• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,514 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 242 - Flim Flam Future Arc

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Pinkie's mane is flat.
Chrysalis is hungry.
And Anon kicks some balls.

As you and Chrysalis just stare up at her, Gilda hovers in as RD makes a second observation. "Ahhh, nevermind. It's just a foal and his....mom?..." she stared hard at Chrysalis. "Aren't you a little young to be his mom?"

Chrysalis snaps back at her. "Aren't you a little old to be saying words like "Cool" and "Awesome" ?"

"Hey!...Those words are timeless! Who are you to talk?!" Rainbow Dash shakes her front leg at her like an angry fist.

"Agh Dash, come on. They aren't worth our time, let's just cuff these dweebs and book em. They are obviously part of that smelly hippy group" Gilda says as she hovers over to her side.

"Smelly hippy?! How dare you! I'm not smelly you simple birdbrained moron! And you… Timeless? Why don't you run home to your mother and tell her you're dressing up as a stallion. I'm sure she'd be proud" Chrysalis was really angry, never mind you both were caught by fucking "police chief" Dash. She did not want to take those insults lying down.

As for you, you were scared as shit. What the fuck could you do here?

As you stood there shaking, Gilda looked down at you and gave you an dissolute expression. She did not look like she had good intentions. Was she looking at your bag? And what the fuck was Chrysalis doing?! She was a lot crankier than usual, you thought she'd conduct herself better.

Wait.......you were in a situation in which police were hassling you, there was a misunderstanding, and you had a chance to be anyone you wanted. You don't know how, but you started to think hard on how cartoon characters would handle this....if this didn't work..you just might crap yourself. "NYMOUS! MY ROYAL ADVISER AND CARETAKER! STAND DOWN! WE WILL NOT MAKE ENEMIES WITH FRIENDS OF EQUESTRIA! I, PRINCE ANON, DECREE IT!"

And that....made everyone stop with a look of "wut?".

"Prince what? Oh, you gotta be kiddin'. There's no way you're a prince. Nice...no, ya know what? That wasn't even a nice try, that was terrible" Gilda states, she didn't even seem to find it funny.

"Yeah, what's up with you kid? You couldn't come up with anything better than that? I mean seriously, prince? Randomly out of nowhere? Ain't buyin' it." Rainbow Dash shrugged

"But I am too a prince! Nymous, tell them!" Come onnn.....Chrysalis...

"A-ahhh yes, he is indeed a prince" Chrysalis bows to you without hesitation or reluctance. "I'm sorry prince Anon, forgive my rudeness. It won't happen again." Ahh good, she went right into it without any trouble.

"Good, now then, fine police ponies, let us conduct business" You look up to them, but they only smiled, then chuckled, then began to laugh, they had to land to keep themselves from losing balance.

"Dash, are ya hearin' this?! That's too hilarious! He thinks we're actually buyin' it. What a dweeeeeeb!" Gilda chortled

"I know! It's pretty cute actually! I think I can even forgive Miss snoots over there, that's rich! Seriously kid, it's too much!" Rainbow Dash was doing her best to calm down, but it sounded so damn hilarious to her. "I mean, how would you even prove it? You don't look like you have anything on you that would make you princely. C-c'mon, lets go down to the station before I choke. Hahahaha"

...You had to think, because Chrysalis looked like she was going to lose her shit. What was wrong with her? She's usually calmer than this.

....Wait...

You take off your bag and tip it over, causing your bits to fall out from the overflow. Immediately Gilda and Rainbow Dash stop laughing. They just looked upon the bits with amazement. Not even greed...just...amazement.

Gilda took one immediately and bit down on it. Her beak didn't pierce the coin. Her eyes then went wide. "Yo Dash......these are real"

"It can't be..." Rainbow Dash took one of her own and tried to bend it with her teeth. It didn't bend, she then took a close eye on it. Then her eyes too, went wide. "No way....these are real. I haven't seen this many old style bits in so long. I thought most of them got melted down when they converted the rainbow factory....but this is the real deal. How did you come across all this, kid?"

Old Style bits?....Shit, you better keep up the prince act. "Call me Prince Anon...it's my title after all"

Rainbow Dash was now getting suspicious of you, prince? With all these "old style" bits? "Uh huh...Prince of what exactly?"

......

"Erm..."

