• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 53

"Well… that went better than I expected." You snatch your map back up and turn the dial to one for Ponyville. "Mnn, I'm sure nothing is gonna happen. They deserved it."

Strangely enough, you got over what you did pretty quickly. both about the brothers and the tipping of the glass. "They tried to nickel and dime me. And, it was just a cup ...not like she couldn't get more. It'll be alright, this is more important."

You hadn't the time for guilt or worry of consequences. You were sure none of it would bite you in the ass. You open the door, and stare into the passage to the town. You nearly step through, until you stop. an idea fills your mind.

"Hmmm, dunno why. But, since I am dealing with classy horse. Being the intelligent and charming guy I know I can be..." You look over to your suit and hanging top hat. "Man, the girls are gonna laugh at me. But who gives a shit. It'll be fun on a bun"

You slip on your suit, fix up your bow, and place on your top hat. "There we go" You chuckle, looking at a mirror on your empty dresser. "Lookin' sharp there Anon"

You nod to yourself. Yeah, what would have been cringy at home was now adorable with your colt body and cute face… It felt good being a pone.

You walk through the door and head off to Rarity's. You took your map with you, but at this point. You didn't need to look at it. You knew where to go. You wish you could use a cane. But there was no point given your four legged form. Hell, you almost felt like singing a song. You were feeling pretty good about what you were about to do. It was getting late though, but it was fine. Today has been a good day.

You reach the boutique, hah, the CMC were still next to it. Hiding, waiting for you to come out. You walk over to them. "Hey girls, nice afternoon we're having, huh?"

The three of them were surprised and confused. They looked at the boutique, then you, then back at the boutique, then you.

"Anon… weren't… weren’t you inside the entire time?" Sweetie Belle asked. She never saw you come out.

"Yeah I was. Look, before you girls ask anymore about that. Let me just explain. I got a map from my dad that let's me open portals back to my house. So that's why you didn't see me come out. Does that answer any future questions you girls have?"

Ha, nipped it in the bud.

Scootaloo nods, then she starts to smirk then smile. "Y-yeah, but, hehehe… what's with the get up?"

Hrn, actually. It seems only Scootaloo found your attire funny. The other two just looked at you as if you did something weird.

"Oh this? I just thought I'd look a little classy for what I'm about to do"

Scootaloo was already laughing uncontrollably at this point. Considering she thought of you as this apparent badass . Seeing you in that get up caught her off guard.

Applebloom only got more confused "About to do? What are you about to do?"

Sweetie Belle just sat silently. She looked up at your top hat and just thought. Then, a lightbulb went off in her mind as she shook her head. "Anon, I don't know how you fell in love with my sister. But dressing up just to impress her isn't going to do anything. And besides, you're way too young for her."

Applebloom's wonderment only grew from that "WHAT?! ANON, Y-YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH RARITY?!"

Scootaloo tried to say something, but that response only made her laugh all the more.

You were caught offguard yourself, What the fuck?! "G-G..T-That's not it! Why would you even say that?!"

Sweetie Belle nodded "Yup, he's in love with her. Anon, it's not going to work out. Trust me" She snickered

Applebloom looked to Sweetie Belle, surprised she didn't have a bigger reaction "Sweetie Belle, how can ya be so calm about this?!"

Sweetie Belle shrugged "Eh, he wouldn't be the first to get a crush on my sister. It just tends to happen."

NO GODDAMMIT NO. You bring your hoof to your face. flustered.

"N-no, I'm not in love with her. I'm just trying to fix a mistake I made"

That caught their attention. Scootaloo slowly went to a titter as Applebloom and Sweetie Belle's confusion intensified.

"Mistake? Whatcha mean mistake?" Applebloom said, confused as all hell.

Sweetie Belle tried to figure out what you meant. But she couldn't think of anything "Anon, what do you mean? I don't remember you doing anything bad. Did you do something while you were in there? Is that why you're out here now?"

Ahh shit… In your flustered state. You let something you wanted to remain hidden slip. You could probably lie your way out of this. But… maybe it'd just be better to tell the truth. Ponies are pretty understanding… hopefully. Yeah… it might be better for your conscious.

"Look...uhm...you remember when you girls let me inside, and told me not to touch anything?"

They all nodded.

"Remember that dress that got ruined?"

Sweetie Belle nodded the most on that one.

You sigh. "That was me, I touched it. I didn't know it would do all that stuff just by me touching it. When I heard about it, I kind of got scared. And didn't say anything. I didn't want to be the cause of trouble, and I didn't want my dad to be blamed either..."

