• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,464 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 9

You both warp back to Discord's house.

As you both appear. You've already straight lost it as you find yourself uncontrollably laughing.
Discord is looking somber. He just huffs. And looks down at your laughing form. "I'm going to bed Anon"

That just made you laugh all the more. You just giggle and slam your hoof on the floor as Discord hovers through his own door like a ghost. You slow your laughter into giggles and titters. Until you manage to stop. And take a look at his door.

"...hmmnn.." You actually felt a little bad for laughing. But at the same time you reasoned with yourself that it was fine. Discord himself needed to be brought down a peg after messing with you for so long. Still... "...mmm...I wonder what this place even looks like"

You hop up on a couch. It's surprisingly… hard, and lumpy. Or maybe that shouldn't be surprising. You place your hooves on the windowsill and look out the window to help get whatever guilt you had out of your mind. "Geez… It's like some crazy video game dimension out there.."

You see floating islands. Water and even lava flowing every which way. Trees growing upside down and various strange creatures and eldritch horrors flying about.

"...Maybe running out the door wasn't the best idea....geez...glad Discord warped me to the castle..." You continued to stare for awhile. Then back at Discord's door. "...hmmnnn. Eh, I won't let it bother me."

You shrugged off any remaining feelings and looked up at your door. It was still open. "hrn...I wonder"

You shook your rump as you prepared to make a jump "up the stairs"
You jump up. And gravity shifts as you fall upwards into your room....and then downwards onto the floor of your room… onto your head.

"Ngh..geez!..ugh...I guess I deserved that one" You got up and shook your head and gave it a small rub.

You got up on your bed and splayed yourself flat on top of it. It was...comfy. Wow, Discord actually made it comfy… And it was warm. It was an unnatural but very comfortable warmth.
You looked to the right at the bookshelf. It had more books than before. History texts? Math books? And some Equestrian literature among the Daring Do books. Hmm… You wondered why those were there.

You reached over and clamped your hooves on the first Daring Do book and immediately drop it. "Dammit..come on, you can get used to this whole earth pony thing Anon.."

You got off the bed and looked down at the book. You clamped your hooves on it again but it slipped and hit your face. "Agh! Stupid book! I didn't want to read you anyway!"

You huffed and hopped back onto your bed and looked at the ceiling, annoyed. "...I wish I was a unicorn. At least I'd be able to do some normal human things with magic… maybe toss hadoukens… see if rubbing it makes it feel good..."

You roll about, unable to sleep. You were now thinking of the whole tour thing. "And taking a tour? I know the town… Maybe not my way around, but there’s the schoolhouse, Sweet Apple Acres, Sugarcube Corner, town hall, Carousal Boutique, Twilight’s huge fucking castle… and ehhh, some houses, and a place that sells mattresses and quills… and… umm, some stalls… more houses..."

You took a breath. "Also… I lack a cutie mark. Meaning that’s probably all I'm really gonna hear about. ugh, I'm not a baby. Uhh… but I can't really say no. I said a lot of shlock to Applebloom that'd make me look like a real schmuck to her if I flaked out."

You turn to the side. "It'll be fine. It could be fun. Who am I to know, huh? I mean, this is the new world! Equestria! Who knows what can happen?...mmnn..."

You thought about Discord again. "......sorry for laughing at you...I guess..." With that, your eyes begin to grow heavy.

You didn't even need to get in the quilts. the magical warmth that enveloped you from the bed was enough to keep you soothed and comfortable.


The night passes to the day. In your sleep, you can feel a prod and a poke, making you jerk and slowly awaken. "Dad..don't do that..that's annoying.."

You feel more poking. "Dad stop, come on."

"Dad? is he alright Applebloom?"

you feel more shaking, and voices… "Ah dunno, ah hope he wasn't sleeping in the clubhouse all night. It gets really cold"

"...Dad?" you murmured

"Boy, he sure is a heavy sleeper.."

Those voices...those weren't Discord. You immediately open your eyes. Seeing three familiar fillies over you.

"GYAAAH!" You jump backwards and drag yourself along your back to a corner. "WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING IN MY ROOM?!"

All three of them. Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. Were confused and looked around until Applebloom looked at you as if you were a little nuts. "Your room? Anon...this is our clubhouse."

What?! You look around, nothing was familiar. Actually scratch that. It was..but it wasn't your room. "....Of course he would have done that… Why not..." You calm down and rest your back along the wall.

Sweetie Belle looks to Applebloom and whispers "Is he ok? You didn't give him the clubhouse did you?"

Applebloom shook her head "Nah, I didn't. Ah just wonder why he thought we were his dad."

Scootaloo chimed in "Maybe he's craaaaaaazy"

You point to Scootaloo and react angrily "Hey! I heard that!"

Scootaloo snapped back "Well you know this place isn't yours right? You can't just take it you know!"

"I didn't take it! I just ended up here! I Thought it was my room!" You and Scootaloo locked eyes. You were still angry that Discord just threw you into the wolves...err....fillies. Without even a "Good morning" or a breakfast.

Applebloom got in the middle of both your gazes "Hey now, ah think this might just be one biiiig misunderstanding. There's no need to fight."

Sweetie Belle nodded "Besides, you can't fight the customer...then he won't want to take the tour!"

Scootaloo suddenly calmed herself and blinked, realizing her own foolishness "Oh right..haha..I forgot"

...You can't be serious with this…

"Anon, what are ya doin here anyway?" Applebloom asked you

"I dunno, I was sleeping on my bed. And then I woke up here."

Sweetie Belle rubbed the bottom of her muzzle "Sudden changes in locations? That sounds like a mystery to me."

Scootaloo joined in "Yeah, that's really weird. I've never heard of something like that happening"

Sweetie Belle went into deep thought "Hrmmm… Maybe if we can solve the mystery! We can get our Cutie Marks in Detectiv..viv..ing"

Scootaloo smiled and agreed "Yeah!"

Applebloom turned to them, gestured them to calm themselves "Hold on girls! We still gotta try being tour guides first!"

They both look to her. "Oh, right." They say at the same time.

You put a hoof to your face and shake your head. "...This is gonna be a long day."

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