"Don't waste your time speaking my liege, you need to save your energy after such a long trip." Chrysalis steps to you and gives you a gentle pat before facing Rainbow Dash. "He is the prince of Bueno Aires. A very very distant land that not many have heard of. These bits here are what we had from our treasury. We value current exchange and the currencies of any and all land. We had come to Equestria for vacation AND business purposes...are you to tell me these bits have become expired?"

Gilda now seemed a little worried. "Yo Dash, I think these guys are the real deal. I don't want to cause no war here."

Rainbow Dash's attitude suddenly became rather timid"Y-yeah...erm. To er...answer your question...ma'am. Y'see, when Flim and Flam became kings-"

"THEY BECAME WHAT?!" That was...WUT?!

Everyone looks at you funny again. Chrysalis giving you an expression to calm down.

"Ahrm...Sorry, erm..I have issues with my father and succession...it's...umm..sorta a trigger in my brain." You chuckle nervously.

"Right..erm..anyway. They errr, had all the old bits collected, melted down at the old rainbow factory, converted into the new Flimflam style bits, and redistributed evenly across Equestria. It kinda went well, Me and Gilda pooled it all together to get to the top and get these comfy jobs. Other ponies didn't seem to understand, and now there poor and homeless...I kept telling Fluttershy spending bits on animals was dumb...but she just didn't listen..." There was a hint of sadness in Rainbow Dash's voice before she shrugged it off. "But whatever, her choice, not mine, I'm not giving this job up for anything."

...Ahh right...Equestria did have factories after all..how could you forget the rainbow factory?...But..more importantly. "Wasn't there a couple of princesses ruling before?"

"Yeesh, you guys really are from far away. There was only one actually, but when King Flim and King Flam swung by and started improving Equestria with all this cool stuff and making it safer, everypony opted her out and voted them in. I mean, check this out!" Rainbow Dash brandishes her leg attached blaster. "Who needs stupid magic when you got this thing?"

...What in the fuck happened to this world that the ponies voted out fucking Celestia?! "I-I see...erm...so are these kings in this town?"

Rainbow Dash shook her head as she took a card out of her shirt and stamped it. "Nah, they live up in Canterlot...speaking of which..." Rainbow Dash walked over to you and handed you a card. "Here, the bosses up top want me to give these cards to any big business pony they haven't met yet. Since you're a prince and all, I guess that counts. For three days you can eat for free, sleep for free, and can use this to get a ride over to Canterlot if you head down to the "rental and rides" place down in Flamsville's northern side. Just remember to stick to the right, Flimsville is on the left side. You can tell which town you're in by checking out the statue of the kings where Golden Oaks library used to be."

You take the card, and just give it a blank stare "..Yeah...."

“Wellll, anyway. Me and my deputy has got important work to do...so uhhh...sorry about everything and you two enjoy...the towns...erm..yeah. Really really sorry about the trouble...and if you need law enforcement immediately, just show em that card and your golden...welp..erm...seeya!" Rainbow Dash gives you a nervous salute and flies off. Gilda following her.

Chrysalis just looks at them fly off with pure agitation. "How do you like that? Their greeted with royalty and they fly off, that birdbrained oaf even stole some of your bits while you weren't looking. I'm sure "Rainbow Dash" took notice...we got fleeced. Ahh well, we still have plenty...and they seem more valuable than they were back home...so then..."prince"...what do we do now?" Chrysalis looks to you, waiting for your answer.

...She was acting really odd. "Chrysalis....are you alright? You kinda got more angry than usual there." You were....actually concerned. Both with her agitation and asking for orders.

"I'm fine..." Chrysalis rolls her eyes at you and turns away. "Just disappointed we just didn't end them. Not like it matters here....now then. What do you want to do? Since you want to take charge, you might as well lead."

...Something was up, you could just tell. Even in her transformed state, she wasn't looking so hot. "Alright...let's go into town and check out how things are. Absorb the culture. Then we'll get going to Canterlot, get a hotel, and see the "Kings" first thing in the morning. Sound like a plan?"

She nods. "The best we have I suppose....let's go"

And so you both wander into town. A mini replica of of a modern city from the 50s mixed with some human intricacies like cars, gas stations, and plenty of ponies just walking around...none of em looking pleased about anything. God...you were having nostalgic flashbacks. The worst part was the huge road that separated the towns. All that noise, all those cars.......christ. All that road rage even. "This place is terrible..."

"I ag-Omph! HEY WATCH IT!" Chrysalis shrieks as a pony bumps into her.

