• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,464 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 39

Right, you nearly forgotten Discord actually didn't get a chance to show that off. Before Fluttershy could walk up to take a look at it. Rainbow Dash snatches it out of his talons to take a personal look "Woah, woah woah. Hold on. This I gotta see for myself"

"I don't mind. As you can see, me and Anon managed to answer every question and performed adequately enough to make this whole arrangement official." Discord smiled, as he tapped the papers in Rainbow Dash's hooves and rips out… a copy of it. As if the papers had a soul. He then hands it to Fluttershy "And before anypony says anything, I'm sure you can read Spike's handwriting, he did write down everything Twilight told him."

You nodded in agreeance. "Yeah I was there, Dad definitely got the ok."

"...Wow… If Twilight even says it's ok… huh. And here I thought that this could have maybe been some sort of ploy or something." Rainbow Dash tapped at the paper, and peered closely at the handwriting. It was legit.

"Well, I didn't think that at all. I had faith that Twilight would see that you were a good father. I'm very very glad for the both of you. It would have been very heartbreaking if you both couldn't be together." Fluttershy said, overjoyed with the results

"Oh indeed." Discord rushes up to you and snatches you up and gives you a big ole hug "I don't know what'd I'd do without my little Anon here. He's the apple in my eye, you know." As Discord says that, he pulls an actual apple out of his eye and takes a bite. "Well, not this apple of course… anypony want a bite?"

Fluttershy nor Rainbow Dash saw the apple as too appetizing. You just hugged Discord, half hearted… it wasn't the same… it wasn't like Fluttershy. The full love she was capable of wasn't something Discord was capable of.
Then you realized, with the situation taken care of, you could probably go out and about Ponyville on your own. You look up to Discord's face.
"Hey Dad, now that you got those two guys. You think I can go out… and uhh… explore?"

"Explore? Ohhh yes… you mean explore your new home of Ponyville, yes yes of course. What kind of father would I be if I said no? Hmm??" Discord put you down.

"Exploring? Already? But you got out of the hospital just this morning… Discord, are you sure it's ok for him to just go out unsupervised?" Fluttershy was still worrisome of your condition.

"Of course it is! Fluttershy, if I baby him on every little boo boo then he will be a reclusive, bitter, cowardly being who would probably wear something such as a fedora in a unstylish manner… I could imagine Rarity having a fit now..." Discord snickered. You couldn't tell if that was a human world jab or if he was being serious… could even be both.

Rainbow Dash nodded reluctantly "I.....really hate to say it...But I gotta agree with Discord on this one. Kid has to be able to go out and play."

Fluttershy looked down, she was so unsure about it. she tapped her hoof once on the ground gently "..I-I… guess it's ok then… But..." Fluttershy looked to you "Anon, if you want to come back at anytime. My door is always open. ok?"

You nodded. "Thanks Aunt Fluttershy. Don't worry, I'll be ok!"

Finally! FINALLY! you were going to be able to go out on your own goddamn time. Fucking YESSSSSSSS.

"Anon, before you get going. I'd like a private word with you. Nothing major, just the usual father son chat. You understand." Discord said as he peeled the Wonderbolt costume like a banana peel and flung it in the air as it vanished in thin air.

You nodded, you knew however. it was anything but usual. "Ok...but can I say bye to Aunt Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash first?"

Discord nodded "Of course you can. It'd be rude not to."

You walked up to Fluttershy and gave her a big hug. Nuzzling your head under hers. "Thanks for taking care of me Aunt Fluttershy, you take care ok?"

Fluttershy nuzzled into you, probably more than she should, but… she was growing a maternal instinct towards you."I will… Anon… please please please please be careful ok? It can get pretty scary out there sometimes."

"I'll be careful, I promise." You give her another quick hug and turn towards Rainbow Dash. As Fluttershy goes over to whisper something to Discord.

"Seeya Rainbow Dash, don't forget what you promised" She wasn't all that bad, now that you got to see her just a little more.

Rainbow Dash smirked at you "You just better not chicken out when when I take you up high, got it? Heroes… don't… chicken... out"

You nod, how bad could it be? "I won't… I think you'll be surprised on how brave I can actually be"

"Hehehe, we'll see about that. Just catch me next time I'm free, got it?"

"Yeah, got it."

With goodbyes done, Discord says his own goodbyes in a grandiose way before teleporting with you to a black void. and yet, despite it being black, you could see yourself and Discord as visible as being under a light. You look up at Discord, wondering what he wanted to speak about with you. You were expecting another bout of hi-jinx, but you were ready this time. "So, what's up?"

"Oh, nothing in particular. Just wanted to give you an update on a few things to keep things as consistent as possible."


"Like what?"

"Well, first. Your punishment is officially over. without any chance of it reoccurring unless you somehow screw up. Annnnddd.....let's see."

