeared, connecting to every dimension "These lines represent ideas that travel among universes. These ideas vary wildly in type. Some stay in their origin world, some transfer into other universes or even create parallel universes, and some are even shared among universes. These ideas sometimes pop into other beings heads and become theirs and then become a concept. To make it simple. The idea of this world popped into a human's head and so a show was created out of it. And me, being your friendly neighborhood Draconequus, can travel between dimensions and see the leylines of these ideas."

Woah...this was all complicated stuff.

"man..this is sounding like Kingdom, uhh..basically. Nobody has an original idea?"

Discord shook his head "I didn't say that, ideas that generally stay within their own dimension are original your dimension and proper parallel dimension's ideas of "Pizza" and "Sex robots"...but I digress. Essentially, in short. The TV show you see was from an idea that flowed from this world."

You think you understood. It seemed to make sense, oddly enough.
"So you can travel to any dimension you want to? I didn't figure you had that much power"

"Unfortunately I can't, there are certain rules when it comes to hopping dimensions, Anon. Such as distance. I can't hop to any dimension that is too far apart. They have to be about..." He puts his paw and talons close together "This close for me to be able to do so"

You notice the line between this world and your world is really far apart. much farther than what he indicated
" did you get to my world then? It looks really far away from here"

Discord chuckled "Oh that's easy, if you look at this line here. There exists another Equestria where there happens to be a mirror that oddly enough...travels through an actual idea leyline that takes you to a human universe very close to yours...Using that, I went to your world, then back to the Equestrian human world, back to alternate Equestria and right here to good old Equestria. Dimensions are quite amazing actually...did you know there's even a dimension where they never released me again and Twilight graduated..something..I don't know..Didn't care too much to pay attention."'d never had thought it'd all be that complicated.

Discord wipes away the lines "And that concludes Discord's lesson on dimensions and leylines for the day. And so you don't worry your silly little head. I will help you with this whole Diamond Tiara business to make sure it all ends smoothly for you."

"..Thanks...But how are you going to do it if you aren't really willing to talk to Filthy Rich?"

Discord snickered evilly "You leave that to me Anon, I have a few ideas on how to make this work"

"You're not going to tell me? Shouldn't I be in on it?"

"Anon, if you were in on it then it wouldn't be as convincing....I can't trust you with this information because then anything I do wouldn't seem authentic."

You didn't like the sounds of that
"You're gonna cause me some hell, aren't you?"

"Oh don't look at it that way, I'm just leveling the playfield in my own innocent,playful way. Unless you just want me to turn her into a grape...I could just do that."

You wave your hooves approvingly, you didn't want that, oh no no no no
"No no, don't do that. I hate her, but She's still a I can't believe I said that....look, I just want everything to go smoothly, with a little payback of course....just nothing over the top"

Discord chuckled at your own absurdity "Funny, I seem to remember you actually wanting to cause her harm"

You sigh, he was right...but..
"Yeah yeah...I did ,but. She's a kid, I'm an adult who looks like a kid. She may be a little hateful rat but there's still a chance she could turn good. I mean if she was like...I dunno...evil or something then I'd just say turn her into a grape. I wouldn't miss her, and as long as the Crusaders don't find out....nah..they'd still get worried, wouldn't they?"

Discord nodded "Empathy can be so troublesome sometimes."

without warning, a small table appeared in front of you. With it, a glass of some fizzy black liquid and some very familiar foods...a large Rice Krispies treat and a bag of nacho cheese Doritoes.

Discord pulled up a chair for you "I thought after such a hard day you'd appreciate some more.......familiar food and a drink. Still, I hate too much order, so like before, they are chock full of healthy nutrients your little body needs despite looking like they’d give you a heart attack."

You cautiously sit...he was being really nice to you...maybe too nice.
"Why are you being so nice to me right now? You usually have some sort of trick or sight gag to pull on me by now."

Discord nodded "And you'd be right...the fact that you were expecting one would be a very good reason I haven't yet. Can't get too obvious, Anon."

Yeah...can't get too obvious..hrn.

You look down at your was rather nostalgic. Not what you'd call a proper dinner though, even if it was turned into a healthy one.
"...Thanks. Discord...I appreciate all this. I really do."

Discord didn't say anything though. He just stayed silent for a moment before completely changing subjects "Ahh yes, and Twilight wants to see us tomorrow apparently. Troublesome, but I think we can manage it just fine. But I'm going to get an early sleep just in case, As Rarity would say...” Discord’s voice changes to that of Rarity herself “need to get that beauty sleep if I want to look my best, ciao!"

Before you could say anything else, Discord again disappeared to god whatever room he might be in this house. You smile, you didn't know what it was, but it made you smile.

You ate your food, and left the plates about. He'd probably appreciate it if you left things messy. You didn't really want to go to bed. It was still early enough for you. But you had no way of leaving on your own. You had to see if Discord could give you your own way in and out of the house without having to go through the terrifying outside.
You walked up into your room and looked around, and saw the book, the Daring Do book that had sat on the ground since you were unable to pick it up.
You smirk, with your new found knowledge you are able to pick up the book with relative ease. You take off your saddle bag and toss it to the side as you hop onto your bed and begin to read the book. Might as well see what Equestrian adventure literature was like since you had nothing else to do.
And so you read...and you kept reading until the extra comforting aura of your bed lulled you into a deep sleep.

Chapter 29

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You wake up, laying on your side.

You yawn, you had a pretty peaceful sleep. You could vaguely remember a dream of adventure
Clutched in your hooves was the Daring Do book, you hadn't finished it. But it was pretty good so far.

Despite what happened yesterday, the fact that Discord seemed...nicer...was still fresh in your mind. You weren't sure if it was a one time thing or not. But it was nice.
as you hopped off to open the door that laid on the floor of your room. You prepped your mind so the gravity would shift to let you down.
You open the door, and take your first step. But there was no shift. You fall straight down into the next room.

You yell, did you do something wrong? You hadn't the time to think as you slam head first into...Gelatin?

Suddenly you found yourself stuck and submerged in what seemed to be gigantic red gelatin.
Discord popped out of nowhere, he was staring at you from outside the gelatin as happy as can be "Good Morning Anon! I've made you some Gelatin! Isn't that great?"

No! You started to realize you couldn't breath and struggled to get out. Welp, you knew his niceness wouldn't last forever. But right out of the gate?!

Discord face of glee suddenly turned to that of contempt "Anon, I made this for you to eat, not to play with. Now hurry up and eat your fill. We need to go see Twilight post haste so we can be done with whatever boring thing she wants with us so we can move on to the fun stuff."

Goddammit! nonchalant as ever about what could be a dire situation. You desperately start munching and chomping your teeth at the gelatin and move slowly forward as you nearly run out of breath.
Right when things are getting hazy, you manage to pop your head out of the gelatin and cough and hack. tons of the gel like fluid popping out of your mouth.

Discord looks down at the chunks and sighs "Anon, now is no time to decorate the floor, I just told you we have to go soon."

You look at him, angry at the fact you could have drowned in fucking gelatin.
"Dammit! You didn't have to set it right outside my door! You nearly killed me!"

Discord hovered up to you and took some of the gelatin in his mouth and started chomping. "Well I couldn't very well put it to the side, you would have fallen onto your head."

"Why did you even remove the gravity..shifty..thing? I could have just walked down! Remember!?"

"Too slow, Twilight felt the need to send a letter. a letter Anon! I mean, she acts as if I didn't hear her yesterday"

you couldn't win this. Fine, You were just extra angry because you had just woken up. He wouldn't let you drown...most likely. You take a breath, and relax yourself as your body bobs around in the gelatin.
“As if she’d have trusted you to listen...”
You tried to get out of the gelatin, but no amount of struggling was getting you out.

Discord starts to rub his chin "Hrmmm, I suppose that sounds sensible enough. It's makes me a little sad though, makes me feel as if nopony really appreciates me"

"...I.....don't think anypony couldn’t notice you know what...forget mind getting me out?"

Discord snaps his talons, teleporting you out of the gelatin and sending you right to it's side. You take a glance at it, and stick your hoof in it and grab a chunk and stuff it in your mouth. While trying to escape it, you had noticed it’s delicious cherry goodness.
"This is pretty good now that I'm not drowning in it."

At least he served up some good food 100% of the time. And...apparently it was always hoped. You didn't ever feel sick or out of energy. You take another hoof full and slam it in your mouth. Good stuff.

Discord was busy making different sets of clothes appear and vanish "Hmmmmm..which one of these would be good...I can't decide...Anon, which one of these do you think would be presentable to Twilight?"

He turns to you, on one side was two monster costumes, on the other was a couple of rags.

Definitely terrible choices no matter what. Grabbing one more hoof full of Gelatin. You think to yourself that the cute tux ensemble you both wore would be better.
"What about the tuxes and top hats? They are pretty classy."

Discord chuckled and tapped at his forehead "Yes of course, I suppose "Class" is the correct way to go."

He snaps his talons. making your tux appear right on you as his appears on himself.
He seemed to be in a rush this morning. You wondered what this was all about.
"Discord? What's up? What was in the letter exactly?"

Discord straightens his top hat as he speaks "It's a summons Anon, Apparently this is high end official royal business. One that calls for our arrival as soon as possible" didn't think he'd care if he was late or not.
"'s just odd to see you in a rush. I would have thought you'd just procrastinate or find a way out of it."

"Normally I would. But I have responsibilities too. Anon. It'd look bad on the both of us if we didn't heed the words of our wise and intelligent princess"

Whatever was on the letter probably had to do with the whole adoption thing. Meaning you'd probably have to prepare yourself for anything thrown at you as well. You just hope Discord had covered every detail.

"Ahh yes Anon..." Discord said as he hovered over to you to straighten your top hat "She's probably going to hit us hard with some questions. I trust you are resourceful enough to give her the answers she wants to hear, right?"

You nod.
"Yeah, but Discord. I was thinking. What if your plan gets discovered? I mean...That'd be really bad for the both of us. Really really bad. I know you have good intentions, but I was just thinking. What if somepony finds out?"

"Hrn? Anon, as long as we proceed with tact then we should be in the clear. Word is already starting to spread about you and me, and from what I hear. It's positive. Nothing bad could possibly come from this as long as we play our cards right."

You really hope some Saturday morning bullshit doesn't get you both discovered. You feared it might be a ticket straight back to earth. In fact..
You gave Discord a stern look
"Discord, you have to make sure you have all your bases covered. And I mean all of them. I want to really help you achieve your goal here. But even after your lesson about dimensions...I'm still convinced theres some tropes that can come to play that could ruin everything.. You have to make sure Discord. I'm telling you....we're both screwed if anypony finds out..."

Discord gave a light hearted chuckle "Oh Anon, taking charge are we? Do you think I've missed something?"

"You may have...You have before. I really don't want to go back to earth, Discord. I'm certain I can find a happier life here in Equestria. But I don't want it screwed up because you missed something. Besides, could you imagine how Fluttershy would react if she found out?"

Discord gave you applause "Bravo Anon, I approve of your initiative. It means you are taking this as seriously as I am. But I can assure you I've taken all the measures needed to prevent us from being found out. All I require from you is to follow along as if you were an adopted colt."

you nod, that's what you were doing so far. You still thought there may have been a hole. But if there was. Your keen eye would spot it. But still, you had to wonder.
"Discord...I gotta ask, are we going to keep this up forever? I mean...I guess it's not all that bad. It's just weird I may have to adopt this identity for the rest of my life and nopony would ever know..."

Discord nodded "We would, but it won't be all that bad. Once we get more settled in, I can start letting you out on your own and you could become your own colt. How does that sound?"

That sounded pretty good actually. You were getting sick of this on-rails new life you had so far.
"Yeah, sounds good. You'll keep your word on that right?"

Discord nods "I hope so, all this planning gives me such a headache. I could get very ill if it keeps up..yes, letting you go off on your own would definitely be better for my health. That is if I can trust you not to ruin the plan."

You felt pretty confident that you could keep it up.. Besides, you got a chance at restarting your life over. Who knows what the future held for you.
"Yeah, I can manage it. Just have to get past Diamond Tiara too, you have my back on that still right?"

Discord nodded "Yes yes, but first thing's first. We have a princess to satisfy"

You nod, you were ready. All you had to do was act like a happy kid. That wasn't so hard.
With that, Discord snapped his talons. Teleporting right behind the doors to the cutie map.

You shake your head to orient'll never get used to teleporting.
"hrn? huh...I thought we'd just barge right in."

"Manners Anon, manners. This is an official summons after all...not a friendly visit." Discord said as he knocked on the chamber doors.


You could hear Twilight's voice across the door. "Who could that be?"

Then you hear Spike's "Maybe it's Discord?"

Then Twilight "That's silly Spike. Discord doesn't knock on doors. Maybe it's Pinkie Pie, she did want to help with the festival plans today."

Suddenly, you could hear little steps approach the door "oh boy! that sounds great! Can't wait to hear the kind of ideas Pinkie Pie has, I'll let her in right away!"

Hrm...seems they were ready for you guys to actually barge in. You look up to Discord who just stands there waiting...but his was now a creepy Pinkie head. we go.

Spike opened the door and greeted the false Pinkie "Hey Pinkie Pie!"

Discord lowered his face to Spike's as his eyes became red, the poofy hair became mangled, and his teeth became fanged and sharp "Hello there Spike, are you ready to smiiiiiiiiiillleeeeeee!"
Spike screamed in terror as he turned and ran the other direction "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

You hold in a chuckle, that was pretty good.

Spike dove behind Twilight as he shivered with fright "T-T-T-TWILIGHT! PINKIE GOT POSSESSED!"

"Wha?" Possessed?" Twilight looked over to the door, and when she could only see you, the door hadn't opened wide enough to get a glimpse of Discord from where she was at "...It's just Anon Spike. how could you mistake him for Pinkie? They don't even look the same..." Suddenly it hit Twilight that you were there "...wait...Anon?"

Spike looked over Twilight to take a look himself "B-b-b-b-but...what?! I-I could have sworn that..."

You could see that all the books and scrolls had been moved out of the room. Twilight stood up and beckoned you over "Come on in Anon, you don't have to be shy. Where's your father? I thought he'd be with you."

Twilight started to look around, she seemed to be at the ready for Discord to pop out of nowhere.

But he didn't. the moment he heard his cue. He opened the other door of the twin doors leading into the room and bellowed "Good Morning Twilight! How are you doing this morning?!"

"Discord?" Twilight looked around, she could have sworn he was going to just pop in from somewhere "G-good morning....huh..Well, um. Will you both come in? We have a few things we need to talk about."

"Ohhhh...that's very uninviting Twilight. Were friends remember? You don't need to sound so official." Discord said as he walked forward. You walked along with him.

Discord decided to plop himself on Fluttershy's seat. You just sat next to him. It was pretty comfortable to sit as a colt. Your body seemed better for just plopping down than when you were a human.

"Discord, this is official business afterall. I've been looking over the papers you gave me. It all seemed legitimate. But I noticed there was something missing, there's no assigned social worker for Anon."

Goddammit...yes of course he had to miss something. You cringed that there may have been a hole already. But when you look at Discord, he didn't seemed worried at all.

"I skipped it entirely. How are social workers supposed to get to my home? Besides, I don't trust them. They'd probably mark me down as a bad father immediately and take my poor little Anon away."

That sounded like your cue. You immediately put on a frowny face and whined
"T-take me away? But..I don't want to go away! I love my Dad!"

You noticed Discord cringe at those words. A little too strong sure. But it was effective.

Twilight noticed you. She didn't say anything , but sheseemed to show some concern. "...hmmm..Discord, you need to have an assigned social worker to check up on you and Anon every now and again. You could meet them in a neutral place if you need to."

Discord yawned "Too bothersome, why don't you just do it if you are so big on assigning me a social worker"

"Me?!" Twilight said in surprise "Discord, I can't just assume the role of a social worker. I don't have the proper credentials and-"

Discord interrupts Twilight with a hearty big laugh "oooohhh Really? You?! lacking the credentials. My dear Twilight, you are a princess. That makes you more than qualified for the job...and besides, we are very close friends. And yet I can see in your eyes that you seem to think I'm pulling some sort of trick. And since that is the case, who better to be the social worker than you, you'd be able to sniff me out instantly if I was pulling the wool over your eyes...which I'm not"

Twilight thought about it "Well..I was planning to do a follow up on you two today anyway...I guess...I can do it. But just because it was your idea doesn't mean I'll be lenient. This colt's happiness and health is what's important here."

Discord took a sniff of his nose, and then scratched it "That's fine with me, I have nothing to hide."

"Alright then.....then I shall conduct the first official evaluation and have it recorded in the castle records. Spike, I need you to write down everything important, got it?"

Spike stood up and immediately went for a quill and scroll, and then gave Twilight a salute "No problem Twlight, I got this"

Twilight nodded to Spike, and then turned to you "Anon. I actually have a question for you first. Would you mind if I conducted a little test on you with my magic? It won't hurt you. I just want to make sure of something."

That was worrisome, and seemed a little intrusive. You looked to Discord for an answer.
"D-dad? is that ok?"

Discord didn't even turn to face you as he made a parfait appear in his talons and began to dig in. "Of course it is, just let Twilight do whatever she needs to do and relax. There's nothing to worry about."

mmmm...just was going to have to trust him, but what spell was she going to cast?
You nod to Twilight
"Alright then, I don't mind miss Twilight...."

You decide to make a cute nervous face, as if you had made an adorable mistake
"I-I mean Princess Twilight..I-I'm're so pretty that I made that mistake...sorry sorry.."

Twilight didn't know how to take that comment. She noticed you were acting odd yesterday when you showed up with Diamond Tiara. she even had a thought maybe you had an excuse to actually visit her because you may have had a crush on her.
Twilight gave you a warming smile as her horn began to glow "I promise it'll be alright Anon, this will be quick. Ok? And you can call me Twilight if you want, in fact. I'd prefer it that way."

She gives your head a gentle rub with her hoof , thinking it'd calm you. Instead, it just gave you that usual fuzzy feeling...along with something else.
You can feel some kind of magical surge go through your body for a quick moment, then disappear.
"W-what happened?"

"Oh nothing Anon" Discord said as he downed the glass the parfait was sitting in "Twilight didn't think you were a real pony, she cast a spell that would dissipate some of my magic to show the "Truth" of the situation. But of course, nothing happened. I told you Twilight, I have nothing to hide"

indeed, nothing happened.
"I just had to be sure Discord...I hope that didn't upset you Anon, I just wanted to be sure. It was nothing against you." She tried to reassure you, you felt it was intrusive, but you just put on a happy boyish smile.
"That's ok Twilight! I don't mind! you were just doing your duty!"
You hope you weren't laying it on too thick.

Spike, writing down the results of the test, noticed how happy you seemed. "Wow! this kid's pretty happy. Maybe he's got a crush on you Twilight?"

"What?!" You cried

"Spike!" Twilight yelped, surprised by him.

Bookhorse was cute, but definitely not on your waifu list.

"I-I don't have a crush...I was just being polite.."

Spike smirked "Surrrreeee...I could tell that you got some sort of thing for her"

Twilight looked back at Spike "You'd be an expert on that, wouldn't you Spike?"

Spike blushed and felt embarrassed, he knew what she meant, and so did you "H-hey! That's not the reason! I just have a good eye for that sort of thing, that's all.."

Twilight giggled "Alright Spike, I believe you."
Twilight turned back to Discord "Discord, you don't mind if I ask your son a few basic questions do you?"

"Not at all, do whatever you need to do Twilight. I will comply with whatever you need from me, as I keep saying. I have nothing to hide."

Twilight was internally impressed, the fact Discord had come through the doors, her spell revealing nothing suspicious even though it should have, and Discord not being difficult was very amazing to her. She even had to compliment him."Discord, thank you for your cooperation. I'm really proud of you."

Discord chuckled "Yes, I've been getting that a lot lately."

Twilight nodded, then turned to face you. she gave you an inviting and warm smile and spoke to you in a happy positive tone "Alright Anon, I'm just going to ask you a few questions about how things have been going for you so far. I want you to answer as honestly as you can, ok? and don't hesitate to ask me if you need any of the questions explained to you."

Easy enough...even though you were going to lie when needed.
You nod
"I'm ready Twilight!"

Twilight couldn't help but smile at your demeanor and began to ask her questions "Anon, on a rating of one to ten, ten being the highest. How would you rate your father?"

"I don't think ten is a high enough number..."

Spike had to roll his eyes at that "Oh boy..."

"Spike Don't be rude, if that's how he feels then that's how he feels. Just write down a ten."

Spike was skeptical "I dunno Twilight, now I think something fishy is going on...." He jots the information down.

"See Twilight, this is what I have to put up with. And you wonder why I get defensive. Now I have to fear for my son because now there's ones like Spike who would see him as something sinister." Discord put in an upset tone to his speech.

"Hey! It's not my fault. I didn't sell out all of Equestria to a centaur bent on world domination!" Spike barked at Discord, feeling justified in his words.

Twilight looked at Spike with disappointment "Spike! I'm surprised at you. Discord is doing his best to actually show that he's changing. It is a little extreme to adopt a child. But...that's why we are all here. Keep your opinions to yourself and just write down all the important data , alright?"

Spike grumped "Yeah yeah...yeesh, can't blame a dragon for speaking his mind...mnng..."

this was in the bag. as you thought about it. It still felt off having to fake it to win Twilight over. But you'd only have to endure it for ,hopefully, a little while longer.

Chapter 30

View Online

Twilight went through all the usual questions you'd expect. Are you being fed, are you being fed well, are you happy, do you have a room? is it clean? are you enrolled in school. To each of these questions. You were able to answer honestly for the most part that it was all good. And as you answered them, hearing you speak the truth about it made you realize, even if it was for the sake of a plan. Discord was actually pretty good at providing a home.

Twilight was amazed. You've been here for days and by the answers you have given. You were a happy and healthy child. "Anon, and everything you've answered is the truth?"

You nod
"Mhmmm! Dad even introduced me to Aunt Fluttershy. She's so nice. We took a family photo together and everything!"

"Aunt Fluttershy?" That made Twilight smile, it means Fluttershy was also involved, it was a relief to her because that meant there was someone else keeping Discord in check with the whole adoption thing. "So..then..what does Fluttershy have to say about all this?"

in an instant, the family photo appears before Twilight as Discord begins to speak "Take a look Twilight and tell me what you see...a picture is worth a thousand words, they say."

Twilight examined the looked legit, all three of you looked happy. "You all look so happy together..."

"Of course we do Twilight, I don't know what else I need to do to convince you that everything is absolutely fine. I've gone through all the proper channels and even enrolled him at the schoolhouse in Ponyville. Surely you must have a judgement by now" Discord was already getting bored and impatient.

Twilight nodded, she felt a little odd saying what she was about to say. But her magic revealed you to be a legit colt, she couldn't argue her own magic. "I do, I can honestly say, without a doubt, that you Discord are a fitting father for youn-"

"Hoooooooold it!" Spike suddenly called out "Twilight, you can't be serious! He's got to be pulling some kind of trick, What if he's got Anon scared and making him say what he wants to say?! This could be part of some big master scheme to do...something!!!"

"Spike!" Twilight turned to him, she actually felt a tinge of anger from that outburst. She herself couldn't detect any malcontent from either of you. "I don't see any more reason to be suspicious, so do you mind explaining to me why you still are?"

"Come on Twilight! Discord is ALWAYS up to something. Even if it isn't evil, he could be using this guy for..something! in fact...uhh...can I talk to you in private?"

Aye geez, he was actually on to something. Wrong on the intentions. But Spike, through his suspicions, was actually on to something.

Twilight groaned, she already felt she was on to the right decision. But Spike had always been her number one assistant. She reluctantly decided to humor him "..Alright Spike...but this better be good."

And so they went to discuss whatever he wanted to talk about in the next room. Leaving you and Discord alone.
You look to Discord, a little worried
"Yo hey, Discord. What's up with him?"

Discord chuckled "Oh Spike? My guess is that he doesn't want you to suffer in my hands, he's highly suspicious of everything I do."

Huh...sounds about right
"Well..I guess I would be too if I was him. He's right about the whole plan thing. But I think he's got the wrong idea."

"Most likely, it's not like I'm doing anything evil. I mean, if he really wanted to be suspicious of me I could just torch this whole castle. Then his suspicions would be justified"

You didn't even get worried from that statement. At this point, you were becoming used to him just saying whatever he wanted.
" do you think they are talking about in there?"

"Hrm? oh...Spike just wants to talk to you one on one because he thinks you'll be more truthful if you speak to someone your own age. How laughable. You must be almost five or six times his age. "
Discord was eavesdropping without even moving. That was neat and scary at the same time. To be around someone of such great were just glad you were his "son"

"Well, Discord. I can't blame him. I mean, I trust you. But, all things considered. You did say this was the problem you were trying to fix, so it shouldn't be surprising"

"It isn't surprising, it's just troublesome....ahh here they come."

You watch as Twilight and Spike re-enter the room.

Twilight looks to Discord, it was already obvious what she was going to say

"Discord, you don't mind if Spike has a word with you?"

Discord didn't move, change expression, or anything. "Of course I don't mind. It'll give me time to collect my thoughts" he then muttered under his breath "I hope none of them has blown anything up"

"What?" Twilight turned to Discord, thinking she heard something about blowing up.

"O-oh, I said I needed another cup...for my parfait.." Discord said as another glass appeared in his hands "There we are."

"oh..hmm.." Twilight then turned to you "You don't mind right Anon?"

Spike suddenly grabbed you from the side and ruffled your mane "Of course he doesn't Twi, were both bros."

Bros...ha...right. At least he was friendly about it.

"Spike, I won't allow it unless he's ok with it.." Twilight said to him with inflicting caution

"I don't mind. Spike seems like a pretty cool dragon"
You grin a wide grin. That should break the ice instantly.

"See? Told ya. Trust me Twilight, I got this." Spike said with confidence

you always did have a soft spot for Spike. He could be a retard at times. But when he was cool, he This could be interesting.

With that Spike leads you out of the room "Come on Anon, walk with me, talk with me."

"O-ok Mr.Spike!"

"Woah woah, don't call me Mr.Spike. Just Spike. Mr.Spike just sounds nerdy"

You nod
"Ok Spike!"

You both exit the room down a long hallway as Spike begins to chat with you
"I know you're acting. You can't fool me, we did meet yesterday you know.."

"H-huh? What do you mean?"

Spike cocked an eyebrow "Mr.Spike, Miss Twilight? All that cute and cuddly acting? Come on....It's fake, you weren't THAT polite yesterday. You called me bro, remember? Not Mister or anything like that" stayed calm, this was nothing, surely he had the wrong idea
"I did...I mean, I guess I just don't want to upset anypony. It's good to be respectful.."

"Upset Anypony? that's it...DISCORD REALLY IS MAKING YOU SAY ALL THAT STUFF ISN'T HE!? I KNEW IT!" Spike, jumping to conclusions as usual.

"What?! no! Dad isn't doing that. I just want to do my best. That's all! being...uhh.."
You had to think of something convincing....come on....
" orphan is tough you know. Parents, they'll send you back if things don't turn out well. I just don't want to go back..."

You tried to sound as pathetic and sad as possible. But. Your words were still true. If you did fuck up...who knows what would happen.

It worked, Spike could feel the feels from those words "O-oh...I guess I didn't think of it that way...ahh geez...hey...Anon, I'm sorry." He began to rub the back of his head, feeling bad about what he said "I didn't know you were doing that so you wouldn't get sent back. Has uhh..Has he ever threatened to send you back?"

You shake your head

"Not once...and I can really be myself around him. He doesn't mind. He's pretty cool with it. He can get a little worrisome around public though. But that's because it...well..hurts him to be seen as a bad guy. And I don't think he's as bad as anypony makes him out to be. He's my Dad. And I about him"

yeck, you were about to say love, too strong a word for the situation as it was.

"Wow...I didn't think Discord was capable of anything like that. Now I feel like a louse...I guess Fluttershy was right. He really is trying to change for the better..Hey Anon..sorry for putting you on the spot like that...hey, actually." Spike lit up with a smile "Since you're new around here, you're gonna need a friend if you don't want to get eaten alive around here."

"Well uhh..I mean.."

Wait...that doesn't sound bad actually. Spike was pretty cool, and you were going to need at least one guy friend. Too many girls was scary.

"Yeah...that'd be pretty cool. Having a dragon as a friend sounds really neat actually."

"Woah really? because ya know, most ponies are afraid of dragons, we can be pretty scary" Spike blew a flame up into the air and then looked at you with a cocky smile "Sure you can handle it?"

You nod, you giggle. That was pretty endearing.
"I think I can. Thanks for wanting to be my friend Spike."

Spike gave your back a pat "No problem bro, we guys gotta stick together. And besides, you're also gonna have to have somepony by your side in case things get wild for you, and this dragon is up to the job! I gotta know something though."


"Are you attracted to Twilight? Because if you are, sorry to break it to you but she's always got her head in the got no chance."

"No, not really...I was just being polite."

"Then what about Fluttershy? I saw that looked kind of blushy."

"What?! nahhh..I was just caught offguard. She's really soft..and stuff"

Spike smirked "uh huh. Be careful there bro, you did call her "Aunt" "

This...THIS coming from HIM?! ohhh nope..payback....paaaayyyyback.
"Well uhh...what about you? Twilight seemed to suggest you had a crush on somepony."

"Me?! Hey, you don't get to ask that kind of question" Spike began to blush "We don't even know eachother that well"

You smirk at him, tables turned..
"I dunno Spike, you look kind of "Blushy"...come on..who is it?"

As if you had to ask...
"Y-you wouldn't know her....hey. Come on, let's uhh...Go see what Twilight is doing!"

Spike immediately rushed to open the door as you grinned to yourself. That's how you do it.
You follow him back to the main room. Where Spike gives his final report to Twilight. It seems all went well. Much to Twilight's surprise.

Twilight, with positive finality, concluded that Discord was a fit father for you. And even congratulated him. which only fed into his boastful pride. There still had to be future checkups of course, but Twilight felt certain things would be alright after such a display. And, you got to make a new friend.

with a goodbye, you both leave the castle and look onto the horizon. So far so good. Only one more thing to deal with.

"...all things considering, that went pretty well"

"Ohhh I know" Discord shook his arms with glee "Fluttershy will be so happy to hear the news, we should go see her right now and tell her!"

heh..that was odd. Thing Discord as giddy as a schoolgirl over something like this...still.

"Wait..what about Demon Tiara?"

Discord waved his hand disapprovingly "pffft, she can wait. This is much more important. It's still early, we have plenty of time."

You shrug, who were you to argue. This meant you got to spend more time with Fluttershy. And boy, she's going to smile really big when she hears the news.

Chapter 31

View Online

Without hesitation. Discord teleports you both to the front of Fluttershy's cottage. He had such a big smile on his face, it made him look adorable. Seeing him this happy forced a smile out of you as well. It was just so nice to see.

He slithered hastily through the air right to the front door and knocked "Fluttershy! oohhhh Fluttershy! I have big news!"

You chuckle and walk up to his side
"looking pretty happy there Discord. You're not going to explode on us when she opens that door are you?"

Discord was bouncy, happy and mirthful "Of course not! I'll just be happy to know that Fluttershy will see just how great I was to get a full pass from Twilight Sparkle herself."

You sigh from his wording
"Can't you just say you are happy because Fluttershy will be happy? Because I think that's the truth of it. I'm not ignorant Discord, I know what's up"

Discord's disposition changes to that of his usual pompous demeanor "Anon, Don't try to understand the way I think or why I do the things I just might go mad trying to figure it out"

You roll your eyes and smile
"Uh huh, whatever you say Discord"

Discord doesn't answer back though, it seems his attention was already pulled away back to the door...or rather...the fact the door hasn't opened "...odd..."


"Maybe she isn't home?"

"Pffft, of course she's home. It's still too early to be anywhere else...hrnnnnn.."

"I dunno man, Fluttershy isn't the type to kee-...oh no...don't do that..."

Before you can finish your sentence, Discord pulls out a gigantic megaphone from thin air. It was huge, and had more megaphones attached to it.

You hop away as quick as you can and pull your fluffy ears down before he gets a chance to yell into it.

oh shit, you could still hear it blasting in your ears as the ground vibrates violently, trees around you lose some of their leaves as they float up. Birds fly frantically away, your vision vibrates with the ground.



You had to act, when everything settled down and he took a breath. You immediately and almost drunkenly turned and jumped to his tail and bit it hard. You couldn't hear anything but a ringing in your ear at this point. You hoped you weren't too late.

Discord didn't yelp in pain, but he did stop and moved his tail to his front. You were biting hard enough to hang from it when he lifted it high. "Anon, now's not the time to be hanging around. I'm trying to get Fluttershy out here!"

You couldn't hear him. You thought he still would be yelling.

Discord noticed you not replying or coming off his tail. He quickly and near instantly stabs his talon finger through your right ear as it pops out the left. He just as instantly pulls out as well.

You yelp from a quick sting of pain as you plop down to the ground, again, hitting your head. as you rub your head, you notice the ringing in your ear is gone and you can hear again.

"Anon, what are you doing biting my tail when you could be helping me bring out Fluttershy?!"

You stand up, and nearly trip again. You were still very disoriented
"Dammit Discord...egh...Can't you see she isn't home?! ugh.. everything is so blurry"
You fall over, losing your balance.

Discord chuckles "As I said, it's still early. She should be....hrn?"
Discord notices a paper on the ground, it had tape on it. It seems it may have been attached to the door at some point. It was a note "Hrnn..." Discord reads it out loud "To whom it may concern, I'm sorry I'm not home today. I will be out doing errands for Twilight for the upcoming festival. Please don't wait as I will be out all day. I'm sorry for the trouble. Fluttershy...P.S:..I'm sorry"

Discord howls with laughter as he puts his paw on his forehead. "HAHAHAHAHA! I feel so foolish. Look Anon, she wasn't home after all. Don't you feel silly?"

You turn towards...something, still heavily disoriented

Discord taps your back "Anon...I'm behind you"

what? huh? You focus your eyes...and see a creepy serpent

You jump backwards in fright and into Discord's arms.

Discord just continues his mirthful laughter "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ANON STOP, YOU'RE KILLING ME!"

He loses his grip on you as he falls backwards laughing. making you fall on your back.

You lay there, hearing Discord's laughter as you submit to failure. The snake that scared you slithers up to you and looks at you. You just return it's stare.
" aren't even poisonous are you?"
The snake shook it's head
"......I wonder if this is how Warner Brothers characters feel when they make an ass out of themselves..."
The snake shrugged
"I guess you wouldn't know...well...let me ask...I didn't look that idiotic did I?"
The snake looks backwards and moves it's tail to make it look like the word "Yes"
You grumble
"....Who asked you anyway...?"

The Snake slithered away as Discord looked over you, "Anon, now is not the time to dawdle. We have to get you to the Rich estate!"

You just blink
"Isn't it too early for that?....ugh.."
You slowly get up, you weren't angry or upset anymore, just grumpy. You were getting used to Discord's antics more and more everyday, the only ones that still got you were the more extreme ones,
you were still a little disoriented however.
"....And besides....we still have to discuss a plan...ngh...and I think I need some Pepto Bismol"

"Leave everything to me Anon, you just do what you normally do. Trust me, this will even the score"

You hold your head.
"I'm all for evening the score Discord. Really, I can't stand her. But I don't want to do anything too extreme. Nothing life ruining or anything like that."

"Hrn? But don't you hate her guts Anon? I am doing this on your behalf, you know? Just say the word and I can make everything a living nightmare! HAHAHA!"

you cringe
" Just something that for sure gets me out of this without her being locked in her room everyday scared to look in her own mirror. You can do that right?"

Discord nods, but he looks a little bummed "Yes, I suppose I could whip something up that wouldn't do anything like that. But you are severely hindering my creativity, I hope you realize that"

You nod
"I do, and it's for the best. Even if you are doing this for me. We can't go all "Evil Villain" with it...hrn...I can trust you with this right?"

Discord nods "But of course Anon, I'll make sure it doesn't reach that point. All you need to do is be your" He grabs your cheek and pulls enough for you to feel a tinge of pain "usual cute self"

You pull away
You sigh
"I...can do that. I trust you Discord. So please, please. keep your word."

"I just said I would didn't I? Relax Anon, you are suddenly turning into quite the party pooper."

You take offense to that
"Hey! I can be fun, heck. If you actually chose a villain..I dunno..Queen Chrysalis or something. I'd not only be all for it. But you could turn me into a giant spaghetti monster or something and let me ravage their hive before taking a huge meatball and noodle dump on it. Then we could watch as an army of italians show up to obliterate everything."

Discord already had a notepad in his hand, wearing glasses as he wrote down what you said , repeating it quietly ", I don't think I could do human Italians. It'd be too about some hippos instead?"

Wait..he was serious?
"Really?...we'd..uh...we could do that sometime?"

Discord giggled and nodded "Of course, I wouldn't be writing it down for later if we weren't, I think it's great. It just needs a little more flavor added to it and it could be perfect"

Wow...hey. That was cool of him. You relished the thought of hassling some changeling ass for shits and giggles without fear of retaliation.
"Well umm..we can work on it later I guess. We can make time I'm sure. I mean, we can work in some mwhahahaing and a little chat with her right?"

Discord gave you a sinister grin "oh Anon, I'm liking the way you think. Tell me, when you say a little you mean just lauding over the fact we are better than her?"

You grin at him...that's exactly what you were thinking.
"You know it...b-but, just because I want to do that to her doesn't mean to do it to Diamond Tiara...I mean it ok?"

Discord huffed "yes...yes..I heard you. I'll make sure to keep it at a level that should be acceptable to you....hrn...ahh yes"

Discord snapped his talons. Making your clothes disappear and replaces them with your saddle bag "You forgot this at home. And yes, the map is inside...and no your candy isn't."

Candy?...oohh...ohh dammit. You forgot about the candied sugar cubes.
"..oh it's fine. They were in there awhile. I don't mind."

"Good. Now then...I wish you good luck Anon, I have to go prepare myself. This will be...well....A performance"

And with another snap of his talons. You found yourself in front of the Rich manor once more. This time, you were ready. She didn't have anything on you anymore now that the photos were gone. And if whatever Discord is planning does works. This would be the last day of this hell and on to actual fun things. You couldn't wait.

You walk up to the lavish front doors. And knock, preparing for Filthy Rich to open the doors.

He doesn't. Instead it's a sexy maid unicorn with a short but well groomed mane. unf...

"Oh...umm..hi...Is Filthy Rich home?"

"Ahh, you muzt be Anon. Mazter Rich iz not home. I azzume you wait for the young mistress, yez?""


Using her horn, she brings a feather duster over and brushes your face a little "I shall fetch her, but you should look more prezentable next time, you look az if you had fallen and not cleaned up"

"S-sorry. I guess..umm...things..."

The maid rolled her eyes and went back inside. You went back to regaining your composure. You were starting to think being younger had some effect on your thinking.

A few moments later. Diamond Tiara stepped out. She didn't look too pleased to see you.

"Something the matter?" You ask

"No, what would give you that idea? Considering you still have to do whatever I say, I'm actually very happy."

"So, the photos must have come out pretty good huh?"

You prevent yourself from smiling, especially when her face became even more displeased.

"O-of course they did. So you better watch yourself Anon."

You bow
"Whatever you say princess, I'm at your call"

there was a hint of arrogance in your words. She wouldn't do anything too extreme now that she didn't have the pictures. She could still cry, but you were sure you were ready for that this time, you wouldn't let yourself fall for any of her tricks. You kind of felt bad for Silver Spoon though, no doubt she must have been chewed out for her "Screw up". In any case, you'd just comply with that she'd say.

You noticed a small bag wrapped around her neck. It must have been another bag of bits.

"Today I feel like cupcakes. You will take me to Sugarcube Corner. No arguing. If you're good, I'll let you buy some."

you were good with that. You didn't really want Pinkie to see you with Diamond Tiara though. But at this point. things could go your way.
"Alright..let me just pull out my map here..."

You open your saddle bag and look at your map. It was a little ways away further from the ice cream shop. But you could get there.

Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes and stepped past you "I forget that you're still new. Follow me, I want to get there as quick as possible."

You shrug. and put the map back.

She didn't talk much along the way this time around. She must still be upset and figuring out what happened to the photos. The only thing she had to really say to you is to hurry you up.
You kept an eye out for anything out of place. a Portal, a Piano hanging from a rope, monsters. Anything Discord would do. You didn't want him to do any of what you were looking for. But you began to wonder how he was going to pull this off realistically without some zany execution. He may have had a sudden eagerness to protect you. But even he must still remember that for the sake of his own plan. Whatever he does has to be mild.

"Anon?...Anon!" Diamond Tiara calls to you.
You snap out of your small haze to look at her. She was pointing to an alley
"Pay more attention when I call to you. We are going down this alley. It is a shortcut to Sugarcube Corner."

She seemed to be waiting for you though for some reason instead of leading the way.
"ok? So let's go down it then"

"Moron! I'm not going in first. You are!"

"....why? I thought you wanted to get there as soon as possible"

Diamond Tiara sighed "Because Anon,it's an alley. Meaning it's probably filled with icky spiderwebs. You need to walk in first so you can get them all with your face"

you shrug. Whatever, it was no big deal.You'd only raise a fit if she caused you some trouble. Today, you'd just act cool until the moment was right.
"Whatever you say..."

You walk into the alleyway, there were a few spiderwebs about. But you just moved them away with your hoof. The alleyway was longer than you thought. a little dark too...huh.

Diamond Tiara stepped along a small distance behind you. Rushing you to move faster.

Instead, you stop. A rather large and burly stallion. orange furred,ruffled brown mane, and with a less than sunny disposition stepped forth from the front of the alley and stepped towards the both of you.

"Anon, what's the hold..hrn..hey! who is that?" Diamond said in an annoyed tone

You had no clue, and didn't want to find out.
"...I..don't know. Let's..head back out the way we came huh?"

"What? but we're almost there! Just tell him to move!"

Oh fuck no, the more the guy moved closer, the meaner and burlier he looked. You immediately turned around and began pushing Diamond Tiara the other direction.
"What are you doing?! Don't touch me with your hooves! They are gross!" Diamond barked

You take a quick look back, the pony just stood there. as if he was waiting.
"Listen. I don't know about you. But i'm not going to get wrecked because you want to be bossy. We are going the other"

The other end was blocked as well. This time of a pony with similar colors. but His mane was slicked back, he was taller and skinnier, and had a surly smarmy smile.
He stepped closer to the both of you, eyeing you both "Well well Bedlam, lookit what we got here. ya guys lost or somethin'?"

the other pony, the bigger one, Bedlam then spoke. His speech, unlike the other's quick tongue, was slower and dumber. "heh..heh..ah thank thay are Calamity"

The one known as Calamity had a smile that became nearly evil "yah...I think yer right. Course, we fine stallions are willin to lead you in the right direction for...oh...that entire bag of bits there...whaddya say?"

....fucking....shit. they were thieves.
"You guys will leave us alone if we give it to you?" You ask with caution

Calamity nods "Sure, it'll be as if we were neve-..hrn?"

Diamond Tiara wasn't going to have none of this it seems. Much to your dismay. "Listen here cretin, I'm Diamond Tiara.You know,the daughter of Filthy Rich? If you don't move RIGHT NOW then we are going to have a problem."


Calamity looked down on her with a dark smile "rich guy's father huh?....yeah...that might work out a lot better. How would you like to be a hostage, sweetheart?"

Diamond Tiara didn't like those words, she became even angrier "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT?!"

You had to calm the situation somehow....already things were getting bad.
"Hey! hey! Let's not get hasty. Just take the bag, come on. We're just foals here. You don't want to kidnap foals do you? It'd look pretty bad"

Under your breath you were muttering for Discord to pop out and save the both of you. Shit was looking bleak.

Calamity gave you a gentle smile all of a sudden "You're right kid, it would look bad if we kidnapped some foals. That's why we'll be taking one of you, and you can be the nice one to rush all the way to her daddy and tell him we want...say....a million bits?

Bedlam nodded to that number.


Diamond Tiara had enough of this "That's it, I'm just going to yell and then you'll all be looking at the dungeon walls. Hope you like prison you losers!"

Diamond Tiara took a deep breath to scream. But the moment she tried. She suddenly found herself unable to talk. She then started to panic and cry muffled cries.
You look back and could see a small glow under Bedlam's ruffled mane.....shit...he was a unicorn...

" can pop out any time now..." You whispered worryingly

Calamity held down the now shocked and frightened Diamond Tiara as Bedlam hovered a rope and a large box over to her to tie her up and throw her in.

Calamity then looks at you with a devilish grin "What are ya waitin for kid? Get a move on, We'll be done by the time anypony arrives." can see in Diamond Tiara's eyes that she was scared as fuck. And now you felt the urge to just get out of there. Why should you care? Things could end up ok in the end. You didn't like her. This could be it...
You take a step away from them...and stop. You had told Discord to not do anything extreme because you didn't want her to suffer. Now here you are about to abandon her and leave her alone in a for real situation.

Yeah couldn't do that. The guilt was too great. And Discord wasn't showing up. If you tried to draw attention now, they'd probably silence you too. So that was out. You had to fight......shit...
You turn around and step closer to them. You were scared as shit. But...this was cartoon horse land. All you had to do was distract them enough to the point a deus ex machina happened..right?
" two, let her go right now!"

They both stopped to look at you, Calamity, unamused by you. "What are ya doin' kid? Didn't I tell ya to get a move on?"

"shut the hell up!"
The time for holding back was over, you had to make yourself threatening.
"I'm going to kick the shit out of both of you so goddamn hard that their going to have to put tubes in you just so you can shit and piss!!!"

Calamity snickered "Oh ho...look at this Bedlam, this little colt thinks he's a big stallion like us. Ok kid, come on. I'll have a go at ya"

....shit...shit...that didn't work. They weren't the least bit scared or even shocked that you used curse words.

Calamity stepped up to you. that shit eating grin never leaving his face "Ok kid, let's see how good ya are at playin' hero."

fuck....maybe you should have ran....
You hesitate for a moment. And through that hesitation. Calamity smashes his hoof into your face. sending you into the wall.

......goddammit....t-that hurt...

Ok....ok..things were serious. You get back on your hooves and try just rushing him. theres no way he'd expect you to get up that quickly and bravely rush him. You had determination.

But sadly, he did expect you, the moment you try sending your right hoof into his face. He jumped backwards, turned, and bucked you straight up, turned again and slammed his front hoof onto your back as you fell back down.

Calamity started to mockingly laugh at you "HAHAHA, wow kid, you are the worst fighter I've ever seen. It's like you've only been a pony for a few days or somethin'. were really hurting...for were actually scared,

Calamity looked back at his partner "Bedlam, ain't you done yet?"

Bedlam said, in a low slow tone "..Almost Calamity....just..having trouble...tying...knots"

Calamity rolled his eyes at him "Come on Bedlam, yer a unicorn. Just use yer magic you clod!"

"...oh...right.." Bedlam realized.

But even with his magic, he was having trouble. Diamond Tiara was too terrified to try to escape however.
Calamity walked up to him, you weren't going anywhere so he felt he had the time.
You were hurting bad. "

Ya dumb dumb, look. I'll handle the filly, ya just get this colt to understand the kind of business were in, got it?" Calamity barked at his burly partner

Bedlam nodded, and started to step over to you as Calamity took his place.
....Oh..shit..NO..NO..NO...he was big, beefy, and stupid. He might fucking kill you!
You tried crawling away, but Bedlam pressed his hoof on your tail to prevent you from escaping.

"Should have listened...kid..nothing personal.." Bedlam said as he raised his hoof to slam into you.


In panic and fear, you feel a flash of strength as you raise your hoof as slam it into Bedlam....right onto his nuts.
instantly the giant fell over like a fallen tree. His voice now high pitched and yelping in pain.

you didn't even realize that horses still had balls. You just instinctively kicked them like you would to any other person bigger than you back home.

Fuck yes....fuck yes...he was down...Woo!

In your excitement. You manage to get up. And in doing so, you take cheap shots and slam your hoof multiple times into Bedlam's crotch until he was barely moving. You were still aching, but adrenaline was blasting through you.

"Take that you motherfucker! Yeah. Gotcha! You asshole!"
As you chide and insult him. you feel a tapping on your back.
Oh almost forgot about him.
You turn around, at the ready. letting your new found energy flow through you.

Calamity smirked at you "Pretty cheap kid, I like it. Too bad that means I'm just gonna have to rough ya up even worse. Doesn't matter to me, ya can still get the message out from a hospital."

You tried to get a good eye and angle to hit his nuts. But the alley was too narrow to maneuver in.

"What's wrong kid? Can't get a good angle? Ya know...I'm a generous guy. I don't really want to rough ya up too bad without a better reason. So...I'll give ya a free shot. Or ya can just run away.doesn't matter to me.choose wisely..." could run away.he wasn't gonna let you get a shot at his nuts obviously. Maybe..if you bucked him in the face. One good buck. You've never bucked before.but,any good hit can knock anyone down. Shit should just run away.
But you don't. You growl loudly and jump towards him and turn for a buck.
You manage miss his face and instead hit his chest due to your size… were screwed.

But as you turn, you can see dust coming from the wall. In which you slammed Calamity right into it.


Calamity was coughing from the hit, the wall had a small crater to it.


Calamity looked freaked out as well. "W-w-w-what?! N..ngh...ugh..I'm hurtin...forget this..Bedlam..we gott-gotta get outta here....s-somethin's..wrong with this kid..I..can barely move...C-carry me..."

you were stunned, Calamity was stunned, Diamond Tiara was stunned. Bedlam was still high pitched and rushing to pick his partner up with his magic and ran off with him before you snapped back to reality. did it...You did it somehow....
Diamond Tiara could talk again, and she was a lot more soft spoken. frightened and scared about what could have happened to her. did it. You actually did it..
How in the fuck did you do it?

Chapter 32

View Online

Of course, now your adrenaline rush was over. And with it gone. You felt the pain and aches of the beating you took. It was pretty bad, enough to make you stumble.

" I feel like sh-"

Diamond Tiara calls out to you, she's tied by the ropes. Unable to move "A-Anon! are you ok!?"

Wow..she was actually worried about you? just did pretty much save her life.
You slowly tip and tumble towards her
"Yeah I'm fine. ngh....I told you you should have just given them the money..."

"I-I'm sorry...I didn't know that was going to happen. I didn't think that would happen.."
of course she didn't. Then again, you didn't think you could win in a straight up fight.
You stand over her, your vision was blurring, but you could see the rope wasn't tied too well. You simply grab a loose knot with your teeth and pull. Freeing her.
"...There we go.....good thing these guys weren't very good at tying rope huh?"

Diamond Tiara didn't say anything as she stood. She looked worried for you "A-anon, you look really hurt."

Did you? You were in pain..but...
You fall over
"...ok...I dunno how I look...but ngh..I'm hurting pretty bad.."

Diamond Tiara got really worried for you, she began to panic "A-A-Anon! Are you ok!? Is there anything I can do?! What's wrong?!"

You weren't in the mood to get scared of your own condition. You were pretty sure you weren't going to die. You just got roughed up badly. You were sure you could still stand. But the moment you try, you fall over. You felt so weak, you were then starting to get a little scared.
"...oh geez...umm..Look..stay calm ok? We're near Sugarcube Corner right?"...get some help from anypony there...They'll know what to do.."

Diamond Tiara panicked but complied, and ran as fast as she could out of the alley.
Funny how sudden and immediate danger can change one’s thinking real quick
You were alone now.
You were in pain, and you were wondering how bad you looked. You didn't expect such an assbeating at all while in this world.

"D-dammit Discord....a-anytime now...I'm hurting pretty bad.."
No answer
your vision was blurring more and more.
At least Diamond Tiara didn't just leave you to fry, right? Hopefully she was doing as you said. She looked so scared. As if she never had been in such a situation before. It seemed pretty convenient fact....this whole attack seemed like that.

You fall unconscious as you just realized what may have actually happened.
things go dark...
fucking had to be him...and now you were gonna die. What the hell was he thinking? That had to be him...right?

"Walk into the light..."


"Walk into the light......."

Oh shit....were you dead?...or was Luna somewhere trying to contact you?
You couldn't were covered in darkness.

"...the liiiiggghhttt"

You...saw it. A saw it! tried moving towards it. Whoever was saying this...was your guiding light...

"The.....liiiiiighhhtttt Nonny!"

"Will you stop that?! The doctor said he needs rest! So stop being an idiot!"

"huh? ummm..I'm pretty sure I'm saying light...not "being an idiot" "

The light starts to become bigger, warmer.

"No! What you are doing is stupid! You can't just wake him up with noise. He needs his rest! Can't you see that?! Ugh! Why did you have to be the one to help?!"

"Well...everypony else was stunned and confused. Mr.Cake went to get the proper authorities, Mrs.Cake stayed with her foals, and I was going to go out anyway so you got me. Does that answer your question?"

You wake up, gasping for air as if you had been underwater.
You were in a hospital room, in a bed, Diamond Tiara and Pinkie pie on both sides of you. Diamond Tiara looked shocked when you awoke "-...light"

Pinkie lit up with a smile "See? Told you it'd work. Welcome back Nonny! I hope you weren't planning on going anywhere"

"...u...ugh...w-what happened?...who...Pinkie?..."

Your vision was still blurry, and you still ached. But not as bad as before

"Relax're gonna be ok! Thanks to ole Pinkie Pie here! hey! since you're awake now. Do you want to hear a joke?"

...oh...that was Diamond Tiara too....but she defending you...sorta?...ugh..your head hurt. Especially from her yelling. You turn slightly and move your hooves to your pillow and shove it in your face.

Pinkie shushes Diamond Tiara "Shhhh...don't yell, I think it's hurting him"

Diamond Tiara was now aggravated, angry she was told to be quiet "YOU'RE THE ONE HURTING HIM WITH ALL-"

You had it
You hold your head
"Please stop...I don't even know what's going on..."

Diamond Tiara immediately stopped.and Pinkie grew quiet as well.

You peek over. Your vision becomes clearer as you notice Diamond Tiara looks absolutely upset that you told her to shut up. She looks into your eyes apologetically. "S-sorry....I didn't mean to hurt you.."

You peer over to Pinkie. She wasn't looking too happy herself "...are you ok Nonny?"

You take a moment to collect your thoughts, and fully come to realize you were in the hospital.
"...ugh...I feel like I got hit by a truck..."

Diamond Tiara reacted negatively to that response. She grew even more worried. "oh no...Anon..."
Why did she react like that?

You look over to Pinkie, who suddenly had a book in her hooves, she was looking for something "Truck.....truck...I don't see or even know anything about a truck...oh your brain ok?" She looks at you with a worried pout.

...oh...fuck..that's right...pony world.
"hey girls come on..."
You let out a chuckle, maybe that would help
"'s just an expression I picked up...truck means...uhhh...a really big speeding object."

They let out a collective "oh"

you slowly started to feel better as you regained most of your senses.
" am I exactly?"

"You're in the hospital Nonny. And it's a good thing too, I don't think you were going to get better in that alley!"

Diamond Tiara slapped her hoof onto her own face "I think he knows that"

That's right! You were in the alley. That means Diamond Tiara really did manage it. And Pinkie was the one to save you it seems. And then....oh...oh...right...You really needed to see Discord now...

You turns to the flat of your back and took a huge breath. Trying to relax as you tried to reason as to why, if it was him, why he'd beat the shit out of you so fact...
"...can I get a mirror please?"

"ummm..Nonny....I don't think that's a good idea." Pinkie says with a cringe

"...I agree with her..." Diamond says with a worried look

"Why? bad can it be?"

"Well umm" Pinkie tapped her muzzle "Your eyelid is puffy, you got a black eye. You're bruised in a lot of places, you got scoffed, some cuts, a-"

Diamond Tiara looked at her with vicious eyes and raging anger "DON'T TELL HIM THAT! THAT'S ALMOST THE SAME AS GIVING HIM A MIRROR!"

You grumble...loud noises still hurt.

"oh...s-sorry" Pinkie stopped and frowned

These two in the same room was probably not good for your health. What you found really strange was that Diamond Tiara was here at all. And playing nice....sorta...kinda.

still...they both saved you...maybe..if you were really going to die that is...

"...Thanks...really. I almost thought I was done for.."

"Don't think like that Nonny. That's a really sad thought." Pinkie frowned again. Yeah, a colt talking about dying probably wasn't good for her own mood.

shit..don't be such a downer Anon..
" about that joke Pin-...Ponk?"

Diamond Tiara says nothing, as if following your word to let Pinkie tell a joke.

Pinkie lights up, feeling a joke will personally light up the mood of everyone in the room.
"Ok..I got the perfect one! Everypony ready?"

You nod, and give her a weak smile. Diamond Tiara just sits there. Waiting....she could at least smile...yeesh..

"Ok ok...How did the carpenter beat a whole pirate crew?" Pinkie was besides herself with this one.

Diamond Tiara actually started to think
You did yourself as well.. how does a carpenter beat a bunch of pirates. You look to her and shrug.

Pinkie giggled snorted "HE boarded THEM!"

And with that Diamond Tiara actually started giggling.

You didn't, you got the joke, but. It was too simple a joke for you.

Pinkie seemed hurt you didn't smile or laugh " didn't laugh.."