"Why don't you watch it!" The pony yells back

"I'll tear you apart you useless slug!" She continues to yell.

"Whatever, I have work to get to. Go be a nuisance somewhere else!" The pony turns around to continue on his way.

"..Why you..."

You tug at Chrysalis to try to calm her down. "Nymous...Nymous..just let it go...it's just...geez, it's just how places like these are..I can't believe it's actually like this at all...It's just like home."

".....I see...mnnngrrr. These ponies piss me off as much as the nice ones. All that bustling, shouting at one another on the streets, they don't even take the time to say hello...it's sickening."

Yeah...totally odd. You'd think she'd be ok with that. "We just gotta relax....yeah, maybe we should just head over to that place they mentioned and hitch a ride. there might be a place to get some eats along the way..."

Chrysalis eyes you with a mean look

"....Sorry, I forgot you feed on.......Oh shit...." ....Was that it? "....Chrysalis...are you hungry?"

"......." She just turns away from you. "Let's just get to Canterlot already...."

.....She hadn't gotten food since she got here. Hell, the trip from one end of the dead Everfree to the other was pretty damn long. And Gilda and Rainbow Dash didn't help things. "Alright, let's just...hrn?”

You noticed a cloaked figure with a familiar pink tail coming out from the back end, the tail was straightened however. This figure was following a rich set of ponies strolling down the other end of the street on the town divide. "...Pinkie?" You whisper to yourself.

And then, she snatches something stealthily from them and runs off in another direction into an alley.

"Chrysalis...gimme a moment..." You tell her as you make your way to the alley It was almost like being spirited away.

"What are you doing?" Chrysalis asked, still highly agitated, but you weren't paying attention as you try to cross the street. But cars started either stopping or forcing you to run as they yell at you to get off the street.

"Ahh geez!" You scamper and dodge.

"GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID URCHIN!"

"GOSH DARNED DUMB KIDS!"

Shiiiieett.

You dove for the sidewalk as you took deep breaths. "T-that...That was stupid..."

"Clearly..." What?! no way

You look up, to see Chrysalis right above you. "What?!....I didn't know you could teleport!?"

"What are you talking about, you idiot? I can't teleport, I just used that path all those other ponies started walking across to get to the other side, see?" She points....to a crosswalk...

"...Ugh...fuck me" Well Anon, clearly you were a fuck up if you forgot basic human shit.

However, there was no time to lose. You get up quickly and rush over to the alley Pinkie dove into. "Come on! We gotta chase after her before she gets away!"

Chrysalis just followed at a slower pace. "...Why...Exactly?"

"We just do..come on!" You run through the alleyway, only to come to a dead stop when you notice Pinkie with her hood down, looking at a dead end wall.

"Darn it! Why do I always run into the alleys with brick walls?" She said, annoyed with herself.

You slowly approach her from the backside, and calmly speak. "Pinkie?"

"EEEP!" Pinkie springs around to face you. "...u-uummm..heya...little colt...and erm....miss. How are ya doin?" She smiles nervously, sweating, waving her hoof. Her mane....was flat, non puffy, like when she is Pinkamena...but she didn't look insane or crazy.

She was nervous...christ...she became a thief...if Rainbow Dash said was true. she may also have spent her bits irresponsibly when they got redistributed evenly. "Pinkie...erm...Hi, um...So...I'm fine....how are you?"

"I'm......wait....how do you know my name?" She looked pretty confused, until she narrowed her eyes at you "...Are you from another dimension?"

..Goddammit Pinkie! Stop breaking existential boundaries! "N-no...no. Look, I just heard about you from somewhere. And then I noticed you stealing something. What happened?"

"..." Pinkie flinched and stepped back carefully "...Heard about me?...So you know...I take stuff?.....Are you gonna turn me in?"

"No...no I'm not" You give her a kindly face and step forward.

"Then how have you heard of me and yet not gonna turn me in?....Do you know how weird that sounds?...That's like...super weird...or a bad joke..." Pinkie looked like she was getting ready to spring above you.

"..Pinkie, I know it sounds weird...and sudden. But....can you tell me what happened?...I need to know"

"What happened?....What? You're right...that is sudden. You chase me in here, you know who I am, and now you're asking me what happened and I don't even know what that means." Pinkie reaches her hoof out towards you, and touched your nose before pulling back "....But you're real. Don't you know there's cash rewards for turning in thieves?"

