• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,514 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 35

The three of you make your way to the cottage from the hospital.
It feels a little weird not starting off from wherever Discord plops you off. But it wasn't unwelcome, with him busy. You could have a little "you" time and see how Equestria is without him fucking with you.

as you three walk through the town, you can hear a very familiar, very proper sounding, voice call for Fluttershy.
"Fluttershy, Darling, over here!"
It was Rarity, calling Fluttershy over, probably to talk...OH SHIT WAIT..IT'S RARITY! wait...why were you worried? You touched that dress like forever ago. She probably forgot about it.

"Oh, good morning Rarity." Fluttershy walked over to her beckoning friend "are you still looking for replacements for that dress some mysterious pony ruined?"

....ohhh.....guess she didn't forget...or at least Fluttershy didn't..

Rarity shook her head "Oh not today dear. Today I am roaming the streets of Ponyville. Doing my part in keeping these streets safe from those filthy degenerates that DARE sully our town's livelihood ."

Oh wow...that was pretty neat. You didn't think she'd take an active role in this whole thing. Still. Discord's ruse was getting out of hand. You hoped this would be settled...competently.

Fluttershy was amazed by Rarity's bravery "Wow Rarity, that's very brave and generous of you to use your time like this. I know how much that dress meant to you"

"Well Fluttershy, when barbaric vandals are about trying to foalnap helpless youths, then I, Rarity will not hesitate to step into the fray. Remember dear, I have a sister too...and I don't know what'd I'd do if I ever lost her."
She's pretty serious about this...wow.
"Speaking of family, I noticed you have little Applebloom and a colt I'm not familiar with."

Applebloom waved her hoof "Heya Rarity!"

Rarity waved back "Hello Applebloom" Rarity then looked to you "Fluttershy, who is this little gent....OH MY!"

...what...what?! why is she...OH SHIT. DOES SHE KNOW?!
You look left and right in a growing panic.
"U-umm..w-what?..i-is there something on my face?"

"Indeed there is! you poor dear!" Rarity moved close to you to examine your face, she was horrified. "What ruffian would do such harm to such a gentle looking colt?"

Gentle looking...ugh...did you look like a wimp? Cute yes. But a wimp?!
"Oh..you mean my black eye? It's alright. It doesn't hurt too bad, I got it when I fought off these two guys"
It really didn't hurt. It was just a black eye. yeesh, ponies overreact to every little thing.

"Two “guys?" “ Rarity only took a moment to figure it out, then she looked to Fluttershy "Fluttershy, is this the very colt who managed to fend off those villains and save his love's life? Anon I believe his name is."

you we- wait a minute..WAIT A MINUTE...LOVE?!
"Love?! what?!"

Even Applebloom reacted negatively upon hearing that "W-what?! Anon in love..with-....yuck..."

Rarity was confused by the reactions "What? I happen to think it's romantic and amazing. A young colt, reinvigorated with bravery upon hearing the cries of his young love. He manages to fight off two horrific monsters. Though it may seem like certain doom, the young colt achieves victory and fights off the villains. He takes his princess back from those heathens and returns to the castle, where he and his lo-"

Suddenly Fluttershy clears her throat "Ahhrmm ahhrmmm...umm...R-rarity, I don't think that's appropriate for them to hear"

Rarity blushes in embarrassment "Ah right, yes, my apologies. I suppose I got a little carried away. But it is an amazing story" Rarity looks to you "How in Equestria did you manage to fight them off?"

"...oh-...uhhh..I uhh..I kicked one of them in their uhh...lower regions..and uhh..I hit the other guy as hard as I could."
That was the truth.

Rarity seems unsure of what to think of that "well...I umm..I suppose that still makes for a valiant story. And yet, there is still the matter of the damage they caused"
Rarity looks directly at your black eye "I cannot let this blemish on your face persist. I know it will eventually go away on it's own. But for the sake of appearances, I will work my magic to make it disappear"
As Rarity said that, you noticed she had saddlebags at her right side. Her horn began to glow as various instruments of fashion and beauty began to fly out.

...oh...you get it. ha, she's just going to mask it up. And here you thought you'd have to be worried. Again, superior human logic dictates not to worry about this. She’s a professional.
"You're going to mask it up?"

Rarity nodded "Indeed, what a smart little gentecolt you are. You know, most colts would find this very frightening."

You chuckle lightly
"I dunno why, they probably just think it's all girly and get overwhelmed by all those little brushes and polishes."

Rarity smiles at you, she likes the way you speak "How true!" Rarity chuckles as she looks over what she brought out "and perceptive"

You smirk
"I guess you can just say that I look at the world a little more realistically. I like to think I have the mind of an adult"

"Ahhh, you don't want to think like that too much Anon, before you know it you will grow up and wish you were young again" Rarity chuckled

HAHa...ha...except your wish came true...sorta

Rarity brings a few items towards your eye and shifts her view for precise aim. "I need you to hold still now Anon. Eyes closed please"

You do, it was an easy enough instruction. You had nothing to fear.

Rarity immediately and carefully started putting on various blemish covering creams and soft brushes around your injured eye. Every stroke deliberate. It didn't feel half bad. Rarity was an expert. You didn't even feel a single sting of pain.
"And viola! it is done!" Rarity states as she steps backwards to show off your face

you couldn't see yourself, so you turn to Fluttershy and Applebloom
"How do I look?"

