• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,517 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 321

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Filthy asks a question
Anon uses his horn
And a griffin really likes bits

The both of you hung around the store a little longer so Mr. Rich could do some personal work and inspecting...and of course, using you for a little advertisement. You didn't mind, he was a business pony after all. And he wasn't being slimy about it. No, he seemed mostly proud to present you.

And with the acceptance of your title, you stood proud, waved to the crowd, smiled, bowed, and even signed a few autographs. You were sure if Snips and Snails were here, they'd be among the ones asking for one. And....you wouldn't mind signing it if they didn't overdo it.

After some time, you and Mr. Rich made your exits and headed to.....er. "Where are we going now, Mr. Rich?"

"Dunno...Usually when I clear a day for rest and relaxation, I either stay home and work on a bottle ship, read, or I go on a trip and spread the name of Barnyard Bargains. Hrn." Mr.Rich turned his head and started to stare at the horn on your neck "Anon, can I tell you a little secret?"

Oooh? A secret? From Filthy Rich? This...could be interesting. "Sure, Mr.Rich, what is it?"

"Well, I have to admit. Your heroism does border on the line of 'Super'. And I've always had a...well..attraction to that sort of thing. But a Rich liking something so silly? It is rather unheard of. But despite me not taking up the comic reading or hero worship like the young foals, I have had a few dreams of...ahrm" He cleared his throat and spoke in a low voice. "Being a superhero type pony"

Whhhaat? Wow...this really was interesting. "So you dream of being a superhero? What kind of superhero?"

"Well, imagine this. A brave and snappy dressed pony with an eye mask. Able to release a stream of never ending bits from their hooves to ride in the air and defeat ne're do wells with the justice of capitalism."

"Justice of capitalism? What do you mean by that?"

"Well, Anon, I would literally shoot bits at them until they gave in"

..Wut? "Uhm, how would shooting bits at them make them stop? Wouldn't they just take it and run?"

"Anon, have you ever been hit with a sack of bits?"

No, but you were beginning to see where he was going with this. "Never mind, I guess being slammed with a stream of bits would hurt."

"Exactly, it would stop em right in their tracks."

Right...but, now that you thought about it… "Y'know, that all sounds pretty cool, Mr. Rich, but why are you bringing it up all of a sudden?"

"Welllll..." Mr.Rich looked around to make sure no one was too near. He then whispered even lower. "Pardon me for sounding a irresponsible, but I was wondering if maybe we could do some 'Hero Work', so to speak."

Wooah woah. "Wait...Mr. Rich, are you saying you want to go on an adventure? You do know that's dangerous right?"

"Well, we'd be relying on your magic and I'm sure as the hero colt, you'd know how to handle it. "

...Wait. "So what you're saying is that you want me to make you into that hero, we go find some bad guys, save the day, then come back to Ponyville?"

Filthy Rich gives you a wink. "That's about right"

Geezez. Could you even let that happen? Was that a good idea?

"Where would we even find trouble? I dunno, Mr. Rich, it doesn't sound like too keen an idea to me."

"Well, Anon, if we're both wielding powers of good and justice than I don't see what the problem is. Besides, I already have a place in mind when it comes to stopping some no good criminals"

"What about all that training stuff? Y'know, not using magic and all that."

"That's for work, Anon. Criminals however, aren't the type to play fair. As for the ones I have in mind? Well, the criminal types I'm thinking of shouldn't be all that difficult. They're the classic thugs that take and steal without thinking about how it affects the common folk. We should be more than enough for em."

More than enough, huh? Well, common street thugs should be pretty easy to deal with. "Ok ok, if it's easy and doable then I don't see why not. We'd be doing everypony a favor anyway. But where are these thugs? And how do you know about them?"

"Well, looks like somepony hasn't been reading the papers. The criminals we're after are somewhere between Trottingham and Winnieopolis. Seems a pair of thieves has been robbing anypony who tries to cross the roads there. And the police ponies from either city haven't caught them yet."

Trottingham? Pair of thieves? You shrugged, it sounded familiar. "Are you sure their bad? What if these thieves have been stealing from the rich to feed the poor or something?"

