• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 70

Some time passes, not enough for the whole day.Though, not like you could tell in this dimension.

You slowly wake up, feeling well rested, woo… a nap can do wonders. Your body has recovered from DT falling on you. "Woo… what a nap… what time is it, wait, WHAT TIME IS IT?!"

You didn't know how much time had passed, and you just remembered Diamond Tiara was sleeping on your bed with you. Oohhh shit. Was she still there…? she had to be. Even if she was awake. She'd have no idea how to leave.

You lean up and look at the foot of the bed. You could see her mane and tiara. She was still napping… ohh boy. You hoped it wasn't night… or the next day...

"Diamond?... psst… Diamond" You gently call to her to not startle her from her sleep. But she laid there, unmoving. You reach with your back hoof and give her a few taps. "Diamond Tiara… psst… wake up… I think we may have overslept"

As you tapped, you could feel rougher fur than usual. Her coat felt tougher. Diamond Tiara shivered a little, and began to turn.


She turned… and her face… that wasn't... GODDAMMIT! Discord, with tiara and DT's mane flips over, looking at you with soft, awaking eyes "ahhh...mnn..Good afternoon sweetie pie, have a good nap?"

You move back a little, startled by the sight, then cringe as you look off the side of the bed. The rest of discord's body hanging down from it. "Geez Discord! The hell! Why do you always do crap like this!? Every time I think I have you figured out… sheesh.."

"Oh lighten up Anon, I'd think you would have liked a cutie such as myself sleeping on your bed with you. Now I just feel insulted, hmph" Discord crosses his arms, and sticks his tongue out at you.

Cutie...wait..OH SHIT! You stand up and look around, even hanging to the side to look under your bed. "Diamond Tiara… oh shit. Where is she?! What did you do with her?! Shit Discord… please tell me you weren't her the whole time!"

Discord shook his head "Of course I wasn't, do you know how creepy that sounds? Wooo, just gives me the willies"

"Then where is she? She was sleeping on the end of the bed." Shit, did she try to explore the house? Did the house eat her?! Crap, you shouldn't have taken that fucking nap, You were really panicking here.

"Relax Anon… I sent her home."

What? You look at Discord, confused "You...sent her home?"

Discord nodded "Yes, What else was I supposed to do? She woke up and happened upon me. We had a small chat and then I sent her home. Poor thing, barely got any sleep."

Uh… huh… You narrow your eyes at Discord, not fully trusting him. "And that's the truth?"

"Yes Anon, it's the truth. I swear to Fluttershy. Surely that's good enough for you."

You take a breath, but you were still skeptical. What the hell could they have talked about? You couldn't think of any of the ponies sans some of the mane 6 having a chat with Discord.

"What did you two talk about?"

Discord gasped in shock, and put his taloned fingers to his chest "Anon! How rude. Do you really expect me to share the secrets of fair young filly with you? How awful of you to even ask such a question. I thought I raised you better than that."

"Don't fuck with me Discord. Not with this." You were determined to know either the truth, or what they talked about. Or both. This was another life he was possibly toying with.

No, the truth was that you finally let yourself into what you have become. A colt. And… you had fun. Hanging with Diamond Tiara wasn't actually painful. Hanging with the CMC is admittingly fun. Just, having a life in Equestria was fun. And you were finally fully embracing it. And then, this happens.

Discord snickered and started floating upwards, resting his head on his arms. "I'm doing nothing of the sort. She really DID swear me to secrecy. I'm not about to break my word just because you're a little snoop"

You cock your eyebrow at him. "When did you care about being honorable?"

"When it suits me. Sorry Anon, but you aren't going to get anything out of me."

Fine... "You're a real trip Discord, fine, if I know my stuff though. It had to be something about me… god, I hope it wasn't marriage plans."

You get up and walk over to the portal door and open it to see the time of day. The sun was already coming down. and the sky was turning red. "That should be enough time"

"Yes, it should be." Discord said to you…

Wait, did he know what you were going to do?

You turn around to face him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, Anon. You were supposed to come back to the cottage after school to tell me and Fluttershy how your first day of school went. Instead you made her worried. And then when I go looking for you, what do I find. But a filly on your bed."

You cringe… oh please, pleaseeeeee.."And… you didn't tell her about that, did you?"

Discord chuckles "Of course I did. I wasn't going to lie to my best and dearest friend about your whereabouts. She was already worried enough."

Oh… come on… You already had enough on your plate… "And… what did she say?"

Discord inches towards you, and lowers his head to meet your eyes "Well, you're going to find out… aren't you? Because I won't let you come back until you inform Fluttershy of your day… understand?"

Seriously?... You look upon those hellish colored eyes of his. He was serious. Dead serious. "Alright, I'll make sure to stop by the cottage when I'm done with my thing." You start packing up your saddle bag with the essentials.

"And what "Thing" can be more important than telling Fluttershy about your day?"

Heh, he didn't know you were going to see Applebloom to have a chat with her. Since now was any good a time as any… hopefully she was still at the clubhouse.

"It's a secret"

Discord as insulted by such a remark "A secret? Anon, you can't just do that. I'm your father, you're not allowed to keep secrets from me."