Chrysalis raises an eyebrow at her. "...Is that advantageous to you to just blurt out like that?"

"I'm just saying, sheesh. It's like you aren't trying to trick me to turn me in...well!" Pinkie yells at the both of you "Turn me in already!.....Wait!...D-Don't do that!" Pinkie backed off onto the wall, pressing her back to it, scared "P-please?"

........That was Pinkie alright. Same as she's always been. But..you had to be more clear. "N-no, Pinkie. Look, I'm not gonna do that. I need to know what happened to you exactly, what happened to Equestria, what happened to Princess Celestia?"

Pinkie stayed silent for a moment. She found this entire encounter weird. "...I think this is the first time anypony has trapped me just to ask questions....but....do you promise to not turn me in if I tell you?"

"I Pinkie promise"

Pinkie looked really confused at that "......What?"

....You felt your heart wrench on that one. Pinkie not even knowing the pinkie promise? "It's a special promise among friends, it means you'll never break it, you do it like this...Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye" You do the motions. Pinkie just stares.

But then, in classic Pinkie fashion, it hits her like a bright flash and she almost immediately understands. Like it was natural.

"....I think I get it...wow..wait." Pinkie's eyes go wide, then tear filled. You notice her mane wiggle just a little "Did you say "Among friends"?....We're friends now?"

Chrysalis groans "I wouldn't OMPH!"

You nudge Chrysalis before she could finish that sentence. "Yes...so please. Tell me what you know"

Pinkie nods and sits down to explain. "Alright friend! Well let's start with Celestia since I really dunno what happened with her. See, I've lived on a rock farm for a very very long time, so we don't really know what goes on. But what I DO know is that ponies got really upset and angry at her...so she stepped down."

"...She...stepped down? Just due to a few angry ponies? That doesn't sound like her" Chrysalis contemplated.

"I wouldn't know...she just stepped down, but she still apparently lives in Canterlot. As for Equestria....you really don't know?" Pinkie was so perplexed by your lack of information.

You shake your head.

"Well....King Flim and King Flam took over after she stepped down. Everypony loved them because they gave money to everypony and stopped so many bad guys. They even defeated King Sombra when the Crystal Empire appeared." Pinkie explained.

"WHAT?!" both you and Chrysalis yell out at the same time.

Pinkie was surprised. "Didn't you hear? They stomped him with the crystal heart. The newspapers says they used their super improved helicopter machine to get up to a tower, then they used this cannon thing on the copter to shoot the heart into him. It was apparently amazing that all the Crystal Ponies instantly loved them....surprised you never heard"

They fucking.....What?! You look to Chrysalis...who just looks to you.....WUT?! "...o-ok..e-ermm...s-so..." You clear your throat.....Good christ..... "Ahrm..ummm...so, why did you resort to stealing?"

Pinkie winced, and looked down in shame. ".....Because we have no money. Nopony needs rocks anymore now that there’s all these fancy gadgets and gizmos. Nopony likes rocks or coloring rocks or even eating rocks in soup. Mom and Dad didn't want to cut a deal with the Kings because they didn't trust them, so we fended for ourselves until the farm went belly up. Then we moved here. I tried using my share of the money everypony got to start a party shop...but nopony wanted my kind of parties...they wanted the much more extravagant ones. So...I only steal enough to help my family. I try to do more....but Boulder.....Boulder is so brave...he forgoes his food so we can have just a little more....poor Maud...it breaks her heart....every day"

Pinkie started to sob. Was...was that true? After seeing RD...and every other pony…

"....Relax dear, I understand your pain. I too know the hardships of providing for a family. But please, cheer up. You're with friends now, and we care about you" Chrysalis says softly, with love in her voice. Wut?

"R-really?...T-thank you...I'm...really glad to know there's still friendly ponies around" Pinkie's mane started to slightly inflate.

...Chrysalis was making a set up...wait...money...ahhh! "She's right...in fact..." You take off your bag, and open it, spilling out a good amount of bits. "I hear these old style bits are worth a lot. Why don't you take some?"

Pinkie just stares at them, utterly astonished. "............I-is this a joke?"

You shook your head with a smile. "Nope, I want you to have them. But, in return, you have to call me Nonny. And I'll call you Ponk, how does that sound?"

