• Member Since 29th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen March 20th

Tired Old Man

Celestia's exhausted personal paperweight.

Search Statistics

Found 13 stories in 17ms

Total Words: 361,418
Estimated Reading: 1 day


Twilight knows Starlight Glimmer has been reformed under her guidance. Er, mostly—she’s still a work in progress, but there is no doubt Starlight is improving in her eyes.

However, there’s just one bad habit Twilight noticed that’s been nagging at her ever since she first saw it. But how would she converse about it? Should it be handled delicately? And when would she bring it up?

Today. Today, she would talk about it.

Chapters (1)

Bulk Biceps is a big stallion. Very big, needs double doors or a wide berth big. He also has a problem with his cutie mark that needs solving.

The Crusaders are more than eager to help, but they have a problem to tackle first: how to fit his girth inside their pretty pink clubhouse.

Rated T for overly gratuitous sexual innuendo.

Chapters (1)

Journals. Everyone keeps one, even if they call it by a different name. An autobiography, some online blog, or even fading memories in the mind regaled as tales to grandchildren, it's always recorded somewhere for someone to see or hear one day. And whether or not it's truth or fiction, it's always unique in delivering an individual perspective on life.

Celestia politely asked Sunny, her mirror pool duplicate, to write about her life experiences in one such journal.

Unfortunately for her, Sunny wasn't very good at following directions.

This is a side story to Letters from an Irritated Princess.

While knowledge of the whole series is not required, it is highly recommended that one has read the events beyond the Slice of Life Letter to have a better understanding of the circumstances. Otherwise, reading this might be confusing.

Correction: It will absolutely be confusing. Also made a small title change that should, in theory, be simpler.

Chapters (18)

Broadcasting LIVE to you at home, this is PNN, your Pony News Network. We cover all ranges of stories, from the mundane to the ridiculous to the even more ridiculous than the ridiculous...is that ridiculouser, Clerk?

No? Just "most ridiculous" is enough? Right, I'll keep that in mind.

Anyway, join me, Dick Sanders, and my humble crew of coanchors, weatherponies and reporters as we cover the whole land of Equestria in our search for truth...or some variation thereof. We’ll find news to report to YOU, ponies of Equestria, even if it's not actually news.

Chapters (1)

Celestia has ruled over Equestria for over a millenium. Granny Smith kept a close eye on Sweet Apple Acres for centuries. Mayor Mare's tireless work kept Ponyville from collapsing into complete chaos most of the time. All of them do their best to keep their heads level in a topsy-turvy world, but even they need some time to wind down.

But how? Do they get drunk together and participate in wacky shenanigans?

In a word? Yes.

This is a side story to Letters From an Irritated Princess. Knowledge of it shouldn't be required to enjoy the story, but it can't hurt, either.

Cover art generously provided by Zaid ValRoa. Thanks a bunch!

Chapters (4)

Letters. Everyone writes them, and they're not just for ponies. Be they carriers of serious news, friendly correspondence between pen pals, or declarations of heart and heartbreak, each one is written with a clear purpose or goal in mind.

Celestia uses them to try and keep her faithful student and friends in line, and try to keep an unbalanced world on the straight and narrow.

This is much harder than it sounds.


Now with an audio reading by Lady Tenkage!

Side Stories:

Old-Fashioned Bar Hoppers, featuring Celestia, Mayor Mare, and Granny Smith shenanigans.
Journal of an Adolescent Clone, featuring Sunny and Moony shenanigans since Season 5.

Chapters (246)

Tutoring is something not many were born to do. I certainly wasn't. Having been a premier magician that performed in the great halls of Manehatten, imagine my surprise when the King and Queen of Equestria approached me with a job opportunity I couldn't refuse, and had no real reason to deny.

Of course, the job was to tutor their two lovely daughters Celestia and Luna, and even though the King and Queen told me they'd be a hoofful to handle, I was certain I could keep them in line.

And you wouldn't believe how wrong I was.


Cover art used with permission from T-3000

Chapters (6)

I am the leader of a prosperous village. Work is frequent, food plentiful, and smiles are everywhere.

I could not do it alone, though. Luna helped me make it all. I am thankful for this.

And yet not all is well. The forest outside calls to me, demands that I explore its depths and the world. The more that come to settle, the less reason I have to stay.

Luna begs me not to go. Says I should stay. The world out there is dangerous. This village, our village, is safe.

But I must go. I will see the world, and nothing will stand in my way.



My thanks goes to ambion and Vrilix for their assistance.

Also, this story is inspired by the game of the same name, which you can find here.

Chapters (3)

Berry Punch has stayed sober for thirty days, battling a demon of temptation all the while.

She has had enough. Tonight, she strives to get rid of the demon once and for all.

But can she succeed, or will she fall and slip into alcoholism once more?


I extend my thanks to Vrilix, ambion, and RedDragon for their incredible assistance.

Chapters (1)

I can't tell you who I am. I don't know who I am. All I know is I need to play a game with the thief that stole my identity to find out.

I woke up in a steeple at the top of the bell tower with no true memories of my past, only vague recollections of the events that led me there. It wasn't long after leaving the steeple that the thief who stole my identity confronted me in the night.

He laughed at my predicament before posing a challenge to me. The prize of this challenge? Earning my identity and life back.

I had no reason to refuse him, since all he has to do is kill me to keep my identity forever. And yet he wants to play a game with me? I'm not questioning it, though. It's my only way to figure out who I am.

He told me that I'm a resident of the town called Ponyville, specifically one of six ponies. Since he's one of them, he's going to make it difficult for me to determine who he is...who I am. He's laid out some rules and guidelines for me to follow, but I don't trust him on those. He seems like the kind to change the rules as he plays the game.

I don't care. I need to play his game. I have to. Otherwise, he'll be me, and I'll be...nothing.


Hoo boy, this crossover will be an interesting one. I'm mashin up MLP and Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door this time, so buckle up and get ready for a bumpy ride.


Proofreading provided by RedDragon and Vrilix.

Chapters (2)
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