• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,515 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 72

The next day comes. You awake in your bed with a yawn. "What time is it? Ugh… Why don't I just get a fucking clock..." Then you widen your eyes as you realize something from the morning before. You quickly hop out of bed. You look at your bed, smirk, and laugh at it "Ha! not this time!"


You close your eyes and smile wide that you managed to beat out the bed overturning. But… it didn't turnover at all even after, not even to press on you for being smug… that didn't feel right. "Ok, really… what time is it?" You walk over to the portal door and open it… The sun was barely rising up in the horizon. It was early morning. "Well… will you look at that."


You yawn, and take admiration in yourself for getting up earlier than expected. "I wonder how much time this leaves me… hrn." Taking initiative, you decide to pack up for the day. You open your lunchbox to see what food Fluttershy packed you. Grass sandwiches? Grass? Uhhhh… Yeah ok fine. Though the grass itself seemed to be dying at this point.


Not taking any chances. You just open your floor door and toss the sandwich's as if it was a garbage shoot. Not like Discord was going to care. You continue sifting through your saddlebag as the events of yesterday start to flow through your mind. Slowly killing your mood. "Right… Applebloom and Diamond Tiara… fuck. hmmm..."


You find the Sombra horn in your saddlebag and eye it for a moment. Curious. "I wonder how much power does this baby even have? Would be nice to dues ex machina my way out of this."


You decide to put it on. Like before, it latches onto your head and becomes a unicorn's horn matching your coat. You look out the portal door. "If I could just turn back the clock or something. That would be perfect. Make sure this fucking shit never happens."


You look at yourself in the mirror then tap your horn. "I can even feel it. Damn, Discord's magic is fucking amazing sometimes I swear… I wonder… can I turn back time?" You look through the portal door, you can already see a few ponies about, Beginning their day. "Hmmnnnn.."


You lower your head, aiming your horn towards the portal door. You weren't sure what was going to happen. You were doing this on a whim. Either you were going to shoot a beam, or something would float, or some shit. You were sure as long as you didn't say any anime bullshit, nothing was gonna die. "Ok… come on… let's do it..."


The horn started to glow as you concentrated harder and harder, you could feel an odd tingling in your body as the horn began to glow brighter and brighter. "This… this feeling… a-am I doing it? H-holy shit, I think I'm doing it!"


You raise your head up, you can see light shifting through the door. and as you raise your head higher, you can see the sun, then the moon, then the sun, moving backwards. "O-oh shit..too far..too far!" You throw your head up, the horn popping off and changing back as it flies to the back of the room.

It was now night


"H-holy shit… I..I turned back time… but… by how far? O-oh shit… I di..wha?" The ponies that were on the roads were still there, now they were screaming, panicking, and running back into their homes as if the sky was falling.


"Oh… I… I didn't… turn back time at all… ummm..." You slowly close the portal door. "That didn't happen right?" You gently crack the door back open. You can still hear panicking.


"........" You close the door


You try putting the horn back on, maybe you could fix it? It won't go back on your head as a unicorn horn, it simply lights your eyes an evil green with red pupils as darkness flows from your mane. It's spent for the day.


"....." You take off the horn and crack open the portal door again.

Still Panicking. You close the door


"....." Well… it seems you really did it this time. You had moved the sun and the moon. You didn't realize the horn had THAT much power… worst still, you couldn't fix it. The horn was spent.


"Ok… relax.. It's not like this can't be fixed. Celestia or Luna can fix this. and nobody will be the wiser.." You slowly open the door again


"DISCORD HAS TURNED EVIL AGAIN! EVERYPONY RUN!" Screams one of the flower mares. Roseluck you think.


You close the door. "Fuck..." Well then, that's just fucking perfect. "Fuck fuck… as if I didn't already have problems on my plate, I didn't think that would fucking go back to Discord… goddammit!" You just realized you REALLY fucked up by putting his reputation at risk


You open your floor door and rush down the gravity stairs, screaming out for Discord. "DISCORD! DISCORD! WE GOT A PROBLEM!" No answer. "DISCORD! DISCORD!"


You run down an apparent corridor and see multiple doors, you rush up to one of the doors and open it, only to be greeted by huge flames and the distant sounds of trains. "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!"

Holy fuck. That's scary.


The room where he had the model train set… was still burning… You slam the door shut and continue yelling. and try another door. You open the door, and see yourself looking through a door, only to see yourself looking through a door, only to see yourself looking through a door, etc. etc. Goddammit, this house… anywhere beyond the living room was pure fucking madness.


