• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 10,514 Views, 2,803 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter

Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 38

You dream a wonderful dream. Just being cuddled by Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie in an open meadow. Good~ shit.

They were just nuzzling and cuddling into you. It made you feel warm and nuzzly inside. Warm.
Nuzzly. Hot… Oohhh… yeah… they were nuzzling your cute colt body all over with their muzzles and hooves.

But of course, before this could get too steamy. You are suddenly blasted by a heavy wind, sending all three of you forward into darkness.

"GYYYAHH!" You jump up, awakening in fright.

There was thunder and lighting inside Fluttershy's house! no rain. But it was all gathering in one spot.

You even see Fluttershy in fright. She catches you and holds you close to protect you "W-What's going on?! Is anypony there?"

Suddenly, both you and her can hear Discord's laughter. "Yes there is my dear Fluttershy, it is I. The great, the mighty, the heroic, and devilishly handsome..."

Suddenly, the clouds gathered into one spot and release one frightening lightning blast. Making Fluttershy duck her head and hold yours down. At last, Discord appeared… In a Wonderbolt outfit, complete with goggles. "DISCORD OF THE WONDERBOLTS!"

In his arms was Rainbow Dash, he was holding her upside down.

Fluttershy looked up, shaking. "D-d-discord?"

"...Yes...I..I just said that..." Discord moaned in disappointment, he thought he'd get thunderous applause.

Rainbow Dash started struggling "Let me down Discord! Come on! I can feel the blood rushing into my brain!"

"Ugh… fine… no appreciation for the captivating and dramatic at all" Discord let's her go. Rainbow Dash is able to catch herself before hitting her head on the ground and begins to hover.

"Appreciation? pfft, whatever. there's nothing "dramatic" about pretending to be a Wonderbolt. So if you don't mind, take that costume off already! It's insulting to the REAL Wonderbolts." Rainbow Dash was none too pleased with Discord's antics.

"I think it suits me fine, I did manage to find those two loathsome criminals before you or them after all. I think that actually makes me better than a Wonderbolt to tell you the truth… But how could I resist not being one when they have such stylish goggles?" Discord taps and rubs the goggles he has "So stylish"

Fluttershy tries to talk, hearing about the criminals being caught "Y-you.."

Oh… Holy crap… They "caught" them? How did they manage that?

Unfortunately, everything gets cut off by a now angry Rainbow Dash "YOU AREN'T A WONDERBOLT DISCORD! YOU DIDN'T EVEN CATCH THEM. THEY GOT EATEN BY THAT GIANT PLANT!"

...Oh… Well… That's one way to take care of it...

"E-eaten?" Fluttershy stammers "T-they...they got eaten?!"

Rainbow Dash turns to Fluttershy, and sees the utter horror in her face. She didn't mean to upset her. But Discord got her riled up. She didn't even realize she got teleported into Fluttershy's house. "Fluttershy… ummm… I didn't see you… haha, look, don't get upset or anything. They were bad guys… they… uhh… kind of deserved it."


Oh geez… maternal mode Fluttershy. Her voice was nowhere near piercing. But it was still sharp in tone.

Discord turns to Rainbow Dash and smirks "Yes Rainbow Dash, how could you say such an awful thing in front of my son"

Fluttershy, in the midst of her own anger, suddenly became timid and looked to Rainbow Dash with a shamed look "S-sorry… I… I didn't mean to get too angry… I just… sorry."

But Rainbow Dash wasn't worried about that. "W-wait… I know that… wait… He's… your… WHAT?! YOU HAVE A WHAT?!..." Rainbow Dash then noticed you being close to Fluttershy . "FLUTTERSHY… Y-YOU DIDN'T!... TELL ME YOU DIDN'T!"

...Ohh… fucking shit. That's fucking hilarious. You had to hide your face in your hooves and laugh as silently as you could. Fluttershy retorted back, shocked at her friend's response.

"Rainbow Dash! A-are you honestly suggesting..?! I'm… I'm offended Rainbow Dash… you know I'd never..." She had to stop...and blushed heavily just at the thought of the word "...y-y-you know… do that… kind of thing before marriage… I'm his aunt… He was adopted by Discord… Didn't you know that?"

No she fucking forgot, she was probably so full of herself that day she showed off that she forgot that fucking detail. You started making muffled giggly noises.

Fluttershy looked towards you, unable to see your tears, she thought you were crying "Oh Anon..." She suddenly brings you close for a hug and runs her hoof through your mane. "D-don't cry… It's ok..."

Discord smirked and then looked at Rainbow Dash with a false disposition of concern, he knew what you were doing, but played along with it "Now, look what you've done. Really, Rainbow Dash? As the element of loyalty, I'd expect you to be the last pony to make such callous assumptions. I'd appreciate it if you apologized to my son."

Rainbow Dash felt ashamed of herself. Accusing her friend of such a thing. She was just surprised, she didn't know Discord had adopted you.

Rainbow Dash landed on her hooves, and approached you. You had to take a deep breath. You had to stop giggling before they noticed. "Heya..Anon, I didn't mean uhhh… whatever made you upset, what made him upset exactly?"

THAT DOESN'T HELP. You're practically screaming in your hooves, trying to muffle yourself.

Again, Fluttershy takes this as you even being more upset. and cuddles you closer. Then looks at Rainbow Dash with utmost disappointment "Well, for talking about ponies being eaten, and for saying that… other thing… The poor thing, he's probably so confused… It's ok Anon."

