• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,516 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 18

Fluttershy looked at Discord, then you, then back at Discord, confused. "Did something happen?”

Discord shook his head "Oh heavens no, we merely forgot to shut the oven off back home, isn't that right Anon?"

You nodded "Yeah, that's it. Didn't want there to be a fire. I kinda like where I live."

Fluttershy nodded, with some worry in her disposition "Of course..Anon, speaking about where you live. Are you fine living there? It's not scary?"

You shook your head. Aside from Discord himself. You've been pretty safe as long as you were inside "It's fine. I have my own room and everything. The door is on the ceiling, and what's super cool is all I have to do is put my hoof up in mid air under it and suddenly theres invisible steps. It even does this neat gravity shifty thing. It's awesome!"

Fluttershy's worry fades as she is humored by your zeal. "I'm so glad to hear that Anon. Nothing seems to bother you. It's as if you already knew what to expect."

you chuckle nervously. Because you semi did. But as long as she never figured that out it should be fine."N-nah, I just trust in my dad. I know he'd never let me get hurt."

Fluttershy just couldn't stop grinning. "You and Discord make such a great and cute pair. You must be learning so much from each other to be able to trust in one another so well. It almost makes me want to cry..."

You and Discord look at each other. Not the words you'd describe the relationship. But things were getting better. You both give each other a wink of good will.

Fluttershy then gasped "..Oh no...I forgot! She turned and grabbed a large plate with her mouth. It had sandwiches on it.. "havme somfe samdmfiches". Her voice was muffled from holding the plate.

"Thank you Fluttershy...ahh yes, just the way I like them." Discord takes his and starts munching away "perfection"

You look at the plate. You then looked down at your hooves. Damn...

Fluttershy started to become concerned that you weren't taking any sandwiches. and holds the plate closer to you.

......only one way.

You plunge your face into the sandwiches and slam them into your mouth. creating two large bubbles of fur on either side of your cheek as you chewed profusely and swallowed.

Fluttershy put down the plate and was astonished by your act "I-I guess you were really hungry Anon..."

you had to take a breath from taking in such a huge load of food at once as you rubbed your adorable plump tummy, a little embarrassed that you had to do an uncouth act to eat a sandwich .
"You can say that...."
With the sandwiches gone, Fluttershy had wondered if she should make more.
"Did you both enjoy your sandwiches?...Do you need anymore?" Fluttershy asked.

"I do, but I can just do this if I so desire...in fact. I think I will do it." Discord reached into his mouth. Pulling one of his sandwiches from the reaches of his stomach. He then smashed the sandwich between his talons and paw. And when he pulled them away. The Sandwich had grown 20 times bigger. He then tossed it in mid air. and opened his mouth as it went smoothly down his throat.

you smiled. Seeing magical acts that are not only cool, but leave you intact. Was one of the many reasons you wanted to be here.

Fluttershy giggled, amused at the act. "That was amazing Discord!"

"Naturally, if it wasn't amazing then I'd have to call myself Norman" Discord took his bow.

With that done, Fluttershy then turned her attention towards you. "Speaking of learning, Anon...How do you feel about school?"

School...You hadn't really considered that at all. With your superior human intellect. It seems sort of stupid to have to go through it again.

"It's..umm..it's ok I guess. But I'm much too smart for that sort of thing....For a young colt such as myself to be held down by the shackles of education when I myself have both great intellect and a compendium of knowledge. Well...It's simply criminal if I do say so myself"

Fluttershy, was again, astonished. She didn't think any colt your age..or what she thought was your age...could have such linguistic skills. "..U-umm..I...umm" She didn't know how to reply to that.

Discord cleared his throat "Ahh but young master Anon, have you ever inquired to yourself that your compendium of knowledge may be rendered inert due to the elementary fact that said knowledge might not be as polished as you may think?"

You knew enough. You had five seasons of ponies under your belt.
"Well then father, if you wish. You may challenge my wisdom and knowledge at your own behest. I'm ready and willing."

Fluttershy just blinked. silent. She had no words.

Discord put on a professor's cap and put a pipe in his mouth. "Well then dear colt. Tell me, in the first battle between me and Princess Celestia and her sister. What spell did they use to try to vanquish me?" As Discord spoke, bubbles came out of his pipe.

You grin arrogantly

"Well dear father, it was obviously the spell that comes from the elements of harmony"

Discord starts to grin, as he removes his pipe and stares down at you "Are you sure about that?"

You nod. Starting to feel nervous.


"Anon...that was actually the final battle. Princess Celestia and Luna actually used a powerful imprisoning spell to send Discord to Tartarus. Or at least that’s what it says in the history books" Fluttershy interjected, as she patted your head "It was a good try though"

"Ahh, that was a lovely thirty second visit. Had I not been imprisoned for a thousand years I'd probably be able to find where I left some of the pictures I took." Discord added, giving you a smug look as he did.

Shit....First battle..first battle...there was nothing in the show about that.

You clear your throat, and look around, irritated with yourself.
"W-well, that bit of history is sort of advanced...even for one such as myself."

Discord had to hold in his laughter. He turned away as you could hear some titters coming from him.

Fluttershy raised her hoof however, in a matter of factly kind of way "Actually Anon.... that's something all colts and fillies learn at a young age. Usually with a field trip right where Discord used to be...as a statue of course."

fuck...FUCK..SHE'S RIGHT. Season 2 OPENER...GODDAMMIT. YOU NEED TO RECOVER.
"ahrm..ahm..ah..well, I guess I just sort of forgot. Quick, give me another, I'm ready this time!"

"Alright then, let's see...ahh yes. Tell me how changelings acquired the holes on their body," Discord tapped his pipe on his talon. as a bubble five times bigger than the pipe just "burped" out from it.

Ok..you started to feel your confidence return. You had more knowledge on pone than most Anons would. Or you thought you did. You knew you had enough to answer this one.
"Everypony knows it's from a battle with Princess Celestia, come on, way too easy"

Both Discord and Fluttershy quietly stare at you. Fluttershy with confusion, Discord with his signature grin.

"....uhm?...That was right, right?"

Fluttershy shook her head "They just naturally grow them, it's a sign of maturity for them Anon."

Discord gave you a demoralizing and patronizing pat on the head "What a silly thing to say Anon, I think you've been reading too many comics."

You could say nothing. Even with the knowledge you had. It wasn't enough.

Fluttershy gave you a sweet little hug to help you feel better "It's alright Anon...please don't feel ashamed or feel that you are dumb...you're not. You just didn't know those things...But if you go to school, then not only will you learn about those things..but other things too...doesn't that sound wonderful?"

She was hugging you....you felt such a motherly warmth from her. You couldn't even imagine what Pinkie hugs would feel like. You now she'd probably be more zealous. Either way, without fail, you feel yourself in a fuzzy trance. And yet, you couldn’t shake the feeling of failure.
"yeah...wonderful"

Fluttershy smiled as she squeezed you just a tad tighter "I'm so glad to hear that! I promise you'll enjoy yourself Anon. You’ll learn so many great things. And you'll be able to make so many friends."

You open your eyes wide......oh shit. Was there no avoiding school? You knew you knew enough. You had to have...right?

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