• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 122

Nope, you couldn't think of a single point where she may have genuinely cared about you. So then, you'd have to retreat and wait it out. And hope maybe with a little more time. She'd truly warm up to you.

"...Just a gut instinct, but erm. I guess I should get to my homework. It would be pretty irresponsible if I just procrastinated on it."

Chrysalis snickered "Retreating from the conversation are we? That's perfectly ok with me, it just proves to me how right I am."

You start reading the directions to your homework. "Opinions aren't facts, You won't know anything about friendship until it happens."

"IF it happens, Being your "friend" just proves my point on how troublesome it is. Especially since I can't even leave."

"That has more to do with Discord being Discord."

Chrysalis shakes her head. "It has nothing to do with him. If you were actually worthy of my time then I'd actually wouldn't mind being stuck here. Maybe if you showed some actual interest in what I want to do, then MAYBE we could work something out."

"Not interested in taking over Equestria. Maybe if you had interests that were more… I dunno… doable?" Hrn, it seems this was a special homework not really based on Nightmare Night itself, but more to do with the fact that many ponies dress up as monsters during that time. To be exact, Miss Cheerilee wanted a report of a monster or being of your choice, two pages long. Hrnnn...

"Doable? Of course it's doable, there have been conquerors before, Anon. I know you've heard of King Sombra."

"Yep, and he died for it. I don't know Chrysalis, you should really consider yourself lucky. You're alive despite what you did. They straight up killed Sombra, just like that. If the ponies were able to stage a massive force against you after the fact, with Twilight and her friends at the helm? Yeah, you might end up squished… like a bug."

Chrysalis put a little thought into those words. It was true, Sombra was obliterated. She had heard about it before. But she was sure she wouldn't make the same mistake. "He was just one pony. Of course the ridiculous force of the Crystal Heart would destroy him. I however have no such weakness. Given time, I could not only take over Equestria, but amass a large enough force to deal with any threat."

"......and then you and your entire force gets hit with one shot and goes blasting off......again" ...Hrn… What to pick, what to pick? You were juggling the conversation and your thoughts. You could probably take a crack at monsters you do know. But would human interpretation match up with the actual monsters that exist in Equestria?

Chrysalis felt a tinge of anger from that remark, but she remained poised and calm outwardly. She didn't want to give the impression that she could actually be beat. Despite already being defeated. "I told you before, that was due to a minor mistake. One that, I can assure you, that I've learned from."

...Hrn....."learned from"....those words. You could learn… more about the changelings actually. You did have the report to write. And you had a bonafide Changeling Queen right in front of you. The gears in your head started turning. Maybe this homework could be used to actually bond with Chrysalis… in some way. Surely she'd enjoy being written about in a more informational, and if you write it right, positive light. Maybe you could get that "moment" she says she's never had.

"Yeah....huh.." You act disinterested in the conversation.

Chrysalis again, feels she's making headway in the conversation "Nothing to say Anon? Does it scare you that once I get my army rallied once again that nopony could stop me in my conquest?"

You shake your head. "No, actually. I got a problem with this homework."

Chrysalis nose scrunched, she looked at you with scornful eyes. "Are you telling me your homework is more important than our debate? I'm trying to show you how hopeless things will soon be for everypony. Discord cannot keep me contained forever, you know. He isn't perfect, he also makes mistakes."

You still act disinterested. "Right, right. I know..." You stared intently at the instructional paper. Until Chrysalis gets annoyed that you are paying it more attention than you are her. She uses her horn to rip the paper from your hooves so she could read it herself.

After reading, she burns the paper up in green fire, still heavily annoyed. "That's what got your attention? What? Are you seriously having trouble choosing a monster? Why don't you just pick a Timberwolf and be done with it? It's not that hard." Chrysalis rolled her eyes "Humans aren't actually very intelligent are they?"

You shake your head dismissively. "It's not about intelligence. It's about the fact that I don't know too many interesting monsters in Equestria. That's why I was wondering. Why don't I write about changelings? They're pretty interesting."

"Write about changelings? My kind? I wouldn't let you."

"Why not?"

Chrysalis puts her hoof to her face, she couldn't believe you said that. "Why not? WHY NOT?! Think Anon, think! Why would I let you write about changelings when it's clear you don't know anything at all about us. Choose something else, I don't want even a single pony getting the wrong idea about my kind."

"Well, I wouldn't know what else to write about. So I got an idea." You rummage through your bag and pull out a pencil, two sheets of paper, and your lunchbox. You place the paper on the lunchbox, using the lunchbox as an object to write upon. "Why don't you teach me about changelings? That way, everypony will have the RIGHT idea about your kind. And nopony will think any false information I may have written will be true."

