• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,515 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 257 - Flim Flam Future Arc

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Chrysalis passes out.
Foals cheer.
And Anon uses the power of hope and friendship.

Rainbow Dash sped right to the wall and gave it a kick, then started feeling around it. "Nuts! I can't get this stupid thing to flip around!"

"It's a one way door, the only way to flip it around is from the other side" Gertrude explains.

"..So they’re gone?" Sunset looked over to the wall, she didn't want them to escape. "Darn! What do we do now?"

Pinkie went over to the fallen Applejack to check on her. She put her ear to her chest and could hear her heartbeats... And hear her whisper "Mah apple orchards". "If anypony is wondering, Orangejack is ok!" Pinkie gives the hoof up.

"Erm, her name is Applejack. But yeah, about their escape, does it even matter now? We have everything we need to fix everything. We should probably be worried about the rest of those diamond dogs." You inquire, those guys might be rather tough.

"Hmph, a trivial fight. Once they realize their leaders have abandoned them, they'll turn tail and run" Chrysalis scoffed.

Celestia looked towards the wall, and shook her head, she had hoped there was a way to reform them. Even after all this, she didn't want to seal them up, she just felt that they were lost. "Cowardice will be their vice. But Anon is right, we needn't stall here. We must chase away the Diamond Dogs, free the foals, and begin the restoration of Equestria. However, I have been gone for so long. Both in body and mind. I fear I may not be able to do this alone."

"Pfft! come on, you raise the sun and the moon, like, everyday! How hard can it be to be a princess again? You got this Princess Celestia, you just need to update your coolness a little. I can help you with that one" Rainbow Dash says as words of encouragement.

"And I can help bring you smiles whenever you’re sad! I say we throw a party at the castle and everypony who wants to come is invited!" Pinkie cheers!

"Mah farm" Applejack drools.

"Well, if you're all are going to party then I'm going to take the time to plan out the restoration of the castle. Somepony has to get things fixed around here and I refuse to let Princess Celestia walk around in this mess. Might keep the intercoms though" Sunset looks at one at the corner of the ceiling. "Kind of gives me that home away from home feeling"

Celestia looks down to Sunset with a smile and shakes her head. "Oh, I think you can save that for another day, Sunset. If the ponies of Equestria would have me back as Princess, then I'm going to need an adviser. Want the job?"

Sunset was taken aback. That was super surprising to her. "P-Princess Celestia, you can't mean that. Not after, y'know, I abandoned you before. Besides, I'm so used to the wor-"

Princess Celestia giggled and put her hoof on Sunset. "And skipping all that, we get to the part where you took care of a shattered old mare. Sunset, I won't have any of this negative talk. Besides, it's either you...or my two garden friends. Which do you think is best?"

Sunset sighed, she knew what she was getting at. It was either be her adviser or make sure she didn't go crazy with the two garden ornaments. After her sigh, Sunset let out a chuckle. "That's not fair, you know."

"Oh, I think it's fair enough. You're not the only tricky pony in the room" Celestia giggled.

Twilight just looked upon the merriment. Everything was done now. She got to meet her hero, she got to hang out with her. But now that she was going to become a princess again, It probably meant she had to go back to the hotel...alone. "Well, I guess that's it then. I-it was nice meeting you all. But, I guess now that things are over...Well, it was fun at least. I really did have a nice time." Twilight was chuckling nervously, she had no idea how to say goodbye or how to act right now. Her arrogance of helping with the situation gone now that it was over.

Sunset noticed it. She noticed since Twilight had been alone for so long, she must have thought that with things over with, their time together was done. Sunset actually liked having Twilight around. During their time together after you and Chrysalis left, they really bonded together, both of them having mostly similar interests. Though Sunset did put off Twilight sometimes with her spunk, it still grew into a good enough friendship to work together to develop the trap disabling pulse spell. "Actually...Princess, if you're gonna be that way. Then this adviser is gonna need an assistant. Somepony with as much respect for you as I do. Somepony who'd love to be able to be by you and learn from you. Hrmmmm" Sunset points to Twilight right when she's about to turn. "Yo Twilight, want the job?"

