• Published 21st Oct 2017
  • 21,807 Views, 3,537 Comments

Dadonequus Discord (Book 1) - CrazedLaughter



Discord makes a deal with an anonymous human. The human gets to live a good life in Equestria. And Discord? he gets to have a son of his own. Of course, his only reason is to impress Fluttershy and annoy Twilight.

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Chapter 193 - Twilight Week Arc

Author's Note:

Tonight!
Anon is smooth.
Diamond Tiara's face becomes nearly permanently red
And Rainbow Dash is obnoxious as usual(

Diamond Tiara frowned at you. "Anon...don't tease me"

Oh man...could this be an opportune moment to charm her? You lean in and give her a cocky grin. "Who's teasing?"

"Wait" Diamond looked at you, her entire body building up with excitement. "You...mean it?"

You nod, giving her a joyous, reassuring smile. "I always mean it"

Diamond Tiara's stance and expression changed in an instant. She lunged at you at the power of a Pinkie Pounce, knocking you on your back. She hugged and cuddled you with uncontrollable hype. "OhmygoshohmygoshOHMYGOSH! ANON! YOU'RE AMAZING! YOU'RE THE MOST AMAZING COLT EVER!" She hops off of you and starts zipping around, unable to contain her excitement at all "THIS IS AMAZING! I'M GOING TO MEET PRINCESS CELESTIA! WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TEA TOGETHER! WE'RE GOING TO AMAZE EACH OTHER WITH OUR VIEWS AND HIGH STANDING! IT'S GOING TO BE...GREAT!"

You get up slowly, and as you do. You can see a strand of your mane hanging on your nose. It was knocked out of place. And your tux...agh..it had dirt on it. Brushing it off with your hoof was barely working. But...then as you look at Diamond, you can feel her happiness piercing your heart. It was nice to see her this way. Plus...this was easy after all. You had this in the bag.

"Anon! Anon! We have to get to the train station quick! We gotta go now!" She was hopping forward and back, facing you then the train station's direction then back to you. It was cute. She was being spastic.

You have yourself a giggle. You were planning to use your horn. But...a train ride would give you a shot to talk to her one on one...maybe..romance her.. "Alright Alright, but are you sure you want to take the train?"

She nodded profusely Then started hopping forward "Of course I do!" She gives you a look as if you were insane for a moment before smiling again "It's the only way to Canterlot that's quick! besides! We can enjoy the luxury of first class.....oh wait."

Diamond turns to you with a cringe. She didn't want to make it sound like your poor. She knew you had money...but enough for First class? "Anon....I didn't insult you. did I?"

Wut? "What do you mean?" No seriously...wut?

"Well....it's first class...I mean...we can just pay for a regular-"

No, you immediately got it and smiled at her. A sweet yet arrogant little smile.

As if you didn't have the cash. Hah! Even if you do eventually run out. You could summon more with the horn. "Nope, first class. And I will be buying BOTH our tickets"

"Both?!" Diamond Tiara's eyes went wide "Anon, you don't have that much money....do you?"

"Just trust me on this, we're going to go the ways of royalty. I promise."

Diamond began to blush, and she couldn't look at your face anymore, she felt too embarrassed. "Anon..you're always nice to me. I...I wish when we met. That....mnn"

Awwww… "Hey, it's nothing. That was the past and you had a lot of things you had to deal with. Besides, if we never ended up punished. We wouldn't be here right now. So, let's just focus on getting you to that princess. Huh?"

You step past her, leading the way to the train station. She doesn't follow at first, she just looks at you longingly

"You make me feel like a princess...." She says under her breath, she was stricken with you, that she found it hard to even contain those words.

She then follows you. Admiring you, loving you more than she ever had.

You both walk to the train station. You tell Diamond Tiara of how you're hanging out with Twilight for the week as well. saying how it's giving you experience to be more proper. She just looked in awe, impressed. To this filly, you were amazing. Getting to stay with the princess herself? Truly amazing.