Even Diamond Tiara seemed pretty worried. She laughed, so why didn't you "A-anon?" had two of were on a bed....and you were in pain...and now making them upset...this would be the worst porno in history.
"S-sorry..I guess i'm still a little too achy to laugh. It was a good joke though.."

And before anything else can be said, a doctor comes into the room. He seemed a little angry "What are you two doing in here? I said this patient needed rest!"

"Really? Because she said it was ok" Pinkie pointed towards Diamond Tiara

"Of course it's ok. Don't you know who I am?" Diamond Tiara chided at the doctor.

"I don't care who you are. If you aren't immediately related to this patient then I'm going to have to have you leave. He is in need of his rest!" The doctor barked back.

"Y-yeah?..Well...I'M HIS SISTER!" Diamond Tiara yelled at the top of her lungs.

The hell? ok...something was up. Diamond Tiara seemed awfully keen in wanting to stay with you. You thought she hated you.

"Huh? I thought y-" Before Pinkie couldn’t finish her sentence. You interrupt her.

"u-uhh Ponk...can you see if you can find....uhmm. Something? I need to talk with my sister" couldn't have her go look for Discord. But "Something" had to work. You just hoped she wouldn't question what that something is.

"Discord? Okie Dokie Loki!" Pinkie saluted

" know he's-"

"Your Dad? Yup! Twilight told me! But don't worry, I gotcha and I understand. Have a good chat with your sister" She winked at you. Ugh, yeah. Why did you even find that surprising? Pinkie always aims to please. And you do remember Twilight was waiting for her as well.

The doctor looked at Diamond Tiara and then you for a moment. being a unicorn doctor, he hovered your chart and some other papers up to where he can see it. He didn't see anything written down for family, were a colt. So you had to have some. That’s what he seemed to think anyway "....alright...But don't be too long. He still needs his rest."

"I won't...hmph.." Diamond Tiara harumphed at the doctor. She didn't like being told what to do.

Pinkie bid you a happy farewell. You wondered if she could even find him. But you did want to definitely talk to him. The least he could do is fucking heal you. But first thing's first.

"u-ummm...Doctor...c-can I have some private time with my sister? Please...I just want to let her know I'll be alright."

The doctor sighed "You took a serious beating ..are you sure you're up to this?"

You nod
"Just for a bit"

"That's all I can give you. But then you need to lie down and get a little more sleep. We ar...wait.." The doctor then realized something "Did you say your father was Discord?"

You nod
" that a problem?"

The doctor held his breath for a moment and turned to hide his fright. " no...umm. We just hope Miss Pinkie can find him for you..that's all...umm..have a good chat" figured he was supposed to contact colts and fillies parents. He probably was fucking terrified of having to talk with Discord at all.

But he left, and you finally had some alone time with Diamond Tiara. You were too curious to her change.
You just stared at her, as she stared at you.
You actually couldn't think of anything to start with.
But she did, the next moment after the doctor left. She grasped onto you and cried.

"A-Anon! Anon! You saved me!"

Oh god..OH GOD....THAT HURTS! it was like a lightning jolt!

" didn't have to...y-you were so brave...I-I thought...because of things I have just left me...b-but...Anooon!"

What the fuck was this noise?! and HOLY CRRAAAPP STOOOPPPPPPP!!!
You were doing your best not to yelp and cry out. But holy fuck. She was just nuzzling and cuddling into you like a damn puppy. What in the fuck...

She could hear your muffled yelps and cries of pain and looked at your face. It looked like someone had just stuck a dagger in you. She gasped and backed off. Apologizing profusely.
"A-Anon..I'm sorry! I..I forgot you were still in pain..I...please don't get mad...please"

oh god...the was back..But also you began to get it. She was just ACTUALLY being thankful for saving would have wondered how long that would last.
You take a moment to componse yourself. If only to get her to calm down about you being in pain.
"I-It's fine..s-see?"
You grit your teeth to a distorted smile
"..see..I-I'm good.."

Diamond Tiara wasn't convinced, and it was apparent she felt horrible about something. You tried thinking for a time in the show if she ever had to deal with anything like this. nothing sprung up.
" there anything I can do to help you feel better?..I..I didn't mean to hurt you"

You took steady breaths, trying to ease the pain. Damn...should have at least told the doctor you were in pain, probably could have gotten some pills or something. They have those in Equestria, right?
"It's fine...Diamond..though it's weird"

Diamond Tiara tilted her head slightly, confused, wiping some of her tears away "W-what's weird?"

You chuckle weakly
"You're worried about me, you're being nice....well..sorta. And you actually got somepony to save me. I guess it's weird to me."

"W-what do you mean? totally stuck your neck out for me. Instead of leaving me. I-I thought you...would just run off when that pony said you almost...looked like you were...but you didn't. You saved fought them was amazing.."
she was capable of being thankful. Hell, she was having trouble speaking from being choked up from your actions.

"eh,It was just something I felt I had to do. Don't look too into it..."

"B-but...if it was...any other pony...anypony I was trying to blackmail or extort...they...they probably would have left didn't"

That wasn't true.You knew the CMC,being moralistic when things get extreme, would have probably done the same thing.

"Nah.there's other ponies out there that would have done the same thing. Some of us aren't so scummy.."

Diamond Tiara suddenly shifted her expression to sad and worried. To extremely hurt. "..y..y-you think I'm scummy?..A-am..I really that bad?" nooooo......that reaction...oh god no. Please no...She didn't...please god no...not her..
"u..uhh..I didn't mean it like that. D-diamond..I got Pinkie to come get me..s-so we're even..that makes you not scummy."

Tears started to flow from her eyes....oh these signs were not good. Why didn't you notice it earlier? "...but I did scummy things...I-I just didn't want to seem inferior...I..always want to be the best. Because I always least...I..I know the pictures?"

You knew where this one was heading.
"I..Don't have them...Silver Spoon lost them...and I got angry. I yelled at her for being stupid. I actually had another reason to go to Sugarcube Corner" she's being forthcoming.
"What..was it?"
..did you even want to know?

Diamond Tiara hesitated, she moved her tail to her hooves and began to stroke it. "I was going to wait for the Stupi-...Cutie Mark Crusaders to show up...and make them think we we’re in love...I wanted them to see I could take anything from them...but now...I think...umm"

Diamond Tiara started to blush deeply "..I think you took something from me...instead..."

Oh knew it wasn't her virginity. But the stink of cheese was starting to fill the room.
You stop her from finishing

"Y-yes Anon?"

She looks at you intently, deeply...lovingly. OH GOD NO, NOT HER! NOT HER PLEASE!
"I-I better get some rest. I'm feeling achy....c-can you send in the doctor? I just need some medicine to help me sleep"

She didn't protest, but she seemed melancholic from not being able to finish. "O-oh..yeah..of course...I-I'll see you later then..I..I need to see Daddy anyway...and tell him what happened."

You nod.and bid her a big farewell.
She hesitated on leaving, looking at you with one lonesome sad stare before finally vacating.
oh please. Let you be wrong. Don’t let her be in love with you.
After a moment, the doctor steps into the room. But something seems different about him.
"How are you Anon? Feeling better I hope"

You shake your head
"N-no...Can I get some pills or something..I feel queezy right now.."

The doctor chuckled, his voice slowly changing to something familiar "ya think yer queezy now, wait till I'm done with ya.."

The voice was that of Calamity.But, looking at the doctor and hearing his voice shift like that. You just groan heavily.
"Come off it Discord. I know it's you...geez. I'm in a fucking hospital and you still pull this shit on me. Never mind the fact you were the one who got me sent here in the first place...christ..."

Calamity immediately shapeshifted into Draconequus form. It was indeed Discord "Well shoot, I hadn't thought you figured it out yet."

You groaned heavily
"I did. Pretty much right after you pummeled me. Mind explaining yourself? Because I dunno if you know. But you nearly killed me...just saying"

You tried to keep calm, not for his sake, but so you wouldn't jump out of bed and somehow wring his neck with your hooves. But internally, you were angry.

"Oh you weren't in any danger of death Anon, My hooves were laden with a little magic to drain you. Truth be told I thought I would have had made off with that filly if you hadn't have stopped me. But I think things worked out much better now."

Drain magic? Wait. You stopped him?
"woah woah what? How the hell?...H-How did I stop you?"

Discord clears his throat, and then hesitates, he didn't seem to keen on saying it "Well. you remember how there were essentially two of me, correct?"

You nod

"Wellll...the one known as Bedlam was actually my lower part of my body given physical form. You know. It seemed like a funny idea at the time. Anyway,when you ahrm..hit him in a certain area, you had disrupted my magic. I never EVER thought anypony would take such a cheap shot….multiple times. And so embarrassingly enough, the half with my brains got extremely weak without me even noticing. But still, I managed to make it quite a convincing performance with only a little bit of improv."

You laugh, then groan from the pain, then laugh again.
"Are you serious? You legitimately lost to me?! Because I attacked your nuts?! HAHAHAHA..Ow...ha...ow....ngh"

Discord turned away from you, crossing his arms, flustered "That's not funny Anon, I'm not usually so vulnerable. And besides, who taught you how to fight so dirty? It wasn't me, no siree."

You still laugh, or manage to keep it at a light chuckle.
"O-ok Discord, I'm sorry. It's just hilarious wait. So if I was around in season 2, I could have saved the entire world with a swift kick in the nuts..oh man. I'd become such a hero that ponies from all around would come to learn the Anon Arts of nut cracking. nyahaha...haha...heh.."

Discord turns to face you, pointing at you to indicate caution "Careful Anon, I only made myself vulnerable. If I was actually fighting you, you'd be drinking garbage, twice your size, while slowly turning into a house"

You calm yourself, but you knew that was an empty threat
"Alright alright..."

You felt better emotionally now. Knowing you defeated the spirit of chaos with a swift kick to his nuts.
"'s up? I'm just going to assume right now that you didn't come here just to check up on me. Since you already knew I'd be ok."

Discord nodded "Perceptive, Well,I've come to share with you the news on the results of today's happening. It's a double whammy! One I'm sure you'll be happy to hear."

" actually care if I'm happy?"

"Now you come off it Anon. I don't hate you. I'm doing this for our mutual benefit at this point. And how mutual it is."

" what is it?"

"Well first, word has begun to spread that a young colt..adopted by the fabulous Discord...had defended a high profile filly from a couple of hooligans from Manehatten. What this means is that I think I may have accomplished my goal at shifting ponies views about me. For the most part anyway. I'm sure I can't sway everypony, but they'll see Fluttershy and either be amazed that she is my friend and leave her alone, orrrrr they'll know to keep their mouth shut if they have any ill will since I raised such a good son in such a short time."

You smile at that. That sounded good so far. And you weren't sure how accurate that was. But, it was good, and the fact Discord still stuck to that story meant it had to be true.
"That’s pretty awesome, so everything is gonna be ok then. So then, what’s that other thing?"

"Well...I also came to realize....after looking at your face. That I may have overdone some of my blows to you. So..I suppose...I guess...that perhaps...I could take one for the team and meet with Mr.Rich myself instead of leaving you to deal with it. And discuss with him taking off the punishment. I'm sure he'd be happy to oblige now that this has all resolved itself. I'll also have to go to Twilight and offer my services to round up the hooligans and deal with them."

that sounded good after he left you alone with him before. But you were sure Filthy Rich would probably still want an audience with the one who saved his daughter, so you had to be ready for that. You also had to hope you were wrong about how Diamond felt, or that at least it was a spur of the moment thing; The thought of her loving you is scary indeed. but what about the hooligans thing? That didn’t make sense at all.
"...uhh… Discord? you were those hooligans."

"And? Everypony else doesn't know that. I'll offer my services, go do whatever, and then return to Twilight and tell her I dealt with it my own way. She'll probably get somewhat annoyed with some "They needed to be brought to justice properly" nonsense, but she should understand the rage of an upset father.”

And now you felt a little bothered. A lie compounded on yet another big lie, after getting pummeled like this. It was starting to wear on you.
"...Discord...Can I talk to you about something...I mean seriously about something...with you being serious as possible?"


"Look....all these lies. They are really piling on and it's making me feel a little...on edge. I don't like it. I don't mind the father son thing so much. I understand that was instrumental to the whole plan. I can dig that. And I...don't even mind having to start my life over. But I feel like everything is on rails and I hate all these major lies. You know what I'm saying?"

Discord narrowed his eyes, pondered, and curled his beard "...I think I do...and you know what. You might be right. Fluttershy does tell me lying is a very bad thing. Which is why I moved on to white lies, totally different. But I suppose all the lies we told aren't all white, are they?"

Oh thank god, he was getting it
"Yeah...So. After all this is done with. Can we just, I dunno. Be a sorta normal Son and Father, Friends, and I guess roommates since I'm staying at your place? and keep the lying to a bare minimum?"

"....I're going to have some trouble transitioning from your cutesy wutesy "Miss and Mister" attitude you've shown to a few ponies, you know that right?"

You shrug
"Eh...ponies change, and I've barely spoken to them. And Applebloom and her friends, you know, who are my age..heh..They already know how I act really. It'll be fine. Though, wait. you mentioned when I hit your..ahrm...privates. That your magic sort of switched off?"

Discord nodded "Yes. Is that an important detail? Because I won't be letting you do that again"

"...well, I don't want to do it again..but..."
You look at your hooves
"Shouldn't I have turned back into a human or something? Or did that spell Twilight cast on me...what was up with all that anyway?"

Discord sighed and rubbed his temples "Anon, Anon. Didn't you listen to my lesson on dimensions?"

"Yeah....I don't see what that has anything to do with it though.."

"Ugh, of course not with that feeble human mind of yours, It's actually VERY simple. I used my magic on you while in your world to give you your adorable little face lift. Then...a dimension over, I took you through the mirror. You've seen what that mirror does. one end human, the other, pony. When I took you through it while you were still unconscious. You became a pony, and my magic grafted into you and became a natural force. So,in short,you are an actual little pony." that how it works...wait..
"'m actually an earth pony when I go through the mirror?"

Discord nods

".....dammit...great! I had to be the most boring species of pony...that bites.."

"Oh it's not so bad, you still have me to spice things up." Discord gives you a toothy grin

whatever...well...if you were a natural pony due to that. Then maybe that meant you could actually get a Cutie Mark. hmmmm...wonder what'd it'd be?
"..soo...uhh...what now?"

"Now? you go night night and get some rest. Doctor's orders. I still have things to do, such as get found by Pinkie Pie so I can hear the dreadful news about you"

ugh...he was just going to knock you out. You could feel it.
"...ok ok, just let me get comfy first."
You scootch into your thin blanket, and gently rest your head on the pillow, being careful not to make any sudden movements to cause you pain.
" whatever you're gonna do...I'm ready"

Discord raises his talons "I'll tell you this, I'm not doing this to be a jerk...for once. It's just I do a terrible job at actually healing ponies without causing....some spectacular effects.but putting them to sleep is easy. It's all part of being a Spirit of Chaos, you understand."

...well...that sounded about right. And you were going to get some rest. That was good. You needed to sort out this shit later when you weren’t suffering in pain.
"...and after all this, we can just go to the whole, barely lying thing?"

"After everything is handled, we can. Have a pleasant sleep Anon. I'll be back soon."
and with a snap of his talons, things went dark once more.

Chapter 33

View Online

You wake up sometime later...or a lot of time later...You weren't sure.

You open your eyes, and are met with a very soft moonlight seeping through the room window. It had to be night.
You yawn, and slowly sit up. You were feeling a lot better. just mildly irritating aches.
You look about the room. You can see a yellow and pink figure sleeping on a bench near the door. It was Fluttershy.
"....huh...wonder why she's here?"

You carefully get off the bed, and go to observe her. You could hear her soft, gentle breathing as you drew near.
You say nothing, you just stare at her figure. Thinking..
You tilt your head to the side towards her ass, her tail covering the very center.
You reach your front hoof to her tail to move it.
You begin to sweat
You stop, you don't even move her tail, and move your hoof back to the ground as you grumble to yourself.
"..mnngrr..can't do it. ...agh..Why couldn't she be a pony I don't care about?....ugh..whatever.."

With that mission failed. You look around for a mirror. You find a full body mirror on another side of the room. You take a look
You noticed you were in a petite hospital gown. Your mane was rustled, and it looks like you didn't have any swelling anymore. You were bruised in a few spots and you had a black eye.
"...ugh..there it is...mnnn"
You smile at the mirror
"...yeah...I still look good. Gotta hand it to Discord, he did a really good job with this body.I'd fuck me right now if I could.."
You half expect your mirror image to come out of the mirror to do just that. But no dice.
"...yeah fine..."
You quietly walk towards the door, and open it, taking a dare to look what's past it.
Hallways, leading to different rooms. Seems yours was "34"
"...hmm...might not be a good idea to leave..."
You close the door. And look back at Fluttershy.
She was so cute.
Well,you had nothing better to do...
You tried climbing the bench to snuggle with Fluttershy. But the moment you got on to enter a snuggle position on her side. You'd just plop off with how narrow it was.
you yelp in pain from the fall.
"ergh...course...I thought I was small enough.."


OH shit....did she wake up?
You look up, and see a tired Fluttershy looking down at you from the bench

She looks at you with tired confusion "Anon, what are you doing out of bed?"

"U-ummm...I kinda woke up and couldn't sleep...and stuff..ngh"
You lay your body to it's side. you wince, the floor was pretty hard.

"Anon..I...umm. I don't think you're going to get a better sleep on the floor. It's also very dirty..." knew...she probably didn't notice you had fallen
You carefully get up and hop back into bed, do a 360 like a cat and lay on your belly, facing Fluttershy.
"'re right..the bed is better...Sorry to wake you Aunt Fluttershy"

Fluttershy gives you a gentle, tired smile "That's alright Anon" Fluttershy yawns "I don't think you did anything worth apologizing for. How are you feeling?

"I guess I'm ok...but umm...Aunt Fluttershy, why are you here?"

"oh..well..Discord asked me to keep an eye on you until he got back. Him and Rainbow Dash and a division of the Wonderbolts are out looking for those meanies who hurt you."

Oh geez...even the Wonderbolts?
"..woah...all that because I got hurt?"

" was that and the fact they are foalnappers. Twilight said she wouldn't tolerate them being at large. Discord was the first to volunteer to help with their capture. I thought that was very considerate..."

oh boy, if only she knew. Though, if Discord is out with a group. Then one had to wonder how he'd pull off the end of his ruse.
"yeah...but I managed to pulverize them! haha!"
You chuckle, you knew what you meant, you little ball smasher you.

Fluttershy tapped her hooves together nervously "yes should never have to fight. But I know you had to, they had your friend and I just can't believe something like this happened...I can't believe there'd be foalnappers here in Ponyville that just hurt children like that.." She frowns "...nopony, no matter what, should have to be put in that situation..."

you cringe...You knew the truth. But Discord did say the good he wanted came from this. You had to shift the conversation.
"U-ummm...Well..umm..I mean it'll be ok. Dad will get em!..and..Aunt Fluttershy, can we talk about Dad?"

mentioning him as Dad, and thinking of the situation. You wanted to shift the conversation towards Discord, and see what Fluttershy thought about him. since you and her were alone. You think it would be a good time to find out what she thinks. Her side of the story.

"Oh..ok." Fluttershy nods, she'd rather herself not talk or think about the situation "What do you want to talk about?"

"Well...what do you think of him?"

Fluttershy smiles "Oh, well. I think your father is wonderful....Though he can be mean at times...and sometimes he does mean pranks...and sometimes he goes too far...and..he does tend to lie a lot..."

sounds about right. hrmm..maybe you should prod at that last one.

"What do you mean by lie a lot?"

"W-well...I don't want you to think any less of him, Anon. But your father has an issue with lying.. But that doesn't make him bad. He's just. He’s still learning"

"Still learning?....umm..Aunt Fluttershy. What do you mean by that?"

"Well...Anon..your father. He used to be alone all his life too...he always did mean and thoughtless things because that's what he thought he should do.But I knew there had to be more than that. I managed to befriend your father and show him there's more to life than being a big meanie. And umm..he's made a few mistakes along the way. But he always tries to make things better, and he's always willing to learn. I know sometimes he may seem a bit shifty, but he isn't evil. In fact....seeing him as a father. and knowing you are happy with him shows me just how much he has improved over time. And now he's actually working together to put those two criminals to justice and...oh dear!” She realized something, and began to worry “...I hope he doesn't get hurt..."

ha...he won't. Now.,you had to ask her about Discord's "Truth". You were curious to how "True" it was

"Aunt other bad about you and Dad?"

Fluttershy looks down with a sad frown "sometimes..I ignore it a lot. But sometimes they just look at me funny whenever I'm around your father. And sometimes...your father overreacts if he hears something said about me...I have to keep him from doing anything bad. I don't want him to get in trouble. Discord...he gets...dangerous sometimes whenever he gets mad or jealous. But that's why I'm here... to help him through it and to help him better himself."

Right..jealous as well...Like when he got pissed at Treehugger. Well, that wouldn't help his reputation if he's acting out too. He failed to mention that part. Then again, you should have guessed it. It seems his reasoning was mostly legit. You just had to hope things would get better now like he predicts.

However, now was the time for one last question
"Aunt Fluttershy...can I ask you a private question?"

Fluttershy looked confused...she couldn't think of what you meant by "private"
"I-I suppose so...what is it Anon?"

"Do Dad? Like love love? like how a daddy and a mommy love?"

Fluttershy shook her head "He's one of my bestest friends...but..I don't like him in that way Anon.."

Ouch...then again. You wondered what Discord thought. It could be anything. But you knew he deeply cared about her. It could be a sibling type of love.

"oh...umm..thank you Aunt Fluttershy..Dad is pretty lucky to have a friend like you"
He really was

Fluttershy gave you a serene sunny smile "It's not luck Anon. It's the magic of friendship!" felt your stomach churn a little from that, while at the same time feeling a "hnnnngg" from how cute that sounded. An achy feeling of cute and cheesey feelings.
You then were starting to feel relaxed and tired.

Fluttershy yawned, then giggled "I guess we are both getting sleepy you want to call it a night, Anon?"

you couldn't think of anything else to ask.
"..yeah...but.." had to at least have this....You had to have her affections. The way she was, she already felt like a surrogate mother with the fact she was here just to keep an eye on you.
"A-aunt Fluttershy...c-can I ask a question?"
come on Anon, be braver. you weren't even going to ask for anything lewd! agh, you still felt a little bad about that. That was probably why you were stuttering.

She nods

" come to bed with me....I feel a little lonely..." You say with a pout as your ears droop adorably

Fluttershy doesn't even hesitate a nod. She doesn't even say anything that would embarrass you. "Alright, if it will help you sleep Anon.I don't want you to feel lonely."

Fluttershy carefully hopped onto your bed and laid on her belly as she gently placed her muzzle on the pillow and opened her wing to you. "Here Anon, you can use my wing as a blanket" was happening......cudddlllllesss..
You dreamily scootch next to her and rub to her side until you were comfy. She was so warm...sooo...warm. You could feel fuzzy and relaxing feelings go through you, the warmest and fuzziest of feelings.
But it only got better. Fluttershy gently wrapped her wing over you like a blanket as she turned just enough to her side to bring you closer with her hooves to her chest and tummy. affectionately nuzzle your head into her chest.
Fluttershy giggles as she hugs onto you "Aww Anon. Are you alright? Are you comfy?”

this was fine. You could already feel the most comfortable and gentle pull of sleep come upon you.You wanted this. You missed the feeling of someone who cared about you. Just lovingly holding you to keep the darkness of life away.

"...I like cuddling...Y-you're the best cuddler...ev-eve..."

You can't even finish your childish sentence as you drift off to sleep. the maternal abilities of Fluttershy seem to be a weakness to you.

"Goodnight Anon, please have pleasant dreams.." Fluttershy says in her softest voice before closing her eyes “I’m so glad you’re alright. I was so worried…”. She kept those words to herself the entire time she was talking with you. She didn’t want you to get worried that she was worried about you. As she drifted to sleep, she hoped everything would be ok tomorrow.

Chapter 34

View Online

It is morning.
You wake up, a smile still on your face as you give a big yawn.
As you stretch, you notice you are no longer under Fluttershy's wing. in fact, you are alone in the room.
"...she must have left..."
You don't feel achy at all anymore. Praise be to horse medicine. Probably still had that black eye though.
Wary of your status anyway, you carefully get out of the bed and look out the window. What a beautiful morning it was in Equestria. The sun was shining and the sky was a clear blue, non polluted thing of beauty. It helped you compose your thoughts.
"Let's see.Discord is either done with what he is doing or he's still leading them through that wild goose chase...ummm...I wonder where Fluttershy went off...oh wait..."

You remember what you last said to her, and then slam your hoof to your face.
"I like cuddling. I like cuddling?! what the fuck is wrong with me?...ugh..I shouldn't be that much of wuss....Well, nah. I'm still great. Kicked Discord's ass,'s see.."
you walk over to the door, you can see your saddlebag had been placed beside it.
You can hear talking from the other side.
You open the door slightly. huh, there was Fluttershy. Talking with the doctor and signing some forms. And....hrn...Applebloom was beside her...awwww..probably came to visit. That warmed your heart.

Now that there was more light in the room, you took a more thorough look around.
Aha! A water cooler! Just what you needed. You were parched.
You look at the cups hanging from the side and shrug to yourself.
You don't need no cups...bottoms up
You lower your head and use your hoof to pull down the lever, and start drinking from the spout.
After having your fill, you wipe your mouth and take a breath.
You walked towards the mirror to look at your black eye. Yeah,still there. But it looked a smidgen better.

Just then, you can hear the door open behind you. It was the doctor. You quickly jump back into bed so you wouldn’t have to hear any complaining.
Finally, the door is opened and the doctor steps in with a happy grin.
"Mr.Anon, I have good news for you! We are releasing you today."

"Oh that's great doc!" You say with an adorable smile. wanted out of here. You weren't getting much done.

"We'll be releasing you in the care of your aunt. She'll be waiting outside the door for you. Please, don't be in a hurry to visit us again" The doctor chuckled to himself,

" don't have to sign anything? No release papers?"

The doctor shook his head "No no, that's for adults. Now you run along. We do need this room for another patient. You have a pleasant day."

You nod
"Thank you,you too"

You grab your saddlebag and wrap it around your back and then head outside the door where the mare and filly awaits. Hrn, You thought Diamond Tiara would have been waiting for you too. Unless they shooed her away after finding out she wasn't related.

"Anon! yer ok!" Applebloom shouted as she rushed up to hug you. give her a hug back, you see Fluttershy smiling at the cute moment.

"Heya Applebloom, didn't expect to see you here." You say as you return the hug

"Well of course ahm here Anon! When ah heard our newest Crusader got in a huge tussle, I ran right over....then ah got kicked out....then ah came back this mornin'. Luckily Fluttershy was here or they may have not let me see you"

geez, this hospital has some crazy family policy. or maybe it was just for the child's benefit. whatever. it's good.

"huh...I would have thought Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle would be here too"

Applebloom shook her head "Nah, it's still mornin'. probably still sleeping. Ahm a farm filly Anon, I'm always awake this early."
Right, that makes sense.

Fluttershy stepped up to you, greeting you with that heart melting smile she has. "How are you feeling this morning Anon? The doctor said you made a full recovery."

You gave a small hop and a buck to show you were all better "Feeling perfectly fine! see?"

"cept fer that black eye ya got. Anon, how rough was them varmints?"

"Pretty tough, but.."
You chuckle arrogantly
"No match for me, I sent them packing. "

"Wow, yeah I guess you must have. Ah heard you even saved Diamond Tiara......ummm"
Applebloom looked like she wanted to say more, but kept her mouth shut. Probably wanted to say something mean. But wouldn't due to Fluttershy being present.
Yup, I did that too. I'm pretty great." You say with a cocky self serving grin

"mmnn" Fluttershy chimed in "Anon, please remember that fighting is dangerous. I know you're happy about winning. But you did get seriously hurt. If something like this ever happens again.....and I really really really hope it doesn't...try to find a way to run away and make sure everypony gets out safe,ok?"

...ugh...come on...

You look over to Fluttershy, she awaited your answer with an expression that filled you with guilt should you happen to say no. It made you not want to give a cocky answer.
"....alright...I will Aunt Fluttershy.."

Fluttershy let's out a sigh of relief as she comes up and gives you a gentle hug.

"Aunt Fluttershy?" Applebloom gave a light giggle "Wow Anon, yer making friends and family real quick. I'm happy for ya"

"Yeah...Ponyville is a really nice place. Much nicer than ya know...the orphanage."

"Ah bet.Hey! are ya gonna be coming to school anytime soon?"


You had forgotten about that, but Fluttershy answers for you.
"Oh, Anon will be in your class soon Applebloom. But after such a scary ordeal, I think he's going to need a little more rest first"

"Yahooo! Ah can't wait!" Applebloom hopped around with glee

God this place. Everyone was so damn happy go lucky for the most part. You wanted to ask about Discord. But you knew what was up, was probably milking that search for all it's worth. You felt bad for everyone involved in that fiasco.
Although, this wasn't so bad. You got to be with Fluttershy for as long as that was going on.

"Anon, you must be really hungry. Come on, let's go home and get you something to eat"
The way Fluttershy said that, just calling it home despite it being her cottage and not Discord's house. How she cares enough to worry about your health. ugh...made you sad she couldn't be your mom.

"Alright, I'm pretty hungry actually.Thanks Aunt Fluttershy!"

"Awww, no need to thank me Anon. We’re family now. I just want to make sure you’re happy and healthy” Fluttershy says with a sweet smile

Yeah, she really would have made the perfect mom. Goddamn Discord, why ya gotta be so against it? Just fucking ask her!

you three started to make for the exit and towards the cottage, and as you did Applebloom started hopping about "Oh! Oh! After he’s done eatin’. Can Anon come to the clubhouse so we can wait on the girls and then try to get our Cutie Marks?"

"Applebloom. I can't allow it. Anon just got out of the hospital, he may still need some rest. What if he were to get hurt again?"

"Aww shucks Fluttershy, It wasn't gonna be anything dangerous. I thought we'd just do some small stuff." Applebloom felt ashamed for trying to rush things. “sorry…”

ugh...that look of disappointment on the adorable filly's face....hnnnnnngggg.
"Ahm..I don't mind Aunt Fluttershy."

Fluttershy shook her head "I'm sorry Anon, but no. What if something happens? those two criminals are still out there....actually...Applebloom, you shouldn't really be out and about yourself."

"Ahh, ya don't have to worry about me Fluttershy, as ah said...I'm a farm filly. I'd show those criminals a thing or two if they came and messed with me. Ah might even get mah cutie mark if ah did!" Applebloom showed a face of determination as she gave a few bucks in the air.

"I'd rather you wouldn't. Come on, you can stay with me and Anon at the cottage. I'm sure Anon would love the company" Fluttershy said to Applebloom. After everything that happened. She’d rather everyone just stay safe and sound in their homes rather than out where they can still be nabbed.

That could be interesting though. Not as good as it could be with all three CMC. But still...

"That doesn't sound bad, maybe we can try to get our Cutie Marks there?"

Applebloom shook her head "nah, without express permission from other members, we can't just go and get cutie marks on our lonesome...but we can plan a few ways to get some! Ah really want to hear whatever idea ya might have Anon."

...oh no she didn't. You'd have to think up some family friendly shit along the way. Because the way your mind thinks. Whatever idea you’d have isn’t exactly safe for kids.

Chapter 35

View Online

The three of you make your way to the cottage from the hospital.
It feels a little weird not starting off from wherever Discord plops you off. But it wasn't unwelcome, with him busy. You could have a little "you" time and see how Equestria is without him fucking with you.

as you three walk through the town, you can hear a very familiar, very proper sounding, voice call for Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy, Darling, over here!"
It was Rarity, calling Fluttershy over, probably to talk...OH SHIT WAIT..IT'S RARITY! wait...why were you worried? You touched that dress like forever ago. She probably forgot about it.

"Oh, good morning Rarity." Fluttershy walked over to her beckoning friend "are you still looking for replacements for that dress some mysterious pony ruined?"

....ohhh.....guess she didn't forget...or at least Fluttershy didn't..

Rarity shook her head "Oh not today dear. Today I am roaming the streets of Ponyville. Doing my part in keeping these streets safe from those filthy degenerates that DARE sully our town's livelihood ."

Oh wow...that was pretty neat. You didn't think she'd take an active role in this whole thing. Still. Discord's ruse was getting out of hand. You hoped this would be settled...competently.

Fluttershy was amazed by Rarity's bravery "Wow Rarity, that's very brave and generous of you to use your time like this. I know how much that dress meant to you"

"Well Fluttershy, when barbaric vandals are about trying to foalnap helpless youths, then I, Rarity will not hesitate to step into the fray. Remember dear, I have a sister too...and I don't know what'd I'd do if I ever lost her."
She's pretty serious about
"Speaking of family, I noticed you have little Applebloom and a colt I'm not familiar with."

Applebloom waved her hoof "Heya Rarity!"

Rarity waved back "Hello Applebloom" Rarity then looked to you "Fluttershy, who is this little gent....OH MY!"

...what...what?! why is she...OH SHIT. DOES SHE KNOW?!
You look left and right in a growing panic.
"U-umm..w-what?..i-is there something on my face?"

"Indeed there is! you poor dear!" Rarity moved close to you to examine your face, she was horrified. "What ruffian would do such harm to such a gentle looking colt?"

Gentle looking...ugh...did you look like a wimp? Cute yes. But a wimp?!
" mean my black eye? It's alright. It doesn't hurt too bad, I got it when I fought off these two guys"
It really didn't hurt. It was just a black eye. yeesh, ponies overreact to every little thing.

"Two “guys?" “ Rarity only took a moment to figure it out, then she looked to Fluttershy "Fluttershy, is this the very colt who managed to fend off those villains and save his love's life? Anon I believe his name is."

you we- wait a minute..WAIT A MINUTE...LOVE?!
"Love?! what?!"

Even Applebloom reacted negatively upon hearing that "W-what?! Anon in love..with-....yuck..."

Rarity was confused by the reactions "What? I happen to think it's romantic and amazing. A young colt, reinvigorated with bravery upon hearing the cries of his young love. He manages to fight off two horrific monsters. Though it may seem like certain doom, the young colt achieves victory and fights off the villains. He takes his princess back from those heathens and returns to the castle, where he and his lo-"

Suddenly Fluttershy clears her throat "Ahhrmm ahhrmmm...umm...R-rarity, I don't think that's appropriate for them to hear"

Rarity blushes in embarrassment "Ah right, yes, my apologies. I suppose I got a little carried away. But it is an amazing story" Rarity looks to you "How in Equestria did you manage to fight them off?"

"...oh-...uhhh..I uhh..I kicked one of them in their uhh...lower regions..and uhh..I hit the other guy as hard as I could."
That was the truth.

Rarity seems unsure of what to think of that "well...I umm..I suppose that still makes for a valiant story. And yet, there is still the matter of the damage they caused"
Rarity looks directly at your black eye "I cannot let this blemish on your face persist. I know it will eventually go away on it's own. But for the sake of appearances, I will work my magic to make it disappear"
As Rarity said that, you noticed she had saddlebags at her right side. Her horn began to glow as various instruments of fashion and beauty began to fly out. get it. ha, she's just going to mask it up. And here you thought you'd have to be worried. Again, superior human logic dictates not to worry about this. She’s a professional.
"You're going to mask it up?"

Rarity nodded "Indeed, what a smart little gentecolt you are. You know, most colts would find this very frightening."

You chuckle lightly
"I dunno why, they probably just think it's all girly and get overwhelmed by all those little brushes and polishes."

Rarity smiles at you, she likes the way you speak "How true!" Rarity chuckles as she looks over what she brought out "and perceptive"

You smirk
"I guess you can just say that I look at the world a little more realistically. I like to think I have the mind of an adult"

"Ahhh, you don't want to think like that too much Anon, before you know it you will grow up and wish you were young again" Rarity chuckled

HAHa...ha...except your wish came true...sorta

Rarity brings a few items towards your eye and shifts her view for precise aim. "I need you to hold still now Anon. Eyes closed please"

You do, it was an easy enough instruction. You had nothing to fear.

Rarity immediately and carefully started putting on various blemish covering creams and soft brushes around your injured eye. Every stroke deliberate. It didn't feel half bad. Rarity was an expert. You didn't even feel a single sting of pain.
"And viola! it is done!" Rarity states as she steps backwards to show off your face

you couldn't see yourself, so you turn to Fluttershy and Applebloom
"How do I look?"

"Woah! Wow! it looks like nopony laid a single hoof on ya Anon! Ya look like a million bits!" Applebloom was impressed

"Wow Rarity, it's perfect. It's as if it was never there" Commented Fluttershy

Rarity giggled "Well of course, No matter where I am or who it is. I always do the best possible makeover" She magically pulled out a mirror and hovered it over to you "Have a look Anon, and tell me what you think"

Upon looking at the mirror, you couldn't help but feel amazed at her work. It's as if it was never there. It blended perfectly with your fur. These cartoon horses don't think any human could have done this well.....maybe.

"Aunt Fluttershy was right. Thanks Rarity...that's really nice of you to do this for me"
You were genuinely thankful. She didn't have to do this.

"My pleasure Anon. And looking at you now, I can tell you are going to break many a filly's heart.Tell me, you aren't going after Applebloom are you?"


you are taken aback, you didn't expect her to even suggest such a thing.

Applebloom is taken aback as well, Her and you? You both didn't even fully know each other that well. "NOPE! ME AND ANON ARE JUST FRIENDS! AH DON'T FIND HIM CUTE OR NOTHIN!" She starts to noticeable blush..just a little

Rarity giggles from both your reactions "Oh no? Applebloom, you are aware you’re blushing, don't you?"

"I AM?!" Applebloom starts to touch her face with her hooves, surprised with herself "T-THAT DON'T MEAN NOTHING!"

Fluttershy starts to join in on Rarity's laughter, she was finding this humorous as well.

You notice Applebloom's blushing...oh god....god..please let it mean nothing. You can't be doing with this, you didn't want any of the ponies thinking it'd even be cute to try to bring you two close! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ALSO MAY HAVE TO DEAL WITH FUCKING DIAMOND TIARA!
You turn to Rarity.

Fluttershy immediately stops laughing, finding that super surprising "...oh my..."

Applebloom doesn't say anything at all

oh just realized that you just spilled all your spaghetti
What was wrong with you?! You completely embarrassed yourself enough to duck your head down in shame. hiding it between your legs..
"....I-I didn't mean that...I-I just got caught up..and embarrassed..I-I"

"Oh Anon" You feel Rarity gently pet you along your back. "I apologize, I didn't mean to embarrass you like that. I only was having a spot of fun to ease the tension caused by recent going ons...We know you don't have a crush on anypony. You just did get here after all"

.....crisis averted, you were about to cry too...geez.
You look up, revealing your teary eyes to Rarity. Real tears, did you feel like you really goofed up that badly? That was random.
"I-it's ok Rarity...I shouldn't have taken it so seriously.."
Something was definitely amiss with you. Being younger must have regressed something like inhibitions and such. You had to ask Discord to know for sure...

"Well...if it makes you feel better Anon. If you were a little older. I wouldn't mind taking you out on a date to make up for making you feel this way...who knows, you might be able to sweep me off my hooves." Rarity gave you a small pat on the head "I know you'll make a lucky filly one day very happy. Knowing how you bravely stood up to those thugs and protected your friend. That's a quality not many ponies have. It is something to be proud of Anon."

Oh geez..that for some reason makes you blush and at the same time feel sorry for poor Spike. Your first meeting with Rarity and you already got a hypothetical date. Poor guy. Still, her words were also kind. But you knew you didn't deserve them.
"Thank you..umm..Miss Rarity.."

Rarity nodded "you're welcome." Rarity turned to Fluttershy "Fluttershy, I simply must know the family who adopted this colt. I want to offer them all a free customized set of clothes for Anon, it's the least I can do for the little hero. Especially after I embarrassed him so"

Applebloom says something first. "Ahm, Rarity, ah don't think it's somethin' you wanna hear in public, just sayin'."

"Hmm? Nonsense, why wouldn't I?" Rarity exclaimed

"Well ummm.....Rarity..I think Applebloom might have a point. You know how you tend to be dramatic." Fluttershy said in a soft spoken voice.

"Come now, what could be so surprising about Anon's adopting family that would cause me to act dramatically? Just tell me, I promise It'll be just fine." Rarity stood at the ready

"Well...alright...but...he only has a see...umm...And I don't think you should react too much to this....because he's been doing so much better..but...ummm....It's.....Discord"

Rarity started giggling "Hahahaahaha, oh Fluttershy, surely you jest! I didn't know you were such a comedian"

"ahm...Miss Rarity. Fluttershy is right, Anon's dad is Discord" Applebloom added

"....." Rarity suddenly goes dead silent. Her eyes wide and full of horrid dread

"N-now Rarity...y-you promised..." Fluttershy reminded her

"Y-you're right...ahrm..umm..well it was a pleasure to meet you..A-anon..But I think I need to go back to my boutique...for...things..p-pardon me" Rarity excused herself, it looked like she wanted to burst. She actually had to run back to boutique to have some sort of dramatic fit that she didn’t want the public to see, or perhaps she didn't want to visibly break her promise. Either way, it looked like she wanted to go nuclear.

"Oh my...I hope she'll be alright" Fluttershy said worryingly as Rarity wandered off.

"Yeah...umm..Anon, ya heard that ah said AHM NOT interested in ya right?" Applebloom looked at you with a serious look, with a slight blush

You nod
"Y-yeah, same here."

Fluttershy was finding the whole situation odd "Umm..maybe we should get back to the cottage. I'll...umm...I'll make us all some hay pancakes. That should...ummm..lighten...the mood..."

And with that. You three went off once more. What a bizarre encounter.

Chapter 36

View Online

The three continue your trek to the cottage.

Things were getting a little out of hand. Or you thought so anyway. Seems you had some sort of hero status and you had charisma you weren't used to having before. Practically everyone you were meeting were either becoming nicer to you or becoming your friend in a short amount of time. You could have season 1's friendship lesson shit done in 5 episodes at this point.

You also think about what just happened as well. So goddamn embarrassing. You had to thank the heavens that you had the body of a young colt or that would have been extremely creepy.

You look over to Applebloom as you walk. She seemed ok. She didn't seem angry about what you said. Then again, girls are a fickle, grudge bearing bunch.
"Hey Applebloom, about what I said earlier...about umm...that stuff."

Applebloom look towards you, she seems a little confused. "Whatcha talkin' about Anon?"

"You know… how I said I prefer Pinkie Pie… I just, uhh… I got nervous. And just said something dumb. I didn't mean to say that."

" does that mean ya DO got a crush on me?" Applebloom seemed highly confused when she said this.

Goddammit! you suck at this. That's not what you meant! "Well… I think you're umm… a great gal and all. But. You know, we are but kids. Too young for that sort of thing and all… hahaha.."

Now Applebloom was really confused "Too young for what now? Anon, yer acting kinda weird"

DAMMIT… just be direct! Just do it before you fucking meltdown.
"What I'm trying to say is sorry… I didn't mean what I said back there. About preferring Pinkie Pie over you,. I was just saying stuff because I felt really embarrassed. And I just said the first thing that came to my head."

"Ohhhhh...ah think ah get it.umm.. Whatcha sayin' is that ya actually don't like anypony. But… wait. Now I'm really confused."

Fluttershy looks back on you two, having had heard the whole thing "I think what Anon is trying to say is he simply didn't mean to make you think he'd prefer anypony else but you. It's just he's not interested in any kind of relationship. Is that right Anon?"

Not exactly… you wanted SOMETHING… but that works. You decide to nod to that. "Y-yeah, that's it. That's it exactly"

Applebloom nods "Ah got it now! So that means if yer were interested, , you'd pick me right?"

You nod. "Yes exactly...WAIT I MEAN! AHHH..G..G.."

You didn't catch that last part due to just wanting it to be over. What a mess. But Applebloom just bursts out giggling. "Relax Anon, ahm just funnin' ya. Ah knew whatcha meant. and apology accepted… Now stop actin' all weird."


Fluttershy gave a small audible giggle.

The three of you arrive at the cottage. Fluttershy opens the door for the both of you while explaining that she'll get right on to making hay pancakes for the three of you and getting food ready for her little animal friends as well.

"Alright! now that we have time to spare, it's time to come up with new ideas to get a cutie mark! Anon, shoot me an idea!" Applebloom points to you.


Oh wait… Ponyville had arcades. "How about… Cutie Mark Crusader… arcade game… masters?"

Applebloom didn't look too keen on that. "Umm, ah dunno Anon. That doesn't sound like too good an idea"

Oh come on! She's tried so many ludicrous bullshit. What was wrong with that? "Not too good an idea? Why? I happen to be pretty good at games."

"Yeah but Anon, that's like 2 bits a pop. Plus, if it's just me, you, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. We'd go poor pretty fast. We ain't got a lot of money to begin with"

Oh… Right… That's sensible. You havn't seen any game consoles either to practice on. So that's out.

"Hmmm… Well, since yer a new member and a boy. Maybe we can use that to form some sort of team that needs a boy… Ah just can't think of any right now." Applebloom pondered

That didn't sound like too bad an idea other than the fact it sounds like you'd be putting in the most work… well… depending on what it is, because you yourself couldn't think of anything.

"Uhhhh...let's see...uhmmm......I.....I got nothing. I'm fighting to even come up with a single word here." You say.

Applebloom however, suddenly lights up like a light bulb. "Anon, yer a genius!"

......Wut? ".....huh? I just said I can't think of anything"

"Ya did, but ya also said you were "Fightin'" to think of something. See where I'm going with this?"

.....Oh come on. " don't mean me actually fighting do you?"

"Well yeah...sorta, Ya could join one of them colt wrestling teams, and we could be yer trainers. With three of us trainin' you. You could go from Bronco to a lean mean bucking machine!"

You raise an eyebrow. "Do any of you even know anything about wrestling to be able to do the training?"

"....Well no......But ahm sure Twilight has a book on it somewhere in the castle and-"

You interrupt Applebloom, that was a bad plan. "Rather not, I'm not that good a fighter."

"Whatcha talkin' about! You beat not one, but TWO stallions! ya could cream the hay out of any scrawny colt!"

Yeah, two stallions who were Discord. You didn't want to risk getting into any serious fights and getting actually hurt. Not in this puny body anyway.

You shake your head. "Just not interested in it Applebloom"

"Can't ya atleast give it a chance?"

You sigh "No, come on. I just moved in here and you're talking about me joining some group just to beat down some others. Count me out on that. Let's just think of something we can do together"

"...Ok" She seemed a little disappointed, but she didn't relent on thinking of something else. "How about Cutie Mark Crusader Royal Guards? With how things have been goin' lately and how Twilight don't got any guards of her own, maybe we could be her first royal guards!"

...That… was an even worse idea… "....eeeehhhhhh… I'd rather not just stand around. Besides, My dad has told me stuff about the kind of things Twilight deals with. I'd rather not be slapped around whenever some major threat appears."

"Ahh come on, there'd be four of us! What could possibly beat four crusaders?"

"...Well, for one… my dad."

Applebloom laughs nervously. "O-oh right.......mnnn" Applebloom put her head to the ground as her disappointment grew. "Ah thought this would be easier..."

So did you, she's gone through so many idea with just the other two that there wouldn't be too much to think about with just you added that wouldn't be boring. But… just in case. Let's suggest something boring. If only to throw something in to keep her from going one hundred percent depressed. "How about Cutie Mark Crusader Window Wipers… There’s probably a lot of windows in Ponyville that need washing"

You expected it to be declined, you just wanted to toss an idea out just so there'd be an idea, but Applebloom just reacts with ecstatic enthusiasm. "That's a great idea Anon!"

"It is?" Window Wiping? Seriously?!

Applebloom nods profusely. "Of course it is! There's four of us now! We'd be able to cover the window washing market in Ponyville and leave no window dirty! We'd get our Cutie Marks for sure!"

...ugh...Why did you suggest that? But you were sure that when the time came to do it that it wouldn't last more than ten minutes until it turned out to be a dud. So you just nod. "Yeah....sounds like it'd work..."

"Yeah! After ahm done eatin', ah can go tell the girls and get it ready for tomorrow… Anon, you'll be there too right? We can't do it unless we're all there."

You nod. Why not? "Yeah, I'll be there. But when exactly?"

"Tomorrow afternoon after me and the girls get out from school! You could do that can't ya?...or is your dad not gonna let you?"

No, you think Discord would. Since the loose ends should be wrapped up by then. "No, I think I can make it"

Applebloom beamed you one of the happiest smiles you've seen from her. It was heart warming. Single minded as ever. "Ah can't wait! Ah can feel it in my hooves Anon, tomorrow is gonna be it!"

You wouldn't get so excited about such a thing, but you smiled at her to show that you were willing to try… boy… how horrific would it be if this really was it. Window Wiping for the rest of your life. With the way Discord is treating the father son thing. He'd automatically disown you for being so boring and probably throw you in that tentacle pit for shits n giggles.

Fluttershy, with a plate of pancakes on her head and Angel holding two of them while standing on her back. finally announces breakfast. "Pancakes are done everypony! Please don't hesitate to dig in"


Angel hopped down from her back to hand both you and Applebloom your pancakes. And while he handed Applebloom's without an issue, he stopped when he turned to face you. And looked at you, as if something was wrong with you.

"...Uhhhh, what's up?"

"Hmm?" Fluttershy puts her own plate down to the floor carefully, then looks at her pet rabbit with a little concern "Angel? is something the matter?"

The little rabbit didn't seem to like you… Or at least seemed to notice something was off. He put the plate down away from you and started making gestures and muttering something to Fluttershy.

"Angel, I'm surprised at you! He's just a colt! He wouldn't do anything like that!"

Woah, whatever Angel said to her. Fluttershy didn't like it. This was worrisome.

"W-what did he say, Aunt Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy turned to you, and gently slid your plate of pancakes to you with her hoof. "D-don't worry about it's just Angel being silly."

Applebloom was just as curious as you are "Ahh come on Fluttershy, what did he say?"

"Yeah, it can't be that bad" Or it could… This was Angel. He was a fucking asshole in the show. So whatever he had to say was probably none to pleasant. Hell, you wanted to know just because it seemed odd that he didn't like a cute cuddly colt like yourself.

Fluttershy gulped. "W-well… umm, he said… he uh… he said.." Fluttershy let out a false chuckle "He said Anon looked like a really shifty adult..."

Applebloom was confused "Huh? ...But he's not, are ya sure he said that?"

You began to sweat. There's no fucking way...

..Relax Anon...relax. He's a fucking rabbit. even if that wasn't somehow a guess. There's no fucking way anyone would take that seriously.

Fluttershy nodded "I'm sure Angel is just being silly...aren't you Angel? coooome on, you don't have to say such mean jokes."

Angel crossed his little arms and looked at Fluttershy seriously, then muttered some squeaks. You knew he wasn't joking. What the hell could he see? Or figure out? Just by looking at you?

Fluttershy didn't seem at all too pleased at what he was saying. "Angel! Anon would never do such a thing! Ohhhh… I want you to apologize! The thing you just said; That's very lewd!"
Fluttershy's voice had only raised just a little. But her face, she was not too pleased… not at all.

"Lewd? ummmm...What's that mean exactly?" Applebloom didn't know the meaning it seems.

You had to play carefully. it seems Angel was picking up something that you yourself wasn't sure you were letting on about. But your body was at least of a mostly natural occurrence. If Twilight's magic couldn't do shit about it, then he couldn't see through it.

"I-it's nothing… Angel, go on, apologize to Anon." Fluttershy gave him a worried stare as she pointed to you.

Angel didn't seem like he wanted to. What you didn't know was that Angel just was able to somehow read off that you weren't what you seemed. And looked like you were the type that would take advantage of a sleeping pony's butt… or would try to anyway. You look at the rabbit,and try making a convincingly emotionally hurt frown.

"Hey… come on, I-I don't know what I did. I'm really sorry if I insulted you mr, uhh... Angel. I didn't mean it."

Angel just raises an eyebrow at you… That little fucker… What was he playing at?

Fluttershy shook her head at you "No no Anon, you don't need to do any apologizing… Angel… Please… Just apologize. This is no way to treat guests"

Angel groaned, and instead of doing whatever he needs to do to apologize. He just hopped off and out the window before anyone could say anything else. Huh...

Fluttershy looked to you and apologized for him. "S-sorry Anon..I've never seen Angel be so judgemental before.....I'm really sorry.."

...Awwwww… You felt compelled to make her smile. you get up and nuzzle into Fluttershy. You didn't want her to be upset. "It's ok Aunt Fluttershy… I'm not upset. I bet he's just cranky or something. You shouldn't have to listen to whatever crazy things he had to say."

Fluttershy embraces you in a gentle hug "Mmm, It's just, I've never heard him say those kind of things about Anypony… not even Discord. I just hope nothing is wrong with him..."

Maybe you shouldn't be too surprised. Angel has always been a colossal dick. Fluttershy tells the both of you to try to get it out of your minds and enjoy your food. For Applebloom that's easy as she doesn't fully comprehend such a thing. Fluttershy even brings you all syrup and joins in. breakfast talk was kept to a minimal. Y'know, just pleasant stuff.

You were evaluating how you approached things thus far. Maybe you were too obvious? Applebloom was just talking to Fluttershy about the whole window washers thing. Nothing too interesting. You were glad Angel had left though. No doubt frustrated that Fluttershy wasn't listening… but, you weren't a bad guy. Yeah you wanted to do lewd things and such, and maybe you were capable of doing things that many ponies wouldn't… but that didn't make you a bad guy. Angel, you were sure, was just thinking negatively due to being a massive asshole.

After breakfast was over. Applebloom wanted to head her way to the clubhouse to make plans and tell the girls of the window washing idea. "Fluttershy, can't Anon come along too?"

Fluttershy shook her head "No Applebloom, he just got out of the hospital… and you shouldn't be going any further than your home either... It's dangerous."

You weren't about to protest, you weren't too excited to get started on the whole window washing thing.

"Awww, ya don't have to worry about me. Ponyville is my home! All I gotta do is be careful" Applebloom was confident she'd be ok, which she was correct in thinking at the moment.

"Still, I'd rather you just stay here… or at the very least take the safest streets back to the farm… Applebloom, this is very serious."

Applebloom's ears began to droop "Awww… are ya really that worried? Ah mean, ah think I'll be ok"

Fluttershy shook her head. "It might not be ok...Applebloom please...promise me, you'll just head straight to the farm… If Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are in the clubhouse… please… please… ask your sister go get them. I'm sure she'll know what to do afterwards.."

Applebloom was starting to understand Fluttershy's side of things. She didn't give it too much thought on how dangerous things were until mentioning that even Applejack had to be some sort of escort for her friends. She felt maybe things might really be that serious even after she knew you gave those two foalnappers a pummeling. She gave a slow nod. "Alright, I promise… I just hope they catch these guys soon..."

Fluttershy gave her reassuring smile "I'm sure they will...Discord is helping...and if I know him… he'll have them nabbed by the end of the day. And then you all can go for that window washing cutie mark! I can be your first customer if you want."

Applebloom instantly brightened up "Ya will! Really?!"

Fluttershy nodded

"Gee thanks Fluttershy! Oh, and Anon… You're definitely DEFINITELY going to show up tomorrow right?" Applebloom looked as cheery as she could be after hearing Fluttershy's words.

You nod "Umm, yeah. I mean… if the fillynappers are caught of course. You can count on me!"

"Alright! ah can't wait!" And with that, Applebloom had made her way out. Fluttershy went to her window to make sure she got all the way to town carefully.

You wish you could just tell everybody it was a ruse at this point… but fine, it was ok… Just stick with it. You had to trust in Discord. You were now alone with Fluttershy however… and, it didn't seem there was much to do.

Chapter 37

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Fluttershy, after cleaning and putting away the breakfast plates, came to make sure you were ok. "Anon, are you alright? I hope Angel didn't make you feel uncomfortable...I'm really sorry about that. He doesn't usually act that way..."

"Oh that? Nah, no, don't worry about it Aunt Fluttershy, Like I said earlier, I bet he was just cranky about something else..."

"...Maybe, but, The things he said… They were... well… umm… I'd say… extreme.."

You wave your hoof in a way to suggest not to worry about it. "I'm not too worried about it. Relax, I didn't even understand anything he sa-" You cut yourself off as you see Angel back at the windowsill, he was staring at you, then he put two of his paw fingers towards his eyes, then on you… He was watching you.

"Anon? hmmm?" Fluttershy was confused as to why you stopped and looked to where you were looking, but Angel had hopped off before she could spot him."What are you looking at?"

"N-nothing, thought I saw something." You had to keep it together, no doubt, given what Fluttershy was talking to him about, that he was expecting you to act lewd or inappropriate. You were sure you wouldn't around Fluttershy, but perhaps this extended beyond her? Maybe not, who knows… Time to shift topics.

"Aunt Fluttershy, can I ask you some questions about you? namely, the kind of stuff you've had to face as an element of harmony?"

"Oh? What do you mean by that Anon?" Fluttershy was curious

"You know, monsters and stuff. I want to know from you, personally. What was the scariest thing you ever had to face?"

Fluttershy shivered a little as she gathered her thoughts "Oh… umm… if I had to name one thing… It'd be… Nightmare Night."

...That wasn't the answer you were expecting. "No no..What I meant was,...uhh...What was the scariest thing you ever had to do?"