"What?! Me?! Your assistant?! So I can be around..P-p-p-princess Celestia?!" Twilight stammered, utterly shocked.

"Y-y-y-y-yes. So, you want it? going once.." Sunset smirked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Twilight responded immediately with a big skip, and a cute hop. "YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES! IT'S MY DREAM COME TRUE! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW! ME! SUNSET'S ASSISTANT! SO I CAN BE AROUND PRINCESS CELESTIA HERSELF! I GOTTA GET A LETTER TO MY BROTHER AND MY PARENTS! I JUST...oh" Twilight stops, blushes and giggles sheepishly. "I mean, yes..I-I accept...ahrm...hmm"

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "Ok, I'm done. Where's that portal home? I'm getting sick of this place already."

Gertrude just stared on at everything. She didn't know what the future held for her. She had been trapped in the castle for so long… "Well, I must agree. Now that there's nothing more for me here, I might as well find a hole to crawl under and formulate a new plan or two for...things. And I'd suggest none of you try to stop me, I still have a few tricks in these legs of mine"

"Actually Gertrude, I had something in mind for you too" Celestia tells her, looking to her with a more regal expression.

"What? The dungeon? Typical Celestia..." Getrude says snidely, wanting not much more of what she had to say.

"Well, if you consider a home a dungeon, I suppose I could have one put in for you. But what I have in mind is actually something you might like." Celestia doesn't break her stare, neither does Gertrude at this point.

"And that is?"

"A place to hold your family. These foals are all orphans, aren't they? From what I understand, you've done a good job taking care of them. How would you like to become their caretaker?" Celestia steps closer with caution, a gentle smile forming on her face.

"Don't even..." Gertrude turns away. "A changeling queen as a mother to pony children? Laughable....I actually take of-"

Celestia's smile turns into a small grin. "I already heard everything. So you needn't put up a front. And besides, isn't there a very particular foal who would be crushed if his Momma Gertrude went into hiding?"

Gertrude looked to Celestia with furious anger. Rushing right up to her, face to face. "HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD.....THAT I WOULD.......I..." But Celestia's grin never left her. Yep, Celestia was back to her old self sans the flowing mane. ".....Fine...I accept. But I won't like it..."

Chrysalis put a hoof to her face. "Shameful..."

Celestia then finally looked down to you. "Anon...I'd like to thank you for last night. and for all this. Without you, I don't think any of this would be possible"

That made you grin, oh yeah baby! Anon coming out on top. "Heh, yeah well. Y'know, I kinda had some cheat sheets sorta. But hey, you’re welcome. Loved every bit of it"

Celestia leaned down, and brought you up for a hug. "Really Anon...thank you"

"Mnnn....No problem Princess..." You say in a softer and more caring tone. "I'm just glad I was able to help"

"Eh" Rainbow Dash gave the wall one last kick. "I had a cool line about quitting the force too. Chickens..."

And then...suddenly. There was a shaking, like a small earthquake. A sound can be heard coming from the main floor of the power station as the speakers started to blare. "Ah, look at that Flam, they think we left."

"Indeed Flim, they didn't realize that we still need this station to open the portal to our new home. In fact, I think we can open that portal as soon as we are done with them."

"Indeed! We needed to give our prototype a test run! And my my my, what luck do we have to be able to test it against the group who thought they could out con us, The Flim Flam brothers."

"Come one, Come all. Meet us out on the floor so we may test our "Mashing Fighter Villain Masher 5000"."

Ahh shit.

The group ran out to meet the machine. Sunset asking Pinkie to stay behind to keep an eye on Applejack and the foals.

When you all stepped onto the main floor. The giant steel door under the blue orb container began to slowly open. And out emerged a horrendous machine. It was a silver cylinder with tank treads and a huge cannon on it's right shoulder. It's right and left side had closed latches, the head looked like a knight's helmet, with Flim and Flam behind the exposed visor. There was a thick windshield between the visor for them to see what they were doing. Inside their cockpit were tons of levers and controls. There was also two attachments of some tubes placed on their horns.

"What the hay is that thing?!" Rainbow Dash pointed out.