You slam the door shut. hearing multiple shuts in tandem behind it. "Where the fuck is he?! DISCORD!"

Still no answer.


You rush back into your room, and open the portal door. The sun… was back in it's position. But some of the ponies still looked freaked. You grab the horn and put it in your saddle bag. You couldn't let Discord take the blame for this. Fuck, you were really fucking up recently.


You could already see Mayor Mare coming out of town hall trying to calm the ponies in the area.
Ugh… you had to go see Twilight. She was the highest up, and you could explain to her what happened. You didn't want to at all. But a simple zap of magic put the entire town into chaos. And she'd be the only one they'd believe and look up to when it came to clearing Discord… Because goddamn, they all just blame Discord just because the sun and moon went nuts.


You make the preparations to leave immediately, even making sure the now inert horn was put into your saddle bag. "Dammit dammit… I just wanted to turn back time a little." You look through the open portal door. "How is Twilight even going to react? She's going to be pretty pissed that Discord would give me such a powerful fucking thing. How's Discord gonna react? I can't even think.."


You have to nip this right in the bud, no matter the consequences. You'll deal with it. You're a big boy. You grimaced at the flak you would soon receive. You wondered if you even had to do this? Discord could easily explain that he had nothing to do with it… the problem is anyone believing him.


You gave one last sigh. One mistake and the whole town just, fucking, ahh whatever. You jump through the portal and head off to Twilight's Castle, you didn't even need the map, the damn thing was huge.


You reach the front doors. There were no ponies about bashing the doors… not yet anyway. good good. Then again, they probably haven't thought of coming to Twilight yet to deal with the "issue"


You push through the doors and rush inside… you just push through the doors..and... "She needs to get better security. Really, leaving the doors unlocked?"

You rush into the Cutie Map room. No sign of Twilight or Spike. You didn't have time to explore the entire castle.


You take a deep breath. "TWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTT" No answer. "TWIIIIIIIIILIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHTTTT"


This time, there was an answer. But not from her, it was from Spike. Who was coming through from another doorway, he had a little nightcap on, and a quill in his claw. "Who's in here? Rainbow Dash? Pinkie Pie?" Then he turns towards you "Hey, it's… you. Did you see what was going on outside too?"


You hesitantly nod.

"Yeah… wait, hey. Why are you here? You can't just go bursting into other ponies castles you know… I told Twilight we need royal guards here, but she won't listen." Spike said as he yawned.


Seems you weren't the only one with the thought. But also, he didn't seem to have an answer himself as to the reason you'd be barging in. Maybe not everybody was auto blaming Discord. Hrn… "I… came to… well… what do you think caused the sun and moon to move like that?"


Spike shrugged "Beats me, it's usually Discord when something crazy happens like this… But it can't be him."

It can't? Why...?


"Why can't it be Dis-..dad?"


"He's upstairs with Twilight."


What?! "Why?"


Spike looked at you with his eyebrow cocked "Uhhhh… she's your social worker… duh. You went to school yesterday right? I know you did, I do handle the paperwork you know" He was giving you a snarky tone.


"Yeah but..what does that have to do with anything?"


"According to Twilight, she had to make sure it was really you in the school, and then she needed to know if you caused any trouble, if Discord helped you with your school supplies… stuff like that. Apparently the only thing you did wrong was leave some holes in the ground. What were you doing anyway?"


Holes in the… oh that's right… you never actually… filled those holes back up. And Discord was here? Why? How? You didn't have any indication he was going to be here at all. "I was gem hunting.."


Spike was in disbelief, he eyed you from your head to your hooves. He didn't see you as the gem hunting sort. "Yeah… you might want to leave that to Rarity, she's the best gem hunter in all of… everything."


You could practically see hearts in his eyes when he said that.

"Fine fine… but, why exactly is my Dad here so early? Explain that to me"


"Well, Twilight has been pretty busy you know. And now she has to keep tabs on you and Discord every so often so she can make sure you don't end up, I dunno, exploding or something. And since she's so busy, she thought she'd get today's check in done early in the morning. Discord didn't tell you about the letter Twilight sent him yesterday morning?"


"No, he didn't say anything about it"


"Hrn, weird" Spike shrugged "Well, Twilight only wanted to see him for this check up anyway. Everything seems to be going ok so far, he's even saying that Fluttershy can back up everything he's saying since you apparently went to her cottage before leaving AND went to tell her how your school day went… so… uhh… Can she back up everything he's saying? Hrrrnnn?" Spike looked deeper into your eyes, trying to use whatever skills he may have had to see if you were going to lie.


