• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 303

Author's Note:

Twilight asks some questions
Anon wants to sleep.
And head rubs are a thing.

You and Twilight return to the train once the meeting was over. Cadance did her best to console her, but it didn't help. Thorax seemed eager to be a friend to you, but you didn't really feel like talking too much. But you made sure not to make him feel bad over it.

There wasn't much said during the walk to the train. When you both entered, you both just went to your seats and looked at each other with defeated faces.

"Anon, can I ask you a question?" Twilight finally says something, her question forlorn.


"How do you do this? You've kept this secret from everypony without it looking like you were bothered by it at all. No tell tale signs of trickery. Nothing. I know it's important, but it feels so wrong." Twilight has never had to protect someone she hated before. She found the entire thing insane.

You sigh. "I know, I know it does. It hurts whenever I lie to Aunt Fluttershy, to you, to anypony really. I don't want to lie. I want the lie to be truth. But, ugh, Celestia is right. All I've really succeeded at is making Chrysalis my friend. And that's not good when she doesn't want to be friends with anypony else."

"And that’s what gets me the most. Is that fact you're friends with her. How? She HATES ponies. Are you sure she's really your friend? I'm having a hard time believing that any changeling can be good, even after meeting Thorax. So, her being your friend? it doesn't seem like something she'd really allow."

You know the perfect moment to counter that, probably one of the few that gives you legitimate claim to protect her. "She saved my life. I know I said it before, but let me give you some context. She saved my life from her traitorous excaptain, the one before Scrappy, using my horn. She could have used my horn to escape. In fact, she lied to me saying she couldn't because of my Dad. But she could have, she had no reason to save me other than our friendship."

Twilight was already riveted by your story. That sounded crazy. That all happened? She had so many questions, her eyes practically lit up as she prepared herself to ask them, nearly forgetting her own depression as she did. "What?! She could have? But wait? A traitorous captain? He attacked you? A-anon, wait. What even goes on inside that house?! Your father allows all this?! You're just a...a...ugh" Twilight slumps forward and looks down, giving up. "Never mind, I don't even know why I'm surprised"

You reach over and start patting Twilight's head, having to stand on your seat to reach. You even try smiling, maybe that'd help. "Twilight, my life is a chaotic pot of everything. It's my cutie mark, my destiny. I fully accept it with the dangers and the perks that come with it. My Dad cares about me a lot. Trust me, he really does. He just doesn't really know how to act normal. Neither do I. But I think he's a good dad. Without him, I don't think I'd be here at all, I think. And without him, I'd never have met all my friends, and that includes Chrysalis. She cares about me in her own way. We've had a lot of laughs together, and I know I'm trying to reform her, but I also want to protect her. Like everypony else in my life, she's a friend worth protecting. Please understand, that's why this entire plan bothers me in the first place. It's a lot of lying. We both have to lie. But I'm going to lose a good friend at the end of all this. I know you hate her, but I don't. That's how it is."

Twilight raised her head slowly, and looked at you. Confused about how to feel. There's so much she didn't know, so much she learned, and so much she could guess at. You WEREN'T an ordinary colt. Not in any way ,shape, or form. It was clear to her that when left to your own devices, you were capable of extraordinary things.

Was this due to Discord's ability to be a father? Was he some sort of prodigy? In fact, thinking on that. "...Anon, I was wrong about you. Everything. You're no colt, you're a young stallion. I cannot think of anypony else who could do what you do without buckling under the pressure. Your fortitude is, well, otherworldly. It was like you already lived a life that was tougher than what you have now. I really have no right to dictate your life, especially since you have the favor of the other Princesses. So, I'll be cancelling the family classes. I don't think anypony needs them anymore."

The classes, you almost forgot about that. Discord wanted them though, if only to get his own vengeance on Chrysalis....something you'd let him have despite everything else. But still, you had to talk to him to go light on the teasing. Because maybe you yourself could use it to try to get through to Chrysalis the goodness of ponies. You had very little time, so anything you can work with, you would make the most of. "No don't, I actually want the classes to happen"

"You do? Why?" Twilight thought you'd be excited for that one. She just wanted to do you right. She felt awful, she felt if only she had known, she'd have been able to help.

