• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,514 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 7

You gobbled up enough as to not overfill yourself. However, you also noticed Discord had not moved from his position. "Hey Dad… You do remember you were going to set something up...right?"

Discord was floating in mid air, on his back, resting his head on his chaotic limbs "Already did"

Already did? the hell? So was him playing with his talon tips really? "What? You didn't even mAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly you find yourself falling straight downwards into a void and landing head first into some dirt… You were going to get brain damage at one point from all this. Discord picked you up with his magic and immediately started to dust you off with his tail. "Anon, now is not the time to play in the dirt. I need you to be on your very best behavior. Understand?"

You cough and whack his tail away in anger. "I WASN'T PLAYING IN THE DIRT! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DROP ME ON MY GODDAMN HEAD?!"

Discord whacked you on the head lightly "Language Anon, language. And besides. I figured you'd land on your feet."



Discord looked up, in wonderment "Is it? hrnn.." then he shrugged "Cat, Pony. I don't think there’s too much of a difference. Besides, I don't understand the hostility after I just gave you such a delicious meal… Also," He whacks you again "language."

You rubbed your head… Ugh… You were surprised you didn't have a headache. "Can't you just handle me a little better? geez Discord. I'm supposed to be your son, remember?"

"Ah ah ah, you are supp-"

Now you cut him off "No look, I'll continue calling you dad if you just stop dropping me on my head. It hurts and I don't like it. Alright? capesh? Understand?"

"Fine fine" Discord said as he gently put you down after straightening up your top hat.

Fine?...just like that? "Really? no lie? no tricks?"

"No lie, no tricks. I don't have the time is all. Given I'd rather have a chat with Fluttershy while she is still available."


You looked around. Behind you was a small bridge, and ahead of you was Fluttershy's door to her cottage. He dropped you right at her front door. You started to feel a little nervous. This was one of the ponies you really wanted to meet. "S-so, what are we doing here exactly?"

Discord gave you a gentle and relaxing head rub. running his talons gently through your mane. It was as if he wanted you to calm down. "A visit of course. Any opportunity I have to visit Fluttershy, I shall take it. Besides, I want her to meet you."

You found yourself gently pushing your head into his talons until you realized you were enjoying it's relaxing feel. Irking you just enough to slowly pull away. "You mean to boast to her"

Discord shook his head "Oh no no, not to Fluttershy. I'd rather her just see what a great and loving draconequus I can be. That I'm not only capable of friendship with other ponies, but can transcend into fatherhood successfully without a hitch. Which is why I need you, Anon. To be on your very best behavior."

"Like with Twilight?"

Discord shook his head "No no, just be more natural, yet nice. Courteous. Because Anon.." suddenly his voice became hard and intimidating "If Fluttershy so much as has a single tear in her eyes, we'll see how hard that head is . By testing a drop from Cloudsdale. Alright? Capesh? Understaaaaaand?"

You gulped "Y-yeah...got it" Hrn… The complete opposite of Twilight. Even if he was being scary about it. He really did care about Fluttershy in his own way. Frighteningly so it seems.

Suddenly, he went back to jovial and lighthearted "Splendid, now you wait here until I call for you. I want it to be a surprise. Ohhhh..I can't wait for her to find out..now..ahrm ahrm"

You stepped a few steps back to conceal yourself near a bush while Discord knocked on the door after clearing his throat.

It didn't take long. But Fluttershy opened the door for him. and greeted him with a cheerful smile "Good afternoon Discord, It's quite a surprise to see you. How are you doing today?"

Oh man, you could see it from here. She was soooooo cute. And her voice. Hearing it in person made the rest of the pain in your head vanish as it soothed your brain.

"I'm doing fine Fluttershy, you are doing well too, I assume?" Discord asked. Wow..what a 180 on his fucking manners.

Fluttershy nodded "Ohhh yes, I'm alright. Even better to know you are fine. I thought that lecture Twilight had given made you angry and upset. I'm glad to see you're doing ok" She flew up to him and gave him a gentle hug.

Holy crap. He was like a damned puppy. He wasn't pulling any kind of tricks whatsoever. Hilarious really.

Discord returned the hug and gave her a soft smile "Well, it was quite a lot of order for a chaotic spirit such as myself to take in at once. But giving it enough time. It actually sank in."