Flim snickered. "The "Mashing Fighter Villain Masher 5000", pretty nifty eh?"

"Oh come on! You're the villains here! It should be mashing the both of you!" Rainbow dash growled at them.

"We won't be villains where we're going Ex-Chief Dash. Perish the thought! We'll be heroes...but first, I'm afraid, we'll have to make sure our machine works by using you all as guinea pigs."

Dammit, you wouldn't fuck up this time. You wouldn't let them get away. But what could you do? What kind of magic could you use to pierce that armor? Would it even work? You only got one shot.

"I'm done talking. I say we just blast them. That abomination can't take all of us! I hate to say this...I really do. But we must attack..together! DO IT!" Chrysalis announced as she aimed her horn, and started blasting the robot with all her might as everyone else joined in. Either with Rainbow Dashes flying buck attacks, Gertrude's strikes, and the magic of Sunset and Twilight.

They were giving it all they could and it wasn't doing anything. It was scaring you. You aimed your horn. But what would you do? What could you do that they couldn't?

"Yes, keep attacking. All you're proving is that we are as good at crafting as we are at making a good sales pitch" Flim taunted.

"Face it, there's nothing you can do! We made sure to research all we could and take samples of everything available to us. That even includes you, Celestia. These machines are impervious to every magic available. Unicorn, Changeling, Dark magic, even Changeling magic...It's impossible. But keep trying, It'll give us time to test our weapon system. Let's start light...Flim, would you do the honors?"

Flim shook his head. "Oh no no, after you brother"

"I couldn't. Perhaps if we did it together?" Flam smirked.

"A brillaint idea, truly stupendous" Flim's smirk matched his brother's. Then then spoke out together.

"Sleep dart salvo...FIRE!" And they slammed their hooves together on a button.

You could see the chest of the robot open up to reveal a ton of holes. Holes in which the darts would come out. And yet your friends still fought as hard as they could. They all believed in victory, they all believed they could defeat this thing. Even when it looked like they were doing nothing.

And then, it hit you. It was something they just said.

They were testing it against the available magic they had built the armor around. But..only available magic. There were three magics you were aware of that they couldn't have possibly tested it against.

The Magic of the Elements

Rainbow Power

....and Chaos magic.

.....Chaos magic, could that work?

As the darts readied to fire, your mind started working quickly. You sifted through every cartoon in your head in a way to stop the robot. But with a horn weakened to the point that even you didn't know it's limit of, what could you possibly do to beat the robot? What kind of shot? This robot, It to have some resistance to chaos magic.

There was nothing you could think of though. The damn robot was a cylinder. It didn't look like it had any weaknesses. Where the fuck do you shoot?

And then the darts began to fire. It was like time froze for a second. Cartoons weren't the answer… At least...not American.

The darts went flying out like missiles from the chest of the robot. Everyone either gasped or stopped in fright from them darting forward and tried to either block it or form a magic shield. But the darts cut through it all. And right when they were about to hit…

It looked like the end, but when everyone opened their eyes, the darts were suddenly all bunched up, and floating in front of them.

"What the hay? What happened?" Rainbow Dash just looked right at the darts and reached up to touch them.

"They just stopped? That's not possible, physics doesn't work like that" Twilight was baffled.

"Anon?...Your horn...." Chrysalis noticed your horn glowing, as she looked at you with confusion. "And those clothes.."

"That's impossible! They should be in dreamland by now!" Flim was astonished

"That colt....There's no possible way! His magic stopped the darts! That's impossible, they are made out of the same material as our glorious Villain Masher. There's no possible way he could stop it!" Flam was desperately trying to figure out what was going on.

And there you stood, looking directly at them, wearing an open blue japanese school uniform and a specialized hat, a Bancho outfit essentially. Your undershirt being of a red color. You looked at them with deadly, fatal, nasty eyes. "I'm going to put an end to this. Everypony, I need your help. I need you to believe in me!...please. I think I can do this."

"Hey, you're the first one to actually do something. Whatever magic you're doing. I'm behind you all the way" Rainbow Dash couldn't understand what was going on or where you got those clothes. But you were the first to get the brothers to react in a negative fashion.