"Oh… well… ummm… It's very scary setting up for… Nightmare Night… if I forget something, then I have to go out during, well… Nightmare Night."

Ugh...Halloween equivalence was not of your interest. You just wanted to hear a story from her point of view of one of her many adventures. "No no, ok,uhh… ok got it… Who is the scariest anything you've ever had to face."

Fluttershy took a moment to think. "Well… if I had to think of anypony… it'd have to be… myself."

"Yourself?" You were deeply confused, why herself?

"Y-yes… well… I mean… it's very very scary to have to look in a mirror and stare myself down into being brave enough to go out and fetch everything I need, especially if I need to gather food for any of the animals, on… well… Nightmare Night."

You plant your face on the floor… This was getting you nowhere.

"Anon… a-are you alright?"

You nod, face still facing the floor. "Yeah...just seeing how comfortable the floor is..."

"Well ummm..I don't think the floor is very comfortable at all, it's not too clean either...would you like to sit up on the couch instead?"

You shake your head. "No, it's fine..I'm comfy where I'm at."

"Are… are you tired? Or are you hurting?" Fluttershy was concerned, it's as if you suddenly felt weak.

But no, you were just annoyed. But you didn't want to be, you didn't want to be annoyed about whatever Fluttershy would say. You tried one last time.

You raised your head, and looked at her. "No, I'm alright. I really was just, uhh… testing the ground. And you're right. It's not comfy… umm, Aunt Fluttershy, can I ask you one last question… that's not related to Nightmare Night?"

Fluttershy nods, feeling better that you are actually ok "You can ask me as many questions as you like Anon, I don't mind"

Be direct. "Well, uhhh… How did you get dad to be good? I know a few stories from when he was bad. But, I only know vaguely about his reformation" You were sure that'd be pretty interesting to get the full story on. The episode only showed so much.

Fluttershy smiled "Before I answer that Anon… are you sure you are comfortable where you are?"

You nod, you were a little too lazy to move either way.

Fluttershy got up, and left the room for a moment. When she came back, she had a blanket hung over her as she carried in a pillow with her mouth. She used her wings to toss the blanket over you, and then gently put down the pillow in front of your head and gently bumped it under your muzzle. "Here, this should make you more comfortable for the story"

...That's adorable… You felt a warmth in your heart, you felt like she really cared about you like a child to a mother.

"T-thank you, A-aunt Fluttershy, you didn't have to do this..."

Fluttershy giggled as she sat down "It's no trouble Anon, I just want to make sure you're comfortable for the story… so… how much do you know? Did your father tell you anything about it himself?"

No, the show did… "Not really.."

Fluttershy giggles "He's probably embarrassed to tell that story himself. Well… Anon, you see. After we used the Elements on him, he turned to stone. And for awhile, he stayed that way. Until Princess Celestia decided to free him for the purpose of reforming him. and well… She tasked me with the job to do it. But… Well… I didn't want to force him to be good. I wanted him to learn what it meant to be a friend."

You nuzzle onto the pillow. "I bet he had trouble with it huh?"

Fluttershy nodded "He could be pretty tricky. When I let him into my home, he seemed pretty ok with all the space I was giving him. But he was plotting something of his own..and it was.." Fluttershy waved her front hooves at you in a spooky fashion "...nnooooottt veeerrryyyy niccceee ooooohhhh"

Seems she was getting a little into this, certainly gave you a giggle. You didn't expect that. Seeing your smile made her smile as well.

"But… something else inside him was planted, and it started to grow. In his mind… his plan was to make me promise not to use my element on him… and umm, I did do that, but uhmm, b-but his heart… He was actually learning from what I was trying to do for him..."

"What do you mean?"

"Well...Anon..How did you feel when you got adopted?"

...Haha… You're just going to answer for the feeling of coming to Equestria. "The best feeling ever!"

Fluttershy giggled. "Well, that was a feeling that was growing inside him… I can't imagine how lonely he must have felt before all this… or if he even realized it… because Anon… when he did realize it. He stopped, he stopped whatever bad thing he was doing… I could tell it was the first time he ever felt the fuzzy feelings that you get when you know somepony cares about you. All I had to do was show him what friendship was like, and he did everything else on his own… well… there were a few bumps on the road."


"Well, he felt friendship. But he didn't understand it. And while me and him became better friends during that time after. He wasn't quite… ummm… well… friendly all the time. He didn't quite understand what it meant to be a friend. And would do things, things that sometimes went too far, to try to understand what friendship meant, while also trying to ruin a pony's day in the process..."

Yeah, like in the episode with Twi and Cadence… hrn. "Did he ever try to ruin your day Aunt Fluttershy?"

She shook her head. "Actually, your father and me. we’re doing fine. We sent each other letters and went on picnics. He could be a little needy sometimes though… sometimes demanding my full attention… but I didn't mind. I wanted him to know that somepony did care. But… I guess he didn't understand the full concept of friendship at that point because… well… you know that horrible centaur, Tirek?"

You nodded, you had to make something up as to not seem as if you didn't actually know. "Yeah, he was terrorizing the city when he showed up...I still remember all those screams..." You made your body shiver in response to yourself to give the impression it had frightened you.

Upon seeing you shiver, Fluttershy moved up close to you to give you a hug. "S-sorry Anon...I...I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories… we… we can stop the story from here I think."

You blush, but it was because you felt a bond with Fluttershy in a sense of her being family. You felt no sexual feelings towards her anymore. This pure feeling without the lewd behind it was something you hadn't felt in quite some time.
You gently nuzzle into her. You felt bad for faking your fear. It probably would have been fine had you just nodded and let her continue the story...

"'s fine..I want to hear this to the end, but… Thank you Aunt Fluttershy… I'm really glad you're my aunt. You're really really really nice… and..." You couldn't think of anything else to say… you just… wanted to bask in her loving care.

Fluttershy cuddled up to you "Anon… I just want you to know that you are loved and cared for. I can't imagine how lonely your life must have been before you were adopted. And I think Discord couldn't have picked a nicer colt to call his son. I'm proud of the both of you. You both get along so well… and Discord, he's showing everypony what I already see in him… a good draconequus… and a good father."

Fluttershy's soft voice and cuddling was starting to get to you, you felt relaxed, sleepy. "Aunt Fluttershy… d-do you mind if I take a nap?"

Fluttershy nodded "Of course I don't mind, whatever you need to help you feel better Anon." Whatever helps you… mnnn… you could only think of one more thing.

"C-can… you… stay with me… until I fall asleep? I understand if you don't want to… I ju-"

She nuzzled into you more, and like before. got into a position to cuddle you and put you under her wing. "Say no more Anon, if it will help you relax, then your aunt is up to the task! Because...well...that's what I'm here for"


...But seriously, you kind of wish this moment could last forever… fuck… fucking ponies… well, maybe not to the point of forsaking it. Still… you can hardly remember any point in your life where you felt so loved. Fluttershy was climbing up to be best pony on your list now, even well above the Ponk. Also, fuck Angel... he better not ruin this.

You just silently nuzzled into her at this point as you felt sleep come upon you.

"Do you need anything else Anon?"

"...N-no, I just want you to stay with me ....please..."

"I never planned on stepping away Anon… you have a nice nap, alright?"

You yawn as your eyes get heavy. "..Alright… um… Aunt Fluttershy, can I say one more thing?"

Fluttershy nods "Mhmm, what is it?"

You go for it. your heart is saying this is the right thing to do. If this was part of being a family. Then you had to say it. "...I love you.."

Fluttershy said nothing at first, you nearly went lights out before you heard, in a very soft tone. "I love you too Anon… Pleasant dreams..."

You fall asleep once again.

Chapter 38

View Online

You dream a wonderful dream. Just being cuddled by Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie in an open meadow. Good~ shit.

They were just nuzzling and cuddling into you. It made you feel warm and nuzzly inside. Warm.
Nuzzly. Hot… Oohhh… yeah… they were nuzzling your cute colt body all over with their muzzles and hooves.

But of course, before this could get too steamy. You are suddenly blasted by a heavy wind, sending all three of you forward into darkness.

"GYYYAHH!" You jump up, awakening in fright.

There was thunder and lighting inside Fluttershy's house! no rain. But it was all gathering in one spot.

You even see Fluttershy in fright. She catches you and holds you close to protect you "W-What's going on?! Is anypony there?"

Suddenly, both you and her can hear Discord's laughter. "Yes there is my dear Fluttershy, it is I. The great, the mighty, the heroic, and devilishly handsome..."

Suddenly, the clouds gathered into one spot and release one frightening lightning blast. Making Fluttershy duck her head and hold yours down. At last, Discord appeared… In a Wonderbolt outfit, complete with goggles. "DISCORD OF THE WONDERBOLTS!"

In his arms was Rainbow Dash, he was holding her upside down.

Fluttershy looked up, shaking. "D-d-discord?"

"...Yes...I..I just said that..." Discord moaned in disappointment, he thought he'd get thunderous applause.

Rainbow Dash started struggling "Let me down Discord! Come on! I can feel the blood rushing into my brain!"

"Ugh… fine… no appreciation for the captivating and dramatic at all" Discord let's her go. Rainbow Dash is able to catch herself before hitting her head on the ground and begins to hover.

"Appreciation? pfft, whatever. there's nothing "dramatic" about pretending to be a Wonderbolt. So if you don't mind, take that costume off already! It's insulting to the REAL Wonderbolts." Rainbow Dash was none too pleased with Discord's antics.

"I think it suits me fine, I did manage to find those two loathsome criminals before you or them after all. I think that actually makes me better than a Wonderbolt to tell you the truth… But how could I resist not being one when they have such stylish goggles?" Discord taps and rubs the goggles he has "So stylish"

Fluttershy tries to talk, hearing about the criminals being caught "Y-you.."

Oh… Holy crap… They "caught" them? How did they manage that?

Unfortunately, everything gets cut off by a now angry Rainbow Dash "YOU AREN'T A WONDERBOLT DISCORD! YOU DIDN'T EVEN CATCH THEM. THEY GOT EATEN BY THAT GIANT PLANT!"

...Oh… Well… That's one way to take care of it...

"E-eaten?" Fluttershy stammers "T-they...they got eaten?!"

Rainbow Dash turns to Fluttershy, and sees the utter horror in her face. She didn't mean to upset her. But Discord got her riled up. She didn't even realize she got teleported into Fluttershy's house. "Fluttershy… ummm… I didn't see you… haha, look, don't get upset or anything. They were bad guys… they… uhh… kind of deserved it."


Oh geez… maternal mode Fluttershy. Her voice was nowhere near piercing. But it was still sharp in tone.

Discord turns to Rainbow Dash and smirks "Yes Rainbow Dash, how could you say such an awful thing in front of my son"

Fluttershy, in the midst of her own anger, suddenly became timid and looked to Rainbow Dash with a shamed look "S-sorry… I… I didn't mean to get too angry… I just… sorry."

But Rainbow Dash wasn't worried about that. "W-wait… I know that… wait… He's… your… WHAT?! YOU HAVE A WHAT?!..." Rainbow Dash then noticed you being close to Fluttershy . "FLUTTERSHY… Y-YOU DIDN'T!... TELL ME YOU DIDN'T!"

...Ohh… fucking shit. That's fucking hilarious. You had to hide your face in your hooves and laugh as silently as you could. Fluttershy retorted back, shocked at her friend's response.

"Rainbow Dash! A-are you honestly suggesting..?! I'm… I'm offended Rainbow Dash… you know I'd never..." She had to stop...and blushed heavily just at the thought of the word "...y-y-you know… do that… kind of thing before marriage… I'm his aunt… He was adopted by Discord… Didn't you know that?"

No she fucking forgot, she was probably so full of herself that day she showed off that she forgot that fucking detail. You started making muffled giggly noises.

Fluttershy looked towards you, unable to see your tears, she thought you were crying "Oh Anon..." She suddenly brings you close for a hug and runs her hoof through your mane. "D-don't cry… It's ok..."

Discord smirked and then looked at Rainbow Dash with a false disposition of concern, he knew what you were doing, but played along with it "Now, look what you've done. Really, Rainbow Dash? As the element of loyalty, I'd expect you to be the last pony to make such callous assumptions. I'd appreciate it if you apologized to my son."

Rainbow Dash felt ashamed of herself. Accusing her friend of such a thing. She was just surprised, she didn't know Discord had adopted you.

Rainbow Dash landed on her hooves, and approached you. You had to take a deep breath. You had to stop giggling before they noticed. "Heya..Anon, I didn't mean uhhh… whatever made you upset, what made him upset exactly?"

THAT DOESN'T HELP. You're practically screaming in your hooves, trying to muffle yourself.

Again, Fluttershy takes this as you even being more upset. and cuddles you closer. Then looks at Rainbow Dash with utmost disappointment "Well, for talking about ponies being eaten, and for saying that… other thing… The poor thing, he's probably so confused… It's ok Anon."

This constant cuddling, it was helping you stop your giggling, but you were still having trouble with that smile. You had to keep hiding it. But it was too rich not to be fattening. Rainbow Dash still didn't seem to sure on why she had to apologize. The… mommy daddy thing sure… but ponies getting eaten… moreso… bad guys getting eaten? She thought a colt would think that was cool.

"Ok..ok...Look..Anon...I'm sorry for scaring you about the bad guys being eaten and… ummm… getting you confused and upset with your dad and… your aunt… We square?"

You couldn't look at her, so you just say. "Y-yeah..gsh..w-were square...ghe.."

Rainbow Dash mistook your mirthful mutters as sorrowful whimpers. "Geez, hey… if it makes you feel better, umm.. Well..." She wasn't very good at this. "Well...if you ever wanted to feel what flying is like..I could take you around the skies of Ponyville if you want. Doesn't that sound cool?"

Actually… it did. You took another breath, and got your smile down. You slowly turned over to Rainbow Dash, because hell. flying around as super speeds? That sounded damn pretty awesome. And besides, it'd also means she's just doing it because she felt stupid. A definite plus.

"That..doesn't sound bad… umm, apology accepted." You say as you fully compose yourself

"And um… Sorry Fluttershy… you know I didn't mean to say that. I just kinda got caught off guard..."

Fluttershy, of course, being the way she is. couldn't stay mad at Rainbow Dash. "It's ok Rainbow Dash..just umm..please think..before you say something like that...please." Rainbow Dash nodded.

You look over to Discord, out of everyone there. You were the most interested in how he managed to finally wrap up his ruse.

"Dad… how, uhh… how did those guys get… eaten exactly?"

Fluttershy chimed in before Discord could say a word "Anon… I don't think you want to hear that kind of story.."

But you did, you simply HAD to know. "...I do actually. It really really makes me curious.."

Discord looked to Fluttershy "Fluttershy, If he wants to hear it, I say he should know. He does have a right to know what happened to his attackers. If it gets too intense, he can speak up."

Rainbow Dash, hearing Discord's words, suddenly seemed intrigued in something "Woah woah woah… hold on, attacked? Wait… you're the kid that fought off those two guys?"

Seems she was impressed. you nod to her and smugly smirk. "Yep, but they weren't too tough. I showed em what it meant to mess with me!"

Discord rolled his eyes. Rainbow Dash however, was examining your face. "Woah, you don't even have a mark on you. That's..." Rainbow Dash was indeed, incredibly impressed. "...Awesome.."

You couldn't help but feel arrogant. Ahh, but it wasn't too long to last sadly.

Fluttershy giggled and tapped your head "Now Anon, shouldn't you tell her about your eye?"

Rainbow Dash was confused "His eye? both look fine to me."

"...Yeah… about that. Actually, we ran into Rarity. And she put some stuff on me that covered up this black eye I got."

Rainbow Dash, upon hearing that, was not the least bit deterred "She did huh? I wonder why she would do that? You know how awesome it is to take down two stallions by yourself? that takes a lot of guts. That black eye is sort of a badge of honor."

"Excuse me!" Discord interrupted "But I was about to tell a story here!" He didn't like the fact that he couldn't hear himself talk

Rainbow Dash turned over to Discord and waved her hoof daintily at him "Yeah Yeah, hold your horses Discord. Can't you see two heroes are having a talk?"

"Are you shushing me?! Do you forget who I am?!" Discord walked up to her, shaking his talon at her.

Uh oh..

"U-ummm… can we not have a fight please… D-discord, you can tell the story, umm, after Rainbow Dash is done, please? I'd rather hear the… scarier story last" Fluttershy told him, trying to get him to calm down.

"Yeah Discord, you'll get your chance. Besides, you should be proud that your kid turned out to be a pretty cool colt… So Anon, were ya scared? I bet you weren't. Nah, you look like you got a mean streak about you. That's pretty~ awesome"

Discord crossed his arms "Hmph… fine… but only because Fluttershy asked."

Fluttershy smiled at Discord "Thank you for understanding Discord… don't worry, you'll have your chance."

"I was a little scared, y'know? But nah, when things got tough. I gritted my teeth and beat the crud out of em. Actually, I beat the big guy so hard that his voice went squeaky" You rubbed your hoof on your chest "Yup, he had trouble even getting up to run away. And the other guy? I sent him right into the alley wall"

"Woah, wait, so that crater in the wall in that alley… you caused that? REALLY?! WOAH! THAT'S AWESOME! Anon, the only other earth pony I know that can hit that hard is Applejack. You know how crazy it is that somepony like you can hit so hard?"

"Well… ya know" You didn't want to overdo it… but damn, were you enjoying the praise. "I mean, it could have been a lucky shot. But who knows? maybe I just don't know my own strength."

Rainbow Dash gave your head a pat "Hey, you're a hero, you don't ever have to be modest. Got it?"

You hesitantly nodded… You knew you weren't no hero. But the fact you did hit Discord's weak spot reassured you that you could probably win a few battles the mane 6 would have trouble winning at first with a swift kick to the nuts.

"Ya know, Discord. I gotta say. I had you pegged as a jerk. But talking with your kid. He seems pretty ok. You're doing alright" Rainbow Dash, surprisingly, even gives Discord some praise

Discord stopped his petty anger and instead went into his own brand of arrogance "Of course he is, I am the most qualified for the job of raising a colt… Ahh yes, actually, that was another thing I wanted to get to." Discord pulls out a copy of the paperwork Twilight had Spike write on back during the evaluation "I'm so good a father that even Princess Twilight herself has given me an official review and I passed with flying colors… see!" He held it up proudly.

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Right, you nearly forgotten Discord actually didn't get a chance to show that off. Before Fluttershy could walk up to take a look at it. Rainbow Dash snatches it out of his talons to take a personal look "Woah, woah woah. Hold on. This I gotta see for myself"

"I don't mind. As you can see, me and Anon managed to answer every question and performed adequately enough to make this whole arrangement official." Discord smiled, as he tapped the papers in Rainbow Dash's hooves and rips out… a copy of it. As if the papers had a soul. He then hands it to Fluttershy "And before anypony says anything, I'm sure you can read Spike's handwriting, he did write down everything Twilight told him."

You nodded in agreeance. "Yeah I was there, Dad definitely got the ok."

"...Wow… If Twilight even says it's ok… huh. And here I thought that this could have maybe been some sort of ploy or something." Rainbow Dash tapped at the paper, and peered closely at the handwriting. It was legit.

"Well, I didn't think that at all. I had faith that Twilight would see that you were a good father. I'm very very glad for the both of you. It would have been very heartbreaking if you both couldn't be together." Fluttershy said, overjoyed with the results

"Oh indeed." Discord rushes up to you and snatches you up and gives you a big ole hug "I don't know what'd I'd do without my little Anon here. He's the apple in my eye, you know." As Discord says that, he pulls an actual apple out of his eye and takes a bite. "Well, not this apple of course… anypony want a bite?"

Fluttershy nor Rainbow Dash saw the apple as too appetizing. You just hugged Discord, half hearted… it wasn't the same… it wasn't like Fluttershy. The full love she was capable of wasn't something Discord was capable of.
Then you realized, with the situation taken care of, you could probably go out and about Ponyville on your own. You look up to Discord's face.
"Hey Dad, now that you got those two guys. You think I can go out… and uhh… explore?"

"Explore? Ohhh yes… you mean explore your new home of Ponyville, yes yes of course. What kind of father would I be if I said no? Hmm??" Discord put you down.

"Exploring? Already? But you got out of the hospital just this morning… Discord, are you sure it's ok for him to just go out unsupervised?" Fluttershy was still worrisome of your condition.

"Of course it is! Fluttershy, if I baby him on every little boo boo then he will be a reclusive, bitter, cowardly being who would probably wear something such as a fedora in a unstylish manner… I could imagine Rarity having a fit now..." Discord snickered. You couldn't tell if that was a human world jab or if he was being serious… could even be both.

Rainbow Dash nodded reluctantly "I.....really hate to say it...But I gotta agree with Discord on this one. Kid has to be able to go out and play."

Fluttershy looked down, she was so unsure about it. she tapped her hoof once on the ground gently "..I-I… guess it's ok then… But..." Fluttershy looked to you "Anon, if you want to come back at anytime. My door is always open. ok?"

You nodded. "Thanks Aunt Fluttershy. Don't worry, I'll be ok!"

Finally! FINALLY! you were going to be able to go out on your own goddamn time. Fucking YESSSSSSSS.

"Anon, before you get going. I'd like a private word with you. Nothing major, just the usual father son chat. You understand." Discord said as he peeled the Wonderbolt costume like a banana peel and flung it in the air as it vanished in thin air.

You nodded, you knew however. it was anything but usual. "Ok...but can I say bye to Aunt Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash first?"

Discord nodded "Of course you can. It'd be rude not to."

You walked up to Fluttershy and gave her a big hug. Nuzzling your head under hers. "Thanks for taking care of me Aunt Fluttershy, you take care ok?"

Fluttershy nuzzled into you, probably more than she should, but… she was growing a maternal instinct towards you."I will… Anon… please please please please be careful ok? It can get pretty scary out there sometimes."

"I'll be careful, I promise." You give her another quick hug and turn towards Rainbow Dash. As Fluttershy goes over to whisper something to Discord.

"Seeya Rainbow Dash, don't forget what you promised" She wasn't all that bad, now that you got to see her just a little more.

Rainbow Dash smirked at you "You just better not chicken out when when I take you up high, got it? Heroes… don't… chicken... out"

You nod, how bad could it be? "I won't… I think you'll be surprised on how brave I can actually be"

"Hehehe, we'll see about that. Just catch me next time I'm free, got it?"

"Yeah, got it."

With goodbyes done, Discord says his own goodbyes in a grandiose way before teleporting with you to a black void. and yet, despite it being black, you could see yourself and Discord as visible as being under a light. You look up at Discord, wondering what he wanted to speak about with you. You were expecting another bout of hi-jinx, but you were ready this time. "So, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing in particular. Just wanted to give you an update on a few things to keep things as consistent as possible."


"Like what?"

"Well, first. Your punishment is officially over. without any chance of it reoccurring unless you somehow screw up. Annnnddd.....let's see."

Discord makes a small notepad appear and peers through it. "You'll be going to school in a couple of days, now I'm not forcing you, but I'd suggest securing what they call a "Clique". "

Oh, were already part of one. "Already got it done, I am a Cutie Mark Crusader after all"

"Ahhh yes… right… hrnn… Well, I'm sure it'd help you a little more if you made a few extra friends or acquaintances before school starts for you. It'd make integrating even easier."

It seems Discord was actually caring about your well being… that was odd… huh… "That actually matters to you?"

Discord shook his head. "Not particularly no, but it does to Fluttershy. It seems she's quite taken with you and this whole family business and just asked me to help you along with making some extra friends… Of course I don't need to actually do that. Given you've wanted to come here so badly, I can only assume this is something you could do on your own."

Yeah, you could. You didn't need your hand held… dammit Fluttershy, you grew a deep care for her. But you didn't need your hand… hoof held the whole way. "Yup, I have my own plans. I still gotta stretch my new legs, ya know? all four of em."

"True true, just remember your place. You are, by official documents, my son after all. Now… let's see. Ahh yes, your sexual tendencies, now that you are going to be a free range colt I have to make sure you don't go… ahh such a vulgar word… raping anything. most of your posts on this website just have an arrow with the word "rape" marked in green. Ohhh, such a word even gives me some quivers"

...he can see your posts? Goddammit, this fucking guy. snooping in on your old life… and what did he mean by that anyway? " know that was just a running gag right? I wouldn't actually go around raping anypony."

Discord poofed away the notepad and looked at you with a stare of authority "Oh I know you wouldn't. I know I don't have to worry about it at all. What you do with your urges is no concern of mine… But if it does happen to BE a concern of mine because I have to hear a complaint… well..." Discord chuckles as a pair of scissors appears beside him "Snip snip"

You gulp....that had to be the scariest thing he's done to you so far. "Y-you don't have to worry, t-trust me. I can control myself… But say… uhhh… let's say a mare… takes advantage of me and… erm… you know… that wouldn't warrant a… "Snip Snip"... would it?... Just asking, just want to be clear."

Discord could smell the sweat on you. "Well, I suppose in that case it'd be alright. Though, good luck on that… let's see… what do they call it...." Discord pops up a book and thumbs through it "Ahhh, here we are! Statutory… hmmm...Well, I suppose… hmmm.." He closes the book, making it disappear. "If it happens, it happens I suppose. It most likely won't since ponies are much much less deviant than any human. The worst that would happen is them going to prison and you'd have to go through counseling… at least ten years worth"

In other words, a big no… or a yes with a huge consequence attached. "You're a real buzzkill Discord, you know that?"

Discord rolled his eyes "Don't give me that, I'm just making sure you don't get into any huge trouble. Ponies are much less degenerate in behavior than any average human. If you could find a way without anypony finding out then good on you. But I doubt you'd get such an opportunity"

"So what you're saying is, you don't care as long as I don't get caught"

"Yes, exactly. But as I said. You'll probably never get the chance at your current age. I would do what everypony else does and wait until AFTER you have married the mare of your dreams… Actually I wouldn't do that at all, commitment is like poison to me, much too orderly for my taste."

You sigh, that was the best you were gonna get from him. It's not like you were going to go rape ponies or anything like that… maybe try to get a peepee touch. Or, something… ugh… fine, whatever. But if the opportunity comes up, you're fucking taking it… maybe. "Ok ok… mmnn, anything else?"

Discord shook his head. "Nope" Discord snapped his talons, your saddlebag appears beside you "Here's your bag with the map and a good amount of bits for you to enjoy the day. Don't spend it all in one place Anon." Discord then remembered something "...Ahh yes,almost slipped my mind... If you want to come home on your own. You can simply plunge the map into water, and it will open a wormhole to your room. Simple, isn't it?"

Was it? "Huh? That… sounds pretty simple… So I can just put it in any body of water?"

Discord nods "Yes, but I'd make sure you could fit in whatever you put the map in. wouldn't want to get stuck between dimensions now because you tried to jump into a cup, would we?"

..Nope… but, that is pretty convenient. "Nope...hmm..thanks Discord, I don't know if you actually care or not. But thanks."

You really did have to thank him, theres others you know who would kill you to take your place.

"...hmm.." Discord just murmurs something as he snaps his talons one last time.

In a flash, you found yourself outside town hall. With Discord nowhere in sight. You look up at the sun. it had to be the afternoon. Plenty of time to do your own thing. looking at the sun also brings up a thought… one day you had to ask about the sun and moon… the moon… Luna… geez, you also have to ask Discord about her in specific. Since Luna goes into pony's dreams, you couldn't help but think she'd get curious seeing a new dreamscape she's never seen around before. You were lucky enough she hadn't done so already. But… that'd have to wait… time to have fun.

Chapter 40

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"Let's see… let's seeee" You looked around, you could see Town Hall behind you. but you had no interest in seeing Mayor Mare. No, you wanted to do something you could never do as a human. "...come on Anon...think.."

You started walking, humming a little ditty from your past. Trying to get an idea. "...hmmn hmmmm… mhhnnn… come on, this should be easy, there's like a million things I can do. Visit Pinkie?... Nah, she's probably off somewhere. Have an adventure?... like where? Maybe find a background pony and have a chat? nah, had enough talking. Come on Anon..."

You stopped, tapped your hoof to the ground. "Come on song cue...." You perked your ears up for any notes. Nothing. "...dammit..come on. not even a cool song and dance number where things get zany? Ugh… this bites."

You looked around at all the other ponies going about their day, roseluck buying seeds. Berry Punch having a chat with Amethyst… something… You forget. You even spot Carrot Top going about her day humming a tune of her own.

"Ok....maybe I should just go shop around for....something. lessee...what do I need? What could a pony like me want?" You began to sit and ponder. silently. You didn't want to spend it on anything temporary, you wanted a souvenir.


"Come one! Come All! Come get your very own Princess Twilight Sparkle Figurine!"

Hrn? oh god… Hasbro has breached the dimensions… No, not actually. Your turn to see a bunch of ponies gathering around a stall ran by a rather stylish and quick talking blue stallion with a black mustache and mane. His Cutie Mark being of two ponyquinn dolls looking away from each other.

"That's right, How could you all live in the very town the Princess of Friendship herself resides in and not have these wonderful figurines in support of her rule! These figurines may not do much but look at the craftsmanship in each one, all hoofmade, and all in amazingly high quality. And you can get yours today for only 20 bits! It's practically high treason to be selling such gorgeous royal items at such a price!"

And just like that, the ponies of the town started flocking to get their own figurine. Boy, the Flim Flam bros could take a lesson from this guy. Or maybe not, their first escapade was pretty legit, sorta. Still, you weren't too much in a hurry to get one of your own. You wanted to make sure it was of fine quality first.

With your smaller size, you weave through the crowd, even forcefully pushing a few to the side without getting noticed and move up to the front of the stall. You start eyeing the models he was selling. All of them, Twilight in different poses, None silly, and most regal. It's like this guy doesn't know she isn't exactly the "proper" type. Still...They looked pretty damn good. Way higher quality than Hasbro's usual slock.

You squeeze your hoof into your saddle bag and pull out the needed bits to get one. You kind of wish there were Pinkies and Fluttershys, but it seems this guy was definitely working an angle as well.
You manage to get one amongst the sea of ponies.'s made of wood. You'd have never had noticed without touching it. If only you could post a picture on how exact it looked.
You put it in your saddle bag and nod your head. One fun thing down.....sorta...kinda....Now for something else.

But as you walk away from the crowd and head off in an aimless direction. You can feel a sense that you were being followed. You walk a little more aways, faking ignorance, you can definitely hear hoof steps behind you. "AHHAAAAA! YOU AREN'T are you following me?"

What you thought may have been a pony after your figurine. Was instead Silver Spoon, and only her. one half of the tyrannic duo. She didn't seem to pleased that you were mucking about.

"Because...I'm on to you" She said as she narrowed her eyes at you


"Excuse me? on to me about what?"

"You think I totally don't know? Do you even realize what you did?!" Nope, she was definitely angry about something.

Wut?... "What did I do? What, are you still mad about the whole threatening thing I said? That was a long time ago, get over it and leave me be" You snort at her, and go to turn, until she starts yelling at you.

"Don't turn away from me you friend stealer! I know you did it on purpose!"

Friend stealer? What? You turn to her, annoyed and confused. "Friend stealer? I have no clue what you are talking about. Why don't you go on with your other half and just leave me alone, I'm trying to have fun here."

A tear runs down her eye as she looks at you with a stern look, but her voice, it's weaker, stuttering "I-I can't, she..she doesn't want to hang out with me anymore"

Wuuuuuuuuuuut? "who, Diamond Tiara? Seriously? Why not?"

Suddenly, Silver started yelling at you, angry "WHY NOT?! YOU KNOW WHY!" She began to pant "I know you somehow took my photos, I didn't lose them. I know I didn't."

...Oh shit… Oohh shit… "W-well, I didn't take them. Not my fault you lost your blackmail centerpiece."

"Don't lie! Some ponies are already hailing you as some sort of brave hero now! Yeah… right... You probably hired those thugs to just CONVENIENTLY show up. No way a colt like you could beat up two stallions"

...Not exactly true on both counts. Seems she didn't have the whole story. "I did, I just don't play fairly. You think I'm just going to let some thugs do what they want?"

Silver didn't buy it. "oh? Then what's this I hear of your "Father" finding them and then them ending up as plant food in the Everfree forest? hmmmm?"

"Uhhhh....they were dumb? You do know Rainbow Dash was with him right? Are you suggesting he was in on this ridiculous theory you are just throwing at me? Because you sound pretty stupid right now"

She stomps her hoof. "Don't call me stupid! You're stupid! You think you're clever? You even managed to fool Discord. I wonder if you planned for him to get eaten too just to look like a victim. Look at you, you don't even have a single injury. Why did you even go to the hospital?!"

No injuries? Well you did heal kind of fast… but… oh right. Rarity...

"I do have an injury."

Whatever, it's fine. You rub your hoof along your hidden black eye. It doesn't sting anymore, but you begin to wipe away the mascara that Rarity used to cover it up.

"Do you see it?"

Silver Spoon seemed shocked, she didn't seem to understand how you made a black eye appear "Huh?... How?"

"Rarity said it looked pretty ugly and used her talents to cover it up. I took a beating."

She was already relenting. She was no Diamond Tiara. She couldn't keep up her relentless hatred like she could. "I didn't..I thought...but..still!"

Suddenly, Silver went back on the offensive "You still took my friend away!"

ugh...this was annoying. She was probably overreacting or something.

" tell you the truth, I don't care what you actually mean. She's probably just shaken up still. Why don't you go see her again and leave… me… be"

"I-I can't. Her dad took her out somewhere to relax.."

"...And? You can't wait for her?"

Silver Spoon shook her head, she was sad , she looked down in her sorrow "....No, she doesn't want to see me. When I knocked on her door, she came out… and… do you know what she said?"


Silver Spoon shook her head as more tears started to flow. "She said your name, she looked really happy one moment...then disappointed the next. I asked her what was wrong. She didn't say anything. I asked her if she wanted to go out and spy on the crusaders… she said she didn't feel like it anymore. When I asked her what you did to her, She yelled at me...and told me to leave..."

Then she looked at you with tearful anger. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

...ohhhhh… that… that didn't sound good at all. you take a moment to think before answering. This… really sounded like you messed with the natural order of the status quot.

"I-I I didn't do anything! I just saved her. that's it! Look, I don't know. Like I said, she's probably just scared. Why don't you just wait til she gets back?"

Silver Spoon didn't say anything at first. Christ… she was still crying though. Was she this dependent on Diamond Tiara? Then again, on the show, they were ALWAYS together and Diamond was always the brains. What happened?

"Look...uhmm..Silver Spoon..why don't you just go back home huh? just uhh...wait it out a day, and, she'll probably go back to normal" You did your best to sound sincere. You didn't like her, but geez. She looked so sad and pathetic.

She wiped her tears, she was done. "D-do you think so?" Finally, she was giving in.

You nod. "Yeah, I mean. That kind of shock can get to you. Just give her a day. Trust me."

Silver Spoon sniffed, and wiped her tears away once again "B-but...why would she expect you instead of me? Why would she say your name?"

...You didn't have an answer for that one… Not one she'd like to hear.
"U-uhhh...well. I was with her when we got attacked, she may have thought I was just..uhh...gonna see if she was ok. Or maybe she wanted to yell at me because I didn't save her sooner. Who knows? Just… just give it a day alright?"

Silver Spoon didn't say anything, she was too busy crying.


You reach into your saddlebag and pull out your map. "Here...blow on this"

Silver Spoon takes off her glasses completely and takes the map, and takes a big blow, and hands it back to you. You take the map, and shake it a little to get the tears and boogers out. Now you knew how every cartoon character felt ever about this. It was kind of gross.

"Feel better?"

Silver Spoon slightly nods "m-mhmmm...So...just...wait a day?"

You nod. "Yeah, should be fine by then"

"O-ok… s-sorry, for… I'm sorry"

...Oh boy, if this didn't blow over, you were going to be the one to be sorry.

"It's fine. Just, just have a safe trip home ok?"

She nods, you thought about escorting her. But this was not something you wanted to make worse by spending more time with her than you had to. You had a feeling what was actually wrong. And you didn't like it one bit. Silver Spoon silently nods. turns away, gives you one last sorrowful look, and walks away in the other direction.

"...geez… why do I feel like this is really gonna come back to bite me in the ass?" You sigh… "Dammit… I reallllllly hope this blows over..."

You needed a hell of a pick me up now. ugh...well...whenever you feel lonely and sad. Pinkie is there to tell you it isn't so bad. Of course… even if she was available. There's no way you could just dump this on her. She'd ask too many questions.

...No, you could at least go there and just hang out. If anyone could brighten up anyone's day. It was her. You just hoped she wasn't doing anything. You take out your map, give it another shake, and open it up. and Look for the best path to Sugarcube corner and head off on your way.

Chapter 41

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As you began your trek to Sugarcube corner, you couldn't help but feel a nagging feeling in your gut.

"...Ugh… Come on.." You knew this wasn't going to blow over in a day. You know what happened to Diamond Tiara. It's too cliche… but it must be it. She has definitely fallen for you. And it seems she alienated her best friend in the process. You ruined the cosmic balance of Equestria… sorta… If that was even a thing.

With every step you couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Silver Spoon. Was she a cunt? Yeah. But fuck, if your theory is correct. You just unintentionally took her best friend from her. Even more, it seemed she was dependent on her leadership.

With every step, your progress slowed. Visiting Pinkie might be a mistake. If she could read how you feel. If she had a Pinkie Sense for that. You wouldn't know what to say.

You stop. "Fuck me in the ass goddammit..."

You turn towards the direction Silver Spoon was walking off to, and run after her. You had no idea what this would accomplish. You had no idea on what you would say. But you know that if Silver Spoon saw Diamond Tiara again. Diamond Tiara would reject her hard.

You manage to spot her in your sprint, you call to her. "Yo Silver Spoon, Wait! I wanna talk to you!"


Silver Spoon stops and turns to you, confused as to why you followed her, tears still draping across her face. ".....A-anon?"

"Y-yeah, hey."

...Yeah, “hey”… good work Anon. Great start. Barreling right into stupidity on this one.

She doesn't seem to know how to reply, considering you just talked to her.

COME ON… CHEER HER UP YOU BASTARD… and then try not to let tomorrow be a disaster for her.

"Silver Spoon, uhh, look. Maybe you should actually take a break until I actually talk to Diamond myself. I mean, she obviously wants to talk to me about something. I could just find out what’s up myself and see if I can fix it. How does that sound?"

She shook her head, she seemed so unsure and depressed "I-I dunno… I mean. We always do everything together. She's my best friend… She's never told me to go away before. Maybe I should just go see her after a day… like you said… or maybe when she gets back"


"U-uh look. Forget about what I said earlier. Listen to what I'm saying now. Just relax, you know. Live up a day on your own while I find out why Diamond Tiara is acting strange. Just trust me on this. It'll be better for everypony. Ok?" You had to talk her out of it. Diamond Tiara was going to just tell her to go away again tomorrow, and what's worse. She'd probably say something about liking… or… loving you to her, crushing her utterly.

She didn't seem suspicious of your behavior as you began to sweat. She was just thinking. her tears letting up bit by bit. "Just, have a day to myself?"

You nod profusely. Geez, she's a wreck without her. Or just the fact she got shut down so damn hard really fucked with her. "Yeah, just do whatever you want. I promise by the time I'm done, you and her will be bumping butts again in no time"

You promised… YOU PROMISED… MORON. But, like giving candy to a kid. A promise was enough to cheer her up just enough for her to stop crying.

"You really promise you can do that?"

You nod like a moron. "Yeah, trust me. I got a way with words. So, just go home and relax ok?"

"Ok… but" Now she seemed really confused "How did you know about the flank bump?"

You cringe just a little. You only seen them do it on the show. "O-oh well, I mean. It just seems like something you guys would do since you're so close."

"Oh..." She looks into your eyes "Anon… I'm.. I'm sorry again for blaming you earlier. I thought you were just..." She stops, seems she was gonna say something mean

"Well… uhhh… uhmm… You're kind of ok for a blank flank." She thought you were a pony who was mean and ruthless deep inside. But now...

"Can I ask you just one question Anon?.." She looks deeply into your eyes....oh god...

"Um...yeah? sure. Shoot"

"Why are you being nice to me?... I mean. Me and Diamond Tiara. We sorta… well.." She didn't want to say it, she couldn't admit to saying she was being mean to you, to the CMC.

You immediately interrupt her, you knew what she was going to say. It was like a saturday morning script. "Look it's fine, don't worry about it. No hard feelings. I'm not angry. Just go and enjoy yourself ok? Make a day of it."

But she didn't turn, or go to leave just yet. Instead she hugged you....FUCKING CHRIST. THIS WAS NOT WHAT YOU WANTED.

"T-thank you Anon… really. I just want to be friends with my best friend again. I thought you wanted to take her away. But, you're just a nice guy. You saved her, just because she was in trouble… despite what we did. That's pretty cool" She loosens her grip, and looks at you with a waiting smile.

"Well yeah, I mean. I couldn't just leave her. No matter what she, or you, did to me. Nopony deserves that kind of stuff to happen to them."

Silver Spoon looked at you, she cringed at first. Cringed at the thought of her own misdeeds. That you would risk your very life to save someone who mocked you and humiliated you. "S-so… if.. I was also in danger? You'd help me too?"

of course… probably… more so than Diamond at this point, maybe… god, this is horrible. You nod, you weren't going to say no. "Yeah, I would.."

She blushed just a little. And turned away. No… No… It couldn't be THAT easy. But it was. You somehow charmed Silver Spoon through her grief of losing her friend. This would be a good time to be ugly....

What's worse. Is that you know you charmed the bullies. No, it couldn't be the CMC. You probably would have learned to enjoy it. Sweetie Belle was especially a cutie… BUT FUCKING NOPE! CHARMIN' THE ANTOGONISTS! GO ANON GO!

"W-well I'm… I'm gonna go home… Can you have Diamond see me after you talk to her tomorrow? I don't… I don't want to accidentally see her too early and her get mad at me again."


"Yeah...I'll send her your way"

"Thank you..umm..again..I mean....B-bye" She looks at you one last time, and takes a slow pace back to her home.

....oh shiiitt..

You turn and look at a side of a house… looks like a firm wall. You walk up to it, and slam your head once on it's side.


"Who's there?" You hear a pony come out of the house you just slammed your head on. You stop, and peer around the corner.

BG SECRET AGENT HORSE AT 10 O' was Bon Bon. She manages to spot you as you peer over the corner "Hello? Who's there?"

You'd consider running, but you were a colt. She'd probably think nothing of it. As you slowly come out of the corner, Lyra also pops out of the house, and looks at you. She smiles a big smile "Wow, that big sound was caused by that little colt?"

"I guess, hey, what's wrong?" Bon Bon said, she must have heard you "Who're you calling an idiot?" She walks closer to you to take a full look of the side of her home. Nobody there.

"U-umm, no one ma'am… Just, talking to myself.."

Bonbon seemed confused by that answer "Huh? Then… why are you calling yourself an idiot?"

Lyra looks over to you, giving you a big smile "Come on Bon bon, you don't have to be so direct with him. Look at him, he's so adorable! Can we keep him?"

...wut... wouldn't mind a Lyra....and a Bon the same time....

Bon Bon giggled "Come on Lyra, don't joke like that. You don't want to scare him. Why would you even say that?"

Lyra moved closer to you, and gave you a pat "Look at him. I've never seen a colt so cute..I dunno what it is...It's like..he's got something about him that just screams "There's more to me than meets the eye!" .......woah.." Then she notices "What happened to your eye?"

Bonbon notices aswell, and takes a closer look "Let me guess, you're Anon, that colt that managed to beat those two thugs… son of Discord… right?"

...Wut?! How did she know?! " did you figure that out?"

"Well… You did yell out your name… and I just put two and two together."

Lyra gives Bon Bon a big hug. "Wow! That's amazing Bon Bon, I wouldn't have ever been able to guess that."

...Hmnn… "You both don't live together do you?"

Lyra turns to you and shakes her head "Oh no no, we are just Super Duper Bestest of friends."

Bon Bon smiles and adds to her sentence "The very bestest"

...Oh boy, well, they were really cute and nice. Yeah… a twosome would be awesome… ugh… too bad they don't seem the type to fiddle with a foal… Well, maybe Lyra. She seemed to get some feeling from you.

"You guys look like it. Sorry if I bothered you"

"Oh it's no trouble" Lyra smiled, waving her hoof at you "Pretty cool we get to meet the little hero, wanna come in and have a cup of tea with us?"

Uhhh… maybe?... yes… that seems weird… yes?... alone with two stranger mares? ...yes? "Ummm..."

"Don't go scaring him Lyra, He did sort of meet us… just now, y'know?" Bon Bon cautioned her friend.

"Oh… right? Well… my offer still stands. Don't worry about it if you say no, we'll understand!" Lyra was giving you a very welcoming smile.

"...uhmmm, well… I guess, I could step inside for some tea."

"Woooooo! I'll go get him a cup!" Lyra rushed inside to set up an extra cup and seat.

Bonbon giggled "I wonder what got into her?" Then she looked at you with a smile "Ya sure you wanna come in? It's pretty girly stuff"

You didn't mind at all. They were cute… CUTE… and you needed to get your mind off this DT/SS mess.

You nod. "I don't mind, it's uh..."

Oh boy, this is gonna be nerdy. But it should work. with your fucking luck. "An honor to share some tea with two very pretty mares."

Bonbon giggled at your charm and rubbed her hoof in your mane, gently and lovingly "Well aren't you the little charmer? Hope you aren't planning to woo us, we're a little too old for you."

...Awww… ".u-umm, nah. I was just playing."

Lyra popped her head out "Come on! Come on! Before the tea gets cold!"

Ok, cool. You were about to spend some time with two BG characters. Hopefully… this would get your mind out of the shitter. And not only relax you but give you time to figure out what to do about Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

They do say tea relaxes you.

Chapter 42

View Online

Bon Bon's house seemed nice. Like everywhere else you expected. It lacked the marvels of the modern technology you were used to. And yet, it was comfy and uncluttered without the cords,buzzes, and zing of things such as tvs and computers.

The three of you sat down at the table. Lyra was giving you a large but sweet smile, Bonbon was less interested in your presence, but happy to have you all the same.

"I gottttaaaa ask! How did you beat up those two stallions?" Lyra asked, with curious glee

"Well… I uh. I remember giving this bigger guy a trouncing by knocking him over."

"Knocking him over? How big was he? Did you just tip him and clobber him? Details, details!" Lyra got excited, she was waving her hooves with each cry of "Details"

"Let me guess" Bonbon took a sip of her tea "You went right for his nether regions?"

...Woah… she guessed.

You nod slowly, with a little caution of whether that should be acknowledged. " did you figure that out?"

"oh...ummm" Bon Bon looked up, down, left, and right. "I could just tell by a few things, that's all. I'm just a very perceptive girl."

"Yeah!" Lyra gave a small pat to her friend's back "You wouldn't believe how perceptive she could be! Like, once. I was going to visit my friends back in Canterlot and I forgot my money back home. and when I turned around, there she was ! She spotted me the bits right there and then so I wouldn't miss my trip! It's things like that that make Bon Bon so great!"

Bonbon smiles a little in embarrassment "Well you were really excited the day before, I figured you might forget something. Besides, I wouldn't be a that good a friend if I didn't see you off"

Lyra smiled, that warmed her heart "Awwww! but you didn't have to do that, I left so early. I thought you would have still been asleep. I didn't want to bother you or anything."

Bonbon got up to give her best friend a hug "Hey, when it's you, it's like, never ever any trouble"

Then they both yell out "Best friends forever"

You just sat there, sipping your tea, silently. You were half expecting them to fuck right there, right then. " uhhh."

Maybe you could ask them for advice. They weren't the mane 6, so, it might be less troublesome to get an answer from them. "Can I ask you girls a question...about girls?"

Lyra giggled immensely "Uh oh Bon Bon! I think he has a crush on us!"

Bon Bon shook her head "No, I think this might actually be important. So, what's on your mind Anon?"

"Well uh, there was this girl who was with me when I saved her, and I think she might like me now. But I kind of, well… not interested. And then there is this other girl, who is her best friend, she kinda got mad thinking I took her friend away… Then when I talked to her, and told her I didn't and that I would handle it and get them to be friends again and stuff, She started acting weird… and now I think she likes me too… but I kind of don't want that either… What should I do?"

"You should just pick one!" Lyra cried out.

"U-ummm don't want either of them, I want to let them both off easy without ruining their friendship or getting myself killed"

"Killed? That's a little extreme. Why don't you just be honest with the both of them? I'm sure they would understand if you just tell them you aren't interested" Bon Bon tells you, she was definitely more level headed than Lyra.

Sound advice, but, "I don't think they realize they love me yet, I don't want to hurt them or anything like that..."

...What an odd taste in your mouth from saying that. You drink more tea to wash it out.

"Well, I could just hang around you if you want, I bet if I give you a kiss… well no, that'd probably just make them angry and jealous." Lyra giggled again

Guhhh… Is she flirting with you?! You started blushing. Feeling a little nervous

"Lyra, come on. Don't joke like that. look at him, you're making him all flustered." Bon Bon however, couldn't help but have a titter at the situation.

"I'm only joking, but look at him. He doesn't find girls icky or anything if he's reacting like that. Come on Anon, just pick one of them!"

"..L-look, I can't even say I was interested. I would be destroying their friendship. They have always been the best of friends… and now because of me, it's suddenly turned sour. I just want to fix it".

Yeah, even if it means they go back to being douchebags. thinking that just makes you feel more sour. Lyra's ears drooped, she was starting to understand the gravity of the situation

"Best of friends?...and now they aren't?...That's… so sad..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "That's the worst thing I've ever heard!"

Both you and Bon Bon look at her in surprise… Wow, she was also sensitive to that sort of thing.

"L-Lyra, it'll be ok. That's why Anon here is asking us this question. H-he just wants to help them." Bon Bon tried calming down her friend down, and Lyra put her face on the table.

You nod profusely. "Y-yeah don't cry, I just want to fix it. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Y-yeah but here I was, making suggestions that would have made it w-w-w WAHHHHH!" She just whined and cried, hiding her face in the arms of her hooves.

Oh geez.

"Lyra, come on. Get a hold of yourself. This little guy is asking us for help, and I happen to think the both of us could give him really sound advice on helping his friends. Lyra, you're the friendliest pony I ever met and I think you could give the best advice on this. So come on, cheer up!"

Lyra looked up slightly, tears in her eyes " really think I'm the friendliest pony?"

"Even more than Pinkie Pie" Bon Bon gave her a warm smile.

Lyra immediately perked up and gave Bon Bon a huge hug. Then she immediately turned to you with fierce determination and slammed her hoof on the table, startling you, and knocking down the tea cups. "This is what you gotta do! If they both like you but it's ruining their friendship! Then you gotta have them both see you, and explain the situation to them the best you can, then you gotta remind them why they were the best of friends and that all you want is them to make up and be the bestest of friends! You can't see them individually, it could cause jealousy if the other found it. It could cause a RIP..IN...THE..FRIENDSHIP...CONTINUUM! DO YOU HEAR ME ANON?! THE CONTINUUM!"

You gulp....geez, she got super serious all of a sudden.

Bon Bon was cleaning up the mess silently that her friend had made, she didn't berate her or get angry. "I don't think it's that serious, but. Lyra has a good point. You may want to speak to them at the same time about how you feel. It could give off the wrong impression if you don't."

Holy crap....that sounded pretty good actually. Better than the plan you had. "Thanks. T-that actually sounds like a great idea. Ok… So that's what I gotta do huh?"

Lyra nods at you, then smiles and gives you a pat "Mhmm! then you can be mine instead"

W-what?!... c-come on... You blushed deep red in that remark as a million filthy lewd thoughts ran through your brain.

"Lyra..." Bonbon turned to her friend as she dumped the broken tea cups, she smirked and shook her head

"Hehehehe, sorry! I couldn't resist. He's just looks so adorable." Lyra noticed how dumbstruck and blushy you looked.

"I-I mean..I d-don't uhmm...mind if you wanted to uhhh..." You stopped yourself

Lyra seemed confused "Don't mind what Anon?"

You gulp "I-if you uhh… refill… my… tea cup?"

Lyra looked down at the table "Hhmm? but you don't h-...OH NO..BON BON I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T REALIZE!"

Bon Bon rushed up to Lyra and hook her hoof at her, making a shushy noise "Shhh, don't even get upset or anything. You just got caught up in the moment… besides, I got like three hundred of these."

Lyra wiped a tear away "So you're not angry?"

Bon Bon shook her head "Not one bit."

Lyra couldn't help but give her best friend another hug, which Bon Bon shared in kind. They were the bestest of friends alright. Bon Bon went into her cupboards to get another set of tea cups.

"So, Anon. Why don't you say a little about yourself? It must be really interesting having Discord as a dad!" Lyra said. She was curious.

"Well, not much to say really. Dad is dad, he takes care of me and feeds me and we sometimes don't see eye to eye. But I guess all families are like that. As for me, I'm just a another colt. Though… I don't wanna sound cocky or anything… but I think I'm pretty smart, smarter than your average kid."

"Oh I could tell, you speak really well and you seem really mature for your age. I bet all the other kids in your class envy you." Bon Bon sets down the set of cups and sits down to listen in on the conversation.

"Well...I'm not in school yet. But I will be soon. Miss Cheerilee seems pretty nice"

Lyra nods "She is, ohhhhhh gosh, she's going to be impressed by you i'm sure. I just hope you don't get picked on for being so smart"

Bon Bon served herself some tea and took a sip. "Nopony should have to be picked on because they’re smart… But, and this is just a word of advice. If you do get picked on, I wouldn't suggest using your fighting tactics. Trust me, other parents would get really angry. And considering some ponies are already seeing Discord in a better light after what happened with those two criminals. It'd be a shame for them to have to fear his kid of hurting theirs..."

"Well… I don't think there's gonna be any fighting. I think things will be fine. I can't imagine getting into a fight with anypony else" You said.

"You'd be surprised Anon, some kids can be pretty mean… But, you have a good heart and a quick wit. I'm sure it's nothing you can't handle." Bon Bon said with certainty in her eyes.

"You never got picked on back at the orphanage you came from, did you?" Lyra asks

"Ummm, uuhhh, well, sorta. It was different things. But, it's nothing I want to think about. The past is the past, gotta look on to a brighter future and all that." Not the orphanage exactly, but you knew what it was like

Bon Bon smiled "I like that way of thinking, good on you Anon. If I was your Dad, I'd be proud of you right now!"

Lyra nodded "Well I don't have to be your dad to know I feel proud and I'm not even your mom!"

That's...really heartwarming to hear. You smile at them. "Thanks guys, you two are pretty cool. I'm really glad to have met you both." They both nodded in agreeance, and replied in kind.

For the rest of the while you three made a little more small talk about things like the weather, the apparent upcoming Friendship Festival, they didn't seem to know much on it, so Twilight was definitely keeping things hush hush. They talked about themselves a little more, never did find out if Bon Bon was canonically a secret agent. And enjoyed some relaxing tea.

After some time, you felt it was time to go. With a hug and goodbyes, you left your new friends… until. "Anon, wait! I forgot to give you something!" Lyra cried out to you

"huh? What is it?" You turn to her, only to suddenly be kissed on the cheek "That!" She began to giggle like a schoolgirl

"" ...This you didn't mind... oh please… why couldn't she just throw you on a bed and fuck you already?! AAGGHHHHHHHHH! You were blushing deep red and lost in thought.

"Lyra, now look what you did, he probably thinks you have a crush on him now!" Bon Bon giggled

Lyra was besides herself "I couldn't help it! He's just so adorable! I'm sorry Anon, I was only teasing" Lyra couldn't help but giggle through her words.

...STOP TEASING! DAMMMIIIT! "I-it's ok, u-umm..seeya guys.."

They reply, and wave to you as you wave to them. That was pretty nice all things considering. Pretty interesting for BG pones, and their friendship was so nice. You just hope their advice would work. Sad though, that they wouldn't just. Y'know...rape you

Chapter 43

View Online

Ok, now you could relax a little. you had a new plan of action, and had even managed to make new friends along the way. Even if your mind was filled with a few dirty thoughts about them.

You look up at the sky, the sun hadn't quite reached the point of sunset yet. And you still had bits to spend. Hmmm… You pull out your map and take a closer examination.
It seems it marks down businesses and important locations on it. But not individual homes… Except for Fluttershy's cottage being marked as "Fluttershy's Cottage". Rainbow Dash's house however wasn't marked by name, only by a picture. Poor Rainbow. Not notable enough for a map like this.

As you walk along a stretch of road, examining your map. You trip over something… or perhaps… someone.

"Hey! Watch where you’re going!" You hear in a quick scratchy tone.

You fall face first into the ground, the map flying upwards and landing on top of your head… This will never stop being a thing. Will it?

You then hear a slower voice beside you "Snips, are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine, but this guy just ran into me like it's no big deal! You should watch where you're going when heroes are walking the streets!"

You lift your head and shake the dirt off as you stand up. You didn't even need to guess who you ran into. Or who the other voice was.

You turn, and standing in front of you. Was the dubious pair of Snips and Snails.......wearing pots on their heads… Heroes? Since when? Half of you wanted to inquire about this. The other wanted to just walk away.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to walk over you like that." You say as you rub off the remaining dirt patches from your chest fluff

Snips takes a moment, then nods "I guess I can forgive you, since that's one of the many things heroes do. Is forgive the commoner ponies when they mess up like that."