You open the portal door and look back at him with a joyous smile. "As long as I see Fluttershy then it shouldn't matter to you. I gotta thank you Discord, I'm finally getting this whole horse life thing. Seeya later!"

You gave him a wave as you passed through the portal. "Anon Wa-" Discord is unable to finish as the portal door shuts behind you, as you stand near City Hall.

"Ha, that felt pretty good. If he can have his secret than I can have mine. I bet he's stew… oh, come on."

As you turn ahead, Discord was standing right in front of you. "What, did you think this was like one of those animes of yours where you can befuddle somepony and walk into the serene, calming plains with a big goofy smile on your face?"

"Yeah almost… I forgot you could just teleport for a moment there… Ugh..."

Discord looked at you with a hard stare, looking disappointed "Anon, Anon. I'm not just some cartoon character that you can toy with. I'm Discord, Spirit of Chaos!... You'll have to do much better than that. Now… are you going to tell me what you are going to do?"

You shake your head. "I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours, otherwise. I got something important to do."

"Are you aware that I can just follow you and find out what you are up to?"

You nod. "I do… Discord, look. Can we have a civil conversation right now please? I don't want to lose any time. And I'm sure you want me to go see Fluttershy before nightfall, right?"

Discord lands on the ground, and stops to think before answering "I do..."

"Then let me do this. Let me try to have this life of a colt that you have given me. And I promise to go see Fluttershy. I really meant it when I said I was thankful Discord. And unless we're gonna spill some secrets. Then I really gotta go..."

Discord rubbed his chin, he was considering and looking into your words within his mind. "Hmm… no… I think I'll keep my secret. Since you seem so inclined in finally embracing being a pony. I might as well keep things interesting for you. As for your secret. Keep it. I'm sure it wasn't very interesting anyway."

You almost chuckle. He was still interested. And so were you in his. But if it was going to be a stalemate. So be it. It shouldn't be that hard to figure out some kid's chat anyway. "Alright then. I'll see you when I get back."

"I'll have dinner ready… Oh, and one last thing before you go Anon."


"I commend you on the stalemate. But the next time we have one of our little arguments. I expect you to put a little more effort into winning. Sometimes it's better to just take what you want instead of being crushed by the weight of defeat."

What? "You actually want me to argue better? So you're not actually pissed or anything?"

"Oh, just a little. But I have to test you every so often. I sometimes worry about your ability to handle a situation if you ever ran into somepony who was… less than friendly."

"Discord… come on, I didn't really want to argue in the first place. If I wanted to, I could be a pretty huge dick… I don't think your advice is very sound."

"Take it as you will. But Equestria isn't all sunshine and rainbows Anon. And if something were to ever happen to you and I couldn't do anything about it. I would hope you could fend for yourself."

Wait, huh? "Wait… so… you're actually worried about me?"

Discord scoffs at the thought "Don't get ahead of yourself Anon, I just think you are getting more and more reckless as time goes on. If you screwed up and found yourself in danger. I would have to hope you could get out of it on your own. Because if something did happen to you..."

"Then it'd look bad on you, yeah, I figured."

Discord shifted his eyes left and right, as if that wasn't the actual truth "Right yes, in anycase, hurry off to whatever you are going to do. I'll be at home waiting."

And with that, you rush off to the clubhouse. With Fluttershy on your mind. Shit, Discord was still hard to guess.

Ugh, the clubhouse was still quite the distance. You really REALLY hope Applebloom was there. You just had to get the other two to leave somehow so you could have your private chat.

Eventually, you reach the clubhouse. Ugh… you'd never be able to get to the cottage if this took too long, Though, you could still use the map and just use the portal door.

You climb up the rising boardwalk to the clubhouse and look through the window. Holy shit, what luck. It was just Applebloom in there. But she looked awfully down.

No, you couldn't just step in. You had to have a plan. You didn't want to crush her. Just let her down easy without ruining your friendship with her… or her getting mad at Diamond Tiara. You felt a tad ashamed. But you had leaned towards DT as a possible… special somepony. You knew her more, you were more involved with her, and, you just grew to like her more. It's not like you hated Applebloom. She's a sweet girl. But she's stubborn as hell, and she would just be better as a friend. Her,Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were a team right down to the damn Cutie Mark. And you didn't want to ruin that too by being a bigger part of her life… also, what would Applejack say?

You took deep breaths. If she asked about Diamond Tiara… you would just have to be honest. You really were done being evasive or uptight about things… certain things anyway.

Fuck this was actually hard. You were about to tell this girl to cut her shit out. But, you had to. And hopefully, whatever crush she had didn't get any deeper than it seemed so far. Ok… here we go. You knock on the door.

"Scootaloo...Sweetie Belle? Is that you? Ah thought you two had to go home" Applebloom came to the door as you stood at the ready. Stay focused Anon, don't puss out. No matter how badly it hurts either you or her. This is for the best.

"Girls?" Applebloom slowly opens the door and peers at the other side. Only to see you instead

"A-Anon?..ah thought you weren't comin' today...W-what are ya doin here?"