"Anon, That's the horn right? Woah....didn't think it could do anything like that. But yeah, Of course I believe in you. I believe in all of us. We've come too far to let these jerks beat us!" Sunset was in, as was everyone else one by one.

And then Celestia saw it. A green being was coming into her vision. Something that was holding the darts in place. "...Discord?"

"..W-what is that thing?" Twilight pointed out as a green Draconequus began to form. It looked like Discord, but was buff, with human arms instead of the mish mash Discord had. His green tint beard and hair was flowing like there was an ever constant wind. and his earrings were gold links of chains. His legs however, were still that of Discord. It was gripping the darts like they were nothing.

"That's....not him..is it? It can't be" Chrysalis was squinting her eyes, she could see something resembling Discord, but it was less clear to her than the others. But the fact she could see it, it comforted you. For the reasons you were about to spout.

"What are you all talking about?! I don't see anything!" Flam let out, as he put his hoof over another button.

"A ruse brother, a ruse! Remember, that horn was given to him by Discord. It must have some sort of magic we hadn't planned for. But we can still tear through it!" Flim couldn't see it either.

"Then tear through it we shall, launching second volley" Flam slammed his hoof on the button.

But as soon as the second volley of darts came out. The green Discord darted about. Catching every dart into his free hand with ease.

"Woah...that's fast" Rainbow Dash was amazed.

"Impossible! there's no way! They may be darts, but the combined force of their anti magic properties should have torn through that barrier! How!" Flim and Flam were in sync on that one, and demanded answers.

You could feel the power coursing through you. You had decided to go on an anime route on this one. But not just anime, you had more than that. This "Stand", as you based it from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, was more than just an entity of Chaos magic. It had to be, if it was just the Chaos magic working through it, it'd probably be too weak to even stop the darts.

Using what you have learned from both the ponies and Chrysalis. You decided that it's power would be that of a beneficial parasite. It would use the love, hope, and determination of those who believed in you and convert it into power. The power of your friends would see you through. And what made you smile...was that even Chrysalis could see it.

"I'll tell you how. The power of my friends is how. They believed in me when I asked them to without hesitating. They didn't doubt or wonder, they just believed. Even though you can't see it. I have used the magic bestowed upon me by my father to summon a spirit I like to call a "Stand"..and I call this one "Devil May Shy"."

You point, lower your cap, and smirk as you look down as "Devil May Shy" drops the darts. "Y'know, I didn't even think this would work myself. But now that I know that it does. I'm going to use all it's p-"

"ANON YOU IDIOT, STOP MONOLOGUEING! IT'S ABOUT TO-NGGGH!" Chrysalis calls to you as suddenly everything is enveloped in a purple light. Flim And Flam had fed some of their magic through an amplifier that the robot used to power it's magic cannon. It fired straight at you.

Luckily for you, Chrysalis's call out was quick enough for "Devil May Shy" to react and knock the blast back at the robot. The blast was powerful, as dust and smoke picked up from the point of impact like a cloud, blanketing everything.

Sunset coughed as she tried to peer through the smoke cloud. "I can't see anything. Did Anon get it?"

"I think so! I really do!" Twilight lit up her horn to help her see. "I don't see any sign of the machine at all! Anon...You did it!"

....You did? You couldn't really see it. But hey, if Twilight said you did it. Hehehehe! That was easy as fuck. Yeah! Both you and your stand started to dance and flex in place. "Fuck yeah! That's how you do it! Uh huh! Uh huh! Uh huh! Finally kicked somethings ass for once! ohhhh yeah baby!"

But Gertrude's and Chrysalis's eyes were better suited for seeing through smoke.

"It can't be...IT'S NOT DEFEATED! IT'S USING ANOTHER ATTACK!" Gertrude calls out, it snaps you back to attention. But not fast enough to raise a defense, especially against something you couldn't see.

And when you finally could, it was too late, it went around and past your stand and came right at you. A gigantic drill attached to an arm coming out of the side latch of the machine. It drilled through the smoke, spreading it out as it came to obliterate you in one hit.