Snails nods "Mhmm! But Snips, when are we gonna save somepony? We've been walking around all day and not one pony has been in trouble. I'm getting tired… and it's hot… I feel like my head is roasting in a pot."

Maybe because it was...

"Relax Snails, if that colt that beat up those two stallions can be a hero, then us, with our superior skills and reading all the magazines about heroes in Equestria, should be able to beat double the amount of bad guys!"

It seems these two jumped out of hero worship and just decided to be heroes themselves. It seems they didn't realize who you were.

"Are there any bad guys though? I thought it was just those two guys… or was it three?" Snails asked.

Snips gave a sly look of reassurance to his more dull witted friend. "Snails, Snails. Think about it. If there were two really nasty bad guys here in Ponyville that ARE known, then that means there’s gotta be like ten guys that we don't know about. All we gotta do is find em and beat em and we'll be considered heroes! We might even get knighted by one of the Princesses! Isn't that awesome?!"

Snails was astounded by his friend's words "We'd really get to meet a princess?" He smiled, looking up in the air longingly "That sounds swell"

Snips nods "Yup, we just gotta find some bad guys first… hey, wait… You!" Snips points to you "Guy who ran into me, have you seen any bad guys around?"

Seems he was talking to you "Uhhh… no… but uh… Don't you guys think it's kind of silly and dangerous to go looking for trouble?"

Moralfag powers...activate. Snips and Snails weren't bad guys. But fuck would shit go down if they actually found trouble.

Snails shook his head "uhhh, we're not looking for trouble, we're looking for bad guys"


"Look, if you haven't seen any bad guys, then don't bother us. We have very important work to do!" Snips said in a dismissing manner.

"Ummm, Snips… Don't we also have homework to do?"

"Forget homework, if we manage to do this, we'll never have to worry about homework again either!" Snips was sure of this, he seemed quite deluded.

"No homework ever again?! This sounds better and better..." Snails didn't seem to realize at all what a fool's errand this was.

Screw it… you didn't want to beat around the bush with this.
"There's no way you guys could beat even a single bad guy. I'd suggest you just go home and do homework." Blunt, but that should work.

Snails looks depressingly looks down "But I don't wanna do homework"

Snips jumped to his friend with a smile "And we aren't gonna!" He then looked at you with fierce challenging eyes "You got a lot of nerve telling us to do homework and stuff! Wait..."

Snips takes a closer look at you "I've never seen you around here before. Have you seen this guy before Snails?"

Snails shakes his head "Nope… you think he might be a bad guy?"

Snips rubbed under his muzzle "Could be… he did tell us to give up and do our homework… and homework is pretty bad."

You raise an eyebrow at them as you narrow your right eye inquisitively "...Are you guys serious?"

They both nod

. "He's gotta be a bad guy! He's trying to stop us. And bad guys always try to stop heroes!" Snips cried out.


"You do realize I'm about the same age as you guys… right?"

Snails stood mightily, pumping his chest forward "You can't fool us! I read in the heroes digest that "bad guys can take on many forms! As a hero you should always be wary, read page 45 for more information" And then I did read page 45 and then I forgot what it said...but I remember the many forms part!"

"Prepare for battle Canave!" Snips said as he revved up his rear end.

"...It's pronounced knave… Are you seriously goi… you know what, that's fine." It was, just slap them out of their silly dream. It's a good thing you ran into them before they did something stupid. "I'll take you both on, but if I win, you gotta stop this hero nonsense, because all it's gonna get you is hurt if you run into real trouble."

Was this you being a responsible "Adult"? Maybe, or maybe it was the guilt you'd feel from them getting hurt due to the destruction of the status quot

Snails seemed really confused "Say Snips… this guy sounds more like an adult than a kid..."

"Then you were right Snails… this guy probably took on the form of a colt to fool… WOAH THIS MIGHT BE A CHANGELING!"

Snails shivered in fear at the thought "A changeling? I dunno Snips....maybe we should go tell somepony?"

"Come on Snails! It's just one! All we gotta do is beat him and interrogate him to find out what he's up to and then go tell princess Twilight. We might even become her first royal guards!"

".....ohhh......ok.." Snails nodded

What dopes… You were thinking that you probably should have left it alone. But these are the same stooges that caused an Ursa Minor to show up in Ponyville. Letting them go do something stupid would definitely weigh in on your guilt if you just let them go on with their stupidity.

"Changeling… right… whatever… let's just do this already."

Snips didn't even hesitate to yell "FOR EQUSTRIA!" when he rushed at you, headfirst. You just roll your eyes and quickly calculated every cartoon tactic used by bullies to stop nerds. Tactic to use?.....hand...or hoof...on head.

You simply raise your front right hoof forward onto the charging pudge unicorn's "helmet" and stop him in his tracks. His force was actually considerable as it almost made you trip backwards. But you kept your balance, and without his momentum, he was now just trying to push you back while giving an occasional swing of his hoof

"Quick, Snails! I need backup, artillery fire, hurry!"

"No problem Snips, I got this!" Snails said as he started charging up his horn.

You had no fear of this, so you just focused on holding Snips in place. You could just simply flick him to the side. You didn't want to hurt these two. Hmmm… You could just step to the side and let him go straight into a wall...that might be better.

As you decide on your merciful finisher, you start to notice the area around you get a little brighter. "...what?"

You look forward, Snails' horn was glowing big and bright. The hell?! THE HELL?!

"I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna hit you with my best shot you big dumb changeling!" Snails threatened as he aimed his horn at you.


Snails shoots a humongous ball of magical energy at you. You flick your hoof to the right to throw Snips to the side then cover yourself up as with your hooves.

You could feel a warm light envelope you. You must have disintegrated right then and there. You were probably dead. You open your eyes, in front of you was the magic ball of energy spinning right into your blocking hooves without making any kind of progress further.
It was just a big ball of nothing . You take a breath, thanking whatever deity there was that you didn't die and try flicking the ball away.

Success, it just goes flying into the air and sputters into non-existence.

"uwaahh? B-but......." Snails seemed pretty surprised that it failed. At first you were too. But then you came to the conclusion that just because it was big didn't mean it was powerful. It was like a big luminous cotton ball.

Snips got up and lifted his pot helmet from his face "Did ya get him?"

"N-nope, he's still s-standing!" Snails started to wobble

"Quick, Hero attack formation Alpha!" Snips cried out as he straightened his helmet.

Snails started to wobble more and more "No can do, Kind of put everything I had into my superhero surprise magic ball attack… night night… wake me when we're royal guards.." Snails falls over, unconscious.

Ha! One down, one to go.

"Snails?! Snails!" Snips ran up to his friend and jumped in between him and you "I won't let you hurt him! He's my best buddy!"

...You put your hoof to your face in annoyance. "I was never gonna hurt him, or you. You were the ones who started this fight remember?"

"Nu uh! You were the one who started it by being a changeling bad guy! Why don't you fess up now and tell me what your queen is up to and I don't have to lay down my own super magic on ya!"

Super magic..right. "I'm not even a changeling… you know that right? You were the ones who called me one. Look, I don't want to humiliate you too badly. Why don't you stop this now, pick up your friend, and go do that homework? Huh?"

Snips shook his head "Never foul beast! Beating you will be so much sweeter than doing some stupid homework, Prepare yourself!"

Snips lifted his helmet to start doing some magic of his own. Time for tactics B… "You really think your magic c....HOLY MOLY! IS THAT PRINCESS CELESTIA ON FIRE WHILE PRINCESS TWILIGHT AND TIREK DO THE MAMBO?!" You point forward, behind Snips.

He looks back in amazement,surprise, and fright "Wha?! Where?!"

You snicker as you rush up to him and slam your hoof against the side of his helmet so hard that it vibrates and rings over his head, sending him to his backside.

"Gyaaaaaah! My head!" Snips own head vibrates as he throws of his pot helmet and tries to steady himself "That was a cheap shot!"

Heh, it was. you felt pretty good about it though. Shut him the hell up. "I'm a bad guy remember? done yet?"

Snips slowly stands, determined to beat you. "Never! As long as I stand… I'll… uhhh… ohh..." Suddenly Snips started to sweat and shiver.

You look at him funny, you hope you didn't bang his head too hard. What was up with him?

"H-hello..M-miss Cheerilee...u-ummm..."

Ohh yeah fucking right... "Don't even bother, if you think I'm gonna-" Suddenly you feel a tapping behind you.

Now you begin to sweat… that was an awfully firm feeling hoof behind you. You look behind yourself. Oh god… IT WAS HER… She didn't look to pleased. She had two grocery bags hanging off both sides of her. "What's going on here, gentlecolts? Anything you'd like to sha-SNAILS?!"

She notices Snails down on the ground and dashes towards him. "Snails!?" She then looked angrily at the both of you "What happened to Snails?!"

Snails peeped one eye open and just smiled goofily at her. "Oh I'm ok Miss Cheerilee, I thought I had to go night night because I used a lot of magic but then when I hit the ground it kind of hurt so I didn't actually fall asleep but I thought I'd just lay here anyway for dramatic effect since the magazine says heroes do everything dramatically"

...If this was an anime, this would be the only appropriate time for you to actually fall on your fucking face.

Cheerilee sighed, she almost got riled up for nothing. "Alright, what's going on here?"

Snips ran up in front of her, guarding her from you "Be careful Miss Cheerilee, that guy is a changeling, a really cheap one!"

Miss Cheerilee was not amused. She had already seen you before. And now she had caught you in a fight. Crap… crap. You had just had a talk about this...

"Uh huh… Snips… that's not a changeling." Cheerilee said, unamused by all this

Snips wouldn't let his guard down "Don't let him fool you Miss Cheerilee, he's a crafty one!"

Cheerilee sighed. She was starting to see how this happened..almost. "Snips, that's your future classmate, Anon... Please tell me what's going on before I round up the whole three of you and have your parents pick you up… yes… even you Anon, I won't make an exception just because of who your father is."

G-guh… come didn't do shit.

"Anon?" Snips was confused, he had heard that name

Snails looked up from his position in surprise "Wait… uhhh… you mean the guy who beat up those two other guys? Uhhh… that's him?"

"That's right. Now will somepony please explain what's going on? pleas-" Before Cheerilee could finish, Snips started to panic.


Snails put his pot helmet over his face shaking "awwww geez, now we're doomed and we still have homework to do."

Snips dives at your hooves, and bows down to you "Please forgive us Anon, we didn't mean to attack you or nothin’, we thought you were a bad guy changeling! We just wanted to be hero colts too!"

"Attacked? You boys attacked him because… you thought he was a changeling?!" Cheerilee couldn't believe it.

...Oh this was good though… You couldn't be roped into blame if you were just defending yourself. You already had enough on your goddamn plate.

"W-we never saw him before… w-we thought he was a changeling spy" Snails shivering became more intense.

Cheerilee looked at you, she just wanted to be sure. "Anon, is this true?"

You nod. "Yeah. They wouldn't listen to me when I said I wasn't a bad guy"

You weren't lying either . But you weren't going to defend them for their actions. Both for the fact that you weren't gonna deal with this bullshit and the fact that this should get them off their little crusade.

"...I see..." Cheerilee surmised it wasn't your fault and that both Snips and Snails were being overzealous "So he said he wasn't a bad guy and you both ganged up on him anyway?"

Snips gulped "Sorta… but he also said he'd take us on."

Cheerilee looked back at you "Is that true Anon?"

GODDAMN IT! "U-uh… ummm… sorta, I mean… they wouldn't listen when I told them they shouldn't go out looking for bad guys to fight. They just kinda went on and on. And I uhhh, I thought maybe if I just kind of, you know. deterred them without actually hurting them they would stop trying to find actual real trouble"

Cheerilee pondered on that. Then she looked at Snips and Snails one more time. "Did he hurt you boys at all?"

Snails shook his head "Nope, he didn't even touch me"

Snips just rubbed his head "Well uh, he banged my hero helmet… but uhhh… that's it."

"I see....I want both of you boys to go home right now. I'll have a chat with your parents tomorrow."

Snips and Snails looked down in shame, and together they just agreed with her and went on their way.Snips stopped to look at you one last time. He looked so disappointed with himself. were sure this wouldn't be the last time you see them. "Well uhm...thanks Miss Cheerilee...uhh..nice to meet you again, I'm just gonna..."

Before you can do anything, Cheerilee interrupts you. "Oh I'm not done with you either young colt. If you don't have to go home right now. I'd like it if you would follow me so we can have a little chat."

That...could be taken in so many ways. You could lie to her. She'd never know. But, you're afraid of what she might do if you just ditch her. Your more adult sensibilities tell you you aren't actually in trouble. Hopefully anyway. You reluctantly shake your head. "No, I don't have to go home yet. A-am I in trouble?"

Miss Cheerilee's face slowly changed to a gentle smile "Oh no no no… but this whole thing has worried me. I just want to have a little talk with you is all. I think it's better if I learn a little about my newest student. A teacher has to always be prepared."


You decide to go along with her. Wondering what she wanted to talk about.

Chapter 44

View Online

You started reluctantly following your future teacher. She seemed to have a destination in mind as she started walking from where she came. She was, like every other mare, a cutie. And since you were going to be her student. You wanted to make a good impression.

"So ummm… what do you want to talk about Miss Cheerilee? Is it about me being in your class soon?"

She shook her head "No, though, now that you mention it… I noticed you don't seem too nervous about starting school in a place you aren't familiar with. I've never seen that before"

...Oh… you were supposed to be nervous about that? SHIFTING GEARS. "W-well, I'm a little nervous. There's gonna be a lot of kids there I never met… I hope they like me… I'm kinda scared that they won't"

"Well don't be. If it makes you feel better, I don't tolerate bullying in my class. And besides, as I understand it. I've heard from three certain students that you joined their club."

This… was a pretty casual conversation… huh. You felt pretty comfortable with this. "Oh… you mean AppleBloom and her friends? Y-yeah, they made me a crusader like them. It was… uhh… Well, it made me feel welcome."

Cheerilee giggled "I heard you actually had a little difficulty with that. Is it true you don't really care about Cutie Marks, Anon?"

...How to answer that?...Seems they have either been blabbing or they have been overheard. "...uhhmm...well. It's not that I don't care. It's just. Well..." She was an adult. Surely she would understand this reasoning. Maybe, you could actually have a sensible conversation without it being "HOLY SHIT YOU NEED A CUTIE MARK ANON!"

"I don't want to be defined by a single skill. I know they represent your "Special Talent". I don't want other ponies to look at me and say "Oh, he does this" or "He's only really only good at this one thing". I've given it some thought. Sometimes I think getting a Cutie Mark is a good idea, but when I'm alone and I think about it. It just seems to be a label to me. I mean, what if I'm equally good at like… five things?"

Cheerilee at first seemed a little confounded by your answer, she had to think. You started to think nobody your "age" has ever challenged such a concept before. "Well, Anon. I can already tell you that you'd be great on a debate team because that's a good argument" Cheerilee said to you, but she was smiling about it.

"Seriously? does that mean… uhhh... That I have a good point? That I'm right?"

"Well, you definitely have a good point. But I can't say if you're right or wrong Anon. There has never been a case where anypony, not even the princesses themselve, have ever been good at five things equally. But, if in the case that a pony was most skilled in five different areas, I would think the skill that ,even by a small tiny amount that goes over the four others, would be their Cutie Mark. Since that would be their "Special Talent". To put it simply Anon, a pony can be good at a lot of things, but they'd also have that one thing they are the very best at."

Ok, maybe five was reaching. " about a pony equally good at two things then?"

Cheerilee giggled "Come on Anon, do you know anypony that's equally skilled at two different things, it's a little unrealistic for anypony to have the exact same skill in two different arts, no?"

...ugh… no… most likely not. Even on Earth a guy can be multi talented but to expect them to be equally skilled in two different things. That was only in the movies. ", I guess not"

Cheerilee had to stop to laugh. It seems she found something about your answer funny.

It made you feel a little perturbed. "What's so funny?"

Cheerilee had to calm her giggling to give you an answer "Ohhohehe.. It's.. It's nothing. It's just. Here I am walking with a colt and I can swear I actually speaking to a Stallion. You're very intelligent for being very young Anon. Has anypony ever told you that?"

Yeah… Fluttershy… until Discord rekt you with that quiz. Still, even then. You couldn't feel honest about your intelligence since you weren't actually a kid. "Some ponies have..."

Cheerilee noticed your less than enthusiastic answer "What's the matter Anon?"

Nope, you don't want her wondering anything about that. You look up at her and smile.

"Oh no it's nothing. I'm just a little nervous. I mean, I haven't even really met you and now I'm walking with you alone. It's sort of..odd to me"

Cheerilee gave you a big big beaming smile "Well don't, I don't know how it was back at your orphanage. But Ponyville is one of the nicest places you could ever find yourself in. The ponies here, we help each other and look after one another and everypony usually always has a positive outlook on things. So don't worry, I'm not going to hit you… still, I guess you'd be a little on edge after what happened..."
She focuses on your black eye. "Nopony, especially one so young should have to go through what you went through… Anon, I hope those thugs didn't leave an impression on you. That kind of thing is very rare here."

Yeah… thugs are rare. Things like monsters and crazy chaos gods aren't. Still, she took your reaction the wrong way and was only trying to make you feel more comfortable.

"Thanks Miss Cheerilee… You're pretty nice for a teacher"

Cheerilee smirked "That's because you haven't broken any of my rules yet."

And you didn't plan to either. It shouldn't be that hard to obey a few school rules. "I don't plan to either. I don't know what impression you may have gotten due to my Dad, but I can assure you I'm pretty good at following the rules."

Cheerilee didn't say anything though, she stopped, to ponder at your words.

"Miss Cheerilee?"

You were wondering why she suddenly stopped, was it something you said? "Anon, did you take any kind of special schooling before you came here?" Cheerilee asked, curious

"What do you mean?" ...You started to think she noticed you're higher than normal kid intelligence.

"Well, It's just very rare for me to speak with a student who can use the words you use appropriately and can do such critical thinking. Usually when I speak to one of my students it's about sillier things. And here we are having a civilized and intelligent debate about Cutie Marks. I just thought you may have had some sort of higher form of education."

You shake your head, you didn't need her thinking into that. "No no nope, I just uhhh..I like to think a lot. Specially with who my dad is. I mean, haha. Being the son of the spirit of chaos really makes a pony think."

"Hmmm..." Cheerilee looked at you as if there was something more. But as she thought, she started to think that maybe prodding would be a bad idea. She actually had something related to Discord to ask you and she had fallen off track. And most of all she didn't want to upset you by digging into you about the subject too much. "Well then, I can only say I expect your work and effort to reflect all that deep thinking you do."

At first you wanted to groan… but you didn't. You didn't need too. You probably didn't need to put in too much effort at all. It was all kid stuff. But like everything else, best to give a smile and a salute. "Can do Miss Cheerilee!" And she followed suit with a smile.

You both arrived at a small garden with a few benches around, and a gazebo as well. The sun was finally starting to set, making the sky turn a golden orange. She sets her groceries down and takes a seat on a bench, and then invites you to sit next to her.

...Well, this was oddly romantic. But you didn't want to hesitate or stand around. Lest yet another female says something about… those kinds of things. But you did have to ask. "Why are we here Miss Cheerilee? I mean, this place seems a little secluded, don't you think?"

She didn't seem to understand your context, and just answered normally while looking up to the sky "I just thought this would be a good place to sit down and talk." She then looked at you, she looked pretty serious all of a sudden..."There's a few things I want to ask about you and your father. I don't mean to pry. But I always want to make sure all of my students, future or current, are doing alright."

So that's it. Even despite Discord's ruse, she still was worried about it all. Well… considering his display back at the school. She probably had good reasons to still worry about it. Being the adopted kid of a former villain would definitely raise some red flags. She was taking the opportunity to talk to you in a nice relaxing place to essentially interrogate you without it seeming too personal. Well, that's fine. You should be able to answer any question she might have without error.

But first, you had a question of your own. You wanted to understand why she took you to this bench..exactly. "Questions huh? Do you take all your students to secluded spots to ask them questions?”

Cheerilee shook her head "Not usually no, I talk to them after school, or if they want to talk to me alone about something they feel is important then I'll let them choose the spot. And I guess since I happened to bump into you that I'd be the one to ask you questions in a place that was serene and relaxing… Do you understand?"

You nod, that seemed reasonable. Miss Cheerilee probably had a deeper connection to her students than most. Considering she seemed to be the only goddamn teacher in town and she always seemed nice and caring on the show. It came to no surprise she'd actually take a more active role in her students care.

"Yeah, I got it. I'll answer any question you might have. I've got nothing to hide"

Cheerilee seemed a little surprised with that answer, she didn't think you'd be so forthcoming. She didn't even know where to start "oh..hmm..So I can ask you any question, and you won't hide anything from me?"

You shake your head. You wouldn't be held back by the guilt of having to lie about your relationship with Discord. The ends justified the means. Just as long as you weren't lying about EVERYTHING. "Nope, I'm like an open book. And just to show you, if you had a question about him abusing me in anyway. Then the answer is a big "no""

Cheerilee didn't say a thing. She had a whole round about way of getting to that line of questioning and you just unexpectedly nipped it in the bud. "Well… that's very good to know. hmmm.."

Seems she was stunned by your straightforwardness. You started to think if you could anticipate her questions. You could get them over with without her getting to a question you'd have trouble answering or make some sort of contradictory statement.
"..oh and he feeds me super healthy food, and he has shown me around town. I even got to meet Princess Twilight! oh, and I have my own room with books and a light and even a nice warm bed. And..AND..." You reach into your saddle bag and pull out the bag of bits and the map. "He gave me these!"

Cheerilee was definitely astonished now. Finally, your initiative seemed to finally pay off. Without a word, she pokes at the bag of bits, and when she heard the clanking of coins… "Wow...that's a pretty good amount of bits he gave you. Why did he give you so much?"

"Dunno… all he told me is that I could use it on whatever I want. I haven't got the chance to spend it… and looking at the sun. I don't think I'll get the chance to. I don't mind though, it's been an interesting day"

Cheerilee just looks up at the sun again. She couldn't think of any questions to actually ask now. You managed to convince her without getting into a whole series of questions you felt would be worthless. Looking at her, she was pretty cute. And being alone with her like this...You felt you had to ask a question of your own… but which one.

"Miss Cheerilee, can I ask you a question?"

She giggles "You might as well, since you just decided to give me all the answers before I could ask a single question"

"Well..uhh..I was just wondering...."

...No, you couldn't ask her about Big'd seem to suspicious..But they did make a cute couple. You had to think of something else. You wanted to ask her something that never was addressed in the show… but what?! Dammit, she didn't have much to her… nah fuck it, it's hug time. There was something about these ponies that made hugs extra snuggly and warming to the heart. "...ummm....can I have a hug?"

Cheerilee again was surprised, she didn't expect that after you showed off your "Intelligence". "A hug?"

You nod. "Yeah...I like hugging, it makes me feel warm"

Unbeknownst to you, you had just made Cheerilee feel awful. She concluded the only reason you'd ask for a hug from a pony you barely knew was due to not having a mother. The only other student she knew who didn't have parents was Applebloom, but she had her sister, granny, and brother. You… well, she couldn't imagine Discord being too affectionate. As a teacher who cares about her student's well being, she couldn't say no.

She didn't even say a thing. She just wrapped you around her front legs and gave you a gentle squeeze. Unlike Fluttershy however, it didn't last as long as you'd hope. She gives you a gentle smile

Yeah… that was good enough. Just like every other mare. Her hug was calming, soothing, loving. It had to be this place itself. You knew when you got a hug. It was because they genuinely cared.

But then Cheerilee began to giggle again. it seems something struck her as funny.

"Did I do something funny?" You asked. Confused

She shook her head "No, I actually thought you asking for a hug was sweet. But now that I think about it. It seems pretty funny that'd you'd be so smart and yet ask for a hug. I hope you don't mind me asking what brought that along, do you?" She thought she already knew the answer. But she wanted to know how you felt. Because if it was a mother issue. She wanted to help you get through it with a few more helpful words.

"Umm..well.." Of course she'd ask. Asking for a hug out of the blue? Whatever, it was worth it. Because it also told you what kind of pony you'd be dealing with as a teacher. As long as you followed her rules then you'd have no issue with her. meaning no complications. And her caring nature means you could ask her for help in case you needed it. Equestrian history was, as proven by Discord, a little lost on you. "Well… don't go telling anypony..but I just like getting hugs from mares who are just makes me feel happy. I guess that's one of the reasons I like my Aunt Fluttershy, she gives me lots of hugs."

You didn't mind telling miss Cheerilee this. If anything you figured she'd keep it a secret and it'd help with making a connection with her. The kind of connection that'd hopefully mean she'd be as gentle natured as possible with you. It wasn't that you didn't mind gruff or hardened personalities. But they were all so goddamn cute. One of the things you remember from the boards you frequent was everyone wanting to hug the ponies, even cuddle fucking was a thing.

Welp, you were living the dream baby. You could even imagine hugging that commie pony Starlight Glimmer… almost… she was pretty sexy but she didn't seem too affectionate. Either way, you doubt you'd ever get a chance to meet her. Sad, you wonder what would happen if you butt heads with her about Cutie Marks… and hopefully not get magic zapped.

Miss Cheerilee gave you a shorter bonus hug and a pat on the head "You know, it makes me feel happy too. I now don't have any kind of worry that something might be wrong. Infact.." She laughs "You might actually make Discord a nice guy if you keep that up, considering he went after those two thugs that hurt you. I can already imagine he's already on the right track to bettering himself."
Miss Cheerilee then looked up at the sky and noticed it was getting dark. "Oh my! I didn't even realize it was getting so late… Anon, do you need me to escort you home? It's the last I can do keeping you here for so long"

You shake your head as you grab your map. "No need" You notice a fountain and walk close to it. All you had to do was toss the map into a body of water you could fit through. This seemed good enough. "In fact, I don't think you could get me home. Considering I live in another dimension. Here, check this out!"

You toss the map into the fountain. Causing the water to turn purple and swirl until it opens up to reveal your room on the other side. Neat! "See? Dad even gave me a super convenient way of getting home. So say, even if I got lost. I could just go home by tossing my map into a body of water. Cool huh?"

Yeah, that was pretty damn cool. This was the first time seeing it. You felt like a cool little magic caster from an RPG. even if the act was simple to do.

Cheerilee just stared at the whirling portal. She wasn't amazed at the portal itself. Magic was a normal thing of course. She was more amazed that Discord was being so generous with you. And looking at your room through the portal. It was just as you said it was. She didn't answer you back however, she just stared at the portal.

You toss your Saddle Bag into the portal, and it goes right on top of the bed… seems safe enough. You look up into the sky, it was indeed getting pretty dark. You look at Cheerilee. You took a moment to think about what transpired. Yeah, It probably wasn't too weird she spoke to you one on one like this. She was just worried about your situation and took the opportunity to make sure things were fine. It's not like she hasn't taken an active roll before. Her and Big mac did end up punishing the CMC for their own crazy antics with that love poison.

"It was nice talking with you Miss Cheerilee… you have a safe trip home ok?"

Miss Cheerilee smiled at you, yeah...she figured you'd be fine. But she was gonna stick around and make sure the portal didn't frag you or something "It was nice talking with you too Anon. I hope when you come to my class that you utilize that brain of yours for creative and wonderful things"

You nod as you begin to climb over the fountain's outer ledge. "I will, I promise. Seeya when I seeya!" And with that, you plop into the portal as Cheerilee waves and watches. The portal instantly closes behind you as it pops and turns back into the map. falling right beside you as you land on your bed

You snuggle up to your pillow a little as it gave off that radiant magical warmth. Everything was going fine so far. Every pony you've met besides two have been nice to you. You couldn't complain. It felt nice to be loved… loved… yeah, actually, there was a problem… two problems… you had to make sure to nip that in the bud tomorrow. For now, you'd relax… maybe see if Discord was home and see what he is up to.

Chapter 45

View Online

As you cuddled on your pillow, you could hear banging coming up from your door. It sounded like something was hitting pure stone.

"What the hell?....hmmm" You let go of your pillow and walk up to your floor door, and slowly open it.

You peek your head down, and before you was no longer a living room. But in fact a small garden with a bunch of statues of Discord. "..what the fuck?...This is a little, uhh, creepy… huh… Hey, Discord… you around?"

You here more banging and clanking coming from below. You decide to investigate. You place your hoof very carefully through the door and feel for the invisible gravity stairs. It was there...
You slowly make your way down from the ceiling to the ground of the statue garden and follow the noise to it's source.

Around you was various statues of Discord. He was in many different poses and costumes. It was pretty eerie. Almost as if he suddenly was capturing versions of himself that were turned to stone. They looked that good.

Finally, you spot him. He had a cap,goggles and a white shirt on as he used his talon as a chisel on a fresh slab of marble.

"What's all this?" You inquire

Discord stops and lifts his goggles to look at you "Oh Anon, you've returned. What do you think of my little garden?"


"Uhhh… It's nice I guess… but what's… uhh… what's this all about?"

"Well, since the train hobby didn't work out so well. I thought using my talents in chiseling and art would work out much better. And before you know it I had a whole garden of wonderful, beautiful, and quite charismatic me’s all around me. In fact, I even made a few Fluttershys to watch me work" He pointed towards a group of Fluttershy statues that looked like they were cheering him on…


"...uhhh...I uh.." This was so unsettling. It was like you were in Medusa's house. "I Didn't know you were so uhhh… good at making statues."

"Well Anon, one doesn't become a statue for one thousand years without picking up a thing or two. And I must say, having a bunch of me’s around is quite relaxing"

You'd say this was him just being lonely as fuck. But you knew that wasn't the case. He had Fluttershy, and anybody else that was willing to deal with him. He also had you. No, he really did mean what he said at face value… and holy fuck was it bizarre.

"Well uhh....Couldn't you have not turned the living room into the garden? What happened with the room you had the train set on?"

Discord looked at you, confused "It burned down remember? I couldn't do my work while it was still on fire"

"Yeah, didn't you like… magic the fire away or something? It can't possibly still be o… you know what… I'm not even going to finish that sentence because it probably still IS on fire… isn't it?"

Discord nodded. "Well, it is dangerous to try to calm the fire on my lonesome… though.." He rubs his chin "I suppose I could have made another room… but" He shrugs "The living room seemed the most sensible choice."

Course... Though, you couldn't be mad or hateful about this. It was his house, and Fluttershy did suggest he get a hobby. Nah, he's been pretty cool recently too. No reason to put him down. "Well, whatever makes you happy. So, is it just a whole bunch of yous and a few Fluttershys?"

Discord shook his head "Of course not. If it was just a bunch of mes and Fluttershys one might suggest I was obsessed. No, if you just turn the corner past the me with the mustache you'll see a small collection I made of another pony."


"Alright, I'll go have a look see"

You walk past the Discord statue with the curly mustache and look around the corner. Besides the statues were walls of bushes… like a hedge maze. " that..."

The group of statues....they were of you. There was only a few. But… they looked remarkably like you in pony form. One was just a normal pose. The other was Discord holding you so tight that you looked like you were going to gag. And the last one was Discord shaking your hoof… but your face looked frizzled. Your eyes bugged out, and your mane and tail zig zagged… the fuck?

"Discord… what's uhh… why do I look so weird on that last one?"

Discord hovered over to take a look. "Oh that one?" He chuckled "I like that one. I call it "Ode to a joy buzzer""

...Oh… it's one of those… Still, you looked at the one where he was hugging you tightly, and then the normal one… then the one with the joy buzzer. All in amazing quality. You wondered why he would even make these. "So, why did you make these?"

"Why not? I figured it'd be nice if I made a few of my only son."

..hmmm..No...he had to have a better reason than that. You didn't see statues of anyone else.
"Is that the only reason? I made three of these. You could have only made one..and there’s one where you are hugging me....sorta..."

Discord was getting annoyed now, Seems he wasn't too keen on answering "Anon, Why do you need another reason? Isn't the one I gave you heartwarming enough for you?", it was his generic response at this point. You weren't really his son. "Nope, if you didn't want me to get curious you shouldn't have showed them to me. Come on Discord. I live with you, just tell me what's up so I don't have to feel like some creepy stuff is going down in the place I live at."

"hmph, you don't have any actual standing in this house… Oh wait… Yes you do. hrnnnn...." Discord laughed at himself "I can't actually be rid of you at all. It's as if I pranked myself. You'd think I'd be angry, but it's just too funny!"

You roll your eyes. "Yeah yeah, ha ha… stop avoiding my question and just answer it."

"Ohhhhhh...." Discord raised you up with his magic to eye level, he looked amused "you're demanding things of me again? Just because we're "roomies" doesn't mean you have a right to my private thoughts. There, don't you feel awful now?"

Hahahaa… no. You look at him with a smirk, you found that funny. "Who do you think I am? Twilight or something? You know that I don't give a damn just like you don't give a damn about privacy."

Discord chuckled "That's a good point." Then he started tapping at chin again, thinking. "hrn...I suppose I will tell you then. The real reason for these statues. You see Anon. It appears I've actually grown to like you. In a different way of course. Whereas Fluttershy is kind, nice, and makes me feel warm. You bring out what I like to passionately call, my "playful" side. You Anon, have not only managed to meet my expectations. But sometimes you even… well… exceed them. A very hard accomplishment indeed. Fluttershy was indeed right. I do like having a friend who I can talk to about all things chaotic. Of course, she can never know we actually have some fun actually committing a few… well… acts of chaos. Not the ones we've committed so far anyway. I'm sure when we get around with that suggestion you had about the changelings, then perhaps she'd be all ears to enjoy the tale of a us toying with a villain. But… there we go Anon. That's the very truth of it."

...Hoah… He just said all of that as if it was all good… And, it really was all good. It seems he took what Fluttershy told him in that episode with Tree Hugger seriously. Though, he had to essentially kidnap you to make it work. He actually considered you a friend.

" really mean all that? I mean, it seems kinda weird for you to just say that without more of a fight."

Discord nods "I do, friends don't fight each other over such trivial things. Since you wanted to know so badly why I made the statues. Then who am I to fight it? You're right. We live together, and therefore we have to care about each other and be friends. And, I'm glad it's you Anon. There was many candidates I could have chosen. But thankfully, my first choice was my best. You're… you're one of the best friends I've ever made… I suppose, it just upsets me when you get angry at me. I know I deserve it sometimes though."

Discord started to tear up. Oh geez, you actually made him sad. That was possible? Mnnn… now you started to feel bad.

"Ahh come on man… It's fine. I mean… I'm glad to be your friend. We started out pretty rocky. But damn, we actually make a good team.You're a fun guy Discord. And you made my wish come true. I know at first I could have been more grateful, but, you know, you were sort of a dick. But, mnn, I didn't know you cared that much. Yeah, no. I'm really glad to be your friend too Discord."

Discord, still teary eyed, looked at you with a growing smile "You really mean that? You're… really glad to be my friend?"

You nod. "Yep, it's fun. I can actually talk to you normally… sorta… about things. And under all that crap you pull, you actually treat me pretty good. You gave me a room, good food, you even helped me make friends. A little uncharacteristic of you. But hey, nobody's perfect right?"

You laugh, thinking you made a pretty good reverse joke. Discord has a bit of a chuckle too. Then he extends his talons to you "Put it here pal, to everlasting friendship"

Awww… yeah, how could you not. "To everlasting friendship"

You extend your hoof to his talons as he grasps you. the next moment you feel a huge surge of electricity surge through you.


Discord, still holding you looks at you, then the statue of you getting zapped, then back at you "Darn… the mane and tail aren't supposed to be zig zaggy at all. They are supposed to be frazzled, how could I have made such an oversight. Now I'll have to start all over"


"And to think I actually spent an extra ten minutes trying to get it perfect and it all turned out wrong. Gee, I sure hope I'm not slipping with my old age."


"Well… I'm not that old. only tens of thousands of years maybe. I'm as young as a foal. Hmmm, perhaps too young. Well, I suppose being a tad mismatched is a good trade off for my devilish good looks… what do you think Anon?"


"Oh who asked you? you wouldn't know a good looking Draconequus if they came up and did naughty things to you."


"Oh now you're just being downright mean. I don't think I want to shake your hoof anymore. And to think I thought we were on "Super good friend" terms"


Discord acted surprise "Ohhhhh… that's what you meant. Well why didn't you say so?"

Discord let's you go as you fall to the ground, shaking from the shock, Smoke coming from your ears. And although it was extremely painful. You were actually nowhere close to death due to it just being a chaotic piece of Discord's magic. Still, You couldn't even speak.

"tch tch, staying up to the point you can barely even move. seems I'll have to actually take being a father seriously and tuck you into bed." Discord rolled his eyes

Discord picked up your shaking stunned form and teleported into your room. Where he gently placed you on the bed and gave you a pat. Your body was still shaking however from the magical zapping. You weren't even coherent.

"You'll be like that for a little while longer Anon. I...I..HAHAHA" He started laughing mainacally "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY FELL FOR THAT! HAHAHAHAH...oh....yes...It's one of the best laughs i've had with you yet… still. I hope this doesn't put a damper on our friendship. I actually did mean what I said… for the most part anyway."

Discord puts the blanket over you "Now you get some rest now Anon, I could only fathom how busy you'll be tomorrow. I'll have breakfast ready for you for when you wake up."

You weren't really listening, you were still shaking and stunned.

As he watched you shake and suffer, Discord sighed to himself and snapped his talons as the feeling of being shocked left your body. But the feeling was so overwhelming anyway, that you knocked out immediately.

Discord shook his head "Way to be a killjoy Anon, I pull a little prank on you and you have to make it look all serious. Hmm… you're not even listening are you? Fine, perhaps I won't pull that kind of prank next time. Since all it does is make you boring and annoying… hmm… Still not listening. Well then, pleasant dreams Anon."

Discord readied himself to leave with a snap. But after taking another look at you, he stopped for a moment. He sighed to himself. ".....hrn...I suppose one more statue is in order before I myself retire for the night." And then finally, he leaves you to rest in your shocking state of sleep.

Chapter 46

View Online

The next morning, you slowly wake up with a yawn. Oddly enough, you felt really good this… wait

You lay upwards, eyes widened. You immediately realized you fell asleep downstairs. You look around and see you were out of the statue garden and back in your room. "The hell happened?"

You try to think of everything that happened. You saw creepy statue garden. Discord was making statues. Made a few of you even, heartwarming moment… then… nothing. The last thing you could remember was reaching to give him a hoofshake.

"....weird...why can't I remember? I don't just lose track of memories like that..." But you couldn't remember. The gigantic shock from Discord's magic joy buzzer was too overwhelming, and being magically knocked out made sure you'd never be able to remember. But you were still curious.

"...Did he knock me out? Hrn... Well… at least he put me in my room, still… geez, what did he do and… huh?"

You notice a new door, right next to your bed. It was a red door with a dial next to it. The dial had four different colors on it. You go to investigate. "Is this a closet?... Why would I need this? I don't need clothes anymore… and what's with this dial?"

You tap it, but are wary enough not to twist it. You decide to open the door and take a peek. Upon opening it, you are blasted with sunlight. "Gyah geez!"

You put your hoof over your face as you let your eyes adjust to the light. You look past the door, before you was Ponyville. "Woooah cool, Wait..." You step outside the door, then quickly back inside. "....damn, thats pretty neat. What is this anyway?"

You close the door, having watched many cartoons and movies before. You started to guess what the dial does. You give it a twist and open the door. Upon opening it, you could see Fluttershy's Cottage… haha, super neat. With a growing smile, you close the door and try the third option.
You open the door, what you saw was a dank,dark forest. Was it the Everfree? "....nope"

You close the door, and try the last setting. You put your hoof on the knob. But you hesitate. "This one....for all I know this one is a joke." Whatever. Whatever it could be, you could just close the door before it rushes you. You take a breath, and open the door on the final setting.

...wait… Beyond the door was crystals and homes and a grand palace… this… this was the Crystal Empire. " this a joke? If it is… I don't get it. Why here?" You almost felt like taking a step out. But you had no business there. And you had work to do today.

You close the door. You go to the floor door that leads to the living room and open it. You peer downwards, the living room was back to normal. And you could smell a familiar breakfast treat coming from the room. "...Is that bacon and eggs?"

You descend the invisible gravity stairs to the floor of the living room and discover Discord already putting down a plate with bacon, scrambled eggs, and biscuits. He looks at you with a smile. "Ahhh, good morning Anon. Slept well I hope."

You did, still, you were wondering about why you just were sleeping at all. Ahhh, but that beautiful smell was so distracting… alluring. You approached the table and looked at the plate. "Is that mine?"

Discord nodded "Of course, I thought a more traditional breakfast would be appropriate today. One you were familiar with and would enjoy."

You sit down at the table, you better fucking believe you'd enjoy some bacon. ", thanks Discord. Oh geez… it smells so good."

You begin to dig in immediately… oh god, it was so damn good. Ohhh… lovely… yummy bacon. You munch,chew, and enjoy your breakfast. It seems Discord himself wasn't pulling anything off today either. Good, because you were going to be busy… but still.

You swallow a glob of food then look at Discord. "Hey Discord, can I ask you a question about last night?"

"Hmmm? Oh, let me guess. It's about you suddenly waking up on your bed, right? You don't remember what happened?"

"No, what, did something happen?"

Discord hovered above you and gave you a pat on the head. "Something did, but nothing for you to worry about Anon. The important thing is that you have quite the day ahead of you. And I thought I'd show you something that might boost your morale!"

Wait… but what happened? "Discord, hold on. What did you do last night? Just knock me out? Why? I'm curious" He hasn't pulled anything on you yet… this… seemed like a normal conversation.

"Well I was working Anon, I didn't need the chance of you waking up and looking at my magnum opus of statues before I finished"

What? he just knocked you out to keep a secret? ok? didn't know if you should be annoyed by that. probably not, the breakfast was keeping you rather satisfied. "I could have just gone to bed you know?But..I guess this "Magnum Opus" is meant to be some sort of special surprise?" You smirk. "You know if it's some sort of horror monster thing, then I'm already prepared. You are getting pretty predictable, you know that right?"

Discord snickered as he stared at you, snapping his talons to make a large object appear behind him covered in a tarp. "Oh? Is that a challenge? that I can't surprise you?"

You nod, returning his smirk. "It can be the most vile thing in the universe and unless you actually mean to kill me… which you don't… Then you got nothing."

Discord grabbed the sheet and looked at you with a hard and malicious stare. "Ok Anon, let's see how you handle this then. I promise you that this is something you'd never EVER be able to predict."

You turn and stand the ready, even if it jumped at you. You wouldn't die. You had this. "Do it"

"Prepare yourself Anon...FOR THIS!!!" Discord pulls the sheets off the large figure.

You're rock steady preparation was instantly broken. What you saw… he was right… you weren't expecting it at all. "I-is that...?"

What stood before you wasn't a stone monster. It wasn't a hideous formed creature. No, It was a three part statue. a stone Discord with a fez and robe was smoking from a pipe, standing over and smiling down at a stone Fluttershy who was laying on her belly, covering a stone you with her stone wing as you slept.

...You couldn't say a damn thing. Your mouth just hung open. Discord moved close to you, and gently closed your mouth. Smiling a jovial smile "Did I win?"

...No way. You go over to the statue and look it over. The detail, the craftmanship....the feels… "Discord… what is all this?"

"It's a series of statues...what does it look like?"

"No no...I mean. What's with the scene. It's Fluttershy. It's as if-"

"We're a family?" Discord nods "That's what you were going to say, right?"

You silently nod, still examining it.

"No doubt you're wondering why too. Well Anon. I felt, since the three of us get along so well and consider ourselves a family of sorts. I felt I should make something that perfectly represents it. What do you think?"

You were amazed. "It's… really good. It's just. It's also really serene and nice. I didn't expect this at all. It… I mean, just looking at it. I know I've never been a pony before… but this scene feels nostalgic. It makes me feel… well… eh..." You stop. " i'm sounding like a nerd"

Discord rested his back in mid air and looked up at the ceiling. "Oh no no, do go on. I want to hear ALL your critique"

You hesitate, it seemed really dorky to you. But...he wasn't insulting you...maybe it'd be good to let your guard down. just this once. "It makes me feel the feels Discord. This whole thing makes it seem that we're an actual family. And you know, it… well… considering I'm pretty much starting my life over from scratch, looking at this just makes me kind of wish it was actually like this… you know?"

Discord span in mid air to straighten himself out and flew over to the statue "Well Anon, I am quite happy with your review of my statue set. As for your feelings. It may not actually be like this. But I do like to consider us friends, and I know Fluttershy is already affectionate with you already. Come now, you're an adult deep inside. What you have should be good enough, don't you think? You are the luckiest being of your race, remember that."

You were… He was right. Expecting more than what you already have is selfish. And now that you had the freedom. You could do so much more for you… OH SHIT!


You look over to Discord and run under your door "DISCORD, I GOTTA GO! I GOT SOME SHIT TO DO!"

Discord wasn't insulted or annoyed, and just waved at you "Good luck Anon, I hope you enjoy your new door. Don't forget your map so you can get back"

You rush up the gravity stairs, and then look down at Discord one last time "I won't...and..really good work on that statue Discord! Seeya later! Take care!..geez shit!"

You close the door,and look for your map. It seems to have changed back from a portal to a map and fell to the ground. You grab it, put it in your saddle bag, and change the dial to the Ponyville setting, open the door. and dash off.

Time to set things right.

Chapter 47

View Online

You look left and right, getting your bearings.

"Ok… first thing's first. I gotta go get Diamond Tiara… Because I don't know where Silver Spoon lives." You pull out your map and give it a look. "Let's see… her house isn't marked. But I remember it being in this direction. All I gotta do is get in this general area and I should be able to figure it out"

You close the map and put it in your saddle bag. You look behind you to close the door. But it had already vanished.

"...Right… temporary door. Probably to make sure nobody else uses it." You look around, a few ponies seem to be staring at you awkwardly. "...Gotta stop talking to myself out loud… uhh..."

You just dash off without saying another word. The ponies that were around you just shrugging and going on with their day.

It takes a while, as you get lost once or twice, but you manage to to find the correct road and head straight to DT's house.

As you get closer, you look at yourself. You brush off your chest and lick your hoof and try slicking back your mane. It doesn't really work, you use your hoof to feel your mane and get a general idea of how it looks. "Eh...good enough..I think..." Or maybe it wasn't? "I need a mirror so badly right now..."

You rush up to the door, you were a little anxious. You just had to get DT and SS together and talk to them. shouldn't be too hard. No matter who answered the door, you were pretty much welcome here now, and you were a hero. A definite plus.

You take a breath. and knock on the door. You wait.

The door opens. But who is behind it is not DT, nor Filthy Rich, not even a was...some oldish looking purple maned pony with a haggish nose… who the fuck? Probably some background pony you missed.

" Diamond Tiara here right now?" It was early, she had to be home.

But… even then. This pony said nothing. She looked down at you, with judging eyes. What was with her? "Anon...I presume?"

...oh shit..she knows you somehow… well wait duh. Of course she would. Word was spreading after all.

You give her a cute childlike smile. "Yup! Hello miss… ummm"

But she didn't react to your whimsical words or your smile. In fact, it seemed to make her look more… snooty... and even sinister.

"Hmph… save it. What business does somepony like you have with my daughter?"

Wait… DAUGHTER?! No… This couldn't be… No way...

You quickly cataloged in your mind every pony you could think of. From Golden Delicious to Harshwinny… nope… no Filthy Rich wife.

Whoever she was. She didn't look pleased that you were there. The vibes you got from her were vibes you didn't even sense from Diamond was dark.

"Umm… Well, I just wanted to talk to her Miss Rich ma'am."

"...ahhh, it wouldn't be about the relations with her best friend...would it?"

Ok...that was....very creepy. Her face was unchanging too, she was just… eyeing you with a look of disapproval.

"Y-yeah… but, how did you know about that?"

"It's not so hard to find out when the poor little dear comes knocking at the door in the very early morning begging for my precious daughter's friendship back. Of course, hearing how it happened. I couldn't help but intervene and make sure their friendship was mended."

Goddamn it Silver Spoon… no fucking self control. Still… that was mighty convenient, and actually cool of this scary looking mare…

Still, you had to talk to DT about her feelings for you. " Diamond Tiara home then?"

She shook her head, but her eyes… they never stopped looking down on you. "She's at school, somewhere you should be. But of course, a delinquent urchin like yourself wouldn't be there. No, you'd instead come here. Trying to further your insidious little plot."

What… what did she? Where the fuck did that come from? You were caught off guard. "U-umm, what?"

She stepped closer to you, her presence. This wasn't like Diamond Tiara or Discord. You could sense actual full hatred. You've never seen someone look down on you like this before...not even on the show have you seen this come from a pony.

"Don't play innocent with me. Do you honestly believe that some markless, unwanted, little thug would be adopted by Equestria's most heinous degenerate simply to be "Father and Son". And then… by chance… meet my daughter and share a punishment engineered by said degenerate. Who most likely… somehow… coaxed my husband into it. And then… oh so conveniently… beat down some lowly foalnappers… who just appeared from seemingly nowhere to kidnap my daughter? Tell me Anon, should I continue? Or have you realized how obvious you and your father's little plot is?"

No… you knew what she was getting at. And she was… mostly kind of wrong. She was obviously thinking you were trying to get a piece of the pie. When you were just looking for a way out of an initial fuck up you made.

"Look, I don't know what you think. But whatever it is. You're wrong."

She she snorts her nose at you. "Oh really? The fact that my daughter is even infatuated with you was enough for me to realize what was truly going on. But you see Anon, I'm her mother… and you are gutter trash. And your title of "Little hero" is a laughable farce. All I had to do was nip that infatuation in the bud and that was that. You and your father's plan has failed. So whatever you planned to do here, it's over."

...That was exactly what you were trying to do. But you couldn't celebrate… this bitch. Holy shit, no sense of kindness in her.

You were starting to lose your patience, and you looked her directly in the eye. "Look, I know what you're getting at. And I promise you, I really promise. I was just trying to get your daughter not to be "infatuated" with me anymore and to get her to be friends with Silver Spoon again. So, can we just take a step back. Smile, and uhh...try greeting eachother again?"

She stopped for a moment. ok..good progress... But her face, it doesn't stop it's look of utter disgust. "So you say. Alright, I'm actually a very understanding mare..."

Ok… Sorta good… So why did she look so disgusted with you still. "Let's assume what you say IS true. That would mean despite being a hero. You are still a foul tongued little beast who simply got lucky. And in your luck, you caused two fillies with an actual future to lose their friendship due to your careless actions. Furthermore, you seem to think you can do whatever you wish. I had to come all the way from Manehatten to fix the series of mistakes you caused. And what do you do? You just come here, thinking you can just talk to my daughter and destroy her heart. And do you know what I find most vile about this "Truth"?"

You were afraid to answer. the hell… The fucking hell?!

She moved her head closer to yours, and made sure your eyes were locked to hers before she spoke. "That my Diamond Tiara would even associate with vermin like you. You are nothing but a blank flank that nopony wanted. Filth picked up by one who surrounds himself in it. And your sense of etiquette is so nonexistent that you let this chain of events happen without thinking once that there could be consequences. As expected from a blank flank thug."

You were silent… not because there was a possibility that she was right. But… holy shit. She was the opposite of Filthy Rich and was just Diamond Tiara turned up to eleven.

She lifted her head and took a breath, her eyes never leaving yours "Now then, I am not unreasonable. You are still a child after all. I am willing to overlook your careless errors on one condition..."

You had to shake your head. Who the FUCK did she think she was?! You wanted to deck her so goddamn hard. How the fuck dare she. But… No… No no… you couldn't. But… why?! Discord was pretty damn powerful. If he had just fucking fixed it or something. or not go so roundabout in his execution. This wouldn't have happened. Or hell, just snap his talons and make this bitch shut her fucking trap. But… he made it clear that your mistakes would be on you. And he worked so hard… sorta… on getting himself a better reputation for the sake of Fluttershy. Ogh… you couldn't smack this bitch. No matter how hard you wanted to. But… the fuck? She seemingly just poofs out of nowhere and is just the worst fucking pony ever.

You sigh deeply, letting your anger leave you as much as possible. And just ask. "What?"

"You will NEVER go near my daughter, my husband, or this home again. The same with your disgusting father. Because If I ever find out that you made any kind of contact. I will make sure you don't even know the MEANING of the word "parent". Trust me Anon, having your papers be re-reviewed is very easy for an upstanding pony such as myself "

Christ… Well… you didn't really, sort of plan to. But, that was just. How could Filthy have married this chick? No wonder Diamond Tiara was an asshole. "Fine, I can do with that..."

You wanted to finish with "and to hell with your fucking shitty ass family"...but you held your tongue. One to avoid her taking action, another because the only good one in the whole family was ironically the guy making the most fucking money.

"Good, now turn around and leave… I've already wasted too much time on you as is."

...This bitch. How could she even live up to that threat? Your dad was fucking Discord. And Twilight herself reviewed the papers and even became the "social worker". There's no way she could live up to it. But if your saturday morning senses have taught you anything. Background people were stupid and would raise their torches and pitchforks at anything a bitch like this put to the table. Otherwise, this would be the only real pony you could think of that you'd give zero shits dying.

And because of that. you played nice. But your blood was boiling. You felt, if she added Fluttershy to the mix, that the gloves would have come off. And you would have destroyed her there and then. didn't want to say anything more. You simply nod. But you make sure to give her the nastiest look you could, to let her know you didn't approve. But she just smiled back at you. Her first smile, just of her triumph.

...Bitch... if it wasn't for the fact that she had a significant hold on others opinions… or the fact that you think she has… you really would just consider slamming her shit in for that crap. She turns and looks back at you, waiting for you to leave the premises. Getting the hint, you step away, and leave. Anger bubbling inside of you.

You wander off in an aimless direction. Silently cursing whoever that was. You didn't even get her name. The bitch wasn't even courteous enough to give a goddamn name.

"...bitch… cunt… faggot… how dare she? I'm fucking ten times the fucking pony she is. Fuck, I'm not even originally a pony and I can outsmart any of these guys… I have saturday morning smarts dammit… and yet I couldn't fucking outtalk that smug bitch… ugh, I feel like a cuck..."

You frown, holy shit. You were now really down. You find a silent and secluded spot to sit. and raise your right hoof and look at it.

"...and even with all my smarts I couldn't win that confrontation… Because I'm a kid here. Christ, is this how spongebob felt in the movie?" You lay back against the wall. "Whatever, it's fine...." It wasn't. "Diamond Tiara is out of my hair, and I'm free to do whatever I want… That's a plus… So why do I still feel like shit? It's not as if that meeting should have meant anything to me… she just basically did my job for me..."

But you knew why. She slammed your shit in verbally. And, you even felt it for Discord. She didn't hold back for him, or even you despite your new form. If that came from Chrysalis or Tirek, you probably wouldn't have cared at all, they were just villains after all. But this bitch just popped out of nowhere, and being a Rich. She could possibly go through with her threat and ruin everything...

You slumped forward, looking down. "...What a cruddy day..." You didn't even feel like doing much else. Who knows what the Mane 6 are up to?... Probably busy...

...Maybe you could hang out with Lyra and Bon Bon again? They didn't seem so bad. You kind of wanted to try to hang with Ponk or even Fluttershy. But you didn't want to worry Fluttershy. And you didn't want Ponk to know you were sad just because she might make it into a bigger thing. You just wanted this to be contained.

You pull out your map, and point your hoof towards the location of where you first met them. That was Bon Bon's house. Yeah, they'd probably wonder why you aren't at school. But eh, easily explainable. Since you weren't going quite yet.

Chapter 48

View Online

You start to head over to Bon Bon's house. But you still couldn't get a sense of happiness from having a visit.

...Whoever that pony was. She was unusually vicious. And it actually hurt you. You had no idea why. You shouldn't care at all. She even did you a favor even. And yet, the way she just made you feel.

It was probably perhaps she was right to some degree that there was indeed deception involved. Or maybe it was just the fact that she demolished you verbally and you couldn't do anything about it. Whatever it was, You didn't like it. It made you angry and frustrated when you tried to reason with yourself that you had no reason to actually be upset. Though, you did worry what would happen if the CMC ran into her. If you felt this bad, you couldn't imagine how they would feel.

Hopefully, Bon Bon and Lyra's company could cheer you up. You reach Bon Bon's door, and put on a big smile. "Relax Anon....she just said some nasty words, it doesn't mean shit. Just get on with your day." You take a breath. And knock on the door.

It takes a moment, But the door opens, revealing Bon Bon, who had a saddle bag to her side, she raised an eyebrow to your presence. "Anon?... Why are you here? Shouldn't you be in school?"

...Ohh… Not the greeting you were hoping for. It just kind of made you feel even more shitty. Your ears droop as you rub the side of your right front leg. "Ummm. Actually, I am not scheduled to go to school until like a day or two..I forget. But, all my other friends are at school. So I was wondering...if I could hang out with you and Lyra today. You guys are really nice."

Those words seemed to put a melancholic expression on Bon Bon's face. "Anon, we only met once. Are you sure there's not any closer friends you can hang out with that are… more your age?"

Ouch… but… she was right. You couldn't exactly be considered close just through one meeting. Well… you might as well go home and sleep until the afternoon. "...I'm sorry, I'll just leave you two alone then."

