• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,515 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 15

You both reappear back at the house. Out of your "classy" apparel. After adjusting yourself from the flash of light. You look at Discord. Now that it was just you and him, you wanted to try one last time to reason with him. In anyway necessary.

"Why, WHY?! Do you realize that I was actually befriending Applebloom and her friends. You do know that Diamond Tiara is their enemy. Right?"

"And?" Discord said in a light hearted tone as he whimsically waved his paw to get the oven going.

And… AND?! "Y-you can't believe this is a good punishment! If Applebloom and the others see me with her. What are they going to think?!"

Discord gave you a gentle rub on the head "Well, that's why you tell them. You don't keep things from your friends."

You stepped back and pushed his paw away. "And you think they are going to be thrilled with this?"

Discord shrugged "I don't know. But if they are your friends then they'll understand that it's just a punishment and probably just feel sorry for you. Anon, I thought you were a logical adult. Yet here you are acting like a little child." Discord poofed a rattle in his talons and held it towards you "Here, this will help you feel better" He shook it "See! it makes a happy little noise"

You swatted it away, like reflex. But… he was right. You were just upset. But still, even if THEY did understand. you still had to deal with DT.

Discord just gave you a smarmy grin. "Sorry,Perhaps you wanted a pacifier?"

"Can't you be serious for a second?! I'm trying to have a conversation with you! Stop treating me like i'm some kid!"

Discord sighed and produced a mirror right in front of you "Tell me what you see, Anon"

"What does that have to do with anything?!" You try to shove the mirror away. But it just stays in place no matter the force.

"Just take a peek. It's not going to bite you"

You grumble, fine. whatever. Not like he was going to let you do anything else. You take a look, and see that you were flustered, with an angry scowl on your face. "Ok… all I see is me. And?"

"Closer… Look closer Anon"

Nmmm..he was probably just baiting you for some kind of mirror trick. a monster or a cheap scare. You stood at the ready as you took another look, but you only saw yourself being angry and upset. "Still just me."

Discord started to get impatient "Yes andddd? Do you notice anything?"

...Only that… ohh...

"...Why couldn't you just tell me I was throwing a tantrum? This cryptic nonsense is getting real old, real fast."

Discord bent down to you, to meet you at eye level as he pushed the mirror away. "Anon. Just take a moment and think. Instead of being petty and immature. Why not be nice and caring? Don't you think Diamond Tiara could use a good friend such as yourself? To help her mend her bullying ways?"

You rolled your eyes at him. "Nooooo… I see it as being a gigantic bother. When the hell did you become so moralistic anyway?"

"It's not about being moralistic Anon, If you could see outside your own narrow scope of the world you are used to. Then you'd be able to see that I'm not all pranks and tricks. That deep inside, I am actually capable of the things Fluttershy says i'm capable of. I'm not exactly sure what those things are but I DO have an inkling at what they might be. That's why you are perfect for practicing on. You're a child without any of the effects of "trauma"."

Your eyes widen.....so thats the reason. "So...That's why you cho-"

Discord quickly reached for your muzzle and closed it. his talons turning into a rope as he rolled his eyes at you, annoyed "Anon, if I have to hear the whole "So you're just using me" speech, I think I'll literally hurl. Again, try to think outside that narrow scope of yours. Without me and my good graces, you wouldn't be here to enjoy Equestria. I mean, you didn't even want to be friends with Applebloom and now you're friends with her whole group despite your human bumbling. So please, spare me your tired words. You're using me just as I am using you. Otherwise you would have truly wanted to go home by now. now..." Suddenly, the oven beeps "Your dinner is ready..."

You look at the oven as it opens on its own and a large strawberry cheesecake comes out of it… it looked… delicious.

"Now, before I let you eat. Are we at an understanding? Can we just try to get along and you be a cute, cuddly, little colt? I'm not asking you to be an angel Anon, I'm asking you to just play nice… when necessary of course. Expecting you to be an actual goody two shoes would make me ashamed to be your father, ehehe. Now, you can do that for me, right Anon?"

