• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 21,798 Views, 3,537 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 309

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Anon eats a cinnamon bun
Starlight asks some questions
And Discord shoves something in Anons ear

You and Starlight head over to Sugar Belle's after she puts away Starswirl's notes and scroll.

As you both walked over, you thought it'd be good to ask how she's doing since she managed to put you in a much better mood. "So, Starlight, how are you doing then? I mean, about meeting up with Sunburst tomorrow?"

"Oh..." She suddenly seemed pretty nervous herself. "I'm sort of ready for that"

Sort of. That made sense.Still, if she would just let you go with her, it'd probably make things easier. "Sort of, huh? So, on a scale of one to ten, how 'Sort of' are you ready?"

Starlight sighed. "three...or four. It's been a long time, Anon. A really long time. Just thinking about it sometimes just brings back that horrible memory...." Starlight then gives you a hard stare "That's why I have to do it alone...got that?"

Cripes, Again...You were pretty damn obvious. "Alright alright, I got it. I understand. I won't even ask, I just wanted to make sure you were ok with it. Because once you get on that train tonight...well, there's no going back"

"Well, I could go back, actually. It's a round trip ticket. But I get what you mean. I do have a question though. Based on how he was acting, do you think things will go ok?" Starlight asked you as she became worried, looking forward to hide her nervousness.

You grinned just a little on how cute she looked when she asked that. You look forward as well so she didn't notice you caught on to her nervous expression. "There's nothing to worry about. The guy is as soft as a kitten and scatterbrained as an old stallion. He doesn't even act tough. He seems like a good guy, so I'd say it's gonna be pretty easy to approach him."

"Ok, well that bumps the four to a six. Thanks, Anon" She says as you both approach a table outside of Sugar Belle's shop. You both take a seat and sit down. "Now I just got to hope his new title doesn't make things harder."

"Harder? Why would it make it harder?"

"I...hrnn" Starlight took a moment to think. "I don't even know why I said that."

You chuckle at her. "Now who's all obsessed and nervous?"

"Oh, come on!" She gave you a mean look. "Can you blame me? It's been years! I mean, I'm glad he remembers me, but..." Her mean look softened to sorrow when she looked down at the table "It's been a long time for him too. Who knows how it's going to go"

Poor Starlight. He was the reason she went on her crazy equalization crusade. Now she was going to meet that very same guy and she was nervous it'd all come crashing down.

"Well, considering the advice you gave to me. Why don't you relax and just let it happen? If it's one thing I've learned about living in this world is that usually everything works out as long as somepony doesn't spaz out"

"Really? Is that a difference you noticed between your old world and ours?" She asked you. "I mean, thinking about it now. I can't believe I never really asked you anything about what your old world was like"

"Well, that's because we both were kind of preoccupied with things and-"

"Starlight! Hi, oh! And it's your little friend Anon too! What can I get you both today?" Sugar Belle comes from seemingly nowhere with a happy grin on her face, ready to take both your orders.

"Oh, Sugar Belle! Oh well, we were going to order a big ole cinnamon bun to share." Starlight was sweating a little, hoping she hadn't heard what the both of you were just talking about.

"Alright, any drinks?" She looked so cute and cheerful. Which was funny to you because she was just as cute when equalized.

"Water, water is fine. And..you didn't hear anything just now, right?" Starlight asked

"Hrn? Nope! Why? Is it something private? I promise I didn't hear anything" Sugar Belle smile lessened, but she seemed to be telling the truth.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it" Starlight answered as she calmed down.

"O-ok then. Umm, Anon. Do you want a drink? We serve drinks to foals for free so you can have whatever you want!"

Well, that's pretty awesome. "Can I get some soda pop!" You say in an adorable fashion, raising yourself up as you shook your tail.

"Sure! I'll get a big glass just for you. Drinks will be ready in a minute and the cinnamon bun in fifteen. But, y'know, Starlight. I don't mind making the order on the house for everything" Sugar Belle could see something was upsetting Starlight, and didn't want to stress her more with a bill.