You begin to turn, and right as you are about to turn around. You hear a "Wait!"

"Look..." Bon Bon noticed you were hurting, she didn't know why. But she didn't mean to turn you away. "I didn't mean you couldn't hang out with us..I was just wondering why you just wanted to hang out with us. Looking at your face though… let me guess… something went wrong with that whole mess you got stuck with ,huh?"

...Yes and no..You didn't want to talk about it too much. You just wanted it out of your head. That was the whole point anyway. To not have to worry about being stuck with DT anymore. "...I'd rather just not talk about it."

Bon Bon nods, she was curious as to what happened. But given your attitude, she wouldn't press it now. She'd try later, she thought. "Ok, wow. I don't think I've ever seen a colt so down before… I hope we can cheer you up somehow, because all we were going to do was go and look at some hats, and maybe buy one."

"That's fine" No matter how you tried, internally. You couldn't cheer yourself up. This was absurd. You've been depressed a shitton of times before, and made fun of plenty. Why should this be any different.

You may have not been able to figure it out. But the truth of it was the fact that you weren't much of a success back in the human world. And what this pony did, she made you feel just as worthless as a pony as you did as a human. An inescapable feeling.

Bon Bon stepped out, and started to head off to a hat store "Well… follow me then. Lyra is actually waiting for us there. She just kind of wanted a hat out of the blue. Had to run home to get myself some bits just in case I wanted one too. I… I wouldn't mind sparing some my bits to get you one if you wanted."

Bon Bon examines your face for some improvement. Nothing.

" it's fine...I still have some money of my own" You tell her as you look back at your saddlebag

Bon Bon felt incredibly awkward. She was just going to have a day with her best friend. She didn't think you would show up in such a depressed state. She was in fact. A little annoyed. But seeing you so depressed and downtrodden. She couldn't figure out if the advice she gave you backfired or it was just your rotten luck. And she didn't want to just send you away. She did want to try to cheer you up in some way. "So Anon, do you like Ponyville so far?"

"It's great… It's a place I always wanted to live in" You didn't sound so enthused though.

"Right..Anon, look. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? It might help"

You felt it wouldn't. You were slowly starting to pinpoint in your mind why you felt like shit. you just couldn't make any final connections. "...I'm fine. You wouldn't understand..."

"Wouldn't understand? Anon, I was a filly once too. Why don't you try me? I may not look it, but you'd be surprised how much I actually know. You can say that I'm… good at picking up intel."

To anyone else, that may have not been a hint to anything. But you knew… agent Sweetie Drops. Still… you didn't feel like saying too much. " really. it's fine. It's not a big deal."

Nope… Bon Bon wanted to bring you out of this funk before Lyra saw you. She didn't want her to be brought down by your negativity. "Says the Gloomy Griffon. If it wasn't a big deal, you wouldn't be acting like this. Tell you what, if you tell me what's wrong… I'll give you something cool… something I think a colt like you would really like."

...hrn?... Ok… She's got your attention. What could she possibly give you that's "cool"? "...Really?... Like what?"

"Well… colts like cool stuff that adventurers use right?... Well I've got a… hrn.." Bon Bon reached into her saddlebag and pulled out her emergency grappling launcher. "..grappling hook… that I won at a carnival..." She gives you a smile, you swear you hear a squee.

...Well, that makes things more obvious. And… that was super tempting. A grappling hook launcher?... you could be like batman, and spy on shit… Yeah, that was cool. Maybe eavesdrop on some juicy conversations and find out if ponies are as innocent as they seem on the show. "That… does look pretty cool."

Bonbon gave you a sly smile "And It can be yours, if you just talk about what's got you so down."

...Sparkle sparkle..

"...Ok ok… umm, I went to Diamond Tiara's house to see if she was home. I was gonna get her to take me to Silver Spoon so I could talk to both of them… but I didn't realize at the time they were all at school. And I… I ran into her mom."

Bonbon then realized what was up "You ran into Spoiled Rich?... Well… that explains it."

...So that's her name… Fitting. "Explains what? I've never even heard of her. She wasn't there when I visited before."

"She wouldn't be, she has been in Manehatten for awhile now. I didn't realize she came back to Ponyville. hrnnn..." Bonbon seemed surprised that she missed that she was there.

"...what's with her? Do you know her?"

"Never met… but uhm… I've read she's a lot more socially oriented than her husband. Keeping good relations with the wives of other major business owners and holding major social events from time to time. Manages the subsidiaries of Barnyard Bargains too since Mr.Rich likes to stay here and handle the old store . Rumor has it she's not very accepting of ponies she deems… lower than her… but that's just what I've heard."

...That was an understatement. "She said some really horrible stuff to me. She even called me vermin… I mean. She did the things I was gonna do anyway. You know, fixing the friendships I messed up and all. But she only did it because apparently she thinks I did it on purpose or something. But, most of all, the things she said… It felt so… familiar.."

"...As if you heard them before? You poor guy..." Bonbon felt a sense of despair from your words. "...Did you have trouble at the orphanage?"

...More like..your old life. "..You can say that. I tried making friends, but it felt like the only friends I could make were ones I never actually met."

Bonbon didn't quite understand what you meant by that. Imaginary friends? She started to think that Discord picked you to save you. A noble gesture indeed. " never made any real friends?"

...You did, on the internet. "I guess it depends on what you mean by that. I mean, it wasn't that bad… Not the way you put it anyway."

Bonbon doubted your words. She couldn't imagine what it was like not having a single friend, nor any parents to make you feel loved. "Anon, do you want my advice on all this?"

You look up at her. Awaiting to see how much she truly understood. Your ears still drooped.

Bon Bon gently puts her hoof on your head and gives you a gentle smile "You shouldn't worry about where you came from. And you shouldn't worry about what Spoiled Rich said to you. She may be part of the "Elite". But with a name like hers, well. You can see how much it fits, right?" Bonbon gave you a giggle "Now if only we could change her last name to "Rotten" , right?"

A simple joke… But, It made you smile a little. Bonbon's advice was something you were already trying to do. But hearing it from someone else. It put things into a more positive scope. Since it meant she didn't care about your past. She just cared for what she saw. This was probably the same for Fluttershy and the CMC

Your old life, whether it be the perceived orphanage or your real old life back on earth. It was gone. You could never return, not unless it was on Discord's whim… And he didn't seem keen on sending you back; If that set of statues was any indication. In fact, the more time you spent with him. The friendlier her got. And in turn, you liked spending time with him. Despite his pranks, he was your friend. Just like the CMC made you their friend. Pinkie, even meeting her once, was your friend. And now you even made friends with BG pones. It may seem sappy. But what you lacked in "Proper Etiquette", as Spoiled put it, you made up in the fact you actually had something that mattered… friendship. And it was something you wanted to build upon… Oh christ… Friendship really was magic!

You look up at Bonbon, as a smile creeps on your face. "Spoiled Rotten? Eh, too easy. Why not just "Stool Pigeon"."

It took Bonbon a moment, but then she got it and laughed "Hahaha, Anon, do you realize how vulgar that is?"

You nod, with a bigger smile. "Dunno, it might not be vulgar enough actually."

Bonbon laughed again, and ruffled up your mane with her hoof "alright alright, let's not overdo it. I don't think other ponies would find this funny. So… feel better?"

...You did. You didn't expect that from Bonbon. She must have picked it up from... whatever she does… Bonbon opened up your saddlebag and slipped in the grappling hook launcher "Well, a deal is a deal. Here it is! My grappling launcher… that I won at a carnival. Make sure to keep it lubed up before you use it to prevent it from getting stuck, ok?"

You nod. Should be easy enough to remember. "Thanks Bonbon...I promise to take good care of it. I can't wait to try it out!"

Bonbon had to warn you, she didn't want you to get too excited "Anon, make sure you practice with it first. Real low to the ground stuff. You could get hurt if you just shoot it anywhere...." She had a feeling she shouldn't have even given it to you. "And don't shoot it at anypony either"

And you could tell she had some regret in passing it along to you. She jumped the gun yeah. But you knew how to be responsible.

"Don't worry, I'll be really careful and practice until I feel comfortable enough to shoot it higher. Trust me, I won't do anything reckless."

Bonbon felt a little reassured "There's that high intelligence again, any other colt would just go shooting that thing off left and right. You promise to be careful?"

You nod. "You can count on me. I'll even make sure to use it by myself so I don't put anypony else in danger of me shooting it at them or something"

Bonbon cringed "Right… Yeah, that would be bad… hmmnn… Just be super careful.."

You and Bonbon walked over to the hat shop. hrn, there was a small gathering of ponies at the entrance.

And, the moment you and bonbon entered the vicinity, a familiar mint pony started jumping up and down from within the crowd. "Bonbon! Bonbon! Over here, I saved us a spot!" With another hop, she then noticed you "Anon! hey! Cool! Now we can all get hats!"

...Heh… she didn't even care that you weren't in school. The moment she saw you, she just included you in like it was no big deal. It made you smile all the more.

Chapter 49

View Online

"Heya Anon! Did you come for the hat sale?" Lyra asked with a cheerful smile. Well, that explains the small gathering. There was a sale.

Well, considering you were feeling better. You guessed that's what you were there for. You nod. "Yup, came to find me a cool and stylish looking hat."

Bonbon smiled, she was happy to hear in your tone that you were no longer in a slump. "A cool and stylish looking hat, huh? Did something change? Or do you just want to impress somepony?" Lyra teased

"Oh no no, I just want to try on hats and find one that looks really nice on me."

"Ooohhhh, I getcha." Lyra nods, then looks to Bonbon "What kind of hat are you gonna get Bonbon?"

Bonbon smiled. "I was thinking we could get matching hats. I want to have the same and best kind of hat that my best friend would have"

"Oh. My. Celestia! I was thinking the same thing!" Lyra cheered

"Best friends!" They both cried as they gave eachother a hug. Cute.

You could hear the bustle of other ponies within the small crowd. Talking about what hats they want, or getting one to replace another. It seems the front door wasn't open. But you could see a meek mare inside with a greyish white coat. A green mane, and was wearing a red top hat. She was putting up a sign that said "All hats off between 50-75%! Only today. Last year's Nightmare Night's hats are 85% off." This sign got everyone excited as the shopkeep went to the door.

"Oh my gosh! Check that out! That's practically a steal! You'd think there would be more ponies around" Lyra smiled, excited that the doors were going to open soon.

"Well, the sale was only advertised yesterday. I guess not that many ponies need hats." Bonbon added, she wasn't as jumpy or bubbly about this as Lyra

"Why so cheap though? Surplus of hats?" You asked

Bonbon nodded "That's my guess since the sale includes hats from last year's Nightmare Night."


You shouldn't be surprised. Most ponies you've seen don't even wear clothes. You only really saw a bigger mass of clothes wearing ponies in Canterlot.

And with that, the doors finally open as a rush of ponies rush into the door. You nearly get trampled until you feel yourself get lifted up into the air. "Ahh! What, huh?!"

Lyra's horn was glowing, she gave an annoyed look at the crowd "Sheesh, talk about a morning rush. You ok, Anon?"

You look down on her, awww… She protected you from being mushed. You nod at her and smile "Thanks Lyra, yeah I'm fine."

Bonbon shook her head "I swear, sales like these brings out the worst in ponies"

Lyra gently puts you down and looks towards her friend "I know, but let's not let it put us down. Come on, Let's buy some hats!"

The three of you enter the hat store. And… there was actually quite a wide selection to choose from. The store itself was cozy with red carpet and red painted walls with a small chandelier on top. It seemed to go with the shopkeep's Red top hat. She herself was at the register, already dealing with customers.

The hats themselves were plentiful. Top hats, caps, bowler hats, fedoras, bonnets, Adventurer hats like Daring Do or Indiana Jones, cowboy hats, and even party hats. In the Nightmare Night section were things like knight helmets, witch's hats, tiaras and crowns, Wonderbolt replica goggles, and even a few masks.

"Wooooooow! I don't even know where to start!" Lyra was looking every which way, she was so giddy

Bonbon was slowly scanning the shop "Well, let's just look through it one by one until we find the one we want.. hmmmnn..." Bonbon picks up a Fedora and shows it to you "How about this Anon, it looks pretty classy"

You hold back a cringe, and just smile nervously. Nope, you learned the curse of the neckbeard when it came to those things. "O-oh, it looks classy… but ummm, I'm looking for something just a little different."

Bonbon shrugs "Suit yourself"

Lyra was quickly trying on hat after hat. She put on a sun hat with a green ribbon around it and looked in the mirror… aww… with a white sun dress she'd look adorable. "Bonbon, Anon! Lookie lookie! Don't I look great in this?"

She turned to the both of you with a radiant smile that matched the look of the sunhat. Unf...

Bonbon nodded with a smile "That looks great!do they have one with a ribbon that matches my mane? I wouldn't mind wearing one of these during a hot day."

Lyra could only see ones with green ribbons. But she just continued smiling "Nope, but it's not like we can't just add that ribbon ourselves. What do you think Anon?"

"It looks really nice Lyra. It actually looks really cute on you."

Lyra's smile became a little more of the sensual sort as she giggled "Cute huh? Are you sure you don't have a crush on me?"

G-geez, come on. Don't do that… unf. You blush and start looking in different directions as to not focus on her face, She was giving you the bedroom eyes. "N-no, I just think it looks cute."

Both Bonbon and Lyra giggled. "Come on Lyra, don't tease him. If you keep that up he might really get a crush on you. And if that happens, then what are you going to do?"

Lyra giggled "I don't know, but it would be nice to have a box of chocolates every now and again."

Bonbon laughed "Lyra, that's terrible!"

...Oooogghhhh… You were getting them funny feelings. You wouldn't mind sticking your colt dick into Lyra at all… If only she was serious about it. Agh… Lewd thoughts. You had to turn away completely and just look at some random hats. "I'm uhh...just gonna look for a hat for myself."

Lyra laughed, she was just having fun with you. Nothing mean. But she may have overdone it a little. "Ok Anon, me and Bonbon our going… wait… Do you have any money on you to get a hat?"

You turn your head and nod. While in the corner of your eye, you noticed something peculiar at the window.

"Yup, and looking at these prices. I can definitely afford anything here. " You take your time browsing as Lyra and Bonbon get in line.

As you search, you look out the window… You thought you saw the CMC chasing down Diamond Tiara… Nah… That's insane. "huh..."

You go back at browsing through hats and pick up the indiana jones hat and try it on. "This… this would be the only fedora I'd wear… but eh.." You put it down. "Still...I need something better..."

You continue to browse. You didn't need a top hat. You already had one of those… hrnn… You wondered how Lyra would react if you wore that little ensemble of class Discord gave you.

Hrnnnn… So many to choose from. You try a regular baseball, or… hoofball cap on. It's white with a black trim and end. You twist it backwards and look at yourself in the mirror. "Totally 90s.."

It didn't look that bad actually. It was simple and seemed to compliment your own cuteness. And it was one of the cheapest things to buy. Yeah, you'll take this one.

You head over to the Nightmare Night stuff. You were sure you didn't need any of these, since Discord probably would whip you up something that would be exactly as you described.

Then you notice something. There was a horn. It looked like Sombra's. It could have been the one that broke. But looking at the string connecting to it's sides meant that it was you were supposed to attach it to your head. It was definitely a replica. Still....even with the 85% off. It was pretty expensive. You wondered why. Kind of made you want to buy it. You open your saddle bag and get the pouch of bits and start counting. Yeah, Discord was pretty generous with this. You had enough. That was cool of him to give you that much money when he didn't have to. Then again… he probably never needed money.

You take the horn and walk up to Bonbon and Lyra. They let you into the line, and the other ponies around don't seem to protest. good good. "Well, I'm gonna get this cap and this Sombra horn."

Lyra looked at the Sombra horn "What's with the horn Anon? That isn't a hat"

You shrugged. "It was from the Nightmare Night section. Thing's pretty expensive too even with the huge discount."

Bonbon rubbed under her muzzle, perplexed "That's weird, it's just a silly looking horn. I wonder why it would cost so much."

"Dunno… just gonna ask the shopkeep about it when it's my turn to pay" And with that you three wait.

As you wait, Lyra magically slips her sunhat on you and has a bit of a giggle. mentioning that you looked pretty girly with it on. You laugh a little, but feel embarrassed enough to take the sunhat right off and put it on her head instead. Nuh uh, you weren't no girl.

After Lyra and Bonbon got their sunhats, it was time for you to pay. You put the Sombra Horn on the counter and ask the shopkeep about it.

"Excuse me ma'am, what's with the price on this horn?"

The meek young mare with the silly red top hat looks at it, then at you. She looked nervous. Not about the horn, but in general. "That's a magically infused horn. You put it on your forehead and give it a tap and it creates an illusionary ethereal mane and dark magic filled eyes. Of course, the illusion isn't complete unless you get a costume with it too… Sad nopony bought it, everypony was big on the whole Tirek thing that nobody cared about poor Sombra..."

Suddenly everybody gave the shopkeep an odd, shocked look. She looked left and right nervously "I-I meant about the horn...n-not the actual Sombra." With collectives "ohhs" and "ahh rights" they went back to their business.

"So… if I just put it on my head, I'll look all evil and stuff?" You ask.

The shopkeep nodded. You started to think on why you'd even need the horn. Actually, you could probably use it for something… maybe even ask Discord to give it a few enhancements… for reasons.

You buy the cap and the horn and put the horn in your saddlebag as you put the cap on your head and slip it backwards… Totally 90s. The three of you, with no more business to attend to, decide to walk out. walking in a seemingly aimless direction.

Lyra looks to her friend with a smile "I can't wait for you to get that ribbon on your hat Bonbon, I won't even wear mine until you do!"

Bonbon had carefully slipped her sunhat into her saddlebag and looked to her friend. "I might get a ribbon from the Carousel Boutique. I'm sure Rarity would have a ribbon that naturally blends into my mane colors "

Lyra nods "That's a great idea!, Rarity always has the highest quality ribbons!"

You had no way to join in on this conversation really. So you just pondered to yourself. You were feeling better now of course. You had a neato horn, this hat, and a fucking grappling hook. A GRAPPLING HOOK! But still, you were still a little bothered by Spoiled Rich, but not enough to ruin your mood.

And then there was, what you thought you saw, was Diamond Tiara running from the CMC. But that's just fucking insane. If anything,they'd be running away from her. You could have sworn you even heard singing.....crrazzzyyy

It seems the duo had actually decided to go to the Boutique. Bonbon looked at you, she wanted to say something on how you were feeling. But she didn't want her best friend to catch on. So she decided on some light conversation. "So Anon, are you going to get any alteration on your cap?"

You shake your head. "Maybe, I wouldn't mind my name being on the front of it."

Bonbon giggled. "Isn't that a little narcissistic?"

You shrug and smirk. "Well, I like to think of myself as great sometimes."

"Well I think you're pretty great. We all get along so well! And you're one smart cookie Anon. Don't let anypony tell you different" Lyra added.

Hah… You were sure the only other pony who would call you a smart cookie anyway was Pinkie Pie. Which, you had to hang out with at sometime at some point.

The three of you reach the Carousel Boutique, Bonbon goes and knocks on the door. But no answer "Hmmm, that's weird. She's usually always here at this time"

Lyra shrugged "Maybe she's busy. She is one of Princess Twilight's best friends and I've seen her running around a lot more lately, maybe she's helping Princess Twilight with setting up the Friendship Festival?"

Bonbon took a moment to think, and then nodded "Yeah, that's probably it. Darn, and I really wanted that ribbon."

You are staring up at the sky, the sun was pretty ways away from being straight up, all that walking from place to place and being at the hat shop really ate up some time. It was afternoon already.

"Hey, what time is it?"

They both shrugged, they didn't have any timekeeping device on them. Lyra looked up at the sun, then back at you "You got somewhere else to be Anon?"

You nod. "Yeah, told a few friends of mine I'd be at their place after they got out of school"

Window Washing… oh boy…

Bonbon and Lyra nodded to themselves. "Well, don't let us keep you. Go meet up with your friends." Bonbon said

Lyra came up to you and gave you a hug "You take care Anon, don't go finding any more bad guys to beat up now."

Awww, you hug her back… she's so sweet. "I won't, and thanks again for the grappling hook Bonbon, I promise to take good care of it!" You turn and rush off as you hear Lyra getting surprised about Bonbon giving away her Grappling Hook.

As you walk off, you pull out your map. again, the clubhouse was there but not marked. But the Apple Family Farm was marked and definitely easy to find. You'd have no trouble finding the Treehouse on your own.

After some time, you reach the farm and crossover without being noticed by any of the apple family members… actually. You didn't see any of them around the farm. Then again...besides Applebloom, theres only three apples. And the farm was huge. They could be at the orchard.

You make your way to the Treehouse and rise up the sloped boards to the door. You take a look around to see if their was any equipment for window washing. None..

"Huh… stuff must be inside." You knock. "Hey girls, it's me Anon!"

You hear Applebloom from across the door "Anon?! Heya! Come in, come in! Me and the girls got a surprise!"

...She sounded… Really excited, what… for Window Washing? How desperate were they?....So simple minded.

You chuckle to yourself, and open the door. "What? Did we get some super good cleaning gear for the window wa… hmm?”

You noticed there was no equipment inside either. And the girls were just standing there, they looked ready to explode. They were standing in a row. Angling themselves in such an odd way that you could only see their faces and front. Maybe they hid something behind them?

"Umm..What's up girls?"

"Anon! We got some super good news!" Scootaloo cried out in mirth

"The best kind of news ever!" Sweetie Belle said next

"The best of best news, and the best part of it is now we can definitely help ya get your Cutie Mark too Anon!" Applebloom said with a bounce to her step.

You shift your eyes to the left and right… what?

"Uhmm, you mean… we get our Cutie Marks… right?"

The hell was going on?

"Alright girls, let's show him!" Applebloom cried out. They all shifted to show you their flanks.


......C-cutie Marks......


You… you didn't know what to say, what to feel… h-how?! "..A-are those real?"

Scootaloo nods "Mhmmm! We just got them today!"

"We can't wait to tell ya how we got them Anon, and the best part is what they mean… even for you. You'll have your Cutie Mark in no time flat!" Applebloom said with a wide smile.

...No… What could this mean? This had to be something you did… this… was a major break in status quo. You felt like gargling at the mouth at what you thought you done. You must have changed the timeline somehow for this to have happened. And if you did, who knows how badly it was changed?!

Your mind just passes through scenes super quick. To the point where you think that a villain might be able to win and destroy the Mane 6 just because of something you did. You were like homer in that old treehouse of horror special where he went back in time. You were horrified as to what this could mean.

"A-anon? Are you ok? Aren't you happy for us?" Applebloom said, her smile turning to a frown as she noticed you just frozen there.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo catch on and frown themselves.

"Hey, if you're jealous or something. Don't be, we didn't mean to make you mad" Scootaloo said

"Yeah, we didn't know this would happen either. And now that it has, we don't mind at all helping you get a Cutie Mark. We are all still Crusaders. So don't worry ok?" Sweetie Belle added.

...You almost don't hear them. This… this was too major a change.This would have never happened on the show, there was still like two seasons or something left...

"Girls...ahrm..I..I need to go check on something. D-don't worry alright? I just forgot something and I'll be right back, ok?"

"You're not upset with us, are ya Anon?" Applebloom said, she was feeling pretty bad now.

"W-what, n-no no. This… this is uhh… a really cool and neat thing… but I really REALLY… gotta go check on something" You edged near the door and opened it. "Don't go anywhere ok?... U-uhhh, just uhh, come up with... something to do for when I get back."

The three of them nodded, but that didn't boost their mood. But it did give them a huge resolve to think of something for you to help you get a Cutie Mark.

You go through the door, bust out your map, and beeline towards any body of water you could find. You had to find Discord, and find out what the fuck went wrong and what it could mean. They had their Cutie Marks… hell… you could have made DT's mom just pop out of thin air. This whole thing, christ, Equestria's dimension could be tearing at the seams now!

Gyaahh!... You had to get back home, post haste.

Chapter 50

View Online

You made a mad dash towards Sweet Apple Acres. They had to have a body of water somewhere. You run to towards the side of the barn, and begin your search. Breathing heavily, panicked on what you have done. You managed to find a few barrels, one was leaking… it wasn't cider… it was water. Good…

Without hesitation, you tip it over. it's top opening and spilling water all over the ground.
it was a big puddle, you didn't know if puddles would work. wasn't the time to be frugal. You toss the map into the puddle.

Eureka! It works! You hop into the portal as it closes behind you and turns back into a map.

"DISCORD! DISCORD! WE GOT A PROBLEM!" You cry out Discord's name as you open the floor door and rush through.

You fall right to the ground, headfirst on your seemingly invincible head. Still, it hurt like hell. You forgot to fucking do the whole "imagine the stairs" thing. "...Ugh… dammit, my head.."

"Anon! Quiet! Can't you see what I'm doing? One tiny mistake and this whole place can go… for the fifth time..."

Go?... What? You lift your head and notice Discord in a lab coat, wearing goggles as he carefully mixes some chemicals. Another hobby? "Discord...we got a problem!"

"I'll say, alchemy is tougher than I thought. But I think I got it this time" Discord says as he drops a black liquid into a beaker of red liquid, turning it white. "Finally! I got it!"

You shake your head and rush up to him. "No not that, Discord. Something terrible has happened!"

Discord lifts his goggles and looks at you, giving you his full attention "What is it Anon? I'm all ears"


Discord slowly raised his eyebrow at you "...That's by far the worst joke you've ever told. Why in the wide wide world of Equestria would that be a bad thing?"

"You don't understand, The status quo! I've changed it! What if things get worse! WHAT IF A VILLAIN ACTUALLY WINS AND BEATS THE MANE 6?!"

"...Anon, this is....very uncharacteristic of you. It's actually worrying to me" was off for you to be so paranoid. But, this was a major change. A change that could lead into things like actual pony death. You just didn't want to be responsible for it.

"Look, I know. But Discord… this is a big change. And yeah, it's good. I'm happy for them. But what if this means some really bad things happen too. I changed things!"

Discord put his paw to his face "Actually Anon, I changed things. By bringing you here and acknowledging the existence of other universes. I created a dimensional split between the world you know from the television screen to the world you see right now. And even then, it's merely a tiny split that causes a few minor differences. You Anon, would have to have done something extremely major and cause a huge impact in somepony's life to change things so far as to completely split the dimensions. For example, we are very close to the dimension that has that mirror. Everything is practically the same EXCEPT for that mirror and whatever hijinx Twilight found herself in when she went through it. In other words, you are worrying over nothing. Even if you did cause something major, it's not as if it couldn't be fixed. Please Anon, this isn't a cartoon."


"...Ok… but still. I don't think they were supposed to get their cutie marks so early. I'm sure I caused that. I was, well, I got a little panicky since..y'know. We were gonna mess with the changelings. What if that causes something really bad?"

"Then it will get fixed. Seriously Anon. you are reacting over nothing. How are you even sure you had anything really to do with them gaining their Cutie Marks?"

"Because, you said that "ideas" travel between dimensions and those become thoughts in other worlds. Well, if the show was based off ideas going into the writer's heads. I highly doubt this would be one of them. Shows just don't change status quo."

"Ahh, but not all ideas that flow are exact. But… I'm not in the mood to argue something this stupid" Discord floats his concoction up and floats it over to you. "Here, try this"

What?... Ugh, what did this have to do with anything? You give it a tap. "What is it?"

Discord closes his eyes and starts making presentation like gestures towards the potion "It is the fruits of my labor, well, of my new hobby anyway, This potion is a enhanced version of Zecora's little "Hindsight" potion that only seems to work on alicorns… for whatever reason. You know, I may be the spirit of chaos but even I can't wrap my head around that one. Anyhoo, this should let anypony look into the past of anything they deem important through any dimension. What I suggest you do is imagine the dimension with the mirror, since it's further along in the timeline, and your undue paranoia will do the rest."

You just stare at it. "...I don't know, does it even work?"

Discord shrugged. "Well, it didn't explode again like the other times. So....maybe. Bottoms up Anon."

"I don't think I wAGDRFDFDF" Discord magically shoved the potion into your mouth. forcing you to guzzle down every drop.

You push it out of your mouth and cough like crazy. "GNGGMM..DISCORD the?"

You weren't at the house anymore. You were at the schoolhouse...elections?..what?
there was elections going on. and a song battle between the CMC and DT over… who should be class president or something… Wait, is that Pipsqueak?

You try speaking to them, but none of them hear you. It's as if you weren't there. And… from there on things kept shifting as if you were watching the show. In fact, you see DT's mother interacting with DT… What a bitch… You see DT's song how… awww… what?... huh… so, she was pretty much forced to be that way… by this bitch of a mom.

As more scenes pass by you, you notice the CMC chasing DT down. In song... wait… so, you did see this!

You make a small detour, since they had to be near the hat shop at one point. You go to look in the window to see yourself. But… you weren't there. Lyra and BonBon weren't either, there wasn't even a sale going on…

...Then it hit you… All of Discord's words hit you as the scene shifts to the end, with the letter, DT converting… and the CMC getting their cutie marks. You didn't have anything to do with it at all. In fact, there were only minor changes between what you were seeing and what your day actually was. The only change you could have actually made is sabotaging them from getting the Cutie Marks… or maybe killing DT's mom just because… What a bitch… Geez. She didn't even show mercy to the CMC.

So… That's how it is. You think you got it now. Each dimension has it's differences, which ideas can flow between any. You being here may have split to a new dimension like the other two Discord had mentioned before. But you didn't make a big enough impact to change what was going to happen. At least, not with this.

God you were an idiot. You had it so set that you thought you were really in the show itself that you thought you nearly ruined it. When really you should have fully paid attention to Discord on this. This was just another world. If you remembered correctly, Discord mentioned there was a world he was never released and that Twilight never became an alicorn. That wasn't in the show either… Fuck… You were a fuckwit. And what's worse, you just left the CMC there during their excitement of getting to test their Cutie Marks Special Talents on you.

Everything around you begins to warp and spin as you find yourself back in the living room. on the ground, drooling and dizzy. You looked up, and saw Discord crying. Wiping his eyes and nose with a handkerchief… The hell?

You slowly got up. with your new understanding in your mind. And looked at Discord, worried. Did you scare him?

"D-discord...are you ok? Look, I'm ok. I'm not dead or anything. The potion worked." Wow, you were actually worried about how he was feeling. Heh...

"Oh it's not that Anon, I decided to peer into your brain and see what you saw. And what I was so… ohhooooo" Discord had to wipe his eyes and blow his nose again.

"Yeah… Who would've thought Diamond Tiara was pretty much forced to be that way, it was the only way her mom was teaching her. I guess anything Filthy Rich tried to do for her was circumvented by that cunt.."

"Oh it's not that… It's the fact that they remembered that it was me who broke the schoolhouse window. It was so sweet for them to remember!" Discord blew his nose again.

You roll your eyes, and nearly chuckle… until. "Wait hold on, you knew you broke their window and you just left it that way?"

Discord took out his eyes to wipe them dry "I did try to replace it, not my fault they didn't like a window that could sing jazzy tunes, I thought it would have been nice after what I had done."


You started to feel bad again though. You now had no reason to hate Diamond Tiara, just her cunt of a mother. You wondered what changes you did cause. You hoped you could talk to her again. You wanted to apologize for the mean things you said. For real this time. And then… there's the CMC… you might as well get back there and check on them, so they don't get upset that you suddenly left.

"Discord...can I get a favor from you, please?" Discord put his eyes back into his head as he started floating over more beakers and vials in front of himself to work on his next project.

"What is it Anon?"

"Can you send me directly back to the clubhouse. The doors are kind of out of the way, it'd take me a while to run back there."

Discord didn't even say a word. He just snapped his talons. Sending you right back in front of the door of the clubhouse.

"...thanks Discord. I owe you one, or two.."

You take a deep breath, ready to explain any questions they might have of you just running away with any good answer you could think of. If it's one thing you didn't want to mention is anything having to do with dimensions. Keep it simple.

You open the door, with a smile. "Hey girls, I'm back… just had to go to the bathroom… hahahaha… sorry."


Chapter 51

View Online

Applebloom tilted her head, confused "Ah thought you had to check on something?"

"I… had to check for bathrooms… haha… I couldn't find one close by"

"Anon, you coulda just asked to use ours, the farm is right over there you know" Applebloom looked like she wanted to laugh at you "You made it to a bathroom, right?"

...You nod. "Y-yeah, just in time too… hahahahaha… haha.. Ha… So yeah, those cutie marks..."

"Yeah! Hey Anon… you don't mind if we tell you how we got them, do you? We won't if you don't want us to, it's just… we're so excited!" Applebloom said, trying to do her best not to hurt your feelings.

You nod, this could be interesting. Since there’s bound to be some differences from what you saw when you drank that potion.

The three of them bounced up with glee. They looked pretty pleased. Then again, if you had to spend five seasons worth of episodes trying to get something seemingly anyone can get. You'd be ecstatic too.

"How about we tell him in turns?" Sweetie Belle suggested.

"That sounds like a great idea" Nodded Applebloom.

"Alright, then let me go first! A good story is only interesting if it has a cool sounding beginning" Scootaloo said in earnest.

And so they told you everything that happened that day. You just sat there, nodding. So far, it was pretty exact. Seems they are friends with Diamond Tiara now, who is no doubt dealing with a few things of her own at the moment. In fact, the only real difference you could discern from all this is that Diamond Tiara apparently also said something about being able to see who she pleases. hrn...wonder what that meant...

"So Anon, pretty cool right?" Scootaloo said as the three of them looked at you for a positive response.

You clap your front hooves together "Bravo girls! I gotta admit, that's a pretty cool story"

They all smiled happily from your comment. Scootaloo stating "See, told you it was a good idea to let me start"

"And now , we can start helping you get your Cutie Mark, Anon! We ain't done being Cutie Mark Crusaders" Applebloom stated as the three stepped up to you.

Scootaloo nodded "And with the three of us helping you out. You'll have yours in no time!"

But Sweetie Belle stopped, and looked to her fellow crusaders "Uhhh… girls? How exactly are we going to do it? We actually… we actually don't know much about Anon"

"No problem, all we gotta do is just sorta do a survey thing and we'll figure it out in no time!" Applebloom said

Scootaloo nodded, she liked that idea "Hey, that's an awesome idea, then we can pinpoint what we need to do to help Anon!"

Sweetie Belle took the initiative to get a notebook and pencil ready to write down anything that may be important "Let's do it then, I'll write up all of Anon's answers!"

Well, then. If it helps. "So uh, what kind of questions are you girls going to ask me then?"

"Ummm, ah haven't figured that out yet, you girls got anything?" Applebloom asked

"I got a few" Said Scootaloo, she looked at you with a determined intensity "Anon, I want you to answer these questions truthfully and honestly, got it?"

You nod to her. "Yeah, sure, honesty is my middle name."

Again, you had to think, could you even really get a cutie mark? Discord said you were a natural earth pony due to the power of the mirror… but did the same rules really apply?

"Ok then! First question, are you good on a scooter?" Was that a serious question?... Well, she looked serious.

You shook your head. "Never tried."

Scootaloo turned to Sweetie Belle "You're getting this right Sweetie Belle?"

Sweetie Belle nodded as she wrote both the question and your answer down with haste and precision "Yup!"

Scootaloo turned back to face you "Next question. What's your favorite thing to do in Ponyville? no.. no.. of all~ Equestria!"


"Uhmnn? Come on Anon, you gotta have a favorite something." Scootaloo expected an instant answer from you

"Well, uhmm..." You were drawing blanks, it's not as if you were from Equestria even… Still, maybe something from your world could fit into this, just tweak it a bit.

"Well...I like arcade games, I'm really good at them actually"

"Really good at them? How good?" Scootaloo was curious

"Well, I can 1cc Metal Sl-...a game"


"Oh, it means without using a continue, one credit clear basically, doing it in a single qua… ah, bit."

They all looked amazed at that, even Sweetie Belle had to stop writing. "Clearing an arcade game in a single bit? And you don't have a cutie mark? I don't know anypony that is THAT good"

Scootaloo was in awe. Applebloom was unsure however "That's the truth right Anon? Ya can really do that?"

You nod. "Yeah, I did it quite a couple of times back home. Had to practice a lot though."

"And yet… no cutie mark… hmmm" Scootaloo was thinking deeply, there had to be a reason. "If you don't have a cutie mark based on that… Then whatever your cutie mark actually is… it must be pretty amazing..."

"Well, there’s no reason for Anon to lie about that… but, I just wonder… hmm, Anon, are ya good at anything else?" Applebloom asked

Good at anything else? "Well...I was really good at dodgeball as a k-... I'm really good at dodgeball."

"Dodgeball huh? Do you like dodgeball?" Scootaloo asked

"It's alright, not something I'd want as a cutie mark though."

"Well, it wouldn't be that bad. We have dodgeball leagues, not in Ponyville, but we could sign you up for a tournament in Manehatten if you're really really good, we can even train you. What do you think girls?" Scootaloo turned to her crusaders

"That sounds like fun! I'm pretty good at Dodgeball myself!" Applebloom said, a hint of pride in her voice

Sweetie Belle nodded as well "I could ask Rarity to arrange the trip! She could get us there easily!"

"What do you say Anon, ya want to try it?" Applebloom asked you.

Huh, well, roller derby and karate was in Equestria, so Dodgeball wasn't a far off guess… but to actually be in a tournament? Hahaha, you'd torch them. You were pretty nimble as a kid. "Yeah why not? I wouldn't mind trying it out. Do you girls got any balls so we can practice a little?"

"As a matter of fact, we do! We kept a sports stuff around from our last few crusades. You just go outside Anon and stretch your legs, we'll be out in a minute" Scootaloo said as she and the others went to a box to pull some balls out.

Welp… Ok. You do what they ask and step outside. You walk down the boardwalk down to ground level… not falling on your head this time. And stand at the ready.

The next moment, the door opened and ball after ball started falling down in front of you. geez, they had a lot of dodgeballs. They then rushed down in front of you, instructing you to step back as they gathered the balls into one spot.

You step back until they tell you to stop. They then grab a ball in each hoof, Sweetie Belle even managing to lift one or two with her magic. Their faces suddenly became a little menacing, ooohhh boy...

"Alright Anon, I hope your ready to dodge, because we aren't going to let up for one minute! are you ready?"

You nod, you were sure you could do this. "Yeah, bring it!"

"Let him have it girls!" Cried out Scootaloo

And holy fuck, their tosses was fast. Even with Sweetie Belle launching her balls via magic. Applebloom had the fastest throw of the three. You do your best to dodge, and manage to dodge a few of the initial throws since they went to where you were standing. But it didn't take long for one of Applebloom's shots to knock you clean on your ass.


They stop throwing, and walk up towards you. "You ok Anon?" Asked Applebloom

"Y-yeah… geez, you throw hard..."

"Well, Ah am an earth pony who works on a farm" Applebloom giggled

"...Wow Anon, we didn't even throw half the balls and you got hit. I thought you said you were good at dodgeball" Scootaloo was pretty disappointed. That meant your cutie mark wasn't in dodgeball.

You slowly got up and shook yourself a bit to get off any dirt. "Well, I thought I was good. But, I can promise you, I'm pretty good at arcade games."

"But not enough for a Cutie Mark… are ya sure ya did that 1cc thing you mentioned?" Applebloom said, now skeptical.

You nod. "Yes I'm sure… but I guess I wasn't really meant to have a cutie mark in that. It's been awhile since I played any arcade game"

Sweetie Belle lit up, it seemed she had an idea "I know what we can do!"

"What's that Sweetie Belle?" Asked Applebloom.

"Well, it's obvious this isn't exactly working, so if we are going to learn about Anon and figure out what Cutie Mark he would get. We have to do what Twilight would do, and observe Anon naturally and see what he does! That way, we get more of a feel of what he's actually good at and what he likes."

Observe? "Uuhhh… What exactly do you mean by "observe" Sweetie Belle?"

"Exactly that Anon, we just watch what you do with your day and write stuff down. Then we compare notes and figure out what it all could mean for your Cutie Mark. It's so easy that you don't have to do anything but what you usually do!"

"Say Sweetie Belle, that's a really good idea!" Scootaloo said

"It really is! Ah bet in a couple of days we could figure out Anon's cutie mark for sure!" Added Applebloom

Uhhh… being followed around by these three? It's not that you didn't mind. It's just you didn't really do much but talk… mostly to other adults thus far… and usually female. "Are you girls sure about this? I mean, I don't really do much.".

"Come on Anon, don't be that way. Just give it a chance, we promise not to get in your way or nothin'!" Applebloom pleaded, giving you big sad eyes.

Then the other two gave you big sad eyes. All three were giving you sad eyes and you could feel your sugar levels increasing to diabetes levels.

You sigh deeply. "Ok...ok...But I warned you"

They all got excited and started hopping around, crying out for sure that you'd have your cutie mark. Then they suddenly stopped, and stared at you. Almost creepily.

"Uhhmmm....what are you girls doing?"

"Just observing, just pretend we aren't here" Said Sweetie Belle, her face not changing a bit.

Alrighty… so...

"So what… do I just… go about my day as normal?"

All three nod.

"Ok… going to go… do… stuff… uhh… so, I can just go?"

They all nod again.


Ok was right… What the fuck were you going to do? Welp, time to wander aimlessly into town and look for something to do.

And so you do just that. The CMC following you from a distance, even hiding behind things as you just walk into town. You even pull out your map to see if there was any notable locations you might want to go to. Maybe you could finally spend some time with Ponk? No… the CMC wanted to see you do something actiony… probably.

You stop, first you look deep into your map. Then you look at the CMC, who were hiding behind a cart… observing. Come on Anon, there’s like a million things you could do. You just got to think.

It could be anything, there’s literally a cutie mark for anything. You just had to think of fucking something. Anything… Anything… and a few things you didn't want to be was a window washer or a paper pusher… dammit.

Wait… you had knowledge of things this world didn't. Maybe you could introduce… nope. Not like you knew how to do anything advanced yourself. And introducing this world to something others came up with was probably not worth a mark.

As you thought. standing there, you could see the CMC getting a little anxious. But what could you do? All you had was adult knowledge and enough knowledge of saturday morning c-cartooo… wait a second.

Wait...that was something… maybe… maybe you could make that into a talent. Use your saturday morning know how to solve problems and issues that arise. All you had to do was be more competent about it. Any villain, any problem, any kind of trouble you would face, you could easily figure out the solution to it and either solve it yourself or get the ones required to solve it. Like, if you were in the Canterlot wedding episodes. It'd be easy to go all Solid Snake and snap a photo of Queen Chrysalis if she ever went back to her original form at any point. Or go looking for a dumb changeling to snap a photo of. Or with Tirek, you would have just dropped like a boulder on him or something, lure him out with a willing decoy like Scooby and Shaggy was used for.

Now the question was… what was around you at this moment that you could solve. Obviously not a villain. But maybe a friendship or a practical problem.

Anon, Ace Problem Solver… That had a nice ring to it. You started walking around town. Looking for a problem, usually. if there was a problem. The mane 6 would usually stumble upon it. There had to be a problem somewhere... "Come on, come on… I just need one."

The CMC were probably confused as hell as to what you were doing. So be it, you were sure this had to be it. Hell, if you even spotted Starlight Glimmer, that could be something. You could probably debate her on her whole Cutie Mark stance… as long as she didn't fucking kidnap you or something.

Maybe you just had to ask around? Agh! Dammit, this was infuriating… and somewhat familiar. "Come on...come on..doesn't anyone have a problem? Isn't there some villainy going on in this town?...anything?" You started grinding your teeth, you were really getting into this.

But everywhere you looked was happy cute ponies doing happy cute things. Wait… WAIT! There was something...


The dress… The dress you touched. Maybe you could help her get whatever she needed to fix it. That's right. You should anyway, you did mess it up. Maybe if you help her, it would get you closer to that Cutie Mark. You just need to solve the problem faster than any episode would make you think it'd be solved.

You look for the Boutique on your map, put it in your saddlebag, and rush off.
the CMC get startled as you run towards then past them, they start following you, wondering what you were doing.

And you ran… You ran so far away… well not that far. You reach the Boutique. Yeah Rarity wasn't in before. But that's because probably at that time she was with Sweetie Belle congratulating her on her mark. She had to be there now.

The CMC seemed confused as hell, they were still in the distance. Sweetie Belle seemed extra confused. You knock...daintily...on the door. You were ready. YOU WERE READY.

It didn't take too long for her to open the door. "Hello, Welcome to… oh… Hello Anon. How are you this afternoon?" Rarity, polite as ever. But she stretched her head out looking around, she may have been making sure Discord wasn't with you. "Anon, are you by yourself?"

Well, the CMC did say to pretend they weren't there. You nod. "Yeah, and I kind of wanted to visit you, uhmm, Miss Rarity"

Rarity giggled "Oh my, you came all this way for a visit? What I did for your eye wasn't that amazing was it? Speaking of," She examined your face. She could see the makeup was gone, but your black eye was almost gone as well "Good, it's almost cleared up. Why, you could barely tell it was there."

Rarity stood aside so you could enter, she noticed you were a little disheveled from running. "Come right in Anon, You look like you just ran right over."

You step inside, Rarity following as she shuts the door on the CMC's prying eyes. "So Anon, what brings you here? I can't imagine it being a dress." Rarity asked as she hovered a seat right by you for you to sit at.

"Oh no no, I actually came to see if you needed any help… with something."

Rarity gave you a warm smile "Doing more hero work, Anon? You really should be taking it easy. It hasn't been that long since you came out of the hospital. Especially with the fact you had to deal with those two horrible creatures who call themselves ponies. I swear, if those two had touched Sweetie Belle… I would have... I WOULD HAVE!!"

Rarity could feel some rage growing inside her, she immediately stopped, and smiled, embarrassed. "Ahrm..yes...well. Let's just say things wouldn't have been pleasant."

"Well, I'm feeling pretty good. And I remember something about a dress. I thought maybe I could help you out with it. It's not really hero work, it's just… well, I just want to help solve your problem. I mean, if you haven't solved it yet."

Rarity took a moment to think, but, she didn't want you to go out of the way for her. "Anon, We barely even know each other and you want to push yourself more than you have to? That simply won't do! Why don't you just relax, perhaps I could make you a fine outfit to compliment your brave heroism?"

NO.. NO.. YOU NEEDED TO DO THIS! CUTIE MARKRWKSFDKKDK. You don't know what it was, but this idea. It had to be it. You felt overcome with the desire to try it. It was confusing. And yet… it felt right. "That's really generous of you Miss Rarity. But I just really want to help you with this."

Actually...that got you curious. "Umm, actually… why would touching the dress ruin it? I heard that something about it was special"

Rarity looked into your eyes, and she saw… burning conviction. You weren't going to take no for an answer. But she wanted to find a way to convince you not to help But first. "Well, the dress was incomplete. It was going to be a spectacular dress for Princess Celestia herself! I had managed to buy very expensive, very rare "Radiant" gems from the crystal empire, gems that when touched with hooves would glow with the intensity reflective of the one who touched it. But unfortunately, once touched. It only glows for that pony. And whoever touched it must have had a very negative attitude because not only were the gems dark as night but the color of the dress became an ugly green. I don't even know how that would happen… but Anon, that's exactly why you should put that silly but sweet notion of helping me to rest. You can't just go to the Crystal Empire to get these gems for me. And unfortunately, I can't just order them either due to how delicate they are. I'll just have to come up with something else." She sighed.

Crystal Empire huh?... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What fucking luck. Whether it was by design or just goddamn luck. You had a direct way of getting to the Crystal Empire… And even if you didn’t, Discord could get you there anyway. He was obviously going to have to help you with the cash. But you could surprise Rarity with those gems… Yeah sure, you were fixing your own mistake. But you had this solved faster than anyone else could.

You already had every idea already planned in your head. You would have to make sure to get more than enough of these Radiant Gems to make up for your own mistake. "Gee Rarity… that's rough, I-I guess… Well, I hope you could do something about it. And, I guess I could make one little order..."

"Name it darling, I'll just need your measurements and we can get started."

No, she wouldn't need that. You realized, you were at the boutique, and a certain new friend did need a matching ribbon for her hat. "Nah, all I need is a ribbon of like, a darkish blue blended with a pink color. Do you know Bonbon?"

Rarity nodded "Yes, she's one of my many customers." Rarity seemed confused "You need a ribbon with the colors of her mane?"

You nodded. "Exactly, about the size needed for a sunhat. Could you do that for me please?"

Rarity nodded, still confused "Yes, but, uhm, wouldn't you like more of a suit or perhaps a nice looking custom hat? Or even a nice scarf for the winter time? It's really no trouble. It's the least I could do for what you've done for Ponyville."

You shake your head. "Nope, it's fine. And uhh, I'll pick it up in like an hour or so. Thanks a bunch Rarity!"

"Hmmm… Well if that's what you want but, an hour or so? Anon, I can have it done for you in a minute. You needn't go anywhere."

No, you did. You wanted to have a reason for her not to leave while you go buy these gems. Discord, you hoped… would fit the bill. "I'm really sorry, but I gotta go check up on dad for something. I promise I'll be back soon for it. Ok? Please… Pretty please?"

Rarity was so confused. The hero colt, a colt… just wanting a free and simple ribbon, couldn't wait and had to be gone for hours just to come and pick it up. she was a professional. She said she'd do this for free, and you were the customer.

"Very well Anon! I shall prepare the ribbon and have it ready for you by the time you return from your business."


You got didn't need the CMC stopping you or wondering what you were doing. You knew they were still out there. You didn't want them slowing you down, But you didn't want to just tell them you were leaving, no. You'd just find a way to have them wait there. Get done what you needed done. come back, get the ribbon. come out, and then tell them something as to why you took so long.

"Miss you have a bathroom I could use?"

Rarity points down a hall. "Why yes, it's in the back. Anon, why don't you just pick up the ribbon wh-"

You immediately interrupt her. "Thanks gotta go!"

You rush to back and find the door to the bathroom. Without wasting time, you fill the tub with just a little bit of water. You take out your map. and toss it in to create the portal. You then shut the water off.

"Ok… so there’s a flaw in this. She's going to wonder where i buggered off to. And how I managed it. It's fine, She seemed pretty serious about the whole business thing. So she'll be here when I get back… ok… well..GERONIMO!"

You hop into the portal.

Chapter 52

View Online

You turn around and manage to nab the map with your hoof. You quickly empty your saddle bag of your hat and horn and go to your floor door. This time, you carefully open it and travel down the invisible gravity steps. Discord was still right where he was. But now the whole living room was a gigantic lab. Discord again, was in goggles and a lab coat.

"Woah… I feel like I'm in Dexter's Lab… hmm, hey Discord, can I… bug you again for a second if you don't mind? I have a favor to ask."

Discord is hovering multiple vials and beakers and mixing chemicals every which way. He slowly halts his movements, he's moving everything around like a conductor at a music hall. "Anon, back again? and for a favor?" Discord chuckles as his lab coat turns into a mobster's vest, his goggles turning into a black fedora. "How ever may I help you?"

You notice a glint in his eye… Oh come on… You knew what this meant, given his costume. You cringed heavily at what he might want. "Come on Discord, don't do that, I'm your "son" remember? Give me a freebie here, I'm in a hurry."

Discord then looked at you confused. "Hrnn? Freebie?" Then he startling laughing "Hahaha ohhhh… ohh, you thought, oh no no no, I'd never DREAM of forcing a deal upon you. I just wanted to look nice."

You could tell, he just enjoyed your initial reaction. But no time to for a witty comeback. You had 3 fillies and a mare of class waiting on you. "Ok..ok you got me. So… uhh… I need. A ton of cash. Like, enough to buy a good amount of these things called "Radiant" gems. Apparently they are expensive and can only be bought from the Crystal Empire… uhhh, please?"

Discord floated over a few yellow vials and gazed at them intently "hmmm. Well, I did put that fourth option in the dial for a reason. To think you'd already put it to use. But Anon, you are going to use it for something as boring as shopping? Tsk tsk, I thought you were more fun than that. And besides, those gems you speak of. I could whip them up in an instant if I so wanted to."

Oh shit… That's right… He probably could… "O-oh...yeah...ok. Can I get a bunch of those gems then? Please?"

Discord shook his head "No can do, you already asked for bits. I can't be granting every wish you have Anon. That would make me a very irresponsible father."

"Well then, forget the b-WhwWHAAWAIT!" Before you could even finish your sentence. Your saddlebag began filling with a ridiculous amounts of bits. Enough to knock you off balance, and to your side as the bag sits on your body. It was so heavy, you could barely move it. All you can do was struggle.


Discord rolled his eyes. "Children these days, so ungrateful and so unready for the consequences of their wishes." Discord snapped his talons, making the large bag float up. It was now weightless despite being filled to over capacity.

You took deep breaths, goddamn that shit got heavy quick. "Ngh… did you really have to do that?"

Discord shook his head "No, but it was a TON of fun, wasn't it?" Discord started laughing maniacally at his own pun.

Fine fine, in retrospect. That probably would have been funny if you saw him do that to someone else. Just be good humored Anon… he was actually doing you at least this favor. "Ok ok, you got me..."

You shrug it off with a light titter. "Ok, well. I guess you're really not going to give me the gems huh?"

Discord shook his head. "No, if I handed you everything you wanted then there'd be no fun in doing things on your own. Consider this a lesson in chaos. Because when you go out to do anything, you never know what might happen. Could be boring… or it could be fun. And speaking of fun, You'll definitely be going to school day AFTER tomorrow. I thought I'd schedule the both of us for a little father son time, maybe join forces on a little chaotic venture without letting Twilight or the others find out. Hmmm?"

Oh shit, really? Well, you weren't really to big on school. But… actually going out to wreak some chaos? Now that… that could be fun. "That actually sounds pretty cool. How about we mess with the changelings? They kind of deserve it, and it's not like they are going to whine to Twilight or Celestia about it."

Oh man, just those words coming out of your mouth made you excited.

"Sounds delightful. You have been wanting to do that, haven't you?" Discord chortled evilly, then he remembered something "Anon, do you need anything else for your trip… besides the gems of course."

Oh hey, that's nice of him to ask… but, you couldn't think of anything. "No, I think I just need the bits. umm..Thanks Discord. You've been a big help."

Discord rolled his eyes at you as he popped into his scientist ensemble and lowered his goggles. "Don't get sentimental on me Anon, I was just making sure you were prepared."

Yeah… heh… sure. But… hmm, there was one more thing you wanted to ask before you left. You were kind of scared of asking about if you could really get a Cutie Mark. But, there was another thing that itched in your brain. "Yo Discord...can I ask one more question?"

Discord lifted his goggles and looked at you "Yes?"

"I notice you don't do anything to me when I curse, what's up with that?"

"Well, you haven't cursed in front of anypony else right? You haven't cursed in front of Fluttershy… have you?" his right eye nearly bulged, focusing at you on that last question.

"W-well no, not since the whole fight thing." That stare on you… It was kind of scary.

But then, Discord just shrugged, put on his goggles, and went back to his work. "Then I don't really care, Just as long as nopony comes asking me why you curse like a sailor, and that you are a bad influence on their "foals"" Discord waved his arms in the air with abandon as he rolled his eyes at the thought. "Really, it shouldn't be my fault that they heard it. But we all know how mothers can be. Now shoo Anon, I'm trying to make a potion that will turn anypony's tongue green."

Wut? "...uhh..couldn't you just do that with your magic?"

"Well of course I can! But if I use a potion instead, maybe innocently swap it with somepony's ketchup or mustard. Then the results would be not only hysterical, but they'd never figure out that I did it."

Huh, you smile at that. You smile at the thought of Spoiled Rich having a freakout at her tongue. "You know, that would be pretty hysterical. Ok, I'll leave you to that then. I've got to hurry up and buy some gems. Good luck Discord."

Discord gave you a gentle wave as he used his other arm to carefully mix vial contents into a beaker. "And good luck to you Anon, remember not to touch those gems with your hooves now. I won't give you another sack of bits."

Right, you had to make sure that the place that had them would give you a way to carry them out. You were sure they'd have some kind of hoof gloves or something you could use.

With that, you went back into your room and to the door with the dial. You put it on setting four… The Crystal Empire.

"Whoo boy, here we go. Out of Ponyville and into an Empire… Here we go… Here.. we.. go..."

You feel hesitant, all them crystal ponies though. Looking through the door, you could see a few walking about doing… well, pony cute things. not too different from Ponyville, just… more crystally.

Ok… You wait for an opportune time not to be noticed, and then step through the door. It seems even though you could see them through the door, they couldn't notice you. Neat.

Woah, this place looked a lot nicer close up. Crystal Ponies shimmer from the sunlight… which you noticed was starting to wane. Shit, no time to dilly dally. You took notice… the door left you right outside of the Crystal Heart… ok… maybe a small detour.

It was just floating there, unguarded, and yet amongst all the crystal ponies to see. As you went closer to it, you could feel a gentle warmth in your heart. "Huh..that thing is kind of entrancing"

You were tempted to touch it...but you stop yourself. "Don't do it Anon… that's some high treason stuff right there… gotta get those gems. Now, let's see." You pull out your map. "Now… oh… come on" Despite it being a magical map of teleportation. It still only showed Ponyville.

You sigh, annoyed. "Really? He knew I'd do this. And… I only have myself to blame. He DID ask me if I needed anything else… ugh."