"Woah! Wow! it looks like nopony laid a single hoof on ya Anon! Ya look like a million bits!" Applebloom was impressed

"Wow Rarity, it's perfect. It's as if it was never there" Commented Fluttershy

Rarity giggled "Well of course, No matter where I am or who it is. I always do the best possible makeover" She magically pulled out a mirror and hovered it over to you "Have a look Anon, and tell me what you think"

Upon looking at the mirror, you couldn't help but feel amazed at her work. It's as if it was never there. It blended perfectly with your fur. These cartoon horses man...you don't think any human could have done this well.....maybe.

"Aunt Fluttershy was right. Thanks Rarity...that's really nice of you to do this for me"
You were genuinely thankful. She didn't have to do this.

"My pleasure Anon. And looking at you now, I can tell you are going to break many a filly's heart.Tell me, you aren't going after Applebloom are you?"


you are taken aback, you didn't expect her to even suggest such a thing.

Applebloom is taken aback as well, Her and you? You both didn't even fully know each other that well. "NOPE! ME AND ANON ARE JUST FRIENDS! AH DON'T FIND HIM CUTE OR NOTHIN!" She starts to noticeable blush..just a little

Rarity giggles from both your reactions "Oh no? Applebloom, you are aware you’re blushing, don't you?"

"I AM?!" Applebloom starts to touch her face with her hooves, surprised with herself "T-THAT DON'T MEAN NOTHING!"

Fluttershy starts to join in on Rarity's laughter, she was finding this humorous as well.

You notice Applebloom's blushing...oh god....god..please let it mean nothing. You can't be doing with this, you didn't want any of the ponies thinking it'd even be cute to try to bring you two close! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ALSO MAY HAVE TO DEAL WITH FUCKING DIAMOND TIARA!
You turn to Rarity.

Fluttershy immediately stops laughing, finding that super surprising "...oh my..."

Applebloom doesn't say anything at all

oh god...you just realized that you just spilled all your spaghetti
What was wrong with you?! You completely embarrassed yourself enough to duck your head down in shame. hiding it between your legs..
"....I-I didn't mean that...I-I just got caught up..and embarrassed..I-I"

"Oh Anon" You feel Rarity gently pet you along your back. "I apologize, I didn't mean to embarrass you like that. I only was having a spot of fun to ease the tension caused by recent going ons...We know you don't have a crush on anypony. You just did get here after all"

.....crisis averted, you were about to cry too...geez.
You look up, revealing your teary eyes to Rarity. Real tears, did you feel like you really goofed up that badly? That was random.
"I-it's ok Rarity...I shouldn't have taken it so seriously.."
Something was definitely amiss with you. Being younger must have regressed something like inhibitions and such. You had to ask Discord to know for sure...

"Well...if it makes you feel better Anon. If you were a little older. I wouldn't mind taking you out on a date to make up for making you feel this way...who knows, you might be able to sweep me off my hooves." Rarity gave you a small pat on the head "I know you'll make a lucky filly one day very happy. Knowing how you bravely stood up to those thugs and protected your friend. That's a quality not many ponies have. It is something to be proud of Anon."

Oh geez..that for some reason makes you blush and at the same time feel sorry for poor Spike. Your first meeting with Rarity and you already got a hypothetical date. Poor guy. Still, her words were also kind. But you knew you didn't deserve them.
"Thank you..umm..Miss Rarity.."

Rarity nodded "you're welcome." Rarity turned to Fluttershy "Fluttershy, I simply must know the family who adopted this colt. I want to offer them all a free customized set of clothes for Anon, it's the least I can do for the little hero. Especially after I embarrassed him so"

Applebloom says something first. "Ahm, Rarity, ah don't think it's somethin' you wanna hear in public, just sayin'."

"Hmm? Nonsense, why wouldn't I?" Rarity exclaimed

"Well ummm.....Rarity..I think Applebloom might have a point. You know how you tend to be dramatic." Fluttershy said in a soft spoken voice.

"Come now, what could be so surprising about Anon's adopting family that would cause me to act dramatically? Just tell me, I promise It'll be just fine." Rarity stood at the ready

"Well...alright...but...he only has a father...you see...umm...And I don't think you should react too much to this....because he's been doing so much better..but...ummm....It's.....Discord"

Rarity started giggling "Hahahaahaha, oh Fluttershy, surely you jest! I didn't know you were such a comedian"

"ahm...Miss Rarity. Fluttershy is right, Anon's dad is Discord" Applebloom added

"....." Rarity suddenly goes dead silent. Her eyes wide and full of horrid dread

"N-now Rarity...y-you promised..." Fluttershy reminded her

"Y-you're right...ahrm..umm..well it was a pleasure to meet you..A-anon..But I think I need to go back to my boutique...for...things..p-pardon me" Rarity excused herself, it looked like she wanted to burst. She actually had to run back to boutique to have some sort of dramatic fit that she didn’t want the public to see, or perhaps she didn't want to visibly break her promise. Either way, it looked like she wanted to go nuclear.

"Oh my...I hope she'll be alright" Fluttershy said worryingly as Rarity wandered off.

"Yeah...umm..Anon, ya heard that ah said AHM NOT interested in ya right?" Applebloom looked at you with a serious look, with a slight blush

You nod
"Y-yeah, same here."

Fluttershy was finding the whole situation odd "Umm..maybe we should get back to the cottage. I'll...umm...I'll make us all some hay pancakes. That should...ummm..lighten...the mood..."

And with that. You three went off once more. What a bizarre encounter.

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