"It's alright, Sugar Belle. We can't really have an economy if everything is on the house all the time, right?" Starlight says as she tosses a few bits onto the table.

"I-I guess..." Sugar Belle reluctantly took the bits. It looked like she didn't really want to do it, but she did. Arguing with Starlight was probably a useless endeavor "Alright..I'll be right back" And so she went to cater to other customers while fetching your drinks.

Starlight then turns back to you "Yeah..We'll talk about that later. But, I do have to ask one thing about it. What are your villains and criminals like? Just keep the answer short, we don't need anypony catching on to what we're talking about"

"Why are you interested in that?" what a weird question.

"Reasons of comparison. I want to know if your world has anything worse than what we got...anything worse than what I tried to do"

You exhale a big waft of air. This was a big one. "You sure?"

"Yes, I'm just curious about it. I beat myself up a lot for things I did. I want to know how much worse it could be, maybe it'll help me feel better about it"

....Ok. "Well, if we're going to be quick about this. One of our worst was a dictator named Joseph Stalin. Considered a monster that killed millions upon millions of our own kind, his kind..humans. And many of those deaths being those who followed him"

Starlight's pupils shrunk "That's..." She didn't even know what to say to that.

"Yeah, that's a lot. The guy was considered a monster and yet he was a leader of a country. Pretty bad, huh? I'd go into more details, but just that one seems to have caught your attention."

"Yeah..." She was stunned. "Millions? Really? My gosh, that's even worse than Chrysalis. I-is that, common?"

You shrugged. "It really depends. But for many, there were more ruthless killers and criminals than good people. It's not THAT bad. But anything we do is always a lot worse than what usually happens here. It's not rare. Except for Stalin, he's a rare exception of extreme evil." Maybe you shouldn't have said anything, she looked tense. If you mentioned the mongols or fucking Hitler, her head might explode.

"O-ok then..I...uhh" Starlight was nervous as she looked about. "I...erm.."

And then Sugar Belle appeared with drinks "Hello again! Anon, here's your soda pop!" She served you a really huge glass of soda with a bendy silly straw "And Starlight, a cup of....Starlight? Are you alright?"

"H-huh? OH! Yeah yeah yeah! I'm err" She took a few breaths and tried to act natural "Nervous, that's all...nervous about....tomorrow...morning..eheheh" She chuckled sheepishly.

"Oh, Starlight!" Sugar Belle giggled "You're going to do fine. We all believe in you. I'm sure Anon does too. So don't be a silly pony, ok?"

Starlight slowly nods "Y-yeah, I know"

"Good, now, I'm going to go work on that cinnamon bun. I hope you two have room for it, it's going to be one of my biggest ones!" Sugar Belle seemed proud about it. And you felt that it was going to be one of the best you ever tasted. If it's one thing you could trust about ponies is that if you go by their cutie mark, you can almost always expect top quality.

When she left, you looked upon Starlight.

She looked to you as well. "So, you were never like that..right?"

You shook your head. "No, but most any human doesn't compare to the compassion typical ponies have. Like Sugar Belle or you or our friends. Sorry, I didn't mean to shake you up like that, I was just answering the question"

"I-I know...I know" Starlight took a moment to calm down. "I was the one to ask it so...yeah. I'm never asking anything like that again, just thinking about it makes me feel so...terrible. At least I don't feel too bad about what I did anymore. Wow, Anon, no wonder you took Discord's offer, your world sounds terrible. I was getting more interested after the work on the taser, but I don't think I'm going to worry about that anymore"

"Yeah, I'm not too beat up about leaving. Compared to here? It's pretty poo. But I admit, if it's one thing we did a lot better than ponies, it’s technology. When I get a chance, I'll show you some real cool stuff from my old world. Trust me, it'll be neat."

But she seemed skeptical "Do I even want to see it? Considering what you told me?"