You had no idea where to start. Well...There didn't seem to be a source of water anywhere close by. So, do what the everyman… everypony does… ask around. You look around, plenty of ponies to ask. a lot cute, even with the crystal sheen. You also noted the chill in the air. This place was a lot cooler than what you were used to. Good thing you had a coat of fur...

You walk up to a gentle looking mare who seemed to be minding her own business. "Excuse me ma'am"

She looked to you, and immediately smiled "Well hello there, do you need something sweetie?"

Awww, she called you sweetie. "Well, I just need directions to where I could buy some radiant gems."

"Radiant Gems? Oh, sweetie. You don't need those. They are very expensive, especially now that the shop is under new management" The pony started to look around "Where are your parents?"

"They are..around. Look, I REEEAAALLLYYY need to know where I can get some of these gems. I promise you, I have the cash." You open your saddle bag to reveal your ridiculous cache of bits.

"W-w-wow! I...I guess you could afford them...I-I think...but, why would a little sweetie like you need radiant gems?" She was astounded by your wealth. And by your ability to lift it.

"Just want to give them as a gift."

The crystal pony d'awwws hard, and gives you a loving smile. "You really are a sweetheart aren't you? you're going to make your special somepony veeeerrrryyyy happy. Ok, you just go two roads down that way, make a left, down another road, and then a right, three roads down. You got that?"

G-guh? Special somepony? No… whatever, you didn't have time to debate this. "Y-yes ma'am… thank you ma'am, take care ma’am." And with that you rush off to your destination. New management huh? More expensive? Whatever, you got this.

The crystal pony just smiled "What a polite little colt"

You run, and run, no time to enjoy the scenery. And you sure as hell hoped you wouldn't run into a certain princess. You follow the directions precisely until you manage to reach a gem shop, with the words "New Management" on a sign right next to a board with different types of gems painted on it.

However, something catches your eye on the signboard where it says "New Management"
two crude paintings of two certain brothers. "You're fucking joking..." The Flim Flam brothers were the new owners of this establishment… "Ok… this… this could be interesting… dammit, they better not bamboozle me or some shit.."

You wondered what the fuck they were doing here, or how they could afford a goddamn gem shop. Then again, gems seemed to be wildly different in price in Equestria, depending. And the brothers themselves? You didn't even think you'd ever run into them. Not unless they pulled yet another scheme in Ponyville. But they probably couldn't get away with it after fucking up twice.

You reluctantly step into the shop. Wow, it actually looked pretty nice, looked almost like a middle class throne room. Gems that seemed less expensive were out in the open while more expensive looking gems were behind glass with golden rims. "Hello? Anypony here?"

Suddenly, out from behind the cashier counter, was them… Flim and Flam… the Flim Flam brothers. "Well Well, do you see what I see Flam?"

"Yes indeedy I do Flim, a customer of the youngest calibur!"

"The brightest calibur."

Then they both said together "And with that, we welcome you to the Flim Flam Brother's Gem shop"

Then Flim spoke "Where you can buy any gem you need and even have it delivered..."

Then Flam "That's right, with our griffon friends, we can ship out any gems you might need post haste and without fear of faliure! Why they can even ship out Radiant gems without error.."

Then Flim "Not even a margin for error, as it turns out. Their talons do not affect the gems in any way whatsoever."

What? Did they know you wanted Radiant gems? Then they said, together, giving you a welcoming smile "What can we, the Flim Flam brothers, do for you?"

Uhhh… ugh geez. These guys. "Uhhmm..well, it's funny you mention Radiant Gems. Because I need as many as you're willing to sell for..." You toss down your saddlebag as bits fly out of it. "This many bits."

Immediately, Flim and Flam look at your haul greedily. They start whispering to each other. They seemed amazed that a colt like you would have such a ridiculous amount of bits. Flim even hovered a bit over for him and his brother to take a look. Judging by their reactions. They saw it was real.

They both nodded to each other. Flim immediately snuck into the back, probably to get the gems ready. Flam however, moved away from the counter and closer to you and your bag. "This is quite a bit of bits, I've never seen a colt with so many before. You must want those radiant gems really badly, right?"

You nod, cautiously. "Yeah… I need to get them back to somepony. I know you can't touch them or else, I forget really… but uh, just slip them into the bag,"

Flam started looking through your bit count quickly and expertly. This was more than enough for the stock they had. "Well, I see. However, perhaps we can interest you in our Griffon service?"


"Griffon Service? Yeah, you mentioned that. What's that about?"

Flim comes from the back, floating a bag onto the counter and then looks at you with a… untrustworthy looking grin "What's Griffon Service?! I'll tell you what it is my little friend. Our Griffon Service is of the likes you've never seen before. like Pegasi, Griffons can get through any aerial environmental danger. But unlike most pegasi, they can also get through any PHYSICAL danger."

Then Flam spoke "And don't forget to mention that Griffons can handle Radiant Gems without setting them off! That's right, when they grasp them with their talons, nothing happens. Tell him what that means Flim."

Then Flim spoke "Of course Flam. what that means is there is no chance of your purchased gems being ruined through delivery. This allows us to do what the previous owner could not and ship these wonderful gems anywhere in Equestria!"

Right… There had to be a catch. Even then, you didn't need no griffons. You had a faster way to get them to Rarity. "Umm, yeah, look. I don't need that service. Just give me the gems."

Flam looked back, and nodded to Flim, then looked back at you with a smile "Don't be hasty friend. Now I know you think you're qualified to handle these gems. But you mustn't rush these things!"

Flim pulled out a card, and floated it over to you "In fact, we'd like you to take a look at this"

You nab it, and take a look.

"With this official Flim Flam brothers card, you are guaranteed ten percent off your next purchase on your next visit if you use our patented Griffon Service"

Only ten percent.

"What does this have to do with anything?"

Flim spoke "Well friend, it's a little something we like to call "incentive""

Then Flam "And besides, not only is the Griffon Service guaranteed a success, but it only costs an extra twenty five percent of your purchase."

Then Flim gasps "My dear brother! That's practically stealing from us!"

Flam nods "Indeed, now… umm, what's your name little friend?"

"Anon" You tell them. Wary of their shitty offer

"Well Anon, you wouldn't be able to buy AS many Radiant Gems. But surely you'd have enough for what YOU possibly need them for. Are you sure you could really trust yourself handling gems this valuable?"

Flim rose his hoof at you, to give you caution "Think carefully Anon, we are offering you guaranteed service! Anywhere in Equestria, with no worries attached!"

They must have thought you were an idiot. You already figured out how they are making a bigger profit. twenty five fucking percent? Even if their service was the bee’s knees. No fucking way are you wasting money on it. You were sure the crystal ponies would deal with these fuckwits soon enough.

"Look fellas, I appreciate the offer, but just give me the gems"

Flim and Flam started to look a little worried.

"Are you sure you won't reconsider Anon?" Said Flim, looking a little nervous.

"Perhaps if we give you a child's discount of say......five percent off the service?" Said Flam.

...ugh. "The gems, just take my money. Put the gems in the bag. and let me leave. I don't need the service."

"But sur-"

You stomp your hoof on the ground, angrily. You were done with this shit. You were trying to do a good deed, fix your screw up, and get back in time before everyone realizes you were gone.


Suddenly… silence filled the air. The Flim Flam brothers jaws just hung open.

Oh geez. You just realized what you had just done… Still, it's not that bad. They didn't know who you were, they probably wouldn't say anything. Hopefully. You didn't need Discord on your ass.

You take a breath. "....Just do it ok?"

They both nod, and just silently place the bag of gems into your saddlebag as they take about seventy percent of your haul of bits. As it turned out, you cleared them out of radiant gems and still had quite some bits on you.

You clear your throat. "Well uhh, pleasure doing business with you gentlem-...Gentlecolts. Thanks for the gems, and uhh… I hope your griffon thing works out. seeya later..."

Just walk out casually Anon, just walk out casually. They were still plenty surprised by your outburst. You look back, they were still stunned. they had to close each other's gaping jaws with their hooves. They couldn't do it themselves… actually, that's pretty fucking funny. You have yourself a chuckle as you step out.

Now you just had to get back home. Which in fact, didn't take you too long. The place was pretty bone dry. So you took a little bit of a sneaky route.

You found a pony enjoying a drink at a table. You hid under it, waiting for her to put her drink down. You then tossed a few bits out of the way. She notices, and goes to pick them up.

Good. You felt a little bad doing this. But you couldn't find any other way. You spilled her drink all over the ground while she was distracted. And tossed the map at the puddle. The portal opens, and you hop in.

A crude way to return yes. But it was just a drink. You didn't have time to waste.

Chapter 53

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"Well… that went better than I expected." You snatch your map back up and turn the dial to one for Ponyville. "Mnn, I'm sure nothing is gonna happen. They deserved it."

Strangely enough, you got over what you did pretty quickly. both about the brothers and the tipping of the glass. "They tried to nickel and dime me. And, it was just a cup ...not like she couldn't get more. It'll be alright, this is more important."

You hadn't the time for guilt or worry of consequences. You were sure none of it would bite you in the ass. You open the door, and stare into the passage to the town. You nearly step through, until you stop. an idea fills your mind.

"Hmmm, dunno why. But, since I am dealing with classy horse. Being the intelligent and charming guy I know I can be..." You look over to your suit and hanging top hat. "Man, the girls are gonna laugh at me. But who gives a shit. It'll be fun on a bun"

You slip on your suit, fix up your bow, and place on your top hat. "There we go" You chuckle, looking at a mirror on your empty dresser. "Lookin' sharp there Anon"

You nod to yourself. Yeah, what would have been cringy at home was now adorable with your colt body and cute face… It felt good being a pone.

You walk through the door and head off to Rarity's. You took your map with you, but at this point. You didn't need to look at it. You knew where to go. You wish you could use a cane. But there was no point given your four legged form. Hell, you almost felt like singing a song. You were feeling pretty good about what you were about to do. It was getting late though, but it was fine. Today has been a good day.

You reach the boutique, hah, the CMC were still next to it. Hiding, waiting for you to come out. You walk over to them. "Hey girls, nice afternoon we're having, huh?"

The three of them were surprised and confused. They looked at the boutique, then you, then back at the boutique, then you.

"Anon… weren't… weren’t you inside the entire time?" Sweetie Belle asked. She never saw you come out.

"Yeah I was. Look, before you girls ask anymore about that. Let me just explain. I got a map from my dad that let's me open portals back to my house. So that's why you didn't see me come out. Does that answer any future questions you girls have?"

Ha, nipped it in the bud.

Scootaloo nods, then she starts to smirk then smile. "Y-yeah, but, hehehe… what's with the get up?"

Hrn, actually. It seems only Scootaloo found your attire funny. The other two just looked at you as if you did something weird.

"Oh this? I just thought I'd look a little classy for what I'm about to do"

Scootaloo was already laughing uncontrollably at this point. Considering she thought of you as this apparent badass . Seeing you in that get up caught her off guard.

Applebloom only got more confused "About to do? What are you about to do?"

Sweetie Belle just sat silently. She looked up at your top hat and just thought. Then, a lightbulb went off in her mind as she shook her head. "Anon, I don't know how you fell in love with my sister. But dressing up just to impress her isn't going to do anything. And besides, you're way too young for her."

Applebloom's wonderment only grew from that "WHAT?! ANON, Y-YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH RARITY?!"

Scootaloo tried to say something, but that response only made her laugh all the more.

You were caught offguard yourself, What the fuck?! "G-G..T-That's not it! Why would you even say that?!"

Sweetie Belle nodded "Yup, he's in love with her. Anon, it's not going to work out. Trust me" She snickered

Applebloom looked to Sweetie Belle, surprised she didn't have a bigger reaction "Sweetie Belle, how can ya be so calm about this?!"

Sweetie Belle shrugged "Eh, he wouldn't be the first to get a crush on my sister. It just tends to happen."

NO GODDAMMIT NO. You bring your hoof to your face. flustered.

"N-no, I'm not in love with her. I'm just trying to fix a mistake I made"

That caught their attention. Scootaloo slowly went to a titter as Applebloom and Sweetie Belle's confusion intensified.

"Mistake? Whatcha mean mistake?" Applebloom said, confused as all hell.

Sweetie Belle tried to figure out what you meant. But she couldn't think of anything "Anon, what do you mean? I don't remember you doing anything bad. Did you do something while you were in there? Is that why you're out here now?"

Ahh shit… In your flustered state. You let something you wanted to remain hidden slip. You could probably lie your way out of this. But… maybe it'd just be better to tell the truth. Ponies are pretty understanding… hopefully. Yeah… it might be better for your conscious.

" remember when you girls let me inside, and told me not to touch anything?"

They all nodded.

"Remember that dress that got ruined?"

Sweetie Belle nodded the most on that one.

You sigh. "That was me, I touched it. I didn't know it would do all that stuff just by me touching it. When I heard about it, I kind of got scared. And didn't say anything. I didn't want to be the cause of trouble, and I didn't want my dad to be blamed either..."

"Anon, that dress was really important to my sister… and, I know she can seem crazy when she's upset… But you still should have apologized. I don't think things would have been that bad… just kind of dramatic" Said Sweetie Belle, she looked disappointed in you.

"I know I should have. In fact… when you girls were following me. I started thinking of what my Cutie Mark could be. And, so I decided to try to fix my mistake… In my saddlebag are those rare gems from Rarity's dress. Untouched. I got a good amount of them on me and I was hoping Rarity would be happy with them."

"And you were planning to tell her that you ruined the dress too, right?" Sweetie Belle asked.

You hesitated… no, you weren't. That's all she needed to hear

Sweetie Belle shook her head "Anon..."

Great, you could see the disappointment in their eyes from your answer. Sweetie Belle's the most. Gyahhh come on, great… you felt like you were learning some end of the episode lesson already.

You let out a heavy sigh, burdened by your simple sin. "I'll let her know, and apologize. I'm really sorry girls. I didn't mean to do anything bad."

God, you went from classy to first class shmuck. You looked down in shame. A simple act, and it was enough to make you feel like shit when brought upon you.

Suddenly, you felt hugging. All three of them were hugging you.

"It's ok Anon" Said Applebloom

"Yeah, you were just scared. At least you tried to fix the mistake" Said Scootaloo

"And, well. We're friends and crusaders. That's why we're here to help you. I just didn't want to see things get worse Anon. I just wanted you to apologize to my sister. It'll be ok, promise!" Said Sweetie Belle

Gyuhh… g..g-go… goddammit. Fuck… Why do you feel the feels? They are so simple minded and forgiving. D-dammit. It's not like you knew them for that long. But they were so goddamn dedicated.

You let out some manly tears. But keep silent. You didn't want them to know you were crying. But you did embrace their hug. Dammit… It felt nice to be cared about.

Yeah… you'd definitely apologize. "T-thanks girls.."

"No Problem Anon!" All three of them said.

You sniffed from nearly crying. And as they let go of you, you quickly wipe your tears away before they could notice. "Ok… gonna do this."

"We're rooting for you Anon!" Applebloom cried out

"Don't be scared ok? No matter how dramatic she gets." Sweetie Belle warned.

Huh… you knew how she could get. Just never personally. You gently open the door and step inside, the CMC close behind.

Oh geez, Rarity was at the bathroom door. Knocking. "Anon, darling...are you alright? It's been an awful long time… You didn't fall asleep did you?" She looked awfully concerned.

You were overthinking this. It wouldn't be too bad. This isn't a jackass human who would still hold it over you or get pissed. This was a world of cute and understanding ponies. Yeah… this… this would be ok.

"Heya Rarity"

"Heya? Anon..wha..wait" She turned her stare from the door and to her side… then the door… then the side… " in Equestria did you get there? I never saw you leave.."

You almost wanted to laugh at that. Same reaction… you could probably make that into a gag if you were more of a cartoony kind of guy in a cartoony kind of world.

Like with the CMC, you explain the whole map portal thing. Rarity seems to grasp the concept instantly… but

"Anon, why did you even leave? Surely it wasn't for your, well I must admit… adorable suit and top hat. I've had the ribbon you needed for quite some time. I even decided to put a larger amount on a roll for you."

Moment of truth. "Well, you see… I kind of went to the Crystal Empire. Yeah, I know. super far away, but when you got a dad like mine… haha… hnmm. Anyway, and dad helped me out with this too, I kind of wanted to get you something. Here, and don't touch with your hooves. Just use your magic."

You open your saddlebag and pull out the large bag of gems and gently put it down. Rarity was confused, but she complied. She magically opened the bag, and when she pulled out the gems.

Her eyes started to sparkle. "A-Anon..a-a-re these?"

You nod. "Yep, they are the gems you needed. Look, the reasDSGDRFDS"

Rarity had moved the gems aside and grasped you for a giant hug, standing on her two back hooves as she nearly suffocates you. "ANON! YOU AMAZING LITTLE GENTLECOLT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D GO SO OUT OF THE WAY TO GET THESE FOR ME! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW… Oh my..."

She notices you turning a different shade of color and gently puts you down "I'm sorry Anon, I don't know what came over me"

You take a few breaths to recompose yourself. You could still see on her face her excitement as she took a closer look at the gems. judging from her expression. They were real… thank god. You were scared of checking incase you ruined them… you didn't even know how to tell they were real.

"Really Anon, you have no idea how appreciative I am of this. And to think Discord helped out with this whole thing. I'll have to personally thank him as well for making this happen."

Yeah… "Yeah, Rarity, I have something to admit… that I'm really sorry for."

"Hmm? Whatever could it be?" Rarity looked at the gems, nothing seemed wrong with them. "There's nothing wrong with the gems"

"It's not the gems… do you remember that dress that got ruined?" Your ears drooped, it always hurt to admit to something you did wrong.

Rarity noticed you're sad, guilty expression and immediately figured it out. "Anon… you touched my dress?"

Hmnn, she didn't seem too shocked or horrified like you thought. Maybe it was the fact she had the gems that softened the blow.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Rarity asked

"I was sort of afraid you would explode on me or something. I know it really meant something to you though, so I wanted to fix it by getting you replacement gems. "

"Oh Anon, I wouldn't have exploded on you...err..I may have gotten somewhat upset. But, I-I understand accidents can happen. I appreciate you replacing my gems, especially with as many as you bought. It's a lot more than I originally had. But, I would have appreciated an apology a lot more. It's better to know one is truly sorry then to try to mend it while hiding your misdeed"

Fuck, that made you feel like a coward. She was right, the CMC were right. Maybe it was because these horses were actually nice and not shitty that made you feel guilty. That they wouldn't do anything horribly shitty under normal circumstances.

"I'm really sorry Rarity, I p-promise not to do it again." You really were sorry, you hung your head in shame. Dat guilt.

"Apology accepted" She raised your head with her hoof so she could see your face "And please don't look so down" She smiled at you "You did more than enough to fix things. So that already tells me that you were willing to fix the problem at any cost. And I do mean any cost. But always remember Anon, a Gentlecolt should always apologize for any wrong they might cause immediately and with sincerity. Understand?"

You nod, yeah. You'd remember that from now on. "I understand, thanks for not being mad Miss Rarity..."

Rarity gave you a gentle rub on your head "And thank you for coming clean Anon, and another thank you for your wonderful gift. I'll have to start working on a replacement dress immediately. Oh yes! I almost forgot!"

Rarity hovered over to you a roll of the ribbon you asked for. Yes! It was exactly what you asked for. More than you expected. But eh. Perfect as is.

"Here is the item you ordered, I trust it's exactly what you wanted?" Rarity asked, sounding professional as ever.

Welp, nothing bad happened. Now you felt silly, not apologizing earlier. You felt like a silly kid at this point. Instead of a grown adult. Then again, even adults could be shady and try to get out of shit.

You take the ribbon roll and put it in your saddlebag. "Thank's Miss Rarity, it's exactly what I needed."

"A pleasure, Anon. And this is for your friend Bon Bon, correct?"

You nod "Mhmm, I really wanted to get this for her. It'd make her real happy to have it for her hat"

saying that, you noticed the CMC smile. Rarity giggles a soft warm laugh "That's very nice of you Anon, in fact. I do find this behavior of yours to be quite amazing. Not many ponies your age go out of their way to do the things you are doing. And what's more, to know that your father is helping you with these tasks. Well, I feel a touch guilty myself of thinking awfully of him. I don't know why or how. But I am elated to see that Discord is actually being a good role model."

Ha… hearing that. You wonder how Discord would react. Either prideful or with disgust. Either way, you were actually glad to hear that. "Yeah… he's a really good guy once you get to know him. And a good Dad. I'm really thankful for what he's done for me."

"And you know, I'm thankful too. To know that he is not only behaving but becoming a model citizen… Well, it makes me feel I needn't worry about myself or my little sister should we actually have to be in his company."

Oh, you'd still have to worry… ehehehehe… hehehe.. heh. "Thanks Miss Rarity, I'm sure dad would be happy to hear that."

Rarity smiles at you, then looks out the window "Oh my, it is getting rather late though. Anon, maybe you should save that gift for tomorrow."

No… there was still some sun out. You could do this. "I'll be fine, I did fend off those two guys. I'll just give my friend her gift and then head home. Promise."

In retrospect. You did legit win that fight… Through dirty means… but still.

Applebloom nodded "And we'll go with ya! Cutie Mark Crusaders always stick together!"

Rarity cleared her throat "Ahrm… sorry Applebloom. But it is rather late. I can't allow Sweetie Belle to go out at this time"

"Awwww! Come on Rarity! I'll be with Anon. Nothing bad is going to happen!" Begged Sweetie Belle

"Even then, I'd rather you just stay here. There will be plenty of time tomorrow to have fun and be with your friends. But the night is no place for a lady your age." Rarity stayed stern

"Awww..." Sweetie Belle frowned, her ears folding back "Ok..."

Rarity then looks upon Scootaloo and Applebloom. "That includes you two as well, you both should be going home before it gets too dark."

"Awwww… do we have to?" Applebloom tried giving Rarity a cutely depressive stare

"Yes Applebloom… I don't want your family to get worried, you know how your sister gets" Rarity just stares harder at her. Reinforcing her resolve. Applebloom complies.

"Well, I guess that means I'll have to partner around with Anon in case he gets into trouble" Scootaloo said, trying to get out of this.

"I did mean you too Scootaloo, I'll take you home myself if I have to" Rarity stared down on her.

"What?! come on, Somepony should go with Anon! Who knows what could happen?!" Scootaloo protested

Rarity doesn't say anything at first. Scootaloo had a point. "...hmm.." Rarity then looks at you "Anon, won't you please wait until tomorrow? I just feel that it could still be a little dangerous out there."

You really wanted to do this. You would try one more time to at least get her to be ok with it. You didn't want to worry her. "Miss Rarity, I promise it'll be ok. My house is anywhere I want it to be. All I gotta do is toss my map in some water and I can go home. I can just ask my friend to well...let me use her bathroom. My dad doesn't mind, honest."

Rarity again, took another moment to think. "You'll go straight home once your business is done, correct?"

Not a problem. You could settle with that. She was being worrisome for nothing. You were sure Applejack wouldn't worry about shit like this… still, that was reasonable.

You nod. "Yeah, no problem."

"Ok then, I know I'm not your mother. But I'm allowed to worry nonetheless. You take care Anon." Rarity really did look worried. No doubt Fluttershy would be even more worried about you walking around in the evening. She'd probably offer you her home to sleep in even knowing you could go home through the map.

"Come on Anon! Let's go!" Scootaloo said, trying to sneak off with you. "Scootaloo, I never said you could go with him. And if I find out that you did. I will tell your aunts. Do you understand me young lady?"

".....nuts..." Scootaloo said, kicking her hoof along the ground.

You hold back a chuckle...nice try Scootaloo. "You take care Miss Rarity, and good luck on that dress… and girls"

You group hug the CMC, you were actually thankful they followed you, and made you apologize. You felt better for it. And, if you really could get a Cutie Mark. You had an idea that maybe using your Saturday morning skills would be the way to getting one. You were actually getting pretty excited about the possibility of getting one.

"Thanks for today, I actually feel like I'm a little closer to my Cutie Mark" You give them a wink

They hug you, but are surprised at the same time "You do?"

"But we didn't really do anything" Applebloom said.

"You girls actually did. At first, I really didn't care about getting my Cutie Mark. But, I guess with you girls getting your Cutie Mark and actually giving me that push to give it a thought. I feel I have an idea of what it could be. I'm not sure exactly what it is… but I have an idea… so, thank you."

That made them smile, they told you that whatever they did to actually do it, that they were happy to do it for you. They still didn't understand what you meant. But hey, if it brought you closer to that Cutie Mark. It was enough for them.

And with that and a farewell. You all head off in your separate directions. You make sure to eye Scootaloo to make sure she doesn't follow you before heading to Bon Bon's.' This world, it really was a trip. The ponies here were good natured. They weren't overly mean, or evil, rude, nasty. Sure, there was probably the occasional antagonist. But like everything else. They usually become good too in the end. Hell, even Gilda got redeemed.

You liked it… you liked it alot. You didn't have to worry that some fuckwit was out to screw you over. You didn't have to worry about horrible grudges. And the only time you'd need to worry about revenge is if you pissed off some villain or something. Hell, even Discord. who gave you a hard time or messed with you. Wasn't actually an evil or nasty guy. He was just doing it for fun. Hell, the only pony you ran into that was an irredeemable ass was DT's mom.

This world was paradise. You just needed to adjust a little more. As you come upon BonBon's house, the sun was just about gone, you still had some light and time to get this done.
You straightened your Top Hat. You couldn't wait to see Bonbon's reaction to this. Yeah, you didn't get to really fully try it on Rarity due to feels moment. But you did nothing wrong to Bonbon, this is gonna be a trip.

You get up to her door. and knock.

Chapter 54

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You readied yourself. You were going to have fun with this one. You expected Bonbon to be really confused. And you really really hoped Lyra was around. No doubt she'd find you super adorable. You felt a new spring in your step. You were happier, as if the last of the chains you felt holding you back had been removed.

You clear your throat, and take the ribbon roll and hide it under your top hat. Yeah, This time was fun time. Finally, Bonbon came and opened the door. Good, you were happy she was home.

"Hello, who's… Anon?" Bonbon looked at you awkwardly, then a small smile formed on her face, she looked like she wanted to laugh "I-is that you?"

You wish you had a monocle for this. Oh well, you stood as regally as you could and gave your tie a tug. "Indeed, it is I, Anon. Good evening lady Bonbon, I trust you are well?"

Bonbon had to stifle a giggle. what was this all about? "Anon..what are you doing? You look like you're dressed for a fancy dinner date."

Hmmm… that doesn't sound like a bad idea… eh. "On the contrary, I am actually here to provide you, lady Bonbon, with a gift that you in fact wanted earlier today."

"A gift?" Now Bonbon was really confused, and her smile started to subside "I don't remember asking for one… Anon, what are you doing here? You know it's almost sundown right? Shouldn't you be getting home?"

You just give her a gentlemanly smile and remove your top hat, holding it to her upside down. "I mean what I said. A gift for you young maiden, so that you may frolic with your friend in matching sunhats, behold!"

Bonbon looks down into your hat as you hold it closer to her. She notices the ribbon roll. Then she got it. "Oh Anon, you didn't need to get this for me." She gives you a warm smile "I could have just gotten it tomorrow." She takes the ribbon roll and slips it behind her ear. "Still, that doesn't explain the top hat and suit. I really hope you weren't trying to ask me out for a date."

You give her a surly smirk, you didn't react unusually this time. You were not only getting used to it. But you were in this only for fun. "Well, if you're not doing anything."

Bonbon burst out laughing, that sounded absurd to her. She was now sure you were just joking. "Ok Hahaha, ok ok… you got me Anon, I almost thought you were trying something."

You chuckle confidently. "Yeah, I just wanted to have a little fun with this. I could never ever think of any actual reason I'd need a top hat. You almost looked convinced I wanted something like that… Hey is Lyra here? I wanna see how she reacts to my "classieness"."

Bonbon calms herself to titters, and shakes her head. "No, she isn't. She went home a little while ago. I wish she was here to see you though. I would have loved to see her react too." Bonbon removes the ribbon roll from behind her ear and examines it. "And this...this is exactly what I needed. Thank you Anon, I appreciate you going out of your way to give this to me"

You nod. "Hey, no problem. I mean. You guys just let me come in and have tea with you. It's the least I could do, you guys just let me be friends with you just like that. Thanks."

Bonbon knew in reality, it was more Lyra than her. But, to her, especially right now. You seemed like not only an intelligent colt, but you got the modest and humble hero thing going for you.

Bonbon smile becomes more gentle and warming as she gives you a pat on the head "You're alright Anon. If you want to hang out with me and Lyra at anytime. Don't hesitate to look for us… but, you really should be getting home ok? Before it gets dark."

"Ok, I'm glad you're happy with your gift Bonbon… and now." You place the top hat firmly on your head and give it a tip "I bid you ado and a pleasant night" You bow

Bonbon giggles again, and waves "And a good night to you too young colt" She does her best to sound fancy, she's actually pretty good at it. agent training? who knows.

You thought about asking her to use her bathroom to go home. But eh, you wanted to take a stroll, just to enjoy the air without any worry in your mind. Hell, by Discord's word you were gonna have some kind of fun tomorrow messing with Changelings. Finally, you can do something super fun for a change without having to worry about consequences. You just wondered what Discord had in mind.

And you know what you told Rarity, but dammit. It was just a small detour. You could use the fountain by town hall to get back home. So it wouldn't be that long a trip anyway. It was a good time to be Anon. You felt happy, and you felt loved. It was a good feeling. You turn the corner, with a little spring in your step. A little more positivity and you could burst into song about how great you feel. I guess the truth really does liberate people… well… truth to certain degrees.

Then suddenly...


That voice… no… way… what?

You immediately stop your prancing. And slowly turn around.

...Diamond Tiara

She looked… a lot more gentle than every time you've run into her before. And you couldn't just greet her nastily… You saw the episode through the potion… and the CMC told you the version that happened in this universe.

"Diamond Tiara? Uhh… what are you doing out?"

Diamond Tiara was eyeing your getup. "I was going home… What are you doing out?"

You noticed her staring at you, it must have been your top hat and suit. "Umm..the same..Was just going home."

"Oh..." She looked a little nervous "Can I… talk to you? Since you're here?"

Talk…? looking at her, it looked like she had a lot to say. She was looking around, and she looked a little upset just by running into you.

"Yeah umm, let's talk and walk actually. Cover more ground that way"

She agrees, and the both of you begin walking to the fountain. You feel a little nervous. Considering what Spoiled Rich told you. Then again, fuck that bitch. She’s a cunt. You were just a little thrown off by running into DT out of the blue.

"So… uhh… what's on your mind? " You ask.

What was on her mind indeed...

"Well… I heard you ran into my mother."

Yup, you did. "Yeah… she kind of told me to stay away from you."

"She told me the same thing. She said you were only after our family fortune. I told her that wasn't true. But… the way she explained it. It sort of made sense to me… but, you didn't seem like you would do that… In fact… do you know anything about what happened today? Did you happen to run into Applebloom and her friends?"

You nod. "Yeah… they told me what happened. Considering how your mom is, that was a pretty gutsy move to stand up to her."

"Well, that's the thing. At that moment. I realized just how wrong she really was. About me, my cutie mark, you, and Applebloom and her friends… Anon, I'm sorry about everything. About how I tried to take you away from your new friends… It's just, I saw how they made a friend out of you so easily… I got angry. I thought "How could this new colt just latch on to these blank flanks instead of me"...Though, umm, if you did come to me first… I… probably would have just laughed at you… sorry..."

Oh boy… you looked at her. With every word she was looking sadder, more apologetic. "It's fine… didn't sound like your mom gave you much choice of anything but to act that way. She told you guys like me, and fillies like the crusaders were pretty much scum, huh?"

She silently nods. Geez Diamond Tiara... You weren't used to this. She wasn't acting at all like her normal self… which was a good thing… but still.

"But, they showed me… they showed me there was another way. That's why I'm glad to be with you right now Anon, I wanted to tell you how I feel... and just to apologize… You know, when you saved me. I thought… “Why? Why did he save me?” And... It bothered me. I started to feel different about you. And when you fell down… I got really scared. I… I was never in a scary situation like that before… and you risked your life for me… Me… who treated you and your friends like di-..d..."

She couldn't hold it in. She nuzzled her head to your side as she cried, she felt so bad. You could feel it through her tears. All that time being a bitch had caught up to her. She was trying to be good, but those feelings, knowing who she originally was, must have made her feel like shit. And, you were the one she was dumping this on… You felt really bad for her.

"Hey hey, come on. I forgive you. You didn't know any better. Your mom did… but she just wanted you to be like her, to uphold some sort of social standing instead of letting you grow into who you wanted to be..." Christ, you sounded like a end of episode moral. But you weren't dumb. You had insight others didn't have. "But I forgive you, and Applebloom,Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle I'm sure forgives you too. They wouldn't have helped you out if they did. Just forget about what you did, and focus on what you can do. You're not a bad pony."

You could hear her cries die down a little, she looks to you. Her face was a mess, she was still crying. "I feel like I am… I tried today… I felt confident trying to fix things… but… Now I'm going home… My mother is going back to Manehatten. And I don't know… how to feel. She's my mother Anon, I care about her… but, now that I know there's another way… what am I supposed to do?"

Damn, that's right. That's still her mother. And despite being a massive bitch cunt. She's probably more angry than willing to accept she was wrong.

"Do you know how your dad feels?"

"Daddy?...I don't think he even really knows."

...You wondered something. "How is your dad? I mean, when nopony is around? Is he how I know him?"

Diamond Tiara takes a breath, her weeping was slowing, good, she was becoming more comfortable. "Daddy is always like that… he's not mean, and he listens to me."

Yeah, you didn't have much to go on. But he never seemed like an asshole and seemed to care a lot more than his wife. That's good… he did seem ignorant though. "Is anypony gonna tell him what happened?"

Diamond Tiara shook her head "I don't want to… I don't want him to get mad at my mother. And I don't think she's going to tell him either… I just want to leave it alone. I don't want them to fight..."

Aye geez… If it was up to you. You'd tell him. But given the politics… it'd be better to leave that to her.

You reach the fountain. But, if you left now. She'd be alone… "Hey Diamond… How about I take you home? It doesn't look like you're gonna get there before that sun goes down."

She looks up in the sky. No, the sun was visibly inches away from being fully down. She didn't realize she was out that late. "..You'll take me home?"

You shrug. "Yeah, you still look like you have things to say, and pfft. I'm in a top hat and suit, it'd be very ungentlecoltly to just leave you here."

She looked at your top hat and suit, then back to you. She lit up a little. You could see it. "I, I was wondering about that. I didn't want to say anything about it. I didn't want you to think I was making fun of you."

You give her a smile as you dismissively roll your eyes. "Pfft, I wouldn't care. Scootaloo already laughed at me for it."

Diamond Tiara reacted negatively to that, almost angrily "She did?! But she's your friend… that's just rude!"

Oh we go. "Hey hey, it's fine. It was just in fun.."

"But...doesn't that make you feel bad?"

"It depends. Sometimes friends joke and make fun of eachother in good nature. It's only really bad if they keep it up or say something that's really hurtful. Everypony is different about it. I don't mind too much."

Diamond Tiara took in your words, and just looked at you silently for a moment before speaking. “You do look a little silly."
She smiles a little bit. Heh, guess you can't take that part out of her completely. But that smile. It wasn't one of malice.

You smirk at her. "Silly huh? Is this better?" You pop off your top hat, knocking it to the ground, and grab Diamond Tiara's… diamond tiara… and place it on your head.

"Welp, I'm now one step closer to being a princess now. All I need is a horn and some wings." And that's what did it. She couldn't hold it in. She nearly fell over laughing at you. She found it hysterical.

Smooth Anon, maybe you should see if you could use that element of laughter one day. "Feeling better?"

You hold the tiara towards her. She has to calm herself from laughing so much before she could take it and put it back on. You yourself grab your top hat and place it back on your head.

"See? Just gotta be good natured about it. You'll get the hang of it… Feeling better?" You ask again.

"Mhmm… Thanks Anon, I really needed that."

"It's fine, it's what I do. So… what does the future hold for miss Diamond Tiara, what are you gonna do?"

Diamond Tiara looks towards the slowly rising moon. "Well, I want to be a better pony. I want to lead… but not push. I want to make things better for everypony without driving them away."

Heh, that's good. She really did manage to pull a 180 after getting out of the clutches of her mother.

"That sounds good to me. And if you fall down, me and Applebloom and the others will be there to help you if you need us, and.." You realized something. "Actually, how are you and Silver Spoon? She got really upset when you, well, you know.."

"Oh… we're friends again. After what happened. I apologized to her. She was really happy to hear it. I didn't realize I hurt her so bad. She was even trying to help me with the election. I almost screwed that up too... but, she forgave me. I'm really glad though, that we could be friends again."

"How does she feel about the new you?"

Diamond smiles at that question "It's kind of weird, but she's all for it. She said she just wants to be friends again no matter what."

Heh… a follower to the end. Even willing to make changes if it meant being her best friend. It's probably one of the only things she ever knew in life. Well, that's something you didn't need to worry about.

You both were approaching the manor. boy, you hoped Spoiled didn't show up. "Looks like things are really looking up for you then. I'm really happy for you Diamond Tiara. I really like the new you."

Diamond Tiara stopped, then continued walking beside you, she looked shocked. then she started to blush. "You like me?"

Oh shit, you fucking forgot. She did have a crush on you. You didn't even think to consider it. "U-umm..well..the new you I mean. It just feels nice to hang out with you."

"O-oh, well, I like hanging out with you Anon, you're really nice and understanding." Diamond Tiara was losing focus, she was looking about. Nervous.

Aye geez… You pass the gates and head towards the door. You didn't have to the heart to crush her. No, just, act natural.

"Yeah well. I mean, it is what it is and I am who I am. Ummm… here we are." You both reached the front door.

Diamond Tiara wouldn't stop looking at you. she looked so gentle and soft at this moment. "Th-thank you for taking me home Anon, that was really sweet of you… you know you didn't have to do that.."

You shrug "Like I said..." You point to the top hat.

"Right… umm.." She knocks on the door. she had forgotten that you mentioned it was just you being a "Gentlecolt". She felt it was more than that.

On that, you felt it would be good to leave before things got serious.

"Welp, I've gotta be getting home. You take care of yourself...ok? You're doing really good Diamond. I know things will only get better for you."

You wave to her, and go to leave. But, she wasn't done yet. “Wait… Anon… can I tell you one more thing before you go?"

One more? "Yeah sure, What is it?"

"Can you come closer?"

...Ok. You comply, and step closer.

"Yup… Is it something you got to whisper or something?"

"Sorta… a little closer."

Your face comes up right to hers. you turn your head so she could whisper to you. But instead, she gives you a kiss on the cheek and blushes deeply.

Oohh… No… Ohhh… Nooo… Ohh… Noo… Oh.. No..

You couldn't help but blush yourself… That was so sudden… So soft… You even felt wobbly… Come on man, this was DT… yeah, this was a newly reformed, not shitty DT. BUT IT WAS STILL A DAMNED FILLY!

"G-goodnight Anon..."

"G-goodnight Diamond..."

Woo… you stepped away, giving her a wave as you head towards the gate. Keeping an eye on her as the door was the maid that opens it. She looks back towards you, but you were already out of sight.

Oh god… Good fucking god. It happened. It fucking happened. Nope, couldn't be Ponk. Couldn't be Fluttershy. Couldn't even be the CMC who would be your age. It was Diamond Tiara… for five years you knew her as a gigantic fucking cunt. And now, in one fell swoop. She was different. She was trying to be a confident leader. And she was falling in love with you and you had no idea how to actually feel about that. Geez, you wondered what the CMC would think if they saw this shit.

But, at the same time. You couldn't just crush her feelings after she had just reformed. Who knows how she would react… and, would it really be that bad anyway? Is it a bad thing? You just didn't know. And even then… this is going to be something you sure would pop up day after tomorrow.

You needed to get home, and try to forget this for now.

Chapter 55

View Online

You decided to make off back to the fountain. Giving you time to think about what transpired. You look up to the sky… It was an amazing sight. So many stars, more than you ever saw back home. Blanketing the night sky. No wonder Luna would get upset about ponies not staying up to enjoy this.

Perhaps this wasn't a bad thing. This whole Diamond Tiara business. You never got a girl back home. So… this.. was something? Course, you could never give DT the dicking. Not unless she for some reason really wanted it and you could get away with it.

Lewd thoughts Anon, lewd.

and that kiss… dammit.

No, this might not be good. You knew most of the strengths and weaknesses of the more major pony characters. Reformed DT… you knew nothing about. You didn't even know she had a mom...

Hrn… This might not even be worth thinking about now. No, it isn't. It's better to just see how things go. Maybe it's just a phase? Maybe she's just chock full of emotions because you technically saved her? Maybe it's all of the above. Eh… just… just forget it for now. You had to focus on tomorrow. Messing with changelings. You wondered exactly how that would go.
No doubt, it could be dangerous. But you were sure Discord wouldn't just let you get hurt by them. Hopefully, and given this was going to be some sort of massive prank… he might even give you some magical power. Yeah, that's actually pretty exciting. Just turn the whole hive upside down.

You reach the fountain, toss in your map, and dive into the portal. When you get into your room. You hang your saddlebag, top hat, and put away your suit. Welp, it had to be dinner time by now.

You open the floor door. And what you are greeted by is absolute darkness. "The hell? What's he up to this time?" You poke your head down and look around. Everything was pitch black. except for a spotlight in the distance that was over a chair and a desk.

"I… guess I should go down? What in the hell could this be?" You cautiously go down the invisible gravity stairs and head over to the light. You notice that there are two hayburgers on the desk… That's pretty simple for a dinner… if it was dinner. Was this a dream?

You sit down… and poke at the burgers. They seem legit… and you were hungry.

"Discord?... Luna...?" You look around… Nothing. You start carefully eating one of the hayburgers. Nothing happens… and the food ain't bad. You finish the second hayburger. This had to be some sort of trick...

Suddenly, a spotlight activates ahead of you. It lights up… a projector? Then another spotlight in the distance. Someone is under it… and they start walking closer.

Oh, what a relief… it's Discord. But his clothes… He's dressed as a general. Complete with a horse crop. He was marching down from the distance, towards the projector. Poised and dignified. Finally, he stands before you. and turns to face you.

"Private Anon, why are you late for the briefing?"

Private? Ahhh… ok, you get the shtick. had a good reason as to why you were apparently late. "I didn't even know you were doing this. I kind of had things to do. And uhh… stuff happened. What do you want from me, huh?"

"What I want is your full attention Anon. Tomorrow, we will be bringing chaos and disorder to the changeling hive!" Discord slapped his horse crop behind him as a screen for the projector appeared in a new spotlight. "We will need to be vigilant, smart, dedicated… and… well, you could use a thesaurus if you need to know any other words… But the point is, this will be a group effort. And it will… be… fun."

Can't argue with that. "So, what's the plan General Discord?... Sir.."

Discord moves aside as the projector sputters and starts. "I'm glad you asked Anon, I've prepared a movie that should explain everything. And in case it doesn't. Do feel free to ask your questions AFTER the presentation."

You stare at the screen as old timey war music type of music plays. "Hello Soldiers of chaos! I'm your host, General Discord. And I welcome you to the wonderful world of disorder and mayhem!" Everything in the movie was sepia tone. And the Discord in the movie… was like some 1960s cartoon. "Of course, to all of you who are watching. You know that tomorrow's campaign will take place at the hive of the changelings! But where is this hive you might ask… well… that isn't important now is it?"

The screen shows a tower, with a crudely drawn Chrysalis on the top, and a ton of changelings on the bottom. "This is a layout of the hive you will be causing your mischief. And although not important, we do know how you like to get curious about such needless details." The screen then shows Chrysalis herself in better detail… except she has devil horns, a beard and an eyepatch. A sign hanging from her neck that says "Big Dork". "This will be your target, Private Anon. Yes, I know. Very important for your first mission. But we know you can do it. But ahhh, you must be asking. "How do I even confront her?" Welllllll..."

The screen shows the everfree forest. "You private Anon, will assume the guise of Princess Cadence's cousin. She doesn't actually have one so you needn't wear a disguise. You will be coltnapped from this location and brought to the Changeling Queen herself so she can begin to enact some ridiculously stupid plan of revenge or something… I don't know. But she has a serious hate thing for both Princess Cadence and Princess Twilight." Coltnapped? What?

"Ahhh, but now you must be thinking. "What could I possibly do to her while coltnapped? Will I get cool powers like Discord? Will I get some sort of chaos weapon? Will I get to take a poop on her throne?" The answer to all of these are no… except maybe that last one. No Anon… you will be using the human technique of W.A.C.K.Y. Which means "Wit, Apathy, Cynicism, Key observation, and Yakmilk" ...please do not ask about the yakmilk part of the acronym, because if you do it is clear you are just jealous of my superior naming abilities."

Then the screen shows Discord turning into a Changeling "Anyway, while you are having "fun" with the queen. I shall be doing subtle amounts of chaos in the background. Playing amongst my "fellow" changelings. A few innocent pranks here and there." Then the screen goes back to the tower view with the crude drawings. and red and blue arrows cycling through the changelings and Chrysalis. "With my antics and your W.A.C.K.Y. We should be able to cause even the queen herself to lose her marbles at the sheer amount of confusion and chaos that will be caused. And our end goal, private? Yes, what is the true point of all this? Well..." a huge "?" appears on screen "You'll just have to wait and see.....see you at the war front!"

The movie ends. Discord smiles at you "Any questions?"

"Two… First one: what did the movie mean by W.A.C.K.Y?"

Discord looked at you with disapproval, tapping his talon at his horse crop. "Are you serious Anon? It's a trait that you possess that nopony else would be able to replicate."

You were confused. You got the words in the acronym...but. What did it all mean? "And that is...?"

Discord sighs. "Ok… tell me Anon, if say… a pony, be it colt, filly, mare, or stallion, was foalnapped by a scary being. How would they react?"

That wasn't hard. "They'd be scared"

Discord nods "And what would happen if they knew they'd be kidnapped and they played a role to outwit and cause her undue trouble?"

You thought about that one for a little bit. "Well… I'd guess they'd… just do those things."

"Yes Anon, they would. But, given how most ponies are. How do you think they'd fare?"

...Hmmmm. "They'd probably do alright until things got hairy. Or… I guess let things slip if something didn't go according to plan. Like if I imagined Pinkie Pie doing it. She'd probably drive her up the wall until either things got hairy and she'd get scared. Or Chrysalis just sucks the love right out of her to shut her up."

Discord nods "Now… say, somepony like you were to do it"

"Well I'd probably just act calm if I knew I wouldn't get hurt… I kind of always wanted to question and grill her on the whole Canterlot Wedding thing, and… ohhhh… ok, I see what you mean. But Discord… she's going to get super pissed you know that right?"

Discord smirked "Ohhhhh I know, and with my own going ons, she will go absolutely batty!"

"Yeah but… what if she tries to hurt me… or suck out my love?"

"Oh don't worry about that. I won't let her harm a single hair on your head… as for the whole love draining thing. I'm sure you could figure out a way to prevent that if she does decide to snack on you."

What?! "You can't just make some kind of barrier to protect me from it or something? Come on man, I do NOT wanna know what that feels like."

Discord gave you a pat on the head "Anon, you won't. I have faith that you will figure out how to prevent it when the time comes… Though if it does happen I'll have to keep you inside for a day or two so you can regain your "love". Well, whatever happens, happens." He shrugs.

Dammit, no fucking way. You understood what he wanted you to do. But holy shit, if she decided to drain you. Well… you didn't know how it'd be… but you didn't like the thought of it.

"Discord, I want to do this. I do, it sounds fun as hell… but it also sounds dangerous."

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to Anon."

Really?....he was willing to give up on it if you said no? "Look, I want to. But just be straight with me. No riddles, no tricks, how do I… personally… avoid having my love drained. It can't be as simple as just thinking really bad thoughts right? Because that's some anti-pixie dust stuff right there"

Discord nods and smiles at you "Why Anon, that is EXACTLY how to do it… so to speak. See, humans possess a special quality that almost everypony in existence does not. Absolute hate and disdain. I'm sure you can work out the rest from there."

Geez, what a way to word it. But… shit, Hitler and Stalin existed. Wow… sounds like the changelings could be obliterated by a rampant army of SJWs. "Ok… I think I can… but Discord… you gotta promise me. Pinkie Promise me, that I won't get hurt. If you can do that. I think I could do my part all the way through. I want to mess with her soooo bad… But I don't want to have a feeling something could go wrong. This is pretty big stuff. These are villains after all."

Discord hesitated at first. But, he could tell you were serious. And in his heart, he didn't want you to worry. Just like you didn't want him to screw up, he didn't want you to screw up or get scared. He just wasn't willing to say it outright.

Discord sighed, annoyed, but he did it… even went through the actual gestures "Fine… how does it go again? Hrnn, ahh yes, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. There, happy?"

You nod with a smile. "Yup, that's all I needed… so… second question… Cadence's cousin… Really?"

Discord pointed to the projector "Well you heard the handsome Draconequus in the movie. She has extreme hate for her plans being ultimately ruined by the efforts of Cadence, her husband, and Twilight and her friends. Capturing and using a relative to achieve her revenge would be high in her to-do list"

Yeah… that made sense, just. "Yeah but, wouldn't she know that Cadence has no cousins? Or wouldn't she notice I was Anon… you know, your son?"

"She would..." Discord suddenly turned into a changeling, then snickered. "If I wasn't the one who was handling her intel… I even had her captain fooled."

Oh geez, seeing a changeling this close… It was… cute and gross... At the same time. Even if it was just Discord changed into one.

"Uh huh… well, that answers that, but… now I have a third question… Is Queen Chrysalis gross looking, you know… up close?"

Discord shrugged as he clickity clacked his right front leg over his left "You're asking me? If I had it my way, I'd just turn her into a female version of myself. And don't get any ideas, I was just answering your question."

Female Discord… If it was like the drawings of Eris… unf… oh geez… now you had it in your mind if he could turn female… once… nope nope nope… you don't want to actually ask that… he'd find a way to twist it. "Yeah I wasn't thinking that"

"Surrrrreeee… In anycase Anon, go get some rest. We have a big big big day tomorrow! Lots of fun and chaos. You are dismissed!" Discord says as he changes back to his normal form. He even gives you a salute before he does.

You chuckle a little at that and decide to salute back. This was gonna be fun. You were sure. You just had to NOT panic. Discord would keep you safe.

You get up and head towards your door which hung in the ceiling.

"Private Anon, there is actually one more thing I wish to say" Discord calls out to you.

Mmmm? You turn around. "What's up? Sir."

"I… just want to wish you good luck on this mission. Nopony else would ever take on such a task with me. And even if Lieutenant Fluttershy did somehow wish to participate. I could never ask her to. It will be a pleasure and an honor working with you!" Discord salutes you again, this time with full bravado and enthusiasm.

It was, kind of cool and cute how he just kept up the whole military act. And those words. Even if it was too… part of the act. They were really nice to hear. Especially from him.

You turn and salute back to him as hard as you can. "I'd follow you to hell and back General,"

The spotlight over Discord disappears after you say that, making him vanish into the darkness. Before he disappeared… you could have sworn he smiled at you. Not an evil or snarky one… but a warm caring one. But you couldn't be sure.

But.. everything should be fine. If you were going to be kidnapped tomorrow, then you had a feeling you weren't even going to wake up in your bed. You had to make sure not to slip that you weren't Cadence's cousin or that this was just one big act.

You go back up the gravity stairs and into your room as thoughts of tomorrow fill your head. It was exciting. You were going to mentally go toe to toe with one of the series big villains. Yeah, you had a safety net. But still, you yourself had to not screw up or else the game would be over. You also had to do well. You had a feeling of what you had to do. You were going to be like a critic to her villainy. You wondered what Discord would be up to as well… Whatever it was, you had to synchronize whatever he did with your own moves. And finally… what was that goal the movie was talking about? Either it was a joke, something huge, or something silly... and hopefully nothing evil.

You hop onto your bed and snuggle into your pillow. Yeah, Diamond Tiara and School… the CMC… all of that would have to wait. Tomorrow, you were going to have fun with your "Dad"

Chapter 56

View Online

Another day passes. It is now morning. The birds are singing and the wind is warm. The sun is bright and sunny.


"Gyuuuuh!" You lift your head up quickly as you realize you are outside. Shit… Discord doesn't waste any time.

Outside… ok, so you weren't kidnapp- coltnapped yet. You stand upright and look around. Forest all around you.


You take a few steps forward, and then feel something blowing along your neck. You put your hoof to it… a piece of paper? You take it and give it a look over. "Oh, it's a note from Discord… lesse, yadda yadda remember what we talked about. Bla bla… Princess Cadence's cousin… Oh this is new… hmm… So they are waiting for me up ahead. Disguised as the CMC huh? Lesse… oh, OH… really, cutie mark in forest exploration. Ok, and this message will self destruct in one second. Ok… WAIT WH-"

You didn't even have enough time to react as the paper explodes in a spark, blowing black smoke and ash into your face. The smoke clears, and you sigh, annoyed. Mostly with yourself… "How did I not see that one coming..."

You use your right hoof to wipe off your face. Then start walking forward. You didn't even have your map with you. So no hasty escapes were possible. Oh joy… time to get coltnapped.

After a while of walking deeper into the forest. You see the rustling of bushes. And quiet girlish speaking that sounded like the CMC… Yep… here we go. "Hello?...girls..are you here?" You tried to act as innocent and boyish as possible.

And with that, the "CMC" came out from behind the bush, bearing smiles on their faces… but bearing no cutie marks… Hahahaha, they were behind the times.

"Heya Anon, glad to see ya made it! That must mean ya got our note!" Said the Applebloom.

Had to be another note. If you had to guess, Discord, disguised as a changeling, probably set this up to happen as if you were actually going to get kidnapped. There was a note, you just never got it.

"Ummm, yup, can't wait to get our cutie marks so I can make my cousin proud… and stuff."

The Sweetie Belle gave you a nod and a smile, an almost twisted evil smile "That's great! Because Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, and myself found this flower just over there that we can study and figure out what it does! Isn't that neat?"

The Applebloom looked over to the false Sweetie Belle with a mean face. " mean Scootaloo, me, and you… who is Sweetie Belle… right?"

The Sweetie Belle looked confused "Wait… isn't he, er… she Sc-" Before the Sweetie Belle could finish her sentence. Applebloom gives her a quick whap.

You wanted to facehoof so badly. They were so… Goddamn terrible… "Is something wrong girls?"

Suddenly Scootaloo and Appleloom snapped back to "themselves" as Sweetie Belle rubbed her face from the whap.

The Scootaloo quickly speaks, a little panicy "N-nothing's wrong Anon… just those morning mind melts huh? Can never think straight when it's morning right?"

Morons… "Yeah… morning, so, uhh… the flower, it's over there right?" You point ahead past the bushes.

They all nod. The Applebloom speaks "Well, let's go and examine it already!"

They take you to an open spot where a single white flower blooms in the center. Ugh… sleep pollen probably.

"There it is" The Sweetie Belle tells you "Quick Anon, go examine it so we can get our cutie marks… in… things..."

The Applebloom whaps the Sweetie Belle again

This was soooo goddamn dumb. Whatever… time to sleep. You walk over to the flower, with each step. You could hear them snickering evilly. How do cartoon characters fall for this shit, really… You look at the flower, and give it a tap… nothing. Probably have to smell it. You lean over and give it a whiff. Nothing… "Hey girls… isn't this kind of flower supposed to… I dunno, have a sleep pollen in it or something?"

Before you could turn around. You get smacked hard enough in the head to knock you out. You fall to the ground, your vision blurring hard. Dammit… Always the head… The last thing you hear is their evil laughter as they comment on how stupid you are for falling for it. They then proceeded to chastise one among them… Probably the one who was Sweetie Belle...

Next stop… The hive.

You slowly awaken… Ugh, goddamn. They hit your pretty hard. You get up with caution and take a look around. It seems you were inside a castle… or the tower as it was. You were surrounded by three stone walls, and a fourth wall made of some green gunk. Despite the hue being green past it, you could tell you were in some dilapidated throne room. You take a look out the window… It was foggy and misty… but you could see enough that you were quite high...

This was it… Woo, it actually was a little overwhelming. Straight to the top. Discord trusted you to mess with the head honcho herself. So, whatever he was doing. It was probably to the hive itself...

You had to remain cool headed… suave… and make sure you could outwit the queen herself. This wasn't about escaping. This was about messing with her and deliberately pissing her off. And to do that, you had to reassure yourself that Discord wasn't going to let you get killed.

"Hello? anypony here?" Then you hear it, evil laughter. Evil female laughter. From the queen no doubt. You look around, but you don't see her.

"Well well well, who would have thought it would have been this easy..." You could hear her talking… but still, nowhere in sight. "To think that wretched princess would let her own family wander into the Everfree by himself. Hahahahahaha, that's very unlike her. Makes me wish I could feed on the irony of it… So, you are Anon, hmm?"

"Yeah, you must be Queen Chrysalis… right?"

Chrysalis giggles at the answer. then, with a shimmer of green light. You can see her eyes glowing through the green wall in a dark corner. She comes walking out like the bug she is with a victorious smirk on her face. "I'm flattered that you know that. Really I am. it saves me the trouble in explaining just how miserable your stay here will be. Because Anon, I'm soooo sorry to say, but you are going to be with us for quite some time" She gave you a face of false pity.