Ulterior motive to everything… though. You were sure seeing Fluttershy wasn't part of his scheme . It more or less worked in his favor. "Yeah, she can. I met with Aunt Fluttershy before and after school."


"Aunt Fluttershy" Spike quivered where he stood "I'm never gonna get used to that. It makes Discord and her sound… Egh.."


You needed to have a chat with Discord now. You didn't know if he knew what happened with the sky. But you needed to tell him about it before anyone else… and ask why he didn't tell you about this at all. "It's not that bad. It's not like she's my mom. It's just my Aunt, sort of… not by blood."


"Yeah but that makes Discord and Fluttershy sound like brother and sister. That's kinda gross.."

You didn't find that unsettling at all. Probably because you know by experience that Fluttershy sometimes has to tell him off like he was a mischievous little brother..


"Yeah… hey, can I talk to my Dad?"


Spike nods "I guess, he's up stairs with Twilight. Come on, follow me. This place is pretty big and it's really easy to get lost."


"Alright, lead on" You start following Spike as he leads you through the castle.


"So, uhh, I heard something pretty interesting." Spike says as he leads you down a corridor.


"What's that?"


"I kinda heard that you got Rarity these super rare gems. I heard she was pretty happy about it too" Spike sounded a little jealous there.


Hrnnn… where was he going with this? Mnn..you just wanted to get this over with. "You mean the Radiant Gems? Yeah, I helped her out with that… what about it?"


"Ahh nothing, I mean, if she was happy about it, that's all well and good. And since you're here I'd just thought I'd ask… and… well… I get this feeling you're able to get stuff other ponies couldn't just because of who your dad is… and I was wondering if you would know of any other things Rarity would really… really need"


Oh fuck no... "No..."


Spike turns to you, He was befuddled by your response. "What?! Come on! When I asked her if I could get her anything, she told me I'd have no way of getting those gems from the Crystal Empire and back. And yet you somehow managed it in no time at all! What's your secret Anon… Tell meeeee! I really need to know, come on, do me this solid!"


You didn't even know him enough to do him this "solid". And he was obviously only thinking of Rarity. You wondered how long he's been waiting to ask you these questions. "Spike… honestly. Look, I got a door at my house that takes me straight to the Crystal Empire for some reason. And Dad gave me a ton of bits. That's how I did it."


"WHAT?! That's it?! That's all… really convenient… and huh.." Spike started to rub his chin "You said Discord gave you all that cash?"


You didn't like where this was going… "Yeah… why?"


"Well… we're good friends right?"


No.


"Spike… the first time we met, you weren't being all too friendly. Then the other time was business. I'm going to be honest, I don't think we can call each other good friends."


"Oh come ooonnn! Do you know how much I could impress Rar… ahrm, help Rarity with her work if I could travel around like that?"


You weren't in the mood to mess with him. Because right now would be the perfect opportunity. "Look, maybe… can we just go see my dad?"


"Maybe… Is that a yes maybe? A no maybe? A maybe maybe?"


You sigh "I'll think about it"


And Spike takes it as a yes. "Great! You won't regret it! Oh and.."


Spike moves next to you and wraps his arm around you as he gives you a cool and suave look. "If you ever need any advice… that, you know, nopony else can give you. then you can come to me anytime you want. My castle is your castle."


You raise your eyebrow at him. "Isn't this Twilight's castle?"


"Y-yeah, but you know. I live here too, it still sort of, kind of counts as mine.."

Ok, it was a little funny now. if only a little pathetic. Poor guy thinks he might actually have a way to win over Rarity. Even if you did let him use your doors and such. Rarity would probably only ever see him as a baby dragon and friend. You might as well throw him a bone, if only so you can get him back to taking you to Discord and Twilight.


"Well, I appreciate that Spike. Next time we get a chance, we should hang out. But for right now… can I see my dad? Like, now?"


Spike nods and goes back to the front to lead the way "Course! we're almost there… And yeah, we should hang out. Whenever you want Anon. You can show me all the cool stuff you got."


"Right.."

Spike, so far, that you can think of. probably had the least pure reasons for wanting to hang with you. Even if he was going to hang out, his end goal was clear. And yet, you didn't care, you just wanted to talk to Discord.


And so Spike led you upwards through hallways and stairs until you reached a door… presumably the one with Discord and Twilight behind it… Here we go. Just speak to Discord alone. Tell him what happened. And see how things can be worked out… because you didn't want to lose that horn… that thing might prove to be useful… if you can just get a better handle on it.

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