"Arrow Eye and his merry band of ponies? Anon, Ah dunno if ya heard but they disbanded years ago. The ponies I'm talking are the type who even steal from the young'uns. And that's just as bad as a rock bottom stock prices"

THOSE BASTARDS! Stealing from children? That's pretty fucked up. "Well, that's good enough for me. But if we're going to do this as superheroes, we're going to need to use super hero names. In fact, how do you feel about Captain Capitalism?"

"I like it!" He let out with enthusiasm. "And you can be the....hrn. What abilities would you have exactly, Anon?"

Abilities? Well, thinking on it, magically increasing your physical prowess for this might give you an idea for what you are in store for later. And you did like your shoryukens… "Well, I guess I could augment my physical abilities with my magic. As for my own hero name? I already have an idea for it. I'd be called....Ryu! Pretty cool huh?"

"Well that ain't very super hero like. Just sounds like ya came up with a new and random word."

What?! Ryu was timeless! "Hey, it's a pretty strong name. I've even heard that the name Ryu means 'Dragon'. And that Mr. Rich, is super cool"

"Super cool? I don't think so. Most dragons are mischievous or darn right malicious. Though the word is that has changed since they now have a princess that seems to have a good opinion on us pony folk."

Guh wuh? A Dragon Princess? What is with this OC shit? That can’t have possibly existed in the show. "W-well...erm. It's meant to strike fear in the hearts of do badders"

"Oh...well that makes sense then. So then, how does this work? Do you need ingredients for a spell or do you just work your magic?" Filthy wondered as he eyes your horn.

He seemed pretty anxious to begin. It was weird. You didn't peg him for wanting to do cool things like this. Or maybe he was having a mid life crisis? "Well Mr. Rich, are you even sure you want to do this? I mean, this is the kind of thing I'd get disciplined for if things went wrong...well, actually I'd be disciplined for just putting ponies in danger, but that's besides the point."

"I'm sure, but only if you think we can manage it. Ain't no point if we can't manage a win. But I imagine, you being the hero colt n' all, that some common muggers would be easy for somepony such as yourself to subdue."

Oh no, it'd be fucking easy as shit. "Yeah, and I guess putting them to justice would do everypony some good. So then, I'm gonna ask again. Are you sure?" You put your hoof on your horn and place it on your head. "Because there is no turning back after this" You hold your hoof out towards him, and wait.

Mr. Rich was thinking. He wanted to live out this dream at least once. To be a real superhero like the comics he read when he was a lad. As an adult and a business pony of the highest class, he doesn't have the luxury for such childish things. But through you? This once...he just wanted to know what it was like before he put it to rest for good.

He put his hoof on yours with a confidant nod. "Wasn't plannin' on turnin' back until we bring those criminals to justice."

"Then hang on, Mr. Rich" You say as you both get enveloped by a bright violet light. "BECAUSE HERE WE GO!"

You both are teleported to a cliffside overlooking a set of train tracks set alongside a forested path. It ran through the side of the cliff into a tunnel, with the forest to it's right side. You both were on the left.

When you both appeared, You were in a red gi with a yellow mane, while Mr. Rich appeared with a blue eye mask, an enhanced version of his suit with golden shoulders and a gold lettered "CC" on his tie, and a cape on his back waving in the wind.

When you appeared, you looked down at yourself, then frowned. "Ken?...Are you serious? I was definitely going for Ryu..."

Then you heard Mr. Rich squee as he waved his cape around and looked at his tie. "Well, I'll be a Ursa Major's uncle! It's really happening! I look like a true blue bonafide super hero! Just like in them old comics I used to read. And Anon, you look....erm"

When he saw you, he had no idea what you were supposed to be with that red gi. "You're er, an oddly dressed karate master? Well alrighty, I don't have a right to criticize I suppose. I do have to say though, I do like that new style of mane you got there. Looks like something a rich pony would have if they had no cares in the world"

Well, at least he liked it. But goddammit. That means you wouldn't be able to do Shin Shoryuken for a badass finish. "So the magic sort of worked off you Mr. Rich, meaning everything from your suit to this location came from what you wanted, so do you know exactly where we are?"

Mr. Rich took a quick look around then stood heroically at the cliffside. "I do, Anon, we're between Trottingham and Winnieopolis."

"Oh.....hrn?" You turn around, and in the distance across what seems to be open waters, you see an island with a small town at the end. "What's over there?"