"Trust me, humans also happen to be diverse. There's a ton of cool inventions we made that are really nice and convenient. It'll be neat, promise"

"Hmmmm..." She contemplated on that for awhile. She was reluctant, but she did trust you, and the taser was interesting enough to give it a consideration. "Ok, but only because it's you. Woo, I really don't know how to feel actually. Other than right now I am glad to be a pony who DOESN'T live in your own world and.....Speaking of ponies...I know I said it'd just be one thing, but I really gotta ask this, does your old world have any ponies?"

Oh lordy, you give her a grin. "Do you want the answer to that one? Because it's more than just a yes"

Starlight's eyes went wide for a moment. And then she just put her forehead on top of her hoof as she took a moment to collect herself. "Never mind, Never mind. I don't even want to hear it"

A little after the question, Sugar Belle brought a plate with a huge cinnamon bun on it. It glistened from the melted cinnamon glaze and the white cream that adorned the top of it looked snow white and soft. Oh, and that smell, you could get diabetes from how delicious it smelled.

Sugar Belle smiled at the both of you as she announced that desert has arrived. "I hope you two really enjoy this. I think its one of the best cinnamon buns I've ever made! You'll both love it, promise!"

It was also the biggest you've ever seen. "Oh man, Sugar Belle, this is the best cinnamon bun I've ever seen!"

She giggled, feeling great about the compliment. "Thanks, Anon, but just wait until you bite into it! That's always the best part!"

Starlight was the first to take a bite however. And she let out a soft moan as she slowly chewed. "Oh, Sugar Belle, I don't think any place else in Equestria has anypony who can make a cinnamon bun as good as you. What's your secret?"

"My secret? Well, if I said what it was it wouldn't be a secret anymore, right?" Sugar Belle gave a slight tilt to her head as she smiled at Starlight

"Um, yeah actually. That's right" Starlight realized.

Sugar Belle giggled again "Come on, Starlight, I wasn't being serious. It's just a matter of always ordering the best ingredients from out of town. Flour from Canterlot, sugar from Manehattan. When you bring everything together and know what you're doing, anypony could make something like this."

The best? "That sounds right to me, but how do you afford it?"

"Easy. I make my own food so all my money always goes towards ingredients and maintaining the shop" Sugar Belle answers.

"What about monthly payments on your house and water and stuff?" You ask

"What?" Sugar Belle was heavily confused.

"Oh, Anon. We don't pay anything like that here. No rent, no mortgage, and we're pretty self sufficient on basic needs. And everypony helps one another here. So, yeah, it makes living really cheap and easy" Starlight explains to you.

Oh, that's...wait. How did you not realize that? It was obvious they weren't paying anything even before Starlight reformed. Ugh, you were definitely still a tad scatterbrained at the moment still. "Right, anyway. Let's see how it tastes."

You lean in and take a huge chunk of the cinnamon bun into your mouth. Oh god, it practically melted in there. the cinnamon oozed through your mouth as the soft and fluffy bun tasted fresh and heavenly. And the cream, oh.... "I could live the rest of my life eating this"

"Aww, Anon, I appreciate the compliment. But you don't want to do anything like that. It's very unhealthy." Sugar Belle was very delighted with your reaction, but she felt that she had to give you a motherly reminder.

You just keep chewing through it as you use your soda pop to wash it down. "Then I'm just going to enjoy what I have then, because I can't get enough! It's so good!"

"Well, I'm very glad you both like it. And Starlight? Good luck" Sugar Belle nods.

"Thanks, Sugar Belle. I'll be fine, I promise" Starlight says as she uses her magic to pull you away from the cinnamon bun "Hey, save some for me"

Sugar Belle had another happy little giggle before going off to serve the other ponies about.

"Ok ok, sorry. Got ahead of myself there. But it tastes sooooo good" Your mouth was still watering from how good everything was.

"I know, but you don't want to just dig in like that. You'll get one doozy of a stomach ache." Starlight begins to eat the cinnamon bun in a calmer manner than your own.

"Oh come on, I'll be fine. How can I let something so delicious have a chance to get cold." You dive back into it, and just start munching.

Starlight just rolls her eyes and smiles at your childish endeavor.