Pinkie's mane and tail inflated to full on fluff. She smiled, and cried, and pulled you over to cry on you. "T-THANK YOU SOO MUCH NONNY! OHHHHHH.....MNNNNNGHHHHHH. THAT'S...S-SO MUCH! I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW YOU GOT IT! BUT....BUT....THE FACT YOU'RE JUST GIVING IT TO ME....OHHHH...BOULDER IS GONNA BE SO HAPPY TONIGHT WAHHHHH!" She wailed.

You just pat her on the back and nuzzle in her warm but wet embrace. "It's ok Ponk, just make sure you put it all to good use, ok?"

"I will! I wil!! And since we're such good friends already! I'll give you a nickname too...hmmnn...what about...Anon!" Pinkie was so ecstatic.

....Oh wait NO! "N-no, Ponk....The reason I said to call me Nonny is because that ISWFED"

She gave you a super tight hug. "YUP! ANON SOUNDS LIKE THE BEST NICKNAME EVER!" You were shaking as she put you back down...s-shit...why does everyone hug you so damn tightly. "Say! I know! Why don't you two come over for dinner tonight. I'm sure seeing some friendly faces would do everypony some real good!" Pinkie says cheerfully.

"Accctuuaalllyy, me and..Nonny...need to be going. We have important work to do. Besides, I'm sure your family will be simply heads over hooves with just the money you now have." Chrysalis cuts in.

"Awwwwww.....really?" Pinkie was pretty disappointed.

Chrysalis nods. "It's very important. But just the fact you're so happy is enough to fill our hearts with love" Chrysalis gives her a cheerful smile.

"...Ok...Well, I wish you both a very very very safe trip! And when you're done! Maybe you both can stop by sometime!"

You smile...that sounded nice..especially after what you have seen so far. "That'd be nice, Ponk"

And with that, Pinkie went on her way. She said she'd sneak the item she stole back to the owner before they noticed. And she just...bounced off like old Pinkie would. As you saw her bounce off...you look to Chrysalis. "She wasn't lying about any of that right?"

Chrysalis shook her head. "No, she was giving off high amounts of love"

You nod. "Is it enough?"

"It'll do. Being a queen means I need to feed more than my drones...but this will do." She said as she swiped her tongue along her lips

"Good..." You just stare off towards the exit of the alleyway. "And good luck, Pinkie"

So, it seems Flim and Flam were doing some wheeling and dealing. They were making odd deals it seemed. With business owners? Is that why you had this card? What did it all mean? How did they get so rich? How exactly did they get Celestia to step down? Why are ponies such assholes? And why is everything they are getting away with seems ok? You needed more info on the story holes and even the details Pinkie gave you. But for now...there was something you needed to discuss with Chrysalis as you both walked to the rental and ride place.

You both tried to stay on the emptiest part of the sidewalk. It was getting late, the sun was going down and the streets were emptying just a bit, but nowhere near as it normally would in your Ponyville. "So...Nymous. I have a question for you."

Chrysalis rolls her eyes. "If it's about the pink one, I only did what I did for the love, don't look too deeply into it"

You shake your head. "No, I figured that much. I'm talking about a sleepover with Diamond Tiara"

Chrysalis's eyes light up as she grins. "..Ohhhhhh, I nearly forgot about that"

"Yeeeaaah, why exactly did you tell her to invite you? I know you don't need the love. So are you doing it to just fuck with me?"

She snickered and then looked forward as she brushed her mane back. "A little, it also helps settle in that I'm your kind and loving sister, and it actually helps you with your relationship...you might even have sex. Shame about that other filly....oohh...she'd be soooo jealous"

Now you snickered....ohhh..she didn't know. "Oh? Funny you mention that. Because Applebloom recently learned a friendship lesson that basically finally ended that little string she was keeping on me. I guess that means I'll actually be doing the fucking....with you I mean."

Chrysalis denied it however. "Don't be naive, how could she possibly be over you so suddenly?"

"....You'd be surprised what happens when you learn causing chaos in someponys life is ultimately wrong. You just need a solid example from a spirit of chaos itself."

"What are you...." She stopped for a moment, and then said with a venomous whisper. "Discord..."

You chuckle. "Bingo, and I'm not worried about having sex either. You're just saying that to worry me. Looks like I win this time, eh? Because all you're doing is bringing me closer to Diamond Tiara without being torn apart by Applebloom. At this point, I don't mind it at all. I'm free from that triangle nonsense."