You took a breath… here we go. You tried to make the least threatening face you could make. One that was soft, kind… reassuring..

"..I came to talk to you Applebloom"

Applebloom stepped to the side to let you in "Ya did? But, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo ain't here."

You nod as you step inside. "I know, I came to speak to just you… alone."

Applebloom started to blush "Alone?"

You sit at a seat that was just laying there in the middle of the room. You were a little tired from running. "Yeah..."

Nmm, she was already getting the wrong idea.

"W-what is it Anon? Is it about yer Cutie Mark?" Applebloom asked as she pulled up a chair in front of you, and sat down. She brushed her mane back with her hoof once… probably to get your "attention"

You shake your head. "No, Applebloom. I have a really important question to ask."

"W-what...What is it?"

"Do you like me?"

She blushed red deep, yup, that confirmed it. "Like ya? Y-yeah, as a friend ah course."

You shake your head "No… I mean, do you like me… like I was your special somepony"

Applebloom was now as red as her namesake as she looked away "........"

Fuck… Just do it Anon, make it easier on yourself. "I'm sorry Applebloom. But I don't feel the same way"

Applebloom flinched. She turns to you and you can already tell from her face she was heartbroken. But she put on a toughened look "Ah, never said ah felt that way… Yer my friend Anon. Ah don't know what yer gettin' at with this special somepony stuff..."

It hurt your heart to see her lie like that. But, so far,so good. "Ok… I'm glad we had this talk then. I'll seeya tomorrow"

Time to go, talk is done. But before you can get up, Applebloom let's out a "Wait!"

Mmnnn "Yeah?"

"Ah don't really ah..." She was hesitating "wanna pry but… ya don't have a special somepony… do ya?"

Could you consider DT your special somepony? No, it wasn't that far… not to you, but it could be getting there… How to answer this? How to be delicate...

"Well, um. I'm just keeping my options open a little right now."

"There's that there fancy talk you use. Can't ya just say yes or no?" Applebloom just wanted a clear answer.

If you say no, she'll just keep looking upon you and Diamond Tiara… and you don't know what that'd bring. If you said yes… no… better just go with maybe… that's the truth of it. As far as you knew. "I… might."

"It's Diamond Tiara, right?" Applebloom was doing her best not to look like she was about to be the saddest horse in the world.

You slowly nod. "Yeah..."

Applebloom gave a squeaky "Ok… ah..hope that goes ok.."

She was devastated. She started speaking in a low voice "...but ya promised."

What did she say? "Applebloom… did… did you say something?"

She shook her head "N-no..but ...ya still coming tomorrow right?"

Yeah… she was still your friend. You nod "Yeah, I'll be here. Don't worry about that."

"Then, ah… ah'll seeya tomorrow. Unless… there's anything more ya wanna talk about."

You may have not heard her. But the promise she spoke about was the one you made when you were punished and said you wouldn't go to Diamond's side no matter what. At this point it was petty, but she wasn't actually willing to let you go. Not just yet. Applebloom had grown a crush on you due to your actions. When you first reacted to DT and SS in your scary fashion. She didn't like it… but upon hearing of your "heroic" deed and even seeing you come out of the hospital like it was no big deal. It made her think you were a tough, brave colt. Tougher and braver than any colt she had ever met. Even braver than stallions. Until someone spilled the beans, she would continue to think that.

"No, that's all… though I am wondering. Why aren't you at home? I don't see the others."

"Ah… just wanted to be alone to think. Ya know, somepony gotta be here to plan for everything when it comes to cutie marks"

You couldn't call her simple minded. She was lying to you. For now, you'd just accept it. A part of you wished that Diamond Tiara didn't get a redemption. She would have been easier to put down if she was still a prick and Applebloom would have been the clear choice. But, Diamond Tiara was doing her best in every aspect, and she had it pretty rough herself. Unless deep down she was still a dick. You felt you couldn't just blow her off for another girl. You had no idea how to handle two girls after you, so you had to make a choice. And you hoped you picked the right one.

"Ok then, I've got to get going. My dad wants me to do something and he's not gonna be happy if I don't do it. Thanks for your time Applebloom."

Applebloom tries to put on a smile the best she can, and tries to sound chipper "Well ya.. ya better get goin' then. Don't want Discord tanning yer hide"

You get up and walk away, waving goodbye to Applebloom. She just sits there and waves back, she was despondent. She was hurt… But no matter what you did. It was either her or DT. One would be hurt either way. But at least Applebloom had better friends to help keep her spirits up. There was always that.

You turn away from her as you leave and close the door. How miserable. And you still had to see Fluttershy, and you just weren't in the mood for it. Maybe you should have gone to see her first.

You avoided looking through the window, and just walked down the boardwalk. You decided not to teleport home. You'd just walk there and try to clear your head. There shouldn't really be a time limit as long as Fluttershy hadn't gone to bed by the time you got there. There was still time. You just wish you knew what was going on in Applebloom's head. You had the horn… but… still… until you had practice with it. It was almost as if you'd never find a chance to actually use the damn thing and find out what it can really do.

It'll be fine. Hopefully Fluttershy's presence can help cheer you up.

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