• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 154

You sleep as normal

Or...you thought you were

You felt as if the bed was rough and cool. Instead of warm and nuzzly.

You shiver and reach for your blanket, in which there is nothing to grab.

You slowly open your eyes
"...ugh Discord...come o-"

Your eyes go wide when you immediately notice you were outside. Nothingness around you as a planet floated over head...was that?

You quickly stand up and look around yourself, nothing but grey rock and craters.

.....you immediately figured out where you were, or where you thought you were.
"Am I...on the moon?"

You look around for Discord as you recollect your thoughts.
"Discord...Yo Discord? What the he-....wait a second"

You remembered your last action before ending up on the moon.
"...I went to sleep. And this is the moon. And..I haven't even seen Discord since he popped back in Canterlot....This isn't Discord"

You look around, it could only be the work of one other pony.
"Princess Luna! Heeeey!"

You call out for her, but....still no answer.
"Come on now, I just figured out I'm asleep. And I don't usually do the whole lucid dreaming thing. I know you gotta be here somewhere."

Indeed, normally, you have no control of yourself or the dream around you when you sleep. But you could feel the dust under your hooves, the slight weightlessness of your body, and you could say your own words. You weren't randomly on the moon. Someone had to be here.

You continue searching along the surface of the moon. Holding in any panic until you were sure you were alone and even possibly awake.

it was...actually really pretty. Shooting stars, the beauty of the planet above, a blanket of constellations, and best of all, breathable air.

and as beautiful as it was, it was also really lonely.

man....you couldn't imagine keeping your sanity here for longer than a couple of weeks.

Your trek continued for a little while longer until you finally found her. That dark blue, starry night mane. that lunar cutie mark among the darkness of night, that majesty. Luna stood ahead of you, looking up at the planet.

You carefully approached her. Now that you knew you were dreaming, you stayed at caution in case she decided to try to freak you out. You couldn't think of reason why she would. But you never know.

"Good Evening Anon, you needn't be afraid. I do not plan to scare you. Nightmare Night has ended."

You stopped as she spoke. She wasn't going to scare you? Ok..good. But, what was with just standing there? Why not just turn around then or have the dreamscape be in a more cozy spot?

"Hi..erm..Princess Luna. Can I ask why we're on the moon?"

"I thought it an appropriate spot." Luna just continued to look upwards to the planet "..It is a place where one who was appropriately judged to be a threat was sent to once"

......oh boy
"You mean you, right? When you became Nightmare Moon?"
...something about this, it was, it felt, really eerie.

"Indeed, I do mean myself. Hence why this place is most appropriate for your evaluation"

"Evaluation? What do you mean? I thought we were just gonna talk."

"We are..." Princess Luna finally turned around. Her expression was that of a regal ruler, ready to judge those who may have committed a crime. "We'll be doing both"

oh...what the fuck brought this on?
"But why an evaluation? Your sister seemed pretty ok with me. This isn't about where I'm from, is it?"

"It's much more than that. Understand this, Anon. If you are of just heart then there is nothing to fear. But I cannot let you continue living in Equestria when you have demonstrated ill intent, falsehoods, and cruel tendencies.Not without an evaluation at least."

....oh fuck, what!? Why the hell is she being so serious? You thought this really was gonna be some sort of social visit.
"Come on..."
you were going to be calm, and try to reason with her some of those points.
"I couldn't just tell the truth. There was a lot at stake and I was kept on a leash. But, even with my lying, I also always meant what I said. My friends are my friends, and I'd give my life to protect them. As for cruel tendencies and stuff...do you mean what I did to Twilight?"

"I mean everything you've done that can be considered that of malice..."

As she says this, many doors start to spring up. Including a few that are locked.

You look around, a little startled from the doors that were springing up.
"W-what are these? What's up with the doors?"

"These doors leads into your memories. I have not looked into them all. Only the ones that have the symbol that matches your cutie mark."

Matches your cutie mark?
You walk towards one of the doors....yeah, a few of them had your mark on them. The rest however, were normal looking or locked with some pretty strong looking padlocks.

"You may open one if you wish to see what I mean."

