• Member Since 29th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 1st, 2019

Tired Old Man


Celestia's exhausted personal paperweight.

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Found 13 stories in 20ms



Total Words: 361,418
Estimated Reading: 1 day

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My name is Ian. I just turned 40. I own a decent home and car. Life has been pretty normal for me thus far. Boring, one might say...but not anymore.

Now I'm the target of a showmare's anger and frustration after I went and lost her hat. She won't leave me alone until I get it back.

How did I lose her hat? Well...it involves a late-night visit to my bathroom, a trash can, and a plunger.

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I don't know what I was thinking when I came up with this one...but I don't care. This is too ridiculous for me to put down now.

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Proofread/edited/laughed at by RedDragon and Vrilix.

Chapters (7)
T

He is the greatest superhero the galaxy has ever known.

Captain Copernicus L. Qwark was captured by Doctor Nefarious at a Galaxy Burger drive-thru. It couldn't have been a better situation for Nefarious. Ratchet and Clank were nowhere close to save Qwark...and this time, HE WOULD ANNIHILATE HIM!

After Qwark was strapped to a Black Hole Generator of Nefarious's own design, Lawrence handed Nefarious the button that would activate it. He gleefully pushed it, happy that it would finally destroy his long-time squishy nemesis...but something went horribly wrong.

Now all three of them were whisked away into a land of magic and ponies. Will Nefarious see this as an opportunity to conquer a new world? Will Qwark be able to adapt to such a place where magic is nothing like the technology of the Solana galaxy?

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This is a crossover between MLP and R&C featuring everyone's favorite galactic superhero, Captain Qwark!*

*Captain Qwark may not, in fact, be everyone's galactic superhero. Especially to Doctor Nefarious.

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Credit time!

Co-writer/Idea Fountain/Editor: RedDragon
Secondary Editor: Vrilix

Chapters (7)
T

Able Mender just wanted one afternoon of peace and quiet. One.

He thought he could get it in Ponyville, but he was wrong. This town was anything but peaceful.

Now he owns a pet changeling and has to watch over three adventurous little fillies in his spare time...and also the rest of his time. He also has a voice in his head that won't shut up, and he's wrapped up in some ridiculous prophecy claiming that Equestria is doomed if he doesn't go along with it! Naturally, he wanted nothing to do with the prophecy.

Unfortunately for him, Princesses take prophecies very seriously, so he's kinda screwed and doesn't have a choice in the matter.

Meanwhile, the cogs of war never stop turning as a cold, calculating warlord builds an army with the intent of conquering Equestria...assuming he doesn't kill all of them first due to their bumbling incompetence.

His plans stretched over many decades in time all the way up until now. He's invested too much time and effort for it to fail...and it won't. Not unless something happens to stop him before it's too late.

Time's running out. I'm doing what I can to slow him down. The rest is up to you and the Elements, Mender.

...so you better hurry your ass up!

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This is my first story, so comments and criticisms are greatly appreciated.

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Credit time!

Primary Editor: RedDragon
Secondary Editor: Vrilix

Chapters (35)