Fluttershy seemed overjoyed by that remark "Really? That's wonderful Discord. I'm sure you'll be able to make all kinds of new friends if you follow everything Twilight had told you"

Discord slowly walked past her, then turned. His face seeming unsure "Ahh yes, about that. As I thought to myself about all this. I realized even with my new found knowledge. Not many ponies would forget all that nasty business with Tirek."

Fluttershy frowned "Well… I guess not. But Discord, I'm sure they'd come around if you showed them how good you really are like you show me"

"Ahh Fluttershy, how long would that take? Days...weeks...months..........years. No, I wouldn't be able to take it. So, I opted to take on an innocent soul who doesn't know anything of treachery or lies..."

Oh here we go. I guess he actually isn't above lying to her...for the most part.

Fluttershy didn't seem to understand "Discord? What do you mean by that?"

“It's exactly what I say... To prove I'm capable of friendship..I needed to take a step beyond. Into fatherhood to be exact. So… I adopted a son. Anon, will you come out here please?" That was your cue.

You popped out of the bushes with a smile. "Hi miss Fluttershy! I'm Anon!" You gave her a cute smile. You weren't faking this time. You really wanted to lay on some charm of your own.

However… her reaction… she stuttered… then fainted.

"...Oh shit...uhhh...was that supposed to happen?" You didn't expect that!

Discord curled his beard on his talon, unsure of what just happened "I actually have no idea. hrnnn...Perhaps she was overly stimulated from joy"

You doubted it. "Yeah no Dis..hmm..Dad...I don't think she was able to fully comprehend that you just went out and adopted a child just because you felt inadequate."

"What's to comprehend? Seems simple to me… In any case, I don't want her mane to get dirty so..." Discord snapped his fingers. Causing a bucket of water to appear over fluttershy and dropping water on her face, albeit the water was slow moving as and very deliberate in it's movement to cause shock without getting her face too wet. Discord didn't want her to be soaked and cold.

"AHH WHO WHAT..Umm...uh...what was I doing?" Fluttershy said as she awoke in a shock and looked around. Noticing a bucket suddenly in your mouth.
Even you hadn't noticed until you felt metal between your teeth. You quickly spit it out and smile nervously at her. "Haha… Hi..."

She wasn't fully oriented yet, and just gently replied back to you before looking at Discord. "Oh my...I didn't mean to fall asleep like that. And I had the oddest dream too. That you told me you adopted a son."

Discord smiled happily "Oh that wasn't a dream Fluttershy. I really did do that. And that’s him" He pointed towards you.

You introduced yourself again. "U-uhm… Hi… I'm Anon"

Fluttershy just looked back to Discord in a panic "Di-Discord. Please tell me you didn't adopt a colt just because you felt you couldn't make a friend...."

Discord nodded "I did exactly that… And there he is, the colt, my son. I don't see why you have to question it."

Fluttershy flew up to him, unsure, and worried "But Discord… raising a child is a big big big BIG responsibility. They are very impressionable and require tender loving care. Don't you think you are taking things a little too far? ...Just a smidge?"

Discord frowned. This time, it seemed genuine. a lot more than it was with Twilight. But still, a hint of dishonesty. "Fluttershy...You don't think that I'm incapable of raising this poor colt? this little foal who was cast aside to suffer."

Fluttershy seemed to have felt a jolt in her heart. She didn't want anyone to suffer "It's not that Discord… I think you could make a wonderful father… Just, not so soon. Not with a rash decision… And of course I'd never want anypony to suffer from anything like that..."

Your heart sank. She seemed so saddened that Discord would make such a decision. Not even knowing the whole truth of it. You walked up to her and nuzzled her… She was so soft. You just wanted to put her at ease.

"Don't worry miss Fluttershy, Dad is great! I think he's the best dad I ever had..."

Fluttershy looked down at you. To her, you seemed very loving. She kneeled a bit to nuzzle you back… oh man… oh~ man… so~ good and soft.

"Oh my...you are very sweet." Fluttershy giggled softly, already feeling a little perked up from your affection and those words "Do you really like your new father?"

You gave her a cute happy nod. The whole ensemble you had on really helped bring it home.
"Yup! He feeds me and plays with me..."

Heh… Plays with you alright… Not in the best ways… "And he's even helping me make friends myself!" Forcing… but again… whatever… you just wanted to perk up her mood. You didn't even notice you were blushing a little.

Fluttershy suddenly seemed overjoyed "Even helping you make new friends?" She turns to Discord "Discord...I don't know what to say. You really took Twilight's words to heart!I'm very very proud of you."

