• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 300

Author's Note:

Anon wakes up.
A guy brings some breakfast.
And Twilight learns.

And so, you both ate as the train chugged along. Twilight used the opportunity to open up conversation with you. "So Anon, What exactly happened up in those mountains?"

Exactly? Nope… "Didn't Princess Celestia say not to really talk about it til we got to Canterlot?"

"Well, yes, but.." Twilight pushed her pancakes aside as she rested her forelegs on the dining table in front of the both of you, putting her hooves together as she gave you a serious glare. "If it involves a changeling. I think I should know some more information before we actually get there. That way I can understand the situation better."

"It's fine Twilight, really." You start munching down on your pancakes. Oh yeah, it tasted great. "Let's just wait like Princess Celestia told us to"

Twilight didn't respond to that at first. She seemed a little miffed that you wouldn't say anything, she was just too curious. But her silence only lasted a moment before she started eating from her own plate, putting on some extra syrup for that sweet sweet taste. "....Alright, I understand." She silently ate after that, so you decided to continue eating yourself. But after a few minutes... "....So then. How are you and your father doing? I mean together. Everything alright?" Twilight asks after swallowing a small bite.

"Hm? Oh, yeah we’re cool. Me and him are getting closer everyday. Like I said at the party, he's a really good dad."

"That's good, and you and your sister?"

"Pretty close. Erm, you could say that we're pretty much stuck on eachother at this point. She's always nice, even when she's got a headache" Oh god, you hoped she wouldn't kill you after that hangover. And those poor changelings....Well, it was too late now. You'd have to deal with that later.

"That's good, I'm very glad to hear that. Say, Anon, as I understand it, you were given two charges on your horn" Twilight brings up.

She wasn't going to berate you, was she? You look at her with caution. "Y-yeah, why?"

"I was actually interested in a little pre class demonstration. I understand that you have an even larger understanding of chaos magic than before so....You wouldn't mind, would you?" Twilight gives you a big smile.

She was asking for you to use magic? In public? Chaos fucking magic? "You're not worried about what could happen?"

"I trust you, Anon, I trust you enough to believe that you definitely have a handle on your horn at this point. I know, I know, I should be patient. But I've always had an interest in all kinds of magic and you're the only one I'm willing to ask about chaos magic."

You chuckle at that. She really didn't want to ask Discord at all about it. "I guess my dad is a little too eccentric, huh? I guess I could work up a little something and...wha?" The moment you were about to say yes, Twilight magically pulled up an empty scroll and quill. "Where...what? huh? Where did those come from?"

"Well, you didn't expect me to ask without being prepared to take down notes, did you?" Twilight had a happy little giggle. Riiiiight. course she'd be prepared.

"Umm, sure. Well..." You grab your horn and place it on your head. "So, I assume you remember that once you cast a chaos spell, you're committed to it until the task you had cast it for is done, right?"

Twilight nodded. "Yes, I remember that"

"Ok cool, so....Chaos's only real limit is one's imagination. I could make anything happen. Except, as it turns out, it can't be used to actually fix things."

"It can't? Why not? How does your father fix his own mistakes then? Unless fixing things have to be....chaotic?"

"Something like that. If you do fix something up, like say for example, when my Dad tried to fix up the Crystal Heart, he did it in a way that one wouldn't expect. So, really, you're not actually fixing anything. You're just changing it to fit your own style. However, as it turns out, you can CANCEL your spells AFTER they've been cast properly. Well, as you mentioned, MY dad can. For me? I'd have to use another charge to do it. Because all it is is reverting the chaos you already caused, not actually fixing it. It's a theory, but I believe the reason why that is is because it's not considered fixing anything, it's just taking back what you caused, which is just a form of chaos within itself since you're bringing chaos to your own magic by reverting it back to normal."

Twilight wrote that all down, then tapped her quill a little on the parchment while she thought. "But wouldn't that mean he'd be able to fix chaos by doing the same thing to it? I feel like there’s a hole in there somewhere."