"Anon, that dress was really important to my sister… and, I know she can seem crazy when she's upset… But you still should have apologized. I don't think things would have been that bad… just kind of dramatic" Said Sweetie Belle, she looked disappointed in you.

"I know I should have. In fact… when you girls were following me. I started thinking of what my Cutie Mark could be. And, so I decided to try to fix my mistake… In my saddlebag are those rare gems from Rarity's dress. Untouched. I got a good amount of them on me and I was hoping Rarity would be happy with them."

"And you were planning to tell her that you ruined the dress too, right?" Sweetie Belle asked.

You hesitated… no, you weren't. That's all she needed to hear

Sweetie Belle shook her head "Anon..."

Great, you could see the disappointment in their eyes from your answer. Sweetie Belle's the most. Gyahhh come on, great… you felt like you were learning some end of the episode lesson already.

You let out a heavy sigh, burdened by your simple sin. "I'll let her know, and apologize. I'm really sorry girls. I didn't mean to do anything bad."

God, you went from classy to first class shmuck. You looked down in shame. A simple act, and it was enough to make you feel like shit when brought upon you.

Suddenly, you felt hugging. All three of them were hugging you.

"It's ok Anon" Said Applebloom

"Yeah, you were just scared. At least you tried to fix the mistake" Said Scootaloo

"And, well. We're friends and crusaders. That's why we're here to help you. I just didn't want to see things get worse Anon. I just wanted you to apologize to my sister. It'll be ok, promise!" Said Sweetie Belle

Gyuhh… g..g-go… goddammit. Fuck… Why do you feel the feels? They are so simple minded and forgiving. D-dammit. It's not like you knew them for that long. But they were so goddamn dedicated.

You let out some manly tears. But keep silent. You didn't want them to know you were crying. But you did embrace their hug. Dammit… It felt nice to be cared about.

Yeah… you'd definitely apologize. "T-thanks girls.."

"No Problem Anon!" All three of them said.

You sniffed from nearly crying. And as they let go of you, you quickly wipe your tears away before they could notice. "Ok… gonna do this."

"We're rooting for you Anon!" Applebloom cried out

"Don't be scared ok? No matter how dramatic she gets." Sweetie Belle warned.

Huh… you knew how she could get. Just never personally. You gently open the door and step inside, the CMC close behind.

Oh geez, Rarity was at the bathroom door. Knocking. "Anon, darling...are you alright? It's been an awful long time… You didn't fall asleep did you?" She looked awfully concerned.

You were overthinking this. It wouldn't be too bad. This isn't a jackass human who would still hold it over you or get pissed. This was a world of cute and understanding ponies. Yeah… this… this would be ok.

"Heya Rarity"

"Heya? Anon..wha..wait" She turned her stare from the door and to her side… then the door… then the side… "How...how in Equestria did you get there? I never saw you leave.."

You almost wanted to laugh at that. Same reaction… you could probably make that into a gag if you were more of a cartoony kind of guy in a cartoony kind of world.

Like with the CMC, you explain the whole map portal thing. Rarity seems to grasp the concept instantly… but

"Anon, why did you even leave? Surely it wasn't for your, well I must admit… adorable suit and top hat. I've had the ribbon you needed for quite some time. I even decided to put a larger amount on a roll for you."

Moment of truth. "Well, you see… I kind of went to the Crystal Empire. Yeah, I know. super far away, but when you got a dad like mine… haha… hnmm. Anyway, and dad helped me out with this too, I kind of wanted to get you something. Here, and don't touch with your hooves. Just use your magic."

You open your saddlebag and pull out the large bag of gems and gently put it down. Rarity was confused, but she complied. She magically opened the bag, and when she pulled out the gems.

Her eyes started to sparkle. "A-Anon..a-a-re these?"

You nod. "Yep, they are the gems you needed. Look, the reasDSGDRFDS"

Rarity had moved the gems aside and grasped you for a giant hug, standing on her two back hooves as she nearly suffocates you. "ANON! YOU AMAZING LITTLE GENTLECOLT! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D GO SO OUT OF THE WAY TO GET THESE FOR ME! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW… Oh my..."

She notices you turning a different shade of color and gently puts you down "I'm sorry Anon, I don't know what came over me"

You take a few breaths to recompose yourself. You could still see on her face her excitement as she took a closer look at the gems. judging from her expression. They were real… thank god. You were scared of checking incase you ruined them… you didn't even know how to tell they were real.