Chrysalis did a low growl. "....Fantastic...." She calms down just a little. "I'm still going to make it happen. You're still too much of a loser to truly handle making that filly yours."

Wha huh? "Excuse me? I think I'm doing just fine."

"Until she starts making demands or commanding you. You don't think I don't know that you bend to her whims? You need help, period. And I'm the only one who can give you that help"

....You didn't need help...mnnngrrr... "Yeah no...you're just saying that because it's food."

She chuckles. "That certainly helps..."

"More like that’s the only reason. Like I said, I can handle it just fine." You were just always caught at a disadvantage after all.

"You mean like you handled that false fight I heard about? Oh yes, truly stupendous work." She says in a sarcastic tone

Dammit..... ".......You're a bitch..."

Chrysalis grinned. "I know, I'm getting to really like it too. But I have to admit, you are definitely learning" Chrysalis noted as she looked ahead, her tone was that of a wise leader

"Learning?" Wha? What did she mean by that?

"Don't be coy. Prince..."

Oh, she was talking about the trick on RD and Gilda.

You actually grin at that. You went from annoyed to feeling pretty humbled. But only because it was such a big play. "Pretty good eh? I had this feeling it'd work. Ponies are super easy to fool"

"Oh I know. Most never tend to question any of the off details unless it affects them directly....the fools" Chrysalis always found it remarkable whenever she tricked ponies, that none ever seemed to ever figure her out until it's too late

"Let's not get too insulting now. Remember, some of those "Fools" are my friends. And you live among them too, y'know? You gotta be a little nicer about it"

Chrysalis was annoyed by that remark. She felt you were pressing the reform issue again. "I can do whatever I please...tch, why do you always have to ruin the moment like that?"

"Because I'm not evil, but if you want me to be honest. Ponies can be pretty foolish. I'll agree with you on that, is that better?"

"You just don't get it sometimes, Anon, you can't just "agree" with me and expect it to be ok. Maybe once in awhile you could at least indulge me in my type of banter..." Chrysalis was sounding pretty cranky again. Maybe she didn't get as big as a fill as she thought. Or maybe she was just being naturally bitchy.

Just indulge her, she was obviously too sensitive at the moment to think properly"Y'know, maybe I will next time. There are a few ponies that kinda tick me off sometimes"

But that catches Chrysalis's interest immediately instead. "Really now? When we say "few ponies", I would hope you mean some of your friends...right?"

"Yeah, what...interested what I have to say already?"

"It depends....does this extend to the Elements of Harmony?" Chrysalis grew ever more curious

You nod....hrnnn, maybe you managed to reopen a chance to bond. You just had to make sure not to fall too deeply in. "Well, I'm mostly talking Twilight. I mean, I get what she's saying about friendship and such. But she's always fucking being nosy and annoying a lot."

Chrysalis pulls up her memories from when Twilight wouldn't leave her alone when she was Cadence "Nosy doesn't begin to describe it. I only knew her for a little while and she just wouldn't leave me alone! If it wasn't for the fact I was disguised as Cadsnce, I would have gotten rid of her sooner....I should probably had just done it. But I couldn't pretend to be both her and Cadance at the same time. It'd be too much."

"Oh trust me, I know. I was pretty much forced to stay a whole week with her. I learned some things yeah, but it was common knowledge and good manner type stuff anyway. And all because I was handling a threat to Equestria on my own. And despite it being dangerous, I got it done, I saved the day, and she didn't do squat. But because Celestia decided to be be nosy due to Twilight being nosy. I got punished...."

"I think you should have been rewarded. To think, to punish a hero just because of their body's age. Celestia knows your true self and yet she herself seems to be more of a nuisance to you than Twilight. Why do you put up with it?"

You shrugged "Because they aren't bad natured ponies, not like in this dimension anyway. I'd like to stay in good terms with them and I don't want to upset Fluttershy. But I tell you, sometimes I just wanna slap em when they think they know more than they actually do. Or being super annoying like Rainbow Dash, you think that cop thing was bad? She was following me during my entire date...She pretended to be my waiter! All on a hunch that I kicked her butt during Nightmare Night....I mean I did...but still."

Chrysalis shook her head, she found that sad "...That's just pathetic"

You giggle a little. "Yeah, but that's Dash when she gets super deep into something. " You shake your hoof in front of you with a cocky smirk. "Just one slap, bam! Just to knock her to her senses"

"Ha! As if a single slap would work. But, back to Twilight. Is she even good at her title? She seems like a joke to me" Chrysalis asked.