When you both reach the booth. You already recognize the pony behind it. You wondered what he would have to say this time. Because upon looking at you, he already has disdain in his eyes. "Back again, are we?"

You nod, something about this guy always rubbed you the wrong way. You know he was doing his job. And maybe Starlight kicking in the booth was a little much. But it's like he could never forgive YOU for that. Whatever, that's fine. He had no reason to stop you this time. And you had a yearning to show him up and impress Diamond Tiara with your cash. "I am, and I want two first class tickets this time."

"What? You can't expect me to believe you have enough money for two tickets. Or do you have another convenient excuse? Are you going to try to get free tickets from me?" This guy. Still salty against a colt. Sad really...

Before you could say anything. Diamond, feeling a rage for the fact that he just insinuated you were both poor and a swindler, started to yell at him. "Hey! Hey you! How dare you!"

The pony's attention shifts to Diamond, but it seems he didn't recognize her as a daughter of the Richs. And just sighed "Listen kid, no offense. But I don't have time for games. I got tickets to sell."

Diamond, in her anger, pushes you aside and leaps up onto the booth to look at the pony straight in the eyes. He actually flinched from her approach. "You listen here! That's Anon, the hero colt. So you better show him some respect! Speaking of which, I am Diamond Tiara, heir to the Rich estate. And unless you want me to go to my mother or father and have you downsized. You will show us BOTH the respect we deserve. AND....you will give us free first class tickets as forgiveness."

She throws her head up in the air, with a "hmph" and faces away from the stallion, brushing off dirt from her back hoof onto his chest before hopping down next to you. Damn, that raw anger. You hoped never to be at the end of it.

The teller stallion behind the booth seemed to have realized who she actually was. He didn't even question it. He just printed the two tickets and passed them over. "Here you are Miss Tiara...Anon...ummm....ahrm" He didn't seem to know what else to say.

Diamond Tiara took the tickets in her mouth and walked triumphantly to the train, her tail swishing in happiness. You follow with a smile. Free tickets..that's awesome.

You follow her into the first class car. This would be interesting. You never noticed or even knew a first class car existed on the train. Then again, Rich ponies have to get about somehow. So it wasn't far fetched either.

And as you both enter, it was both as you expected and a little overwhelming at the same time. The seats had super soft velvet cushions. A small set of chandeliers hung up. Each one adorned with a small glowing orb in the middle. Probably to keep them in place. The car had more room than any other car. And it had waiters and food and even passengers of all kinds. They even served..woah..meat. But it seemed only the rich and snobby griffons were eating meat. The car itself had beautiful rose red walls and cush soft carpet on the floor.

You and Diamond choose a private seating at the other end of the car.. Instead of sitting across from you. She sits next to you...closely..very closely. And then she looks at you with a bright smile "So Anon, is this your first time in first class?"

You nod. "Yeah, this is my first time. It's really nice. It's like a rich restaurant in here."

"That's because it pretty much is. You don't ever have to get up for your food either. And the food? Well, it has all a pony could ask for. Speaking of which, are you going to make an order?"

"Are you hungry?" You ask

"A little, but. The food is also expensive and-"

You put a hoof gently on her mouth. a move you've seen work in the movies and cartoons many a time. And as expected, it makes her blush and just..stop talking. Hahahahaha...this was too easy. "Then let me make an order......uhh.." Then you realized....there was no menus… "So..do we wait for somepony..or?"

Diamond Tiara giggled "No, we have to call upon a waiter when we're ready to be served. It's not like those cheap restaurants where you have to wait or when those waitresses come at the worst time. No, here. They work on our time. Come on, go ahead. give it a try."

That easy huh? You raise your hoof up in the air and start calling out "Can I get a waiter here please? We're ready to order"

You take a look back to see if there was any waiter who heard you. But as you look back, it seems a waiter from your side had heard your call and rushed right over. "Heya, what can I get you two?"

You stop....what kind of fancy smancy waiter says "Heya"? And why was their voice tomboyish? You turn to your side to see your waiter.