"Teach you?" Chrysalis thought about it, she wasn't worried, but mostly found it insulting that'd you try writing about her kind with very little actual information. Especially if you were going to write anything that'd be less than true. ".....Sure, why not. I think the young should know what my kind is like. So they know how to properly be afraid of us."

Woah...she's seriously going to do it. "Oh, um. Cool. So...umm..let's start and....ahh dammit...dammit...COME ON...ugh...I forgot.." You were trying to grip the pencil, but you were failing miserably.

"....you can't even use a pencil?" Chrysalis couldn't believe it.

"...I can...just..I forgot I had to use my mouth. Not like I have a real horn of my own to use whenever." You sigh as you take the pencil in your mouth and write out your name,date, and title of your report. "The Changelings". Your handwriting is fucking atrocious though. Writing was nothing like painting. "...ogh...Discord was right. This is terrible."

"What? your writing? It can't possibly be that bad." Chrysalis walked over to you, and looked at your writing, she then cringed. It was that bad. "....Anon, if there was ever a time where I felt remorse, it would be now. Because that is the worst I've ever seen. I can't even laugh because of how awful it is. Are those even words?"

Ugh, you were actually wishing she was laughing at you. At least that would have been a normal response. This was dire. You lay back on your pillow and sigh, this was frustrating. "I can't believe I'm going to fail school because I can't fucking write."

"Hrnnn, Anon, put that pencil in your mouth" Chrysalis was carefully assessing the situation.

You were pretty annoyed at this, your cool disposition cracked by your own inability to write. Hell, you felt Chrysalis was going to mock you at this point. But, she didn't.

"What? No "What a shame"? Or something generic like that?"

Chrysalis magically picked up the pencil and stuck the eraser end into your mouth "Silence! Just do as I say!"

You cough and try to spit it out, but she keeps it there tight. "mfmdfg"

Chrysalis looked at the paper, then your head. "Hmmmm, how to fix this..."

She started to flitter her wings and float up in the air above you as she hangs her hooves down to grab your head. "Alright, Anon...ANON, FOCUS!"

You stop your muffling the moment she yells focus. You could feel her hooves gently on the sides of your head. What was this all about?

"Alright, let's try writing "changeling". Very slowly, I'd do it quickly in all actuality but I'm sure Discord's little spell is still in effect. Right to left and left to right like a half swirl. Bite hard on the pencil so it won't wobble." She started to gently guide your head. She was...she was helping you write? "There we are, to the next letter. You have to keep your head steady. Don't worry about the condition of the pencil, bite hard enough that you can feel your teeth sink in a little, that will keep it steady. Don't try to see what you're writing, just write." She guided you along until you spelled "changeling" in full.

You let go of the pencil and take a look at your work. It looked… a lot better. "Woah… it looks much better now. Why did you help me?"

"I told you already. And I'm not repeating myself. Now, do this fifty times on your own, and each word must be "Changeling". I won't let you write any other word until I see perfection."

Wut? She really wanted your report to be accurate and readable? or just her version of accurate and readable. "Fifty times? how about like, twenty. I'm not a kid, I just need to get used to it."

"Who's the nanny, Anon? Me or you?"

"...I thought you didn't want to be my nanny?"

Chrysalis looked at the bottom of her right front hoof with an arrogant smile. "For this instance, I shall be. If only because it means you'll have to obey me."

Is she daft? "I… really don't think you being my nanny NOW gives you that much sway."

Chrysalis clears her throat "Oh Mr. Discord, young master Anon was very disagreeable today. He shall bring shame to your family, including the yellow one, due to his inability to write."

You were speechless, she even had to put Fluttershy into this? Whimsy or not. Discord would take that seriously in his own non serious way. For sure.

Chrysalis could see in your eyes that you understood. "Good, I'm glad we understand each other, now practice."

You internally grumbled, both from illness and from things being flipped on you. You take up the pencil and write up "Changelings" fifty times. With each time you write slowly improving your skills. Until you could actually read it. "...Hey, I did it. How about that? Ha!" You take up the paper to show to Chrysalis.

She looked at it, unimpressed by it "It'll do. But you'll never write as well as I do."

"That's because I don't have a horn like you do."

"Oh really?" Chrysalis takes the paper, and the pencil and puts it on the dresser. She leans upwards onto it and starts writing with her mouth. It takes her a moment. But she smirks and even cackles a little as she slips the paper back to you "You were saying?"

Oh shit, she wrote "Changeling" in a style of old style story books. With hyper stylized writing. "...where did you learn to write like this?"

"Practice Anon, practice. That's not even my own style. I have perfectly emulated the writing styles of many of the ponies I've taken the form of. Anypony could don a disguise. But a changeling? Especially one of royalty like myself; perfects the form they take. I have memorized the writing style of every pony I've ever copied. No exceptions."

..Woah...you were going to note this for the report. This is good stuff. "...Do you automatically learn when you take their form?"