"It's mostly because there's still order within a broken item or some such. Like uhhh, there's no extra pieces or there’s nothing weird growing out of it. It's still normal, just shattered or broken. Chaos is very finicky. When it comes to magic, it pretty much equates to really zany stuff, real oddball kinds of things. In fact, you could fix problems through chaos magic if you really put your mind to it. Not in a way that one might want. But hey, we all know my Dad could have shipped Tirek back in a box, first class, straight to Tartarus if he wanted to. Right? Something he'd probably be willing to do without say...losing his way, at least in the future"

"Huh, that's true. And that would have fixed the problem, despite it being a chaotic solution....Hmmmm" Twilight stopped herself when she realized what you were talking about in that example. Discord never losing his way? It made her feel a better sense of care for the chaotic being.

"Something wrong Twilight?"

"Oh, no no" Twilight smiled and gave you a gentle pat. "I just lost my train of thought. Which is funny because we're on a train!" Twilight giggled and winked. "See what I did there?"

Ehhhhh, when you have to explain your pun, it makes it less funny. But, you just smile to be nice, you couldn't force a laugh though. Odd , she lost her train of thought? Maybe it was too early in the day for her too. "I do...yeah...anyway, umm, to continue. Let's try using chaos magic on something. In fact, why don't you suggest something. It can be anything"

"Anything, huh? Let's see" Twilight pondered on that. "let's see. Oh I know! Why don't you make my pancakes into waffles!"

...Really? "Uhhh, that's the best you could come up with?"

"Well, it's the safest."

"C'mon Twilight. I've already shown you some of what I can do. Don't make me waste a charge on pancakes. Think, something bigger, cooler, neater!"Besides...Waffles sucked compared to pancakes.

"Ok ok, if it'll help the lesson, I'll think of something else. Let's see..." Twilight started to look around, then she stared at your eyes, then outside. "How about we try something a little daring. I remember your father being able to turn ponies into their opposite natures-"

Woaaaahhhh wait. That's too much. You stop her right there. "Twilight, stop right there. I ain't doing that to you. Are you out of your mind?!"

Twilight shook her head and looked at you with a bit of a hardened stare. "If you'd let me finish. Anon, I'm just interested in how I'd be. But I don't want you to actually warp my mind. I was actually wondering if you could create a copy representing my opposite self and keeping it contained right here on our seats. Is that possible? I think I could learn a lot if I met a chaotic version of myself."

What the fuck?! "Twilight, that's a bit of a tall order. I mean, I could totally do it. But I don't think it's a good idea. That other you could turn out to be really mean and nasty."

"That's why I want it contained right here. Soundproofed and everything. I think it'll be interesting. But I only want to do it if you're sure you could cast the spell right."

You weren't sure at all. But chaos magic, you were sure you had it down. And hell, A bizzarro Twilight? That piqued your interest. As long as you had it contained, it should be fine. Besides, how could you pass this up? "Totally sure I can do it if you can handle it. Alright, let's do it. But the spell won't last too long. You're ok with a time limit right?"

"Of course. That's actually a good idea. Let's just keep it a brief twenty minutes. About the amount of time it'd take to get to Canterlot from here"

That works. "Alrighty then. Prepare yourself, Twilight. For we are about to meet your Anti self!..BEHOLD!" You prep up your magic with your horn, creating an invisible barrier around your seats as a small magical ball goes through Twilight's head, making her yelp as it passes through the other side and lands on the open seat next to you, poofing into a greyed out Twilight lacking wings.

It slumped forward onto the table, looking grumpy and lacking life. "Ooohhh great. I get to exist, how fun. And for what? To learn things? I hate learning. I'm already smart..."

Ohh boy. It already started. "Ummm, ta da?"

Twilight looked upon her anti self, not knowing how to feel. she didn't expect 'Herself' to look so depressed. "Um, hello other me. Are you really my opposite side?"