.....oh......god...NO.

It was Rainbow Dash...with a shit mustache..a shit disguise....what the fuck...was she...how she..WHAT?! Why...WHY?! WHAT REASON!? WHAT?!

You look upon the light blue colored winged horse with absolute dread. Why? Was that her? It had to be her. Despite her mustache being black. Her mane was still that distinctive rainbow color. Did no one else notice she didn't belong? No..of course not. You forget that ponies can be fooled by simple disguises.

Though Diamond Tiara didn't seem to feel the waiter was right either. She just looked at her up and down with judging eyes. "You're a waiter here?"

Rainbow Dash nodded "Course, been working here for years. Now, can I get your orders?"

You let out a near quiet, but dreaded "Rainbow Dash?"

It was enough for her to hear and answer accordingly. Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes and looks at you with a smirk "Rainbow Dash? Never heard of her, but she sounds like the coolest pony I ever heard of. Now..your orders?"

".......Are you sure you work here?" Diamond Tiara had never seen such unprofessionalism from a first class waiter.

"I told you, I've been working here for years." Rainbow Dash says, putting confidence in her voice.

"It's just....well...where's the menus? And....why aren't you speaking more respectfully?" Diamond narrowed her eyes at her. She could tell something was definitely off.

"Menus? Oh right..menus..." Rainbow Dash uses her teeth to pull out two large menu sheets from her vest. She places them down in front of you and Diamond. "There you are, and let me just say. You both look wicked cool today. I bet you all would like to hear a cool story, right?"

Diamond Tiara shook her head with disdain. "No....we'd like our private time"

Where was Rainbow even getting at? Whatever, you nodded to Diamond's words. You didn't want Rainbow anywhere near you. "Y-yeah, I'm sure you need to go take other orders."

"What? Come on, I have this really interesting story about...clowns." Rainbow Dash looks at you with inquisitive eyes "You wouldn't know anything about clowns...would you?"

Oh no.....that's what she was here for?! You don't know what the fuck gave her the idea of clowns...no..oh god. Did she come to the conclusion that you freaked Twilight out with the whole clown thing? Fuuuck. That's what she was here for, she was still investigating what happened. Dammit...you had to find a way to get her to fuck off. While not compromising your guilt. "Wouldn't know anything about clowns other than the ones you can see at a circus. What does that even have to do with food anyway?
Can't you leave us be while we make our order?"

"Geez, you're snobby. I just want to make a little small talk, that's all." What Rainbow Dash didn't realize however, was that was a bad idea to say in front of Diamond Tiara.

"Snobby? Did you just call my Anon...snobby?" Diamond's eyes narrowed to a point to pierce Rainbow's very soul "I want to talk to your manager."

But Rainbow Dash did her best to keep her cool, but she didn't expect to be immediately called out in such a way. She was surprised at how snobbish the both of you were being right now. Or her definition of snob was anyway. She backed away slowly. "Yeah sure...just gimme a minute"

And she walked off into the door that leads to the kitchen car. And so you and Diamond waited. But nobody showed up. Was she stalling? Mnn..you lean your head down on the table and gaze out the window.......and then see Rainbow Dash following the train high high up in the air.

The fucking bitch bailed and changed tactics.

You keep your eye on her. That Rainbow Dash… Sure she was right, but goddammit, you weren't about to compromise yourself and make yourself seem like a big asshole just for her satisfaction of being right. Stupid fucking Rainbow d-

Your thoughts get broken when Diamond gives you a shake "Anon?"

You turn to her, she was frowning. She didn't feel comfortable with the fact that you seemed to be visibly upset. "Anon, forget about that waiter. Let's just ask for another one, ok?" She then noticed you were staring out the train window, she didn't notice Rainbow Dash, so she assumed you must have been upset. "Are you ok?"