....so you do
You open one of the doors. Inside you see a memory.
It's when you threw Snips and Snails for a spin back in the barn. You could see it as if you were a spectator to the very event.

....oh shit, she's been peeping inside your head. for reals.

You wondered if she knew about Chrysalis. That was a secret only Celestia and you should know. Maybe that memory was behind one of those locked doors?
"..I see...so uh..what's up with the locked doors?"

"Those are memories you wish to keep far away from anypony. I have not tried to peer through them as they usually contain memories most dear and as such, must not be tampered with so lightly. Those other doors were enough."

....hopefully then, one of those doors had the changelings behind it.
"So you looked into these chaos doors? Come on Princess Luna, these don't make me evil. Whatever you saw was me just doing things out of necessity or having a little fun. Nopony got hurt."

"Perhaps, but the way you conduct yourself through these memories doesn't match what your peers think of you. Many have come to know you as the "Hero Colt". And yet that too is a lie; a lie you and Discord has since kept. Would you mind explaining that?"

oh....dammit. you knew there was a good reason you were getting sick of that being brought up.
"We kept up the lie because it made him look good, in which him looking good meant Aunt Fluttershy wouldn't have to deal with other ponies telling her and harassing her that she's hanging out with some jerk. Being the father of an adopted hero tends to get you all kinds of respect. I feel bad that it's a con, yeah. But if it means Aunt Fluttershy benefits, then I'm all good."

Luna never dropped her regal stance. She was going to take this all the way. It was quite the contrast from when you saw her in the bath. But maybe she didn't take it all too well from learning the truth about you.

" "Aunt" Fluttershy. Even when I know the truth, you still refer to her as your aunt?"

"Well, yeah. Like I said. I actually care about her. Even though she doesn't know the truth of it all, she treats me like i'm her family. So yeah, If it means her being happy, then I'm all for it"

"But if you could tell her the truth, would you do it?"

"........." You had to think about that for a moment, you had to choose your words wisely.
"I mean, yeah, course I would. But I can't. It'd break her heart to know it was all just a lie. Besides, it's not like my old body exists anymore. So it's not a complete lie either."

"Because you were reborn, hmnnn. I suspect my sister has already had a similar discussion with you that lead to that reasoning.” Luna seemed to take a moment to deeply reflect on that. “Curious, I may have to ask her a few things tomorrow. Well then...moving on"

All the doors close and sink into the moon.
"Come Anon, let us walk and talk. Even in the dream world, standing idly for too long can give one quite an ache in the legs."

Luna began to walk past you, expecting you to follow. You do so.
"Anon, do you miss your old home?"

"Earth? Not too much, there were a few cool things I left behind yeah. But after living in Ponyville, it all seems pretty empty now."

"How so? Isn't there somepony you miss? Or would go back to had you the chance to go back?"

That question sounded a little loaded. Or more so, it made you sound like you didn't enjoy being plucked out of your world by Discord.
"No, there's nopony,or rather, no one worth going back to. Friendship and warmth isn't something humans do really well in the time and age I live in. Nowhere at the level Equestria has it anyway."

"And you value those things?"

You nod
"I do, I know it sounds dumb considering how those doors made me look. And I admit, I had a lot of fun causing a little trouble, especially during Nightmare Night. But I also enjoy snuggling, or helping my friends out of a jam, like when the Flim Flam brothers scammed us earlier."

"So why not focus on those things? You needn't be a troublemaker as well"

Now hold on, was she actually expecting you to not be able to enjoy being a little bit of an ass? Well, being an ass isn't a good thing. But you came to like it, especially after last night. It was fun messing with Twilight, it was fun messing with the brothers and beating those griffons. And furthermore , by admission of her own journal, she was capable of being a trickster as well. Maybe not as big as her sister, but still.

"Now hold on there Princess. I know this is an evaluation and all. But you REALLY can't expect me to change who I am for the sake of pure goodness. I'm Discord's partner,friend, and son. And I actually like causing some chaos now and again."

"Only because of his influence on you. I remember descriptions of you being rather meek unless there was a pressing matter at hand, now you actually enjoy causing chaos?"

