• Published 21st Oct 2017
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Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 113

You pass by Discord, who was still trying to figure it out, and head right up to Twilight and Spike. Though, your attention was entirely on Twilight. "Heya Twilight."

You keep your tone pleasant and welcoming. It was a party after all. And at this point, your anger and worry about nearly being sent to Tartarus was gone. Nearly anyway. Though, looking at Twilight's puffy eyes. she still had it deep in her mind.

"Anon, hi. Ummm. Enjoying your party?" Twilight too, was keeping a pleasant tone, though. She just didn't want to incite any anger out of you. While also not fully knowing what she should say to you.

You nod. "It's ok, there's a few bumps. But it's because I barely know anypony here."

"I know that feeling. I remember when I came to Ponyville and Pinkie threw me a "Welcome to Ponyville" party. I didn't really want one because at the time, I thought friendship wasn't important." Twilight looked rather nervous and sheepish. But that could also be due to the fact that she also looked so damn tired. "Weird hearing that from the Princess of Friendship, huh?"

Spike was just observing. Not saying a word. Which was perfect for you. Because you just wanted to let Twilight know things were ok. Almost... You still wanted that conversation about changelings. Although the party wasn't the right time for it.

You shake your head, you didn't think it weird. But that's because you been watching her since she was a unicorn. "Nope, I don't know too much. But I know you started out as Celestia's top student and apprentice. And though you had many friendship trials and adversities. You managed to get through them all with the Magic of Friendship. Enough to prove yourself worthy of becoming the Alicorn Princess of Friendship. From defeating big time villains to giving your time to even the smallest of friendship problems, you did it all Twilight Sparkle. So nope, I don't find it weird."

There were two reasons you said that. One, you thought the praise may cheer her up a little. And two, you wanted to put into her head that you were DEFINITELY not average in intelligence.

"Woah, and here I thought you were still mad at Twilight. And what you said." Spike looked to Twilight, he was greatly impressed by your words. "Twilight, Fluttershy wasn't kidding. This guy is smart."

Twilight didn't respond to Spike however. Instead, She was processing your words in her head. Including the praise you had just given her. A part of her still found it suspiciously curious, but she forced herself not to inquire into it. She didn't want to upset you or piss you off. Instead, she just checks if you're still mad at her. "Does, that mean you're not angry at me anymore? Because, I am really sorry. I know an apology isn't enough. So if you want, we can have that conversation, right now. Right here."

Spike looked towards the crowd, then back to Twilight "Err, Twilight. you do realize were in the middle of a party, right? Don't you think you should relax first?"

Twilight shook her head. "No Spike, this is a problem that needs to be fixed right now" Twilight stomped her hoof "Right right now!"

You had to agree with Spike on this one. "Er, Twilight. I'm with Spike on this one. It's a party, it'd be kind of rude if I spent the rest of the time with you talking politics. Why don't you just go and enjoy the party for now? You know, relax."

"B-but, the only reason I agreed to come was so I could talk to you. This is a problem I need to fix."

What? You doubted that's what Fluttershy would have wanted.

"You agreed to come here only to talk to me? And not for the party? I don't think Aunt Fluttershy would have accepted that. She would have wanted you to come for the fun and to let loose."

Twilight grimaced "Actually, that's exactly what Fluttershy wanted me to come for. But I just couldn't do it. Your father was the one who said it'd make sense to come to the party to talk with you about the changelings, that'd you'd be up for it right there and then."

Wut? At a party?

"Twilight, I don't wanna be rude or anything but, I don't think that was a good idea. I want to have that chat yeah, but it's a party. You're supposed to have fun."

Spike pointed to Twilight. "See, I told you. You're not supposed to talk boring stuff at a party, Twilight. You're supposed to.." Spike through his arm up "PARTY!"

You nodded in agreeance to Spike's words. "Yeah, that's right. Twilight, I think my Dad just lied to you so you would have a reason to come and enjoy the party."

"Anon" Twilight giggled, drunk on her own tiredness "Your dad wouldn't lie about something like that. Applejack is the most honest pony I know." Twilight started to tip over, Spike had to hold her up. What? What happened? What about Applejack?

"Spike, what's wrong with her?"

"She hasn't slept at all Anon. She really lost it when she realized what she did. I was with her all night while she just paced in the castle library muttering who knows what. I managed to get her in bed but she'd only sleep for minutes at a time before waking up for another half hour or so. It was really crazy stuff."

"Huh? Wait… How'd you manage to stay up all night then? Don't baby dragons just go out like a light during the night?"

"I ate a lot of doughnuts that night, Anon. A lot of doughnuts. I know I'm going to pay for it later, but for Twilight. I'd ride a thousand sugar rushes for her… and for Rarity… a million."

So Twilight was only working on a little energy. She was in no condition to party, much less have a discussion.

