2506310

I think it would be better if you sent me a pm with an explanation. Otherwise it just leaves me confused.

Hey I need some Help

Ech.

2362883

I liked the story for different reasons. It started with how Twilight made a grave mistake. A mistake he suddenly should get found guilty upon. Then how he tricked the Princess to actually show it wasn't his fault. This brought him in an interesting position. He gained a positive image, while spreading doubts about the Princess and her student. It gave me the feeling that he would also be some kind of rebellion character. Some of the good kind with his Diamond Dogs that might help others while tricking the Princess and slowly showing them and everyone around them her faults, causing others to join him. You know, kind of like Darth Vulcan if you heard of that fic. Maybe less evil though, but kind of in a way like that with how Malus exposed their faults.

The last two chapters then of course didn't fit in with my expectation, since he started killing guards like it was a sport for example. Not to mention that this rebellion that I thought would happen was cut short.

So I think the story had potential, but sadly didn't use its full potential in my opinion. I hope this critique helps you.

Thanks for adding Lord of Bones to your bookshelf. What do you like/dislike about it?

2344848 oh ok

2344373

I wasn't aware of your progress. I will try to look at it tomorrow.

2344361 oh ok and what do you think of the monster at white oak woods

2344327

The first chapter of the Buggy story is rather short. I was thinking about completing a second chapter first before publishing it. But I might be able to do it next week if my studies are not getting in the way.

2320671 so...

2343399

Considering how few the mistakes are I don't think it is that much of a problem. I mean you managed to write a story and still make it enjoyable even after that much chapters! Something I'm still trying to achieve to be honest. So, I'm already intrested to read further and see how everything will play out!

Yeah, I won't lie, I could've made that reveal a little better to counter-argue against. Another mistake to learn from.

2320671 a displaced story
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/348393/the-monster-at-white-oak-woods

2320668

Help? Help with what exactly?

2320665 well ok and i need help

2320664

Yup?

You know, I think I might simply publish the Buggy chapter I have next week, considering all the thinking the past months didn't get me anywhere.

2206947 bro?

hi

Thanks for the favorites!

2206947 cool