"What's it look like? Ugh, why does it matter? I'm only going to exist for a few minutes anyway. At least I don't have to make friends, I hate friends." The anti Twilight groaned as she slowly shifted her eyes towards Twilight, and rolled them. "You think you're pretty good with those wings, don't you?"

Holy crap. What the hell was...never mind. You knew the answer to exactly what was wrong with her.

"I don't think I'm better than anypony with my wings, Nor with my title. I'm just like everypony else.....Why are you so mean?" Twilight asked.

"Really? I'm your opposite. Meaning I'm mean because I'm mean. Like, holy crackers. You're the one who asked me to exist, you dummy. You should already know that." The Anti Twilight sniped at her normal self.

"Ok, let's try something else." Twilight was slowly feeling some regret over her decision, but she did find the situation itself interesting. "So, you're my opposite self. Yet you seem pretty smart. Shouldn't you be, erm, not that smart? I don't want to sound ru-"

"You stupid book worm. I'm as smart as you because I AM you, it's our qualities that are opposite. Like.." Anti Twilight looks at you with a groan. "How do you even deal with me? I can't even deal with me right now. I'd take notes on how dumb she is and then shove it in her face, but I don't have enough time."

Dammit, you didn't want to say anything. Ugh… "I mean, she isn't that bad. She's just trying to learn more about her opposite self. To study her chaotic side."

"Wow, brilliant" Anti Twilight clapped her hooves with visual sarcasm. "You're a real putz, you know that? Did you even think this through when you pulled me out of her? No, don't answer that. You're as reckless as Discord, and just as annoying"

"I'm not annoying! Wait..." You looked at Twilight, feeling insulted. "You think I'm annoying?!"

"What?! No, I-" Twilight stammered

But then her anti self cut in. "Of course she doesn't, dumby. She only thinks it sometimes, usually when she's sperging about something you did. I think you're annoying ALL the time, because I don't trust you. I don't trust myself either, you're such a nag!"

"I'm not a nag! I've never nagged anypony!" Twilight barked back.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, nope. That's wrong. You have nagged Anon about what he does, you've nagged Rainbow Dash when she tries to get out of something, you have nagged Pinkie when she overdoes things. And the list goes on and on. You'll even use your magic to magically pull any and all of your friends front in center so you can nag them"

"I don't do, oh well, UGH!" Twilight slammed her hoof at the table, aggravated with her anti self. "Ok, I have done that. But it's always for a good reason! It's not to be a nag, but because it's for something important!"

"Yeah, sometimes it’s to spout some stupid friendship lesson too. Because everypony has to be friends right and, ugh...I HATE pancakes!" Anti Twilight notices your pancakes near her legs, and swipes them to the side, making them hit your face.

"Hey, that wasn't nice!" Twilight growled. "You could have really hurt him."

"Oh, you mean like this?" the Anti Twilight's horn glowed as she smirked evilly at her other self.

As you whined and threw the pancakes from your face, you felt a huge splotch of syrup hit it right after, making you fall over and roll about . "MY EYES! IT GOT IN MY EYES! IT'S SOOOO STICKY!"

The anti Twilight started to laugh at you. "Ha! See, now that's funny. Funnier than anything Pinkie Pie could come up with. Now I wish I existed. I'd study up on slapstick to really bring the humor home."

"Stop it!" Twilight leaned over the table now, giving her anti-self a threatening scowl.

"Or what? Are you going to make me learn a lesson? Literally? Hah!" Anti Twilight smirked, but only for a moment before leaning back. "Ugh, this isn't very satisfying, or interesting. Look, just leave me be. I want to go back to not existing. You're all really boring."

"I'm not letting you do anything until you apologize to Anon, right now!" Twilight slammed her hoof on the table again.

"Nope, also, love the way you're barking at me while he's on the floor screaming, Princess of Friendship, shouldn't you help him out? No...Yes? Whhhaaatever, just shut up and go get me a book to read. Something you haven't read yet, because whatever you read, I've read. And everything you read stinks" Anti Twilight put her hind legs onto the table as she rested her head on her forelegs.