After finishing the cinnamon bun. You had decided to return back to your home to see if Discord was there and perhaps see if there was any other friends you could spend time with before the day was over.

You wished Starlight good luck as you spill a little bit of your drink to the ground to make a wide enough puddle to jump through.

"So, are you going to be ok now, Anon?" Starlight asks you

"I think so, I think I got a grip on everything now. You're going to be ok too, right?"

"I'm sure I'll be fine. It's gonna be awkward though. But, I'm sure everything will be ok"

And with a hug and a slight cuddle, you toss your map into the puddle and actually hope that Discord didn't burst Celestia's bubble. Subtle.

After bouncing off your bed, you go towards your floor door and open it up to look around from your room.

Nobody. "Discord? Discord! You down there at all?"

No answer.

When you turn around, Discord is immediately in front of you as you bump your head into him, yell from being suddenly startled, fall back through your floor door, and slam your head as you land on the living room floor. "GYAGH! NGGGH...A-Again?!"

You slowly lift yourself up from the ground as you look upwards at Discord, who was smiling at you from the top side of the floor door, waving.

"..Do you think that maybe for more than one day I can get through it without bonking my head more than once?" Dammit, just...dammit.

"And break tradition? Anon, how terrible of you." Discord grinned. He seemed to be in a pretty good mood at least, did he succeed?

You shake your head a little as you start to rise up on the gravity stairs. "Yeah yeah. So, what happened with Celestia? Did you manage to tell her what's what?"

Discord's reaction wasn't what you expected however. He went from his usual trickster self to being dodgy. Well, that was usually a thing with him too but you'd think he'd be pretty proud for messing with Celestia. "Oh that? That thing I did? I did do a thing about a thing I did. Mhmm, I did"

Wut? "So is that a yes or no? Because Discord, I changed my mind. I decided to let it happen, but under the complete guarantee that Chrysalis herself doesn't get banished. After talking with Starlight, it might be the only way I can reform her. It's bad. But even you have to admit that when you're just down to one friend, it really puts things into perspective, right?"

Discord seemed surprised at your words. Ahh, probably because he was remembering how he reacted with Fluttershy. "Why yes! That's exactly it. Brillaint idea, Anon. As for me, I didn't even see Celestia. I thought it might be a better idea to procrastinate for a day before doing it. You know." He shrugs with a chuckle. "To tease you a little bit. How coincidental that it turns out my course of action turned out to be the right one"

You chuckled at that. It probably would have bothered you had the circumstances hadn't changed. So that's what he was nervous about, huh? Maybe he had a bit of guilt of actually trying to mess with you for once. "Seems so, that's cool. So whatcha doing now?"

"Oh, thinking. Pets seem to be all the rage these days. Almost everypony has a pet of some sort and I was wondering if we should get one too." Discord smirked as he looked over to your window "What do you think? Move him to the front yard, put a leash on him, and call him fido. It'd be adorable"

"The X-captain? HAH! Hold on, Hold on. Let's put him on a chain link and call him Bow Wow! It'll be perfect." You'd have your very own one eyed tentacled chain chomp.

Discord snickered as he pulled up the blind and looked over to the ever waiting X-captain "How about it? Do you want to be our pet dog?"

X-captain had no idea what was going on as he heard none of it. But he instantly flew into a rage from Discord's question. "PET DOG?! NO HI? NO HELLO? BUT AN INSULTING QUESTION?! HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT TO BE DESTROYED?! OPEN THIS WINDOW NOW! I WON'T LET THIS STAND! OPEN THIS WINDOW NOOOOW! I JUST PROCLAIMED THAT I WON'T LET THIS STAND AND YOU'RE MAKING ME WANT TO DESTROY MYSELF BY ALL THIS STANDING THIS TOPIC IS DOING!"

Cripes, you know it was all in fun but this was depressing. Did he ever EVER leave? "Shut up already. Cripes, don't you ever leave to go do something else? Ever?"