This constant cuddling, it was helping you stop your giggling, but you were still having trouble with that smile. You had to keep hiding it. But it was too rich not to be fattening. Rainbow Dash still didn't seem to sure on why she had to apologize. The… mommy daddy thing sure… but ponies getting eaten… moreso… bad guys getting eaten? She thought a colt would think that was cool.

"Ok..ok...Look..Anon...I'm sorry for scaring you about the bad guys being eaten and… ummm… getting you confused and upset with your dad and… your aunt… We square?"

You couldn't look at her, so you just say. "Y-yeah..gsh..w-were square...ghe.."

Rainbow Dash mistook your mirthful mutters as sorrowful whimpers. "Geez, hey… if it makes you feel better, umm.. Well..." She wasn't very good at this. "Well...if you ever wanted to feel what flying is like..I could take you around the skies of Ponyville if you want. Doesn't that sound cool?"

Actually… it did. You took another breath, and got your smile down. You slowly turned over to Rainbow Dash, because hell. flying around as super speeds? That sounded damn pretty awesome. And besides, it'd also means she's just doing it because she felt stupid. A definite plus.

"That..doesn't sound bad… umm, apology accepted." You say as you fully compose yourself

"And um… Sorry Fluttershy… you know I didn't mean to say that. I just kinda got caught off guard..."

Fluttershy, of course, being the way she is. couldn't stay mad at Rainbow Dash. "It's ok Rainbow Dash..just umm..please think..before you say something like that...please." Rainbow Dash nodded.

You look over to Discord, out of everyone there. You were the most interested in how he managed to finally wrap up his ruse.

"Dad… how, uhh… how did those guys get… eaten exactly?"

Fluttershy chimed in before Discord could say a word "Anon… I don't think you want to hear that kind of story.."

But you did, you simply HAD to know. "...I do actually. It really really makes me curious.."

Discord looked to Fluttershy "Fluttershy, If he wants to hear it, I say he should know. He does have a right to know what happened to his attackers. If it gets too intense, he can speak up."

Rainbow Dash, hearing Discord's words, suddenly seemed intrigued in something "Woah woah woah… hold on, attacked? Wait… you're the kid that fought off those two guys?"

Seems she was impressed. you nod to her and smugly smirk. "Yep, but they weren't too tough. I showed em what it meant to mess with me!"

Discord rolled his eyes. Rainbow Dash however, was examining your face. "Woah, you don't even have a mark on you. That's..." Rainbow Dash was indeed, incredibly impressed. "...Awesome.."

You couldn't help but feel arrogant. Ahh, but it wasn't too long to last sadly.

Fluttershy giggled and tapped your head "Now Anon, shouldn't you tell her about your eye?"

Rainbow Dash was confused "His eye? both look fine to me."

"...Yeah… about that. Actually, we ran into Rarity. And she put some stuff on me that covered up this black eye I got."

Rainbow Dash, upon hearing that, was not the least bit deterred "She did huh? I wonder why she would do that? You know how awesome it is to take down two stallions by yourself? that takes a lot of guts. That black eye is sort of a badge of honor."

"Excuse me!" Discord interrupted "But I was about to tell a story here!" He didn't like the fact that he couldn't hear himself talk

Rainbow Dash turned over to Discord and waved her hoof daintily at him "Yeah Yeah, hold your horses Discord. Can't you see two heroes are having a talk?"

"Are you shushing me?! Do you forget who I am?!" Discord walked up to her, shaking his talon at her.

Uh oh..

"U-ummm… can we not have a fight please… D-discord, you can tell the story, umm, after Rainbow Dash is done, please? I'd rather hear the… scarier story last" Fluttershy told him, trying to get him to calm down.

"Yeah Discord, you'll get your chance. Besides, you should be proud that your kid turned out to be a pretty cool colt… So Anon, were ya scared? I bet you weren't. Nah, you look like you got a mean streak about you. That's pretty~ awesome"

Discord crossed his arms "Hmph… fine… but only because Fluttershy asked."

Fluttershy smiled at Discord "Thank you for understanding Discord… don't worry, you'll have your chance."

"I was a little scared, y'know? But nah, when things got tough. I gritted my teeth and beat the crud out of em. Actually, I beat the big guy so hard that his voice went squeaky" You rubbed your hoof on your chest "Yup, he had trouble even getting up to run away. And the other guy? I sent him right into the alley wall"

"Woah, wait, so that crater in the wall in that alley… you caused that? REALLY?! WOAH! THAT'S AWESOME! Anon, the only other earth pony I know that can hit that hard is Applejack. You know how crazy it is that somepony like you can hit so hard?"

"Well… ya know" You didn't want to overdo it… but damn, were you enjoying the praise. "I mean, it could have been a lucky shot. But who knows? maybe I just don't know my own strength."

Rainbow Dash gave your head a pat "Hey, you're a hero, you don't ever have to be modest. Got it?"

You hesitantly nodded… You knew you weren't no hero. But the fact you did hit Discord's weak spot reassured you that you could probably win a few battles the mane 6 would have trouble winning at first with a swift kick to the nuts.

"Ya know, Discord. I gotta say. I had you pegged as a jerk. But talking with your kid. He seems pretty ok. You're doing alright" Rainbow Dash, surprisingly, even gives Discord some praise

Discord stopped his petty anger and instead went into his own brand of arrogance "Of course he is, I am the most qualified for the job of raising a colt… Ahh yes, actually, that was another thing I wanted to get to." Discord pulls out a copy of the paperwork Twilight had Spike write on back during the evaluation "I'm so good a father that even Princess Twilight herself has given me an official review and I passed with flying colors… see!" He held it up proudly.

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