"Easy, it'd force all of us to work together as a family unit. I don't have a lot of time to try to reform Chrysalis. Because, well, Princess Celestia is right, she is.....But I still have some time to try. Please, don't cancel our classes. It'll be ok. Chrysalis won't try anything on Aunt Fluttershy. Dad would annihilate her if she tried. So it'll be ok, please?"

Twilight understood, she nodded. "Alright, it sounds like a plan."

Sounds like a plan? "So, you're really with me on this? Despite Queen Chrysalis being in public and close to Aunt Fluttershy?"

Twilight nodded as she felt some confidence return to her. "Yes. As the Princess of Friendship, I can't get hung up on something like this. If Princess Celestia and Luna can trust you, then so can I. And, because you're friends with Queen Chrysalis, it is my duty to at least let you try as much as you can to reform her. I wouldn't be very good at my job if I prevented you from trying now would I? Friendship and all that"

So, she was ok with it then? That quick? "Wow, I...didn't think you'd help me at all after this."

"Anon, If you say you're that close with Queen Chrysalis, then I believe you, especially after today. If I could protect that friendship completely, I would. The most I can do for you now though is give you what you need to accomplish her reformation before we go with Princess Celestia's plan. Personally, if her idea works then I'm all for it too. But losing a friend over it, especially about somepony you care about that much....It's wrong. That's why I wish the circumstances were different. I don't even know what we're going to do with her if Thorax does reform his fellow changelings, I don't feel she'd be very pacifistic about it."

"Nope, she's going to hate on everypony and everything if that happens..." The very thought was painful to you. "I'd like to be able to keep her even after that though. Aunt Fluttershy and everypony else will probably know what happened afterwards so she'd probably have to be completely confined in the basement again. Better there than being alone in Tartarus. I just, if it comes to that, want to try to be there for her, even if she hates me. She might come around...eventually...hopefully"

"I can't guarantee anything, Anon. I'm sorry. All I can do is give you my support." Twilight could see you were really bummed out. She did her best attempt to cheer you up. "You know, you have a pretty interesting life. If it was a book, I'd read it front to back every week."

That did nothing for your mood. "...Ok"

Twilight murmured to herself how stupid that sounded, so she tried something else. "Um, well, Anon, the way I see it is that after the changelings are reformed. We can allow Chrysalis to stay in the basement as suggested. Sure she may get mad, but she's pretty smart. I think she'd see just how great friendship can be with a little time to understand why her hive gave friendship a chance. It wouldn't be too long. Friendship is like walking. Once you have it down you'll never forget it."

"....Ok" It just wasn't working

Twilight sighed. "Anon...I'm really sorry. You know if we could find another way, we would. Nopony wants to hurt you. It's just that this is important, it has to come first. it's the only shot we have."

"I know..." You groan as you put your hooves to your forehead. "I knoooow....Princess Celestia already explained it. Changelings have caused so many problems for so many ponies, leaving them as is to try to reform Chrysalis on my own isn't the greatest idea. I know.....I know...It's for the best. Let's talk about something else"

"Mnnn, well. Can we talk about Scrappy?" Twilight did want to cover this more as well. As she felt that was a little too much. Applebloom with a changeling? Hiding it from the rest of her family? Applejack would go plum loco if she found out Scrappy's real identity. She also thought about the ethics of having a changeling as a dog

"What about him?"

"I'm just wondering, isn't it kind of weird to have a breathing, thinking, independent being as a pet? Does she really consider him as a pet and a friend?"

You lay on your side on the seat and rest your head. "Twilight, Scrappy even says he's her friend and pet. He actually wants it."

"Oh...that's...really weird. Does he like being a dog then?" Twilight, couldn't fathom anypony, especially a changeling, wanting to do that.

"He does. He wants to be the best farming dog ever. He's so into it. Heck, he's so into his friendship with Applebloom that he lies to his own queen just to try to keep some balance. He tells the CMC anything she's planning and then lies to her about what he told them, all so he can keep his friendship with everypony and be Chrysalis's loyal captain while being Applebloom's loyal pet. Truthfully? I have to give it to him. He does so much to make his friends happy that I envy him. Everypony always happy to see him. But I guess I can be pretty overbearing sometimes.....and a little high and mighty as others like to say"

"Anon. Don't beat yourself up like that. Just improve yourself and you won't have a reason to be envious."