And then..it hit you.

Or..you thought it did. You instead get knocked to the side as you hear a familiar grunt, and then a thud on the floor. You looked over as the smoke cleared. Lying on the ground, one of her wings torn apart, and taking large breaths of airs, was Chrysalis, in her original form.

.....Chrysalis.... "Chrysalis! Chrysalis!" No way.......she risked her life. That couldn't be real. She..


You ran over to her, you could see the side of her exoskeleton slightly cracked where the drill hit. It didn't pierce, thank god, but it knocked her away. She was still conscious. "Chrysalis!..Chrysalis.." You shook her, you wanted her to respond, she wasn't responding. "Chrysalis!"

Then, she let out an annoyed weakened sigh "I can hear you...you don't need to say my name so many damn times..."

You gulped, you started to tear up...she was ok. You actually went in to hug her. "Chrysalis! You're ok!"

She winced in pain as she laid there. "Of course...I'm ok...you idiot. I wouldn't be on the ground...if you didn't dance around...like a buffoon."

Ok, that made you feel pretty guilty. She was right though. You forgot the ole "enemy behind the smoke" trope. "..I-I'm sorry..Chrysalis...I....I." You started to sniff and sob. You rested your head on her side and nuzzled. Dammit… "I really am sorry..."

Chrysalis said nothing at first. She laid there, thinking for a moment. "Four..."

What? "What? Four?"

"Yes....Four...that's four instances in which you owe me...your life. And since...I'd like to be alive to abuse that later...I'd suggest you turn around...and finish the job...n....nghh" Chrysalis winced again, and shifted just a little. "...and wake me when it's over...." And then she closed her eyes. At first it scared you, but she was still breathing. She wasn't bleeding. But her wing, that crack...

....Oh hell no… You turned around, tears in your eyes, as well as determination. The smoke clearing completely to reveal the machine once more, brandishing two drill arms. "Devil May Shy" Posed into a fighting position as you looked right at Flim and Flam.

"....For the honor of the queen....." You mutter under your breath...this one..would be for her.

You got ready, and growled "YOU'RE GOING DOWN YOU PIECES OF SHIT! BRING IT ON!"

The drill arms came down towards you, both of them this time. But, even with your fury, your determination, it wasn't enough. Upon realizing this, you had "Devil May Shy" block the drills. They were trying to pierce through his guard, Flim and Flam determined to drill right through your "Shield".

You were holding it, "Devil May Shy" held his arms up to block the ever pressing drills. And...it hurt. You could feel it on your forelegs. A twisting pain. You once again cast the spell too accuratly. Whatever pain the stand felt...you felt.... "G-Gnn...This is bad."

"Everypony! This is our opportunity! Attack! Do not falter!" Celestia calls out like a commander. Again, your friends resume their assault. But again, it wasn't working. It didn't work. And your attack wasn't working either. Even with this determination. There wasn't enough hope being fed into your stand.

"Look brother, so far, everything is working just fine, even with his "Stand" or whatever he calls it. It cannot stop our piercing anti magic drills!" Flim looked down upon you and your friends with an evil grin.

"Oh, I can see that. It'll be a shame to turn all of them into paste. But perhaps we could use that horn for ourselves once this is all over. Look at him, he can't hold it much longer. They all can't" Flam was just waiting. For what you did to him, he actually didn't mind the drill turning you into frappe.

You struggled the best you could, but you could feel "Devil May Shy's" Arms begin to shatter. "C-Chrysalis...I-I'm..s-sorr-"

"COME ON NONNY! YOU CAN DO IT! USE YOUR SPINACH MONSTER TO BEAT THAT CREEP!" That voice...Pinkie?

You looked over, Pinkie was outside the doors, Applejack was weak and awake, holding on to her side. "Come on Ya'll, you can do it!" Cheered Applejack.

"Momma Gertrude! Come on! Smash that monster! Like in the books you read us!" Pop Fly had walked out from behind Pinkie, he had bravely led the rest of the foals out. and as they watched. they began to cheer too.

"Go Big Green!"

"Is that..Princess Celestia! Go Celestia! You were my favorite princess ever! And still are!"