"YOU'D LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T YOU? YOU STUPID STUPID HUMAN HORSE! I'LL NEVER LEAVE FROM THIS SPOT! SOONER OR LATER, I'LL GRIND THIS WINDOW GLASS INTO NOTHING AND BRING RUINATION AND DESTRUCTION TO EVERYTHING AND EVERYPONY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He chortled as his tentacles wiggled about before furiously grinding his tongue along the glass....gross.

"Can he even do that?" You look to Discord for confirmation, speaking in a low voice.

"Nope. I haven't the heart to tell him either" Discord tells you, also keeping a low voice.

You just stare at the crazed beholder as he desperately tried to wither the glass into nothingness. It got so sad that you just walked over to the blinds and slowly closed them. "Well, that's enough of that."

"Indeed, I've driven many a being insane. But he ALMOST makes me regret all the fun I used to have back in my prime. So, Anon..." Discord looked to you, curious about your change of heart. He actually produced a pony heart that he changes into a carrot, then starts to eat it "Why the change of heart? IT can't be as simple as somepony giving you some advice"

And yet… "It's actually just that. Starlight made a pretty compelling argument. Being alone sucks. You get really angry and hateful at first, but once that loneliness sets in, well...You're gonna want to have a friend to talk to"

"Ahh, Hmmm, Yes....quite..." Discord was just throwing words out without actually understanding what you meant. "Well, it's your plan, Anon. I don't quite understand it, but if you say it works, then it'll work. Or it'll blow up in your face. Either way, it'll be quite the show." Discord chuckles softly to himself "Possibly one of those season finales you humans get all jittery about"

"Let's not get too meta, Discord. I don't want this to be any kind of finale. I just want things to go smoothly"

"I honestly don't see why you care that much about her, Anon, especially when Fluttershy, and less so, her friends are perfectly viable and not liable to cause utter ruination of your social standing...among other things"

"It's not that far fetched, Discord. Villains keep getting reformed every other attack. I reformed Starlight, and she could have been considered super bad considering she probably could have ended up destroying all of Equestria through time shenanigans....Speaking of which."

Despite you saying you wouldn't go with the plan of heading towards a future where Chrysalis rules. You at least wanted to find out if it existed. Maybe poke Discord for a little info about it. With Chrysalis always going on and on about Equestrian domination, you couldn't help but be curious on what that'd actually look like. "I gotta ask. Did any of those time doors have a future where Chrysalis ruled?"

"Hrn?" Discord looked at you with a blank stare for a moment before laughing. "Oh, Anon, seriously? It's not even happening. I told you before, I only have the door to King Sombrero. And besides, even I wouldn't let you go too far with that obsession of yours. Fluttershy would never let me hear the end of it"

"I-I didn't say anything about looking into it. I just kinda wanted to know if it happened."

"Really? Hrn..." Discord stopped his laughing as he suddenly pulled a rope. The room went dark for a moment before a single light shone on you. You were on a stool in front of a poker table, Discord behind it with a dealer's visor and vest. "My deal..." Discord tossed to you a rather large hand.

First you got a two of diamonds with Flim’s and Flam's face on it. Second was a Jack of Spades, featuring Tirek. Third was Queen of Hearts, With Chrysalis adorned on the front of it; That seemed appropriate. Fourth was King of Clubs, Sombra. Fifth was a....blank card?

"Discord, what is all this?" You pick up the blank card to get a better look at it, but after a moment of holding it, it turns to dust. Ominous. "What was that all about?"

"Oh nothing...really" Discord gives you an evil stare when it came to that card "Nothing" Then he became jovial again as he passed you two more cards "Anyhoo! It should be obvious by now, Anon. Ahh, and let me take that card since it's no longer necessary " He snaps his talons, making the two of diamonds disappear

The new fifth card was the ace of spades, Nightmare Moon. And the replacement first card was a joker, with Discord's face on it. It then became obvious to you what it all meant. "These were the other alternate futures, right?"