Twilight was red and furious at herself. But her attention went to you, to help you, she quickly used her magic to remove the syrup from your face. And while you finally had a moment of reprieve, you felt yourself get pulled up by the scruff and held right in front of anti Twilight. "Apologize to him...now!"

"Ugh, my face. Twilight, Twilight. l-let's just forget the wholeWOAH!" You didn't even realize where you were until you got shook by Twilight's magic

Twilight brought you right in front of her anti self and yelled. "APOLOGIZE! I WILL NOT HAVE MYSELF ACT LIKE A JERK TOWARDS MY FRIENDS!"

Anti Twilight slowly pushed you away with a smirk "Really?" She looked directly at her other self. "That's pretty ironic, considering you nearly sealed Anon up forever. Or did that slip your mind? Because I know it hasn't, it still bothers you."

Twilight's ears drooped as she started to falter. "I...I..that was an accident"

"I know, I know it was. It was just an accident that could have caused more chaos than anything that loser Discord could have caused." Anti Twilight cackled. "Hah, ok, now I'm feeling pretty good. Yeah, anti friendship. That's my calling isn't it?" the Anti Twilight, right there, right then, suddenly grew wings. It surprised Twilight enough for her to lose her magical grip on you, making you drop a few inches. Hell it surprised you. Anti Twilight just went alicorn in front of both your eyes.

"Hah! neat. Ok then, so, as the Princess of Loneliness, let me tell you this. You don't deserve Fluttershy's friendship anymore after that. Sure, she can forgive you, you can even forgive yourself. But you still tried, and that will never EVER go away" Anti Twilight looked evilly towards her other self.

Twilight went silent. You? Oh hell no. Now you were really pissed. You weren't going to let that evil Twilight talk to her other self like that. "Listen here you tramp! I already forgave Twilight over that and everything is fine. That's the past, so shut your mouth before I decide to make you exist forever in a lake of frozen pastrami!"

Anti Twilight just smirked and whapped your nose with her wing, making you fall back and sneeze at the same time. "Cute...Stay out of it, Anon. I know her better than you do. And I know I'm right. If you wanna do something, let me exist for real. I actually feel like I have a purpose in life now. I want everypony to know just how cruel they really are inside. I want friendship to break apart at the seams. It'll be great!" She started to cackle madly.

Dammit, this version of Twilight was more of a bitch than the original...Hell, she was worse than Chrysalis.

You stood up on the table after wiping your nose, and gave her an angry look. "Listen you, I swe-"

"Anon, stop..." Twilight tells you with a low voice.

Wha? "B-but, Twilight."

Anti Twilight then felt she had won, feeling like she had broke Twilight's spirit. "She's the princess, better listen to her before she decides to banish you to the Badlands. Ha, I can't believe how wimpy my other self is. Soooo easy."

"You know, you're right. I can be wimpy sometimes" Twilight said in a defeated voice.

"T-twilight?" Not good...

"Yup, that's why I deserve to exist. Maybe you should just live inside me for awhile. I can show you how things are really done." Anti Twilight felt victorious now that she felt she had a reason to exist and a way to bring her other self down.

"You didn't let me finish" Twilight raised her head, smirking. "I guess my opposite self would be pretty rude."


Both you and the Anti Twilight looked surprised.

"But let me tell you this. even when I'm feeling at my worst, I always have my friends to back me up and raise my spirits. That includes Anon, who already forgave me for what I did and is still my friend even when I do nag him. I guess you wanted to just ruin everything so much that it slipped your mind." Twilight, as she spoke, used her magic to safely pull you away, she put you by her side on the seat.

Anti Twilight growled and used her magic to throw the table to the side. "Shut Up! I know more about you than you could ever know!"

"That's right, you would. And guess what? I know everything about you, more than you could ever know." Twilight, was she? Did she know something even you didn't know?

"Y-you can't. What are you even talking about?" Anti Twilight felt confused. She couldn't figure out why her regular self was acting so smug.