Discord gave her the happiest smile you've ever seen him give. "Fluttershy..Don't say things like that. You'll make my heart melt and possibly drown half of the town..."

Fluttershy gave him another hug "Oh Discord, don't make silly jokes like that. I'm being serious. I am very proud of you."

"Thank you Fluttershy..." Discord said with a soft quiver in his voice

Holy crap...what a sap. You can see a tear coming from his eye before it fell… upwards… Yeah ok. Still… it was a sweet scene. It actually was good to see him happy.

Fluttershy flew back down to you and gave you a joyful smile "Are you enjoying your time here in Ponyville, Anon?"

That smile… Oh god, your heart… Play it cool Anon. You realize, even if you wanted her. Discord would rip you limb to limb if you tried anything funny...besides..you were too young now.

You let out a nervous giggle. "Oh it's umm… pretty nice. I haven't got to see much of it yet. But Applebloom is going to be giving me a tour tomorrow morning! I really really can't wait!" You really really could wait…

Fluttershy again seemed overjoyed "How wonderful! You already made friends here. And with Applebloom too. She's a very sweet filly." She turned to Discord "you must be so proud, Discord!"

Discord actually didn't seem to care too much… Or maybe he did… You couldn't tell. But he gave her a thumbs up.

"Oh..and you'll be able to make more friends once Discord enrolls you in school. You'll like Miss Cheerilee, she's a fine teacher." ...Oh yeah, she was alright. One of the high ups on your side pony list.

"hehe, I just hope she can keep up with me...I'm pretty smart you know" You gave a wink

Fluttershy giggled "I'm sure you are. Are you good at math?"

You snickered. "Am I? Well...162 times 150 is 24300..isn't it?"

Fluttershy seemed puzzled "..u-uuhhm..." She turned to Discord.

Discord made numbers appeared and essentially did things like a magical calculator. coming to that answer "He's right"

Fluttershy… was now very impressed and began to rub your head gently with her hoof… oh man. It took everything in your power not to fall over and drool. You couldn't stop your blushing however… oh… it was so soothing.

"Discord, He's so smart and charming. And, I can already sense a little of him in you"

Discord seemed a little worrisome of that comment "That's not a bad thing? Is it?"

Fluttershy shook her head "No, It means he's confident. I can't imagine how it was in an orphanage… And I know.. how it is not to be confident sometimes. So to see you.." She turned to you "showing confidence shows me that your father is doing very well… I'm very proud."

Awww...she's so sweet and understanding. No wonder Discord bends to her. She's really the only pony who seems to believe in him through and through. "...would you be my mommy?"

Fluttershy Gasped, Discord seemed surprised. Oh shit… You just realized what you said. WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?!

Fluttershy gave you a hug "Oh Anon, that's so sweet...mnn..How about this. Since me and Discord are good friends..I wouldn't mind being your Aunt." She turns to Discord "If you don't mind of course."

Discord stammered a little "Me? Mind? o-of course not. I think it's a great idea. If I do say so myself."

Fluttershy giggled and patted your head "Then it's settled. If you will let me, I will be your Aunt Fluttershy from now on."

That...made you very happy. That was good enough. You gave her a hug of your own. "Thanks F..ahrm...Aunt Fluttershy. You made me even happier than I am now"

"You're very welcome Anon, and if you want to visit. My door is open anytime." Fluttershy, she was so damn quick to accept you and Discord's fatherhood. It really showed how much she cared about him really, and his feelings.

Discord made a loud throat clearing noise. "Yes, yes. I think it's great too. But me and Anon must be going. Still many things to do for his first day here."

Fluttershy just smiled and gave you one small pat before she flew up to Discord. "Alright then, it was very nice having you over Discord. And you too Anon. You both have a good day, and… Congratulations Discord… I am truly proud of you."

She gave him a very affectionate hug as she nuzzled her muzzle into his chest. Discord couldn't seem to help himself when he warmly smiled "T-thank you Fluttershy, I appreciate that. I really do."

It was touching. Even if he lied about how the adoption went down. He genuinely cared about Fluttershy. Seeing it happen face to face. You were sure of it now. The guy would risk his life for her at this point.

You all say your goodbyes as Fluttershy re-enters her home and Discord takes you back to his house. You look up at him with a smile. "Heh, That went pretty well, right Dad?"

Discord looks at you with a stern, mean look.

...Oh shit… What did you do?

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