"Really Anon, you have no idea how appreciative I am of this. And to think Discord helped out with this whole thing. I'll have to personally thank him as well for making this happen."

Yeah… "Yeah, Rarity, I have something to admit… that I'm really sorry for."

"Hmm? Whatever could it be?" Rarity looked at the gems, nothing seemed wrong with them. "There's nothing wrong with the gems"

"It's not the gems… do you remember that dress that got ruined?" Your ears drooped, it always hurt to admit to something you did wrong.

Rarity noticed you're sad, guilty expression and immediately figured it out. "Anon… you touched my dress?"

Hmnn, she didn't seem too shocked or horrified like you thought. Maybe it was the fact she had the gems that softened the blow.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Rarity asked

"I was sort of afraid you would explode on me or something. I know it really meant something to you though, so I wanted to fix it by getting you replacement gems. "

"Oh Anon, I wouldn't have exploded on you...err..I may have gotten somewhat upset. But, I-I understand accidents can happen. I appreciate you replacing my gems, especially with as many as you bought. It's a lot more than I originally had. But, I would have appreciated an apology a lot more. It's better to know one is truly sorry then to try to mend it while hiding your misdeed"

Fuck, that made you feel like a coward. She was right, the CMC were right. Maybe it was because these horses were actually nice and not shitty that made you feel guilty. That they wouldn't do anything horribly shitty under normal circumstances.

"I'm really sorry Rarity, I p-promise not to do it again." You really were sorry, you hung your head in shame. Dat guilt.

"Apology accepted" She raised your head with her hoof so she could see your face "And please don't look so down" She smiled at you "You did more than enough to fix things. So that already tells me that you were willing to fix the problem at any cost. And I do mean any cost. But always remember Anon, a Gentlecolt should always apologize for any wrong they might cause immediately and with sincerity. Understand?"

You nod, yeah. You'd remember that from now on. "I understand, thanks for not being mad Miss Rarity..."

Rarity gave you a gentle rub on your head "And thank you for coming clean Anon, and another thank you for your wonderful gift. I'll have to start working on a replacement dress immediately. Oh yes! I almost forgot!"

Rarity hovered over to you a roll of the ribbon you asked for. Yes! It was exactly what you asked for. More than you expected. But eh. Perfect as is.

"Here is the item you ordered, I trust it's exactly what you wanted?" Rarity asked, sounding professional as ever.

Welp, nothing bad happened. Now you felt silly, not apologizing earlier. You felt like a silly kid at this point. Instead of a grown adult. Then again, even adults could be shady and try to get out of shit.

You take the ribbon roll and put it in your saddlebag. "Thank's Miss Rarity, it's exactly what I needed."

"A pleasure, Anon. And this is for your friend Bon Bon, correct?"

You nod "Mhmm, I really wanted to get this for her. It'd make her real happy to have it for her hat"

saying that, you noticed the CMC smile. Rarity giggles a soft warm laugh "That's very nice of you Anon, in fact. I do find this behavior of yours to be quite amazing. Not many ponies your age go out of their way to do the things you are doing. And what's more, to know that your father is helping you with these tasks. Well, I feel a touch guilty myself of thinking awfully of him. I don't know why or how. But I am elated to see that Discord is actually being a good role model."

Ha… hearing that. You wonder how Discord would react. Either prideful or with disgust. Either way, you were actually glad to hear that. "Yeah… he's a really good guy once you get to know him. And a good Dad. I'm really thankful for what he's done for me."

"And you know, I'm thankful too. To know that he is not only behaving but becoming a model citizen… Well, it makes me feel I needn't worry about myself or my little sister should we actually have to be in his company."

Oh, you'd still have to worry… ehehehehe… hehehe.. heh. "Thanks Miss Rarity, I'm sure dad would be happy to hear that."

Rarity smiles at you, then looks out the window "Oh my, it is getting rather late though. Anon, maybe you should save that gift for tomorrow."

No… there was still some sun out. You could do this. "I'll be fine, I did fend off those two guys. I'll just give my friend her gift and then head home. Promise."

In retrospect. You did legit win that fight… Through dirty means… but still.

Applebloom nodded "And we'll go with ya! Cutie Mark Crusaders always stick together!"