......darnit. Stupid Rainbow Dash...don't let her ruin this.. "I'm ok, sorry. Was just a little peeved. That waiter is probably getting a talking to right now anyway." You give her a confident, yet false smile

"Ok, let's get another waiter." Diamond scooches closer to you. And rests herself at your side. Her head nuzzling just under yours. "Does this make you feel better?"

Seems she could see through your fake smile. And wanted to replace it with a real one. It hurt...and yet felt right at the same time. She was young, naive, and loved you because you saved her. And then you forgave her for what she had done in the past. And of course, everything in between.

You were once an adult. This should be wrong. But...when was it supposed to be right? ugh...you'd have to figure it out later it seems. Because for now, she was right. even if the thought hurt. Her affection did soften you up. and make you feel better.

"Yeah.." You nuzzle your head so the bottom of it rubs upon the top of hers. She lets out a small giggle. Then moves her head out to give you a quick kiss on the cheek.

...Shit...woo..didn't expect that one. You were blushing deep. She was being loving. Almost too much. But she noticed your blushing, and giggled once again. "Anon...you're blushing. Does that mean you really really like me?"

............

"Y-yes"

Diamond Tiara didn't expect to hear that so soon. She thought you'd be a little resisting, but you weren't. You did really begin to like her and her company. Maybe that made you a fool. Either way. She was beaming a smile so bright that if it was a power source, it could power Chicago for months.

"Anon....I...erm..." She began to get embarrassed herself, and blushed. "Can I...try kissing you on your lips? Just once? I read in books that it's supposed to be super romantic. And I'd like my first real kiss to be with you....Y-you don't have to. I-I mean..I know it's soon...b-but.."

Holy shit...the food hasn't even been ordered and she's speeding things along quickly. WHAT DO YOU DO?! WHAT DO YOU SAY?!

"E-erm" If you say no...you might be insulting her....if you say yes.......FUUUCKKK WHYYYYY?!

Wait… "Erm...doesn't it say in books that a first kiss should be in a super romantic...erm..spot?"

Diamond Tiara stopped for a moment, then looked around. None of it was really what anyone would call "Super romantic"

"Oh...OHHH..." She chuckled nervously "S-sorry, I think I over did it...ahmm..."

It seemed she just wanted that kiss period. But now she realized that it probably wouldn't be special unless it was....just right. She looks to one of the waiters, and tries to get the subject to shift to food immediately before you can say anything more. "Waiter, can you attend to us please?"

It only took a moment for one of the passing waiters to come forth. This Stallion was definite class; His mane was curled back and shiny, his suit was perfect, and his speech was nothing but polite. Hell, even his cutie mark, a table with a candle in the middle, suggested dining class. "Good afternoon madame and sir, aren't we having a lovely day?"

Diamond Tiara looked up at the waiter, and composed herself to being more calm, collected, and...of course... rich. "Very lovely"

The waiter nods and takes the menus from his vest and sets them down on the table "Very good, here are the menus for this trip. May I suggest the Saddle Arabian Special? we have exquisite and rare plants, herbs, pastries, and a dessert from their culture ready to be prepared and served if you'd like"

Diamond Tiara looked to you, she was more serious now. Trying not to act too lovey dovey or pushy. "Anon, is that alright with you?"

You nod, hey, if it was a special and food. You were on top of it. Being in horse form, you had the opportunity to taste a whole bunch of new things. "Yeah, and don't even worry about the price. I can pay for it. No matter how expensive it is."

"Very good sir" The stallion takes the menus and expertly slides them back into his vest "I will place in your order immediately and bring you and the miss an appetizing basket of freshly baked bread." The waiter does a small bow, and walks away.

"Wow, he didn't even question the fact we are foals." He didn't seem to care at all.

"Of course not, if you're in the first class car, or really, first class anything. Then it's assumed you have the money to pay, no matter how old." Diamond explains to you

Huh....That seemed about right. You take a glance out the window for Rainbow Dash. She was out of sight now. She's either on the other side or waiting someplace in Canterlot.

When you turn your head, you look on the table to already see the basket placed. Holy shit, that was quick. First class service indeed, they must have had the bread already baking and ready to go.