"Wait right here, give me a second." You say as you do a quick U-turn towards Pinkie

Spike couldn't say anything, only giving a yelp as Twilight's weight overtakes him, Twilight landing right on him as she begins to snore.


You walk back up to Pinkie, who seemed to be securing a rope on the other side of the stage, You tap her on the side of her flank to get her attention. "Ponk?"

Pinkie turned around with a smile "Heya Nonny, what are you doing over here?" Pinkie starts to gently shove you away "You don't want to come over here, there's… uhhh..bears! That's right! Bears! Oooooooo!"

She must have been securing something for later in the party.

"Oh, right bears yeah, gotcha. But Ponk, I gotta talk to you about Twilight."

"Twilight? What's wrong with her Nonny? Is she not having fun? Because, I can personally fix that!"

You point over to the sleeping Alicorn, laying on her side at the other side of the stage. "I don't think she's able to party right now Ponk, she's dead tired."

At least Discord tried. If it wasn't for her being dead tired, you could have probably put in the effort to get her to join in. But she just was too tuckered out for the party.

"Wow, I didn't realize the party was that crazy. It looks like she only took three steps before she out partied herself. Weird, Twilight usually has a lot more in her than that."

Sure, let's go with that. "Err, yeah. Do you think you can do something about that? You know, give her a place to rest?"

Pinkie nodded "Of course! I can just put her in my room and put corks in her ear in case the party gets too loud for her,"

"That'd be great Ponk, thanks"

Pinkie gave you a boop on the nose "Don't be silly Nonny, I don't need a thanks. It's just what friends do for their friends. Just let me get Twilight set up in the bed and we can get to the gift opening! And then after that, the Fir-..." Pinkie stopped herself ".....and then..thinnnnggsss.."

She must have meant whatever that rope was for. Pinkie, with relative ease, used her face to gently toss up Twilight onto her back. She then got off the stage to go into the Sugarcube Corner, which was behind the stage.

Spike looked to you, it looked like he was trying to figure something out. It was kind of uncomfortable. "You know, now that I think about it.It is kind of weird that you're so smart. Hrnnn, did Discord make you that smart with his magic?"

Well, that was intrusive. "No, it's just, I'm just that smart." The subject of you bring smart has been brought up so many times that at this point you were afraid of letting something slip just because of how natural it seemed to be, despite the fact you wanted to be above average colt I.Q. in the eyes of ponies. "And I don't want to get into it, It's just. I catch onto things quick."

Spike then looked upon your blank flank. "Yeah, I noticed. I've never met a colt as smart as you before. I haven't even met a lot of stallions that were that smart. And the fact your smartness got you compared to bugbreath? I dunno dude, I would expect a book or something to be your Cutie Mark. That's a real special talent you got."

But it really wasn't. You were just an average joe in a kid pony's body. With a more realistic outlook on things due to not being so accustomed to love and friendship every 5 seconds. Or used to anyway. "I guess, but then that means whatever IS my cutie mark is going to be pretty crazy, right?"

Spike didn't even think about that, upon hearing that revelation, he was blown away "Wooooah, I didn't even think about that. Whatever it is, I bet it's going to be really nuts! I just hope nopony thinks it's a bad thing like how Twilight thought you were Queen Chrysalis. That could be pretty bad, really bad even"

Woah woah, where'd this negativity come from? It was mostly just out of worry. He'd never seen Twilight do anything like that before. Banishing a colt because he was super smart and mentioning a subject about a species she just dealt with. He thought that it could get worse.

Though, you were smarter than that.

"Relax, Me and Twilight. That was just a chance misunderstanding. There's no reason to really worry."

"Maybe, but maybe not. I dunno Anon, I'm just saying that since you managed to beat up two stallions, and accidentally fool Twilight. That you got this… I dunno… this strange luck thing around you. Like, you're always lucky to make friends and even get Fluttershy as an Aunt. But then you have this really bad luck, like when the changelings tried to frame you and Discord, or getting attacked by those two stallions in the first place. It's always really out there."

It really was, but the circumstances weren't unexplainable. You just… couldn't explain them to the ponies. "Well yeah, look who my Dad is" You point to Discord, who was STILL trying to figure out Pinkie's showmanship.

"Ohhhhhhhh yeeeaaahhh, that explains everything, never mind" Spike felt stupid, somehow forgetting that Discord would be a good reason to all the hijinx you've dealt with thus far.

Pinkie returned back to the stage, and walked right up to you with a smile "Well, Twilight's all comfy cozy sleeping on my bed! It's a shame she's gonna miss out on the rest of the party! but, the show must go on! Nonny, why don't you go get your Aunt and..." Pinkie noticed Discord still looking at the microphone and walked over to him "Whatcha doin?"

Discord was annoyed at this point "What does it look like? I'm trying to figure out how you made this thing force those ponies to applause."