"I know, I just. Well, things get complicated. Let's not talk about me. I can handle myself just fine."

Twilight thought about delving into it a little deeper. But she didn't want to aggravate you when you looked so down, so she simply said "Alright. But I know that you're very capable of pulling yourself out of that slump. but ok, let's move on. Diamond Tiara, I know you both are close. Does that mean she knows?"

You slowly shake your head. "No, and it's better that way. I don't want to shame her or her family by letting them know I have bugs in my basement."

"I see, that's probably for the best." Twilight then thought back to Scrappy, she had an itch about him she wanted to scratch. "Anon, do you think I'd be able to meet Scrappy as himself? Rather than him acting like a dog? I'm interested in talking to him"

You shake your head again. "No, it's probably a good idea if you don't. It'd make things more complicated. Just leave it alone, and really? Can you leave me be right now? I want to be alone...I feel alone...I already said I didn't want to talk about him or... me...or anything really."

Twilight could see you were just not handling the whole thing well. She could see in your eyes that you felt you already lost a friend, and there was nothing she could do about it. She felt she had to do something, so she wondered if a certain detail about you was still true. "Hold on Anon, one more question. Since secrets are coming out. Do you actually like affection? Or is that not really a thing?"

You groan and face away from her. "Yes...I like affection. Can I just sleep until the train ride is over please? I want to try to get this out of my head."

Twilight propped herself up on her seat to make some space, then gave her belly a pat. "Then, do you want to use me as a pillow? I'm soft, it might make you feel better.Your Aunt does say it calms you down." Twilight gave you a grin. She wanted to do something, anything to ease your mind. You were going to lose a friend. A friend she hated....but still....a friend. You really didn't have it in you to accept even that.

"I don't know...I..." But then you realized...Oh god. You'd be sitting between all four of her legs. laying back on her soft underbelly. DAMMIT TWILIGHT! YOU NINNY! THIS WAS NOT AN APPROPRIATE TIME TO LIGHT UP THE LIBIDO...also, she did look comfy.

"C'mooon. I'll even give you a little head massage. It'll clear your thoughts and let you plan better, Anon. I know chances aren't that good, but if you can reform Chrysalis before Thorax is ready, then all the better for you. I just want to help, on the principle of friendship."

On the principle of friendship she says. Christ, what a one eighty. but you guessed you'd change a lot of what you thought of someone too if they were selflessly saving lives. And.....head rubs. C'mon, Anon. Don't give in. Twilight has always been a thorn on your side. If you give in now, even despite her being nice, You'll give the impression that you'll need to be dependent on her for certain things. You didn't need her thinking that.

But head rubs...

Goddammit! You are a fucking man!

Head rubs...


You sigh and hop off your seat as you climb up, sit right in front of Twilight, and let her legs envelope you. You were having a soft blush and a warm feeling from that. But you really went red once the rub started.

Ohhh, if you were a cat. You'd purr. Twilight was jelly soft. She herself could feel your tension quickly dissipate, it made her happy that she was being of use. "Are you feeling better, Anon?"

God, you were such a baby. Giving in to fucking bookhorse. Whatever, maybe you were lucky. You'd never get this kind of affection if you were a teenager or an adult. Well, maybe as a teenager from Fluttershy. Maybe another kind of affection from Diamond...oh yeeeehh..NO! DAMMIT! NO LEWD THOUGHTS WHILE YOU WERE BEING EMBRACED! IF ANYTHING HAPPENS! TWILIGHT WOULD LOOK AT YOU LIKE A PERVERT! BESIDES, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE UPSET! DAMMIT!

But them head rubs. You just lost yourself in this. Yeah, it made you feel better, it relaxed you, it let you properly plan out your line of questioning for when you went to see the X-captain. Hell, it made you want to do a special something for Chrysalis. Another movie perhaps? She'd like Goodfellas. Nah, she'd love it probably.

You win this round, bookhorse. You certainly owed Twilight for this. You'd figure out what you'd do for her later. Right now? You'd just close your eyes. And rest.

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