Rarity cleared her throat "Ahrm… sorry Applebloom. But it is rather late. I can't allow Sweetie Belle to go out at this time"

"Awwww! Come on Rarity! I'll be with Anon. Nothing bad is going to happen!" Begged Sweetie Belle

"Even then, I'd rather you just stay here. There will be plenty of time tomorrow to have fun and be with your friends. But the night is no place for a lady your age." Rarity stayed stern

"Awww..." Sweetie Belle frowned, her ears folding back "Ok..."

Rarity then looks upon Scootaloo and Applebloom. "That includes you two as well, you both should be going home before it gets too dark."

"Awwww… do we have to?" Applebloom tried giving Rarity a cutely depressive stare

"Yes Applebloom… I don't want your family to get worried, you know how your sister gets" Rarity just stares harder at her. Reinforcing her resolve. Applebloom complies.

"Well, I guess that means I'll have to partner around with Anon in case he gets into trouble" Scootaloo said, trying to get out of this.

"I did mean you too Scootaloo, I'll take you home myself if I have to" Rarity stared down on her.

"What?! come on, Somepony should go with Anon! Who knows what could happen?!" Scootaloo protested

Rarity doesn't say anything at first. Scootaloo had a point. "...hmm.." Rarity then looks at you "Anon, won't you please wait until tomorrow? I just feel that it could still be a little dangerous out there."

You really wanted to do this. You would try one more time to at least get her to be ok with it. You didn't want to worry her. "Miss Rarity, I promise it'll be ok. My house is anywhere I want it to be. All I gotta do is toss my map in some water and I can go home. I can just ask my friend to well...let me use her bathroom. My dad doesn't mind, honest."

Rarity again, took another moment to think. "You'll go straight home once your business is done, correct?"

Not a problem. You could settle with that. She was being worrisome for nothing. You were sure Applejack wouldn't worry about shit like this… still, that was reasonable.

You nod. "Yeah, no problem."

"Ok then, I know I'm not your mother. But I'm allowed to worry nonetheless. You take care Anon." Rarity really did look worried. No doubt Fluttershy would be even more worried about you walking around in the evening. She'd probably offer you her home to sleep in even knowing you could go home through the map.

"Come on Anon! Let's go!" Scootaloo said, trying to sneak off with you. "Scootaloo, I never said you could go with him. And if I find out that you did. I will tell your aunts. Do you understand me young lady?"

".....nuts..." Scootaloo said, kicking her hoof along the ground.

You hold back a chuckle...nice try Scootaloo. "You take care Miss Rarity, and good luck on that dress… and girls"

You group hug the CMC, you were actually thankful they followed you, and made you apologize. You felt better for it. And, if you really could get a Cutie Mark. You had an idea that maybe using your Saturday morning skills would be the way to getting one. You were actually getting pretty excited about the possibility of getting one.

"Thanks for today, I actually feel like I'm a little closer to my Cutie Mark" You give them a wink

They hug you, but are surprised at the same time "You do?"

"But we didn't really do anything" Applebloom said.

"You girls actually did. At first, I really didn't care about getting my Cutie Mark. But, I guess with you girls getting your Cutie Mark and actually giving me that push to give it a thought. I feel I have an idea of what it could be. I'm not sure exactly what it is… but I have an idea… so, thank you."

That made them smile, they told you that whatever they did to actually do it, that they were happy to do it for you. They still didn't understand what you meant. But hey, if it brought you closer to that Cutie Mark. It was enough for them.

And with that and a farewell. You all head off in your separate directions. You make sure to eye Scootaloo to make sure she doesn't follow you before heading to Bon Bon's.' This world, it really was a trip. The ponies here were good natured. They weren't overly mean, or evil, rude, nasty. Sure, there was probably the occasional antagonist. But like everything else. They usually become good too in the end. Hell, even Gilda got redeemed.

You liked it… you liked it alot. You didn't have to worry that some fuckwit was out to screw you over. You didn't have to worry about horrible grudges. And the only time you'd need to worry about revenge is if you pissed off some villain or something. Hell, even Discord. who gave you a hard time or messed with you. Wasn't actually an evil or nasty guy. He was just doing it for fun. Hell, the only pony you ran into that was an irredeemable ass was DT's mom.

This world was paradise. You just needed to adjust a little more. As you come upon BonBon's house, the sun was just about gone, you still had some light and time to get this done.
You straightened your Top Hat. You couldn't wait to see Bonbon's reaction to this. Yeah, you didn't get to really fully try it on Rarity due to feels moment. But you did nothing wrong to Bonbon, this is gonna be a trip.

You get up to her door. and knock.

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