"Trottingham" He said

Wut?..but, it wasn't even connected by train! "So where is Winnieopolis?"

"Way southeast from here, down directly south of us in Griffonstone"

...Wut? "Then...wait. Then we aren't between those two places at all! Are you sure we're even in the right spot, Mr. Rich?!"

Because from his words, it didn't make any fucking sense. Mr. Rich laughed heartily as he looked down upon the tracks. "Tell you the truth, Anon, I thought that maybe there'd be somepony who was listening in on our conversation. So I made it sound a little like nonsense to throw anypony off. But trust me, somewhere down there are two dastardly ponies ready to rob innocent passerbys. They even been robbing the griffons that pass by. And that ain't a good thing, griffons get awfully mean if they get robbed."

You stand by his side and look down. If they were down there then how the fuck would you both find them? "Yeah but, how are we supposed to find them?"

Mr. Rich held his hoof up and started shooting a tiny amount of bits from his hoof. He giggled giddily to himself "I can't believe this, it's really happening"

Ogh, this may have been a bad idea. There's no way he could get used to the powers you gave him. And without a place to start, this could take long enough to worry both yours and his family.

"Mr. Rich..." You give him a nudge.

"H-huh? Oh right right...Well, Anon, given the type of heroes we are, how would you find em?" He's asking you? How the hell were you supposed to know?! Without an idea of who they were, you couldn't teleport right up to them.

"Well, first I'd like to know who we're dealing with. Maybe I could use my second charge to find them."

"Sorry, Anon, these two ponies wear camouflage and wear weird masks. All we know is one of them is a pegasus and the other a unicorn. Don't even know if they are mares or stallions."

....Great… "Then I got nothing..."

Mr. Rich seemed surprised by your answer. "Really? C'mon, Anon, it should be pretty obvious. If you want to catch some thieving criminals, ya gotta use the right bait. Like so.." Mr.Rich pointed his hooves down, like he was aiming a gun. He then shot a stream of bits by the train tracks below, making a large pile of cash.....oh, well, that should have been fucking obvious.

"That's pretty good, Mr. Rich, but uhhhh....do you really think they'd do something as dumb as go for some obvious bait?"

Mr. Rich rubbed his chin as he thought on it. "You're right, Anon..." He held his hoof up again, and shot more bits, making the pile even bigger. "There we are, nopony could resist that much loot"

Probably not, but as you look up, you see a greedy old griffon eyeing the pile, and he immediately makes a divebomb straight into it. "Yeah...apparently neither can the griffons." You both look down as the griffon starts swimming and diving into the pile like he was Scrooge McDuck. "So, what now, Mr.Rich?"

"Hrn, dunno. Didn't expect a griffon to be flying by." He looked down as the griffon began to fill his bags with cash. He didn't seem too deterred by this though. "But a hero knows how to make their plan flexible, like my old hero, Commander Helperhoof! If something didn't go his way then he just adjusted for the situation. And I think I know exactly what to do"

Mr. Rich walked towards the very edge of the cliff,looked straight down, and took a breath as he held his hooves out. What the...it looked like he was going to dive. Wait, didn't he mention… "Mr.Rich! Wait! Shouldn't you practice that bef-"

But it was too late, he jumped. You tried to grab him, but even with your enhanced physical abilities, you couldn't reach him in time. "MR.RICH!"

You couldn't see him at first. You were quickly grabbing your horn to place on your head to bring him back up. But then you heard his heroic laughter as he started riding up, then down towards the griffon on a stream of bits. Mesmerizing you and the catbird from his wave of golden treasure. He expertly hops off the wave of bits and lands right in front of the griffon.

Holy shit...how did he get a handle of it so damn quickly?! ON HIS FIRST TRY?! He looked up at you and waved "C'mon down, Ryu! So we can talk to this fine griffon about helping us."

You looked down. How the fuck were you supposed to get down there? "H-hold on, Captain. I'll be down in a sec."