You take a whiff....woah...for just bread, it had such a pleasing aroma. You also took notice of two filled cups of what seemed to be some clean high quality mineral water. "Hey...huh? What's with the water?"

"They aren't allowed to serve the drinks they usually serve here to young ponies like us, so that's why drinks are never mentioned in the order. It'll always be water. But it's not bad. It's always the freshest water anypony could ever drink." Diamond Tiara states.

Huh...mineral water. You were probably paying for it too. The most expensive glass of water you'll ever drink. You both start to eat the bread and drink the water. Though, knowing the rules of enjoying an expensive meal. Never fill up on bread. It seemed Diamond knew that as well.

She looked at you, she was becoming more passive now, trying to restrain herself and be more proper. but keeping in mind her chance for a "special moment".

"Do you really know Princess Celestia?" She asks you

looking at her. She was very visually anxious.

You nod. "Mhmmm, though I guess you can thank my dad for that. She's a very pleasant mare. She's loving, caring, a bit of a jokester if you can believe it. But I can honestly say that she and me are friends."

Diamond Tiara was just amazed with that that she had to ask. "And I know you know Princess Twilight. But do you also really know Princess Luna and Princess Cadance too?"

You nod again. Man, really, too easy. "Yup, Princess Luna is a little too serious sometimes, even when she tries not to be. And Princess Cadance, she's alright."

"Wow..." Diamond Tiara was always impressed to hear anything like this from you. "You've really gotten around. But I guess being the hero colt let's you have a chance to meet all kinds of ponies." Diamond Tiara was envious as well. The one time she tried to really get in with Twilight. It went awry due to how she conducted herself.

"It does, but..." If this cheesy line doesn't further seal the deal. nothing will. "I'd never have been the hero colt if I didn't have a beautiful filly like you to rescue."

Yeah..you know what? As this went on, you fully began to recognize how easy this actually was. And just seeing her smile, blush, get shy, and even fly off the handle into a cute version of her original self was all so satisfying. You could get used to this. Though, there did seem something odd about this. You'd think you'd have more qualms with this date. But...you didn't. Maybe Chrysalis and Cadance were right after all. Huh.....You'd have to thank bugbutt next chance you get.

Diamond Tiara blushed hard, she didn't know how to feel. She looked away again, she couldn't hide that smile though. "Beautiful?..W-well..I know I am. B-but, It's...erm...it's really nice to hear you think that."

...Yeah..you could really get into this...odd. Maybe some Mary Sueness wasn't bad. "It's not just think, it's something I know. I can't think of a filly more beautiful than you."

Now she was really red. She gulped and then turned around to hide it. She couldn't even speak. You could just hear silent squees.

"Is there a problem young miss?" It was another waiter, a unicorn. With two dishes ready to be served to you and Diamond floating above him. He took notice of Diamond, and thought something was wrong.

Diamond, realizing she definitely gave the wrong impression to him, immediately sits straight and does her best to act dignified, but her face was still deep red. "Nothing...nothing is wrong. T-thank you for bringing our meal"

The waiter bows. "Of course, it's a pleasure to serve you. Please enjoy" He steps backwards and then turns to tend to the other passengers

You look over the meal. Rich people eat this? It was like some plant salad with some brown sauce mixed with little green stuff. Then there was the odd looking dessert fruit. And then there was a cooked layer of...something under it all, it too was brown, but it was shiny and smelled sweet. You didn't know what it was....but..hey..its rich pony food. And the dessert was just a large cube. Given Saddle Arabia must be mostly desert. they probably had specialized sugar cubes or something to have licks at during travel.

Diamond Tiara started to eat, and stayed silent for the most part, but she was still red. Did she not know what to say? Probably.

"How's lunch?" You ask

Diamond Tiara turned away slightly, she was being so cutely shy right now. "I-it's good"

"That's good. I wouldn't want anything less than that. You deserve to eat good." Good wasn't even that good. But if you keep laying on the compliments. Then it'll be a-ok.