"I'm talking about the fact that I know you inside and out. I understand the lesson, even if it wasn't intended. You were created out of the chaos of Anon's magic and my doubt. You're everything I don't want to be. No, everything I'm scared to be. I could have been you if I never learned the value of friendship and just let the chaos of loneliness riddle my mind. And, although irrelevant, if I did become like you, then my anti-self, my chaotic self, would be as I am now. I understand now that chaos isn't exactly what you want it to be, it's what you make of it. It can be good, bad, wild, or even mild. All it really means is it's not the norm. And with Anon's theory, it's why it can be pulled back until it's run it's course. Because it being normal is not the norm, and only chaos can break it's own norm. It's like a reverse effect! There's no question about it now." Twilight looked so confident. You, you were kinda lost now.

"Um, Twilight. what does it all mean then?" Was there something about chaos she understood that you didn't? The hell did all of that even mean?

Anti Twilight growled in anger, then shouted at you. "You moron! It means she's figured it out better than you could teach it! But listen, and listen good. You can't possibly think you can just overcome me. I AM you! No matter what! "

"I know, Princess of Loneliness. Did you forget that I'm the Princess of Friendship?" Twilight was still smirking at her, calm and cool.

"Yeah, and?" Anti Twilight couldn't figure out what that meant.

Twilight shrugged and shook her head. "I guess you're the moron then. Sorry if that was rude, but it's true. But let me explain. You can't nor will ever actually exist because I have the support of my family and friends. And so, even if there are times where I feel down or doubt myself, I have my friends to pick me up. I know I've said it. But I also know, that you already knew that. You just wanted to make me feel like I didn't. Anon forgave me, Fluttershy forgave me, Me and my friends forgive each other and even enjoy each others company even if we don't agree on something, even if I'm a 'nag'. But you? you're the me who doesn't have that in its purest form, you're the me who can only exist if I didn't have my friends. And do you know what that means?"

"Don't say it! DON'T SAY IT!" Anti Twilight's horn started to glow, it was like she was going to attack.

"It means, you don't really exist at all. You're just the me produced by chaos magic, produced through the possibility of me never coming to terms with the friendship lessons I have learned. It was a good lesson Twilight, and even some good insight, but it's time for you to go now. I'll apologize for you though, once you're gone." Twilight gave her a more cheerful smile.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Anti Twilight screamed as bursts of light blew out of her body before she exploded like a flash bomb.

Both you and Twilight covered your eyes from the burst. When both your visions cleared, you both were sitting exactly where you originally were. The table back where it was, even what was left of the pancakes was back in place. Hell, as you both looked out the window, you could see you were already arriving in Canterlot.

You were speechless.

Twilight though. She sighed, then smiled at you "I'm sorry about throwing those pancakes in your face, Anon." She giggled. "And thanks for the lesson. It was very interesting."

You were just flabbergasted. You did not mean for any of that shit to happen. Holy fuck, that got nuts.

Twilight laughed as she got up and called you along to exit the train as it stopped, packing the pancakes in a container for you to eat later "I'll just take that as an a-ok. Come on now, we don't want to be late."

"Y-yeah...woah, that was nuts" You got up and walked along with Twilight as you both stepped out into the city. "That was really cool Twilight. I didn't even mean for it to go that far." Like seriously, that was a new lesson for you as it was for her.

Twilight looked forward, with a comfortable look on her face. "It was just a review on friendship while learning about chaos, Anon, it wasn't anything I couldn't handle."

Thank god she was being good about it. Because if you had done that to anyone else she'd probably be berating you. But whatever, you felt you did good...maybe....fuck if you actually knew. "Yeah, well. It was still really cool"

Twilight had a light laugh at your persistence. "Well, you're really cool for giving me that lesson. I learned a lot."

Well, yeah. That was good. Yeah, it's fine. You didn't understand it completely. But hey, it felt like you had a better connection with Twilight, as she had a better connection to herself. Now hopefully whatever Celestia had planned didn't ruin anything.

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