This was your first opportunity. It was time to muster up all that saturday morning know how and use it… because goddamn this whole damn operation depended on it. "Really?... oh" You acted stoic and uncaring. "Then can I get a blanket and a pillow?"

That catches Chrysalis immediately offguard. She expected you to cry out for help, try the window only to mock you on how high you were, or hell, cry and call out for your mother or Cadence… but instead… a pillow and blanket? "Excuse me?"

"A pillow and a blanket… You know, for me to sleep on? It's kind of chilly in here..."

Chrysalis chuckled "Oh, we have a comedian. Tell me, do you want me to serve you drinks too?"

You smile and nod. "Oh man! That'd be great! Can I get an orange soda?"

Chrysalis's smirk started to disappear "Surreee, you can have ice cream too… and maybe I can read you bedtime stories."

Before you can say anything about that, Chrysalis then slams her hoof to the ground to catch your attention as green flames flicker upwards around her. "You foolish child! You are MY prisoner and what you have is what you'll get! You think you can act brave and try to make a fool of me? You think your precious cousin and her friends are coming to save you right now, hmm? you think they are just going to come right in and stop me and my plans?!"

You shake your head and shrug, acting stoic. "Nope, I doubt any of them know where I am… geez, I just wanted to get comfortable. Is this how you treat all your prisoners? Ugh… at least Tirek had the decency to let his victims still go home."

This… this caused a noticeable eye twitch in Chrysalis. "A-are you comparing me to Tirek? Do you not realize the kind of trouble you are in? I'm about to conquer all of Equestria thanks to you. Thanks to your stupidity. Do you not realize that you will be used to bring your family and friends to their knees?"

You shrug . "Eh, things happen I guess… Now can I get that blanket and pillow?"

Chrysalis slams her hoof on the green wall, looking at you viciously. "NO! I WILL NOT TELL YOU AGAIN! YOU ARE A PRISONER! UNDERSTAND YOUR PLACE, WORM!"

You roll your eyes at her. "Geez, when I get out of here I'm just going to tell everypony that I'd rather be kidnapped by some diamond dogs. At least they are capable of compromise with their prisoners."

"THIS ISN'T A SERVICE! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO RATE BEIN-" Before she could finish yelling at you, the door opens from behind her. a changeling, a little bigger than the others and wearing a silver helmet steps in, he looks worried

"My queen! We have a problem!"

"WHAT IS IT?!" Chrysalis turns to him, still flustered.

The changeling cowers,scared from her anger. "W-well… u-uhh… the workers… and soldiers… they started floating about."

Chrysalis took breaths to calm herself.

The changeling took a reluctant step forward. "My queen?"

Chrysalis took one more breath, Then spoke "Captain… what do you mean they are "floating"? Are they just flying around?"

The captain shook his head "Come see for yourself."

Chrysalis shifted her view to you for a moment, then stepped out the door with her captain and looked down the steps. You could still see them through the door. and hear them.

Whatever they were looking at, the captain looked scared. "B-but my Queen, they were. L-look, some of the workers look confused..."

Chrysalis rolled her eyes and stepped into the room "Captain, it is obvious to me you are hallucinating from hunger."

The captain follows. "I-I...suppose..."

Chrysalis chuckled as she looked at you with a vicious grin "Not to worry. I'll be sending you out with a small party to gather some of the local vermin for some food… but first… why don't you have a light snack? You do look like you need a pick me up"

Ahh shit… You weren't expecting this this early… FUCK… ok ok… Just., do the thing. The negativity thing.

"You're too kind my queen...." The captain turned to you, eyeing you with a sinister glare.

"Tell me Anon, tell me how it feels to know that your cousin, your parents, and your friends cannot save you from this. Have you ever been feasted upon by a changeling? I wouldn't know the feeling. But I always look into my victim's eyes as I feed… and the look on their face as their love is drained from them… it's always so… delicious. Next time, you'll remember your place."


The captain licks his lips as his horn begins to glow. And he just stands there, you just look at him, after awhile, he begins to struggle.

"Captain, what are you doing? I said LIGHT snack." Chrysalis tells him as she pushes him away.

"M-my queen… I… I apologize… B-but I… I wasn't able to feed off of him."

Chrysalis cocked an eyebrow at him "Excuse me? Captain… are you lying to me so you could feed to your heart's content? Nopony can resist us, you know that."

The captain looked really panicky. Whatever you did… it fucking worked. "M-my Queen, f-forgive me… But I'm telling you the truth. I'd never take advantage of your care."

"We'll see.." Chrysalis turns to you, unamused as her horn starts to glow. Here we go again.

She tries feeding off of you. The same as the captain. Unlike him though, you could feel a small tingle. But you still feel the same. And the Queen herself… She started to struggle, harder and harder. Until she backed off, and grew angry again, enough to lose her cool and slam both hooves on the wall this time. It seems not being able to feed was a trigger. "YOU LITTLE! GRRR HOW CAN YOU RESIST?! YOU SHOULD BE BRIMMING WITH LOVE! SCARED! WISHING YOUR COUSIN WAS HERE! NOPONY CAN RESIST US! NOPONY!"

You shrug, and give her an empty look. Boy, you wanted to laugh. This was pretty fun… you were glad that wall was there though. She looked like she wanted to tear you apart. "Look lady, I have to deal with the daily reminder that I actually played Sonic 06. There is no love to be had with that. Then there's other shit like like Call of Duty kids, the fact Megas XLR ended, that Conway Twitty thing from Family Guy, goddamn everything from Star Wars Episode 1, "The world ends with you" not getting a sequel, and Flash Sentry… Ugh… gives me a stomach ache just thinking about it."

Her eye twitched again, she turned to her captain, her voice ever quiet yet filled with rage. "Captain… leave us… I want to be alone."

The Captain hesitatingly bowed "As you wish my queen."

You watched the Captain leave as Queen Chrysalis stared into your eyes deeply, she looked angry and confused "What is your secret? How are you able to protect your love from me… me… ME! ME, THE QUEEN!" She loses it for a quick second. And takes deep breaths to calm herself down.

"I gave you a list. Do you know how it feels to go online and see a timer for what looks like a sequel to one of the best games ever? and it turns out to be some damn tablet port?! Ughhh… Now I actually feel pretty angry myself."

"What does that even mean?! What are you talking about?! HOW DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT STOP ME FROM FEEDING?! No..."

Chrysalis steps away, speaking to herself, you could hear her "This colt. How? The only way he could resist is if he somehow couldn't love. But that's impossible. Everypony loves...Sickening, but it's the truth"

"You know I can hear you right? Look, let me give you an example. Say there was a set of games you really like, and then an HD collection came out of those games and you drop down 50 dol… bits… and then you are super excited to play… only to find out everything on the collection is a buggy unplayable mess. I'm gonna tell you right now, I couldn't even masturbate for a week after that. Don't even get me started on what happened with the new one"

Chrysalis turned to you, doing her best to remain calm. "You are a special kind of brat. You know that? You think you can spout nonsense at me and I'll accept it? You really expect me to believe that this "HD" nonsense allows you to resist me? No matter how bad the experience… everypony loves… for at least for the fact that the horrid moment is over and they can be around their loved ones."

"Try telling a guy named Chris-chan that after he saw that Sonic's arms were blue. His love and enthusiasm… gone."

"......." The queen just stares at you. She was trying to think of something else to say.

Suddenly, the Captain burst into the room in a panic "MY QUEEN! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!"

Chrysalis turned to him, silently, then groaned "What is it now? Can't you see I'm having a migraine?"

The Captain closed the door tight "The dungeon! It's suddenly flooded!"

Chrysalis face did not change, she just began to rub her forehead. "Good...maybe we can toss Anon in there and he'll actually care enough about something… like his life"

You know, having time to look at her. She looked gross in some her stomach..but..she was pretty sexy looking in the face and hair… and those teeth… unf.

The Captain shook his head "You don't understand, it's a flash flood! It came out of nowhere!"

Chrysalis's attention raised a little more as she walked over to the door to move her captain aside and look. "Flash Flood? How bad is it?”

The captain held fast and shook his head "B-Bad, we should immediately evacuate through the window!"

Chrysalis leered at her Captain and pushed him aside "Nonsense, we are on top of the tower. What we should do is evacuate the low-"

Before she could finish her sentence the door burst off it's hinges as half the room filled with rushing waters as it burst through the window that was behind a broken throne. Slamming Chrysalis and The Captain into the wall. The green wall started to crack from the water's force. No doubt this was Discord's doing. Top notch stuff… or you just thought that because this wall was protecting you from the watery slam.

Finally, the room drained as the flood began to subside back through the door. Some of the green wall cracked enough that it slowly fell apart. Giving you an exit. The Captain and Chrysalis were slowly sliding down the wall, spitting out water.
Now, you knew escape wasn't an option. But...

You looked up… there was a tattered banner hanging up on the ceiling. But the bottom end was low enough that if you hopped off the throne. You could probably...

You step out of your prison and climb onto the throne, and then, like a kitten, slowly reach and pull yourself up to the back end and balance yourself at the tippy top.
As you shake your butt to make a spring jump towards the banner. Chrysalis started coming out of her daze. "W-what happened… what?"

You jump up, and grab the banner with your teeth. You hang there, and growl and pull at it until you fall with the banner to the floor.

"CAPTAIN! GET UP YOU FOOL! HE'S MAKING AN… e… scape?" Chrysalis watches as you take the banner back through the hole in the green wall. You then wrap yourself in it and cuddle in it's warmth.

The Captain slowly recovers and tries to stand.

Chrysalis herself just stands weren't escaping…

Hey, this banner was actually pretty warm. Woo!

Chrysalis just stares at you… confused "What… what are you doing?"

"What's it look like? I told you I needed a blanket… think you could get me a pillow?"

Chrysalis looked to her captain, calmly. Sickeningly calm. "Captain...are you alright?"

The Captain shook himself to dry off "Y-yes my queen."

"Good… Would you mind… imitating Anon for a moment?" She asked

The Captain complied without question, but he was worried about the request "Y-yes, my Queen… I-is this to your liking?" He says as he transforms into yourself

Chrysalis nods "Yes… Yes it is.."

Suddenly Chrysalis flew into a rage and sucker punched her captain right out the window. Then took a deep breath. "...That helped....a little..."

She then eyed you, menacingly "You seem to think this is all a big joke. But you forget that you have no way of beating me. So if you thought you could continue your fun and games… you are wrong. There is no escape… In fact, I know something that will make you wish you hadn't crossed me. A nice, beautiful tale. Stay cuddled in that "blanket" of yours Anon… you'll need some sort of security after this.." She calmed herself, and even chuckled.

Oh boy, story time!

"You see Anon, we don't plan to confront your cousin… or her friends, or even the princesses any time soon. No, we plan to let them stew for awhile. Let them get worried for you… scared for you. They will send out hunting parties and will perhaps find a trace of you here and there. But never anything conclusive. They will mourn you, they will double, triple… quadruple their efforts. They will miss you. Hold services for you. The princesses will gather to give your cousin hope… to give the ponies hope. Love will amass onto Equestria like air to a balloon. It will be the feasts of feasts. We will become so powerful that nopony will be able to stop us. And we will attack from within, so nopony could mount a defense. We will rule ALL of Equestria. And it will be all your fault for being a STUPID little colt!" Chrysalis sneers and snickers at you "Tell me… how do you feel now Anon? Now that you know you've doomed all Pony kind."

Woah, that's a… pretty good plan actually. You even clap your hooves to it. "I'm impressed. That's a pretty good plan. But… I dunno, after what happened at that wedding. I question your ability to pull that off."

Chrysalis was stunned. How could you… this… colt… child… find her plan agreeable?! You were supposed to be scared and think of all the loved ones you hurt. "...What? What's wrong with you?! Don't you care about anypony?!"

You nod. "Well duh, course I do. But hey, when I hear a good plan, I gotta compliment it. But as I said. You'd probably screw it up." You look down at you hooves and start bouncing about some green rubble between them. "Yup… probably screw it up.."

Chrysalis, whether she was insane or curious...or both. was intrigued by your words. "And tell me… how could I possibly screw up?"

"Well… when you managed to take over Canterlot. You pretty much had everything in the bag. You defeated Celestia, prevented Twilight from getting the elements, and wreaked havoc across the city. But then you kind of stood there… stood there while my cousin and her husband just torched you and your entire army with some kind of love blast. Really, that was just really stupid. I could only imagine how you'd screw up this time. You'd probably start gloating and make fun of everypony… especially Fluttershy."

Chrysalis gave you a dismissive and mocking expression "And what's wrong with that? Are you honestly suggesting that I shouldn't make fun of that worthless weakling? Hahaha, I remember her… so soft, so loving, so… pathetic. Oh, if only I had the time. I would have feasted on her slowly… As for my mistake, well, I simply won't make it twice. It's that si-"

Before she could finish her sentence. you both hear crazy rustling and screaming coming from downstairs.

Oh boy… wonder who is causing that. You wondered if he heard that particular piece of dialogue.

The captain burst through the door, wet, scared "MY QUEEN! WE HAVE A VERY BIG PROBLEM!"

Wow, he's persistent. Even after getting slammed out the window. he was still loyal. Chrysalis turned to her captain, crazy eyed "WHAT IS IT!? EITHER IT'S THIS STUPID COLT AND HIS ANNOYING ATTITUDE! OR IT'S YOU! HOW DO I KNOW YOU AREN'T THE PROBLEM!?"

The Captain gulped "B-but… m-my Queen… it's.. it's..GSJFDSF" Suddenly, the Captain turned into a golden chair as he screamed a muffled, unrecognizable scream.

Chrysalis stepped back "Did he? Oh no… have I lost it?"

You smiled to yourself. "...oh, you haven't lost it."

Chrysalis turns to you, then at the door when a familiar figure bursts in. It was Discord. "HELLO EVERYPONY!"

"No… It can't be… Why?" Chrysalis's voice broke. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Oh but it is! a pleasure to meet you Queen Chrysalis… Not too big of a fan, but today I thought I'd pay you a visit" Discord smiled at her, then looked down at the Captain "Do you mind if I sit down? No don't answer that, of course you don't" Discord sits down on the captain. rubbing his ass all over his chair face before settling down "There we are… all comfy. So, how are we doing today?"

Chrysalis stepped back, She knew of his power. And he just turned her captain into a chair. She dare not look at the rest of her hive. "So you're Discord… What do you want with us? Can't you see we're busy? Or were you sent here by those insufferable ponies that you have befriended."

Discord smiled at her as he produced two tea cups full of tea, he took one and sipped "Oh I could see you were busy, but I can promise you, I wasn't sent here. Care for some tea?"

Chrysalis just looks at the other teacup, and snarls.

Discord gives her a look of disapproval "Well now, sorry I asked.."

"Just state your business!" Chrysalis barked at him "If you're here to take my prisoner, then leave. I need him… as horrifying as he may be."

"Take? Oh no no no, I'm not here to take. What do you take me for, a thief?" Discord looked shocked at the insinuation.

"Then what? Do you think I'll just invite you into my plans… I know about you… I know you have a knack for betrayal… The princess's cousin is mine. Now leave… I could arrange for my changelings to ruin whatever you have with your insipid friends. They don't trust you as is."

Discord chuckled "Oh, I have no intention of joining your plan. I also don't plan on taking the Princess's cousin… I just came for him" Discord points to you.

Chrysalis was confused "What?"

You wave to Discord and rush up to him, giving him a hug. "Hey Dad! What's up!"

Discord picks you up and cradles you in his arms "Oh not much Anon, just Chaos and Anarchy… You know, the normal things."

You giggle. "Oh right, oh,hey! You know this place doesn't even offer blankets and pillows?"

Discord puts his talon'd hand to his cheek in shock "Really? Well, we'll just have to put in a complaint about that. No blankets and pillows? pffft. I bet that Sombra fellow at least offered entire beds to his prisoners during his rule. I think we'll have to put in a complaint to the owner of this establishment..." Discord looks to Chrysalis "That'd be you...right?"

Chrysalis just stood there, her mind piqued with confusion and shock. Her mouth agape. "........"

Discord put you down and hurried you along behind the stunned queen and positioned you to her side as he stood to her other side "Ok, now Anon, look forward and say "Chaos!". "

What? Oh hey, a camera… Oh.. OH.. SHIT… Now THAT made you smile.

"1....2.....3" And then you both cried out "CHAOS!"

The camera snapped the picture then disappeared. Discord and you chuckling as the Queen just continued to stand there

"Oh I hope I caught our good sides" Discord grinned

You couldn't stop laughing. "I don't think I had any sides to catch. Oh geez, Discord, Look at her, we got her so damn good."

Discord waved his paw in front of her, no reaction. "Indeed, I don't think she was able to comprehend you being my son. Oh well" He shrugs.

"Nice touch with the flood thing. She slammed right into the wall, really hilarious"

"Oh the entire hive slammed into walls, it was pandemonium! But Anon, I noticed your cage was broken when I got up here, and you were wrapped up in a banner. what was that about?"

"Oh, the water weakened the wall. So I just grabbed it so I could warm up. Man, she freaked out when she thought I was escaping. Then her reaction when she noticed I wasn't...oh man, she had her captain turn into me just so she could clobber him. Pure gold"

"She did?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA… I wish I could have seen that. Masterful work Anon, I am impressed!"

"Really?" Your smile becomes softer. Those words...

"You think I did a really good job… At causing chaos?"

Discord nods "I do, just look at-" Chrysalis cuts him off as she breaks from her confused coma and rushes at you, swearing revenge.


You cover yourself with your hooves to defend yourself. And as she dives at you, she dives through you and falls out the window, screaming.

Discord looks out the window "Hmmm… I think she's upset"

You touch yourself, you were fine, everything intact… "Oh..geez… I thought she was going to tear me limb from limb."

Discord patted your head "I told you, I wasn't going to let any harm befall you… but… we should get going now. She doesn't seem to be in as happy a mood as we are."

You nod, you super agreed with that. But then, you looked at the Captain chair. "Can we take him with us? As a souvenir?"

Discord shook his head "I'm afraid not,his look clashes with my house's decor"

"But your decor is always random"

Discord shrugs "True, but having a chair that would always be a changeling isn't very… chaotic. No, we'll leave it"

"Awww… ok. Hey, you did actually snap a picture right?"

Discord nods "Yes, and I'll get copies ready soon. For now we should head home."

Discord snaps his talons, teleporting both you and him back to the house. Before you fully phase out, you can see the queen at the window, frothing at the mouth "I'll get you! I'll find out where you really live! and you will feel the wrath of my whole hive! I will have my revenge!"

You just smirk, and stick your tongue out at her. The last thing you see is her shocked anger at your insolence before you end up back at the house.

Chapter 57

View Online

Returning home. You and Discord have a round of victorious laughter among yourselves. Not only did you meet Chrysalis face to face. But you came out of it unscathed with sweet sweet victory. All you could think about was her reaction to being defeated. It was a dream come true!

"Ha! Discord! That was fucking awesome! That was the best fucking thing ever! That was... That was goddamn amazing!" You cheered in excitement.

"Indeed" Discord chortled "I hadn't had that kind of fun in quite a bit. Well, since the last time I toyed with Twilight"

"Dude, you were fucking amazing!" You clapped for him "I mean, did you see the way she reacted?"

Discord took a bow as he answered with an arrogant smirk "Oh yes, I did. And her vows of vengeance. Truly comical! As if she could do anything to us"

"Yeah! As if..." Wait a second. Oh dammit, she did make a claim for revenge, didn't she? "She... could... Wait. Hold on, she couldn't really do anything. Could she?"

Discord shrugged "Doubt it. Relax Anon, don't let this bother you. I doubt she could even find this place"

Except... "But didn't some mail pony find this place?"

Discord, only having a vague memory of that mail pony, nods "Yes, I suppose if a mail pony could find me then she could find us as well. Not that it matters, she'd have to be crazier than I am to come here… or a masochist.

Well that was reassuring, It really was, you felt safe and quite celebratory once again. Discord was pretty damn powerful. More powerful than her definitely. Nah, it was nothing to worry about. Even if she tried, she'd probably end up getting eaten or something in the end. Though, looking at Discord. You could sense that he wasn't all there. Looked like something was bothering him.

"Hey Discord, whatcha thinking about? You ok?"

Discord again looked down to you, he seemed lost in his own thoughts. You wondered what he could be thinking about, you thought he'd be celebrating right along with you. "Oh nothing. just preemptively scheming our next adventure"

Discord was lying. In fact, he was starting to think that he may have found the exact kind of friend he was looking for. He'd have Fluttershy for a side of order… and you for a side of chaos. He just couldn't figure out how to find a balance yet. He was, in fact, very impressed, very proud, as he had underestimated just how well you'd be able to get under Queen Chrysalis's skin.. He actually felt a closer bond with you.

"Already? You remember I have school tomorrow right? Speaking of, how exactly is that gonna go? Don't I need school supplies?"

"Are you worried you won't be ready for something as simple as school?"

You shake your head. "No, it's just it's going to be weird going to school again… in a pony world. I just want to make sure everything is the same as far as preparations go"

"Don't worry about that Anon, I'll have everything ready to go for you in the morning." Discord then chuckled "I just hope you're prepared to bring me nothing but A+'s given your actual age… oh, and if I have to be called in for a parent teacher conference, it better be because you turned the whole school upside down… literally or figuratively… I don't care which."

You smirk at him. "Nothing but A+'s huh? Ok "Dad", I'll do you proud… but uhh, seriously… that's stuff I got to worry about tomorrow. And since you said you got it handled… you wanna do anything right now? It's not like it's time to go to bed or anything."

Discord was a little caught off guard by that "You want to hang out with me?"

You nod "Yeah why not? I mean, you're Discord! Spirit of Chaos. You'd be surprised how many people want to hang out with you. And as for me in particular… I just want to hang out, we see each other all the time. But we never actually… you know, hang out. We just do things."

Discord didn't seem ready for that at all, he darted his eyes around "Hang out… Hang out… well… what do you want to do then? I doubt you'd like to do what me and Fluttershy does."

Cucumber sandwich's and tea? Nah, but… well… maybe you could actually. Just sit down and learn about him.

"Well, why not? There's a lot I really don't know about you, I just know from the show how you are. I mean, I'm sure nobody has ever actually wanted to talk about your antics when you got freed from your stone prison the first time. "

"Of course they don't, they don't appreciate that brand of chaos"

You sat your ass to the ground, and curled your tail. "Well, I'd like to talk about it. I want to know how you felt, why you did it. Everything. I won't judge, I get a kick out of that kind of stuff"

Discord was intrigued by your curiosity "You humans… This is why you're so interesting sometimes. Even tales of chaos, evil, and mayhem can catch your interest and make you want to know more. But, since you wish to know what I thought and how I felt during my chaos spree… well..."

Suddenly, all the lights went off. "What? Who turned off the lights?" Suddenly, you hear piano music as a spotlight goes over Discord, who was in his suit and top hat, he was… playing a Piano. "Discord?...what's going on?"

"Oh not much, just warming up to tell you my tale" Warming up...

"Oh wait… oh..." Oh… here it comes.
The music he was playing started to get louder, as you could hear more instruments playing around you. You slowly walked over to Discord.

"Well Anon" then he started to sing,slowly "The story of my revival isn't looooong. But if you wish to join in and sing alooooong. Then all you have to do is join in on my soooooong"

Oh god.. "Discord all I wanted was some normal dialogue, you can't actually be thinking I'd sing along? Just tell me how you had fun and messed with pone"

"Egads Anon, watch your tone."

"What tone? Oh no! What? Am I singing?"

Discord chuckles "Singing? I wouldn't call it that, not when you sound like a screaming cat"

"Ok look, let's stop this music and just get to what I want to hear, the story of Discord and how he brought chaos and fear"

Dammit, you couldn't stop.

Suddenly, you were in the Canterlot Gardens… but in the past. You could see Discord as a statue. “Well here I am, oh glorious me, turned to stone, but able to see. "See?" you ask? Well that's quite easy, it was all the order in this world… It made me quite queezy"

You kept your mouth shut. Discord eyed you, then focused on the piano as things started to play out like the episode.

"And then by sheer dumb luck, your friends came by. And of course, to nopony's surprise. They had a fight. That plight! that Spite! It was pure delight!"

the tune started to get more fun and jaunty, if it wasn't for the fact you refused to participate. You might dance along to it. "And then who came to reclaim his might?" The music stopped as you suddenly flew right in front of Discord.

He stared at you, waiting for your word. The music stopping. He… looked really into it. And as you looked at yourself, you saw that you too were in your suit and top hat.

Fine. "Discord"

Discord jumped up in celebration as the song continued "That's right! Freed at last and wanting fun, I went over to ole sunbuns, but of course being old and a dummy, I had to find some new friends, and get chummy."

"So the Mane six arrived to Canterlot Castle, where you just wanted to give them a hassle?"

"More than a hassle"

"Well now I'm baffled"

"No worries Anon, it's easy to understand. I needed to make sure there was unlimited fun to be had. But to destroy these ponies, no that wouldn't do."

"So you messed with the mane six, I get that you wanted fun. Warping their mind, you almost really won. But tell me Discord why you did all those things. There had to be a reason to ever-ry--thiiiinggg"

"Well, now I'm glad you asked Anon." Everything went dark once more. As Discord stood on his throne across a vast distorted wasteland. "Chaos And Disorder, that was the name of the game!"

"Remove strife and everything that's lame!"

"Everypony would adore me, by their will or not"

"While Equestria itself simply..."

"Went to pot?"

"Now you're getting it Anon"

"So there was nothing serious at play?"

Discord shook his head "no no"

"You just wanted order to stay away?"

Discord nodded "Far Away"

"Well then, I think I get it now, you just wanted to be a clown. Make the world your circus act, giving harmony itself a big ole whack"

"That's right, I would be king of all that's wrong, and it would go on forever long. They say that rulership comes to an end, but when it comes to me that concept can get bend!"

"It's bent… actually"

Discord rolled his eyes.

"So what's the conclusion to all this? That you just wanted to cause a mess?"

"Why, yes!"

"That's so simple, I should have known.."

"Well you did want to be told! And now we must conclude our little symphony."

"Oh thank god, Finally."

"That's right Anon, to the Finale!" The music blares as the lights go out for a moment. You find yourself alone on stage, balancing yourself on a cane. What? "I tried so hard to make it last, but in the end I was hit by a harmonious blast. You know the rest, through the window you glanced, now come on Anon, Finish with a big dance!"

What?! You could hear the music picking up for a dancing solo… Dance? Fuck… Everything was so grand. You could see ponies everywhere around you suddenly, glaring at you. all probably illusions. But whatever, they wanted a show. Time for a show. You had already got into the song.

You tried doing a two legged jig as you used the cane for balance. You tried to copy all the moves you could remember from old timey movies and musicals… but you sucked at it. Still, the crowd cheered you on. It motivated you. To try to end the song on a zinger.

"Chaos and Disorder, that was the name of the game....." You could hear the end of the song coming. You dashed back and tried sliding on your back leg knees, taking off and holding your top hat. "BUT NOW IT'S ALL LAAAAMMMEEEEE!"

The song ends. and the lights go off once more. You found yourself on the floor of the living room. Your attire gone. You look around, breathing hard, smiling. "Ha! Haha! How'd I do, pretty good huh?"

Discord face palmed "Now it's all lame? Anon really… we just messed with some changelings and you end the song with that? How does that make sense?"

"Hey… It was the spur of the moment thing… I've never been in a musical number, cut me some slack here."

Discord crossed his arms as he thought about it "I suppose I should. You did alright with the rest of it. So, did that explain everything?"

"Not really. But, I actually had fun with that. No wonder it happens so much on the show."

"You'd be surprised what you'd find fun once you give it a chance. But… if you wanted a simple answer. The simplest I can give you is I just wanted to have fun and create chaos. Of course… I suppose it's alright if I tell you this… After getting to know Fluttershy… I realized, there’s more to existence than just chaos. Sometimes it's nice to just… relax… have a cup of tea, and enjoy some quiet time with your best friend… That's not to say I didn't have fun with you. In fact, it felt glorious to scratch that old itch"

You smile at him. "That's pretty cool of you Discord. I don't know what to say really… just… thanks for everything. Thanks for the fun. I bet you make Fluttershy proud everyday. It must have been really hard to quit being a bad guy."

You've seen him on the show. He valued Fluttershy like no tomorrow. Even willing to get rid of other ponies just to hang out with her.

"Bad guy? me? It was just going to be innocent everlasting fun, that never made me a bad guy… " Discord said, then he sighed " Though I don't know what'd I do if Fluttershy ever saw me as one again..."

D'awwww. "I doubt she ever will. You're a good guy Discord."

"Oh I know I am, and I'm thiiiiissss close to convincing Twilight to letting me have a chair in her castle."

You chuckle at that, you felt comfortable.You felt comfortable around Discord. You were actually just having, a normal moment with him. "Well, if you get one. I hope your ready to solve friendship problems if that map ever says you’re needed."

"Are you insinuating I can't solve friendship problems?"

You shake your head "No… though… I'd love to see that actually. Hell, I'd watch an episode of you trying to solve a friendship problem. It'd be interesting."

"Interesting you say..." Discord started rubbing under his chin "You know… we still have the rest of the day. Why don't we go do just that?"

Wha? "Wait… you mean seriously go out and solve a friendship problem?"

Discord shrugged "Why not? We managed to cause some chaos as the perfect team. So… and I HATE using this phrase but… it stands to reason we'd be the perfect team in solving a friendship problem. Wouldn't you say?".

Actually… you wouldn't know… but the prospect was too good to pass up. You liked hanging out with Discord, especially now that he wasn't torturing you. And doing what the ponies have been doing for 5 years on the show. It'd be a interesting experience to see what it's like.

You nod. "Yeah… no, let's do it. Let's go solve a friendship problem! You and me."

Discord was delighted to hear that. "Glorious, we can get started immediately! Now then."

Discord pulled down a shoddy map of Equestria and stared at it. "Friendship problem… Friendship problem… who is having a friendship problem that only you and me can solve..."

Wow, he was serious about this… but… what pony could be having a friendship problem at this moment? Wait...

You slam your hoof on the map. "I've got it!"

Discord was looking at where you were pointing " the dragonlands?"

Oh, wait… You didn't actually mean you were pointing somewhere. "U-uhh no, I mean, I know who we can help"

Discord was curious "Who? do you actually know of somepony?"

You nod. "Yes… it's the one pony who still has yet to show up again. I don't know what kind of changes it would cause. But I think we should help her before she shows up in Ponyville."

Discord was confused "Who?"

"...Starlight Glimmer."

Chapter 58

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"Anon, that might be a touch out of your league… and quite impossible."

Out of your league? How hard could it be?

"Come on, all you have to do is look at the obvious lesson to be learned and preach it...and what do you mean by impossible?"

"Well, how could we possibly solve this problem when we have no idea where she is?"

No idea? Wait..

"Well, that's easy to find out right? Can't you just do some magic and figure out where she is like you did Queen Chrysalis?"

Discord shook his head. "I didn't use my magic to find the changelings, I only had to look at the most dark, dank, and dreary place in Equestria and there they were. I've never met Starlight Glimmer. I don't know anything about her. I certainly have no way of tracking her."

That's right. the only way he was able to track Tirek was huge fluxes of magic. Unless Starlight was doing anything Tirek tier, you were shit out of luck. "There's really nothing you can do?"

Discord shook his head "Sorry Anon, we'll have to start smaller. Namely, with a pony with a listed address" Discord holds up envelopes with various names on them. "One that I could easily track."

Oh lordy "Do you always pry through ponies' mail like that?"

Discord starts looking through them "Only the interesting ones"

Ha, you can't help but laugh at that. But… to the matter at hand. A pony with friendship problems. Not Moondancer… not… uhh, Cheese Sandwich, not… waaaaaaaaaiiiiiiit.

"Discord I got it… a pony who has to have a mailing address and would have friendship problems."


"Suri Polomare, if I remember correctly. She lost that competition in that episode where, uhh, Rarity makes dresses... She just upped and disappeared, Hell, even her assistant bailed on her. I bet my bits that she's having some sort of issue."

Discord reaches his arm into a portal and pulls out a pawful of letters "Let's see… hmnn… Sapphire Shores, Coco Pommel, Fleur dis li… AHHH here we are… Suri Polomare. Oh Anon, are you sure you're picking the right pony?"

"Why? What's wrong with picking her? It's not like I can pick Gilda, Pinkie already fixed her."

Discord begins looking and reading her mail "Yes but, judging by this mail, she seems to think she's some high class snob. Do you really think she's going to listen to a little colt and the spirit of chaos? No matter how handsome I may be, I'm no miracle worker when it comes to friendship"

Would it hurt to try? It's not like there'd be too big a consequence. She's all the way in Manehatten. What could possibly happen? "Come on Discord, let's just give it a shot. It could be fun, or it might not be. But let's look at it this way, we'd be making a pony's life better if we accomplish this."

"Is that supposed to convince me?"

You shrug. "A little, I mean. If we fuck up we fuck up, Suri was a bitch anyway so it might not matter in the end. Or it could turn out to be like Diamond Tiara. There could be a reason behind it. Aren't you the least bit curious?"

Discord shook his head "No… but you seem very dead set on this. And since this could actually prove a challenge to my friendship solving skills. Then who am I are to argue? I'll simply have to think positive and be optimistic. "

"So we're doing this?"

Discord puts on some sunglasses, and then poofs some sunglasses on to you "We are… Let's go make some friends..."

You lift your sunglasses, and stare at him. "That was terrible..."

Discord lifts his sunglasses and leers at you "Better than "But now it's all lame""

Egh. "Ok, point taken."

A portal opened up in front of you. Beyond it you could see a city. A city of ponies, lights, business, trends, and entertainment. Manehatten.

Before stepping through, you looked at Discord, and scanned your eyes up and down on him. You knew Manehatten wasn't Ponyville, and that his presence might be unwanted. "Uhhh, Discord, actually. Wouldn't the ponies in this city freak out if they just saw you wandering around?"

Discord hadn't given that a thought, he didn't actually care if they did. "And?"

"Won't that make what we're doing problematic if Suri just slams her door in our faces and screams in terror, while other ponies run and hide?"

Discord smirked "You think they would?"

You sigh, it seems he cared mostly about the reputation in Ponyville than Equestria in general. "That's not the point, Discord. Remember? You want ponies to like you? Fluttershy. That whole thing?"

Discord raised his talon to try to refute that point, and then stopped "Hmm… You have a point. I suppose word of my appearance would come down to Ponyville and then there could be all kinds of nasty rumors"

Discord snapped his talons, and transformed before your eyes into the pony form he donned in the tirek episodes. "This better?"

Yeah, not like they knew who he turned into to. "Yep, so, what's the plan of action?"

Discord shook his hoof at you "Ah ah Anon, this is your operation. You're going to have to be the one to come up with the plan."

Ahh shit. "Uhhmm… Well, then uhh… logically, I guess we should spy on her and find out what kind of problems she has"

"Ohhhh, we're going to sneak about? I like this plan already."

"Well, it's not like we're gonna find out by asking her. I’ll figure the rest out while we go along… but uhh Discord, you're gonna have to take us to where she is at. I have no clue where she lives."

Discord holds up her mail and shows it to you "It's right here on her mail Anon"

"...Discord, I have no idea how to get around Manehatten"

Discord took the mail and threw it up. causing it to expand and reshape into a portal that lead right to… a crummy looking apartment.

"Is that better? I really hope you learn your locations when you go to school Anon. Because it troubles me to think what would happen to you without me"

Heh… he might be right about that. If you ended up lost in a city, You wouldn't know what to do. Ponies in Manehatten didn't seem as nice as the ones in Ponyville. If going by the show. But this place… "Discord, what is this place?"

"Where do you think it is?"

This was where Suri was living at? Christ. The walls were peeling, the bed looked lumpy, the furniture looked old and decrepit… "This is where Suri is living?"

Discord nodded as he stepped into the portal "It seems so, come on, let's poke our heads in and see what we can find"

You follow Discord, looking around as the portal closes behind the both of you and changes back into Suri's mail. You could see bugs crawling along a few of the walls. "Christ, what the fuck happened?"

"Wouldn't you know Anon? Or are you assuming I've actually sat down to watch all the episodes of the show?" Discord said as he poked the bed "I might take this, my old bed needs replacing"

"Yeah but, the episode she appeared in. She just… never showed up in the last half. The only way I could think this could have happened was that she got found out and ousted from the fashion world. This whole room is a dump"

Discord was scooching a few bugs into a jar to keep for later. "Oh, I wouldn't go that far, it's much nicer than my room. No matter how hard I try I can't get my pillow to get stiff anymore..."

Discord pushed the pillow on the bed to the ground… it clanked. "And yet she's managed to keep this one as hard as a rock"

That wasn't a good thing. She didn't appear to be home either… Time to snoop.

"Ok, since you say I'm heading this operation. We're gonna have to play a little detective. We need to find anything that points to why she's here and what trouble she might be in."

Discord immediately drops a good sized folder on the bed and smirks at you "Done and done"

Really? Well, you shouldn't complain. This was another pony's life you were dealing with. You just wanted to do some actual info gathering and looking around . It sounded like fun anyway. "Ok then, I guess we don't have to look..."

You walk over to the folder and start sifting through it… photos, newspaper clippings, letters… You then look over to Discord. "This is everything?"

“Everything in the apartment..." Discord went over and looked through the window. "I suppose I'll keep an eye out for our target while you do your "Detective" work."

That was a good idea actually. it would be pretty bad if she just showed up out of nowhere.
You got up on the bed to start looking through the folders comfortably… or you thought it would be. This bed really sucked. "Let's see...."

You sift through the newspaper clippings first. They are mostly of fashion competitions. You don't see Suri's name on any of them though. Just results of ponies who got picked up by ponies like Sapphire Shores or whose fashion lines became the flavor of the month. Then you find a certain article, this one was of Suri...."Fresh Fashionista turns out to be rotten cheat" Harsh, but… deserving… all things considering.

It seems Coco did indeed rat her out. Good for her… Suri treated her like shit. You continued investigating. You could see applications in the folder… most of the earliest ones were of… what you think… of big name fashion producers… but as you go up to more recent applications… they are of desk jobs or other menial work. "Seems she's having trouble finding work. I guess being found out to be a fraud would make things hard. Sounds kind of like what happened with Trixie..."

Hmmm, how far did this rabbit hole go? With each article you looked through, all you could see was how Suri pretty much ruined her own life by trying to ruin Rarity's… Then you find a an interesting piece of mail.

"Huh… Hey..." It's from Coco Pommel. "Discord, check this out. It's from Coco..."

"Hmmm?" Discord moves away from the window and goes over to look at the envelope "Anon, are you seriously going to sift through her mail?"

"You sift through mail, why do you have a problem if I do it?"

"Because you're my son. If anypony knew you were a dirty little snoop, why… what would they think? What would Fluttershy think? They'd expect that from me… but from you? Tsk, tsk, it's shameful."

"I'm sure they'd think that my "Father" was being a bad influence. And I'm sure Fluttershy would take me in for awhile and personally teach me right from wrong… and I wouldn't mind that at all." You smirk at Discord as you try to get the letter out, but you had trouble gripping it.

"Come on… It shouldn't be that hard to pull a letter out of an envelope." Discord's horn lit up and the letter easily slid out of the envelope and onto the bed "There we are."

You just stare at Discord for a moment before you begrudgingly began to look at the letter. "Yeah yeah, if I had magic I could do that too"

Discord frowned. "Well, no need for attitude Anon. I was only trying to help"

Mnnn. He didn't do anything rude or make fun of you when he pulled the letter out.

"Sorry... I thought you were showing me up. Thanks Discord..."

"No problem at all Anon, now then… what does that letter say?"

"Give me a sec… Hnn." Why would Coco even send a letter to Suri, you'd think she would stay far away from her or something. But no, as you read the letter. It actually shows to be quite the opposite. Coco seemed to had found out about the miserable state Suri was in, and offered her a job. Well that's good… until you look at the date of the letter. "Shit… Coco offered her a job"

Discord notes your reaction, and is puzzled by it "And...that's a bad thing because?"

You show him the letter. "This letter is old… I don't think Suri ever took her up on that offer."

Discord was confused by that "Why wouldn't she take it? I love her taste in decor, but I noticed her taste in food is deplorable. And she barely has any to begin with. I know you need money to buy food… Hrnnn… Well now, it's been awhile since the insensible has actually stumped me."

You started to think of a few reasons an antagonist might have. "Could be a number of things. Pride, hate, anger… shame. Though I think we found what we need to solve the problem"

"Really? That was quick. This would have taken Twilight a whole day to figure out something like this. Color me impressed" Discord literally turned green right there and then. But you were too focused to react to it.

"Don't get excited yet. We still need to talk to Suri. And… not let her know that we know."

"What?! Why can't we let her know? Isn't acting the fool actually detrimental to this whole friendship problem thing?"

"Because I doubt she'd be willing to talk to us at all if she knew we dug through her stuff and raided her room."

"I doubt she'd want to talk to us at all period." Discord was having his own look through the articles. "This Suri Polomare doesn't seem to be the type that would associate with the likes of us."

He's probably right… Why would she want to talk to a colt and a stranger about… her… "Holy shit Discord, you're a genius!"

"Oh, I already knew that..." Discord then got confused "What am I a genius about?"

"Think about it, she wouldn't waste her time with us… But she would LOVE to be in the company of some upper crust fashion designer."

"Ahhh I see… But Anon..aren't you a little young to be a fashion designer?"

"You can't just make me older?"

Discord shook his head "I could… but I couldn't sustain it"

Wut? "Why not? It should be simple for you, right?"

"Normally, but you see… do you remember when Twilight used a spell on you to reveal your true form?"

You nod. "Yeah, but it didn't work because of that magic mirror stuff you did. You said It was because I was a natural pony"

Discord nods "Right, You see… when my magic fused with the natural magics of Equestria. It made it impossible for me to actually change your form for any good period of time."

...wait, what… WHAT?!?!


Discord raised his hoof and then lowered it slowly, shushing you "No need to panic Anon, like I said. You are a natural pony, you can even get a cutie mark like anypony else. It's just you happen to be naturally infused with some of my chaos as well. To put it simply, your form is also a small chunk of chaos that I can't change due to the fact that it became a form of chaos that happens to be in the order of things. And causing disorder to it would actually be a form of some obtuse sense of order that can't be sustained by my power..." Discord chuckles "So… I suppose in a sense you really are my son, born from the world's order and my own personal brand of chaos"

...Oh good god. You put your hoof to your face. "You realize what this means right?"

Discord shakes his head "Haven't the slightest… but it's good to see you're taking that bit of information well."

Well, yeah. It didn't really change anything as far as your life went… as long as you weren't stuck as a kid forever. Though… if you had chaos in you… no… you'd save that question for later.

"It means… That you're gonna have to be the big name fashion pony"

"Come again?" Discord blinked, utterly confused

Chapter 59

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"Discord, come on. We're not going to be able to get Suri to open up unless we can get her trust"

"And then we obliterate it when we actually question her on it. Because I don't see how we're going to get her to talk about it without her becoming suspicious. Ponies are trusting… but they aren't THAT stupid."

Hmmm..he had a point. "Ok, then we don't tell her… Let's see... How about we just keep her satisfied, and then have Coco come in and talk with her when she's distracted?"

"You mean put her in a situation where she would HAVE TO confront Coco? Oh yes, that's something I can do quite easily. But why the whole fashion nonsense? I could just lock them both in a room until they've talked it out. Easy peasy."

Yeah… no. "We can't do that. Well maybe we could… ARGHH! THIS IS TOUGH!" You started to get frustrated. "Even if we do the whole fashion thing to lure her in, we'd have to talk to Coco first, get her to be in on it, and then hope Suri just goes for it… But dammit… I don't have a clencher. She'd still realize we were lying to get her to talk to Coco. And like every fucking saturday morning cartoon realization. She'd get pissed off and leave."

"Well, that's not a bad thing, is it? By that logic, we should be able to talk her back in within a twenty two minute time frame… commercials notwithstanding."

"It wouldn't be if it wasn't for the fact that I have no clue on how to go about calming her down. If we can get passed that, I'm sure we could get this whole thing done without a problem."

You both sat around and began to think, taking a look out the window every so often for Suri's presence. There had to be something. a way to clench this problem without anyone going through the annoying "THIS IS STUPID" moment.

While you thought, a bright light suddenly filled the room. "What?" You look up, and you see a lightbulb above Discord's head. lit and floating. "You got an idea there daddio?"

Discord pulled the switch to the magical floating lightbulb and smiled towards you. "Indeed I do, instead of making pointless additions to the plan. Why don't we cut out a piece?"

"Cut out a piece? Cut out what exactly? It's all essential, we just need a clencher."

Discord walked over to you and gave you a pat on the head with his hoof "Silly Anon, I'll never understand you humans and your inability to keep things simple. Here..." Discord makes a chart appear of the plan that has been thought up thus far. "It's a good thing I'm a master schemer Anon, or else you'd be in real hot water right now."

You stare at the chart, then look dismissively at Discord. "I dunno, your plans may be simple but you never win out in the end. Are you sure you got this?"

Discord nods "Yes Anon, I'm sure… I watched enough of the episodes to see how these whole friendship problems work… Anyway..." Discord points his hoof to the chart "Instead of bringing in Coco to talk to Suri, let's cut out bringing in Coco and have her already there."

"What? That won't work. Suri didn't even bother going to see Coco after the letter. She'd just walk out after seeing her."

"Then, we only need Coco's presence. Not Coco herself..."

What did he mean by that? "Go on..."

"Instead it being MY fashion business, it can be Coco's… I'd just be an innocent high end employee to bring Suri in due to her "potential"... Do you see where I'm going with this?"

You think you did. "So, uhh… we're gonna hide the fact she's "working" for Coco. So when she finds out she'd have no reason to say no? Since she'd already be her employee?"

Discord nods as the chart reworks itself to the new plan "That's right! Good on you Anon, I knew you could figure it out!"

Ha, that was actually a pretty good plan… but.. "You realize the reason why this will probably work is because it reeks of deception… right?"

Discord rubs his chin as if he didn't actually know that "It does? Well now, that doesn't sound like doing it how the Princess of Friendship herself would do it now does it? Perhaps we should figure out another way to do this."

"Oh come on, that's not what I meant. I'm just saying that the reason your plan is so good is because it's your specialty. And it's actually not even that bad. I'm not Twilight, I'm not going to tell you it's wrong. I say we do it… but you're kind of have to use a different name if we're gonna do this. Discord might be a tad too obvious."

Discord smiled at your approval and then begins to think of a name, one he thinks up quite quickly "Why think of one when I can just take one from another dimensional version of me?"

"What? What do you mean by that?"

"I mean this!" Discord hops backwards as a flash of light fills the room, He is now in a red hat with a white feather. With a Red cape and coat. A golden "Q" hangs off the his white undershirt.

"Call me… Magnificent Q"

Right… Star Trek… Makes sense now.

You have to smirk at him though, that's very narcissistic regardless. "I think I need a knife, the smug is so thick that I can't see my hoof in front of my own face"

Discord gives you a dismissive expression before making the chart disappear "I didn't see you coming up with any names Anon, besides, in this form. She'll never figure it out. Now then..." Discord points his hoof at you, causing you to have a similar suit to his, but without the hat, and a silver A on your undershirt. "Hmmm, not bad not bad… Now then, I'll just have to find a spot in this city to set up shop. As for you Anon, my assistant. I expect you to use that silver tongue of yours to convince our "Boss" to join in on our plan."

"What? You're not going to help me with this?"

"Anon, you start school tomorrow. We only have one day to accomplish this. I need time to set up the actual trap… er, scene for Miss Suri's redemption… hmm, that seems to be a big thing these days, redemptions… Anyway, I'll have Suri in the studio very soon. You just need to convince Coco to be our owners. It shouldn't be too hard, ponies like her are quite gullible."

No argument there. Gullibility is pretty rampant in Equestria. And Coco was a nice pony. Still... You were just a colt. You were going to have to have some sort of proof that you worked for a business.

"In that case, give me a business card"

Discord complies, and he poofs up a card for you. "Insurance?"

You nod. "Insurance… just in case she doesn't believe me."

Discord opens two portals, one that opened up to a seemingly random spot. and another that went to well… a much nicer apartment, Coco's. "Now then, let's try to get this all done in a timely manner hmmm? I don't want to spend all day trying to solve a singular friendship problem" Discord said, as he pulled out a business envelope and plopped it on Suri's bed as the folder he generated poofs away with it's contents.

"Got it...." You put your hoof out in front of Discord. Discord just looks at it… confused.

"Yes… that is indeed your hoof… Anon?"

Oh come on… "No, put your hoof on mine"

Discord narrowed his right eye at you, feeling a little weirded out "Anon, I know I'm magnificent in any form, but this is a little too much don't you think? I like being single"

WHAT?! "Dammit! I am just trying to do one of those "Let's do it!" things that teams and partners do! I don't want to fuck you or anything!"

"Really?" Discord pulls up a mirror and looks at himself "I'd hate to use a derogatory term… but I'd "Fuck" me… and I do indeed have ways of doing that"

Ewww… gross… You grimace at Discord's words. "I… I didn't need to know that..."

You slowly put your hoof down as you walk towards your portal. "Ok, umm, so, getting past that. How do I find you after I talk with Coco?"

"Just follow the card Anon, it's that simple"

"Oh, It opens a portal?"

Discord looks unamusingly at you as he points to the words on the card. "No Anon… It has an address. If you can't find it, Coco certainly can. Really? using a portal, how ridiculous. We have to bring her to the studio like any other pony would get there, either by carriage or by walking."

Well shit. You became so used to Discord solving most of your problems with magic that you just sort of became used to it. "Ok ok… sheesh. You don't gotta be rude about it."

Discord smiles at you "It's good isn't it? It's just like any other fashion snob… I'm just trying to fit the part Anon, I'm not actually annoyed or anything."

Yeah. "Just don't overdo it. We don't want to scare Suri away."

"Oh trust me Anon, these fashionista ponies crave a little abuse, it drives them to try harder. She'll be so distracted that she'll never actually have a chance to leave."

You didn't know if that was true. You never dealt with fashion, and you doubted he did either. But… he was "The Magnificent Q". You just had to trust him. "Whatever you say Q, good luck. I'll seeya soon."

You walk into the portal.

Chapter 60

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You look around. The place was very… purple. The couches and seats looked soft and there was a few bookcases, and tapestries and supplies strewn about. Damn, Coco must get overworked...


You put your hoof to your face. "Dammit Discord… Outside the room… Not inside..."

You immediately hide and look about. No sign of Coco… Well of course there wouldn't. She's probably busy. You take a dare to look around the apartment. man, even the floor carpet was soft. You can see a candle light coming from the crack of a door leading to another room.

Curious, you head over to the door and notice it is slightly ajar, you peek through the crack and… Ha… There she is. Seems she's getting ready to put some fabric together.

You take a look around the room and try to find the exit. You easily find it and head over to it. Locked...

You unlock it, knock on the door, open the door and shut it. Creating the illusion that you "Let yourself in"

"Hello? Anypony home?" You almost let out a laugh, you felt like a cartoon character doing that.

The door leading to the room Coco was in opens slowly as she peeks out. "Hello?"


"Oh hello. You must be Miss Coco Pommel, a pleasure to meet your acquaintance" You give a polite bow… Nailed it

"I am… How did you get in?" She looked nervously adorable about your presence

"Well uhh, you see, the door was unlocked so I let myself in"

Coco get's curious just from that and pops out of the room and investigates her locks, they seemed fine, she thought to herself on how she could ever forget to lock it. "Oh, well....hmmm"

She seemed perplexed on how that could happen. but she didn't want to be rude and focus on it. "Hello." Coco turns to you and smiles "What can I do for you today?"

Huh… Just like that, huh? She didn't seemed worried anymore, must be your adorably good looks. Great! Makes things easier. "I'm here on official business from my employer, "The Magnificent Q", I'm sure you've heard of him?"

That seemed to have caught Coco off guard. She wasn't expecting a colt to just come in and throw business at her. She looks left and right, seeing if there was anyone else around who could have gotten in. She felt like something was off. "Ummm… no, but, aren't you a little young for this sort of thing?" Maybe it was a joke someone was playing on her? She couldn't be sure. "I don't want to be rude… but I'm very very busy. But if you want, you can take some cookies from my kitchen if you'd like"

Grrmmmm… She wasn't taking you seriously. "Busy? Miss Coco I come to you with a business proposal of a lifetime! If you'd just hear me out. I'm sure you'd at the chance to take it."

She looked at your attire. it was pretty swanky and nice. She's never seen a colt gussied up like that for no reason. Not wanting to take the chance that this was in fact a real thing. She decides to at least listen to you before sending you off. "Alright, would you like a seat? Mr..."

"You may call me Anon, and thank you miss Coco, I'd love a seat." You hop on the couch and… ohhh goooddddddd… It's sooo soft… Must... Resist… Urge… To… Roll… On it...

You take a moment to compose yourself, but Coco notices the odd expression on your face as you sit on the sofa. "Is something wrong?"

You cough nervously. "What?..o-oh no. Just have some achy joints from walking all the way over here"

"Oh, well, I have some cream rub if you'd like some. I use it on my hooves on my busier days."

Damn, she's so nice. And cuuuuute. The fact she's even taking the time to hear you out puts her above most ponies in her industry… You think… You wouldn't actually know.

"No it's alright. Ahrm… anyway. My boss has a business proposition for you that I'm sure you wouldn't pass up."

"I am intrigued. I've never had a colt come make me any offers before. Especially one who speaks as well as you do."

"Well, when you’re in the fashion business like me and my employer, having proper etiquette in all fields of the fashion world is of utmost importance"

Coco giggled… Why is she giggling? "Is something funny, Miss Coco?"

Coco realized how rude that must have sounded. She meant no disrespect to you. She just thought it was cute and funny that a little colt was sounding this serious. You fit the part for everything but your age. Her smile immediately turned to frown as she looked down, feeling shameful at her lack of professionalism. "I-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me..."

D'awww, she's cute… but… you had a mission to complete. You gave her a snooty look, hrnn… maybe Discord had a point on this whole "act a little like a snooty jackass" thing. "Right… in anycase, my employer has been wowing ponies across the north. Mostly in Yakyakistan and the Crystal Empire. Well beloved there, don't even question it, he does not like to be questioned. With our success we have come down to Manehatten to set up shop. But, my employer is very conscious of the competition and does not approve of having to fight for top spot. Therefore my employer is looking for, well… an employer of sorts. We are willing to split profits 80/20 in your favor. All we ask is that you take us on as your faithful workers. You needn't even take your time up with us as we do all the work… All we ask is you come see our fashion studio… and that you immediately accept our offer."

Coco was impressed. you handled it like a true professional. She found it adorable. But… this did actually sound serious. And so out of the blue.. "That's a very generous offer. But, do I have to decide right now? I haven't even met your employer."

You nod, you needed her to say yes so Suri would realize she was working for her. "He's a very busy stallion, that's why I always do the more menial work for him."

Coco found that odd… and even abusive. Sending a single colt out into the city to do these kinds of jobs, she felt a little deja vu. "Anon… do you always do these kinds of things for your employer? Doesn't he have any adults to go out and do these things for him"

Oh… what is this? "Well, yes. "The Magnificent Q" is my employer after all, and I do whatever he asks me to."

Coco frowned at that… She was hoping he wasn't taking advantage of you. "Anon, colts or fillies as young as you shouldn't be travelling around this city by themselves. It's very dangerous. Don't you know that?"

Come on, dammit. Is she concerned about you? Fuck… being a kid sucks sometimes. You just needed a yes out of her… dammit. "I do, but I am a professional. So you needn't worry."

But she did worry. Enough to want to meet this "Magnificent Q". In fact, if she would be the boss over him. Then she could make immediate changes if she didn't like what she saw. She felt that you were probably being taken advantage of. "I accept your offer"

That was easy… You bow your head. "Thank you, Miss Coco. You won't regret it… Oh and, here's our business card… We can leave immediately"

You had to hope the trip would be a long one. Discord not only had to get Suri in the studio, but get her hired for the reveal to work. You felt things were being rushed… Felt like a season 3 episode.

"Actually… I have to finish work on a client's dress. It'll take a while, I hope you don't mind. If you'd like, you can stay and wait. You can help yourself to anything in my kitchen. Even the cookies" She gives you a smile, she did have work to do. And she wanted to meet her new employee if only to figure out what he's up to and fix it. But she had obligations before you. She also didn't want you just walking back out into the streets of the city. She didn't know how it was in the Crystal Empire, and she only knew so much about Yaktakistan. She only knew they were waayyy up north. But she knew the city, and some ponies weren't the nicest.

FUCK… Wait… Maybe that's not a bad thing. Certainly gives Discord the time he needs to get things set up… hopefully. And it's not like you knew how to get there. You had no way of navigating the city. And due to not having your saddle bag. You couldn't pay for a cab either. Plus… cookies were nice.

But… remain professional. You didn't want to give the impression anything was wrong. "I have no reason to say no. And I wouldn't want to tear you away from your work. Yes… I think I'll accept your offer. My employer needed time to prepare for your arrival anyway."