You pondered and thought. No wonder he was always ahead of you. You were being angry, stubborn, and downright edgy. Instead of thinking logically. Or maybe you were wrong. You couldn't be sure. You were wrong about the CMC though. He had a point. But you knew if he didn't have Fluttershy, then he wouldn't have had as much as an upper hand as he does now… maybe… probably… hopefully? You had to control your temper better and think things through… It's not as if he was being cruel to you at least. Still… you had to ask him one thing.

You nodded to him, and pointed to the rope, so he could remove it.

"Good, let's get this off of you." He waved his paw. Making the rope change back to a talon as it appears in it's proper place.

You look up at him, and sigh. "Ok… I get what you are saying. But can you ease up on messing with me a little? I probably wouldn't get so miffed if you weren't scaring me half to death all the time"

"Only half? I could have sworn it was three quarters.." Discord chuckled

You point at him with your hoof, aggravated with his response. "See, that. That right there. you don't think messing with me like that isn't going to tick me off?

Discord gave your head a gentle rub as he rubbed his nose with his talon. "I fail to see the issue, you didn't seem to have qualms with messing with poor princess Twilight."

You stop… shit that’s right… that was fun. "Y-eah… but, we both were doing that."

Discord nodded "Right..we were. So are you telling me you can't handle what you dish out? That suddenly I shouldn't have fun with you every now and again?"

At first those words weared you down… but then you realized the one thing he always love to say. and look at him back with a cocky grin of your own. "Well duh, I am your son… Dad."

Discord didn't react the way you expected, instead he picked you up and gave you a hug "That's my boy! using your noggin' to try and outhink your good ole' dad"

"Does that mean you'll ease off?"

Discord laughed and put you down "Ohohohohaha… Oh heavens no, but I'm proud that you tried to reason with me. Now then..." Discord gently raised you with his magic and placed a small seat under you as the cheesecake appeared before you with a table. "Eat up. It may look deceptively like junk food. But it's filled with everything a growing colt needs. So please..enjoy!"

Dammit. He won't listen to reason… Fine,you'll just play along for now. As usual. But at least he admitted to the symbiotic relationship of it all. You looked at the cheesecake… it sure smelled nice. You gave it a tap. "Can you at least be honest with me and tell me there's nothing actually wrong with this?

Discord nodded "Of course there isn't. Now eat up and hop yourself to bed. We've got a semi busy day tomorrow."

Woah hold on..what? "What? But..I still have to talk to Applebloom and...apologize to Scootaloo and stuff.."

"And you will. It's not as if I'm going to take you away all day. We just have somewhere to be for awhile. Anon, stop worrying. If it makes you feel any better. I'll make sure everything will be fine for you tomorrow, alright?"

You look at him. with a half frown. You wanted to know if he was being truthful. "No lie? you mean it?"

"...Hmm… How did that rhyme go again? Ahh yes... Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." A Pinkie Promise...thats a good place to start.

"...Thank you.." You look down at the cheesecake and grab a chunk greedily with your hooves and take a bite… oh boy… it tasted great. "...so, what exactly are we doing to-...oh...you're gone"

You look up to see Discord had vanished off somewhere the moment you indulged yourself in some dinner. "...See ya tomorrow Dis… Dad..."

You eat and munch on your dinner until it's all gone and get up to go to your room. You were sure the plate and table would take care of itself. You took a stretch and looked down at the book you dropped the other night.

You stare at it for just another moment before you tried picking it up with your hooves again. Unlike a cup, a book was still beyond your understanding. "Still didn't want to read you.."

You hopped up on your warm bed and laid to your side and closed your eyes. "...Just relax Anon, you'll get this all figured out eventually. You wanted to come to Equestria to live a happier life… Eh, so it's not as simple as you thought it'd be. But hey. What is? At least you got an advantageous, if headache inducing start… right? ..That’s ok right?... eh… mmnn… I'll be fine..."

You drift off to sleep… Tomorrow is another day.

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