"Yeah, she's not too good at it unless she has her friends with her. Actually, if you want a laugh. Discord shut her up recently. I mean, you know about the Chimera attack right? It just makes me wonder sometimes how that just kinda blew over. Discord brought up a good point that nearly getting me killed within a week was ridiculous. I mean really, c'mooooooon. Even AFTER all that she still decided to be a cunt and nose in on my life. It's like, if she could just cut it out with that nonsense for just a day, she'd actually be fun to hang with...but she ALWAYS...ALWAYS has to go Moral Mode at the drop of a hat." You scoff at your own words “I bet you, I just bet you that you couldn't even play a prank on her without her getting all uppity about it. And I don't even mean like...Discord level, I mean just a harmless little one. She even gets annoyed with burping."

Chrysalis was actually pretty amazed you had so much to say. "Well, that's a lot of pent up animosity. How have you not just pointed your horn at her and just turned her to dust?"

You smirk and shake your head, realizing what she's doing. "Sans you trying to convince me, the method I use is huge amounts of patienOW!"

"Watch where ya goin ya mook!" Says a trenchcoated pony as he passes by.

"Why don't you?! fucking shit ass asshole! You know what, If I had a.....a.....uh oh...." You were tapping at your neck.....the horn was gone. "Oh shit!"

"What's wrong?" Chrysalis noticed you rubbing at your chest.

"That asshole stole the horn! I don't even see him in the crowd anymore! Goddammit! What do we do?!" You began to panic

Chrysalis snickered "Wait here...I'll get it back" She bent her back away from the crowd to "Grow" some wings.

"Oh, you're gonna get violent?..." For once, this seemed fine

She nods, with a serious look.

"Then make sure to knock that asshole right in the nuts!" Goddamn thieves, taking your shit! Go Chrysalis!

"With pleasure...I needed some stress relief anyway" Chrysalis lifted off, it only took her a moment to find the pony, being the only one in a trenchcoat.

In the next moment. You could hear him screaming for dear life. "What are ya doin' you crazy horse!"

"You stole something you lowlife scum! And I'm gonna take it back! Even if that means ripping you limb from limb!"

"W-Wait! AGH! STOP! YOU'Re VIOLATIN' ME! OW! YOUR HOOVES ARE SHARP! AGH! DON'T SLAP ME! MY TRENCHCOAT! ARGH! COULDN'T WE AT LEAST DO THIS IN A HOTEL ROOM?! URGH THAT WAS MY NOSE! MY POOR NOSE!"

"GO APOLOGIZE TO THE COLT YOU MONSTER! OR I'LL DO WORSE! I'LL SHOVE YOUR TRENCHCOAT RIGHT UP YOUR ASS" Chrysalis shouts

"GEEZ LADY?! WHAT KINDA LANGUAGE IS THAT?! IT WOULDN'T EVEN FIT!"

"oh ho, you think? DO YOU WANT TO FIND OUT?! BECAUSE I'LL BET I CAN GET IT SO FAR IN THERE IT'LL COME OUT THE OTHER END!" Oh geez, maybe she learned TOO much human vocabulary.

"G-GEEZ! OK OK, HE CAN HAVE IT BACK! IT'S JUST A STUPID PROP ANYWAY! GEEZ, I WAS JUST GONNA SELL IT FOR A FEW BITS!" He screamed and whined

Other ponies started to back off, some even running, as the now beat up and bruised trenchcoated pony came up to return the horn. Thank god he wasn't anyone you knew. You might have felt bad. It was just some monochrome douchebag. "Here, kid...geez...yer mom has real lip....I mean..." As the pony drops off your horn to the ground, he looks to Nymous with a dirty smile. "yer kinda pretty when yer angry....so uh, how about we just ditch the kid for awhile and find a hotel? ehhh...ehhhh?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

Chrysalis just looked to him with disgust, then made a little kicking motion with her hoof.

Ohhhh, you get it, she wanted you to attack while his attention was towards her. It seems she was giving you the honor. You flip around and rev up your back legs and buck him right in his nuts.

In a super high pitched voice and his eyes rolled up, he falls onto the ground "GYAH! MOMMA!...I THINK I'M COMIN TO SEE YA....s-sorry about the eggs..." And then he fell, unconscious.

You were cackling from his fall, that actually felt good. "Hahaha! Did you see that?"