Discord makes a small notepad appear and peers through it. "You'll be going to school in a couple of days, now I'm not forcing you, but I'd suggest securing what they call a "Clique". "

Oh, well..you were already part of one. "Already got it done, I am a Cutie Mark Crusader after all"

"Ahhh yes… right… hrnn… Well, I'm sure it'd help you a little more if you made a few extra friends or acquaintances before school starts for you. It'd make integrating even easier."

It seems Discord was actually caring about your well being… that was odd… huh… "That actually matters to you?"

Discord shook his head. "Not particularly no, but it does to Fluttershy. It seems she's quite taken with you and this whole family business and just asked me to help you along with making some extra friends… Of course I don't need to actually do that. Given you've wanted to come here so badly, I can only assume this is something you could do on your own."

Yeah, you could. You didn't need your hand held… dammit Fluttershy, you grew a deep care for her. But you didn't need your hand… hoof held the whole way. "Yup, I have my own plans. I still gotta stretch my new legs, ya know? all four of em."

"True true, just remember your place. You are, by official documents, my son after all. Now… let's see. Ahh yes, your sexual tendencies, now that you are going to be a free range colt I have to make sure you don't go… ahh such a vulgar word… raping anything. most of your posts on this website just have an arrow with the word "rape" marked in green. Ohhh, such a word even gives me some quivers"

...he can see your posts? Goddammit, this fucking guy. snooping in on your old life… and what did he mean by that anyway? "...umm..you know that was just a running gag right? I wouldn't actually go around raping anypony."

Discord poofed away the notepad and looked at you with a stare of authority "Oh I know you wouldn't. I know I don't have to worry about it at all. What you do with your urges is no concern of mine… But if it does happen to BE a concern of mine because I have to hear a complaint… well..." Discord chuckles as a pair of scissors appears beside him "Snip snip"

You gulp....that had to be the scariest thing he's done to you so far. "Y-you don't have to worry, t-trust me. I can control myself… But say… uhhh… let's say a mare… takes advantage of me and… erm… you know… that wouldn't warrant a… "Snip Snip"... would it?... Just asking, just want to be clear."

Discord could smell the sweat on you. "Well, I suppose in that case it'd be alright. Though, good luck on that… let's see… what do they call it...." Discord pops up a book and thumbs through it "Ahhh, here we are! Statutory… hmmm...Well, I suppose… hmmm.." He closes the book, making it disappear. "If it happens, it happens I suppose. It most likely won't since ponies are much much less deviant than any human. The worst that would happen is them going to prison and you'd have to go through counseling… at least ten years worth"

In other words, a big no… or a yes with a huge consequence attached. "You're a real buzzkill Discord, you know that?"

Discord rolled his eyes "Don't give me that, I'm just making sure you don't get into any huge trouble. Ponies are much less degenerate in behavior than any average human. If you could find a way without anypony finding out then good on you. But I doubt you'd get such an opportunity"

"So what you're saying is, you don't care as long as I don't get caught"

"Yes, exactly. But as I said. You'll probably never get the chance at your current age. I would do what everypony else does and wait until AFTER you have married the mare of your dreams… Actually I wouldn't do that at all, commitment is like poison to me, much too orderly for my taste."

You sigh, that was the best you were gonna get from him. It's not like you were going to go rape ponies or anything like that… maybe try to get a peepee touch. Or, something… ugh… fine, whatever. But if the opportunity comes up, you're fucking taking it… maybe. "Ok ok… mmnn, anything else?"

Discord shook his head. "Nope" Discord snapped his talons, your saddlebag appears beside you "Here's your bag with the map and a good amount of bits for you to enjoy the day. Don't spend it all in one place Anon." Discord then remembered something "...Ahh yes,almost slipped my mind... If you want to come home on your own. You can simply plunge the map into water, and it will open a wormhole to your room. Simple, isn't it?"

Was it? "Huh? That… sounds pretty simple… So I can just put it in any body of water?"

Discord nods "Yes, but I'd make sure you could fit in whatever you put the map in. wouldn't want to get stuck between dimensions now because you tried to jump into a cup, would we?"

..Nope… but, that is pretty convenient. "Nope...hmm..thanks Discord, I don't know if you actually care or not. But thanks."

You really did have to thank him, theres others you know who would kill you to take your place.

"...hmm.." Discord just murmurs something as he snaps his talons one last time.

In a flash, you found yourself outside town hall. With Discord nowhere in sight. You look up at the sun. it had to be the afternoon. Plenty of time to do your own thing. looking at the sun also brings up a thought… one day you had to ask about the sun and moon… the moon… Luna… geez, you also have to ask Discord about her in specific. Since Luna goes into pony's dreams, you couldn't help but think she'd get curious seeing a new dreamscape she's never seen around before. You were lucky enough she hadn't done so already. But… that'd have to wait… time to have fun.

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