She shook her head. "No, it is something I need to practice. One cannot take down a town, a city, or even a kingdom if they get found out through silly things such as writing styles. It takes painstaking practice to both learn and memorize every single writing style I copy"

Interesting, interesting. "What about your children? Do they go through the same thing?"

Chrysalis shook her head. "Of course not, cunning though they may be. They can't be trusted with anything beyond normal duties such as reconnaissance, pony replacement at basic levels, stealth, and information gathering. And foalnapping of course."

In other words, they aren't as capable. Or smart really. "Ok, but what exactly makes a changeling a changeling? Are you bugs..or ponies… or bug ponies? What?"

"We are… for lack of a better word, insects. But not as lowly as your common roach or bee. We have evolved beyond anything primitive." That would be true, but what about those holes in their bodies.

"What about the holes? Are they part of the evolution?"

"No, the holes in our bodies exist because there is nothing vital there. When a changeling forms within its egg. their innards and vital parts always grow differently from one changeling to the next. And if they happen to expand in a circular motion. Then the carapace will form a hole where there is nothing."

Well, that seems logical. Sort of, but speaking of eggs. "About your eggs. How exactly does that work? How long does a changeling generally live?"

Chrysalis was being very forthcoming with this information. With nary a look of hesitation or deception. "I can only reproduce if I have a proper level of nutrition within my body. when I generate a clutch of eggs. the inside of each egg is lined with physical love so that my little darlings can feast. And once the love is no more, if they are strong enough. They will break out of the egg, and be ready to serve me. As for how long we live… I don't know a single changeling that has yet perished due to old age,"

Christ, that's a long fucking time. "I-I see...well, I already know changelings think independently from you. So, how about this? How does the whole "love feed" work. I notice you just don't tear it away from ponies. But instead just feed off the emotion itself when they are feeling it."

Chrysalis smiled at you, it wasn't evil or false. But genuine. "That's correct. The love energy we feed off of is from the emotion itself. The more a pony feels love, the more potent and nutritious it is to a changeling. It even gives us power. Though, there are ways to force love. Sometimes we can forcibly drain it from a host who is not expressing love, but that is for desperate times. And other times it is through me, when I put them under my power."

Chrysalis looks at you with glowing green eyes "You know Anon, if you just gave in. I could bring you a pleasure you'd never get from a mare."

Ogh, her eyes always looked nice when they glowed. And the maid outfit didn't help. This time, you couldn't help but feel a little unnaturally closer to her. But nothing a hard smack to the head couldn't fix. You smack yourself with your hoof to make sure you keep your senses. Then look at Chrysalis with a "...don't do that" expression. "Don't even, I'm no one's pawn..." Then you started to feel a little… under the weather in a different sense. "...even if the queen is sort of hot."

Chrysalis loomed ever closer, her eyes glowing as she gently put her hoof under your neck and began to rub. ""Hot" Enough to serve me?"

Fuck, no no no no no no no. You go to smack yourself again. But Chrysalis quickly moves her hoof right to the side of yours. Blocking it. "Don't hit your face Anon, it doesn't look to bad. It'd be a shame if you did any harm to it."

Ohhhhhh, is this how Shining Armor felt when under her power? You found her more and more alluring the more you looked at her. It was getting harder to resist. "...don't..come on..."

"It'll be alright Anon, just relax, I won't harm you. If you give in, I'll do everything in my power to bring you happiness. Trust in me, and give me your nutritious love."

...Ogh, you felt like this could be your only chance… for some reason. You felt you could become hers… for some reason. She was taking advantage of your perversions. "....m-my q-q..."

"Say it..." Chrysalis gave you the most seductive look she could muster "Call me your queen… tell me you love me..."

"M-my.....FSDDFDFSDFD" You leaned up to try to kiss her, and instead puke all over her face from your sickness. Immediately breaking her spell as you come to your senses. Chrysalis takes her hoof to gather a chunk of your puke to throw it off her face Looking at you with quiet fury.

you hold your head, gathering your thoughts. You didn't even really know that you were in a trance. The deeper you went in, the foggier the memory was.

"Ugh, stupid sickness. I think I blanked out for a moment..." You look over to Chrysalis, you could see some of the gunk on her face. But you weren't sure how it got there. "What's all that stuff?"

Chrysalis grumbled, but she remarkably holds her anger and rage back. She knew she'd just be wasting energy over another pointless argument. If she could tear you apart right now though, she'd certainly give you at least a thrashing. "...It's nothing. Let's just continue where we left off...."

But you were really curious. Was that a secretion to bathe herself in? Or something? Because it smelled pretty foul. "Well, I think we left off on how you feed off love… I want to ask about what you mean by "force" the love out of somepony. But, that gunk. What's it for?"

Chrysalis snapped at you "I SAID IT'S NOTHING!"

