• Published 30th Dec 2015
  • 3,277 Views, 170 Comments

Journal of an Alicorn Clone - Tired Old Man

A silly clone of Princess Celestia writes about her not-so-ordinary life.

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Sampling Local Blends to Blend With the Locals

Dear Journal,

Celestia took me to one of her favorite spots to wind down today. She said this would be the next step in learning proper manners, and it involved a good friend of hers! I had no idea who that was, but I was so happy to find out!

Except there was a dilemma. Two Celestias walking the streets would have been a big problem, but Celestia saw this coming and said she’d monitor me while in disguise. But how?

Apparently, all she had to do was change her hair color! And her smell. I pointed out that her hair still smelled like toothpaste, so she spent a few seconds more to make it smell like strawberries! I really want to learn how she did that, and she promised me she would tell me how later.

I’m holding her to that promise. I want my hair to smell like vanilla!

In the meantime, she wanted to introduce me to some of her habits, to understand how she functions. To that end, she escorted me to a small café that smelled like coffee and tea leaves! I know, it didn’t sound all that appealing to me, but she promised me the owner would know just what to make for me!

Curious, I walked inside. Behind a bar with fancy little stools was an odd, lanky-looking tan pony wearing a brown apron that I think wasn’t actually brown to begin with. He turned around and greeted me like I was a diligent patron, which was super strange because it was my first time here, you know?

“Oh, Celestia! Glad to see you!”

“Y-Yeah! Great to see you too!” I said, because I’m supposed to be her right now!

Then he glared at me for a moment. “You’re not her. I’m talking to the one with the pink hair next to you that--” he sniffed the air “--smells like strawberries?” He shrugged. “Well, at least it isn’t toothpaste this time.”

Apparently, Celestia said he’s some kind of shapeshifting bug, so he knows what a good disguise is supposed to be! I guess that also means he knows how to spot fakers. I guess that meant I had a long way to go before I can act proper like Celestia.

“I’ll consider that a compliment, Cuppa Joe.” Then she turned to me. “And this is my double. Her name is, uh, Tia Two.”

“...You really need to come up with a better name for her.”

“I know, I’m working on it. In the meantime, how about something to start off our morning?”

He nodded, and turned around to a bunch of fancy machines that made coffee... I think. “Same as always, Celestia?”

“Hold the fudge, as always,” Celestia said with a small smirk on her face. “And what will you have, Tia Two?”

That was the hardest question today! Just looking at the menu made my head spin from so many options. Hot and cold teas and coffees of so many blends and mixes my head felt all screwy just from reading all of them! But the strange thing is that all of them incorporated fudge, and yet Celestia didn’t want any in hers. Weird… but it couldn’t hurt to try it myself!

“One mocha latte, extra fudge please!”

The barista pony froze for a moment, and turned his head. “Are you… certain you want that?”

Celestia shook her head at me with wide eyes, as if what I had just said was the worst thing I could have possibly ordered. But how could I? It’s on the menu, so it’s gotta be tasty! Who would put awful-tasting food on a menu on purpose?

“Of course!” I replied.

“...I see.” He faced Celestia again. “I know this is on your tab, but I gotta be sure. Are you okay with her getting that?”

She mulled it over for a while, even bringing a hoof to her head while thinking it over. Then she sighed. “Let her have it. Do your worst.”

Cuppa blinked, then went back to brewing our coffees. “Alright then. I hope you enjoy it.”

A few minutes later, and we enjoyed our drinks. I don’t know why they seemed so concerned--that coffee was awesome! They made it sound so crappy, but I showed them! Even so, Celestia made it clear that I shouldn’t order that coffee too often. So I won’t get it the next time I visit. Or the next time. Or the time after that, I guess.

I’ll order it at least once a week, though. That doesn’t sound often at all!