"Go Bacon Head!"

"Come on! You can do it! Please! I know you all can! You're like super heroes!"

As their cheers rained out. You could feel "Devil May Shy" get stronger, and start to push away the drills with his arms. And the foals around the factory, some were popping out of the entrance of the mine, they gazed upon the battle and started cheering all of you on. They all could see your stand.. And that meant… You could feel that surge in power...

You let the drills slide down to your stand's hands, and then gripped them. "Devil May Shy" gripped them so hard that his fingers went through the metals of the drill bits, and stopped them.

"What in the hay?! The drills! They stopped responding! What's going on?!" Flim was messing with the controls. But he couldn't get the drill arms to move forward or back.

"T-their....THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! THEY'VE BEEN PUNCTURED AND...AHHH!" Flam screamed out as the cockpit began to let out sparks the moment "Devil May Shy" crossed his arms, causing the drillarms to rip from their sockets. He then tossed them both to the side. As both you and him looked directly at Flim and Flam.

You pointed directly at them, giving them a serious look. "....You fucked with the wrong pony… You should have taken Celestia's mercy while you still had the chance."

You started to step closer to them as "Devil May Shy" cracked his knuckles then slipped on black gloves from out of nowhere, butterfly were indents on them.

"How are you doing this?! It's not possible!" Flim started to pull at every lever he could, but nothing was working.

"The eject button! It's not working!IT'S NOT WORKING!" Flam was panicking.

You just looked at them and smirked. "Something wrong, gentleponies?"

Flim started gulping, breathing hard, he was sweating like a pig. As was Flam. "W-wait. Hold on, y-you're the son of Discord. Right? This world is doomed, you know this, they know this. But you don't have to be destroyed along with it! We're making you the best deal you can be offered, Anon. J-join us! We could rule the next Equestria together. W-we won't even make the same mistake like this one!"

You were unamused by their offer. "Gimme a break. From con ponies to world conquerors. Whatever happened to make you guys this evil, I don't want any part of it. I'm gonna end it right here. Right now."

Flim and Flam were synced in panic now "BUT THE WORLD IS DOOMED! WHAT DO YOU GAIN FROM THIS! YOU'RE DOOMING EVERYPONY! EVEN YOURSELF! YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE! IF YOU DO THIS, THE WINDIGOS WILL BE UPON US IN JUST A FEW MONTHS."

"The only mistake I made was letting you get a cheap shot in on my friend. But how about this? I have a deal of my own. I promise to make sure not to hurt you too much....gotta leave what's left of you for my friend...y'know? Now then." "Devil May Shy" cocks his fists. "let's end this shitshow!"

"Devil May Shy" reared back his fists and then started releasing a powerful flurry of punches into the robot's center. Every punch tearing away and getting deeper into the robot.

"FLUTTAFLUTTAFLUTTAFLUTTAFLUTTAFLUTTAFLUTTAFLUTTAFLUTTA!" He yelled out with every punch. Flim and Flam were at their peak in panic. They couldn't form words. They could only watch as their robot began to get smashed into swiss cheese.

When your stand got to the core of the robot, there was floating...The alicorn amulet. Heh, of course they'd be using it to power their main robot. It explains why it was so powerful. "Devil May Shy" Rips the amulet right out of the core and tosses it away.

But you weren't done yet. "AND NOW!...THE FINALE!"

"FLUTTAFLUTTAFLUTTAFLUTTA" "Devil May Shy", after a few more punches, stretched it's right arm out horizontally, and karate chopped the robot in two. The top part containing Flim and Flam fell backwards onto the floor. "FLLLUUTTTTTAAAAAAAAAA!"

"HYAAAAAAA!" "Devil May Shy" ends it, uppercutting the bottom half of the robot right into the blue orb. The glass surrounding it shatters, blasting a blue light outwards as it snakes and weaves around the room and out of the castle like fireworks. It almost seemed never ending as the magic of the world began to go back into place, leaving behind nothing but stardust.

It was over...you straightened your hat as "Devil May Shy" made one more pose and then vanished. Of course, with that, your cool clothes vanished with it.

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