Pinkie giggled "Force? Hehe, that's silly Discord. I didn't force them to do anything. It's all in the way you present yourself."

"Present yourself? Do you know who I am? I am Discord! I can present myself in any way I choose!"

Pinkie shook her head "You can, but not that way. You gotta be happy, all smiles, you gotta show them that good times are right around the bend. Even if it's with a few words. It's all about how you sound! Watch this!" Pinkie took the microphone from Discord and walked to the front of the stage. "HELLO EVERYPONY,ARE YOU ALL HAVING FUN?"

They all cheer.


Pinkie then started speaking in a softer tone. "I know some of you got confused about birthdays and that's ok, but I also know that some of you didn't, and even the ones that did? you never took back your gifts. Which I think is really neato, because even though it's not Anon's birthday. I'm glad that we can still party like it is anyway. Because Anon, well, he was an orphan. And he never got to experience what a good party is really like. And, well, I'm glad we can show him just how happy, nice, and friendly Ponyville really is"

Pinkie then looks to you, her smile was a lot softer, less festive, and more emotional. "And I'm glad Anon really loves it here too, he's so young and yet so brave. He's the kind of guy that would stick his neck out for you if you were ever in trouble. And he's so easy to talk to. And yet, he's super duper smart. As smart as any stallion or mare. Why, when I first saw him. I already felt this nice and warm connection to him, I even had a nickname for him ,"Nonny", and that name… it just felt right. He's a good colt. And he'll make a great stallion."

Pinkie then looked towards the audience again and held her hoof out. "But before you stamp your hooves in applause, let me say one more thing. We wouldn't even be having this party today if it wasn't for his father, Discord. Despite what many of you may think, Discord took it upon himself to take care of a poor lonely colt and raise him like his own. Nopony took Anon in, and when nopony would. Discord stepped up to the plate for Anon. And from what I could tell, he's doing a super duper good job in raising him..."

...Holy shit… You didn't expect this coming from her. Her words, her words pierced deep into your heart. So deep that you started to tear up. "...come on Ponk..don't do th-..huh?"

You saw Discord holding a handkerchief to you, you looked up at him. He was tearing up too. "Take it Anon… you look like you need it..."

Christ… the feels. You take the handkerchief and wipe your eyes. This was heavy stuff.

"And to you too Spike, I think you'll need it" Discord held one to Spike aswell

"Ummm, nah, I'm good." Spike wasn't as phased as you or Discord.

Discord shoved the hankerchief into his claws "I insist! You're really going to need it!"

"Wha?! hey! don't do th-..." Spike stops as he catches a whiff of something "What's that smell?"

Discord, still crying, points downwards at Spike's feet. There were cut onions, smellier than usual. And taking an immediate effect on

Spike. "W-what?! T-that's not… oh man! Now I'm crying! but for the wrong reasons! Wahhhh!" Spike started to wipe his eyes now.

Pinkie Pie continues "I mean, sure he turned Ponyville into a crazy looney land once, and yeah, there was that time he teamed up with Tirek and nearly doomed us all..."

Ohh Pinkie nooo, don't say that.

And despite you cringing from those words, feeling it was either a bad joke or Pinkie being Pinkie. it only seemed to make Discord more enthralled and emotional.

"But he also makes life lots more interesting and fun sometimes, and I think Anon needs that. In fact, if anypony were to ask me "Pinkie, don't you think there are better dads for Anon?". I would say "Nope, Discord is the best Dad Anon could have. He's fun, full of wisdom stuff, is very caring, and makes things interesting! Also, he teaches Anon lots of stuff other Dads couldn't teach. That's probably one of the reasons Anon is so smart!". Yup, that's exactly what'd I'd say. Because In my heart, I know it's true. In fact, he cares so much about Anon that he let Fluttershy be his Aunt! And you know Fluttershy, she's the softest, nicest, most lovable pony you'll ever meet! Yup, Discord really is a good guy once you look past all the stuff he did in the past! so come on everypony, let's hear a big ol’ shout for the whole family. Let's hear it for Anon,Discord, and Fluttershy!"

And in just that instance, the crowd erupted into cheers and applause for the three of you. While you and Discord looked upon the cheering ponies on the stage. You could see Fluttershy,among the crowd, being tossed up like it was a mosh pit. It seemed she went hiding in the crowd to avoid the spotlight Discord had generated. Though looking at her now, she looked half happy, and half terrified. She didn't seem to know what to do. And at the same time. Didn't mind it.

You were absolutely speechless. Even if you knew some of that was born off of lies, the way Pinkie said it made it feel so real. It made you feel that despite the lies, that was the truth of it. You didn't even feel any guilt. Or to be exact, your mind didn't know if it SHOULD feel any. At least for the moment. You knew sooner or later it'd creep back up to you, or maybe not. You didn't know. But for the sake of Pinkie and that speech. You'd do your best to keep it together for the rest of the party.

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