"Alrighty then." Mr. Rich looked back at the griffon, who went back to filling his bags. Noticing he was in a hurry, Mr. Rich quickly began negotiations without you. Offering the griffon a few more bits if he would call out as loudly as possible about the pile of bits he was already pilfering. The plan was to use him, a griffon who certainly loved bits indeed, to alert anyone around to his presence without it seeming like a trap. In other words, a griffon stealing from a pile of bits would seem totally normal and would totally attract a couple of thieves. The griffon, seeing no issue with this if it meant more cash, agreed.

As for you, you did realize that you had the Tatsumaki hurricane kick. You could use that to get down. "OK, CAPTAIN! HERE I COME! TATSUMAKI SENPUUKYAKU!"

You leapt in the air, outstretch a single hindleg, and began to spin. It was ridiculously dizzifying and you were moving much more horizontally than you thought you would as you came down.

You couldn't control it. And you smashed right through a tree below. That's right, "through". Your hurricane kick was so powerful, it lopped the top part of the tree off as you landed behind some bushes.

Y-you did it...YOU DID IT! YOU LANDED SAFELY! ON YOUR HOOVES! You poked your head out from the bushes and waved to Mr. Rich "Captain! look, I'm OWRFDSDFSD" Your victory was short lived however, as the top part of the tree you sliced off with your hurricane kick came hurtling down towards yo, smashing right into your head and bouncing off, making you fall back dizzy.

K.O.

Mr. Rich, with an elated smile on his face, joins your side, ignorant of your head bop as he was still a little focused on the grand situation he found himself in. And he also seemed pretty ecstatic about your choice of landing. "Great initiative, Anon, this here bush will make the perfect hiding spot. Once those two thieves come to take the bits, we'll spring our trap and face them like true heroes would!"

"Hh? What?..Ngh,...s-sure" You slowly get up, rubbing your head. Could you not go one fucking day without something hitting it? Well, hopefully you met your quota because you couldn't risk any more head smashes. "R-right..right. So, what are we doing exactly?"

"Waiting for the thieves to make their move. That griffon over there is helping us by being the hapless traveler." Mr. Rich then politely raises his hoof and shakes his head. "I know, I know. heroes don't usually involve civilians. But we happen to be in luck that our griffon friend is a master hunter. He'll know to run once the thieves arrive as to not scare em off. Y'know, like he wasn't scarin' off prey and whatnot. And as long as we leave him the bits, he won't give away our position"

Huh...sounded like the griffon was a bit of a greedy dick. "Mr. Rich, I don't want to make your offer sound dishonest. But all those bits will probably disappear when we change back."

"Ah figured, Anon, tried to explain it to him but the nasty eye of greediness got a hold of him. That's why I gave him a bag of my own money as 'extra incentive'."

"You mean, so he'll still have some money after it's all over because it'd be dishonest to leave him with nothing, right?"

"Exactly, Anon, exactly."

Typical Saturday morning thinking. You wouldn't have left the guy a single bit if he made the threat of revealing your position. But Filthy was a pony of integrity, and doesn't wish to be dishonest.

And so you waited. Both of you keeping a vigilant eye on the griffon and pile of bits. You took quick glances at Mr. Rich from time to time. He was like a kid in a candy store. You knew he couldn't wait to pop out and heroically bring these thieves to justice.

You? Despite the issues, you were just glad he was happy. Plus, you could show him your own heroing skills, you bet he'd love that. Though, waiting for the thieves themselves was kind of boring. And then, what if they don't come?

"Mr. Rich..Are you sure this will work? That griffon looks like he wants to bolt." You could see the griffon getting impatient. And given the rocky start on how Mr.Rich said this was supposed to take place compared to where you both actually ended up, you started to have the feeling he actually didn't have any idea where you both were supposed to actually be.

"I'm sure, Anon. Even if I end up wrong, I'm still sure. For when it comes to justice, it's better to be sure and try, than to quit and give up. Diligence, Anon! Diligence. We have to be like the garnish on a dinner plate. Unnoticed, and yet there because we have to be!"

Wut? That didn't seem right. "Uhhh, does it really need to be there? I mean, nopony ever eats it anyway, right? Why even put it there?"

"Trust me, Anon. In my world, many ponies would never go back to a restaurant if they didn't get the preparation right. even if they weren't going to eat any of it at all. It's the way of the wealthy. Though, personally, I'm a tad more relaxed about it."