"Indeed, and look at that hand. Although a straight never beats..." Discord threw down his hand, which just happened to be a royal flush of a "chaos" suit. Each face card and the ace and ten with his face on it. "A royal chaotic flush"

"That's not even a real hand. Still..." You look at your hand, each card representing a terrible villain. It was depressing actually, that there were multiple Equestrias ruined by all of them. Including a version of Discord, from your guess, that was never reformed. "I didn't realize it was all this bad. I don't even want to know what that disappearing card meant."

"Oh it's not all that bad. That guy on the joker card is quite charming" Discord grins as he picks it up and admires himself through the card.

"You do know in that future, you're probably just tormenting Fluttershy. Right?"

Discord goes from a grin to firm annoyance as he tosses away the card "Killjoy"

"Yeah, well. Ugh, I can't imagine any of these futures even being livable after going through what Flim and Flam did. And you want me to go through Sombra's? Yeah, now I know why nopony wants me dimensional hopping anymore."

"Oh please. I'd be with you this time. Nopony has to know, especially big mouth Chryssy. It'll be fun!" It seems Discord was still on it. Of course he wouldn't listen to anyone when it came to his fun.

"I mean. I guess it could be if it means I don't have a chance of dying. But why not Nightmare Moon? That seems like it would be super fun. I mean, she's probably the most sensible out of anypony else in the deck." Except for one thing. "Erm, aside from her really ridiculously stupid methods of stopping ponies. Hum..." Thinking of that, you now imagine her rule being pretty moronic.. "I mean, what does she even do? Terrorize ponies with evil pranks all day and keep it night all the time?"

"Actually. She's a competent ruler who has tours at the castle. And I believe has a better job market than we do now. But then the bad side is that it is always night, and that does cause a problem with crops and a nasty breakout of carnivorous critters at times." Discord explains. "Oh. Never mind, that doesn't even sound that bad."

It really didn't. It just sounded like a meaner Luna with a chip on her shoulder ruling Equestria.

"You know, aside from the obvious issue with Fluttershy. I'm surprised you have no interest in my future. Just knowing it has me in it should have piqued your interest" He says

You shrug, and then realize that you think you know what his future would look like. And it seemed so obvious, that you thought you'd mess with him a bit. So you grin at him. "You mean the future where everything is topsy turvy? The one where you're usually sitting on your throne in the middle of a random town just watching everything go wrong...and that's it. That one?"

Discord grimaced from your explanation. "Ogh, way to make it sound mundane, Anon. Not my fault that you can't appreciate true vision."

"Dancing buffalo in a tutu is art? Or is that a fetish?"

"Ohhhhh, Anon. Watch who you're talking to" Discord looks at you with burning eyes "Or you'll be walking around town in a tutu"

....Ok never mind. "pfft. Baby..." you say in a low voice.

Discord shuffles the cards with his magic before making them disappear as the lights go out again and you both appear back in your room. "Anon, just so you know. I expect us to go into that future together at some point. Don't ask for my reasons, I won't give them other than the fact it'll be fun. But as you are, in your current state, you're too into that bug to focus on the merry making we would be having during our trip."

You would say it wasn't that bad. But even Starlight noticed it and even rationalized it. "Yeah, well. I'll be over it soon. I probably just need a night's rest to prep myself for what’s going to happen. Still..Are you sure there's nothing else you could do? If you haven't seen Celestia yet, maybe you could at least tell her or convince her that she's part of the family. That way she'd definitely go easy on her even if Chrysalis goes full on psycho. Which she will."

"Well, even if she did. My barrier would make sure nopony actually gets hurt. As for convincing Celestia...mnn" Discord oddly hesitated again. But then after being silent, he smirked and shrugged "She wouldn't listen to that kind of request from me. I am the spirit of chaos after all. She'll just be all straight edge about it. You know that's what she'd do"

You felt like he was trying to dodge Celestia altogether now. Then again, he's probably right. Celestia is pretty dead set on this whole reformation thing without any room for change to it.

It sucked that you had to hope. But it's fine...it'll be fine. "I guess" Then you noticed something else. "Discord, do you just want to do something with me? Like, anything?"