Chapter 61

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Discord walks through the portal. it's an old decrepit building on the other side of the city. The walls are falling apart, there's holes everywhere, it smelled...

"This could be my summer home! Ahh, no. Anon is expecting me to actually follow through with this. Sad, it's rare to find a building in this much disrepair."

Discord slammed his hoof into the ground. Causing everything inside to shift, shine, glimmer, and rearrange into a lit white room with ceiling lights everywhere. "Hmm… This will do. Now then, I'm going to have to add in some furniture, plants, maybe a desk… a runway… hrn."

As Discord starts naming things off, the room starts to fill with clean and stylish versions of the items he mentions. A counter that curved like a hat. Exotic plants, fine wooden floors, cashmere seats.

Discord gave everything a hard stare. "Hnnn… Now for some clothes. Now… what would be in these days? It's been so long since I cared about fashion… Oh wait… I never actually cared. I've always just had a good sense of it." Discord started to pace. "Of course now I need to have some fashionable clothes that ponies like, I mean. I know I have good taste, but they want variety. And I need to make this place believable. What to do Discord… what to do..."

Then it hit him like a sack of bricks, and he smacks his head. "Oh wait, I don't have to actually design any clothes." Discord points around the studio as various clothes appear on racks and hangers. "I'm sure the owners of these… gaudy things… won't mind if I borrow them. It is for the sake of friendship after all."

Discord takes another look around his studio. then looks up. "One more thing" He quickly nods his head as a giant golden Q appears on the ceiling. Flashing between gold and platinum. "Perfect..."

He looks over to the front doors. "I wonder how long it'll take them to get here? Hmmm… This place is far enough, and I'm sure Anon might run into a few problems along the way… even if I have to create them."

Discord chuckled to himself, then sighed. "Sure is lonely here, by my lonesome, I can't even occupy my mind with a hobby… Where is that Suri? You'd think she'd be here by now with the offer I left on her bed… Who am I even talking to?"

Discord started to pace impatiently. "And then there is Anon himself, an interesting fellow to say the least. Maybe I should have sent him back, maybe my whole plan was too much for me to handle… and then I remember that I'm much too great for failure of this caliber. And besides, seeing Fluttershy happy… Hrn… talking to myself again."

At that moment, Discord hears the door open. and hard panting coming towards him… Suri? "Showtime"

Discord straightened his hat and put on a grin. Suri appeared from the front doors. She looked panicked, trying to fluff and pretty up her mane with her hooves. "Darn it, Darn it! Come on..."

"Miss Suri Polomare, I presume?"

Suri put her attention to Discord, not realizing he'd just be standing there waiting for her. She stood straight, put on a smile, and walked towards him.

"Yes, that's me." She gives a small nervous giggle, but stayed focus on the prize "And you must be "The Magnificent Q", a pleasure to meet you, and thank you for recognizing talent, you won't be disappointed,mkay… I'm really good at what I do."

Discord just stared, as his nostrils got assaulted by a rather gunky smell...though..he found it quite nice. "I'm sure… Hrn, what is that wonderful perfume you're wearing?"

"Perfume?" Suri took a whiff of herself… oh geez, she was in such a hurry she didn't realize she stunk to hell and back "You're serious?"

Discord nodded. "Why of course, you've really gone all out for this job interview. I'm impressed"

Suri didn't know what Discord was talking about… but… whatever, she would roll with it. "It's a very rare perfume, you'll never find anything else quite like it, I mean, I just had to put it on for the special occasion of meeting you, mkay."

"I see, well, flattery will only get you so far my dear. I'm sure you brought me some clothes for me to see and review, right?"

"Well..." Suri bit her bottom lip, she hadn't brought any to show him. She actually missed that part of the letter in her haste. "But… it's not like you need to see my work, I'm sure you've seen all my past work. You don't need to see any of my new pieces, it would just uhhh… ruin their splendor for when we reveal them to the public." Suri put on a smile, feeling jittery of her own fuck up.

Discord started to walk around her, giving her cold hard stares. "I see, miss Suri, here in MY studio. I expect the utmost professionalism from my employees. I do have hundreds of others who would love this position."

Suri looked behind herself… what others? "Uhhh… well… umm… you're just going to have to take my word for it, mkay?"

Discord nodded and put his hat on her head. "Good enough for me, you're hired!"

Suri was taken aback, she almost fell over both in overwhelming happiness and the most puzzled of confusion "W-what? Really? You'll take me on as your employee?"

Discord nodded. "But of course, you meet all my requirements. You have a good sense of fashion, and an excellent taste in perfume. You can get started today!"

Suri couldn't believe it, she had never even heard of "The Magnificent Q". But just looking at his studio, and "his" designs. He must have been big… and to just take her on like that?

"You're not going to regret this, trust me. This is my calling after all, but, am I like… gonna have coworkers or something? And, what exactly am I going to do, the letter never said. Because I'm just saying, I'd be really good as your top designer, mkay"

Discord walked away from her, giving her a dismissive look as he sifted through the "borrowed" clothes. "We'll have to see what happens Miss Polomare, you see. Since I have no idea how this town works. I had to find myself an employer and sponsor of my own to help with my advertisement, due to the competition I'll be dealing with… So technically, she'll be your boss, and will decide what's best."

"She?" Suri was confused "Wait, so you’re not my boss?"

Discord shook his head. "Nope, I'm just doing the hiring.Trying to find a certain mare who can really make things shine for my sponsor. And you're it. Isn't that just lucky?"

"Lucky?" Suri was so confused. But, she was content. A job was a job. And she got the job she wanted. She even got a little cocky "Luck has nothing to do with it, mkay. I'm just that good. So, who am I actually working for anyway?"

"In due time my dear, she'll be here soon. My assistant went to fetch her."

"Assistant? You have an assistant?"

Discord nods "Indeed I do, he's very reliable. Why? Do you have an assistant?"

"....." Suri didn't say anything, she didn't actually want to talk about that. What was essentially her downfall. She silently walked over to the clothes and started looking at them "Forget about that, it's not important. Let's talk about all this fashion you have here, it's amazing, and so varied, I've never seen anypony capable of so many styles. What's your secret?"

Discord shrugged. "You can say that I take my inspiration from here and there."

"No wonder they call you "Magnificent Q". Maybe I can convince my new boss to let me work with you, we'd make a good team, mkay" She let out a small joyful titter

"Oh, I'm sure when you meet her that you'll be beside yourself. And since you start today, she'll be absolutely delighted to know you're willing to work hard."

Suri knew she had to work hard, it was her only option. Being so poor, her life ruined, all because she used Coco to such an abusive point. She didn't realize how hard it could crash down on her until it actually happened. She was going to have to figure out how she was going to pull this off. Coco always did the actual labor. Now she had to do it all herself. "Sure, and I'm sure whoever she is that we'll be the best of friends. It'll be like we're sisters."

Discord gave her a near creepy reassuring smile. "Oh, I'm sure the feelings you have for her will be familiar. Now just sit tight my dear, she should be here soon to meet you."

Chapter 62

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It had been some time now.

At this point, you sat on a taxi carriage, heading towards the studio that you hoped was ready. And that Suri was there. You looked over to Coco, who was examining the card thoroughly. "Something the matter, boss?"

Coco tore her attention away and looked at you and smiled, giving you a pat. "You don't need to call me "Boss"."

Ohhhh… Soft hooves… oohhhhh… "U-um, well. You did agree to all of this."

"I did, but it all needs to be on paperwork for it to be official. I don't want anypony to get in trouble due to not having any documentation. You understand, don't you?"

Dammit come on… "Well… I mean, I guess, but "The Magnificent Q" is a little eccentric when it comes to things like that. I guess he can draw up some papers. But, remember. You did agree."

Coco didn't know how to answer that,and she didn't want to upset you. "I Know… I… I just want to talk to him first. In case any changes need to be made, it's to make sure ponies like you are getting a fair deal. I just want to make sure everything is ok."

That's fine. Slight alterations just need to be made. All you know is, once she sees Suri. She'll most likely take her as an employee. And you can Discord can go home with a fixed friendship problem under your belt.

You nod to her. "I understand, but I promise you. Everything is alright. We are all professionals after all… So uhmm, what's with you and the card?"

"Oh… It's just the address, I could have sworn the buildings near there were all closed down."

"Well you know, he's eccentric. He's the kind of guy that likes a little chaos in his life. But, hey. despite the location we already have our first employee… Your first employee anyway."

Coco started to think, this deal was strange to her, and very hard to pass up. It was risk free and the extra money could help in her endeavors. She could even make big donations to help restore places like theaters and community parks that have since been closed down. But the fact that you, a colt, was sent to make the deal. And that she's never heard of "The Magnificent Q" made things worrisome. But, if he already had a first employee… then maybe he is something? Even if he wasn't, She was willing to give him a chance.

You had no idea if you were actually there or not, but you could tell you were entering the more slummy side of town. "Does he pay you?"

You didn't quite catch that,you were busy staring at the buildings. "What?"

"Does he pay you? Does he take care of you when you are away from your parents?"

You didn't know if telling her he was your dad would be relevant or not. She seemed really stuck on this. And sadly, you lacked your saddlebag to show her that you had quite a haul of bits, even after buying those gems. You decided to play it cool.

"He pays me, very very generously. I never get a chance to spend all the money, and I just end up with more. I can't even carry it around anymore. And yeah, he takes care of me fine. I mean, look" You point to your red suit and snazzy silver "A". "He has a matching suit that has a "Q" on it. Were that close, And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Coco nodded, and smiled. That did sound very good, and it seemed this "Magnificent Q" treated you, his assistant, with utmost respect. "I'm very glad to hear that. I am actually getting excited to meet him now."

Coco smile then slowly wavers to that of a frown "I've met so many other fashionistas… and they are usually not very nice. And they always think I'm out to ruin them, I'm sorry if I made you feel insulted by being a little skeptical. I guess I shouldn't think negatively of somepony I haven't met yet."

You had no ill will about this. It was all a ruse anyway and being skeptical about Discord in any form is to be expected. "Don't sweat it, you're too much of a nice pony to put yourself down like that"

Coco giggled at your endearing words and gave you another pat "Thank you, you're the nicest assistant I've ever met in this business"


After a bit more time, you both are dropped off in front of a building with a giant Q and A on it. in fact, it had a tagline "QnA, Answering the question of fashion everyday, all day."

QnA. Hahaha… That's good… And… He even included you in it… That was nice of him… Even if it was a ruse. The building itself was nice. neon lights up the wazoo, clean red walls, glass doors. It especially looked nicer than all the broken down buildings around it.

Coco was impressed. "Wow… I certainly wasn't expecting this"

"Me neither..."

"What?" Coco looked at you confused

"A-ahh… I mean… give me a moment. I need to see what "The Magnificent Q" is up to. Please don't come inside until we call you in. It's not to be rude. It's just a rule we have… sorry"

Coco shook her head at you with a reassuring grin "Don't be, I'll just wait out here until I'm called. You go do what you need to do" Fucking thank christ she was so understanding.

You walked into the building. Woah. Lights were blaring. And… Suri was walking onto the stage in a dress, while Discord sat on a chair staring. Wearing sunglasses… the fuck?

You walk up to the side of him, and whisper to him. "What's going on here chief?"

Discord looks at you, then takes off his sunglasses… Holy shit, he looked like wreck, his eyes were bloodshot.

"W-what happened to you!?" He looked like hell! It was astonishing to you.

Discord points his hoof "This… I didn't realize doing a fashion show for so long would be the epitome of boooooring. What kept you?"

What kept you? You thought you made some damned good time. "What?! It didn't take that long for me to convince her, the trip just took forever because you’re in bumfuck nowhere land."

Suri stopped, looking down the the both of you, feeling a little peeved. "Hey you, can't you see I'm trying out different clothes for "The Magnificent Q"?, you can just go wait over there until I'm done, mkay?"

Ohhh… she's being a bitch and not even hiding it…

Discord however, looked at her, with a near death glare. "Suri, this colt doesn't take orders from you. He takes them from me, he is your superior and my assistant. Understand?"

Suri got immediately scared and worried form those words. She didn't want to lose her job. "S-sorry Mr.Q… it… it won't happen again… Is there… anything else you need me to do?"

"Leave us, I need to discuss further business with my assistant" Discord waved his hoof at her

Suri nods and bows "Y-essir..." And leaves, going behind the runway curtain.

Did...did he just talk down to her in your defense? "...Discord....did you just do that?"

Discord took out his eyes now that the coast was clear and began to clean them. "Do what?"

"You defended me, like, you just snapped at her and said I was her superior."

Discord popped one of his eyes in to more thoroughly clean the other one, to inspect for spots. "Well, that's the truth isn't it? At least for our little ruse. And besides… if she goes "mkay" one more time I think I'm going to burst. She's LEAGUES below you, certainly not worthy of my respect."

You… didn't know how to respond to that. So he respected you? Or just respected you over her? Still, it was nice of him to do. And the fact he did it so suddenly, made you feel towards the former.

"Coco is waiting outside by the do we play this?"

Discord pops both his eyes in. "However you wish, it is your plan after all."


"Ok… you tell Suri our new boss is here. I'll bring Coco in. If I'm right. They'll see each other, Suri will realize she works for Coco. Coco will be happy. We'll probably hear why she cares about Suri… yadda yadda. Redemption bla bla. The good thing here is that we fixed someone's life and that we solved a friendship problem."

"I'm just glad the whole thing is over, this was far too much trouble than it is worth… But… the fact we actually accomplished this DOES mean we are just as capable as Twilight in the whole friendship business… Princess of Friendship indeed..."

Discord… always looking at the brighter side of things. "Ok, I'll go fetch her now. Can't wait to see this all come together."

You walk off to the front. She was still there, waiting patiently. She gives you a smile the moment she sees you. "Hello Anon, is everything ready?"

You nod. "Yes ma'am, please come in and have a look. Meet our employee… your employee… before talking with "The Magnificent Q".

Coco nodded as she walked in "I don't mind that, if I do end up being your boss. I want to get...."

She spots her..."Suri?!"

Suri was next to Discord, and the moment she heard that voice. She turned… surprised to the nth degree "Coco?!"

Ahhh shit nigga… It's happening.

You walk over to Discord as the two mares walk over to each other. This was going to be a heartwarming fest.

Coco slowly stepped over to Suri, she was worried. Why was she there? "Suri… is that really you? I didn't know you got a job here.."

Suri looked down, and then side to side. She seemed reluctant "Yeah, you know. I still am capable of looking out for myself. I didn't need you to survive."

"I-I know. It's just… I didn't expect to see you here. I didn't know you'd be one of my new employees." Coco said, she was starting to feel a sense of hope and happiness build up in her.

Suri however, seemed a little stunned "Your new employee? Wait, you're the one we're gonna be working for?"

Coco nods "Yes… and I'm glad for that. When I found out what happened to you. I got worried. I didn't know what I had done would have such an impact. I only wanted to make things straight… even if I didn't want to be your assistant anymore. I didn't want you to just be out on the streets."

Discord started to eat some popcorn that he poofed up. reaching his hoof in to drag some into his mouth.

"Can I get one of those?" you ask

Discord doesn't even make a motion. a bag of popcorn just appears in your hooves. "Thanks"

Suri eyed Coco, her expression, she seemed unsure of herself. "Well, I haven't been. I've been working odd jobs here and there until I could get up on my own four hooves. And then I found this place. So I've been doing pretty good for myself."

Coco nods "I can see" then she smiles "Well, I'll be happy to have you. But… we would have to talk about… what happened before. I can't approve of dishonesty… I'm sure we can-"

Suri stopped her,and gave her an angry look "Dishonesty? Excuse me? Who do you think you are that you can tell that to me? When I found you, you were nothing. I made you my personal assistant. Did I work you hard? Maybe… but you ate everyday didn't you? You had a home right?"

Uhhhhhh. "....oh no..."

Discord leaned up, getting a little excited "Finally, things are getting interesting"

Coco's ears drooped as she took a step back "Y-yes… but… Suri, everything we did..."

Suri stepped up to her, getting angry "..Everything we did was because it was everypony for themselves. You saw those other fashionistas. It's a pony eat pony world and we were going to the top. We Coco, you and me. Then you betrayed me, and left me to rot. Mkay?!"

Coco started shaking "B-but… I, I tried… I sent you a letter and-"

"Oh, I got the letter. I'm just wondering why it took you so long. Oh, right. You were waiting until you were on top before you called me over to take your table scraps!"

Discord was beside himself "Anon, are you seeing this?! I didn't even see this coming! Talk about an amazing twist."

You were silent… This… This wasn't happening… This would never happen in any of the greentexts you've read. Sex wouldn't either… but… usually everything turns out ok… for sex… but still.

Coco backed up against the wall, scared "No! No, I didn't… I just wanted you to be ok. I didn't even know what happened to you..."

Suri walked up to her, and clapped her hooves, looking highly angry "Good job Coco, you followed my number one rule "Everypony for themselves". I bring you in, and on MY high note. You crush me under your hooves and now, now look at you. You're successful, you have money, jobs and clients. And look at me… I'm nothing now… because of you!"

Coco tried to get one more word in. But Suri pointed her hoof at her "I don't even want to hear it. I'm so out of here, I so totally don't need this job."

And with that… Suri walked out. Leaving you and Coco in shock. Discord found this all entertaining.

"What… just happened?" You were struck with utter dread

Discord looked at you then at Coco, then back at you. Then popped some of your own popcorn into his mouth "Isn't it obvious? Everything backfired because we made the wrong assumption on one matter. She didn't answer the letter because she was ashamed, she didn't answer it because she never got over what happened. And now we just made it worse. Amazing, we may not be as good as Twilight. But the surprise ending sure threw me for a loop."

Coco started to sob and cry. Feeling miserable and guilty about what she was told.

"Holy shit… What have we done?" This wasn't happening!

"I just told you Anon… Hrnnn." Discord started to notice your expression "Anon… you don't seem as amazed as I am about this. What's the matter?"

"How can you ask that? Look at her… we fucked up Discord… We fucked up… really bad..."

Discord gave you a chummy bump on your leg "But look on the bright side. We still are buddies. Isn't that what counts?"

No… No, goddammit!

"We have to fix this Discord… We can't just let this happen."

Discord shrugged, he saw no way to fixing it "What's done is done Anon. What are we going to do? Convince Suri to suddenly change her mind? MAKE her be Coco's employee? What could we possibly tell her to make her change her mind?"

You thought hard… You thought as hard as you have ever done before… And yet... "I… I don't know. I thought that even...with the way she was living. That'd she still at least take the job and it'd work out from there… I..."

Discord put his hoof on your side, and looked at you. His expression..he actually looked worried. "Anon, we failed. There's nothing more we can do here. If I knew this was going to happen, I promise, I would have told you. But I didn't. We need to cut our losses and return home. We can pretend this never happened. It's not like we'll ever come back here. And we didn't ruin their lives. Coco still has her job, And Suri still has....something..."

You look over to Coco… Shit… "What about her? We lied to her. Now we have nothing, and she's going to know that we lied. She's going to hate us."

"Does that matter to you?" Discord asked.

"It shouldn't...but...she was so nice and understanding..."

Discord nodded, and straightened his hat "Step aside Anon… I can at least do this much."

"W-what are you going to do?...please don't do an-"

Discord put his hoof to your mouth and shushed you "Just trust me Anon, we'll call this a special favor… And I'll collect when I feel like it."

Mnnn… You don't know, but, no. If it'll help. "Just don't do anything that'd hurt her.."

Discord bowed "Oh trust me, it will be a simple enough performance" Discord walked over to the crying sobbing mare. "Miss Pommel?"

She didn't answer, she was just sobbing. Discord produced a handkerchief "Ms.Pommel… may I please speak with you?"

Coco then noticed Discord's voice, and looked up at him. She realized she was here on business. And what happened? She had conducted herself most unprofessionally. it only made her sob more as she tried to stand and quiet her crying "I-I'm s-sorry… I..."

Discord wiped her tears and passed her the handkerchief "No apologies needed my dear. I had heard everything, and I was appalled about what I heard."

"B-but… B-but, she's right… I..."

Discord shook his head "All you did was follow your dream, and from the looks and sounds of it. Just because she made some of your life better, doesn't mean she has the right to abuse and hurt you like that. She should have respected you like a friend. If she had done so, none of this would be happening to her now. It's her fault. Because if you hadn't done what you done. She would have ruined the life of another pony. You did everything right. And you even tried to make amends. If she couldn't accept that… well, then that’s how things are. Besides, she may come around eventually. And if you're willing still, you'll be there to take her in and show her the right way."

Coco's sobbing slowly stopped Those words.... "S-so...she might still be willing to change?.."

Discord nodded "Everything takes time my dear, everything takes time."

Coco hugged Discord, crying "T-thank you… Thank you Mr.Q… I won't give up hope. I know she'll come around. Oh.." Coco backed off, and wiped her tears away, smiling at Discord "And, I'd be happy to accept you as an employee as well… Though we could do a partnership if you want. It doesn't matter to me."

Discord cringed… Noooooooooope "O-oh..well. I'd love to, but me and Anon must be heading back up north. Seems there's an emergency… All of a sudden."

Coco nodded, she didn't want to take up his time "I understand… But, if you ever come down to Manehatten. The offer is always open."

Discord nods slowly "I'll… remember that… come along Anon, we are taking the show on the road."

He did it… You were stunned… The fucker actually did it. He didn't fix the friendship problem, but… he… You just stood there..

"Anon, time’s a wastin'" Discord chuckled nervously.

You shake your head to get out of your stunned trance. "Oh..uh...umm..Can I say goodbye to Coco first?"

Discord took a deep breath, annoyed , then released "Yes… mnn, I'll be waiting outside."

Discord walked out, He didn't want to be there anymore. In truth, the words he said to her bothered him. They were more meaningful than he realized.

You walk up to Coco, and give her a hug. You wished you could do more. To make up for your failure. But… Discord had already done enough for the situation. "Thank you for your time Miss Coco… and, it was really nice meeting you. You're a really nice pony… I'm sorry about what happened"

Coco smiled at you, a tear coming off her cheek. She gave you a hug back. "It's alright… Mr.Q's words, well, "The Magnificent Q"'s words. They inspired me… I know everything will be ok. And I'm glad you have such a good and understanding employer. I bet your parents must be proud that you work for such a nice pony."

Yeahhhh. You smile at her, the ruse was over. So whatever. "He's my dad actually."

Coco was surprised, but… it explained a lot… to her at least. "Well, then it's no wonder you're so well mannered. You and your father are both amazing ponies.I hope you become as successful as him one day. If you ever set out on your own and need a job. I'll always be open for you."

You felt a little bad that it was all a big lie… but she was happy. So you just nod. "Thank you… umm… will you be alright?"

Coco nodded "I will be now. Oh," Coco put a hoof to her mouth in small surprise "Your father looked like he was in a hurry. You better go see him… Don't worry, I'll be ok."

You nod. Yeah, she'd be just fine. You both hug each other again, and you wave to her as you walk out. And as you walk out. You plop… right onto your bed.

Chapter 63

View Online

You lift your upper body up from your plop and shake your head. It was all over. But it was unbelievable the way it ended. Discord had managed to turn over the failure in a way you didn't think he knew how to.

You were too curious. You slip off your bed and open your floor door, and head downstairs. It's been awhile, but the living room was finally back to normal. You spotted Discord, who was brooming the floor, as dust just spread from the broom itself as if it was being generated by it… best not to question why.

Before you can say a word. Discord looks up at you. He was back to his original form. He plants his arms on the top of the broom and rests his head on it as he looks upon you. "You know I put you on your bed to get a little nap before dinner. It's been an exhausting day."

Exhausting? Yeah, it has been. You did feel tired. But it was negated by your curiosity. "I haven't needed a nap since I was a little kid."

"Says the little kid" Discord snickered.

You shrug his comment off with a smirk. "Whatever, You're just jealous that you're not young like me"

Discord continued to smirk back at you. Battle of the smug."Rather old and wise, than a face full of pies."

Face full of… Oh shit! You immediately weave to the left as a flurry of pies nearly graze your head.

You point your hoof and laugh at Discord "Ha! Finally! Take that Discord! Ain't gonna get hit this time!"

Discord snickered "Is that a fact?"

You nod, grinning arrogantly at him. "You bet, no matter what direction you throw them at. I'll be ready!"

Discord nodded, murmuring "Hmm, yes, I see. Well, if you can dodge them coming from any direction. How about all directions?"

Ahh shit… Before you could even reply. Pies started floating all around you. forming a sort of sugary, creamy, dome. "Fine fine! you win. Cripes, can't even play fair for once in your life, can you?"

"What fun is there in playing fair, Anon? And this isn't rhetorical. I expect a good answer… or… well.." The pies begin to shake violently.

Shit shit! Goddammit. He was serious?! Ok ok, calm down. This was easy… maybe… nope… ngh. You could only think of one thing… would he go for it? "Uhhh… The fact that gloating is so much sweeter when you decimated your opponent on an even playing field?"

"Hrnnnn..." Discord thought to himself, twirling his beard. You closed your eyes tight and braced yourself for incoming pies.

But… they didn't come. You didn't feel a single one hit you. You slowly open up one eye and look around… no pies. Discord slowly clapped. as the Broom went off on it's own to continue it's… dustifying. "Bravo Anon, I actually never thought of that until now… for that, you avoid a clown's fate."

Thank fucking christ. that actually worked. You take the moment to collect yourself. And then realize… you were still curious. And since Discord asked you a question… You look towards him, wanting your answer.

"Discord… how did you manage to calm Coco down back in Manehatten? How did you come up with all of that?"

Discord's expression became serious for a moment, then back to his jovial self
"Why Anon, isn't it obvious? I simply pulled together a few of the friendship lessons Twilight had used and learned and made my own solution. It's as simple as that."

And so you thought. What lessons exactly. Was there one that had to do with a failed reconciliation? Comforting a friend… sure. But the advice he gave, and the situation. It didn't add up.

"What lessons exactly… did you pull together?"

"Why are you suddenly being so snoopy?" Discord narrowed his eyes at you, now he was back to being serious. His joyful disposition disappearing.

Why is he being so defensive? You didn't mean to offend… but… it just seemed so off. "I'm just curious. Why is it so hard to answer the question? Just give me the episode names and there you go. We can go about our day"

But in truth, Discord didn't take from any episodes. His words, they were from growing feelings he was having. It was a lesson he himself was learning. Not to the extent a pony could learn. But he was learning at his own pace. That you yourself was more than a means to an end at this point. But he wasn't about to let you know that.

"How surprising… are you telling me that you can't even remember the morals of the show that you have to ask me for an answer you should already know? Makes me wonder if you ever took any of those morals to heart. For shame Anon, for shame." Discord put his arms to his side and shook his head at you, going "tsk tsk tsk"

Come on, you could remember them. But you were drawing blanks… "Give me a hint?"

Discord shook his head "Not even one Anon, you're just going to have to refamiliarize yourself with these lessons by actually having to learn them first hand. Of course, let's just hope you don't actually have to relearn ALL of them. That would just be tragic and speak volumes about who you are deep inside, wouldn't it?"

You sighed, annoyed. You weren't going to get your answer. And you weren't some edgelord who needed a fuckton of moral reconditioning that needed that many lessons and morals shoved down your throat. You were a good guy… You thought as much anyway. "Fine, don't tell me. Geez… after all this time. And you still can't tell it to me straight. I don't do this crap to you you know, the least you can do is show me the same courtesy"

Discord zigzagged over to you like a snake, and started rubbing your back before you could react. Uhhhh… this was weird… and yet it felt oddly nice… but… uhh... UHHH… "W-what are you doing?"

"Giving you a relaxing backrub Anon. You're being so uptight over something so simple. And yes, I'm aware you don't do this "crap" to me. But that's because you know that you owe everything to me. It'd be rude to play those kinds of games with me and you know it. But when it comes to me to you. I feel that there are some things better left unsaid. Trust me when I say this Anon. If you can't get me to tell you, then it's probably be best that you drop it. Because I'll only tell you if I want to tell you… or if you actually come up with something amusing enough for me to tell you."

And at that moment, Discord's voice turned female. "Do we have an understanding, Anon?"

Who, what?

You slowly turn backwards… and Discord… he… he transformed into a female form of himself, still giving you a back massage. "D-Discord...w-what are you doing?"

"I already told you" He… she said, making her voice more seductive "I'm just trying to relax you..." She brings her face next to yours as she rubs her paws and talons gently up your back. "Now… how about we drop the subject, and you go up to bed and wait for dinner. We can talk about other things then… alright sweetie?"

You were blushing hard, her rubbing became softer… more relaxing. And yet it was so goddamn awkward. He was messing with you. He was just trying to get you to drop the subject. "D-discord… this… this is really weird… I-I mean, you're still a guy..."

Discord giggled "Oh I know..." She/he...whatever...moved up to your front and started gently scratching under your chin… Oooooggghh… "But you don't actually seem to care… now do you?"

Dammit… you just wanted to know how he managed to do it. Now he was teasing you in the most awkward of ways, You didn't know what to do. "Come on… stop. This is just, really weird."

Discord looked into your eyes, he could see so much confusion. "What's wrong Anon? Can't decide if you want me or not? Do you want a little sugar?"

Your face turned completely red. He wouldn't… he wouldn't… right? RIGHT?! Your mind goes blank. And you slowly nod.

"Ok Anon, close your eyes, and you will get a biiiiig surprise." Big surpr...OH SHIT NO!

You immediately jump backwards and hide behind a table. Looking at the femDiscord in fear.

But when you looked at him, he was just holding a really big pie. Discord, still in female form, looked at you, and then the pie, then back at you, he was confused "When did such a classic joke become "sick"? Children these days, I'll never understand them."

You took huge breaths, and tried to calm yourself. "I-I… t-thought it was something else… I..."

Yeah, just leave it alone. If you were going to get your answer. You would have to come up with a way that he couldn't counter. Because this… THIS… was too much. You didn't care that he… she… was hot. It was still him.

"I… think I'm just going to go up to my room… and… nap.." You shakingly get up and hobble to your room. You couldn't… just couldn't. You really thought he was going to… yuuuucckkkk…

Discord giggled and waved to you "Have a good nap Anon, dinner will be soon. We can have a chat then."

Discord watched as you went up to your room, and chuckled as he transformed back to his original self. "Well that was fun… I wonder what he thought I was going to do? Hrnnnn"

Chapter 64

View Online

You lay on the your bed. Wondering what the hell just happened. You looked to your door. Ugh...
You were never actually good with women. Even in pone world with cute horses. You had your sperg moments. But goddamn, that was too much. You felt so confused. FemDiscord… Eris as some would call it, was pretty damn hot. But it was still Discord, you knew he was messing with you, and even if you could have sex with it. No telling what terrifying kinks he'd/she'd actually have. Best to try to forget.

And so you laid there, and waited for dinner. You got up a few times. once to open the portal door to see the time of day. It was already dark. And then… there was school tomorrow. No telling how that was going to go… You were sure you could handle it. But, so many kids around you? It was a little worrisome. But with DT's redemption… things should be ok. Not like Snips and Snails were a threat if they somehow became bullies.

You closed the door. Stepping out now would be a travesty, given you didn't have your trusty map. Things have gone so different than what you planned. Instead of becoming super good friends with ponk, you became friends with Lyra and Bonbon. Instead of any of the CMC sorta falling for you, Diamond Tiara was the one who did. And any chance of getting the ponut was out of your hooves. And so far, you have met two out of the four princesses. Though the visit with Celestia was brief. You wondered if she had been keeping track of the going ons of you and Discord. In case she herself had jumped the gun.

Then you hear it. "Anon, Dinner's ready!" Thank god… male voice.

You open your door and head down the gravity stairs. Discord sat at a rather small table. With a seat across from him. Two plates sat on the table for the both of you… filled with tacos. And each were filled with something different.

You went and sat at your seat. And stared at the food. Taking care to look at the contents of each. some even had flowers in them. "Tacos huh? Is it Tuesday?"

Discord shook his head "Monday actually, I wanted to get a jump on things."

Ok, well. The ones with flowers irked you a little, but at least they weren't blue. But hey… you were a horse now. Might as well try it. You bite into it… hey, pretty good.

Discord himself wasted no time in digging into his food… You'd never get used to the way he eats though. His tacos were actually inverted. With the filling being the shell and the shell being the filling. So weird. And still, that one question lingered in your mind. Maybe now that was dinner time. He'd be more open to it. You raise your hoof slowly to ask your question. "Discord… I-"

You stop the moment he gazes at you, and bounces his eyebrows up and down and does a smooch… Yeah, nevermind… "ok… um, I mean. You know, so how are we doing the whole school thing… is what I was gonna ask"

Discord pops three tacos into his mouth, and without chewing, it goes right down. Then he wipes his mouth with a tissue and let's it go as it flies away like a bat. "Are you seriously asking that Anon? You've been to school haven't you? You just go and learn things."

"Well yeah, I know that much. But like… is there anything I need to know, since you know… I've never been to a pony school."

"Nothing in particular. Though I wouldn't be throwing around your "Genius" mind around like it was actually something. You'd give everypony the wrong impression."

Right… you did want to be a little of a smart alek before, but now that you've been in this world longer. You didn't really have the heart to put down anyone by acting like a prodigy. "Gotcha… so, what about school supplies?"

"Fluttershy has that covered. She's been oh so excited to see you off on your first day of school. She really enjoys the prospect of being an Aunt. So please Anon. Humor her whims."

You didn't need to be told. You really enjoyed it when you were around Fluttershy, especially when she was happy.

"You don't need to worry about that. I don't think I could live with myself if I actually upset Fluttershy." A little bit of a bold statement. But if she ever cried because of you… it'd break your heart. You could never forget how much she cared for you back at the hospital and her cottage.

"Good, because I don't think you could live with yourself if you did make her cry. In fact, living would be quite difficult." Discord gave you a hard stare…

Yeah, if it was one real trigger Discord had. It was if anything happens to Fluttershy, whatever did it would be fucked. He must have really been blown away when she forgave him after committing high treason.

You nod, you weren't afraid of his threat. You'd never do anything like that. "I know I know… I won't do anything bad. So… Discord. I know we gotta keep this up forever, in a sense. But, there's something I really want to know..."

Discord finishes his food, then eats the plate "And that is?"

"Growing up… I know it's nothing for me to worry about now. But if I'm as natural as you say. I'm gonna grow up right? Into a stallion?"

Discord nods "Yes, and with my food. A very healthy one."

"Right… the thing I'm actually wondering is. Well, I'll have to move out right? Make it on my own? Because, I know ponies usually go off their cutie mark. But… can I even get one? I've never actually asked you that"

Discord leaned back. his expression became soft, almost fatherly so. He seemed to actually care to answering the question. "As I've told you. The magic of that mirror makes you one hundred percent natural with a side of chaos. You are, like everypony else, capable of getting a Cutie Mark. What it is? I haven't a clue. But you'll do fine, it's not too hard living in Equestria. Usually doing your special talent is enough to have a living. Though… I suppose, depending on what your cutie mark actually is. Moving out might not be viable."

So, you can even get a Cutie Mark… but… what does he mean by that last part. "What do you mean not viable?"

Discord shrugged "Even I don't know what I mean by that. But just for a fun example. Let's say you're special talent happens to be living in a basement and watching cartoons on the projector, you'd never be able to make it out there. And I'd be forced to keep you in… Of course… under special conditions."

Your ears droop as your pupils slightly shrink at the sheer terror of that being your special talent. "Y-yeah… fun… But, uhhh… I doubt that would be my cutie mark."

"You mean you hope that isn't your Cutie Mark."

Yeah… "O-ok… moving on." You actually start to eat as you continue your conversation.

"Discord, uhh... I've been wondering. Are you in love with Fluttershy by any chance?"

Discord didn't answer. The moment his brain comprehended the question. He started puking like a cannon. Various crap hitting you, covering you in a viscous gooey substance of nightmarish vomit.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't do that kind of commitment! Why would you even bring that up during dinner conversation. What's wrong with you Anon?!"

You shouldn't even be surprised. You wipe the puke off your face and take a breath. Ughhh… it was so… gooey and sticky "a..ahhnnnn… g-grossss… I'm… sorry I asked..."

Discord raised his paw as all the puke came off of you. So much so any dirt or dust on you flies off too. Forming a giant ball… and leaving you squeaky clean somehow. Discord then moves the ball over to him and devours it. "Ahh… now that was a good dessert… anyway" Discord looks over to you. You were still stunned from the sudden puke assault. "Well you have an answer?"

You say nothing. Even being clean, it all was so… ugh.

"Anon? Hrn..." Discord already begins to lose interest in your answer as he grins, snapping his talons as a gloved hand appears before you.

"Anon… if you don't want me to slap you, Say something."

You were still stunned. You could swear there was some horrific worms and creatures that were in that puke that hit you, crawling on you… in you. It was horrible… and for Discord just to eat it?!

"Ok" The glove slaps you on the face to make you yelp, and snap you out of your trance.

"Aye geez...what was that for?!" You rubbed your face with your hoof as you gave an angry glare at Discord.

"You weren't responding. I had to do something. I hope you aren't upset, because there is a question I want to ask you now Anon."

He had a question for you? You were still a little miffed. But, he's answered your questions so far. "What is it?"

Discord seemed to be hesitant with this one. He started tapping at the table before asking.
"Anon, I don't want you to think too deeply into this. But since we are having dinner and conversation is a must. I want to ask this… Do you consider me a friend?"

What? That… That was a surprising question. "Is that a serious question? Or are you going to spring something else on me?"

Discord sighed, and looked down, then back at you. his expression becoming melancholic "Just curious..."

He was asking this after just puking and slapping you, not to mention the femdiscord stuff… but… the day you had with him. It was the first day you both pretty much hung out as equals. And… it wasn't bad.

And his expression. If it was real, then, as odd as it seemed to you, it meant whatever you said he would take to heart. He wasn't a bad guy… you had no reason to tell him he was. He gave you a new home, you had good friends, and he was cool to hang out with. But, why was he so curious? You had a little trouble putting two and two together.

"Yeah, I do. You're a bit of a jerk Discord. But,you've never made me hate you. And when you aren't pranking me. You're pretty damn cool… Is there any reason you're curious all of a sudden?"

"Oh no real reason. I just wanted somepony else's opinion other than Fluttershy's. She's too nice sometimes, and I knew you'd give me a more unbiased answer. And with that answer, it just tells me just how good of a friend I am." Discord chuckles as he looks at the claws of his talons, blows on them, then rubs his chest "It means the next time Twilight or her friends, sans Fluttershy of course, tells me I'm not a very good friend, I can just bring you up and show them that I am in fact...a very good friend."

Right… of course that'd be his reason. "You're one of a kind Discord."

"Ain't I just?"

"So then… with that, when are we going to go out committing chaos again? Or maybe trying to fix another friendship issue. I know we fucked up… but, if we tried a pony that was easier… I mean, Trixie is still an option… or if we can find her… Starlight Glimmer… I mean, before she shows up on her own."

"If she shows up on her own. The timeline, she is a changin' Anon." Discord says in a cowboy accent.

"What do you mean? I thought it wouldn't change that much"

"And it probably won't. But there's still the possibility. I'm sure there was never a point in the timeline where I pulled a human from his world to Equestria. Nor was there ever a point where I and this human turned pony went and messed with the changelings. Who knows, it could inadvertently change things in ways we wouldn't expect. Or it might not."

Right, that seemed obvious.

Discord continued "As for the answer to your question. I'd love to do it soon. But it will require the right moment and the right target… oh wait, never mind. I thought of one."

That was fast. "Who?"

"Princess Celestia of course… She's a thousand years due for a little actual payback"

Uhhhhhh… "Right… no, come on. Not her, she'll just take it in stride. She doesn't seem to be afraid of your antics now that you're good. How about… I dunno… Cadence? That might be fun… and I'm not really emotionally invested in her"

"Please… You are aware who her husband is right? We do that and the next thing we know, Twilight will be lecturing us to Tarterus and back."

Right, that is true. You and Discord would never get away with that. "Luna? No… no, she's really sensitive these days… as far as the episodes go anyway."

"Oh come on Anon, that actually could be fun....imagine all the nightmares she'd bring us as revenge. It could be amazing!"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. "NOOOO… Nononononoo… no, ain't dealing with none of that nightmare shit… fuck… This is harder than I thought."

"Party pooper.." Discord was a little miffed about you not wanting to try. Damn… you could do Spoiled Rich… but… no, not her. She still had money and power. And no doubt that wouldn't help with your or Discord's reputation.

"I guess we can just sit on it for now and think of something later… I'm getting kind of tired." You yawned

"Ahhh, the hooves of the night clutch onto you hmm? Well then, you should get some rest. You'll have to be awake in the morning."

That sounded like a good idea. "Yeah..." You yawned "I guess I'll get going… Thanks for hanging out with me Discord. It was really fun."

Discord gave you a nod, and then a salute "It was fun, Private, a successful operation indeed. Though we never did get around to a debriefing"

Really? He wanted to go that far with it? Eh, why not. let's indulge. "Alright, let's do that then… General"

Discord nodded to that. But he didn't say anything however.

"Discord?" No, instead, you suddenly feel something on your lower half. You look back… you were in boxer briefs suddenly.

And then they came down, magically.

It was a little amusing..but not enough for you to laugh. Discord seemed to find it hilarious though. It was a little endearing. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH THAT'S RICH!"

You let out a chuckle. He did it in good humor. It wasn't anything that'd make you sour since he did it without anyone else around. Still, it wasn't as funny as he made it sound. Can't win em all Discord. "It was cute. Heh… but I'm going to bed now. Seeya in the morning Discord."

Discord calmed his laughing as you went under your door. "Anon, hold on. There's one last thing."

One last thing? Nnmm, come on, you were tired. "Yeah? What's up?"

"Well, I was thinking. And you've been a real good sport about everything that's happened thus far. I want to reward you with a gift."

A gift? Another one? He's already been pretty generous, all things considered. "What is it?"

Discord snapped his talons as a horn appeared before you… It was. "Hey… that's my Sombra horn."

Discord nodded "Indeed it is… I've made… a small upgrade to it"

W-what? "Upgrade?"

Discord nods "Indeed, I've thought about it. You have proven yourself worthy of the art of chaos… not completely of course, more of an accomplished cadet. So, I grant you a horn that you can actually use… once per day."

Woah what? "Use? Once per day? What do you mean?"

Discord grinned "Give it a try Anon… But be wary, with great power, comes great irresponsibility… So it might be a good idea not to screw up."

Ha… still… You wondered… "Give it a try huh?" You take the floating horn and put it on. Instead of turning you into a mini-sombra. It instead becomes a unicorn horn of matching coat color. "Woah… I'm a unicorn now?!"

"Close… Just… Try it"

"But… I don't have any kind of magic training"

Discord went over and bopped your head "Anon, you insult me. As If I'd give you a gift that you'd need actual practice for. Just use it already!"

Ouch… geez. "Fine fine… yeesh… ok… just try it., uhh… how to try it..." You point the horn at the wall, and try something you always wanted to try. "I hope this works… KAAAA… MEEEEE… HAAA… MEEEE..." As you say it, your horn starts to build up in a blue colored energy. "HAAAAAOOOOOPH!"

You release a giant blue beam into the wall, obliterating it, but the force also send you backwards into the other wall. Ogh… It hurt pretty bad. And your horn fell off after use. "O-ooh… t… that was dum-b…"

Discord looked at the hole in his wall "Hrn… looks nice" Then he looked at you, picked you up, and dusted you off. "Are you alright Anon? You took off like a rocket."


"Well that won't do..." Discord put his paw on your back and pressed hard. You felt and heard a snap… and you felt… fine "Now how do you feel?"

"U-uhhmm, better, what did you do?"

"Simply snapped some of your insides back into place… be careful with your new toy Anon, you don't want to break anything" Discord gently puts you down and gives you a pat on your head.

You still felt a little achy. The excitement you had left you immediately after such a misfire. Yeah, need to think things through better.

You walk over to the horn and try putting it back on… but it won't stick… once a day… got it.
You didn't know if you should accept the gift. Or… at least use it all willy nilly. Like with Bonbon's grappling hook you have yet to use, this was something you'd have to get used to. "Thanks Discord, you didn't have to do this."

"Don't mention it Anon. Just being a good friend and father. Nothing more than that, now you better scurry onto bed. Or you're not going to wake up in the morning."

Right… best to get some sleep. You give a goodnight to Discord. and take your horn with you up to your room. You put the horn away for now. And think to yourself about how the day has gone. All things considered, it was fun. But Discord was definitely acting strange. It was as if he was being a dick to hide something, instead of just being a dick.

You just couldn't figure it out. Probably not worth it. Otherwise, he was nice and fun all day… and even cheered up Coco. Discord is just random it seems. You couldn't figure it out.
Eh, probably not worth thinking about right now anyway. You had school to worry about. So probably best to just get some rest. And that horn. It started to make you feel excited again. If only because the possibilities seemed endless.

And so you cuddle on your bed, into your blanket, and sleep.

Chapter 65

View Online

The morning comes again… A little too soon for you actually.

"WWAAGH!" You scream in terror as your bed tilts and flips upside down. Dropping you to the ground. Making you hit your head. "WAH..WHAT..HUH… w… crap..ngh..Agh! Geez… ugh, what happened? I swear, my head is going to either crack one day or get so used to this shit that it's gonna harden to steel..." You look around, then up. then down. Your bed was hanging on the ceiling. and the door floor was gone. "Gotta be morning… geez… talk about a wake up call."

You stretch, and grab your saddle bag. "Probably going to need this… hrn?" You notice a note hanging on the button buckle. Wasn't much to it, it just told you to put the dial to two. For Fluttershy's cottage. Hrn… If you remembered correctly. Fluttershy probably wanted to see you off… or something. Hrn...

You check the contents of your saddlebag. There was still the bits. The horn… It was in there too. Discord must have put it in. It also held the grappling hook… probably not something you should bring to school. You take it out and put it away.

You put on your saddle bag and stop to think. This was your first day of school for you. You hoped you wouldn't do anything stupid… You walk over to the portal door. and set the dial to two. Opening the way to Fluttershy's cottage.

You step through, ngh… your eyes, they need to adjust to the sun. Morning sunshine… oygh. You walk over to the front door and knock. It didn't take long for the door to open. Fluttershy opened the door slightly to peer through, and when she saw it was you. She gave you a sunny welcoming smile "Anon, good morning… oh..."

She noticed you look a little a mess. Probably from being plopped from bed. "What's wrong?"

Fluttershy walked over to you and started patting down your mane. "Nothing, it just looks like a hurricane blew through your mane. Here, let me get it for you."


Her hooves were soft and gentle. She did the best she could with your mane, but she was no Rarity. It didn't look too bad. Well, she said it didn't look bad. You couldn't exactly see it yourself. "I, guess that will do.." She says as she gave it one last inspection.

She gives your mane a little bit more of a pat down just in case. It still looked slightly messy. But that was the best you were going to get with a pat down.

You looked around, you didn't see Discord…

"So Anon, are you excited for your first day of school?" Fluttershy asked "I hope you aren't nervous about it. If you are, I'm willing to talk about it with you."

Dammittttt..sooo..cute. She was so nice and sweet. "I'm sort of excited Aunt Fluttershy."

"Sort of? Is something the matter?"

Ahh… you didn't mean to answer in that way. You were still waking up. You didn't want to give any answers that'd worry her. "W-well, I mean. All those classmates I'm gonna have… and I..barely know any of them, it's kind of scary"

That seemed like an answer a kid would give, right? Fluttershy smiled at you and gave you a hug "Don't worry Anon, you know you'll have Applebloom and the others there with you. They won't let anything bad happen to you. So no need to be scared , ok?"

You nod, you can work with that. "Ok… I'll do my best Aunt Fluttershy"

Fluttershy gave you a gentle pat "That's all anypony could ever ask for."

Mnnn… you felt a little bad acting instead of being yourself in front of her. You wanted her to know a little more about the real you. Ahh… maybe at some point. You thought, well… how angry could she get if she ever knew the truth? Hmm..

"Where's Dad?"

"Oh, he'll be here soon. He said he had a surprise. I can't wait to see what it is!"

"He didn't tell you?"

Fluttershy shook her head "No, he wanted it to be a surprise for the both of us." Fluttershy hovered up a bit and excitingly clapped her hooves "I can't wait to see what it is, I've never seen Discord so eager to surprise anypony before with a gift! I bet it'll be very nice!"

Heh… you had nothing to worry about. He wouldn't dare do a diabolical surprise to you AND Fluttershy… namely for her. But then… what could it be?

"In the meantime, since he was busy. I made you some breakfast. It's not much, but I hope you'll like it." Fluttershy hovered over to a table. and there sitting was a bowl. In the bowl was crushed apples, oats, plants, hay… all crushed and mixed with some milk. Fluttershy looked over to you, she hoped you'd like it "I put in a spoonful of sugar to make it sweet. I hope you enjoy it Anon."

Even if you don't… you could never do anything to break her heart. Mostly due to the crushing guilt. And Discord possibly crushing you.

You sit down and look at it. Not wanting to be rude. You lift the bowl with your hooves, and slowly dig in. You know you've seen them eat from the bowl like this in the show… right? You couldn't remember.

The food itself. Sadly, was not as good as you would have hoped. It may have been a healthy breakfast. But it didn't have the zazz of Discord's nutritionally warped meals. Still, you put on a smile, and finish it quickly. and wipe your mouth. "Thanks Aunt Fluttershy, this was pretty good"

Fluttershy smiled with glee "I'm so glad you liked it Anon. Not only is it good, but it's good for you and will give you the energy you need to start the day"

You stand, and just give her a hug. You just felt a compulsion. She was so caring. Perhaps this urge was also brought about the way she cuddled to sleep with you. She made you feel like a loved child better than any other pony in Equestria.

"Thanks Aunt Fluttershy, you… you're the best."

Fluttershy wasn't expecting a hug, but she hugs you all the same. Fluttershy was still amazed by your overall attitude and demeanor. Even out of the hospital and back with Discord. You still seemed like a loving and eager child. She couldn't imagine what Discord must be doing, but whatever it was. She was sure he was doing an amazing job. "Ohh Anon, I just want you to be happy and healthy. If Discord is willing to be serious about being a father… then I'm going to be serious about being your aunt. And a aunt does their best for their nephew."

Then it hit her, she forgot something "Oh, Anon, can you wait right here a minute? I have your school supplies in my room. I got you pencils and paper and a ruler, a notebook. And a lunchbox!"

Aww… wait what? You forgot that you needed extra supplies. Huh... You just nod "Ok, I'll wait right here." And so you wait...

You could hear her having some trouble finding them… and then you hear a tapping behind you.

You turn around… no… it was Angel… and he was staring at you. You almost forgot about this. It's actually been a pretty good amount of time inbetween a ton of shenanigans since you've seen the little fuzzball. "Uhhh… heya… Angel… What's up?"

Not like he could say anything. But he brought out from behind him, a pencil, and some paper… welp… that’s where those went. "Uhh, whatcha doin with those buddy?"

Angel started drawing on the paper with the pencil. He drew a crude drawing of you, stopped, and showed it to you.

"Is that supposed to be me?"

Angel nodded, then he drew a picture of Fluttershy. And as he continued. he drew a line from your hoof to her flank. What… was he implying… You silently watch as he points to you, then her, and then proceeds to draw an X on you. Then he points out the window.
There… was a bear, A FUCKING BEAR. and he was looking at you rather threateningly as he punched his paw into his other paw.

Holy shit… He meant fucking business. "You really think I'd do that?"

Angel nodded at you

You wanted to grab the little piece of shit and toss him to the wall. But you probably only felt that way because at this point you didn't know what you'd do with yourself if you ever did anything lewd to Fluttershy… not to her. She was like a mother to you.

You kept your voice low as you began to speak. "I would never do that… listen. I know we haven't seen each other in awhile. And I don't know where you got the idea that I'm some sexual deviant. But I'm not..."

Angel stares at you, tapping his foot. He didn't believe you.

Fuck, Angel knew people… er… animals,scary animals. Not wanting to take a beating from said animals. You try to explain to him why you wouldn't. It's better you just be truthful with him at a point.

"Ok… I wouldn't do anything to Fluttershy. Look, ok, look. I do get urges… but for other ponies. I'm a guy, come on. You're a rabbit, you should know that kind of thing."

Angel taps his chin for a moment, then looks back at you with a defensive gaze. Ugh… if only you could talk with him. You could maybe use the horn, maybe. Could it do that? But you've had no practice with it. And given your first use… all it could be is just some giant magic cannon.

"Look, Angel. Fluttershy treats me almost like I'm her son. I could never… ever do that to her. Please believe me. Look, if you want the truth, fine. If I had the chance. I'd do lewd things with Twilight for all I care... But never to Fluttershy. Is that good enough? Can we please be friends? Or you just not threaten me with a bear?"

You really didn't want to tangle with a bear. Angel was already more terrifying than even Bugqueen and Discord combined… Christ.

Angel stared deeply into your eyes. he glared at you, as if he was studying you. He looked back at the window, and waved his paw at the bear. The bear nodded, and walked off. as if nothing had occurred… Oh geez..

"So, you believe me?"

Angel nodded, but then he pointed at the Fluttershy drawing, then slid his paw over to yours, and gave it a stomp. A warning… You gulped… Best not to fuck with this rabbit.

Shortly after, Fluttershy emerges from her room,Carrying everything but the pencil and paper,and the moment she does, Angel kicks the paper with the drawings behind him.

"I'm sorry Anon, I think I misplaced your pencil and… oh..." She sees Angel holding a pencil, he lifts it up high as he makes a happy face as if he was being helpful. "Oh… I guess I did misplace them. Thank you Angel for finding Anon's things.What would I do without you?"

Little tricky bastard. Angel smiled at her and made little noises as he hopped over to her to get a petting. "Oh, you two are friends now? That's so good! I knew if you both just gave eachother a chance that you'd be friends… and in such a short amount of time too. What did you two talk about?"

So naive… ngh… what could you even talk about with a rabbit who couldn't actually talk. Angel made some gestures and expressions, Fluttershy nodded with each one. then closed her eyes and beamed a big smile "Oh my, I didn't know you both had in an interest in carrots. If I had known that, I would have added a little in Anon's breakfast."

Woo… What a little mastermind that rabbit was. Definitely not to be taken lightly unless you had some magic of your own. Fluttershy carefully put the rest of the items on the table. "Here you go Anon, with these you'll be ready for anything!"

You take a moment to compose yourself, then nod to Fluttershy "Yeah… Thanks Aunt Fluttershy. Uhh, thanks Angel, for finding the paper and pencil." Angel did a bow, then lifted his head high enough to give you a glare that suggested he'd be watching you. Then hopped off. Ok… Crisis averted

Fluttershy went to her window. She seemed to be getting worried. "I hope Discord hurries soon. I don't want to have to leave without him. We should both be here to walk you to school, together."

You look over to her, she was really committed. She just stared out the window for him like a lost lover. You wondered if she had a thing for him, Since Discord swears up and down that he doesn't have a thing for her. But now wasn't the time to ask. "I'm sure he'll get here in time. I mean, he's gotta be busy with something. He could just teleport if he wanted to, right?"

Fluttershy nodded… you were right, he could. But then... "I hope he didn't get into any trouble then, oh no… what if he got into trouble?!" Now she was really worried. Dammit, you didn't mean to worry her.

"N-nah, come on. It's the morning. What trouble could he get into? Maybe he got stopped on the street by, I dunno, Pinkie Pie. And is having a chat with her… or something.."

Fluttershy wondered "I, suppose that could happen. But then, I hope Discord wouldn't lose track of time, but, still… oohhhh… I just hope he gets here soon." to not say anything more on it. It only seemed to worry her more. It seemed this meant a lot to her than it did you and possibly Discord. Then she started pacing, keeping her eye on the clock. "Ohhh… we might have to be getting ready to go if he doesn't show up… come on Discord..."

You started putting the things in your saddle bag just in case… seriously… where the hell was he? "Please don't worry Aunt Fluttershy, I'm sure he's, I dunno, maybe he's doing it on purpose, to make the surprise… more of a surprise?"

"But if he doesn't hurry soon, then we won't have time for the surprise… Discord… please hurry, please" Fluttershy was holding on to the shred of hope. He wouldn't do this just not to show up...right?

You went to look out the window, see what it looked like outside… and… oh… crap. "A-aunt Fluttershy… u-uhh… You need to see this.."

Fluttershy stopped her pacing, curious as to what you could have saw that could have spooked you. "What is it… oh my..."

It was Discord, on a carriage being pulled by invisible… ponies? And behind him was… a huge crate. What the…

"What do you think… what do you think that is?"

"I don't know..." Fluttershy opened her window and called to the approaching Draconequus. albeit, not very loudly "Discord!"

Discord looked over to her and waved as he stopped right next to her little bridge. and started to float over the huge crate over to the front door. This thing was massive. What the hell could it be?

Fluttershy rushed over to her front door and opened it as Discord stood outside, using his talons to drill the screws out of the crate. Fluttershy was slightly angry that he took so long, making a possibility that you could be late. But that crate… it caught her interest. As it did you as you followed behind her.

"Discord, what took you so long?" She asked as she eyed the crate

Discord finished unscrewing the last of the crate's screws, then looked at his talon as it he spun it a few more times, making a "Whirr" noise. "I do apologize Fluttershy, I had a little trouble getting the colors right on this thin