"Only if it's fun and harmless. You know, like you and your sister"

"What do you mean?"

...you wondered, this was a dreamscape. If Scootaloo could fly around within it. Maybe you could make some visual examples.

"I mean things like this..."
You show a few moments you could remember of Celestia being a troll. And even create a few images of others being rather tricky or wrong.
"...Unless you're going to tell me none of this happened"
Checkmate. Screw her evaluation. Her sister may have been the previous holder of the Element of Laughter, but Luna, according to the journal, had pulled pranks herself. You wouldn’t let her escape her hypocrisy.

"So....this is your counterargument?"Luna was looking around at it all, but her expression didn't change.

"It is, everypony has a little bit of chaos in them Luna. From..."
You make a "Lesson Zero" Twilight appear
"Even Equestria's golden girl here has her moments. As long as I don't become an evil jerk, then it shouldn't be a problem."

"Anon, what if you were to delve deeper into chaos?"
Suddenly, a dark shadowy you appears over a small illusion of Ponyville.
"Would you be able to resist the temptations of conquering Equestria with that power your father gave you? I've seen the surface of your dreamscape. I know what horrors you could conjure"

The dark version of you shoots a black energy into Ponyville, utterly destroying it as the shadow form laughs maniacally.

That's some 80s style cartoon tactics she was using. But that's something you had. knowledge of cartoon cliches and tropes. She was either trying to deter you from chaos altogether or she just wanted to know you'd be responsible with your power. She knew that you weren't as much as a pussy as you were in your first days in Equestria.

"You assume I'd let the power go to my head. Princess, I don't know if you know or not. But the horn is just one use a day. So even if I did go mad with power. It wouldn't last."

"But what if your power was absolute?"

"Even if it was, I can't see myself destroying everypony I care about just to conquer the world."
And now you wondered. Why all these questions? Was she really afraid you were going to go off the rails? Did she really just want to send you back? Was it an evaluation? This was starting to become confusing.
"Princess Luna, can I ask you a question?"

Luna nodded "You may"

"Why all these questions? Are you really afraid I'm gonna go nuts or something? You remember Discord could cut me down himself if he wanted to. There's no way he'd let me go and do something like destroy Ponyville. Aunt Fluttershy lives there you know. He'd end me instantly for that."

"I'm aware"

"Then why?"

"Because this is an evaluation. Even if I knew the answers before you said them. There's always a possibility that I could be wrong, or the chance that you will realize something you may have not thought was important before. It also reinforces the fact that just because you have such power and status. That you are not above being dealt with should you gain a lust of power"

........it just hit you. Possibly, the real reason she was doing all this.

She had no reason to evaluate you, all the information was already right there. And she had a sister she could have discussed this with.

So that left one thing that would be on her mind. The reason the setting was up on the moon.
"You just don't want me to become another Nightmare Moon. You're afraid that from what you've seen, and my Cutie Mark, and my recent actions would lead to me trying to destroy everything"

That had to be it. Which meant that the only reason the evaluation exists is because of her own fears. A fear of you becoming some sort of megalomaniac. Man, it really amazed you when your cartoon knowledge actually worked out a conclusion like this.

"You really are well spoken...." Luna was impressed. She was thinking you'd just go along with her faux evaluation until she came to her own conclusion about you. But instead, she was figured out rather quickly. "Yes...I was afraid you were on a road none should ever tread. Everything I witnessed from your dreamscape, your memories, and learning the truth about you. I wanted to take extra measures in making sure that leaving you to your own devices was not a mistake. But now that you've figured it out. Can I really trust you? Are you being sincere? Or are you trying to fool me into leaving you be?"

You couldn't fault her. If it's one problem Equestria did have was beings suddenly becoming evil because of.....reasons. You surmised that with access to your human memories that she may have felt sure of her thoughts. None of the old world memories must have been too pleasant to view. Still, it also felt like sort of an honor thing. Having the bigwigs of Equestria looking upon you like this. You just had to make sure that you didn't fuck up.

You look up at her, and try giving her a gentle smile. See if that would ease the mood.
"Would giving you a hug help? I did mention I like affection. Can't have affection if I wanna blow everything up, right?"

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