Woah geez. "Alright, alright. yikes. Didn't know that kind of stuff was personal."

"Hmph" Chrysalis wasn't used to to this. She lived in what she would call "better conditions" for so long that these kinds of shenanigans were beneath her. Now she would have to get used to them, however way she could. "Anyway..everypony, as far as I know, is capable of producing love. And if they are not producing love at the time of need. We can strip them of it right from the source. Unfortunately for us. If we are already low on food, then this is actually detrimental. As the pony we strip the love from takes a very long time to recover. And if that's all we have. Then well, it doesn't do us much good."

You still felt a little cloudy in the head, but you memorized her words as best you could. "Ok, but what about lust? You said you could feed off that too right?"

Chrysalis nodded. "Yes, but there is no nutrition in it. We could only survive on lust for only so long. That's why I'm a master at getting the food we need. Coaxing a pony into loving me. It's just a matter of the right form and flattering persuasion" Chrysalis chuckled to herself. "And I do mean it when I call myself a master. You may always bring up the fact that I lost in Canterlot. But the fact that I even fooled the "Great" Princess Celestia and defeated her is a testament of how skilled I really am"

Or more how dumb the ponies were being. But for once, you wouldn't argue that point. You needed as much information as you could gather. "That you did, that you did… hrn. What about that stuff you and your hive produces. That green stuff?"

"Green stuff? Ahh yes, that is a substance all changelings can produce. We use it to create a protective barrier around our eggs. Or to seal up beings we plan to harvest for love later. It depends really."

"And your mane? Is that really hair, or is it something else?"

"My mane? Ahh, hmm.. Believe it or not. I actually have no idea what it is, but it adds to my regal perfection. Now then..." Chrysalis wanted to give you some information, rather than answer a question.

"One thing I want you to write in your report is about me. Now pay attention carefully Anon, because this is important. As queen, it is my duty to make sure my entire hive is well cared for. To make the most important of decisions. And to make sure I never lose a single drone in any battle. Many may see me as some sort of cowardly brute. But I am not. How many creatures do you know of that has a leader go into the heart of the enemy? My hive is brave because I am brave. My hive is loyal because I am always the first one into the fray. And that is something I want to be known and respected for. And before you ask why. It's because if I somehow never truly escape this place. Then I don't want my race going down in history as a bunch of cowardly wimps. Do you understand me?"

You thought about that. You could be a dick and write it that she sucked. But, she really did go in first. She kidnapped Cadence, she kept Shining at bay, she put herself in the most danger and nearly won. That does indeed take balls. It was actually respectable. "I understand. And you can trust me, you'd be surprised how many leaders back in my world just sit on their butts a million miles away from where the real fighting is going on."

"Your world?" Chrysalis became intrigued. "Ahh yes, your world. You wouldn't mind telling me a little bit about it, would you Anon? Or are all humans like you? And not worth my time"

Not worth her time? Heh, despite you doing her the favor of writing your report accurately to her words. You weren't just about to take the insinuation that you were pathetic. "I'd rather not go through a long explanation on how my world is. I'll use my horn on another day to show you this really nice documentary titled "Starship Troopers". I think you'll like it."

"Starship Troopers? I don't know what a starship is, but if it's about troopers, then I assume this is a war documentary?"

You nod.

"Then I suppose that will suffice. It'll either be interesting or terribly boring to see how a human conducts themselves in combat. Is it about any particular battle? Or just an overview on their war tactics?"

Oh hohoho...oh ho...this would be sweet. "Just a particular war. But I don't want to spoil anything. It's a really really good documentary, trust me, you'll love it."

Chrysalis was skeptical, but she decided to keep an open mind due to not knowing what humans were really capable of. "We'll see, but if you're not going to tell me any details. Then I expect to be floored by what I see"

You hold back a smirk. Didn't want to let her on on anything. "Trust me, you'll be more than floored. It's really that good."

"Better not try to get me too excited, Anon. Because if I'm disappointed. I'll make sure to make you VERY aware on how inane human battle tactics really are compared to us changelings. I'll make you ashamed to have been known as a human."

Oh boy, wait till she sees how vicious the bugs are in the movie. and the weapons the humans employ. She'll be wishing every night for humans to hopefully never come en mass to Equestria. "We'll see, anyway. I think I got everything I need for my homework. Thank you"

You actually genuinely thank her for the information. It was going to make writing two pages worth of information much easier.. Especially since she taught you to actually write better, right there, right then.

Chrysalis wouldn't accept a "Thank you" though. She didn't want to be seen as "kind". "Don't thank me Anon, I did this for myself. It just required me using you to make sure Equestria has an actual historical record of my kind."

You didn't want to burst her bubble. But you were pretty sure no one was going to take your paper too seriously. Considering it's just homework. You'd let her have her cute delusion. So you took pencil in mouth, and began to write.

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