"I would, thanks for asking, considering that since our play on Prince Sissyblood went under, I'd like to make up for it with something else. Oh, And a friendly reminder. Once you agree, there's no turning back." Discord grinned as he started to press his paws and talons among one another.

"Well, I don't really have anything to do at the moment. It's not the Sombra thing, right?"

"As I already said. You're not ready for that yet. But what I have rolled up for us now is good enough."

"Well, what is it?"

Discord grins evilly with a sly cackle as opens the portal door to a desert canyony place with a small western town....wait. "Isn't that Appleoosa? Why would you care about Appleoosa?"

"Appleoosa?...Oh haha, excuse me" Discord shifts the image of the portal towards a bunch of teepees. "There we go"

...Wut? "The buffalo? The dumb indian buffalo? Why are we going to mess with the fucking dumb indian buffalo?"

"Why not? Do you realize how superstitious they are? And they'd NEVER be able to figure out it's us. It's already nearing evening and it'll give us plenty of time to spook them good." Discord says as he puts on a chiefs hat and holds up a tomahawk. "It'll be hilarious!"

"I dunno. Seems pretty easy to me. We could dance around and go 'ooga booga' and they'd probably freak out."

"Don't be the party pooper, Anon. Even the easy to toy with can still have it's entertainment value. Besides, what do you care about them? Have you ever even met one before?"

No...and considering you only ever seen how they act in season 1.... "Ehhhhmmm, no. I never met one. Umm, and you said nopony is gonna find out?"

"As long as we keep our mouths shut..." Discord zips up his mouth as a halo appears above his head.

"Then we'll be totally innocent. Ok, I see. Alright alright. So what's the plan?"

"I don't have one yet" Discord says as he looks towards the portal

Wut? "What?! how are we going to do this if we don't have a plan?!"

"Well, what do you want, Anon?" Discord shrugs "Buffalo are so boring. Their only real use is to have their superstitions prayed upon. Luckily for us that almost anything drives them nuts. A movement of the stars, tremors, spirits appearing out of nowhere. All easy to do, but not the goal I have in mind"

No plan, and yet he had a goal? "What's the goal?"

"To make the entire tribe try to appease their 'Deities' by making a delicious dinner worthy of a king and his little prince"

Wut? ".....You mind not speaking all grandiose there, buddy? Because as I understand it. It just looks like you're trying to get free meal"

Discord raises a single talon in the air "Correction! I'm trying to get us a free dinner while appreciating the culinary arts of a backwater buffalo tribe."

G-gnnn...All that for THAT?! "Don't you realize you could make a free meal with your magic...like you normally do?"

"Whhaaaaat?" Discord slaps his own cheek with surprise to your statement. "Anon, that's not a free meal. I have to expend precious magic to create that meal. Not exactly what I'd call free"

.....GODDAMMIT! "Are you serious?! So using your magic to mess with them until they make us food isn't the same thing?!"

Discord just grins as he sways to and fro with a happy smile. "Nooope. That'd be paying for the entertainment, completely different"

.......Dammit. "Alright...fine. It'll probably be fun. Let's do it..." You didn't sound too excited. But that was only because Discord's logic confounded you.

"Excellent! Let's go investigate the going ons of their tribe. But before we do" Discord holds out a small earpiece towards you and plants it in your ear.

"Gyah!" You nearly fall back, startled. "What was that?! What did you put in my ear?!"

Discord rolled his eyes as he placed one of those things in his ears as well. "Anon, I may not remember everything from Luna's little dreamshow. But I do remember these nifty things you call a 'Codec'. Should we need to desperate, we'll be able to communicate with each other like real super spies. ohhh, I already feel sneaky" Discord grins as he wiggles his talons with his paws and shifts his eyes evilly left and right.

"Oh...hmmm" Well, that was cool in all actuality.

So, there really was no reason to object at this point. He seemed prepared enough for this. And you really did not care too much about the buffalo. So yeah, it could be fun. So you and Discord make way through the portal during the sunset. Ready for another chaotic plan to take shape.

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