Huh, well. You couldn't really argue that, as you never really hung out with any rich pony outside the Riches themselves. If he said it, it was probably true. "Alright then, I'll stick by you. I just hope these guys show up soon. I'm getting hungry.”

"As am I, I’m going to have one heck of a hearty meal after this"

"Me too" Then something else crossed your mind. "Wait, Mr. Rich. Since we're doing this as 'Superheroes'. How exactly are we going to handle the aftermath? I can't imagine us doing this again. And it'd be pretty weird for two heroes to show up and then never return"

"Got that planned out too, Anon. Our best course of action is to deliver them to the local authorities without them getting a good look at us. Our heroism will become that of a strong rumor and may deter other ne'er-do-wells from repeating their mistakes."

Huh...Mr. Rich really had this all planned out to a T. "You really thought this through, huh?"

"Anon..." Mr.Rich sighed with a smile and gently put his hoof on your shoulder. "I've been wanting to do something like this since I was a young foal. My own father, bless his soul, got me every comic a colt could ever ask for. And I enjoyed it for as long as I was young. You've given me a chance to live this stallion's childish dream. A dream I've imagined time and time again. Even if life isn't like the comics I used to read, getting it close and living it out while making Equestria a safer place for all is a great honor within itself. So in terms in having a plan? You can bet this business pony has somethin’ up his sleeves"

Mr. Rich.... He really wanted to make this work. His one chance, and he wanted it more than anything else right now. And he was such a good and nice guy. A guy who believed in you. A guy who believed in good and justice. It left you in awe.

Fuck it, you'd wait til your dead if it made him happy. Well, you probably wouldn't. But the sentiment was what counts. So you give him a salute. "Alright Captain, I'll stick by you until the end!"

Mr. Rich saw your cute little salute and started to tear up. He had to look away as he sniffled and wiped his tears. He took a moment to compose himself then looked back at you with a gentle smile "A-at ease, Ryu, w-we are on a stake out after all. Ahrm..." He cleared his throat and tried to look more serious. "We must stay vigilant, and keep our eyes peeled and...hrnn.." But he couldn't keep it up for long as he breaks into a sigh. "Thank you, Anon, you're a real stand up stallion. Now" Raised his hoof with a confidant smirk. "Let's catch some crooks!"

"Right, Mr. Rich! I won't let you down!" And so you both went back to waiting.

But that griffon was obviously losing his patience as he started to put the bits in his bag with greedy abandon. But at this point, it wouldn't matter as long as he left most of the pile. All you had to do was watch the pile, and wait for these pair of crooks.

Don't lose interest. Don't get bored. Don't falter. Don't think lewd thoughts. Be vigilant. Keep eyes peeled. Stay awake.....Come on...

"Psst, Anon..Anon, look" Mr. Rich pointed forward. Two masked ponies, in full black garb, stepped out from the trees. One had blue wings and had a female voice. The other had a pink horn and was male. Pink and a guy...poor fella.

"Oi! Griffon! Nice pile ya got there, why don'tcha shove off and leave it to us." The pegasus mugger said, spreading her wings to reveal two attached dart launchers. They looked much more simplistic than the ones from the other Equestria. But still, Cripes...

"Ya heard the lady" The unicorn brandished a couple of bombs and lit a match. "Don't need to get nasty now, do we? It ain't worth rufflin' yer feathers, right?"

The griffon looked like he wanted to fight them off with his life. But instead, he just gave a semi believable shriek and flew off. Thank god, he stuck to the plan after all.

"Lookie here, Quick Wit, I don't think I ever seen so much loot in one place. Makes me touched that idiots still travel these here roads with oodles of bits" The pegasus said as she eyes the bits, closing her wings.

"Too right, Target Shot, too right. We're going to be eating better than the princesses tonight, that's fer sure." Quick Wit snickered as he put the bombs into a little bag he had on his side. "Ahhh, larseny is a beautiful thing it is. For us anyway"

..They sounded rather limey… "That's gotta be them.."

"Agreed, and they seem nastier than a latrine on a hot day." Mr. Rich was looking towards their direction with a scowl. "And them weapons they have. To think there'd be ponies that ruthless."