She went back to full red, and stayed silent as she continued to eat. Letting out a very quiet "Anon". Just your name. Nothing else.

You taste, and then start eating yourself. It was...damned fucking good actually. First class food..wow..totally different from the slop you had been eating as a human. Though, Discord's meals were damned good too. But of course, he cheats with magic to make those.

And the rest of the train ride went like this. Diamond became mostly silent at this point. She didn't know what to do or say at this point. She was completely mesmerized by your "charm". Paying for the meal was easy enough as well. Though, perhaps it was a tad too expensive. You're miraculous spatial saddle bag was finally showing a noticeable hit in funds. Nothing too major. You could definitely do another first class trip. But then that'd be it. So you might cheap out on the return to Ponyville and use the horn to "dazzle" her.

Then there was Rainbow Dash, the top cunt herself. Wherever she was hiding. She was scheming. Why does she care so much anyway that you fought and beat her? She should just accept it as a dream. If you really wanted, you could have smashed her shit in on the word go. So she should be happy and just fucking accept it.

The train came to a halt. You both had finally arrived.

Diamond Tiara followed you as you stepped out of the train. She was still mostly silent. But her face still had a pinker colorization than her coat. At least you yourself felt re-energized. Lunch was delicious, you were hydrated. Yup, and Canterlot was a bustling royal capital with plenty of possible romantic spots. But first....

You turn back to Diamond Tiara. "Ready to meet Princess Celestia? Annnndddd maybe Princess Luna"

Diamond Tiara just looked at your face, her expression frozen in awe. "Anon...y-you mean. We might be able to meet both of them?"

"Well yeah, they live in the same castle. So it's a possibility"

Both.....both....Diamond was getting overwhelmed. Usually she would do something to make you like her more. A cuddle there, a nuzzle here. But you finally outclassed her. And she had no idea how to really react. She couldn't even leap in joy at this point. It overloaded her mind.

"And then after that, maybe we can find a nice quiet spot to relax before we have to go home. Like under a tree. We could probably view the stars for a bit" That's romantic to ponies...right?

Diamond Tiara was starting to sweat. "J-just the two of us? just...laying with each other and viewing the stars?"

"Yeah, who else would be with us?"

She swooned at the idea, she couldn't hold it in. She let out "T-that sounds...r-romantic" in such a girlish way.

Oh you bet. Chrysalis was definitely right on being more forward. You couldn't imagine what would happen if you sperged out. Oh wait...WAIT...you got a real clencher. "Well...my princess...let's go to the castle."

And just as expected. Her face went from pink to full on red again. "D-did you say..m-my Princess?"

"Mhmmm"

That was it. She fell over, near fainted. The other ponies coming out of the train took looks at her but moved on. Given she was smiling, they didn't think it an issue. You didn't know whether to be worried for her or not. Hell, you didn't even know if you should be worried about yourself. Were you being too forward? Maybe, but you felt confident. this particular confidence almost felt like it was planted in you. But that didn't make sense, you were always sure you was you.

As for Diamond, she was a bit....in thought herself as she seemed to be imagining herself at a wedding. You could hear her say "I do". It was both cute and a little cringy.

"Diamond, are you alright? Did something happen?" You say, being sly about it. Knowing what was going on.

Diamond snaps to attention, then stands up and brushes herself off. She took a breath, started walking forward towards the castle "O-of course I am,I was just a little train sick. That's all."

You nearly let out an arrogant chuckle, train sick, sure. "Oh..does that usually happen?"

"N-n-no. Erm..let's just get going ok? I want to spend as much time with the princess as possible."

Heh, seems she was conflicted with the fact it was a date and the fact she was about to meet and mingle with Princess Celestia. You just follow her, readying yourself for her next spaz. And this time, unlike with Cadance, you'd do the smart thing and tell the guard who you are and that you seek audience with the princess.

But...you still had to keep your eye out for one particular blue cunt.

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