Chrysalis was cringing though. "...Oh...I think even I felt that. Good on you, Anon...but...oh, I don't think I'd wish that on anypony.....wait...yes I would. What am I talking about?" She then started cackling with you. Both of you finding it hilarious as the other ponies just shake their heads...and go on with their day.

...In fact...that makes you stop laughing. "...wow...nopony is even helping the guy....woo....Ok...let's...let's just go ok? I think the nastiness of this place is getting to me."

But Chrysalis was still laughing at it all. "Speak for yourself, it's poetic, a world of loveless ponies don't care when one of their own falls to the ground in deep pain, it's ridiculous, it's hilarious..." And then she stops laughing, realizing the dread of it all...."It's tasteless.....Anon, there's no point...it's all empty here. What's the point of it all when everypony doesn't care?.....Ohhh" Chrysalis gets a chill "This place is dead...there's not one pony who had any heart to see how badly he's injured."

"Yeah, I noticed....woo. Let's just go" You both continue on your trek. This place was making you think darker thoughts than usual. Twilight and Celestia...even Rainbow Dash weren't as bad as the aura this dimension had. You let yourself maybe slip a little too much. You didn't even feel bad that you kicked the guy in the nuts. You just felt bad that nobody cared...even as you looked back. He was just laying there, twitching.

And Chrysalis didn't seem happy about it either. But that was due to the realization that there really was nearly no love for her to drain at any time. Even if pummeling a pony was fun. The fact that nobody cared meant she had no food, she was actually starting to fear that there could be a point where she wouldn't be able to feed...and would starve. It ended whatever "cheerful" conversation you both were having quite quickly.

You both stayed silent with these individual thoughts in mind until you reached the rental and rides place. Hell, the place itself was plain with a checkerboard floor and cracked ceiling. And with it being later in the day, you both didn't have to wait in line.

And everything went as expected when it came to this world. You showed the card you were given, and you were given a circular VIP chip. You were told there was only one limo available. You just go in, slip the chip to the driver, and they'd take you to Canterlot. Simple enough. But the way he spoke made it seem like he really didn't care for his job.

You look to Chrysalis as you both step out to find the limo. "Chrysalis, you alright?...you went quiet after we left that guy on the ground."

Chrysalis decided to be frank with you, she wasn't hiding anything, nor was she dancing around it. "Anon, for once. I'm having trouble maintaining my senses. I'll be honest with you, It was humiliating at times that sometimes we had to scrounge up love from even the lowliest of creatures and animals...or even that orb. But it at least maintained us. Here? I wouldn't be surprised if there were no changelings in this future....They may have all perished. There was always love floating around in our world, but here, I never thought I'd feel such emptiness from everypony being jerks. I don't even think I'd care to take over this Equestria...it's been ruined. The only solace I could find here is to see those who'd I call my enemies suffer. That's all"

It was off putting to see her vulnerable...who'd have thought it'd just take a world full of shitheads to soften her up. She was doing her best not to sound like she was weak. But you knew she was worried more than she was letting on...she may have even been scared. She needed...a friend. Hell, you pretty much had to. You were the one at fault for her being here in the first place.

"Chrysalis, don't worry alright? You're not here alone, you're with me. And we're friends right? I know you, you're gonna tease me sooner or later and get your fill like you always do. Heck, I bet you the hotel we end up at will have one bed. And You know what that means right?" You nudge at her and wiggle your eyes playfully

Chrysalis stopped for a moment. She almost got angry at you for your clear showing of pity. But she held it back, she felt that now was not the time to hold on to too much of her pride, and instead. Gave you a gentle pat. "Don't sound so enthused, Anon, it's just as agitating. But..." Chrysalis sighs, knowing she didn't have to look around to make sure no one else was hearing. "Thank you for the thought.....I'll just have to tease you harder since you'll already be expecting it. But I'm serious, for once...Thank you"

You just give her a gentle smile. "No problem, that makes us even by the way"

"Even?" She asks as you spot the limo and walk over to it. It...was odd looking. It looked like a long carriage with it's driver side being covered like a normal car and a large sunroof in the back despite there being no walls like an actual limousine. It was just an odd looking car/limo/carriage hybrid.

"You saved my life with the ex-captain, I save your life with the fact I actually care about you...makes us even" You explain smugly

Chrysalis let's out a small laugh as she smirks. "Cheeky..."

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