"So, what's the plan?" You ask

Mr. Rich seemed conflicted "I...mnnn..I don't know." He seemed worried, he didn't want to admit it. But a big part of him didn't expect them to actually show up. He got so caught up in the glamour that he didn't realize the danger. He didn't want you to get hurt. And he didn't know how to approach this. He didn't know if he should.

"Mr. Rich?" He seemed stunned

"Anon, maybe we should get the proper authorities here pronto instead. We may be in over our heads..."

What?! after all that..he wanted to quit now?! "W-what? But I thought you wanted this..."

"I do..I..I..ah did" Mr. Rich sighed. "But ah guess I didn't realize how dangerous it could actually be. And...." Then he realized, he must look like a coward right now. "Ah guess I look right foolish right now. Getting excited and then giving up at the most important of times. I guess I got caught up in the spectacle of it. Now, at the most important moment, I realized I'd be making an irresponsible decision. as a Stallion, as a businesspony, and as a father....I'm sorry, Anon...."

You couldn't have that. How was he supposed to live out his dream if he gave up now? He didn't need to be worried for you. You had this! "Mr. Rich, I know this is irresponsible and dumb. I know we can get hurt. And yeah, that sounds really bad and irresponsible. But we're the only two ponies who know and will ever know about this. This is your chance to live out your childhood dream, Mr. Rich. I made this happen for you because I respect you. And I'm willing to follow you all the way to the end! You and me, Mr. Rich. We're just a couple of ponies living out the fantasy. Besides, if anything happens, I can just zap us to safety. So c'mon, don't give up. We both have powers now. We can do it!"

"But, Mr. Anon....." He stopped, turned away, then looked back at your horn with worry "Anon, do you realize how dangerous this is?"

"I saved an entire world, so yeah. I got it. These guys are peanuts compared to what I'm used to."

"Right, you have, haven't ya?" Mr. Rich stopped to really think about it. "...So, what you're saying is. I was given the power and responsibility to stop them criminals, and to give up now would be spitting on that responsibility and those ah said I'd protect..." He took a deep breath, trying to force himself to get back into the groove. "Are you sure we can do this?"

You just give him a cocky smirk " We're heroes, Captain, and over there are some bad guys willing to hurt ponies if we do nothing. So come on, let's do it. Let's save the world..er..stop some criminals!"

Mr. Rich went silent, looked at the pair piling the bits into sacks, and pondered. To Mr. Rich, this was the dumbest most irresponsible thing he could ever do right now. But if he didn't act now, then those two ponies would just attack more innocents. "Alright, Ryu, let's go get em!"

You wanted to correct him that you were Ken now..but whatever, he didn't know what the fuck Street Fighter was. Besides, it was go time! "Alright, Captain!"

You and Mr. Rich jump out from the bushes and go to confront the thieves. "Hold it right there villains! For you have been caught by the golden eye of Captain Capitalism and his trusty ward, Ryu!" Mr. Rich said with confidence and pride

"Yeah, so you better stop what you're doing, or else!" You barked adorably at them

"Oi, Quick Wit. Get a look at them. They be wearin' their knickers inside out they is." Target Shot scoffed.

"Blimey, they is, ain't they? Shove off you two, or else you might get hurt. The treasure is ours for the taking!" Quick Wit threatened as he opened his bomb bag.

"It is you two who should 'Shove off', lest you wish to face our mighty and rich set of villain er...takedownery" Mr. Rich fumbles a little with his words, making the two laugh at his foolishness.

"Oi, you serious mate?" Target Shot opened her wings to reveal her dart guns "We ain't tellin' you again. Either leave or you're gonna get really hurt. We're busy, but we ain't above hurting a foal to make a point."

God, who were these clowns? Maybe you were feeling big for beating down a robot. but these two seemed to be amateur hour. "Ohhh, scary. Look, sorry to say, but you've been caught by Captain Capitalism. Either give up now or face his golden justice. Not to mention my flaming hooves."

"Flaming hooves?! Golden Justice?!" Quick Wit started to laugh hard. "I'm gonna die laughing from your words of stupidity before I see any of them things!"

"It's not wise to mock my young ward. Or do you want to personally have a taste of what this stallion can do?" Mr. Rich pulled up all his bravery for this, it was now or never as he stepped up.

You whispered at him. "Be careful, Mr. Rich, remember. You have powers now. Use em"

"Ah know...." Mr. Rich was ready. "I'm gonna do my best..."

"Oi, what are they whispering about Quick Wit?" Target asked, annoyed with the quiet words.

"Couldn't tell ya, but if they want to make a spectacle then let's start with a bang, eh?" He used his magic to pull and light two bombs and threw them at Mr. Rich "Catch!"

Bombs, Already?! You tried to make a move to do something. But it was too late, Mr. Rich was caught in the blast before you could do anything. All there was was a cloud of smoke where he stood.

"...Well, that was easy..." Quick Wit turned to look at you. "whoever ya are. Shame about yer father, but we gave ya a chance and ya blew it mate. Best be leavin' while you can"

"He won't be going anywhere" A not so mysterious voice said.

Everyone looked in surprise at the cloud of smoke. All except for you. You just smirked, because you now knew,that he was ok. If he wasn't, then there would be some bits strewn about...and you didn't mean the golden kind.

Mr. Rich stood bravely, while sweating heavily from a quick bout of fright. He was holding up a shield of bits. He blocked the explosions with a shield of fucking bits.

"Brillaint, Captain! a masterful defensive move!" You cheered

"What in the hay?! Oi, Quick Wit. What's all this?!" The pegasus mare hadn't seen anything like it.

"Dunno, but I don't like it. Probably threw his bits at me bombs he did. Won't happen again" Quick Wit prepped three bombs this time, and threw them at Mr. Rich.

"SHORYUKEN!" With a fiery hoof, you launch upwards at the bombs, sending them up in the air and causing them to explode prematurely as you fall down.

You look at your hoof and gasp in surprise. "Huh...woah..I forgot Ken could do that."

"Oi, Quick Wit...t-there's somethin' funny about these two blighters..I-I ain't s-seen nothin' like this before" Target put her wings at the read and aimed. Ready to fire at Quick's command.

Quick Wit growled "It's a trick, Target Shot, just use yer darts and knock them two out!"

Target readied her shot. But you were ready, you knew how to beat a projectile.

Mr. Rich looked ready himself "Ya got something to block that shot, Ryu?"

"Yessir, Captain"

"That's what ah like to hear" Mr.Rich said with a nod

Both of you we're ready, each with your own way of easily blocking the shot. Target fired her twin shots at you and Mr. Rich, bending her wings accordingly to aim.

"HADOKEN!" You fire a fireball at the incoming dart, obliterating it. Meanwhile, Mr. Rich blocks the dart with a single summoned bit.

Wait..no, he didn't block it. He deflected it back at Target Shot, knocking her out instantly. "W-woah...C-captain, how did you do that?"

Mr. Rich just chuckled as he span the single coin on the frog of his hoof. "Ahm a business pony, Ryu, I know my way around a bit"

...Woah...what a fucking badass.

Quick Wit was shaking now. "Monsters, Blumin' monsters! Nopony can do that! not even a bloomin' alicorn!"

He tried opening his bag to get out more bombs, but he was already out. And it didn't seem he cared too much about his associate because he turned and made a break for it. You and Mr. Rich looked at each other with cocky smirks. You both already knew you had victory.

Mr. Rich was internally surprised how well it went, and felt a new burst of energy within himself.

"You got this, Captain?" You asked him

"Indeed I do, Ryu. If you'll just pardon me" Mr. Rich immediately began to ride his stream of bits created by his hooves towards Quick Wit. As he neared, Quick Wit yelled back at him to stay away.

"Villain!" Mr. Rich said heroically. "You have caused many a crime and hurt many a pony. And so, justice demands payment! and I am it's cashier! Prepare to BIT the dust!" Mr. Rich slams him with a huge block of bits, burying him and knocking him out from the impact. He buries him deeply enough that he can't escape, but keeps his head above the pile so he can get air.

...Also, not the words you'd have used but still....fucking amazing.

Mr. Rich returned to the ground next to you as he stood on a small pile of bits created by his stream. He looked so goddamned pleased with himself. "Mr. Anon.....this was, without a doubt, THE GREATEST HERO HOEDOWN AH EVER DID HAVE! YEEHAW!" He reached over and hugged you tightly. Not in a way that'd make you gasp for air thanks to your powered up body, but enough to let you know he was so damn happy.

...so..damn...happy.

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